The WORST FOOD I Have EVER REVIEWED!!

[@GreenoEats]

Hi folks - well the title pretty much sums this one up!!

[@GreenoEats]

And to top it off got my windscreen washer hoses destroyed by the cheeky monkeys too - unbelieveable !!!

[@timbospencer]

That all looked appalling 🤮 Longleat is massively overrated and overpriced. I would definitely recommend giving it a swerve.

[@jessicanippes1730]

I dont like monkeys, cant say why, not my kind of animal 😅

[@robsmith6281]

Oh dear that looked disgusting to be honest left overs from the day before I reckon.

[@Deadman1957TEB]

@@timbospencer Couldn't agree more!

[@WolfmanWoody]

Many years ago I used the canteen at the company I worked for. Once day the pudding they served tasted like is was made with stale flour. It was subsidised and they only charged 5p for the pudding (1976 prices). When I complained the manageress said "What can you expect for 5p?" I replied "There's nothing more expensive than food you cannot eat and has to be thrown away; whatever it costs."

[@GreenoEats]

Yep that's true, if it goes in the bin it doesn't matter how much it cost!!

[@sygazon2318]

Everything about that restaurant tells you that the owners and staff simply couldn’t give a toss. Fair play Greeno for putting yourself through that.

[@GreenoEats]

Agreed - no pridein what they are doing whatsoever, just fleecing a captive audience,

[@christinebeames712]

In a cafe , if what you can see is dirty , what is in the fridges will be disgusting .

[@GreenoEats]

Exactly, if that's front of house, one can only imagine what the rest of it looks like. Or try not to imagine maybe!!

[@richardbowness1595]

You are so right!! If the front of the house is not clean, you can be sure that the kitchens are minging.

[@JohnUnderwood-yz2xu]

With low hygiene standards like those.... You were lucky not to have a bad stomach next day......!!!!

[@davidboyce8683]

You know when the restaurant is dirty , you know the foods going to suck .

[@GreenoEats]

The restaurant AND the cutlery, well then you're in real trouble !!

[@jimthefinger7391]

The dirtier the kitchen the better the food FACT

[@cabbuccino5558]

"At least the fruit shoot was good". Best line in the video. Cracked me up.

[@GreenoEats]

Glad you liked it!!

[@scotty6346]

Dad, Can i have my Lasagne back please! I'm starving!😂

[@GreenoEats]

Ha ha - she's used to it now, bless her !!

[@timbospencer]

@@GreenoEatsYou saved Little’un to be honest. It looked minging.

[@tonyburgham4322]

Oh uck!! On second thoughts dad you can have it. 😂😂

[@jenniferoneill9334]

@@GreenoEats Order another child's portion then and let daughter eat her own meal, not your leftovers!

[@GreenoEats]

@@jenniferoneill9334 Good lord - we shared both plates, I am hardly going to let her go hungry am I !!!

[@bill-hunter]

Oh Greeeno, let me tell you a story about my experience with safari park food. I worked in a safari park in 1973. Rangers were stuck in the reserves from 8 am until 6 pm. Now that was OK, but we knew when taking on the job that that was the deal. People working in safari, particularly the rangers, did it because of their love of animals. Certainly not the salary or anything else. Someone from the restaurant would come around and take our orders for food at lunchtime. But the nature of meant we were limited to pies. I think they charged 50p per pie. As the week went on the pies got worse. Apparently, we were told, they would get food stock into the restaurant on a Monday. Pies etc were heated, all food was purchased frozen. By the time Thursday arrived it was disgusting. They were heating stuff on Monday, what was left was heated on Tuesday, then Wednesday and so on. When Thursday came, they were just inedible. I organised telling park bosses that we would strike if they didn't get the caterers to up there game, or get rid of them and bring in another catering company. I mean, for goodness sake, they were selling this garbage to the paying public. Management had a word with the caterers and everything changed. Management never knew what was going on, because no one had told them. Food changed, along hygiene. Arrangements made to supply staff with decent food etc. It became a different place. If no one has told Management at Longleat ,especially about the hygiene, then nothing will change. Dirty cutlery is vile.

[@GreenoEats]

Kudos to you for getting that sorted !!

[@mandytyers4481]

I know someone years ago ,school.dinner lady ,she told me she complained all the time about the kids dinners .they came in on a Friday . For all the next week .!

[@GreenoEats]

@@mandytyers4481 oh no, that's awful!

[@iancampbell3202]

Love the spinny plate with the F&C

[@GreenoEats]

if it spins fast enough the food flies off - which might be for the best!!

[@FastSnax]

I stayed on a campsite next to Longleat last year, we were going to do the park to relive memories of when our kids were young. When we saw the prices for the park we didn’t bother. A captive audience for food and they serve you poor food in a dirty restaurant, it just shows rip-off Britain is still a thing.

[@GreenoEats]

Oh yes, definitely an overpriced experience all round. £76 entry fee for 1 adult, 1 child. That's strong isn't it !! As for the food, well the less said the better probably ha ha

[@billienomates1]

Never eat food from a chipped plate. Really unhygienic

[@GreenoEats]

I think it was produced that way, they were like tin enameled plates. Still a touch off putting though (although far from the biggest problems here!)

[@Yemmr-o4d]

I rewinded, didn’t notice the chips first time around. Wonder why it didn’t goin bin!

[@GreenoEats]

@@Yemmr-o4d it was part of the way the plate was made I think, for a rustic effect. But who knows how hygienic it actually is!!

[@DadgeCity]

Only in Britain does a child's meal consist of carbs+carbs+carbs with coloured water.

[@GreenoEats]

Well maybe in the States too 🤣

[@chrisjohn4605]

Oh sweetheart, you need to get out more if you think that's exclusive to Britain.

[@punns643]

Australia too

[@FloatingCroc]

Stupidest comment on this video

[@mrn13]

@@danimayb Capitalism? All other Western European countries + Japan and many others are capitalist and does offer great food for kids so I dont know what you are talking about?

[@angelgreer2470]

Hi Greeno. I’ve just come over from Gary’s channel. Great review you both did. Looking forward to following you too 😊🇬🇧

[@GreenoEats]

Welcome to the channel 🙂 I hope you will enjoy my videos too!

[@geebee6737]

As a young person earning some extra money I used to work at a motorway service station , back in the day they had restaurants not fast food joints. Their attention to detail was exceptional with hygiene being a priority , something that seems to have been lost in translation with today's generation. Did you happen to notice their hygiene rating ? Maybe this is something you should be looking at.

[@GreenoEats]

I didn't notice the hygiene rating - which probably means it wasn't displayed that prominently... the worry I would have is if that little care and attention is paid to the front of house, there's little chance that the back rooms are any better!!

[@humdumdiggdy]

I went to Woburn as a kid. Monkeys picked the vinyl roof and windscreen wipers off. A bear took care of the wing mirror. Seems there's other sorts of scoundrels in the kitchens at longleat

[@GreenoEats]

@@humdumdiggdy A bear? Blimey, that must have been a somewhat frightening experience!

[@neiltonks4627]

According to the Food Standards Agency website, Longleat has a food hygiene rating of 5 (‘very good’)

[@lukebignell7846]

Charging 12.95 for a frozen haddock with batter, some frozen chips and mushy peas. Wow, that is rip off city. Kids meal was also all frozen

[@GreenoEats]

Absolutely - fleecing a captive audience !!

[@ianrob4760]

Reminds me of the crap we had in Disney at Paris …

[@GreenoEats]

Oh yes, I have done that trip a coupleof times - not exactly the "fine dining" the French are renowned for is it !

[@ianrob4760]

@@GreenoEats nope and it is worse than Florida !! Btw just found you channel via checking for Clarkson !! And Gary with the other review seemed to get a slightly better experience

[@GreenoEats]

@@ianrob4760 he was a little more forgiving as he went within the first couple of days of opening. I found the same issues he noted almost 2 weeks later

[@SunnyNeuroshima]

7:26 Sounds like the lady in the background summed up the food perfectly with her comment.

[@GreenoEats]

Ha ha, I didn't notice that in the edit - well spotted!

[@garethwilliams976]

If front of house is dirty what must the kitchen be like? I always check the table and cutlery before deciding to eat or walk out. Why are food hygiene ratings not shown on the door as is compulsory in Wales? Why are English people less worthy of protection?

[@GreenoEats]

Front of house being like that does make you wonder what's going on behind the scenes doesn't it !

[@kateking1980]

Overpriced, bought in rubbish in all these places I find these days. Dirty tables and undertrained staff is a common theme sadly. We take a picnic or buy a meal deal now when we go to Longleat, and then we go for a nice pub meal on the way home! ❤

[@GreenoEats]

You plan sounds like a much better idea - picnic next time (and missing out the monkey enclosure!!)

[@GreenoEats]

@@davidsartin1016 whereas the monkeys are just getting drunk on windscreen washer fluid!!

[@rickb3645]

😂 Oh dear Greeno!... A few years ago we had a few family members over visiting from Australia... And they wanted to go to Longleat Safari Park while they were all here... And some friends of ours had warned them that the food there was generally of a poor quality... And they would be much better off taking their own packed lunch and a bunch of drinks instead... But unfortunately they didn't heed the warning... The result was pretty much the same as yours my friend... 😂 Oh well... Better luck next time Greeno... All the very best... Cheers mate. 🍺

[@GreenoEats]

Yep, we live and learn - next time I'll take a picnic! And I am sure that better reviews will be just around the corner!!

[@Ben-Cricket]

You should try the local dishes. Giraffe isn’t too bad, but the Monkey Madras is out of this world.

[@GreenoEats]

🤣I have actually eaten alligator, zebra and camel before!!

[@richardbowness1595]

Another excellent review. You have shown us where NOT to eat!!

[@GreenoEats]

If I can do that at least I am narrowing down the food options right 🤣

[@richardbowness1595]

@@GreenoEats ,Right!!

[@newsoftheday420]

The Chameleon tree at Longleat.. I will be recommending this to Gary 🤣

[@GreenoEats]

I think his son is a little bit old to be taking to the zoo haha!

[@5714sqd]

There is no excuse for dirty cutlery or dirty tables. The food looks awful, Greeno, I am surprised you managed to eat some of it. The location is very expensive to visit. I looked up the admission, seventy plus pounds for an adult and child is outrageous, for those prices you would think they could hire staff to clean the place. Thanks for taking one for the team. As always, it was a great review.

[@GreenoEats]

Thanks for the kind words about the review... yeah it was £76 entry fee for the 2 of us - not cheap. As you say, some extra staff on minimum wage wouldn't break the bank !

[@HelenBetts-j6w]

If the place is that dirty, and it obviously is,why would you stay?

[@GreenoEats]

@@HelenBetts-j6w it's canteen style, so I had already ordered and paid by the time I saw the message of the place and the cutlery etc.

[@paulcherrytrains3339]

Keeping the place clean is one of the basics. Chameleon is a good name for it. I would be turning green. Dirty cutlery would be my signal to walk out. Thanks for enduring that filthy dump. Hope you didn't get food poisoning.

[@GreenoEats]

We were fine, but I wouldn’t choose to eat there again that’s for sure!

[@barrydalziel]

Sadly corporates are interested in profits over customers

[@GreenoEats]

Yes, that is the bottom line I think!

[@747jono]

Agree you have to try Greeno. It's a pity that probably couple of miles away a nice cosy little pub ,little un could eat outside with you. At least you would get better value. Remember on a travel show looking at motorway service stations yuck. Advised people to venture off the motorway find local eatery would be glad of your custom, same advice on French motorways

[@GreenoEats]

Yes, I am sure there are lots of nice country pubs withing striking distance!

[@Deadman1957TEB]

You forgot to mention the £70+ it cost to get in! I was told that when there was an independent restaurant at Longleat, they wouldn't give them enough "rent" so they kicked them out and did it thereselves, what you experienced was the result of greed!

[@GreenoEats]

Yep, £76 for the 2 of us entry fee. That's interesting about the other restaurant, I bet that would have got better reviews huh :-)

[@GreenoEats]

@@Dionysos640 with the ticket prices for entry I don't think that they'll be on a financial knife edge!!

[@lisabudd5979]

Fantastic your really good at your reviews your discription of the food is informative and honest

[@GreenoEats]

Thank you, I appreciate the kind words !

[@richardramsden22]

Hey up. . . Cracking way of applying salt n vinegar - S then V then S again. . Brilliant mate 🤩

[@GreenoEats]

Best of all worlds with the salt, vinegar, salt trick!

[@colinbrigham8253]

Thank you very sad children having to eat in a filthy environment

[@GreenoEats]

Yes, you would think a place like this should have some better controls in place.

[@nickgillon2625]

I think your spot on Greeno, That flaverlous fish has been preprocessed probably 4 to 5 months previous and snap frozen ... hence the flavour loss. Totally agree with you ...absolute garbage .

[@GreenoEats]

Garbage food eaten in a venue about as clean as a bin!

[@jacquibradley1598]

Sorry, so it was a Chameleon pretending to be a cafe? That's karma!! 😋😋

[@GreenoEats]

I see what you did there :-)

[@jacquibradley1598]

@@GreenoEats Showing your age then lol 😋😋🤗🤗

[@kennethausten]

How can a lazania be bland. It's one of those popular menus for decades. Many make it at home and it's wonderful. Not good to be let down by such a basic simple menu.

[@GreenoEats]

Baffling isn't it - we make lasagne at home often, and it's with a lovely rich sauce. This one was like a brick !!

[@rationalbacon5872]

It was cooked long ago in a large batch, portioned, frozen and then microwaved excessively to serve. All the nutrients and flavour are long gone.

[@GreenoEats]

@@rationalbacon5872 you are probably right! It was dreadful!!

[@dennisdistant]

If the food for humans is like that then I can only shudder to think what the animals have to eat everyday.

[@GreenoEats]

I am gonna bet that they eat better than the paying customers do!

[@garybirch3525]

New subscriber, i lived in Italia for years, kids eat so much healthier, and any place serving that what you ate, wouldnt be in business for very long

[@GreenoEats]

Welcome to the channel Gary ! I think a lot of European (especially Mediterranean) countries have a healthier diet all round, and the kids are brought up on it. We try to give our nippers a relatively balanced diet, but when you're at a place like this options are limited aren't they.

[@yutub6928]

Mind you, it was 21 £ for an adult and a child’s portions and with no drinks. So, for two adults could be around 35 £. Not worth it if you ask me. Thanks for your honest reviews.

[@GreenoEats]

Not cheap, and really disappointing - a bad combination !

[@ChrisShadowens]

Maybe the safari critters were helping in the kitchen that day? Gotta earn their keep!

[@GreenoEats]

Ha ha, maybe so. They were certainly happier eating bits of my car than they would have been eating in the restaurant!

[@FastSnax]

They probably feed the animals the left overs

[@Glyn-g4q]

Loving your videos. Only been subscribed to your channel a few weeks but great content. Going into a place were the tables aren't being kept clean is a put off. If I'd seen a dirty piece of cutlery as well, I think I'd have walked out at that point. 😂😂

[@GreenoEats]

Unfortunately by the time I saw the dirty cutlery the meal was bought and paid for - it's certainly a red flag isn't it. Thanks for the kind words about the content, much appreciated !

[@Secret_Squirrel_Scottishgamer]

The animals get better food than that slop

[@GreenoEats]

I certainly hope so, or I am calling the RSPCA !!

[@jacquibradley1598]

Hi Greeno, I went there twice in 1984, the food was disgusting then and we all know unless you invest it will go downhill. But 1 little anecdote, when we went through the monkey enclosure the first time the monkeys broke off our aerial. So when we went back the second time we had invested in a screw in screw out rubber encased aerial, unfortunately, my husband thought I had taken it out and vice versa, so when we entered the enclosure the monkeys jumped on the bonnet and stripped every piece of rubber away, leaving a coil like metal antenna, so much for indestructible?? Anyway, we never went back, instead we took the boys to Marwell Zoo. Thank you for the review though, I am sure will help some folks. 😋😋🤗🤗

[@GreenoEats]

Those monkeys are something else - why we think it's a good idea to drive through the enclosure I will never know!! Marwell is a much safer option :-)

[@jacquibradley1598]

@@GreenoEats Safer and nicer in my opinion! 😎😎

[@merlin3229]

Fridays at school was always fish and chips. It was absolutely great. This was back in the 90s! That looked awful.

[@GreenoEats]

Fish and chips Fridays- a classic!

[@MikePaton-Williams-yv9qo]

I knew Greeno was in trouble when he let Gary play on the bonnet of his car🤦🏻‍♂️

[@GreenoEats]

Ha ha, cheeky monkey!

[@MikePaton-Williams-yv9qo]

@@GreenoEats me or Gary on the bonnet😉

[@garfieldsmith332]

We call this kind of restaurant a "Scarf and Barf".

[@GreenoEats]

Ha ha - fortunately there was no barf afterwards !

[@johngreen8996]

Thanks for the warning.

[@GreenoEats]

You're welcome - take a picnic if you go !

[@Hedgehogsinthemist123]

Deep frozen fish is completely tasteless. Unfortunately, most pubs (where I live anyway) seem to serve it. These tourist attractions are all the same.

[@GreenoEats]

Really disappointing isn't it !

[@rjpender70]

Did I hear someone shout " disgusting" lol

[@GreenoEats]

Maybe 😂

[@mrpscorpio]

That’s what you get at the parks/theme parks they cater for the masses unfortunately. Quantity is given over quality. I always bring my own food and for what they charge that option always works. New subscriber here and very impressed. Keep up the good work my man

[@GreenoEats]

Welcome to the channel! Yeah, this place clearly isn't relying on repeat customers is it!!

[@costasworldofmusicmemories5792]

My wife I don't mind spending the money. However we want value for money.. Charging more money for food in restaurants doesn't always get you a good meal. Restauranters need to pay attention to that. All the best mate 👍 Jim and Harriet

[@GreenoEats]

I agree 100% - it's about whether the food is good value for money, whether it's £5 or £50

[@techware1840]

Thks for taking one for the team Greeno - it looked disgusting 🤮 - hope u have better luck with the next place u review 🤞

[@GreenoEats]

Yep, fingers crossed for better food experiences to come 🙂 Thanks for watching!

[@DanielByrnes-t6v]

That food looks like it's suffering from hunger

[@GreenoEats]

Ha ha

[@MattMcQueen1]

Hmm... "Freshly Battered Fish". I think you're right, looks frozen.

[@GreenoEats]

It was freshly battered... in a factory shortly before it was flash fried and frozen ready for shipment !! 😂

[@MattMcQueen1]

@@GreenoEats Ah, fresh frozen. LOL. Ah well, at least you got a subscribe from me.

[@GreenoEats]

@@MattMcQueen1 well that's some good news then, welcome to the channel 🙂 I hope you'll enjoy more of the content!!

[@747jono]

No wifelets these days use to love the old fella super eccentric brilliant

[@GreenoEats]

Oh yes, the proper old Lord Bath was a real character wasn't he - bonkers but in a good way !!

[@snowysimon]

Same at Woburn safari park £15.00 for basic fish and chips - was cold, small portion and dry frozen fries, frozen battered cod - can get much better quality and bigger portion size at local chippy with fresh fish and proper chips for £10.00

[@GreenoEats]

They just think they have a captive audience, so don't have to try that hard!

[@mamasinger49]

Too bad about the fish, it looked nice and crispy but that doesn't matter if it's bland. I think if I saw the state of the tables, I would have walked straight out. Just yuck. Well, thank you for taking one for the team, hopefully the next review will be more pleasant!

[@GreenoEats]

Yeah, the general hygiene of the seating areas, plus the dirty cutlery are big red flags for me. When front of house is that unclean, it makes you wonder what it’s like behind the scenes too!

[@rhi-defined]

Oh Greeno...the title certainly does sum it up, gosh!

[@GreenoEats]

Not great was it 🤣

[@ThreeFiddy1701]

Lovely school / prison canteen, cafeteria, little chef service station on M25 vibes all rolled into one there ... 🍽️

[@GreenoEats]

Ha ha - it was all of those things, but less refined :-)

[@keithwatkins7908]

Clearly the Chameleon Tree needs to change ......for the better.

[@GreenoEats]

Absolutely!

[@user-ye2ge4zo5lhennypenny]

Dirty cutlery just isnt on!! Shocking

[@GreenoEats]

Absolutely, if that’s the care and attention they are paying to the front of house, it does make you wonder what’s going on in the kitchens

[@simonhartung3683]

Shocking I felt for you greeno on this one I'd rather bring my own food or a McDonald's

[@GreenoEats]

Yeah, next time I will take a picnic 🤣

[@nigelwatson2750]

Zero nutrition in that kids meal apart from the beef in the lasagna. Quadruple carbs (sugar)

[@GreenoEats]

There may have been some veg used in the ragu… but not enough to defeat your point!

[@kennethausten]

Last mushy peas i bought was from aldi. Best i have ever had. I do not use Aldi, but i took a neighbour there so i bought a few things. Disgusting for longleat. I hope they see this.

[@GreenoEats]

Tesco own brand mushy peas are pretty good too!

[@AbsoluteNut1]

that's enough tartar sauce for 3 bites of the fish. How generous!

[@GreenoEats]

Maybe they know you won't want more than 3 bites!

[@janwilson7397]

Dirty un clean tables and dirty cutlery.. that's a big no no straightaway! What are the kitchens like I wonder? I would have walked out at this point and not even tried the food. Food looked mediocre. Wonder what their food hygiene rating is?

[@GreenoEats]

Being a kind of "canteen style" place, you order and pay for the food before you even sit down, or collect the cutlery... lesson learned though. Take a picnic next time (and avoid the monkey enclosure!!)

[@christinebeames712]

Remember one star is given for book keeping ? ? So if it’s 3 it’s really 2

[@GreenoEats]

@@christinebeames712 I didn't notice the hygiene rating, but if the EHO turned up on the day I was there then God help them!

[@sianporter5340]

Missed little ‘un today! I hope she enjoyed Longleat though even if the food was questionable ❤

[@GreenoEats]

We’d been camping, so I guess she was concerned she might not look her best ha ha!

[@davecharlie3504]

I'd say got to the chippy if you're going to eat fish & chips before we lose them!

[@GreenoEats]

Yep - chippy almost always the best place to get fish and chips right !!

[@davecharlie3504]

The Plaice to be Greeno!!

[@Sharpshooter99100]

Biggest turn off is when you sit down in an eating place and the table is dirty and not wiped/cleared. Some places are shameless for that, even high end places. Ruins the whole experience and blatantly disgusting. I went for a drink with someone in the Hilton hotel Adelaide, for a date! The table was uncleared, dirty, and no one bothered to clean it. Staff were not busy either and chatting. Meant to be 5* too. Absolutely gross

[@GreenoEats]

That's down to a lack of care and / or training. No excuse anywhere, but particularly in high end places!

[@youseetime]

Would love to know what the Food Hygiene rating was on the door? I never go into a place if tables are dirty!

[@GreenoEats]

To be honest I didn't notice

[@usualfulful]

The worst restaurant I have been to ran out of cutlery. It was a tourist spot, similar to this one. We decided to settle for just a beverage and get our food some place else, when we overheard a waitress tell customers at the table next to us that she was waiting on cutlery, after she put their plates down with (hot) food that looked like someone had transferred microwaved pulp to a plate.

[@GreenoEats]

Good lord, sounds like you had a lucky escape just having a drink there!

[@DanielByrnes-t6v]

That fish looks like it's from the East River in NYC.

[@GreenoEats]

Looks like it's from a lake near Mr Burns power plant in Springfield lol

[@AlienMidget123]

First saw you on Gary's channel and subscribed - love your content. I have to say as someone who has worked as a waiter and a barman for many, many years - seeing your fish and chips served on a chipped plate really p***ed me off. Chipped crockery/glassware goes in the BIN. Arrrrggghhh how little can someone care???

[@GreenoEats]

Welcome to the channel! Glad you enjoyed the video, even if it infuriated the hospitality side of you 🙂

[@pamelaatkinsonscats2873]

It all sounded horrible and greasy. For the price, it should have at least been edible. The dirty knife was off-putting.

[@GreenoEats]

Properly awful!

[@baggieboys9]

he did eat it

[@GreenoEats]

@@baggieboys9 some of it, not much though

[@ToothTalksTaste]

Ah mate... That's pretty grim, feels like one of those places where they know you're a captive audience, so they don't give a monkey's...

[@GreenoEats]

💯 agree, grim is a good word for it!

[@DanielByrnes-t6v]

The mushy peas look funny

[@GreenoEats]

Indeed

[@GaryG1974]

Greeno, I applaud you for your calmness and politeness. If it were me, I would be raging! I would have taken it all back and walked out. That so-called "food" and lack of standards was truly disgusting and beyond belief. I sincerely hope they proprietors see this review, because they need to improve things.

[@GreenoEats]

Yes, I hope it's brought to their attention, as standards there are very poor indeed. Not often I won't finish a meal as my waistband pays testament to !!

[@spacecoastdriver]

Wow! that children's lasagna looks like it's been sitting under the heat lamp since Napoleon Bonaparte attended military school in Brienne.

[@GreenoEats]

Possibly even longer!

[@jessicanippes1730]

What a sad plate... sorry for the both of you 😢

[@GreenoEats]

Yes, very disappointing indeed Jessi.

[@susan_elizabeth]

American here, so please forgive my ignorance. Does the vinegar go on the chips only, or is it also added to the fish?

[@GreenoEats]

It's a matter of personal taste. Normally I only put vinegar on the chips, but many folk will also put it on the fish too. I do like vinegary sides though, pickled cucumber, onion or egg :-)

[@katiebice3905]

Lasagna pasta, bread, potato. ALL STARCH. Not a HEALTHY kids meal at all.

[@GreenoEats]

Perhaps so, but that’s the kind of things all these type of venues knock out isn’t it.

[@JSC131]

Greeno the lasagne looks like a dry boot but the fish and chips looked first class great content as usual.

[@GreenoEats]

The fish and chips did look ok - although looks can be deceiving. The "taste" was dismal ! Thanks for the kind words about the content!!

[@cawstongreenway]

Nothing about pride, quality and delivering an experience. And we wonder why youngsters don't seem to take the initiative in the workplace. There is nothing here that anyone with a bit of get-go can grab and make work. Free school meals level 😂

[@GreenoEats]

100% - the culture seems to be one of doing the minimum, and once you're working in that environment it becomes endemic.

[@robmcallen798]

Bad hygiene in the service area should send up major red flags as if what you can see is grim the kitchen if going to be far worse. I'm guessing the kids meal was kiddo's choice as it was carbs *3....and it still looked grim(dry lasagna,garlic bread that might have walked past a toaster and chips that were kinda meh). On the upside decent review of a crap place to eat :) Hope you have more luck in the next place you review.

[@GreenoEats]

Yep, red flags everywhere ! The kids meal was indeed her choice - she could have had salad or veg as a side, but not many 11 yr olds would do that when chips and garlic bread are on offer ha ha! Appreciate the kind words about the review :-)

[@frenchhornwoman]

Why the hell do these places think they can do this? My guess is the fact the families only go once and say "oh well" And that is what the companies think.... FFS

[@GreenoEats]

Yep, they're clearly not focused on return business!

[@jamesdobson5022]

Thank you for the review. That place is like so many places these days, it serves pretend food. If you are lucky it looks nice and real, but it’s just a poor impersonation of the real thing. Greggs for example pre made fillings, lots of air and pastry. Make your own or go to a family run place that actually cooks from scratch !!! See you on the next one !!!

[@GreenoEats]

Yep, the fish and chips certainly looked better than it tasted, I normally try to find positives, but in this place I simply couldn’t. Just churning out rubbish to the captive audience

[@samgraham9354]

Was that plate chipped on the adult meal, or, was it supposed to be rustic?

[@GreenoEats]

It was like a tin plate, enamel kind of thing, was part of the design. Didn't look attractive though, and kept moving around on the table ha ha !

[@BenjaminGessel]

Lasagna sucks…. Unless it’s authentic Italian lasagna maybe… I mean… It’s very cheesy. Period. If you hate cheese, you’ll hate lasagna. If you love cheese, you’ll probably like lasagna. 🤷‍♂️ That being said… There are lots of different kinds of cheeses…. 🤔🤔🤔 Plus, tomato sauce, eggplant, meats, the part of lasagna that has to do with the dough part, herbs, maybe a little spinach, etc. 🤷‍♂️ So yeah. Everyone puts too much cheese on lasagna…

[@GreenoEats]

You could have built a wall with this lasagne, it was like a brick!

[@Edith-t4j]

Frozen fish and Frozen chips at steep prices spoiled a good day out.

[@GreenoEats]

In a previous video I made fish, chips and peas for under £1, and it was much tastier than what I got at Longleat!

[@LifeAtTheMasthead]

Seems to be common in uk eateries to have someone clesr the dirty crockery away but not bother to come back to clean the table, so you have to sit at a table with crumbs and food debris on it. In most european countries the table is pristine within a couple of minutes of customers leaving. Zero excuses for anything to be dirty.

[@GreenoEats]

Absolutely correct. I made a video in a McDonalds in Hungary a few weeks back, and it was spotless. 2 staff walking the floor at all times clearing, wiping, sweeping. Definitely a step up from here!!

[@buffys3477]

They have a captive audience so don’t need to make any effort. I usually take a nice packed lunch to places like these.

[@GreenoEats]

Yes, I guess they're not hoping for repeat custom, so think they can get away with whatever.

[@yxmichaelxyyxmichaelxy3074]

Me, remembering the food at my high school...

[@GreenoEats]

ha ha - definite school dinner vibes!

[@yxmichaelxyyxmichaelxy3074]

@@GreenoEats Don't remind me. Ugh. There were times I walked up the street to KFC.

[@siobhanblake9150]

Eww... I hate dirty tables and cutlery! I saw that in the height of the pandemic between lockdowns and I was so grossed out I never went back. The food itself looks absolutely disgusting! Obviously, it's worth going to see the animals, and bringing your own food.

[@GreenoEats]

There are plenty of green areas to enjoy a picnic (if the weather is clement) - definitely cannot recommend this Chameleon Tree outlet !!

[@siobhanblake9150]

@@GreenoEats A picnic sounds a much better idea for sure!

[@SeraphimLeo]

Was the restaurant run by the animals from the park? This place is in desperate need of an inspection by government food and safety regulators. Dirty used cutlery 🤢🤮

[@GreenoEats]

The animals would do a better job!!

[@user-ye2ge4zo5lhennypenny]

You should Gary Eats there to review! Just saying! 🎉

[@GreenoEats]

Ha ha, I think he has seen my review, so would probably steer clear (plus I think his son is a little bit old to be taking to a safari park for a day out ha ha)

[@user-ye2ge4zo5lhennypenny]

@@GreenoEats I would just love to see Gary's reaction to the animals there ie the Monkeys 🐒 🙈 🙊 😅🤣😂

[@JohnBassett-o7q]

The trouble with dumps like this, once your in there and you're hungry they're got you by the bollocks. It was that dirty i would have walked out and reported them. I've worked in this area quite a lot and 10mins away is Warminster with some nice pubs & restaurants.

[@GreenoEats]

That's exactly it - captive audience... doesn't matter what you serve them.

[@Deadman1957TEB]

I've not watched the video yet! But even without your thumbnail I know what's coming! My Mrs loves the place, but we always take a picnic!

[@GreenoEats]

You could have told me ha ha !!!

[@Deadman1957TEB]

@@GreenoEats You never asked!

[@GreenoEats]

@@Deadman1957TEB ha ha - touche !!

[@davidbolton1770]

Rumour has it that the monkeys come to the back and feed off the left-overs :D Only jesting but who knows.

[@GreenoEats]

I think I might have been eating the monkey's leftovers ha ha !!

[@Secret_Squirrel_Scottishgamer]

More like the monkeys are filling in for the chefs.

[@GreenoEats]

@@Secret_Squirrel_Scottishgamer ha ha, maybe that's it !

[@nickwaldron3223]

Hi Greeno Just typical of these sorts of places. Charge a lot for garbage food with no care of hygiene.

[@GreenoEats]

Some tourist places do it well - this is not one of them !

[@bill-wd7zs]

KZbin won't let me reply to your comment for some reason. So, Lockwoods frozen mushy peas are widely available I think. My missus gets them from farm foods but I think Tesco and Iceland sell them as well. They take a fair old bit of simmering with added water but are worth the effort IMO.

[@PotatoPirate123]

Often places just can't be arsed. They want things as cheap and simple as possible for their young ping-meal cooks to make and to give them the biggest profit margins.

[@GreenoEats]

YT is doing weird things with comments I think. I'll definitely look out for those Lockwoods :-)

[@GreenoEats]

True enough - profit margins more important than a good customer experience

[@fv1291]

I'm like a human garbage disposal, I'll eat anything anywhere, and enjoy it! 😉

[@GreenoEats]

Ha ha, you and Little’un alike it seems then!

[@collin6238]

On the other hand people should clear up their own mess before leaving the table to others

[@GreenoEats]

True, but the staff should be out wiping the tables before new customers go to sit there