The Worst Game Made By A Government...

[@seP4]

you can legally download the persian release of this game from internet archive: archive.org/download/dark-years-modern

[@DasAntiNaziBroetchen]

Why would I ever do such a thing to myself and my harddisk?

[@nyxxic4550]

please remove the legally part from that sentence, piracy causes no harm to profits so stop hating on it

[@sejozwak]

based @@nyxxic4550

[@waddledoo_eatsrocks]

​​​@nyxxic4550 nobodys gonna buy that shit lmfao they would rather download the game than paying for it

[@DasAntiNaziBroetchen]

@@nyxxic4550 You seem to have no understanding what the word "legal" means.

[@themediamogul99]

The GTA San Andreas bit actually broke me so hard. Was not expecting to see a direct clone of CJ's house, from 1992, in what is supposed to be London, that supposedly was a "fully recreated" 1953 version of the city, in a game made in 2015.

[@TheRealEncy]

_"Ah Sh!t Here We Go Again."_

[@NigelMontezuma]

YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE FOOLS!

[@meatblazestudios3778]

Space is warped, and time is bendable...

[@Hansalicious]

@@NigelMontezuma Ay Big Smoke, It's me, Carl, Chill, Chill!1!!!!

[@ShodaiGojira-xn3xk]

Takes place in 1953 London, has a 1977' US Police Car, and CJ's 1992 house???

[@TammoKorsai]

4:20 1.5 calibre would be 3.8cm, thus meaning the detective found an autocannon shell.

[@AdrianOkay]

there's only one handheld gun i can think of chambered in 1.5 cal meaning that he got killed by a direct hit of a tear gas grenade launcher lmao

[@yarpen26]

Funny how much crap flies over your head if you don't know the first thing about the subject at hand. Not being capable of telling a shotgun from a long British bow, I zone out at any phrase with the world "caliber" in it.

[@nyanniepupowo]

@@AdrianOkay LMFAO

[@behzadmirmozaffari2563]

Now that's badass🤣🤣🤣

[@Pagong27]

whoever fired the gun chambered with it probably broke their arm as well (lol)

[@heroiccombatengineer6018]

3 years of development. Bro I swear I can imagine the work atmosphere in the office, music busting out loud, everyone drinks tea, chit chat, watching sth on the phone and everyone is happy to get paid while doing nothing 😂

[@bolieve603]

Add hookah in the break room and I'm in

[@ralek592]

@@bolieve603 based

[@heroiccombatengineer6018]

@@bolieve603 true I forgot that since I don't smoke that cancer no more 😂

[@shadowslayer205]

Government contracting in a nutshell.

[@jimsantus8927]

you must be talking about me.

[@testedhawk]

This game released alongside: -Bloodborne -Batman: Arkham Knight -MGSV -The Witcher 3 -Dying Light -Mortal Kombat X -SOMA And so many other games that make this release look like it came out next to Alone in the Dark

[@raresvlad5022]

Bruh don't disrespect Alone in the Dark like that 💀💀💀

[@zyie_playz]

Bro gta 5 was out at that time GTA FUCKING 5

[@bxdroid]

@@zyie_playzGTA V came out on 2013, the one you mentioned is the PC port of the game

[@zyie_playz]

@@bxdroidI know it came out on 2013 that’s why I’m saying gta v was out

[@cottonandballs]

This comment made me mad because I now get reminded that Bloodborne is still not on PC yet.

[@chuckthewizard7288]

Ah yes a 1.5 caliber (38.1mm) pistol. Apparently our journalist was assassinated with a fucking grenade launcher

[@RACECAR]

I mean, it would be effective (Though also the Noisiest way to "Assassinate" someone)

[@oz_jones]

​@@RACECAR overt vs clandestine

[@mr0mooz368]

I died laughing

[@SirButtz]

Even before handguns were banned in the UK they weren't very common, that poor assassin probably had to use a flare gun

[@dolfyhilter577]

as an iranian, here is some insight on what happens in the gaming industry here: to put it simply, if an entertainment media has no propaganda in it, then it gets no funding by the government, so most companies or teams either work on small projects on mobile or get their funding from people who want to support these projects. The gaming scene was big in iran during late 2000s, with many games being dubbed in Persian by professional voice actors, it got so big that companies who do these dubs and distribute the games decided to make games themselves, and almost all of the games that are created are absolutely horrendous, it's always the bare minimum with little to no creativity, as if the devs don't know what makes games "Fun" to begin with, just mindless point and click shooting or walking for the most part, some however did well compared to rest of the well...junk, that was put out, but in the end once the age of digital downloading came it all went downhill for these companies, to the point that games were no longer being dubbed. For more context, since copyright laws don't apply in iran, people can just download any foreign game they want for FREE without any consequences, if anything piracy is actually encouraged here, because CD releases were no longer making profit all companies that were in the gaming scene slowly vanished, right now the biggest "Localization" comes in form of Persian subs for games, basically adding a persian option for all the texts in games, and i'm saying this because since games don't have an official persian localization team small companies or teams inside iran make these localizations instead. As of now most companies that are in the gaming scene only make mobile games, some of which are actually pretty good, even if they are just clones of other popular mobile games. (i hope i didn't make too many mistakes while writing this as i'm tired as hell, if you need more info or have questions about the entertainment or gaming industry in iran then i'm more than happy to answer.)

[@seP4]

accurate 👍 declining economy, drm, and games becoming harder to modify also contributed to the death of those dubbing teams

[@dolfyhilter577]

@@seP4 precisely, i forgot to mention those two points so thank you, and also thank you for responding chief 👍 By the way i suggest checking out "Hostage" and "Incident (Or accident?) in tehran", both of these are games that i played during my childhood which i still remember the gameplay of, all i can say is that the former is an absolute laughing material while the latter at least has some effort put into it.

[@SamJD1976]

As Someone Who Lives There And is a Gamer and Repair Technician For Electronic Devices It Actually is Pretty Accurate!!

[@SamJD1976]

@@kawabatayuri Nope It's Not Nazis Actually Have quite a lot of Fans here

[@dolfyhilter577]

@@kawabatayuri Dolfy is a meme here bro, unless you want more context then that's basically the reason lol

[@Larry]

9:44 Love the fact this game is set in London in 1953, yet the London Eye (the big wheel) is there which wasn't opened until the year 2000 🤣

[@whosaidthat84]

I blame Peter Molyneux

[@jacobxiaolong9104]

Holy cow Larry?!?!?! I didn’t expect you to be here!

[@yarpen26]

And the wife wearing a hat indoors because female hair are verboten in Iran.

[@Ochenter]

Hahahaaa😂😂😅

[@emberfist8347]

Or how the police cars are the completely wrong color being how an American police car NYPD or LAPD car would be. From what I could gather, Police cars in London were baby blue and white in the 1950s.

[@JohnWilliamNowak]

Game set in 1953. Fly from London to Iran on an aircraft that looks like it might be a Boeing 707, which made its first flight in 1957.

[@souvikrc4499]

And Iran Air only received its 707s in 1965.

[@UmiZoomR]

All this and thats whats on your mind lol

[@theremnant117]

@@UmiZoomR "omg you know a specific piece of information? gosh you don't know anything important do you lol" username checks out

[@linkfreeman1998]

and even then, there's a chance that there are still very few airlines would use 707s direct by the time like, 1959 rolls in. At best its those flag carriers who had so much money like Pan Am, American Airlines, Qantas...By 1957 its either just the B367-80 test bed or the actual prototpe 707-120...which both had to do several stops from UK to Iran since it has really short range relative to later variants.

[@gamingwithlukeJToH]

judging by the taller deck after the wing, it might even be a Boeing 747, which... took its first flight *17 years after this game's timeline*

[@beamboy07]

as an 80 year old english man i can confirm we used 70s american police cars in the 50s

[@AAKalam]

Damn, grand pa is time traveler 😂❤

[@redcobraqc]

What did you guys actually use in the 50’s?

[@beamboy07]

@@redcobraqc a range of Austins mgs and rovers

[@beamboy07]

Also ford anglias and mini coopers

[@redcobraqc]

@@beamboy07 yea I'd imagine

[@boringpolitician]

5:36 - This sign says, "Støysone, bruk hørselvern". That's a Norwegian sign. In London. In 1953. The sign wasn't made until at the earliest 2000, but I'd say that's a 2010-or-later design.

[@kiddynamite1985]

Im norwegian! I saw it too hahah

[@caduhidalgo4996]

Everything that could be brought from the future within the context of what was being used as assets on the game, pretty much was! 😂😂

[@Spacemongerr]

Hahah, hilarious! For anyone wondering, it says "Noise zone - Use hearing protection", and the below it says "Helmet zone - Use protective helmet". At least the spelling is accurate 😄

[@TheArrowedKnee]

@@Spacemongerr Probably because it's a ripoff of a real sign, so they didn't have to do any actual translating

[@exp2745]

Perhaps this is the same approach Saudi Arabia took after lighting a decades-long ban on cinemas, with one of the first movies permitted in the country being the Emoji Movie. Try to convince your citizenry that movies/games simply are that appalling, and hope they'll stop nagging you for proper movies/games...

[@exp2745]

@ToumaFR. In December [2018], Saudi Arabia lifted a 35-year ban on commercial theaters, and this past weekend the first movie screenings were opened to the public. One of the screenings was a double-feature of The Emoji Movie and Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie in the city of Jeddah, Reuters reports.

[@Darkest_matter]

Bro the ban was on cinema, but there's still movies on TV and even a lot of anime with Arabic dub.

[@exp2745]

@@Darkest_matter I know, said the same in the original post. Iran also has games from other sources, joke still stands.

[@purpleapple4052]

Now I'm imagining an office full of guys wearing keffiyehs reviewing the Emoji Movie frame by frame to certify it is not haram

[@themodernfrontiersmen]

@@Tummamu They still have TV. In fact the WWE is huge there. When I deployed there in 2017 to train with the Saudi Army their dudes kept referencing the WWE, even giving us wrestlers nicknames.

[@埊]

this makes Pyongyang Racer be the best goverment game ever

[@arhamkhan923]

Actually it's America's Army

[@EBCgangLeader]

Pyongyang racer isnt even north korea it was made by a chinese airline company promoting travel to north korea

[@G-Cole-01]

@@EBCgangLeader only a chinese company would make a game promoting the concept of travelling to a bootleg of their own country

[@j01sonofsleazy]

wasn't pyongyang racer a flash game or something? EDIT: Yes it is a Flash game

[@TVisoutdated]

not gonna talk shit to Armerica whatsoever. but what he meant is about "Racing game" not games in general@@arhamkhan923

[@ewanedwards6822]

The lockpicking isn't the only thing they stole from Bethesda, the wild dog outside the detective's apartment was just deadass a wolf who came all the way from Skyrim to hang out outside a Tehrani apartment, the detective didn't have anything to fear, he could've just walked outside and punched the dog once, free wolf meat too.

[@D0NU75]

i think the "journalist"'s father is the osama model from Postal 2 (8:06)

[@Whitephosphorenjoyer]

⁠@@D0NU75if that’s true it’s the funniest thing in the game.

[@mintypot]

6:35 i love how the mother continued walking and didnt even glance at her child nearly getting run over by a speeding car

[@deletdis6173]

Negative fox given

[@TheUKNutter]

I can’t deny that the drawing cutscenes are actually decently made. Even if the writing in the speech bubbles are ruined with the 2nd most annoying font after Comic Sans.

[@SamP-by7iv]

>the detective thinking hes distracting the doctor and being sneaky >the doctor appreciating the detective helping while also doing his own job

[@v1x4z]

This definitelly should've been a point-and-click game as you've said. Heck, even a visual novel would've been much better, especially since the drawn cutscenes are actually decent.

[@Brahvim]

They could've gone with 3D graphics and still made an *_amazing_* point-and-click adventure, I agree! _Agent A for mobile._ Australian studio, I think ("Yak & Co."). Could've taken inspiration from there.

[@fallingwater]

7:44 I'd place a small bet that the room is the least optimised because _each one of those books is a separate brush_ and they all get rendered at all times.

[@stati5tik]

what do you mean by "brush"? They all have to get rendered every frame anyways. The problem is not rendering every frame, the main issue is how often draw()-calls are made. My guess is that they literally draw every model separately instead of utilizing e.g. hardware instancing resulting in many draw()-calls per model thus increasing latency due to bus. And God alone knows best.

[@fallingwater]

@@stati5tik just primitive shapes. Static models, if you will. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brush_(video_game)

[@yarpen26]

​@@stati5tikSounds like my typical algorithm at work... 🫣

[@TheCommunistRabbit]

​@@stati5tikin quake maps, a brush is basically a 'part' like in Roblox

[@Brahvim]

@@stati5tik Game looks like it was made with Unity. How was instanced rendering in Unity back then? Probably at least _possible,_ right?

[@LoStraniero91]

I'm Italian and I find these kind of games so fascinating despite how poorly they are made. This reminds me of Gioventù Ribelle, a commemorative game about the 150th anniversary of the Unification of Italy that was boasted to be made by the best Italian video game developers, endorsed by the Italian government and many other important labels... only to land as an unfinished demo made with UDK which kept almost all the original assets/sounds of Unreal Tournament 3, had glaring issues and you could actually shoot a T-posed Pope at the end of the demo. It was so glorious (sarcasm) that it was pulled out from the site in no time and they had to rectify it as a "school project made by some students". The head of this project, Raoul Carbone, also personally attacked any form of criticism, even going with these words: "If you can do better, you are welcome to try".

[@4ndr00med4]

This sounds like such trash. Did anyone try to make something better though? I wonder if someone cared enough to do so.

[@LoStraniero91]

@@4ndr00med4 there was another demo about the Capture of Rome made by an indie Italian studio called "XX: La Breccia". This one had more soul than the... ahem... game made by the best Italian devs. Too bad the studio never finished it, it was promising.

[@Piombo65]

I literally thought about that game when I read the title

[@shayanshafiee7987]

I'm an Iranian citizen. Sadly, the only game developers who get permission to publish their games are the ones that make games supporting the government's bullshit propaganda. And these government supporters aren't that smart. So... the result would be this mess of a game that as an Iranian, I didn't even know existed. We are under so much pressure from the rest of the world that we can't even legally purchase any game from steam, or any other platform for that matter. I know this pressure and all the sanctions regarding Iran are justified since the government is basically filled with corrupt people and terrorists, but it's not the citizens' fault since the majority of us are against the regime. A lot of Iranians love gaming, but we have no choice but to pirate the games that we love to play. I don't even know what the point of me saying all these things is, but I just wanted to vent, so don't mind me :)

[@thientuongnguyen2564]

Can't say I blame you or the people, but it's still funny to see the government shills who have not even looked at the game immediately call the video a "Western propaganda" or "Ukrainian psyops" when even people in poor countries can tell it's a PIECE OF TURD. Guess all that criticized the government-funded "game" are Ukrainian-American spies sent to "spy and destabilize Iran" or something.

[@googane7755]

Yeah you should pirate everything and enjoy what you can because there is literally no legal way to do so and the government certainly isn't going to do anything about it. Take care brother

[@kyubeycoobie3568]

Pirate all of that shit, if the US and thier allies wanted to make money they wouldn't use sanctions that only hurt the common people

[@JurzGarz]

As a student of history, I find it very ironic how the modern Iranian government exploits the memory of the 1953 coup (as in this game) in its propaganda. Mossadegh was a secularist who would’ve hated the current regime. In fact, much of the Iranian clerics supported the 1953 coup.

[@sersiniokyte5558]

Get out of there, mate.

[@terry2295]

2:56 That right there is the Skyrim Wolf model I'm like 90% percent sure.

[@Nachy]

I love learning about video games outside the common American, Japanese and European circles, whether they're good or bad. Like Vietnam made a COD clone named 7554 based on the Franco-Vietnamese War, and there's a Saudi Arabian-developed Uncharted clone that made some rounds some years ago like Unearthed. They're not particularly good but I love how they can be unintentionally hilarious, and kind of endearing in how they try to punch above their weight. Knowing a bit of history of this game, being funded by the government and in context of the blatant asset flips and direct copying makes it even funnier than just your typical Steam shovelware.

[@Darkest_matter]

That in battuta game was pretty good

[@huytungnguyen119]

Vietnam (or the company Emobi Games) even trying to made a sequel of 7554 called "300475" depicting the liberation of South Vietnam and ending the war in 1975, but later canceled due to production trouble and funding.

[@shawklan27]

Word

[@Nachy]

@@Darkest_matter It's rough but undeniably endearing, especially in hindsight on how much more worse games we get nowadays on Steam, and I genuinely wish they were able to fund and make the planned sequels/follow-up episodes for it.

[@Nachy]

@@huytungnguyen119 Thanks for the info! That's a shame they never got to finish development on it, would had been an interesting premise especially as it was going to be another game done in the POV of someone you don't typically get to experience with games.

[@cameronkabore9263]

not only is a 1986 car obviously out of place, but Caprices weren't even sold in the UK, nor does it look like a british police car

[@emberfist8347]

Yeah they have the black and white color of LAPD car.

[@rossbob5583]

1:23 “oh my god “ lol I want to see a postal game with the postal dude & this guy.

[@quotenpunk279]

My favorite explanation is that the people who made this game actually wanted to sabotage the gouverment and just burn money.

[@Zelosis_]

Watching the detective stand over the doctor swaying back and forth was so funny considering the content of that conversation and hovering over a dead body lol, I love these videos. How these got green lit is beyond me

[@seanfogarty5559]

I know it's awful, but the vibes are immaculate. Lynch is quaking in his boots.

[@lambda-m1676]

LYNCH? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

[@mrjigejig]

Nah Kane and lynch is a better game than this

[@abbas-aliibnmohammadal-nam929]

​@@mrjigejigLynch The fucking movie director

[@mrjigejig]

@@abbas-aliibnmohammadal-nam929 oh… my bad

[@jayargee492]

David Lynch could never make media as surreal as this shit

[@BallTickler420]

Those types of videos really remind me of the Homeschooling times during the covid lockdowns where me and my friends used to gift each other terribly looking games from the xbox store all the time lmao, good times

[@philbateman1989]

1.5 calibur? As in 1.5mm? 1.5 inches? 1.5 grains? That's either ridiculously tiny or comically huge XD The dude was either shot with the firearms equivalent of a grain of rice, or some kind of anti-aircraft shell.

[@idipped2521]

to be fair a grain of rice moving at 1200 fps would still hurt idk about killing though

[@emberfist8347]

Caliber means inches.

[@philbateman1989]

@@emberfist8347 So 1.5 inches in diameter? Three times the size of a .50 BMG shell? There wouldn't be a body left to examine with a shell that massive XD

[@emberfist8347]

@@philbateman1989 I think the video makes clear the devs know crap all.

[@wolfgang6517]

I like to imagine the devs just scammed the Iranian governament

[@arthurchadwell9267]

The crazy puzzles must have been designed by Umbrella Corp 's Persian division...

[@souvikrc4499]

Isn’t that basically the IRGC?

[@asteroidrules]

I found it particularly funny that they copied the lockpicking bit from Bethesda games, looks like they really just wanted to include as many minigames as possible. Also I really appreciate how you integrated captions into your video, so many people don't bother with captions at all but you did a great job including them in a way that enhances the content.

[@Curlyheart]

Nice pfp! :D

[@Satori-Automotive]

0:18 this voice acting sounds more like "step brother im stuck... oh step brother what are u doing?? :O "

[@d3fault1420]

nah, ive seen hentai with better VA work than this.

[@Anty_Praza]

Don't you dare to disrespect porn voice acting like that. This game isn't even close.

[@Moonstone-Redux]

​@@Anty_PrazaI have heard porn actors bust out lines so hard they could seriously give Eminem a run for his money.

[@PS-vt2ex]

Any kind of porn should always be clearly consentual content and some of it is just showing evil content

[@glork3202]

5:41 The sign on the door that says "Støysone, bruk hørselsvern" is in Norwegian, and translates to "[Noise zone], use hearing protection"

[@joshgiesbrecht]

Sorry, I can’t finish the video. Too many spoilers

[@Beepers559]

I don’t wanna be mean, but the voice acting for most of the characters almost sounds like someone put sentences through an ai program

[@redcobraqc]

You’re too kind for not wanting to be mean towards devs who don’t give a shit

[@SleekHeroo]

I'm happy that kind people like you exist because I fucking hate the voive acting in this game and I agree with the reply above me as I genuinely thought it was AI generated, then remembered its a 2015 game, the voice acting is so bad that anime dubs sound better than this crap

[@Majorwindy]

It’s so bad I thought it had been put in by the guy that made in this video - but I was sorely wrong

[@robloxlol672]

Wait AI voice existed in 2015?

[@Zzmaster_-mj2xv]

You should be mean here.

[@Sevenisko]

Holy shit, this game needs to be in a Just Bad Games episode! Because It's Just Bad.

[@brawler5760]

Fr fr

[@linkfreeman1998]

Dont. I just realized that his Hunt Down The Freeman episode was badly informed and made. Like using Half-Life: Source for footage of Half-Life for example. You wanna know how bad that episode was? The lead dev of HDTF (M3SA that is) , a fan of rerez, was so disappointed with the episode that he never watched any further episode again. Thats how bad it is.

[@superjesse645]

​@@linkfreeman1998Don't care. Now i want a JBG episode focusing on shitty Iranian games. I want to see what Adam and Shane have to say about Driving in Tehran and Sia's oversized plum of a face working next to a cheap realistic model of a TV star.

[@lambda-m1676]

​@@linkfreeman1998M3SA ia only the lead dev of the M3SA edition, a gameplay-fix

[@ZarrinaKhawaja]

​@@linkfreeman1998 well

[@SWEGTA]

I know point and click games tend to have a few bizarre puzzles that really make no sense, but you'd think a studio so familiar with creating puzzles would at least be competent at it. None of the puzzles in this game made a lick of sense. Not a single one.

[@eyeball226]

As a fan of adventure games, there's a certain mindset you adopt that means weird puzzles make sense in an adventure game context. But these are so bad that they don't even make sense to me.

[@schizofreniccunt1952]

holy hell Smegma is here

[@SianaGearz]

​@@eyeball226I thought the Gabriel Knight 3 cat hair puzzle wasn't entirely terrible. But some people call it responsible for the death of the genre. Well it wasn't good either.

[@2judahbosh]

yes swegta

[@billysastard-6969]

Why is Sweggie here 😭

[@commlasky6653]

6:55 Bro is an awful detective, he missed a clear case of insurance fraud

[@sdrvenom193]

As an Iranian,i apologize for this game our government has created

[@Windows11Official]

At least it was funny, unlike their next anti-Western game which is basically Battlefield rip off (and it's worse than 2042)

[@sdrvenom193]

@@Windows11Official true

[@UnfunnyDaffenDales98775]

@@Windows11Officialwhat it’s called 😂

[@Windows11Official]

@@UnfunnyDaffenDales98775 Revenge or something idk lol

[@hz3068]

​@Windows11Official bro, it's a cod ripoff

[@halfbakedproductions7887]

So, this looks like Mafia, crossed over with the Peaky Blinders TV show, crossed over with GTA San Andreas, crossed over with Broken Sword, crossed over again with some weird facsimile of 1950s London. Okay. The UK also never had police cars like that at any point in history, our police cars also only have blue lights. And to be fair, I've tried developing small games before. Third-person camera is a pain in the ass that will make you flip your desk, so my games were either top-down or first person. I never ever got third person working properly no matter what tutorials I followed and it wasn't worth the grief.

[@emberfist8347]

The color is wrong for the cars too.

[@domeen0gt895]

I hope there is more content like this coming, its really interesting hearing about niche games from countries outside NA or Europe or Japan

[@bitelaserkhalif]

3:14 the crash message indicates this game is made using Unity 3D Cities Skylines, My Summer Car has same error message

[@thirstyserpent1079]

Fun fact, Iran is now making an "Iranian Call of Duty" So they will be continuing the tradition of awful Iranian made video games xD

[@jordandino417]

I heard the game is called “Revenge” and the studio making the game (Kosar3D) has their own KZbin channel and…yea the game is vehemently anti-Western. Link (Not to promote their product, but to show this curiosity of the Iranian video game industry): youtube.com/@kosar_3d?si=DnWja58gCbNjg2Wl

[@british35]

Meanwhile the people have been pirating real CODs for years

[@mr0mooz368]

​@@british35it unfortunately stopped with the release of mw2

[@phoenixvance6642]

​@@jordandino417cod has a good sprinkling of pro-us military propaganda, so now we'll see a clash of who has better propaganda lmao

[@YeeHeee]

Whats the name of the game 👀 ?

[@fosty.]

9:29 are those the footstep sounds from Half-Life?

[@linkfreeman1998]

It is lmfao

[@gunmunz]

3:31 Holy hell Yakuza maps are bigger than that and that game you do nothing but walk.

[@BIackCadillac]

Finally a weapon to surpass "but can it run crysis" 😂

[@d3fault1420]

lol

[@kangsate3459]

Nah We have cities skyline 2 and alan wake 2

[@j01sonofsleazy]

and ksp2@@kangsate3459

[@Crazyfrench]

9:15 You picked the wrong house fool !!!!

[@sebastiancalderonpacheco8218]

HEY,HEY,HEY,HEY,HEY ITS ME CARL, CHILL, CHILL CHILL!!

[@akuaduck]

OOHH MY DAWG WHASSUP?!

[@sebastiancalderonpacheco8218]

​@@akuaduck hey men!, whats up men?

[@Gamerlight1023]

5:29 this shi had me on the floor for longer than this video

[@mindasguy]

Me too💀

[@Gamerlight1023]

@@mindasguy thanks for subscribing to me :)

[@heikkiaho6605]

2:04 you slide the newspaper under the door, and then you push the spoon in the keyhole, and the key on the other side of the door will fall on the newspaper, and you can pull it out. I think I saw that on Hercule Poirot or smth. EDIT: okay let me take that back, literally nothing makes sense in this game.

[@JohnnieJar]

How in the hell do you even find these gems. Also, a probably weird compliment I guess, I find your voice to be very soothing.

[@seP4]

was a big deal in iran

[@mrdorifto]

​@@seP4are you from Iran? Because that's actually so surprising lol especially with the content you provide. P.S. I live west of you

[@seP4]

ofcourse

[@angel.avila.]

When you told me you were from Iran I thought you were trolling me lol

[@Slimiz]

@@seP4vaghan?

[@oktayyildirim2911]

4:13 Caliber is a measurement of a gun's bore diameter measured in inches. That doctor just said the case belongs to a pistol whose bullets are one and a half inches WIDE.

[@oktayyildirim2911]

Also, I liked the video, but apostrophes shouldn't be used to pluralize. For example, the plural of "NPC" at 7:56 should be "NPCs".

[@angoankhachai9333]

For the non-inchers here, that would be 3.81 centimeters aka 38.1 milimeters. Man got shot by a fucking autocannon lmao

[@Ridiric]

was looking for this comment, when i hear 1.5 caliber bullet i was like.... so... 3X a .50 BMG, thats a 38.1mm bullet! guy got shot by a small cannon! or a medium to large autocannon!

[@fleebogazeezig6642]

Perhaps they looked at the .455 Webley, which in metric designation is 11.55, and removed the first 1 and last 5 and referred to it in caliber designation? Idk

[@jailbreaker1214]

No, Thats not how it works. Every 1 caliber equates to 1/100 of an inch. so 1.5 caliber is .15 inches or about 0.35mm. I am a firearms expert and people like you need to stop making crap up on things you dont understand

[@cmdAHYT]

Your on-screen text is not only funny and adds personality, but it also makes it possible to understand you for people who can't decipher your accent. Great idea!

[@Intrspace]

That "Dog" is actually just the wolf from Skyrim wtf

[@034k]

There is no way this game came out the same year as Batman Arkham Knight..

[@Joshtubeofficial]

Someone needs to remade this but with a ACTUAL budget. It has alot of potential

[@Carcassplier]

nigga learn how to talk properly what does "remade this" even mean

[@_Hamler]

Every idea has a "lot of potential" its the execution that matters.

[@Assfucker0001]

@@_Hamler not true at all 💀 shitty game ideas exist

[@Lunaticdoesdumstuff]

​@@Assfucker0001I have a question, I'm making a game called "toilet fighting simulator" on roblox. Does that have potential.

[@detective2221]

@@Assfucker0001 eh

[@speeder_106]

3:42 this scene killed me lmfao

[@advancetotabletop5328]

But the important part is someone got their kickback for the game after providing their best buddy government funds for the development. Thanks for playing this wreck and taking it for the team!

[@GOODYGOODGOOD789]

2:26 The game gives you two options and they both result in the same outcome… why does that sound familiar.

[@Mr.Malliquin666]

What are you referring to ?

[@GOODYGOODGOOD789]

@@Mr.Malliquin666 Most choice-based games (especially Telltale games).

[@oler777]

1:12 I mean who hasn’t done this we used to break into my friends house all the time with clean his house and then clean all the resin out of his bong smoke all the resin and then he come home and be mad that we smoked the resin, but he be surprised that his house is clean

[@charliekelly735]

To give them credit where credit is due, they put a lot of effort into it even though it's bad

[@Jeff_WeedEater]

The pause menu has more effort than the actual game 🥶🥶🥶

[@djungelskog2654]

the artstyle was impressive, it caught me off guard it's just the assets that are uh...poorly chosen

[@Darkest_matter]

​@@djungelskog2654I feel like they probably hired people who had just started college to make the game

[@ExValeFor]

Lol no

[@jasonwodarski4981]

Going through a rough patch right now and I haven't laughed like this in a while. Thank you

[@retrorapture4079]

@ 8:32, they really cranked up the bloom on that doctor. I'm surprised the main character can even look at him directly without shielding his eyes.

[@74oshua]

I lost it at "that caliber doesn't exist," lol. Very nice video!

[@MysticTheUnicorn]

Just to put this into perspective. This game was released the same year as Undertale, which was made by 2 people and a budget of roughly $51,000 through kickstarter and started development in 2013

[@mihaelkYeah]

2:42 Is that an internet Text to Speech voice modulated in post on the word "phone" to make it sound human?

[@FALG31]

All of the voices seem to be TTS

[@Morsmalleo]

8:04 - Ahhh nice and warm

[@revenant1994]

I sure do love steam melting my face!

[@CYTBlitz]

There’s a tiny part of me that wants this to be adapted into a film that is doggedly faithful to the original script, just to see the detective unlock a drawer by bouncing a metal ball off of the top of the desk.

[@FB3Network]

14:00 For those of you wondering the name of the AAA game he was talking about is, it is called "Safire Eshgh" (translates to "Ambassador of Love" in English). This is a third-person action adventure game very similar to Assassin's Creed, and the story takes place in the year 61 AH, and involves the "Mehran" of Ray, a Iranian man suffering from severe trauma. The game is very hard to purcahse as it is only available digitally on either GameUP or Hayoola, both of which are Persion / Iranian digital stores. The only way you can purcahse the game is to buy the game with Tomans, which is Iran's digital currency. And if you are unable to do that, then the only way you can experience the game is to watch videos of the game on KZbin.

[@tilenHD]

ahoy matey

[@drapermovies]

"Mum, can we get The Saboteur." "We have the Saboteur at home."

[@Genodesigners]

Bro the level of patience you've gone through is amazing 🤣

[@razkinzmangowurzel]

really enjoyed the vid. i like where this channel is going

[@RaptorJesus.]

*Dustborn has entered the chat.*

[@MisterBones223]

Dude... I'm solo developing a game. I often feel ashamed and disappointed with my progress and results. After seeing this, I couldn't intentionally make a game this bad IF I TRIED! This video really made me feel much better

[@epx5a65]

Interesting direction the channel is going but i am all for it

[@AAYMF]

1:46 + US cars in london 😊

[@deletdis6173]

😆

[@ahmadmalaki8364]

The problem with these foreign games is that they always tried to imitate bigger games like gta they probably would’ve made a decent indie game if they had a simple but effective idea rather than having multiple ideas that don’t work on a small budget

[@bellissimo4520]

4:57 - I like how the detective won't even take off his hat and trench coat in the bedroom...

[@RACECAR]

The hat stays on during naptime (and Hospital recovery).

[@aminDehghann]

I laughed so hard at 3:44. I'm an Iranian and I used to work in game development. Unfortunately the non existing gaming industry is as corrupt as it's government, I'm so glad that you are shining light at these disastrous games.

[@dasist9573]

One one the developer guys is here. Actually, they kept us in a basement, no food, no water.. I'm an ex navy seal. We had to do it.. I heard the voiceover guys had a better treatment, something like a proper toilet and food..

[@hoseinsafaei9920]

As an Iranian I will apologize to any poor soul who played this game it’s just propaganda made by the government to get support for their regime within the country

[@existentialselkath1264]

I thought this was an early 2000s original Xbox title or something until 50 seconds in... It released the same year as need for speed 2015! How?! (that's 2015 if you didn't know)

[@mahmoodalmahmood7014]

Because its always about knowledge and skills rather than technology. No matter how powerful your hardware is, without knowledge you cannot make decent games.

[@existentialselkath1264]

@@mahmoodalmahmood7014 that, and the technology they're using is super outdated. Idk what game engine it's on, but I doubt it was a current gen one. Even Unity looks better by default

[@andreworders7305]

3:54 oh, I’be played with one of these! Though if you’re goal is to get the ball, the quickest way to do that is to lose since the ball will roll down to the dispenser after you fail.

[@hareecionelson5875]

Very appropriate that the forger lives in a forgery of Carl's house

[@EdyAlbertoMSGT3]

4:14 1.5 caliber would be equal to around 38.1mm, if my math doesn't fail me. That's a canon.

[@JohnWilliamNowak]

Perhaps it's 1.5 cm, which would be a strange way to measure caliber. However, there do seem to be 15mm pistols designed to fire flares intended to frighten animals. They are called Scare Guns. Not disagreeing with you, and not suggesting the character was murdered with a firecracker, but it is funny.

[@Ridiric]

@@JohnWilliamNowak i mean there are also 40mm hand held grenade launchers and flare launchers as well, so... it could work if someone shot a solid slug out of one of those, but depending on the propellant load, it would either on the lower end just really freaking hurt but not seriously injure you, or on the higher end be unlikely to puncture your skin but be powerful enough to cause internal bleeding and broken bones. (by higher end, i mean higher end that is still fireable by hand, if you get into emplaced or mounted grenade launchers there are 40mm ones that would shoot right through a person and explode on the other side) Pretty damn sure whoever put that dialog into the game had no idea what 1.5 caliber is though, and probably thought that was a reasonable sounding size for a pistol projectile

[@EdyAlbertoMSGT3]

​@@JohnWilliamNowak To be fair, during WW2 some countries measured their canon caliber in CM. Soo there is at least a 0.1% chance our subject got murdered by a firecracker.

[@meysamghahremaninejad6809]

I'm an Iranian and I didn't even know this game existed! God! what a mess!!!

[@souvikrc4499]

And to make matters even worse, this was funded by the Iranian government.

[@commentaccessories]

the one nice thing i can say about this is the comic book-style cutscenes look pretty dope. tbh as one who likes playing terrible games out of curiosity i might have to give this one a shot at some point lmao.

[@Getcrustified]

"my hands are tied so hard" is one of the lines of all time

[@vaylintwilight]

Haven’t found any other KZbinrs that have covered these incredibly obscure, weird shitty Iranian games. Thank you ❤

[@alcerixxia614]

You should really do a compilation of all government made games throughout the years and rank them by their polish and gameplay. And America's Army will win no doubt.

[@diamondmetal3062]

Depends on what you mean by "Government-made", cuz even this game was made through independant devs that recieved government funding. In this case, the winner would definitely be Call of Duty.

[@alcerixxia614]

@@diamondmetal3062 I guess I should’ve worded as “government sponsored” or “government initiated”

[@emberfist8347]

@@diamondmetal3062 Call of Duty lacks any government funding. Activision is big enough not to need and many of the games have things the government wouldn't approve of.

[@diamondmetal3062]

@@emberfist8347 Actually, pretty much every Call Of Duty game in recent memory has been funded (at least partially) by the department of defence. This is because they know CoD is able to make soldiers and the military look badass. It’s for marketing, basically.

[@emberfist8347]

@@diamondmetal3062 Except it isn't really funded. Because for example Black Ops: Cold War airs dirty laundry about MK:Ultra and other questionable actions of the US government particularly the CIA during the Cold War and Modern Warfare II has an American general as one of the main villains.

[@bashu-f5c]

9:14 What an edit 🤣 You're genius dude🤣

[@fazailman9242]

yakuza series also have a tiny map, but you will never notice because the story and interactions are so rich

[@nobodyinparticular9640]

6:32 love how the dead guy is just an A-posing model lying flat on the table, lmao

[@deletdis6173]

Lol

[@cassieisnothere]

11:52 their right pupil is leaving their eye. it is escaping

[@dudeman4514]

"1.5 caliber" bro got hit with a whole ass cannon

[@thomasmacdonough288]

This looks like something my friends and I would've cooked up in Unity during Jr High, I wish I was a dev being paid hourly for 3 years on a project like this

[@WickedParanoid]

12:32 "But suddenly, a Postal guy appeared out of nowhere"

[@FCV0511]

1:42 - It's even worse. That's actually a 1986 model Chevrolet Caprice police car. Not to mention it definitely wouldn't be found in London.

[@StrangerApex724]

5:21 I just died after hearing him say "steal soup, give it to a homeless man to steal his CROWBAR"