Have You Lost Your Passion as an Adult?

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

I would love to hear from you about this subject. Can you relate to losing yourself as an adult? Share your story with us in the comments. Also, thank you to Skillshare for supporting my channel. The first 1000 people to use the link will get a free trial of Skillshare Premium Membership: skl.sh/thedailyconnoisseur04211 Have a great rest of the week, everyone. Love, Jennifer

[@julieszabo9989]

I lost myself for a while after my mum passed away and binged on chocolate, ice cream and Netflix to process the grief. Once I realized I wasn't happy and had let myself go, I made a decision to get my health back. I'm doing really well and am feeling better than I have for years. Your channel has given me so many ideas on how to develop my homemaking skills and live life. Thank you!

[@elizabethshittu3275]

The fact that you called out the ways we entertain ourselves as the critical thing that makes us complacent and keeps us from doing things for ourselves is so insightful. Often, as a mom, light entertainment feels like a treat and it can be so hard to admit that our treat is really destroying us instead of feeding us.

[@angelicadelgado8891]

I think that when we have children we need to let some of ourselves go to focus on them and in their development. The beautiful thing is that that period is short and then we are able to “pick up the pieces” and focus again on ourselves. I had five children in six years and my life was extremely busy with them and my husband as the center of my universe. But they are grown now and I am back at being just my husband, able to do things I love. But I can tell you that I was extremely happy and I truly enjoyed those busy, noisy years so much! There is a season for everything, and I believe if we can give our best to the season we are living at the moment, putting aside some or even most of our own desires and needs, we soon find ourselves and it’s even better because we had given the best to our children when they needed us the most! But I love the way you help us become more balance, not as extreme as I was, a truly better way to actually enjoy what we need to do at the present time, to put our family as our priority and still take time for ourselves. We can give more when we are full, and learning to fill with what we need to do now is such a good, smarter way of living! Thank you so much for the inspiration you have given me. Just doing the monthly challenge fulfills my “me time” and it doesn’t take me away from my responsibilities! Thank you thank you Jennifer! I would have been a better mom and wife if I would have practice what you suggest here! Thank you!

[@rhondaowens837]

What has changed my life as a Christian is the revelation I live for Christ and my true joy is serving Him. Living each day for His glory changed everything. He gives me strength to keep going even in the mundane moments.

[@ShesMakinDough]

So very true ! My passion and my purpose in life is truly HIM !!

[@karennoske3008]

Thanks for sharing your testimony, Rhonda! Amen!!

[@joannas928]

Rhonda I totally agree with you.

[@angelwings2977]

Amen 🙏 I totally agree! When I get frustrated and overwhelmed my precious Lord reminds me I’m serving Him as I serve others with joy through out my day. I also take alone time for me to connect to myself and the Universe. Amen 🙏

[@bluewillow4985]

Thank you for sharing that! Sure helps keep perspective.

[@brookesmith7359]

As a teenager, my parents had no hobbies of their own and I just came to the conclusion that grown adults watch TV from dinner time until they go to bed. My husband had much the same experience in his house. When my husband began a graduate degree while still working full time, it left me with a lot of alone time in the evenings and after weeks of just binging TV, I started to get (irrationally, maybe) worried that my husband was growing and learning and I was still the same person and would we drift apart? So I bought some inexpensive water color supplies and started watching KZbin tutorials. It made me feel like a PERSON again, not just a mommy. Also, thank you Jennifer. I found you only a few months ago and asked for your books for my anniversary. You have given me permission to be my true self. I felt pressure to be a “dumbed-down” member of society (especially from a few family members) but now I feel included in a group of women who are refusing to join that group. It’s liberating!

[@Babesinthewood97]

That's fantastic. I agree. Learning and making progress with something, really makes me feel more like a person as well. I think that having potential that isn't being used is depressing. Good decision.

[@meh5069]

If you don’t already, I’d highly recommend the “homemaker chic” podcast! They cover these topics and how important it is for us as moms and homemakers to constantly be putting our hands to something. Water color painting sounds so soothing!

[@HelloDecember525]

💗💗 this. Thank you.

[@angelwings2977]

The Lord led me to stop watching TV 3 years ago and it’s been such a blessing cause the shows were not filling my soul but draining and stressing me instead.

[@louise5941]

Such an interesting observation - just started watching a Netflix series called schitts creek and I am finding that I feel like that! Xx

[@AMcDub0708]

SAME! ❤

[@Haley_Wozniak]

An apron has been a game changer for me. I never saw the point wearing my nice clothes as a stay at home mom. Most days now, I put on an actual outfit. It's such a mood lifter when you are actually dressed and ready.

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

This! Yes!

[@kristiLB93]

This is sooooo true! An apron save me and preserved my love for fashion!!😄♥️

[@cashby1425]

Same here! I put on a fancy dress for Easter as I cooked, baked, served and ate the meal. My husband commented that he appreciated it! I felt so good I will do it often. Several aprons have sat in the lowest drawer in the kitchen and I rarely ever used them! I learned how to sew (via KZbin videos) last year and I plan on making a real pretty new apron soon!

[@reneeguthrie2192]

Making a daily menu of what I want to accomplish helps me get through the day...even if I don’t get them all done at least I have something done. 8 weeks until I retire...great advice you really nailed this subject!

[@MostlyCaffeinated]

"I just want somebody to talk to me like I'm a person, not asking me for something." ----> and people wonder why moms are the way we are. 🤣

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

We're not vending machines! haha

[@angelwings2977]

I can do resonate with this as a homemaker and housewife. Ty

[@luba-healthywithluba6866]

Sometimes we non-mothers can feel this way too. Often people talk to us only when they want something.

[@angelwings2977]

@@luba-healthywithluba6866 me too!

[@anneworks]

@@luba-healthywithluba6866 yup!

[@irishlizzie]

I got married at 21 before finishing college so I didn't actually get a chance to have real passions, other than books and singing in a choir. I had 6 kids, moved about 13 times in 12 years but once we moved back to our home town and my youngest was 2 years old I suddenly became passionately interested in decorating my house. I'd always let decorating go, or rather it never happened, and I let myself go during those long baby years. But about 3 years ago I started reading again, and found passion in gardening and in decorating. Being a homemaker is now an art, thanks to you, and Inspired by Nikki. You both helped me to see that what I am and what I do can be beautiful.

[@JaneILynch]

This sounds so much like what I was going to post. I married 3 weeks after I gradual from college and had three wonderful children. I was lucky enough to stay home almost all the time they were little- until I had a bitter divorce and financial ruin wham my youngest was 14. I had to get back in the workforce and worked a lot of soul-sucking admin jobs to make ends meet. My precious parents both died in 2018 and blessed me so I don’t have to work except when I want to as a Weight Watchers coach. I truly can’t remember any passions or hobbies! But I adore homemaking and decorating and cooking. Love it! And my sweet second husband does too. We are so happy.

[@auntyjo1792]

I think creating a beautiful home is not really compatible with looking after very little children! Definitely something that develops with time.

[@BiancaH1120]

Im very similar, i had my first child in my last year of high school so i have always been a mum, i never discovered a passion or hobby purely for myself. For now, my children and husband are my passion. That child is now 14, and I have little babes, maybe when theyre older something will come to me. The baby years definitely makes it a bit tough to find the time

[@susanflowers1195]

I have never really had a dedicated hobby but then I learned what I like and know with the right timing etc... will I become or get good at something. We must learn consistency and I know that distractions are your worst enemy but to recognize your potential is the beginning to prosperity

[@Ascension1004]

This video was definitely a tear jerker for me. My life has completely changed due to my divorce. We weren't able to conceive during our marriage, so now I'm all alone again and wondering what's next. I deeply wanted a family that I could pour my heart into, but for now I am forced to pursue a different lifestyle for survival. I'm going to take your advice and pursue old hobbies that I used to enjoy. Hopefully that will bring me much needed comfort. Thanks for your videos. They are so encouraging.

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

I am rooting for you! Much love ♥️

[@MsSilverkate]

Now is your time. To do the things you want. Without comprising with someone else. Foster parenting could give you an outlet to mother on kids who need it badly. Foster parents are at an all-time low and kids are going to group homes instead. You don't have to give up on creating a family. Just because you are unpartnered. Take time to love you and be your own best friend.

[@Ascension1004]

@@MsSilverkate thanks 😊

[@karennoske3008]

Praying for your comfort, dear friend. May I tell you something? My mother was unable to conceive, which I'm sure she thought was a terrible thing. However, my parents adopted me (and 2 sibs) and if not for her inability to conceive, I would not have had the loving family that I did. I hope that you will try to trust that God has another plan for your life and that it is a good one. (I suffered a divorce, too, so I have been where you are.). Blessings and prayers.

[@kimberlyperrotis8962]

My deep sympathies, I wasn’t able to have children, either, and am now divorced. It isn’t easy, but we have to rebuild our lives.

[@deezahm9143]

🌷Thank you for this, Jennifer. So very timely for a lot of us I think. Don’t forget women over 55 - I’m 65, was divorced after 35 years of marriage, lost my career to his, centered my life on my one son (who gave me 3 precious grandsons, but they moved far away), and pretty much unemployable because all of a sudden, older people can’t do anything! Ugh. And being on fixed income limits what I can do and things I used to enjoy. And honestly, it’s hard being a woman alone. Then COVID hit, and it amplified loneliness and my giving up on my passions. I hope my “tribe” of us in our older years can listen to you and get back that passion - I know I plan to!! 💕🦋🥰

[@JaneILynch]

I wish I lived near you! We could go for coffee. We have a lot in common...

[@giancolabird]

Exactly right, I have similar situation.

[@AMcDub0708]

@@JaneILynch perhaps the two of you could penpal

[@elizabethdavis3417]

I am amazed and so grateful that you even thought of this topic, so different than most. Tearing up, and saying yes out loud to everything you say. Stay at home mom of 5 who used to be an artist, youth minister, musician, and language teacher. I would not trade my 5 children for the world, but yes . . . I hardly know who I am . . . But I sure want the kids to know I can do more than cook and clean and diet! Thank you for this. God has blessed you with an immense gift to share.

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

I'm so glad, Elizabeth! Thank you!

[@belindahall5220]

There is a season for everything... make time for yourself. Your family will benefit ad well:)

[@reginasemenenko148]

My husband is from Europe and he said in Europe people work to live and in America people live to work. He said that although he loves America, he often feels like things move so fast and it's hard to slow down and be present. I don't like working 12 hour days in a demanding nursing field job, but I do it because my husband doesn't earn enough to support our family. I've given up many of my hobbies and interests, but I know I need to make some better choices about how to use my time.

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

I find this sentiment to be true too, Regina. I have to remind myself that work isn't everything.

[@kathleensaenz4717]

@Regina Semenenko. Yes, we lose ourselves working 12 hour shifts caring for others. Purposely take time for yourself!!! My friends have been harping on this to me for years. I was basically 'trained' at a young age to serve others. I am now trying to refocus before it is "too late." (It is very difficult!) I have challenged myself to change. Hope you will do the same. Be blessed. Be safe. Nurse Kath 💗

[@melianna999]

your husband is right, in my country in Europe I worked 7am to 3pm and had plenty of time in the afternoon. When I come to Australia I worked 12 hours 3 shifts. Forgot about my hobbies.

[@Cya897]

God’s nudging me through your post. Thank you. The greatest ambition I have for myself right now is waking up before my 5 kids and drinking coffee and praying before anyone needs me.

[@jodycourt]

As a mom of five children and homeschooling back then, I made a point to take 10 to 20 minutes each day to do something I wanted to do. I taught myself to sew and if I could just cut out the pattern one day, that's what I did. Or if I could only hem a dress, I did that. I also took a half hour a day to walk. Walking gave me room to think my own thoughts or pray or just have a blank mind with no voices asking me things. I was able to connect with nature and it felt good in my body to walk hard some days and meander on other days.

[@christiejean2653]

I turned on your video after finishing today's spring cleaning and my 5 year old said, "mommy is that the ten wardrobe lady?" Lol I said yes baby but she's much more than that :)

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

I love that! I'm glad I'm more than the ten-item wardrobe lady 😍

[@christiejean2653]

@@TheDailyConnoisseur you certainly are!! You inspire us in so many ways

[@MarysNest]

Hi Jennifer, You are just too cute!!...I’m hiding in my bathroom so you know this will be good... I remember the days when I was in my 50s with a 10 year old, my husband worked very long hours, and I was the primary caregiver of my aging parents (my dad had Parkinson’s and was in a wheelchair). I had to chuckle when you mentioned appearance...I’m not sure I ever had a style but I definitely didn’t have one then! 😂 In any event, I may not have had much time for myself, and at times things were very challenging, but in many ways they were also some of the sweetest times. Then before you know it, you are all through it, children grow up and move away, husband’s retire, parents pass away, and then suddenly you have lots of time on your hands. It’s an amazing journey. Sometimes when you are in the thick of all of it, it can be nice to just sit back, take a deep breath, and embrace it. Thank you so much for all you share. Your videos are such a delight to watch. Love and God Bless, Mary ❤️🤗❤️

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

Your comment puts it all into perspective, Mary! That will help me in the day-to-day grind. Much love xx

[@MarysNest]

@@TheDailyConnoisseur - I have to share that your video really had me reminiscing and brought tears to my eyes...but in a good way! I once heard someone say...live a good life so that when you are old you can look back on it and relive it twice. Isn’t that just so sweet!! Thank you again for all you do and share. You bring so much joy into my life ... and I really hope I get to meet you in 2022 so I can give you a big hug!! Love, Mary❤️🤗❤️

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

Thank you! I would love to meet you too! We will one day! Hugs 🤗

[@ernestineframe7286]

I already know this, but I guess I just needed to hear this from someone else to give me permission. I have been a widow for 3 months now, going from a fulltime caregiver for many months or years. One of my friends advised me that now I need to reinvent myself. I need to discover who I really am after spending over half of my life as a married person.

[@rainyday7517]

"I used to love...." that makes me feel sad. I have five children and homeschool. I think this will be a good journal prompt.

[@simplylain4893]

This video is so timely for me....I used to play the cello and had to stop due to money and for years said that once I have a good job I was going to buy myself a cello and play again. Well I finally am able to get a cello and found a friend of a friend selling a beautiful one (just a week or two ago) and I keep waffling on whether to go for it because I have a very active toddler and felt like what’s the point now? I’m going to go for it.

[@minnowx7099]

Absolutely do it! I started playing the cello 5 years ago and I love it. I have a very stressful busy job and it gives me something that makes me feel creative and time to be me! There is a facebook group called mid life cellist for adult learners which you might enjoy. It makes you realise it is never too late!

[@marypearson1155]

I encourage you to do it. I play piano, but went years without one. When we were able to buy one, I was very busy with a large family and homeschooling. I usually found myself playing when my stress level was higher at the end of a busy day. I would play sometimes when supper was on hold waiting for hubby to get home. He often could tell the kind of day we had had, by my music selections. Recently one of my adult daughters told me that my playing as they were in bed waiting to fall asleep influenced for her love of music and desire to play. She says it was one of the most special times of the day for her. We are not a musically talented family but 5 of my 7 children picked up instruments and still get personal enjoyment from playing.

[@donahazelwood9263]

I left my job in 2016 to take care of my mother. She had late stage dementia. She passed away in 2018. I have been rebuilding my life since. At one point, I didn't want to do anything but just sit and stare into space. Happily, I am on the other side of that.

[@kathleensaenz4717]

@Dona Hazelwood. Bless you for being such a devoted daughter. Yes, it is difficult to get 'back in steph's with your former self...take it one step at a time. Love yourself. Be blessed! Nurse Kath 💗🌻

[@jaybee8094]

Thank you very much. My husband passed away suddenly last year at 70. I am 68. I am having to rebuild my life alone and my passion has faded.

[@Discordia5]

I've never clicked on a video so fast. Just reading the title made me tear up, because the answer is YES! You helped me so much with depression in 2019, so I can't wait to see what you have to say about this topic.

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

We are rooting for you! I hope you can incorporate some of your passions back into your life this year...

[@sharonreuwer2482]

@@TheDailyConnoisseur TV

[@sibongilethwala7080]

The whole video resonated with me but when you spoke about signs of giving up it was eye-opening that it's totally me. I didn't know I'd given up.

[@danielleb6064]

I lived stagnant and in a rut for almost 8 years. Gained weight, lost weight, gained it all again. Lost control of my home making. Lost the spark from my relationship. ... lost myself. Through several years of exploration, meditation, examination, and deep work on myself, I am FINALLY nurturing an inner spark that is starting to grow. All this alone time during the pandemic actually helped me in this journey! This is a timely and needed video, Jennifer! Thank you!

[@mgmoore08]

I’m going to go play play my piano right now- so life giving and I rarely do it! ❤️

[@alexandraeverafter1015]

I started playing the piano again last summer. I had thought about going back to the piano but had not had the heart to go back because I was an undisciplined piano student as a student. Practicing was torture for me, and when I could not play a piece right for the first tine, I automatically thought I was bad at it. With an improved attitude and increased appreciation for music, I took the plunge and discovered that I love practicing now. I have not missed a day of practice (even if it is 5 minutes long) since June 27 of last year. I am astonished at the progress I made, from playing kiddie pieces to racking Chopin now. Good luck in your piano practice!

[@freesimorgh]

Can you please make a video about how to make life exciting and not have a boring life? I have been having existential crises lately and definitely need your help! ❤️

[@jennifermason1848]

Great idea!! Thank you for this video, Jennifer.

[@paulajohnson7075]

If you get a chance, watch Jennifer’s other videos. She shares how to make your reality beautiful and “not boring.” A lot of it is attitude. Yesterday, in texting one of my young adult grandsons, I asked him how his work was going. He said, “Just like playing in a huge sandbox with big toys.” He is currently working on a farm, moving and dumping gravel. I told him I was glad he enjoyed his work. He replied, “It’s good to enjoy what you do. I could easily hate it but I’d rather just enjoy it😄” There you have it! 😊

[@freesimorgh]

@@paulajohnson7075 which video exactly? I try to enjoy my life but the small doesn’t satisfy me.

[@paint_freckles]

Looking for the same video

[@bryzalpha]

As a homeschool mom, I fought hard to keep one or two of my dreams and passions alive. I am so glad I did that. Last year, my youngest graduated. I honestly feel excited and yes, overwhelmed, at the new possibilities I now have before me.

[@karennoske3008]

I haven't lost my passion, (it's probably behind the sofa cushions, like everything else) but it's certainly been laid down a few times during the pandemic! Now that I'm retired, I know I'll have more time to pursue my music, writing, and serving others...but for the moment, I know God has me in "pause" mode so I don't just get busy without listening to Him. I loved this video and will be sharing it with others. Heartfelt and helpful, as so many of your videos are, dear Jennifer!

[@TheChristina77]

Dear Jennifer As I am listening to your video I am sitting in my car after dropped off my son at school and started to tear up...thinking about myself....my dreams...haven't thought about it for a long time. Thank you Jennifer 😊 💓 you always inspire someone(me) on the other side of the world 🌎

[@C12133]

I ❤️ this video, Jennifer! I’m 60 years old and I’m still asking “when is it my time”. I must have already had it but I missed it!! 😉Thank you for being so insightful and talking about this!! 😍

[@kathleensheridan9401]

I'm Kathy, too, and I just turned 60 in April. I need to find a hobby to take my focus off my anxiety. It's not too late for us. 😉❤️

[@savannahbanks]

I’m older but feel the same pain.

[@katefriend4085]

Speaking of passions, my neighbor is loudly fixing up a 1960's Volkswagen while I watch this. It's noisy and scares the bunny a little, but good on him I guess? My partner has been spending the last few months playing with chemicals. He comes in from the garage at weekends describing the reaction he's trying to get, and I'm like, "what are you trying to make? What is the end goal of this reaction you're trying to achieve?" And he looks at me completely confused, which I think is cute! Jennifer, your _Madame Chic_ books hit me at the right time in the right place and changed my life, and I thank you. I've been supervising my kids' school-from-home the last ~18 months like everyone else, but our kids are back to school 4 days/week now, and I'm trying to get back to the stuff I actually like to do. Today I spent several hours copying a poem into my reference journal (Gerard Manley Hopkins' _The Wreck of the Deutschland_ if you're interested), I felt up to my elbows in marvelous, uncanny words, it felt like a bath or a cleansing rain. I needed it. At some point I might have the presence of mind to write for myself again. I had to put off watching this till today, but I'm glad I did. Thanks for the things you do!

[@Prague4Introverts]

First like, first comment, and the answer is NO. I have not lost my passion, I've only redirected it. I think it's unrealistic to be passionate about the same things your entire life. Thank you for this video.

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

That's so great!

[@ericagoehring1089]

As a teen through my 20s, I loved martial arts. I reached second degree black belt and taught Taekwondo to children. When we had our third child, it felt like too much. I thought I lost that part of myself. Five years and 2 more kids later (and several big moves), we found a karate studio that had a hefty family discount. It was a wonderful fit. Two of my children have black belts now! I love sharing my passion with my children, and karate is the perfect workout for me. I feel exhausted and happy after every class. On Saturday, I am testing for my (new) second degree black belt, and it feels so gratifying to back at this level of training again.

[@tori9951]

I grew up knowing my Dad loved classic rock music and going to concerts and my mother loved decorating and making our home cozy. It’s funny how we remember when our parents enjoyed themselves. Working a job that isn’t creative can be hard, I have one. So I try to find time to do the things I love when I can, but I have found that finding passions that include my family is easier, my daughter and I love to read books, find new places to walk and discover and plan little day trips, she practices drawing and has followed KZbin videos and done really well, she wants to learn an instrument- skill share might be great for her to do just that. Passion comes and goes I find in my life, I adore reading but each time I got pregnant I lost my passion for it for a few months, but I always picked it back up. Now I have been into biographies and I have found so many wonderful ones. The only passion that hasn’t faded is the love for my family, working on my children’s hearts and helping them being kind, thoughtful and hard working has been my new passion. This video was lovely, thank you for creating it.

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

Yes! It's fun to think back on our parents and what they loved. Love how you spend quality time with your daughter!

[@Chelseyandfam]

I gave up social media (all of it) about 5 years ago. People still ask my why I’m not on Facebook, etc. I tell them I used to be and I was spending 1-2 hours a day (not all at once!) looking at it and it wasn’t good for me, so I quit it. Honestly the one of the best ideas I’ve had! Right now I am struggling because in January I left a job I loved, but was stagnating in, to be a SAHM. I have also been taking classes the past year to get my degree in sonography and I needed to focus on that more. I am so surprised at how hard being at home every day is for me mentally. And some days it feels like I’m accomplishing far less around the house than when I was working. I think the covid lockdowns haven’t helped, since I can’t go a lot of the places I used to with the kids. Anyways if you read this far thank you! And any advice from anyone is appreciated ☺️

[@innapopov4071]

Hi Chelsey! I’m a stay at home mom of three children, and I’ve also quit social media back in 2014. What helps me on a daily basis is to become as professional as I can get with anything I do. I like to schedule my week and days, and anything I do, I treat it as a real job where I’ve got to be best I can! I leave Saturday completely free, that’s the day we can sleep in, go somewhere and plan something fun. I also love hosting and having friends over, that involves so much creativity for me! Hope you find it inspiring, God bless you and your family!

[@Lafeolamom]

Wow this really hit home with me. Sitting on the couch and just tuning the world out is my issue. I constantly feel so overwhelmed so when I have a chance to sit, that’s what I do. I just sit and time passes so fast.

[@fourleaf8055]

That’s exactly what I do. I feel overwhelmed a lot and often all I want to do is sit

[@roxy1stmommy]

Such an important topic. I've been feeling this way for a while. I think another tip would be to create positive habits. I know this is one of my struggles but for example: making my bed has become a habit that I'm very proud of and I feel off if I don't make my bed. I didn't grow up having to make my bed and no one in my house ever made their bed, so this has made a difference in how I feel daily. Thank you for the wonderful tips! I know I've been binging way too much TV lately. 😬

[@novasmotion]

Thank you. I’m crying. I have an 8 month old, and a 2 year old who, coincidentally loves to pound on the piano when I’m playing. I needed the tips you’ve shared. Thank you! 🥰

[@signingwithMrsRachel]

Straight out of high school I went into the Military (age 17) Soon after (age 21) I got married. Then at 23 I had my first baby, and 3 more babies all within 1.5 years of each other. I never really knew who I was. I never really had the time to find ME. I always just put on the uniform "hat" for what role I needed to be that day and never had time to find myself. Fast forward to me being 32 now 😳 I am finally realizing that I don't know who I am and am making it a point this year to do more things that make me happy.

[@LadyBeeSting2434]

I can totally give up watching tv since I watch reruns of my favorites and fall asleep. Ever since I had been diagnosed with illnesses that never want to go into remission, I find that I gave up writing because I couldn’t think, same with reading. Lately though, I haven’t been putting pressure to write just think. Think pray and think some more. I am finding my way toward the woman I am supposed to be becoming. I don’t ever want to stop growing. Thank you for this content and oddly been thinking about taking in person workshop classes at the college just to learn and no degree.

[@eugeniaarzaga3058]

.'...before you became a really kinda stressed out adult..." that made me chuckle and then sigh! so true.

[@swishfamilyrobertson3637]

This videos really hit home for me at the moment. Losing my job and shielding because of Covid has turned my world upside down. Losing my job wasn't necessarily a bad thing as it meant I could focus more on my family but I have felt for a long time that my idea of myself is slipping away. This past summer I began asking who I am? What do I like? Do I still like the things I once did? Post partum depression has meant weight gain and I currently wear anything that fits - and that means very little style besides 'rent a tent' clothes. Through the various lockdowns and even then after lockdown still shielding because of my asthma means I've cooked, baked, cleaned, and cleaned some more, read books, listened to music, watched tv and well... I'm so over all of those things. I feel like I'm in a very long winter and as Anne Elliot did in Persuasion, I feel like my bloom has vanished. I will definitely take your ideas on board and hopefully, I will find my bloom again. Thank you for your videos, they have given me something to look forward to and aspire to.

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

I'm rooting for you!

[@tarab4572]

I'm feeling like Anne too, Especially during this pandemic!!! My bloom has faded and left me questioning where and why did it go and hopefully I'll feel that spark again.

[@bethanygriggs2669]

Just know that you're not alone! It may seem like most people are able to live a more normal life again ( and I'm happy for them!) but there are still of those of those who have to keep shielding because of health issues. That's where my family is right now. It's not always easy, but God gives grace for each day!

[@kathleenkalinowski4805]

This is an excellent video. It also applies to us Seniors. When you retire the world shifts. This video offers a lot of meaningful suggestions for living well in the midst of life changes.

[@kimberlyperrotis8962]

Yes, definitely, I was forced into early retirement because of a health problem and am so isolated now.

[@jenniferreynolds3232]

I'm an adoptive stay at home mom of 3 kids, who came to us as a sibling group through foster care, and I have been homeschooling all 3 of my children for the past 4 years. I have definitely lost my passion and myself during motherhood!! I've been slowly reclaiming it. We moved 2 years ago and my husband and I made a beautiful retreat space for us and our hobbies. I've also discovered self-care is a huge issue for me! The move has made it much easier to care for myself since we have a master suite now, which is also helping me. However, I'm still struggling with energy and focus. By the time the kids are down to bed and the house is quiet and I have a chance at doing what I enjoy, I just can't seem to concentrate on anything. If I can concentrate, I'm not enjoying myself because I'm so tired I'm basically forcing myself to do my hobby. I'm really frustrated with feeling this way, while I've made progress, I keep getting stuck in this area, does anyone have any ideas I could try?

[@janemorrow6672]

I gave up after having three boys, a chronic illness, a spinal crush fracture a divorce and a lost job. A doctor finally listening and supporting my application for disability pension changed everything as of two weeks ago. I discovered your channel almost immediately and this video in particular today.

[@saradorris3554]

I am a mother of two beautiful children. One 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son. With my son having epilepsy my time of the day is mostly about doing his therapy, making sure he takes his medications, and spending time with my daughter while she's at home. I enjoy writing about my son's story, playing instruments, and baking. I think if I don't spend time doing things I enjoy I won't be able to take care of my family to the fullest.

[@marylewis6559]

Thank you for this video. I have struggled with this for so long. I grew up in a family that always squashed your passions and dreams. Then when I got on my own I had to work so hard and now I am almost 36 and married and no longer have to work as my husband has a really great job and I can be home. Now that I have time, I want to do something I'd love but my dreams and passions have been squashed for so long I don't even know what they are anymore.

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

It's a very common conundrum!

[@arlenesmith4609]

Mary, i think if you give it some thought and perhaps prayer, something will emerge that appeals to you and awakens the lost passions and dreams within you. Even if you just start with one interest and enjoy it, it is a step in the right direction. You are blessed that you have time available and I hope that you find ways to fill it that bring you joy!

[@sarapawsonherrington2595]

I have lost my self in a renovation that took over 2.5 years. I am still dealing with chaos partly because we got rid of so much stuff and furniture that I have to re think where things go, and the life is gone out of me. I just finished James Clear's Atomic Habits and am reading all the endnotes/footnotes as a review. It is making a difference and you are also helping me find some life again. I read Madame Chic and want to style my home and life like that. Thank you!

[@hmuchnick]

Jennifer, this is one of the best videos you've released. Linger on this topic for a while in your videos, I think there is more to discuss here. Wonderful job, as always!

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

Thank you, Hannah!

[@hwickerswriter]

There’s a line from Kate Chopin’s The Awakening that always struck me. It said something like, “I would give up my life for my children but I would never give up myself.” I mean, it goes south for Edna, but I still love the sentiment.

[@bloodorange9]

I think having a "secret life", something we do apart from our work, is vital - but it went out of my life completely in the past year...

[@shawna620]

Now that I've made the decision to retire, I feel so excited about the future! I can move to a new town, I can choose to work part time, I can finally finish my book, I can get into shape again. The world is my oyster!

[@kaylanewling3175]

Jennifer, thank you, this was a timely Godsend to me as I have been struggling currently with this very thing!

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

It's pretty prevalent in modern life.

[@laurenpickens996]

Me too Kayla! I might add that COVID life has exacerbated this issue for many. Thanks Jennifer!

[@sillybeeful]

A few years ago, while off work recovering from an injury, I became inspired to start a local craft group at my local library. It’s one of the most positive things I’ve ever done. I made new friends, and my friends who came along to support me are now their friends. Unfortunately COVID has meant that we can’t meet up, and it very likely that our library will have to close. We chat just about every day on WhatsApp. But I think we all miss our craft club

[@mamadahling]

I have found that whenever I find myself asking,”Is this all there is?”, I know it’s time to make some changes. My passion was/is teaching and I loved the comment below about redirecting your passion. I have gone from a classroom teacher, to a preschool mom helper, to room mothering, to coaching, to being a “picture lady” bringing art into classrooms, giving tours to new students at my local high school, and currently leading a Bible study each week. I think there are seasons in life and each season brings a new direction for your gifts or passions. Thank you for your lovely inspiring videos❤️.

[@susanspianostudio7057]

Would love to hear you do a video on this same topic with your husband along side you giving a man/fathers point of view. Enjoy seeing the both of you together! Such a great couple.

[@bmoremom8458]

So true you have to spend time feeding yourself with activities you love or show case your talents!

[@GinaStanyerBooks]

This is fantastic! I don't have kids, but started feeling that loss of passion as I have gotten older. I love books so I decided to start a booktube channel. It's been one of the most fun things I've ever done, and has given me such a great outlet for expression and creativity and engagement.

[@jenamreynoso]

I would love to know what your booktube channel is!

[@GinaStanyerBooks]

Jena Reynoso that is so nice! I’m at Gina Stanyer Books. I’d love to “meet” you 😃 there.

[@lindasevers5109]

The different seasons of life allow for different passions. When I started homeschooling my four children, to do it well, that had to become a passion rather than scrapbooking. Now that they are grown I've been able to reestablish my creative activities.

[@lindahagler6278]

Appearance has been a hard one with Covid. Often have trouble just starting with anything.

[@fanirivers4505]

It is a good theme, I decided to find myself once I retired, first thing, before making other plans.

[@joannafinnis9035]

ooh, I love this topic and I'm excited you're talking about it Jennifer because the number one comment I get as a singer-songwriter is 'you are so lucky to have this'. Nope, there's no luck. Just hard work to juggle everything and keep that part of me that makes me feel so good about myself. I'm also a mom, housewife, volunteer, and in the past a working mom so I know how hard it is to find the time but making time to pursue hobbies/passion is so good for one's soul and mental well-being. I grew up seeing my parents acting in local theater groups and playing guitar in friendly get-togethers, so it was only natural for me when I had my first child to insist that I be allowed 2hrs a week to spend on music. I used this time to work on my passion, learn new technology, and develop my skills. My songwriting makes me zero $ and I have no Fame but I still feel incredibly successful! My family knows they are my absolute number one top priority but they also know that their wife/mom does this other thing (cue teens eye-rolling) ... she sings and writes songs. It's healthy for kids to see their adult peers carving out time for themselves. It will encourage them to do the same. I hope you dive deeper into this subject!

[@tarab4572]

I swear that you are a fly on my wall. Every time I'm having an internal struggle, you always have a video about that same issue days later, LOL. I have been struggling with the dooming feeling of my lack of motivation over the things that use to get me excited. The signs you listed are also signs of what I think depression is and it's a struggle. I will definitely try out your solutions and thank you for this video. It was much needed!

[@cashby1425]

“The house is full and loud”. It’s hard to always appreciate that Jennifer (or anyone who feels like they need to hide in their own home from time to time) but you will look back on those moments years from now and smile. Also serving others and having hobbies are key to good health, well-being (puts your life and struggles into perspective) and balance! Thanks for a wonderful video.

[@cmickie3296]

Yes. I’m a little lost. But I’m finding my way back to me. I’m grateful for the process. I’m thankful to have people to love. I’m thankful for people like you, who aren’t afraid to be real. ❤️♥️💜

[@martybontumasi5058]

I feel so blessed that I'm in the latter part of my life and am pursuing my passions/hobbies now. I retired from teaching at age 55. I understand not having time for this when folks are raising their children and working. But....those passions/hobbies are important. :) When I retired, I decided to do all those things that I never had time to do. I currently am taking ballet classes and horseback riding lessons and enjoying every minute of it! :) God bless all those parents, out there, raising their children.........that is an important job too!

[@randallsherryadams5040]

I just finished an 18-year season of homeschooling our 2 children last May, and since then I’ve realized that I have no idea who I am anymore because I’ve given all of myself to getting my family through the last 29 years. I’ve had dreams for a few years now that when that season ended my husband and I would continue full-time with the mission/community development work we’ve already been doing part-time in Europe. But then the whole world turned upside-down this last year so those plans are currently still on hold. It involves one of my passions which is for quality children’s literature (not writing it because I don’t think I’m a writer, but perpetuating it somehow such as through having a bookshop that sells it). Otherwise and in the meantime I’m feeling pretty lost. This was a good video to do, Jennifer.

[@sm8johnthreesixteen]

There are many that would benefit from your service...type up your best 'homeschooling' tips and give them to homeschool moms; make a list of your family's favorite books/reads and share it with homeschool moms; send a homeschool mom your favorite quality parenting book and offer to discuss it with her; host an online book club with friends and family--read/discuss life-changing books (Christian autobiographies and biographies are wonderful--I just read In the Presence of My Enemies by Gracia Burnham); learn a craft and share what you make with others as gifts (learn how to crochet with KZbin videos--there is much more to crochet today than just the granny-square afghans that we knew as children); write encouraging notes to others; pray for others; distribute evangelistic books/tracts (one of my favorites is "Done: What Most Religions Don't Tell You About the Bible" by Cary Schmidt); and investigate the Homeschool Librarians Conference 2012 at Living Books Library for more information on quality children's books and their preservation. (See www.livingbookslibrary.com/library-resources/ for living books library info.) Opportunities abound for service to others! I think that focusing on serving others will help that lost feeling to dissipate.

[@amourtoujours779]

1000% yes! I did, in my 20s. Which was a layover from my teens. I have reset for the past year and finding new purpose. The reset: Action with Intention.

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

Action with intention... I love that!

[@gioia4030]

Hi Jennifer, I can relate to everything you said. I'm 55 yrs old, wife, mom, entrepreneur all the things that are wonderful but keep us busy so we lose ourselves. I hesitate to say this but it took a pandemic (certain people & events) that I thought were so important but because of the virus we could no longer have the usual interactions that I realized the following. They were not adding to my life, they were draining me. I used this past year to be more mindful of what is important, faith, family & doing something I really enjoy like my channel here. I'm also very grateful appreciative for your channel on how you focus what matters in life. Thank you! xoxoxo

[@oliviamaria2010]

Hi! I try to watch this video a few times, but at some point I just cried... I had so many things that I love... Now I just realized that all I do is take care of my child, my husband and my home. Is good. I love it. But... something was missing. So I watch the video until the end, and with your help and the "cottage fairy" (YT) meditations I just took a pencil and draw again, then I took a brush and finish some watercolor that I started a decade ago... I'm trying to improve my embroidery and finaly I can say that my passions did not die, they are alive! So thank you so much. Next step is keep up with the montly assignment ... sending my gratitude, from Portugal! Obrigada!

[@lizk555]

This is definitely harder when kids are very small, but as my daughters have grown, I’ve gotten into volunteering at my local animal shelter, and repairing things around the house! Now that I have a tween and a teenager, I very much want my daughters to see the joy in DOING things… not just messing around on phones or watching TV all the time.

[@brandyleigh3635]

I have a 4 year old and found your channel as I felt like I had lost myself and disliked the homemaker role I'd stepped into. I find soooo much value in your videos, thank you! This is another one that is very timely and has been on my mind as everything revolves around my daughter and I don't even know what my hobbies/interests are anymore beyond motherhood.

[@victoriaoliver9958]

I love your video formats. No matter the subject, your format is calm, classy, and beautiful. Thank you for not letting yourself go and for your encouragement. I've been using my free time to read and also to learn Spanish and French on Duolingo. A few months ago, I was really intimidated by even pronouncing French words. Now, I can read a comment in French and understand the gist of it! My passions are: poetry, traveling, cultures/languages, history, piano, singing in small groups, song-writing, psychology, nature... I wish I had a hundred lifetimes to learn about everything I want to learn.

[@paulajohnson7075]

I can totally relate to your comment about a 100 lifetimes to do all of my interests! 😀

[@pameehanson3866]

.Thank you for addressing this issue. True not all of us have children but I am full time caregiver to my husband. This has been a long journey and many years I worked outside home to support us. I was able to retire over a year ago and since have lost my way. Then I asked myself a question about what would I like to do if I had no responsibilities. I always wanted to go to college so I started researching and found some online classes which feeds my passion.

[@jenniferfink1728]

Wow. This really hits the mark. I used to have so many side projects and passions, I didn't know which ones to pick. The point you make was brought home to me when someone recently asked me what my interests and hobbies are. I looked at them blankly and said, "I have no idea."

[@Crew4Life]

Ohhhhhhh. Thank you, thank you, thank you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. I feel like I have just been busy taking care of my children as a mom that I don't even remember how it feels to enjoy the things I used to love. And every now and then when I feel that passion coming back, I feel guilty. Thank you again for this video. I used to love writing and reading; since I get distracted by my children alot, I no longer see the point in picking up a book since I know I'll get distracted.

[@gb2721]

Thank you so much for this. I have been struggling mentally with this. I check all the signs that i have given up 😞

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

We're here for you!

[@jaimezuniga4702]

I finally got a few minutes to sit down and watch this and I think it’s a topic that’s very relevant today. It’s so beneficial and important to retain our sense of self as an adult. It takes work, that’s for sure but it’s important. I am a mother of five, my first baby came at 17 so I feel I hardly had time to explore my own passions before motherhood came and I dived into the selflessness of that role. But I did love being creative-making cards, playing the piano, I played tennis. I have worked hard over the last 25 years keeping my own hobbies and activities going and developing new talents as well. I’ve learned to play the flute, I’ve kept up with the piano, I’ve become a runner, I still play tennis, I have learned watercolor painting and love to share that talent making things for others, I have developed my cooking skills... it’s not easy but it’s so good. I encourage others to take just a little time to do something for themselves. I used to love to write as a child and I would love to do that more. I need to be better about nurturing my friendships. Thank you for addressing this topic.

[@DansonforJoy]

You spoke to ME! Found myself crying halfway in, then scribing notes about my long-lost passions by the end. 😭😂🥰 Thank you, Jennifer.

[@dr.lorianne]

I got lost in complacency (adulting)....trying to find my way back. I needed to hear this. Thank you!

[@christiana_mandalynn]

Jennifer, are you peeking into my soul?? 😭💛💛💛 ALL of the things you stated are things that I have struggled with/am struggling with. I used to play the piano (and with 4 kids now, I have the same interruptions as you!), I loved to write, sketch & paint, read classic literature and history books, go horseback riding, and I feel like all those that I loved have fallen to the wayside. I don’t spend time doing things that nourish my soul. The one lifeline I am holding to is scripture study (which is woefully inadequate) and trying to discover my personal style. I discovered your videos recently and you have been a Godsend. 💖💖💖

[@kathleenmcgorman4617]

I just wanted to say how much I appreciated this topic! I’ve certainly felt it has been very difficult to keep separate passions and interests outside of all the daily tasks with young kids as the primary caregiver. I related to the feeling of resignation you mentioned lately in regards to having to put so much of myself on hold. Thank you so much for the reminder that it is important to keep these interests alive not only for our own sakes but also for those of our family members. After watching this video yesterday I was motivated to involve my kids in the garden all afternoon and could feel the layers of resentment falling away. As a more introverted person, I’ve found it very difficult to sacrifice my old quieter passions to the chaos of young kids, but finding new ways to keep the flickers of creativity alive is a much better path forward. Thank you for the tough reminder and for always pushing your audience to do and be better 💕

[@christinaskinner6510]

I'm also a homeschooling mother of 4. I always squeezed in time to sew because I love it. With the pandemic and everyone working from home, I lost my workspace so I've given up on it. I feel the loss keenly. I'm also a photographer but have no time to edit so I've given up on that also. I know this is just a season and eventually I'll have time and space again but it's hard to just be "working" all of the time. I don't watch TV at all but I have given up in my style. I did start working out and I like how it makes me feel.

[@rosesaeli346]

I used to love.... YES. I went thru a very hard time after having my third child 4 years ago and getting close to that again. Loneliness and perpetually being overwhelmed consume my day. Staying home is the hardest thing I’ve ever done mentally. I’d love to work again and get out of the house when my youngest starts school full time next year.

[@laceyinnewyork4040]

Same situation with me. I hear you...you are not alone!

[@dawndawn6946]

Thank you for this, Jennifer! You should do this video again when your children are grown and homeschool is done. I’d be really interested to see that one, too.😬 That’s where I am now. Lack, complacency, etc.....it’s all here!🤭 I’ve been working on getting back to myself.

[@kimberlyperrotis8962]

Since about age 7, I can’t live without daily reading. To wake up, relax, get inspired, learn, go to sleep, it’s my most important “hobby”, by far. I used to get up at 4:30 am, to get an hour of reading in, before I had to get ready for work, starting at 5:30.

[@22304abc]

I enjoyed the video today. As a retiree I enjoy the time I now have to devote to studying French everyday, improve french cooking skills, explore decorating and design. You got me to try trampoline which I use for healthy bouncing and also do other things for fitness. BTW, your eyebrows frame your face beautifully today.

[@kindashabby]

What a timely topic! I had spent the last few years feeling as though menopause had drained the life from me. I missed the vibrancy and energy I once knew, so changes were in order. In January, I began exercising daily. Just moving my body helped me move forward. I also began organizing, even if it was just a drawer or shelf per week. Now, I’m tackling my closet, saying goodbye to anything that doesn’t make me feel good about myself. I had to do things to get out of the habit of feeling lousy. I’m so glad I found your channel; your content speaks to my heart.

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

Thank you! Welcome!

[@noreengarron2853]

While at muse d' orsey met a couple that celebrates their wedding anniversary at the museum every year ! How romantic they were older couple they were soooo CUTE!! They were from Canada

[@nmernst]

My number one fun thing to do was to go into NYC a few times a year to see an opera and meet up with a few friends. I hope to go back to that this fall :) I studied piano and that's also on my list to get back to. Thanks for sharing!

[@ViannaAmbrosi]

I can so relate to the convo you had with your daughter--and I don't even have children yet! You put into words something I have been struggling to express to loved ones. Thank you!

[@melindabiddy7165]

This video really hit home. In 2015 I lost my oldest daughter to a tragic car accident. I have lost myself completely. I let myself go and let my hobbies and interests basically disappear. I always find your channel so inspirational and calming if that makes sense. So, thank you for creating your videos and do know we love to watch them. Hopefully I can work on finding myself again.

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

I’m so sorry for your loss... ♥️

[@melindabiddy7165]

@@TheDailyConnoisseur ❤ thank you

[@connied5858]

I really needed to hear this I'm older and now I have grandchildren and I feel like my kids think I have nothing to do since I retired.

[@debbiephillips6809]

I am sitting here watching this after work while wearing yoga pants, a t-shirt and I have a messy bun, lol! Your intermittent fasting videos changed my life, so thank you for that. I will work on my goals about pursuing creative outlets. I was an Art major in college.

[@megan2176]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, as my job is changing from a home position back to the workplace, which is sort of terrifying in a way (though I'm grateful to have a job!). I've been trying to remind myself that my job doesn't have to be my whole life. I have interests and hobbies to fill my day too, so this job change doesn't have to change "everything". I want to revisit some of my hobbies (sewing, quilting) before the job change so they'll be part of my life during the transition. :)

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

That's a good mindset!

[@angiepace8746]

I have been thinking this very way lately. I used to love reading and writing, and all my teachers said I was a great writer. Recently, I joined the writing guild in my town. I love your videos. Thanks, Jennifer.

[@deliarealtor]

My passion was caring for my family but now they are all scattered and it’s just 2 of us here.I used to do cross stitch but can’t do that now with arthritis and old eyes.

[@scrappydingodee8893]

How can you possibly get thumb downs? I never thumb down a video, if I dont like a video, I click off. Why thumb it down?

[@TheDailyConnoisseur]

It's the same handful of people. They keep coming back for more :)

[@scrappydingodee8893]

Dont let it get you down. You’re wonderful.

[@kendrarhodes6425]

I’m watching this in 2023 and it is such great information and advice. I don’t have any children, but I am very absorbed into my work and goals. Sometimes I just want to have some fun!

[@muffybijou3953]

That was a very heartwarming piece of content, one to which I can very much relate. Thank you ... it's given me food for thought. I also really enjoy your authentic and calm demeanor. Of course now, I'll have to stop binge watching your channel ... LOL!

[@kristiLB93]

This video definitely came in a timely manner! Before I was a Mom, I was a professional dancer. I was a portrait artist pursuing a path in costume design, and I too was a pianist-a joyful, lifelong hobbie. (And yes, I know that feeling when you just want to play a piece without being interupted!😊) But over the past few years I definitely felt as if I've sort of wandered into a realm of complacency. When you mentioned signs of giving up, I cringed and found myself nodding in agreement, acknowledging that I had indeed given up to some extent. I've been living in Mom mode for 11 years, homeschooling parent for 6 years, wife for 16 years. And while I wouldn't trade those beautiful roles for anything, I still am that dancer, that artist deep down inside. I still have a deep yearning for those passions. I still daydream about them. But the reality is, it's just not that easy to jump in the car and take a ballet class for myself anymore, even at home online. It's hard to find an uninterrupted hour to work on my artwork. After my day is complete with my kids, I want to decompress my mind. It's all too easy for me to just not practice at those passions at the end of the day. But your video encouraged me and gave me that nudge that I already knew in the back of my mind to keep at it. That those things that make us who we are are still relevant and still important to find time to practice. I love that my kids know exactly what I enjoy. They know I love dance, and theatre, and art. And I share it with them all the time. But, the takeway here for me is that it's OKAY for me to make the time to indulge in those dreams for myself. I can dream about them in new ways. Letting them drop by the way side makes me sad just thinking about it. So, thank you! This was a good one for sure!😊♥️