The Worst Massage on the Planet

Asim Barber, AKA Asim ASMR, is the Terminator of the massage therapy universe. Owner of the KZbin Channel, Home ASMR Clinic, Asim Barber has quite the unorthodox massage style, cracking, popping, and slapping his clients as he goes. This strange cracking and popping ASMR does not seem scientifically approved...
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[@emaad-k]

The FBI should hire this guy to get info out of people

[@hazmatv7157]

Lol

[@soda4433]

imagine seeing this guy walk into a investigation. i would tell them every bit of information i have.

[@CypherNeo101]

Today sir, you're about to get a free massage. We'll talk about your informations tomorrow.

[@chumbue6537]

CIA*

[@Thestoicharbinger]

Extract information*

[@iameli7257]

he wasn’t giving him a massage, he was giving him brain damage.

[@emaaadsheikh8448]

Actually he had brain damage before picking that guy to massage him so actually he’s making it worse

[@boromirhimself7528]

You have to already have brain damage to agree to this massage

[@mayankmaurya8631]

I now want to open a massage center like him and give all people who were rude to me 100% discount coupons.

[@L8NiteShift]

It's a good tactic. He gives him brain damage so he wouldn't say shit the rest of the massage.

[@sumdude-named-lemon]

He just wants a like minded individual

[@domilontano]

As a licensed therapist myself, I've seen some weird shit; a lady in NYC does biting massage, in Florida there's a snake massage clinic, and in Japan apparently KNIFE massage is a thing. This one here goes right on top that freaky reject pile. WTAF.

[@camrpo]

What..

[@trams5592]

I too practise knife massaging

[@domilontano]

@@trams5592 That sounds terrifying. The scariest thing I use is my elbows.

[@domilontano]

​@@trams5592 What do your clients like about knife massage? I won't offer it myself, but I am curious.

[@beacontherabbit]

@@domilontano i dont think you getting the joke

[@tmob1325]

Customer: "hi I'd like a massage" The worker: "so brain damage?"

[@Twink-Gojo]

"Waiter,waited,I would like to have an aneurysm please!"

[@mayatheduck6682]

I think the only good feeling of this massage would be the feeling of relief when it’s finally over

[@augusttheduck]

You’re assuming a mortal could survive one of these massages

[@arct7980]

@@augusttheduck You would survive because we all know that you're immortal

[@frog5424]

This was hard to watch

[@HauntingHollows76]

@@augusttheduck lol

[@anomalyquacks]

@@augusttheduck Your friends with the algorithm? right?

[@D.HansonOfficial]

Plot Twist: The client is his daughter's boyfriend.

[@lanceingym4387]

😂😂😂😂

[@mikaaa2306]

Lmao

[@samufreestyleable]

That explains a lot

[@benb5124]

JESUS

[@springsnapped5435]

Wheeze

[@piddlewiz2488]

Can we all appreciate the dude in the chair actually surviving this?

[@phantomski1]

This guy is the definition of when you were a kid and you did the most random thing you could thinking it'd somehow make magic appear

[@atoxicperson6794]

Great massage! I did it to my brother and now he is so comfortable that he hasn't moved in weeks! Edit: Just realized he died

[@thedylan1956]

Noice

[@The_Runaway_wolf]

O h. N o.

[@viztusadronuru]

Oh-

[@aieza8767]

Glad it worked out!

[@Shadenxox6]

@@aieza8767 same

[@lawl6374]

He completely marinated that poor dude, now he's gonna cook him.

[@K1_SA.]

First he tried beeting his food and seasoned and was mad that’s he’s not dead

[@ickymouth]

tenderized to perfection

[@FedoraSpunk]

Marinated, tenderized, and even dominated his food first

[@user-rc7lr6cf2c]

вот для чего был нанесен удар по голове

[@user-rc7lr6cf2c]

@@K1_SA. Woah buddy, it’s beat, not beet, that’s a vegetable

[@fructosecornsyrup5759]

As a massage therapist myself, admittedly some of us can indeed find clients that want to have the shit beaten out of them. ...Some of the things he's doing though definitely require more than a massage license though. I hope he's also a chiropractor, or his clients can sue.

[@bigbomb5904]

I think he probably has them sign a contract before they get the "massage". That only makes sense, also I think he's in India or something. Maybe rules are different there and people dieing of massages are normal. lol

[@barasihombing1629]

Idk we dont rlly sue people here in asia for things like these

[@Codename_Horizon]

@@bigbomb5904apparently this is normal in India or some shit following the words of the wise comment section on another video.

[@lazylizard3602]

The technique he uses at 5:55 is actually pretty effective in energy work, a quick snap that will give release all the way to the shoulder.. but.. everything else looked like he was gonna break his arm >_< noo stahp pls for the love of god...

[@jerome_arceus]

Ye

[@glaidermason6870]

Ye

[@kelonealforn841]

Plot twist: The man tried murdering him but he just won’t die.

[@rotta4667]

Lol

[@squidwithsuperpowers6761]

This is what happens when you have too much plot armor

[@rotta4667]

@@nik0_0_0_0 you are lying

[@rotta4667]

@@nik0_0_0_0 no i was joking because it was on 69likes but I removed my like so it was 68

[@K1_SA.]

I think it’s true

[@magiclegume]

The reason that the dude’s eyes are never open, is that he’s unconscious half the time.

[@gregd8886]

The whole*

[@decKyo]

He definitely looks passed out

[@TheDemonx55]

That or he's trying to escape to his happy place

[@Twink-Gojo]

Or he's dizzy,the one where your half deaf and blind.

[@popcultureprogrammer2171]

5:30 looks like the start of an interrogation

[@cesargalvan8715]

This guy is like a caveman seeing how much pain he can deliver to a human being

[@jacobchavez6269]

Every time he stops you can see how he's thinking about the next way he's gonna abuse this poor man.

[@Hexdy]

Vinegar comes from the activity of the Mycoderma aceti bacteria that carry out the chemical reaction of fermentation of ethyl alcohol (wine) to acetic acid (vinegar), for this transformation to occur, the appropriate conditions of acidity pH, alcohol concentration, nutrients must exist

[@brrrr997]

@@Hexdy 😯 thanks

[@matj9105]

666 Likes

[@Blitzdo]

He probably thinking about his next terroristic plan to get this man "massaged" in to a disability and in to the hospital!

[@degdeg227]

@@Hexdy preciate it bruv

[@RoseHotel17]

This guy is tenderizing his next meal

[@YoutubeCommenter1st]

This comment is making me hungry. 😋

[@cholanvelmurugan3467]

this comment gave me a wheeze...

[@72extr63]

He also seasoned with the spray

[@dakotareid1566]

@@72extr63 brine* 😂

[@musicracer0519]

Hannibal lecter would be proud

[@puppymomma5455]

This is literally the shit my grandpa does to all 5 grandkids when we visit.

[@enderdittoanimations1349]

This...this is not a massage it's a straight up ritual🤣

[@suyogyaluitel8974]

The expressions he makes don't seem like a person giving a massage but like a serial killer.

[@skysight1553]

A failed serial killer

[@Rixardos_69]

Serial massager

[@siddharthbhatt9301]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jh.f30]

4:14 and 6:59 have me in tears.. also I think when he says #2 at 4:14 this is his second victim

[@walleyworld4362]

I love the close up zooms of the guys angry face 😂😂 he’s pissed because he won’t die 😂

[@royalkakarot3628]

For real that had me dead😭😭😂

[@beomgyusthighsofsteel6651]

say what you must and say what you will...... but I am highly entertained by this man delivering Mortal Kombat fatality moves to his clients. 😂

[@anartisticgent5867]

Moral of the story "never sleep with a man's wife, drink his last beer and then ask him for a massage"

[@danbrown3012]

Call me crazy but i found this relaxing to watch

[@cgamesp2721]

You are crazy

[@anbthree786]

It was, I doubt it was for the guy getting the massage tho

[@user-dm8iq3ms2w]

You're a madman

[@URBAN_MADNESS]

Same

[@tehgxn4902]

Oh give me a break that’s major 🧢

[@MatthewBaran]

As a massage therapist, this is a giant fuck no.

[@acero6969]

Just by looking at the video its already a BIG no

[@zepo8891]

The video seems like a bogus massage therapist who is likely to give you brain hemorrhage anyway. You dont really have to be a professional to know that, just by looking at it you can tell that it is completely dangerous.

[@hanabishaven]

This is the kind of massage where _you_ pay the customer

[@theHotpointHoodlum]

Just think of the angry HJ he gives at the end….

[@davidconrath6148]

This is the happy ending you get, when you don't tip

[@TheReturningGoat]

He does know some chiropractic moves But most of the time he's just beating the shit out of the guy

[@mikaaa2306]

@Crimson Outdoors Co. there's some

[@laary7589]

@@mikaaa2306 but are they done well?

[@soul_rbx]

@@laary758995% dogwater 5% good chiropratic

[@lillysparrow]

dude he was knocking his knuckles on his skull

[@footbEditzz1234]

It’s probably from my country lol 😂

[@RobErie325]

Dude he totally broke a piece off one of those back bowl things and continued to use it after sliding the evidence off his back. lmao 8:13

[@mechanic488]

7:10 look at his face

[@Smackeytime]

Plot twist: The guy massaging is actually a cannibal marinating and tenderizing his victim while also trying to kill him before grilling and consuming him

[@fiskk.1573]

That's not a plot twist, it's just speaking out the obvious

[@maisong9886]

And the brain and ribs seem to be his favorite parts

[@williamgeorge7492]

You can't tenderize live meat. Everyone should know that. SMH.

[@minkusyua5669]

he became a master of karate and then wanted to massage people

[@anomalyquacks]

Yeah thats why he probably has those weird angry face impression when he breaks a bone😂

[@minkusyua5669]

@@anomalyquacks On god xD

[@Caseohsaccountcoordinator]

He also used to be one of those barbers who keep spraying you on the head for centuries.

[@chrisdupuis2523]

"I'm tired of the violence, the fighting, I don't want to hurt people anymore I want to make them feel good!" 10 minutes later... "Damn muscle memory."

[@minkusyua5669]

@@chrisdupuis2523 xD yup

[@camrpo]

4:57 As a person with a hypersensitive ear due to a dog attack, this made me cringe hard.

[@kayden28677]

I feel bad for you

[@Crystal_Eclipse]

Nothing quite says relaxation than getting a concussion. I am convinced that guy was unconscious most of the video honestly.

[@Matteo-ke3db]

He is just doing random things, and seeing how much the poor guy can resist.

[@qutie424]

When the guy takes his shirt off the massage guy looks at him like “dang...he just won’t break!”

[@locomococo2988]

Takes the "He's just built different" to a whole new level

[@MBXfilms]

I started getting a headache at 2:15 just watching and listening to it...and knowing more was to come

[@Kang_ston]

I like your cut g 1:43

[@kvgames5]

you got the "ya" right

[@mayatheduck6682]

There’s just no way this is a real type of massage. It looks more like abuse. I don’t know how he doesn’t cry or even laugh.

[@justffff]

it does actually feel good, unbelievable as it seems.

[@hingadinga5694]

@@justffff wait, you’ve had this type of massage?

[@justffff]

@@hingadinga5694 only the head and neck part

[@al-saif_]

@@justffffmy mom has it and she says it feels good

[@hingadinga5694]

@@justffff huh

[@Aguyfrom225]

I laughed so hard. This has to be the best video you made yet. I am crying over here.

[@kwz9930]

Same XD

[@melaninqueen6926]

Me too 😂😂

[@lavendergold6379]

@@melaninqueen6926 I think this is massage from Craigslist

[@melaniepace1971]

Same here

[@terryaqualad6779]

@@lavendergold6379 bruh

[@MarcoS-eg6uj]

This is when your older brother tells you he had learned how to head massage

[@marthuds1784]

3:46 that kid in class be like

[@MrDrokkul]

"Did your stress massage work?" "Yes. I have all the stress I need now."

[@beomgyusthighsofsteel6651]

say what you must and say what you will, but I am highly entertained by this man delivering Mortal Kombat fatality moves to his clients. 😂

[@DiaborMagics]

This is so surreal. He probably caused a lot of damage to the brain, muscles and so on. He constantly looks angry and when he finished one move, he looked at the client like how can I torture him next?

[@footbEditzz1234]

It’s funny 😂 I know and it’s probably from my country 😂

[@marilynking4003]

I'm sorry, but I laughed all the way through this. The masseuse literally looks angry as he attacks him, and the guy doesn't appear to mind. I think he knew exactly what to expect.

[@AngelOrrandMore]

Same

[@GiorgioVongola]

Dude it's been forever since I laughed this hard, thank you so so much August!!

[@wasabij9496]

I think that dude is a regullar customer cause his spine is looking like an questionmark

[@rebitedon]

I'm more impressed with the guy in the chair. He took it like a champ

[@NecroBanana]

Plot twist: he's a masochist and had a boner the entire time.

[@AImighty]

He was knocked out

[@DrEnxy]

5:41 if i walked in and saw that i would call the cops

[@spuqe69]

3:20 Is he even alive?!? :DD

[@explosiveconverstaion_3337]

The guy sitting died two minutes after he started He's not alive anymore, the guy massaging him is beating him so he can cook him

[@zoro-fj3ic]

sussy baka

[@okinawa484]

I feel like this guy was forced against his will and he’s being tortured, did u hear how pissed he sounded at the beginning? He seemed like he just wanted to get it over with as soon as possible

[@gunk3407]

he felt so much pain on the almost breaking of the arm

[@pfffttt9563]

Idk, it would be very stupid to upload it then.

[@XavXavBoi]

not gonna lie, this is really really good ASMR sounds.

[@desireemacdonald1813]

Check out the channel ASMR Anil Cakmak. It is the same concept done gently and correctly. It is amazing and so relaxing to watch and hear.

[@caliginousshade3213]

Apparently, that massage is very similar to the ones done in the Indian subcontinent. Calm and relieving, not this brutal or dramatic or where the therapist stares at you to check if you're dead or not.

[@TheDeadTheories]

Aseem must be a good cook. Cause he’s certainly good at making vegetables

[@robloxtipshelper]

LMFAO

[@Healp145]

wdfwada twg

[@DarrylBishopDJFlavaz]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@tammyknickmeier4922]

Lol

[@ghostmanginasal1724]

A vegetable farmer who can also cook what he harvests

[@rinrin4711]

5:17 He was confused where to put his shirt but then realized he probably won't need it anymore.

[@DevourerOfLords]

Knuckle messages are a actual thing since the head can take a lot of abuse (as long as your brain doesn't rattle you're fine) but they are nowhere near this level of aggression

[@eggon_1345]

He's just tendering his head after marinading so he's ready to cook

[@aristocraticbane5862]

Mans brain was pinging around his skull. The scalp massage seems like the only pleasurable part of the massage. Wtf his arms are just getting yanked

[@mmarshy]

*giggles* im in danger

[@cac36]

When he yanks the arm it cracks some joints how ever I think he pulled a few out that can never be fixed

[@blursedvark4973]

This poor guy is getting clapped, literally.

[@That1Karen]

REWORD

[@eggnog7694]

i like how this guy looks does it like he is a pro at it but hes actually just doing hand signs he has learned from naurto

[@kinnikuzero]

His facial expressions is what sells it for me

[@dakindkid]

4:28 When the ketchup doesn't come out of the bottle.

[@Generik_]

👏👏👏 definitely one of them old school glass Heinz bottles!

[@williamblennlid5432]

Just imagine how many customers he would get if he was a girl.

[@tra.v]

Yep

[@sravan9931]

N o

[@4varaa4]

0.0

[@that_feech_fellow5878]

8 |

[@urlv.]

‍

[@UhhIdontknow]

4:50 I was expecting him to just punch this man

[@Crysiss]

I've never seen someone express so much passion and disgust at the same time before today

[@seb_grove2123]

6:29 cracked me up when he fucking smacks him with a bloody headrest. He tried to signature kill the damn guy lmao

[@projectmortal42]

W.W.E ultimate move :)

[@Billybobby79]

That lip curl too lmao.

[@umbreonhyperdream]

When he cracked his neck I legit thought I witnessed a murd*r 😰

[@mikeh3086]

I'm just gonna come out and say it, this is this guys kink.

[@Crazypixiness]

Yeah there's another video where he brings another old dude on and a shirtless younger dude and you can just TELL

[@geminitiger6778]

Hell yeah It is

[@Serliu]

Definitely

[@doggoo69]

Nice massage I did this to my dad because he said he was always stressed out now he had been asleep for a few weeks because he loved the massage a lot! Thank you!

[@cemsengul16]

I haven't had a laugh this great in a while. Thanks AugustTheDuck.

[@wolfsbane6793]

👀

[@princessbanana4625]

When he grabbed the head rest and hit the guy with it I lost my shit😂

[@juicy_juice]

4:13 Stealth kill +200 XP

[@RexlogGaming]

Nah bro 6:29

[@juicy_juice]

@@RexlogGaming lol that's even better

[@theunknownguy265]

😂

[@theunknownguy265]

@@RexlogGaming lol

[@framedsmoker7910]

Stealth level increased to level 100 after that one

[@sircrosar]

And now im getting recomended massage videos along with his channel

[@texasred5250]

He makes you feel good after the visit. He makes you happy it’s over.

[@darkkiller5861]

Parts you might wanna skip: Almost neck snap: 4:14 - 4:17 Shoulder break??: 6:06 - 6:11 Arm dislocation: 7:09 - 7:11

[@DarrylBishopDJFlavaz]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@dionjr21]

Yup, lamo

[@alanchavez8794]

😂😂😂😂

[@grass7590]

Closed my eyes when I saw he was going to crack his neck lol

[@Produmb2]

This looks like what a 3 year would do as a “massage” for chore money

[@UnitedGaming420]

My wife is a massage therapist. I showed her and one of her partners this video and the look of terror on their faces was priceless.

[@trixie__trixxster]

Question, is it bad that I was cry laughing through the whole video?😂 And I literally only got 1 minute in before my laughter started😂

[@jordanfletcher8670]

When he popped the elbow backwards I almost threw up like I could feel it

[@christianktb1952]

Rip when he wakes up in the morning

[@walterhartwellwhite5655]

i dont even wanna think about it

[@tehbucketmaster]

he won't wake up in the morning

[@khalil42]

@@tehbucketmaster from internal bleeding LOOOKLkJsshaibaHHVJFJ

[@gottalivehappy]

@@tehbucketmaster no actually

[@kookythespooky]

@@tehbucketmaster LOL

[@sprigatoni]

I feel like it's so unsafe to be doing this on a spiny chair. When I see my actual chiropractor who works in a hospital and not a barber shop, I'm completely stationary on a little padded bench.

[@jaybruz.5688]

the video cuts where he asks if he want "happy endings sir, yes" lmfao

[@JpodTM]

okay to be honest some of that looked relaxing but also wtf

[@Naruto22215]

There's plenty of relaxing moments. It's the hard slaps and smacks that don't really do it for me.

[@neneyashirothegirlwhoevery8022]

The cupping was relaxing I'm my opinion

[@jasonbraakman2893]

The concussion stunned him

[@songananvashum8668]

Nope

[@emoneydev8684]

Yea

[@MagentaUnicorn]

Holy f*ck this guy is super underrated

[@blackpantherepic3104]

Imean your right lol

[@MagentaUnicorn]

@Akioki Nakamura yes

[@9xscopePlayzYT]

@@MagentaUnicorn not anymore

[@MagentaUnicorn]

@@9xscopePlayzYT 😃

[@hamzaaslam10]

He would have the most creative fatality in Mortal Kombat.

[@CharlesDavenRMina]

That: "Are You massaging him or marinating him?" Had me rollin' _😁😅_

[@kittyprisoner3057]

2:43 why did I start laughing at that ‘okay’

[@jookthethird8199]

watch whens hes got 100 mil subs ill still be on his side go ducks

[@walsterburns450]

Yeah

[@tintinaytung]

Ducks for life

[@jesuschrist1817]

Same

[@tsukishimas_pipsqueak]

This was the only time i though oh thank god when the ads were on I could almost feel the pain😂

[@firerblx8062]

im dying of laughter while eating cake i almost chocked august u owe me a apology for chocking me

[@kickless7776]

4:16 Me: His not gonna snap his neck Guy: *Proceeds with murderous look in his eyes

[@durpman4896]

Nicely done agent forty seven

[@snox_17]

Is that even legal to to chiropractic massages (cracking bones) when you’re not a chiropractor ?

[@knowledgeispowermediaprodu7094]

Yeah, y'all think that's bad? The 7:00 mark is TERRIFYINGLY TERRIFYING!!!!!

[@ElysetheEevee]

@@snox_17 To be totally honest, I'm super leery about chiropractors doing shit like that as well. They're in this kind of gray area of medical science where it's based on legit ideas but they aren't all properly trained to be messing with specific areas like they are (such as the neck). A lot of accidents happen because of this.

[@snox_17]

@@ElysetheEevee Damn didn‘t know that thank you :)

[@mathiasjensen8377]

Why is no one talking about the fact that he is wearing a shirt with himself on it about to give a smack down?

[@leonardoelbuzo131]

Ah yes, just the kind of tingles I need 😌💤

[@SaigoNoTanukii]

This will be new punishment method handed by the court for assault

[@JJ-iv1ej]

The looks he gives him has me wheezing 🤣🤣🤣

[@Ebizzill]

I mean why's he looking at him like that . Omg!!!

[@0nlytati.2x]

Right😭😭😭🤣

[@zerocat888]

When you try to massage your ex be like:

[@dad49998]

At times, you can literally see the evil in his eyes. This is just unlawful.

[@fullmetaljacketlvl5735]

I’m surprised I made it to the end without dying of laughter

[@backtocapalot5097]

you can become a professional boxer or a “professional massager” to get out your anger

[@fazedev4332]

3:58 this got me 😂😂

[@vardaankhosla810]

This is actually how the street vendors do it in India Its like a particular old school style of massage Feels better than it looks lol Barbers do it a lot

[@Homo_heidelbergensis]

7:00 How Karens (male and female) stare at their victims before they attack.