The Narcissism Doctor: "1 In 6 People Are Narcissists!" How To Spot Them & Can They Change?

[@TheDiaryOfACEO]

Can I ask you all a favour? If you enjoy this episode, could you please hit the like button 👍🏾 it helps us massively. Appreciate you all! 🙏🏽

[@Dischordian]

30 000 dead in Gaza, and you are still posting these empty vapid conversations about sex.

[@freedomutopuia]

How was it interviewing a narcissist about narcissism? 😅 She even tried to put you down and into place when your questions made her feel like you were onto her. Scary eyes. Definitely a narcissist

[@wellnesspathforme6236]

Narcissists don't relate. Rather, they feel they are right and feel entitled to other people conforming to their agenda. Narcissists can only demand conformanceships; they can't have relationships.

[@wellnesspathforme6236]

Narcissists can't cleave... they can be superficial, but they can't cleave... For context, the Money Power Allodials financed rusty iron filings into the food supply beginning in 1941. This toxic form of iron has never been in the food supply before. Morley Robbins is the expert on iron toxicity. He would be a great guest. Daniel 2:43-44 43 And whereas thou sawest iron mixed with miry clay, they shall mingle themselves with the seed of men: but they shall not cleave one to another, even as iron is not mixed with clay. 44 And in the days of these kings shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed: and the kingdom shall not be left to other people, but it shall break in pieces and consume all these kingdoms, and it shall stand for ever.

[@oliviiaaach95]

@@freedomutopuia 💯💯 takes one to know one right!! 😂

[@DoctorRamani]

Thank you so much for having me on your podcast!

[@Love-eg2vf]

I spent years studying narcissism, due to having grown up as the designated scapegoat. I spent years buying into this model of “recovery”, which only perpetuates the external locus of control and the belief that safety is found by identifying toxic people and avoiding them. This felt good, but did nothing for me. It was only through learning how to strengthen my boundaries and learning how not to absorb other people’s emotions, regardless of whether they were narcissists or not, that my life began to improve in drastic ways. That and changing my own self-concept. The human ego in itself is narcissistic, all people are narcissistic to one degree or another. Some much more dysfunctional than others. This idea that labeling and identifying narcissists is some kind of revelation has lead to everyone calling everyone narcissists, further increasing division. Ironically, I’m seeing people on the extreme end of the spectrum now calling others narcissists.

[@Its_AutumnMoon]

You're an absolute force for positive change Dr. Ramani - change within us individually, and therefore change at a societal level. You've opened my eyes. THANK YOU!

[@aushrinestar6161]

Thank you for opening up.about the abuse💝💖💗💓🙏

[@skyefarnam7857]

I think some domestic abusive behaviors are traumatic triggers. Limbic behavior.

[@face-in-the-crowd]

You have opened my eyes over the past few years. Great work 💕

[@shodack5124]

This woman saved my life 5 years ago. No exaggeration.

[@ToddRock16]

Remember Trump changing the weather map so that the hurricane went the direction he wanted it to and then tried to cover it up and never admitted he was wrong? Then spent 2 weeks Still Trying to CONVINCE us he was right. ID THAT NARC ENCAPSULATION OTR WHAT?😊 as well. Insane unbelievable -- I mean...well you knowy.. Human experience. A hot, high IQ , 2 Masters Degrees woman from. a moneyed Catholic family . Flowers to her neighbors weekly ,smile line wrinkles mile long from 50 ye rs of the Narc mask triangulating me _ 2 of her exes in misty ingenious manipulation scheme ever. She knows I don't play m jig school games. Walk outside... Shs standing in rain. Soaking wet. Trying to convince you that it's 80 Degrees an the sun is out. And will NOT STOP until you relenqiish reality.

[@ashleywalker1411]

Ah. You sound like a vulnerable narcissist.

[@ashleywalker1411]

How? Did you agree to enter into a therapeutic agreement with her? An observable and accountable confidentiality covenant? If not, she abused you, because she is not who she pretends to be and is causing serious damage on the Internet.

[@joycenichols6187]

​@@ashleywalker1411are you a narc that got found out cause of her knowledge?

[@Wherethereisnodarkness]

A lot of these narc channels prey on "victims". They need you to forever think that you are a victim and in need of healing. Some have even admitted it. ​@@joycenichols6187

[@kaizen_5091]

"if the behavior is unacceptable, it's unacceptable, I don't care about the back story" Yes, indeed, Dr Ramani, if only we all saw it that way. Less people would be able to get away with horrendous acts against others.

[@anarcho-communist11]

People who grew up abused and didn't learn to love, who have a predisposition to be unempathetic, may have no choice about being jerks. They still need to suffer consequences for crimes or more crimes get committed and destroy civilization.

[@kaizen_5091]

@@anarcho-communist11 I used to be of that mind. That someones back story not only explains their behavior but justifies it. I no longer see it that way. It's also irrelevant them getting punished because it does not change the impact they have on other people's lives. Unless you are walking around with blinkers on, you will soon learn as an adult that something is not right with yourself and that maybe how you go about things is not okay. It's up to that individual to take responsibility for their actions no matter how they got to that state because facts are, no one else has the power to do so like themselves!!!

[@willow1698]

It's funny that she is the biggest narcissist of all and her content does nothing but breed more of them. But none of them will see it because they're… by definition, NARCISSISTS, lmao. Ramani is just their supply. It's so embarrassing that none of them see it but she's bred the exact audience she wants to create. Constant supply on both ends. Can't say it's not genius.

[@angielinda487]

@@kaizen_5091 well said. I got sucked into or manipulated/gaslit into their traumas until someone once reminded me that I had been and was going through narc traumas abuse far worse and I wasn't using it as an excuse to be nasty and irresponsible or victimhood. Narcs choose to ignore the initial moral conscience till it no longer works. As adults we're definitely responsible for our choices.

[@Leiqu2024]

I always said "he acts like a Dick but he's accually not" until somebody said "if he always acts like a Dick... he is just a Dick" and that person was soo right 😅

[@robertkarlsson1313]

This woman saved me several times during 2 narcisistic relationships.I survived,there is hope of a better life.Never give up and inform and educate yourself.

[@user-er3kw8hv7i]

most women are narcissists ngl

[@mark2073]

Just curious how you ended up in a second one? Did you not recognize the signs?

[@georgiakritikos4955]

"In God WE trust" is never lonely

[@619mom]

@@mark2073 No, we don’t. Some are different. I was married for 22 years to one, but he wasn’t as covert as the second one. I had no idea until the second one how bad life can be and it’s horrible. I will completely lost all self discipline self worth value. It was the worst I walked away with a broken wrist, torn meniscus, and a check to 2024 in San Diego, California. I wondered where all my friends on social media where did they recognize those are posting every day and then my friends realize I was in an abusive relationship? Abuse is real and it sucks.

[@rachaelb.]

@@619mom I beg you to please watch HG Tudor's thousands of educational videos on narcissism! He explains how to remove yourself from a narcissist completely! He talks about marriages, children, loved ones, and friends that are involved in a narcissist's relationship. How to escape for good. God bless you!

[@soscruffy]

As a mental health professional and survivor I LOVE this woman. Listening to her is the opposite of being gaslit

[@wattsy6303]

Aren't you perfect!

[@soscruffy]

@@wattsy6303 Oh thank you. That's sweet x

[@wattsy6303]

You are a reflection of everyone you hate and disagree with. You or I are not perfect and are more alike then not, because we are HUMAN. maybe when yous realise this you'll have more love and understanding which means less division and seperaton which means not as much need for condemnation of others choices and or brain chemistry through the derogatory label of "narcissism" Much love to you ❤

[@wattsy6303]

Yous LOVE division and you LOVE being a victim as it makes you feel better and more important than others The exact thing yous blame Narcs for doing! 😂❤

[@soscruffy]

@@wattsy6303 Were these comments for me? It sounds like you are having quite a big reaction. You mention "hate", "division", "derogatory", "condemnation" and seem to be projecting onto me some narcissistic stuff about being "perfect". This was in response to someone sharing gratitude to the interviewee. I'm not quite sure what's going on there with your response. Sounds like you are having some big feelings though and I'm very curious!

[@siaminja]

No exaggeration when I say she’s a life saver. Thank you for bringing her on your podcast.

[@codingwannabe]

I came here to say the exact same thing!

[@merxg.creative]

IKR ❤❤❤

[@Mike_Cosentino]

Bought her book last week!

[@ginacirelli1581]

Amen. I love Dr. Ramani!

[@TheBizzMiss]

Like for real though ❤❤❤

[@adelaaldana7740]

This woman saved my life. Long live Dr Ramani

[@GodsChild71111]

Mine too! 🎉 She is a blessing.

[@QueenHartDivine]

Me too 🎉

[@luizlunkes3992]

Me too!!! ❤

[@carole9409]

Me too 😊 from PTSD to Peace. Namaste 🙏

[@carleythompson7003]

The father of my child is a narcissist, he treated me absolutely horrendously while I was pregnant with our daughter. I was a delivery driver for Domino's at the time and during my deliveries, I would listen to Dr. Ramani talk about narcissism and she helped me distinguish what was actually going on and she helped me start to develop mental strong guards to help protect myself , she truly helped me during that time of my life when I was going thru that.

[@chubstuf]

I just changed a profile picture in my phone for one of my contacts from a handsome face to "never defend, justify, explain or overshare." It will remind me every time the contact calls that I have the option to decline, block or completely remove them from my contact list. Baby steps are slowly giving me my life back.

[@roxysimmons]

fantastic idea!

[@matthewmiller3920]

Share the meme?

[@ca5417]

Brilliant!

[@averyintelligence]

Non attention seeking people simply block the number. Have you tried that?

[@nonWhites_have_to_go_back]

he is a he, not a them

[@Littlestephy29]

It's true. The #1 sign is if the person takes accountability. If they do and apologize/ change behavior, that is a normal person. Narcissists never take accountability and would rather deflect, shift blame, or lie. An asshole is also just mean and rude, but a narcissist is more manipulative and can often be very sociable and charming and well-liked by people who only meet them on a surface level.

[@tingeling4443]

Soo true🥹

[@Pollycat15]

Yep this is a massive red flag. I know for a personality style to be narcissistic lots of ‘ingredients’ need to be there but anyone who demonstrates this needs to be put on someone’s mental ‘watchlist’ .

[@ewamarzena888]

Yes, exactly, if a person genuinely takes accontability, it is not narcisism. Thanks for claryfying.

[@erikmorales17]

Not really I’m narcissistic but I take accountability 😂😂 I believed I was god before I even knew religion idk maybe I am the messiah

[@rizzlapauper113]

My narc was pretending accountability and "sorry" etc, only to manipulate and do the same again. My narc was pretending to listen or empathize... In reality my narc was just taking a step back only to attack and dominate again... Very sad

[@greer545]

Working with a narcissist was the best thing that ever happened to me, changed my life for the better. I had to shake off the things that had held me back my entire adult life, I am now more aware of manipulation the second it starts. I have given up on being understood, and value the understanding I have with myself. I realized that my best version of my self was despised by these people, and so I stepped in to that version of me.

[@bingoandtoto]

I know what you meant. Since I could be aware of my narc partners, while getting out from them, I could get into my childhood where I was abused by narc parents.

[@ryanlebear]

love this! good on you =)

[@kay6692]

This comment is so stupid

[@TrailerHitchRVCenter]

Thank you for sharing this. This is my desire and hearing you speak your victory gives me extra light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you!

[@greer545]

@kay6692 thank you 😊🙏💓☺️💖😘😊🙏you validate that I'm doing good 👍

[@eiehe93-]

If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done Metaspyhub@gmail. com.

[@TessaJonker-fj2rn]

You r probably quite rightin how to deal with narcs. The problem is you need to be so so strong to be able to stand so so firm n protect yourself. Not many people would have those skills/characteristics. I do…. But it still costs me as their crap never ends. Hopeless. !!!

[@SquigglesFluffystuff]

@@eiehe93- boundaries don't work with narcissists they weaponize them.

[@AntsCanada]

I am a narcissistic survivor, and it wasn't even a family member, but strangely a co-worker. Even if it was for a short term, I was very much so psychologically damaged which took me years to recover from. It's so important that the world is well versed in this world of narcisism. Watching Dr. Ramani's videos during pandemic helped me further heal and come to understand that time of my life. Thank you for inviting her!

[@Melynnest]

Me too it’s very damaging

[@Donbellep]

I was exactly the same. Co-worker too, who ended up as my best friend that I then realised was actually a narc and I was the codependent one! Dr. Ramani, saved my life!!

[@tinselinkl]

I'm still in the situation. Getting a job and background checks seems to be siding him. Tarnishing reputation

[@krisyanren755]

I think I can relate to this. I also have a co worker that gave ma PTSD. She always makes me feel that I always do things wrong, I always make mistakes (even if I do my best in the job) . She is the Hero/protagonist at work and I am the villain. It feels like she steps on me each day to make her the one loved by everyone. She is the nice, most lovable, helpful one and I am the most useless... No one has ever made me feel that way.

[@rosesilveira344]

I work with a covert narcissist who recruited other narcissists & alphas to her circle. She is a control freak who has no boundaries to maintain her facade & power over 😅others. It's a daily struggle to keep my wits from falling into their pitfalls. My biggest defense is silence, inner integrity & distance.

[@cellosong]

The hardest thing to explain to people who have not lived with a narcissist is the behavior of the vulnerable or covert narcissist. These people appear "normal" but when you are intimately connected to them they are judgmental, will unfairly target other family members for their hate, will love others only conditionally and if you don't comply with their vision of your life they will reject you, they will emotionally withhold from their children and put unfair expectations onto their children. They are highly damaging to children.

[@JosephineSanni]

you hit the nail on the head. They have so much disdain for their family members who do not measure up to their standards, and most times, the family member doesn't know.

[@ONETimothy2.12-14]

You just mentioned what literally everybody is like deep down. Your love is indeed conditional even though your comment suggests otherwise. The talking trash about family is 1 I don't like but it's so common it's not even worth bringing up. I think this whole narcissist trend on the internet has become an excuse for people.

[@frankestrada9906]

100%

[@JBUHJBUH]

​@@ONETimothy2.12-14 Wow imagine outing yourself like this lol! Does everyone have certain standards? Yes. Is it common to feel disappointed if those standards aren't met? Yes. Is it normal to *stop loving someon* just because those standards aren't met? Absolutely not! *That's* the type of conditional love we're talking about here. Not stopping loving someone when you finally realise how badly they've been abusing you - that's just prioritising self-love and boundaries.

[@ONETimothy2.12-14]

@JBUHJBUH All you did was linguistic gymnastics to avoid taking accountability for your "conditions" for love. You think I outed myself when you are the one outing your covert narcissism. You have an entire checklist that puts you in a position of power in a relationship and if your man takes that from you you will immediately lose interest.

[@delaneybucknor3710]

Couldn’t click faster when I saw Dr Ramani in the thumbnail. Her response to the question at the end got me. Even strong people have vulnerable experiences. She was strong for sharing

[@reginamushi6582]

Am so glad he got her here!!! Yeeeiiii...I can't wait for ppl to learn what I ve been learning from her for years

[@actualizeyourmagic5106]

She's my hero

[@jansmith3158]

if you have encountered any of these evil narcissist the book The path forward surviving a narcissist by Lisa Scott, The sociopath next door by Dr Martha Stouth and Lovefraud by Donna Anderson are excellent informative books.

[@Arlene_witha_y]

I was with one for 15 years. Confirmed by a marital psychologist. A PhD specializing in family and marriages. He had a high level of “traits” she said. “Not a true narc because he has some empathy” she said, but “he has a lot of traits”. All I know is till this day I’ve never been more afraid of a person like I have been and still am of him in my entire life.

[@justiceness9-e5o]

They are known to fake empathy because they can look more normal and fit in better. When someone doesn’t care about others they can do anything so we should be afraid. Sadly. So glad you got out!!

[@gozdetiryaki8545]

She saved me from harmness of a person.

[@Mike_Cosentino]

Same. Not only that, but she’s helping me to REINFORCE these boundaries I’ve put up against two separate narcissists; one being a former love interest and the other one being my estranged, abusive, controlling mother who I have not spoken to in ten years. Both of the narcissists in my life I’m thinking of knew no boundaries. If they knew I put one up, they’d just trample over it anyway. Then had the gall later to complain about their boundaries and limits. Ugh, the double standards!!

[@damienhunt4264]

harm or harmfulness

[@marcusolsen96]

She saved me from a harness

[@damienhunt4264]

She harnessed me to her blame game.@@marcusolsen96

[@leadgenjay]

Dr. Ramani's insights on narcissism are incredibly valuable, especially in the professional world. Entrepreneurs should be aware that narcissistic traits can sometimes be mistaken for confidence, which is appealing in leadership. However, true success comes from collaborative efforts and emotional intelligence, not just assertiveness or charisma. It's crucial to differentiate these qualities when building a team or choosing a mentor.

[@arnonym5208]

🎉❤

[@freedomutopuia]

Insights coming from the fact she herself is one. Look at the eyes. Clear as day. Not to say her advice is bad but she's doing this all for self gratification not from the heart

[@thomasashleyorrelll]

​@freedomutopuia so looking at someone eyes enough of reason to label someone a narcissist?

[@freedomutopuia]

@@thomasashleyorrelll no I've watched a number of her videos. Do you disagree?

[@rainiaspace]

Yup. Well said

[@matinuadaaja]

After dealing with a narcissist, I decided to prioritize my mental well-being by working remotely. It's helping!!😇

[@KayleneRomero-oz7yz]

THIS!❤

[@Hkizzie]

What I find most interesting about this amazing podcast is, did any narcissists watch it and realise they are narcissists and how did that knowledge affect them? 🧐

[@Ifyouarehurtnointentwasapplied]

Running away from problems isn't going to fix it for ever

[@mysterygirl5291]

My dream job is a remote one! I just can’t stand the narcissistic work culture where the narcissistic and psychopathic ones rise to the top.

[@marionohara5606]

​@@Hkizzie In no way do or will they ever accept that they r narcissists....ever. They can't be fixed because they r everybody's best friend and that's their reality......they r wonderful in their own mind just because they help a homeless person or give to Charity and make sure everyone knows they r doing that. It's a nightmare of a life if ur the partner.

[@denisemegenhardt282]

I was 61 years old when I met my first Narcissist. I didn’t understand what was wrong with us. He was very charismatic at first. But, after several months of dating his true colors began to emerge. Behind closed doors he was mean. Verbally abusive. Emotionally abusive. Lies constantly. Blamed me for everything that went wrong. Then, I would leave and the Love bombing would begin. My advice: Leave and don’t ever go back. It will be hard to do. But, you must! And, I must ❤❤❤Be strong

[@lks6248]

Once you’ve experienced it once you recognise all the little red flags forever after. When it seems too good to be true that is because it is !😊

[@avg4015]

In 100 minutes this doctor told the story of 18 years of my life with my narcissistic ex. I lost 18 years of my adult life. My best years. I had no thoughts left at the end of this interview. Just regret and sadness and the hope more people find their way out of the misery that narcisism is.

[@allyettiene1730]

I'm with you on this. Mine lasted 17 years and left me feeling just the way you did

[@sharynmain2432]

Your sadness is understandable…. Give yourself a victory that the person is your ex. You haven’t totally betrayed yourself. That’s a win for you 😊

[@sharynmain2432]

Your sadness is understandable…. Give yourself a victory that the person is your ex. You haven’t totally betrayed yourself. That’s a win for you 😊

[@lililululalabooboo]

I hear ya. So sorry that happened to you.

[@Chewymochifruity]

i supprt you and all of you on your journey rebuilding and finding your true authentic self because i've been thorugh the same, now building myself up again. Please reach out to me if u need support.

[@sofiedhaens]

I think this exact content should be included in the curricula of schools around the world. It would save a lot of young people from developing low self-esteem because of narcissists in their lives and help them recognise red flags before stepping into bad relationships later in life.

[@margh737]

The awareness is important. The frightening part though is with 1 in 6 people being narcissists, who can we trust, where are we going to find normal people? Narcissists seem to dominate everything and everyone. They are usually celebrated, embraced, and loved making it hard for normal people to be seen and reached.

[@farhatf7046]

I'd like to see in schools Zamolxis laws and Zamolxis laws of life - on KZbin.

[@NehaSharma-777]

True.

[@caity2460]

@@margh737please don’t quote that number. It’s just what she feels like with no proof. I don’t know 6 people who I can confidently predict might have narcissism. I can think of maybe 3. But no one in my life is actually diagnosed.

[@ellieramseyer]

Unfortunately, academia is riddled with narcs :(

[@MegaYvette2010]

This woman....is my HERO!!! She put SO many things in perspective for me and my family regarding a Narcissistic family member. YEARS of emotional abuse and drama...and now we know exactly how to deal with this person. Dr Ramani saved us!

[@willow1698]

It's funny that she is the biggest narcissist of all and her content does nothing but breed more of them. But none of them will see it because they're… by definition, NARCISSISTS, lmao. Ramani is just their supply. It's so embarrassing that none of them see it but she's bred the exact audience she wants to create. Constant supply on both ends. Can't say it's not genius.

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

They get pleasure out of it because they need supply to feel alive.

[@KM-wv2og]

I have met hundreds upon hundreds of people in my life,... and I've studied narcissism for almost a decade and because have a friend who is deeply narcissistic. But if it was really one in 6 people, then I would have met about 600 narcissists by now. Having said that, Steven you asked some of the best questions I've ever heard an interviewer ask about narcissism and that beautiful doctor answered them in such an eloquent and fascinating way.

[@Max_Ivanov_Pro]

Dr. Ramani's insight always hits different, especially when it's about vulnerability. Strong people have vulnerable moments too.

[@user-bn4nc9fc8r]

absolutely! and watch out for psych-ologist profession

[@TheDavveponken]

@@user-bn4nc9fc8r ironic since ramani is one of the biggest hacks of the industry

[@pa2359]

Saved mine 3 and half years ago

[@TheDavveponken]

My comment was censored yet again. Surprise

[@hazeleyes0071]

strong people or narcissists?

[@Iknowgia_222]

It doesn’t get better than Dr. Ramani. She’s saved my life countless times making me feel seen and heard. She’s also incredibly humble. So much respect for what she’s doing! 💖

[@poojashah6462]

Did her books help you or watching her videos?

[@DrJillianRigert]

2 months later, and you're up to over 6 million! Congratulations! Speaks loudly to the incredible value you are creating! Thank you!

[@electriquenikki]

And now heading for 9 MIL!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

[@padmajay]

First time in my years of chronic mental abuse by parent and sibling...my feelings got validated by listening to what Dr.Ramani explored. Long live Dr. Ramani 🙏

[@Missmay777]

She’s all over KZbin, her own channel and guest appearances. As someone that has/is going thru the same dynamic you speak of, I suggest whenever you’re not feeling validated or maybe gaslighted, or when they mirror & hijack your good values, while projecting their insecurities onto you to own, or devaluing you and then discarding when you standup for yourself, sending the flying monkeys and smear campaigners your way 😢🤦🏻‍♀️👀😮‍💨 the terms are wild but so real! Anyways, when this is all happening find one of her videos (or other content creators online, or redit forums) and in no time you’ll be feeling better. Just don’t let them make you doubt your reality or completely break you down! God bless and I hope you’re having a great weekend! 🙏💜

[@Crazee108]

She speaks so fluently and is so lovely to listen to

[@ip3931]

The line about how individuals ''may give up on their path of education'' gave me goosebumps of relatability.

[@CandiceLMossArt]

Same! That one hit hard. 20 years later, I’m finally picking up where I changed majors and never felt better.

[@StayFocused902]

Unfortunately, same!

[@zekova]

Same! 😣🥺

[@truthspeaks623]

My narc father was a teacher for 40 years. He made sure I got a grade 7 education, nothing more.

[@introusas]

I was raised by a narcissist and never had the luxury of planning for - or even just daydreaming about - my future. Every waking moment was just “How do I protect myself? How do I avoid pain and fear?” It consumed me. And I’m so fucking angry about it that I chose to take my life back. I’m starting school next week at 23 yrs old

[@ninastapley9354]

The aftermath of being in a relationship with a narcissist is something I still struggle with. I’m still trying to shake off things I was led to believe. Thank you for sharing this information reminds me there’s a scientific explanation x

[@Jakob19thmmm]

I was in a narcissistic relationship for many years. Now that I'm free of it, I can identify the behavior quickly. When you're inside of the relationship, it feels like a prison.

[@MrTrollbaby]

Yeh you have different eyes. A handful of conversations and you can be absolutely sure without a doubt.

[@ONETimothy2.12-14]

Yeah and you'll be identifying it everywhere and with everyone that is connected to you in a way that matters. Because you still haven't figured out what your part of the problem was.

[@Jakob19thmmm]

@@ONETimothy2.12-14 I grew up surrounded by them! So, it was normal for me. Learning to expect and receive more from people has been a wonderful challenge!

[@ONETimothy2.12-14]

@@Jakob19thmmm I think your ideas of what that would look like has been wonderful to you. Being around people where your performance or utility matters for any reason at all will prove to be much more difficult to control.

[@annthomson5648]

Or it is a prison

[@thesagedsanctuary1940]

Been following Dr. Ramani for years. Recently dodged a rusty narcissistic bullet thanks to her teachings. When I realized what was happening, a Sista’ went NO CONTACT, immediately. Thank you!

[@Enlighten9096]

Thank you. I am desperately trying to survive having just left and gone no contact from a parental narcissist while first fighting for my life and listening to Dr. Ramani hours daily because her work is the only thing that may be saving my life. Dr. Ramani‘s description at the beginning of this interview is bone, chilling for it is apt, direct, accurate. it is only a scratch at the surface and she is 100% accurate.

[@veilmontTV]

I havnt talked to my mother in years. My brother and I broke contact with her before we knew what narcissism was other than the general idea of it. Looking at my childhood and relationship with my mother everything makes so much sense. I feel peace knowing I'm free

[@Summerhaven97]

I hear you…I distanced myself from a narcissistic mother and can’t tolerate being around her so it ended up being no contact. I found a therapist who asked the right questions and helped me put the pieces together for myself. I was in danger of ending myself because she made me feel like a terrible person. She murdered my soul. Moving in a positive direction but definitely grieving so it is slow going

[@Enlighten9096]

Thank you for what you wrote and taking the time to share. I needed to hear this exactly as you shared and today, of all days. Thank you.

[@gwendolyn79]

I’m so proud of you for fighting for yourself. I’m praying for you.

[@Enlighten9096]

@@gwendolyn79 thank you for words of encouragement. I think the deepest cut of all it’s not being able to save a parent from killing themselves and then the biggest gift has been realizing there is nothing I can do. When my horse leans on me when we’re trimming his feet sometimes I will step out from under him and he will fall because he’s leaning too much of his weight on me. I’m trying to look at this the same: kindly walk away forever and recognize she will either choose to fall or put her other foot on the ground without destroying me and crushing me. Thank you for your kind words.

[@bonnieoliver219]

I am currently under attack by a neighbor who,is a narcissist. It is unsettling,. However, I have educated myself with many lectures such as this. . Thank you for your help.

[@caitlinoneill4479]

Sounds like my scenario. It was a nightmare dealing with my narcissist neighbor in the adjoining townhome with hail damage. The only peace I've had in 4 plus years is when she had a tantrum and announced via email she's not going to talk to me anymore. One of the awful parts is creating flying monkeys with our neighbors. Whole armor of God around me 🙏

[@annabozyk9888]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dr. Ramani for making the distinction that all Domestic Abusers are indeed, Narcissists. I never knew what Narcissism really was, until I started listening to you. My abuser went into a treatment program for Domestic Abuse...and learned to abuse me in ways in which he couldn't get caught, or arrested. The abuse never stopped, because he was a Narcissist.

[@meredithheath5272]

Yup - they are very clever, aren't they? I, also had an abuser - and his family - who cleverly escaped detection, esp. because they were so skillful at lying that they engaged in Swatting - they would abuse me - then call the police - on me! The police even ordered me to undergo a mandatory drug test in the hospital, after I had the anxiety attack, after being Swatted! One of the many incidences of clever abuse.)

[@willow1698]

It's funny that she is the biggest narcissist of all and her content does nothing but breed more of them. But none of them will see it because they're… by definition, NARCISSISTS, lmao. Ramani is just their supply. It's so embarrassing that none of them see it but she's bred the exact audience she wants to create. Constant supply on both ends. Can't say it's not genius. Abusers are abusers, having NPD has nothing to do with it. She's just pathologizing her own disorder because she fears it. She sees herself in it. It's so embarrassing.

[@lloyannehurd]

I’ve seen this behaviour in people who are actually taking nasty advantage of church groups who think they are helping this poor innocent person who can’t help themselves. I’ve also witnessed Burn Out of paid or unpaid caregivers as a result of this. Always be aware!!!

[@sherriflemming3218]

Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker

[@lorrainehewlett984]

My experience was that the abuse got worse AFTER I left with the children. It was a decade of agony after leaving. (It took 7.5 years to get divorced.) When a person has a lack of empathy, they can be unbelievably cruel and vengeful. They don’t care how much they are hurting you and the children. You can’t abuse the mother of your children and then expect it will not affect the children, especially when she is the primary caregiver. The consequences of narcissism reverberate throughout the decades. It is very sad to witness (as a mother who wants the very best for her children and wants them to thrive). I hope that more and more people can recognize narcissism so they can avoid getting into a relationship with a narcissist (whether it is NPD or high narcissistic traits e.g., 4 out of 9). I wish the very best to the survivors of narcissistic abuse. There are many of us out there. Thank you Dr. Ramani for all you have done to educate people about narcissism.

[@derrick7were]

Dr. Ramani saved my life 4 years ago. I thank God I bumped into your channel that time.

[@RobbieMeadows-oz4cx]

Good luck buddy

[@aj788]

She saved my life!!! I have a narcissist sister and I had no idea what I was dealing with. I cried for help so long but no one listened to me as she said "you are so lucky to have such a sister"... I now cut all my communication with her and I never felt so happy and free in my life! I pray with Dr.Ramani for opening the doors for me day and night! 🙏 Please continue what you do, we all need you. ❤️

[@ivoryrosem]

I'm here with you.. I went no contact for 8 months.. now I tolerate her at a distance.. she knows.. that I know.. what she is.. so she doesn't approach me. She abused me from 5 years old.. all through adolescence well until I was in my 30's until I cut off contact entirely.. now she operates around cousins and siblings.. I'm fine with that.. but I'm not the whipping girl anymore..

[@Fellyx222]

Exactly same here.

[@angelitharoyal3391]

Oh my God! Your answer to that last question!!!! I would like to share my story and what i am still experiencing in Jamaica. Thank you!!!! It is true. I am not crazy!!!! No police, church family, blood family, no counselor, no teacher, no pastor, absolutely no one but God and now you. I am and was never alone. Praise God!

[@sarahs5340]

I fervently believe it would benefit our society to teach our children, in an age appropriate way, about personality disorders including narcissism, antisocial personality disorder and substance abuse disorders. I am grateful that I read a book a few years before I met the malignant narcissist I dated. It didn’t save me from the relationship, but it saved me from being more damaged. I was able to externalize his behaviors. Education is just such an important piece for the survivors. These personality disorders are no joke and can be very dangerous. We need to prepare our children for encountering this kind of individual.

[@jenniferwingo5430]

I absolutely agree

[@angelasophia3705]

We have been taught about these people - in books, in fairy tales, great Russian literature is about these people, warning us all the time. You know what it's called - it's called evil. It's all over the scriptures of various religions. We have just santized and medicalized our morality too much to call it what it is.

[@AAXS-op1vo]

I absolutely agree. Children, particularly females, need to understand how the patterns and traps work. We also need to stop with the fairy tales because we are setting our daughters up to walk right into abusive situations. If I had known thirty/forty years ago what I NOW know, I could have had a different response.

[@catherineblair550]

This is an ignorant and cruel comment. I don't think we should teach our children to stigmatize the mentally ill. You can teach about mind games and dark manipulation tactics without demonizing an already marginalized group of people.

[@angelasophia3705]

@@catherineblair550 they aren't mentally ill. they are evil, literally they are demonic. predatory in every sense of the word. to look at them as mentally ill is a delusion that prevents you from seeing the evil. they aren't marginalized - they are vastly more powerful and influential than your average decent person on the street, both interpersonally and socioeconomically. they have no empathy, no conscience, no compassion for anyone. they exploit and destroy without remorse. and they get away with all of it bc no one has the power to combat them or defend against it.

[@B_27]

Something that seems to have been missed in the definition of "a narcissist" is that narcissism is a defence against shame. These people lack the skills to be able face those feelings of shame without it completely destroying their sense of self.

[@meredithheath5272]

Only sometimes. Yes - some people are "hurt people who hurt people", but not always. In my experience, most of these individuals are simply sadistic psychopaths, in it "just for the game of it".

[@jacquedaw]

Yes you are right, people want to demonise narcissist, but it is a defence from shame, and they have very well established defenses that few see through. Most don't want to see it as they are too identified with being blameless victims.

[@catspurr_98]

@@jacquedaw know that we are not demonising the person, only the personality/disorder. if we were to demonise the person we might as well call them possessed. One should however try not to sympathise or empathise with them as that acts as a breeding ground for justifications and rationalisations of their behaviour. the issue is in our own perception unfortunately, if a child would show similar traits we wouldn't justify or pay much attention, but its the being a fully functioning adult that brings on the confusion as a child can't do us as much harm as an adult.

[@jacquedaw]

@@catspurr_98 It is just everyone who has an argument or a break up now labels the other as a narc, there is now a recognised condition called narcissistic victim syndrome. All this polarised good/bad - narc/empath duality does not show the full picture. Yes those with NPD have extreme protector parts who were formed when they were young children so they are immature and can be very damaging in an adult. But it is possible to have empathy and good boundaries. Those who end up victims of narcissistic behaviour usually have poor boundaries, are codependant or people pleasers, so they have work to do on themselves to see why they co create this toxic dynamic. If they don't accept responsibility and see themselves as blameless empaths preyed upon by evil narcs etc, then nothing will change. Both sides have a complete lack of acountability. In fact when someone starts going on about being an empath who is targeted by narcs, their lack of acountability and victim mindset often has me questioning if they have narcissistic traits themselves

[@nittani.]

​@@catspurr_98 you seem like a great person, im not a narcisisist however you spell it, at least i dont think i am... anyways your insight on demonising the narc personality, and not the person, was the right formula I needed to understand . I personally hope that oneday we cross paths and ill help you, because you helped me. And if none has told you this, shame on them You are loved you are kind And even if you cant appreciate yourself or your art. I do. Go and have your self a good year 🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@kittenmitten7360]

I've watched HUNDREDS of Dr Ramani videos on her personal channel, and yet I still learn something or hear something in a different way in EVERY video she puts out and interview she does with other people. LOVE HER!

[@marliessigar7968]

Me too ❤❤❤

[@nwsaTV]

Because this show is better than TV this show deserves more than 5 million subscribers 🎉

[@OneAdam12Adam]

Well, at the time you wrote that, it was 5 million. Now, you will see it has nearly DOUBLED in 3 months!

[@nalosolovideo]

Omg imagine if Dr Ramani had given up her education because of her terrible experience at uni! Because of this one narcissist we wouldn’t have this wealth of knowledge that has changed my life and by the looks of the comments section many, many others! Well done to her! She really is amazing! I’m so glad she never gave up on herself with such odds against her!! Thank you so much Dr Ramani! To anyone reading this you never know the impact your life will have or is having, so please stay true to your authentic self and keep going no matter what! 🎉❤

[@Dara-b4b]

I believe I'm learning the hard way....blessing to you

[@soscreativity]

Reading through these comments, I'm deeply moved by how many lives Dr. Ramani has touched, including mine. Her wisdom and courage inspire us all to face our own struggles and emerge stronger. Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for being a beacon of light in the darkness.

[@MrsSheffield]

I’ve been following her for over 7 years, she’s the best of the best!

[@adabrosier7854]

same and agree💯

[@tfkdandsvkc]

Been watching her since 2016

[@EriPages]

Thank you so much. This is my other account.

[@BBB-rd2qi]

Dr. Ramani saved my life 7 years ago. I found her channel on Utube.

[@willow1698]

It's funny that she is the biggest narcissist of all and her content does nothing but breed more of them. But none of them will see it because they're… by definition, NARCISSISTS, lmao. Ramani is just their supply. It's so embarrassing that none of them see it but she's bred the exact audience she wants to create. Constant supply on both ends. Can't say it's not genius.

[@KatrinAndHerWoolf]

I am so grateful for your work. Being a survivor of a narcissistic mom is so much painful. It is like meeting a death.

[@gemmas5962]

I was in a relationship with a narcissist and was gaslit to the point that I didn’t know who I was anymore. The best decision I made was to get out. Thank you Dr Ramani.

[@sholpikk]

I am so sorry! Same thing happened to me! But I am so grateful that it happened, because now I know how to handle that type of “people”

[@gemmas5962]

Totally! I can smell narcissists and manipulators from a mile off now. Won’t fall for that again!! Sorry to hear it happened to you too but I am glad you turned the experience into a positive one.

[@sholpikk]

@@gemmas5962 ❤️🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@dennyfie]

I was also I did not know what a narc.really was,iam very well educated on the topic now & stoll learning, it was strange.

[@justiceness9-e5o]

Had a friend who was a survivor and they were reduced to a shadow of themselves. Couldn’t make a simple decision and worst of all were so unsure. Information and knowledge is the “only” protection. it can take months to really understand this stuff and once you understand, you will know why they keep going back to their abusers. So many survivors get dropped when their friends find out they have returned to their abusers, just when they need them “most.” Dr Ramani knows her stuff! And was a survivor. There are lots of women perpetrators too but they don’t get as much press. Women survivors are much more open, commutative and vulnerable about their abuse so the perception is that men are most of the perpetrators. It’s a human problem! Men are likely perceived as weak to let a woman dominate/abuse them too. But it’s all manipulation.

[@johnw1167]

In a society like America that breeds and encourages Narcissistic personalities, learning to spot them and how to deal with them is crucial for your mental health and personal safety.

[@georgiakritikos4955]

Yes , these two send mixed signals, especially when he had a porn star teaching about orgasims on his show, so lonely, People

[@shervinjahan3255]

This woman saved my life 5 months ago Now im free and happier than ever !!!

[@meredithheath5272]

So many of us have derived so much strength through her, Dr. Carter, and Andrew's Channel "Narc Daily" ❤❤❤

[@Knowoneknowz]

Not even 2 minutes into the interview.. She is so right, I’ve dealt with narcissists growing up and I was so blinded by it I ended up in a 9yesr relationship right out of highschool with a narc. Not realizing, until I grew after the age of 25 and left that relationship a couple years ago now.. absolutely insane! Thank you for this video ! Truly!

[@alexd1]

Ugh… I wanted to hug her at the end… no matter how strong and capable we are, at the end of the day, we’re human and trauma cuts so deep 😢 kudos to her for continuing with her education and helping others heal

[@cassandraharada3331]

I had a narcissist in my life for about 6 years. This woman's lectures opened my eyes.

[@yaryzacharukova4189]

The videos of Dr Ramani literally SAVED MY LIFE! Thank you Steven for such a great guest and super important topic ❤️❤️❤️

[@Sierra-tyz1]

I am so sorry Dr. Ramani. I’m so pleased to see how far you’ve come. The information you share is so invaluable. Beautiful

[@janamarinaa]

When she explained the gaslighting thing, I got goosebumps. Happens to me in my current relationship a lot and I never understood why I felt this way. Thank you for this episode!

[@joanna0988]

It's so powerful to have this explained because being in a relationship where you are gaslit creates so much anxiety and lack of self trust. I hope you find healing and are able to move away from this relationship 🙏🏻

[@debbridges564]

Part of my healing and recovery. Thank you for info on how to spot the difference: Non-Narcissistic is able to 1) Take accountability; 2) Make Amends & own their Behavior; 3) True Change of behavior and action. Every.Single.Time I listen, I learn. Thank you

[@aliciab4236]

Dr. Ramani is brilliant. Thank you for having her on. This lady has a deep understanding of human behavior.

[@martaleary5598]

This interview blew my mind and clarified so many things I will take as tools for the rest of my life!!! Awesome words !!! Thank you and the doctor for caring and for empowering us all!

[@nomadic_orthodox]

1 in 6 and I won the jackpot 😅 Parents, ex-mother-in-law and ex-husband are narcissists. Watched Dr.Ramani through my journey to break free. Won in court and saved my child’s life. She’s a blessing for all survivors!

[@robinantonio8870]

2 parents, grandmother, aunt, cousin and her kids ,2 sisters, 1 niece, 2 step siblings, 1 stepfather, 3 romantic long term partners, every friend, and every narc in a workplace or social group has targeted me, several bosses, and about 1/3 of clients. Being groomed to be the scapegoat from childhood may have made me the magnet for every narc I came accross, and I only learned about it in the last 9 yrs, but I think narcs are far more common than 20 %.

[@nomadic_orthodox]

@@robinantonio8870 I would say your assessment you’re a magnet for narcs is right, and it seems there are more. But the number 1 in 6 will grow for sure.

[@pz6677]

@@robinantonio8870sure they were all narcs? Some issues/disorders overlap

[@unionunicorn6776]

2 parents, sister, her partner, mother in law, father in law, and potentially even my own partner 💔

[@lindamann4243]

My family is full of them too. There's a lot of experts that follow the theory it's a neurological disorder and not personality, that would make it hereditary. Would make a lot of sense...

[@sacrilegiousboi978]

Narcissists can seem like the most loving, charming and sweet people one minute with one person and then the next minute with someone else they’re mean, rude, dismissive and cold/callous. Everyone has varying moods, but with narcs it’s like they’ve got varying personalities and you’re always uncertain and afraid which one will appear next. They will never admit wrongdoing 99% of the time and even if they do, they will still blame you and make you think you had it coming.

[@Godisgracious85]

Facts

[@JamFlava1]

You choose those men, so deal with it. If you can’t recognize an narcissist, you deserved to meet one because of your naivety.

[@wattsy6303]

​​@iklijkwelgekmetmijneigennaam isint blaming and resenting people who exhibit behaviors we deem as negative, based off faulty or underdeveloped brain chemistry which is largely out of their control in of itself narcissistic?. Why not lead with love and understanding? And if can't do that just don't resound at all?. Empowerment and positivity should not come from billing and shaming others, especially for things they can not control based off your own definitions.

[@JamFlava1]

@iklijkwelgekmetmijneigennaam Ah yes no accountability like in real life, just finger pointing a random person, sigh…..Never your fault because you met them, right? It’s their fault, right? I mean you choose them in the first place? But yet their fault, right? Neem wat verantwoordelijkheid in uw leven en stop met finger wijzen.

[@anarcho-communist11]

People should be evaluated before they're allowed to procreate. Narcissists shouldn't be anyone's parents. All of them are abusive and will abuse their kids and then make a lot of those kids become narcissists.

[@AlKip-qr6zo]

OMG thank you. I feel like crying. I am a 54 year old man. I have spent my whole life attracting The Narcissist. Thank you.

[@syifau1093]

I hope you no longer attract those evil beings!

[@JoshONeill-w8j]

Either ur not setting boundaries r some parental childhood shit where it's all yk. Be conscious

[@real-eyes-realise-real-lie8888]

Bless you. Know exactly how you feel. I'm a 54 year old woman who does the same. X

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

Read : co-dependent no more, no more Mr . Nice guy

[@stevenkovler5133]

I am attracted to them, and then get addicted to them!!

[@Marcel-yt8ov]

This video literally saved me and was the reason I broke up with the, what I thought, the love of my life: I was in a relationship with a person who treated me exactly (really exactly) like this. The explanation of Dr Durvasuala, especially the emotional, vulnerable narcissist, really hit me. My Ex-GF was like this.

[@aprilm.1277]

I know someone who is a narcissist. She knows it, and she's proud of it. She thinks it makes her better than others, almost like a super power. She thinks it doesn't make her a bad person, it makes her a smart person.

[@redridgemedia3771]

So she's a self aware narcissist. In some ways she's right. Depending on her intelligence, the narcissism would encourage her to climb the corporate ladder, crushing anyone in her way, thus obtaining her goals. Again, it's all down to the individual, intelligence, and awareness... I was stung by a narc some time ago, and during my encounter, I always wondered why she made odd comments, and why my energy was always in a certain dynamic... She was 37 but had the emotional Intelligence and conflict resolution ability akin to a 5 year old.... ie silent treatment, gaslighting etc etc... and then I stumbled upon Cluster B personalities and wow..... what a learning curve... Even how my upbringing has set me up to be drawn to them... There's only one golden rule needed when faced with a narcissist. When you know, you go! (Get out, and stay out)

[@Prometheuspredator]

@aprilm, Just to let you know that narcissists are careless and have poor judgement. We have all experienced periods we have made a bad decision or we should have made a better choice. Believe it. She has seen days of accountability and in the future she will do so. The ferris wheel of life is always turning, except when it is turned off by an outside influence or circumstance. It happens to everyone and no one is exempt. Not even her. The variables to a narcissist is extreme codependency, obsessions, severe paranoia, delusions, intrusive thoughts that mimic hallucinations, compulsive behavior, easily manuplated by narcissists that are of the higher end of the spectrum such as the covert/vulnerable narc. vs overt/malignant narcissist (Dark Triad). Or a psychopath.

[@glowieokenney7915]

Divorcing my narc husband in September!! I can’t wait to have my own place with peace after 25 years with this disgusting behavior!!!! I’m officially done!!!! ✅

[@ONETimothy2.12-14]

Almost always a delusional woman behind these comments. Let me guess. You watched hours of feminist content and realized how bad you had it.

[@SherriJ-nl9ng]

I left after 31 years has made all the difference!! Wish you the best along with many blessings coming your way! ❤

[@glowieokenney7915]

@@SherriJ-nl9ng ty

[@miguelsagal92]

10 years here. She is getting served next week. Cross your fingers that she wont put up much of a fight. She is distracted by her new supply right now.

[@glowieokenney7915]

@@miguelsagal92 praying 🙏

[@msfh1991]

When I finally got out of my physically abusive relationship, Dr Ramani was paramount to my healing. She's a life saver.

[@Naturelover00023]

I absolutely loved this conversation and I’m grateful for it. It will be a tool to heal the damage done by a mother and brother that fit A LOT of what’s been described here. Keep up the great work ❤ I live this type of content

[@creativearena]

Dr Ramani saved me 5 yrs back and forever grateful for showing me the path to my new life

[@MsLiveLaughLoveUK]

She opened my eyes. I was having cardiac arrests and started developing unexplainable physical medical problems because my narcissistic abuse and being kept in fight or flight mode for 10 years.. I went through hell not understanding the link between my health and the abuse I was enduring, but ended the relationship when I started educating myself about neurodiversity and narcs; and found Dr Ramani's youtube page. I wish I knew how to contact her. She doesn't know how many lives she has saved.

[@josepablolunasanchez1283]

This why we must reward people who show gratitude, not entitlement. We use to give more to entitled people, and less to those who show gratitude when we give them.

[@Notthecopy]

I have also been stalked and had my things stolen and then brought back. No one believes what you have endured as to anyone outside of the experience, narcassistic abuse is unbelievable. Thank you for validating my experience.

[@s.s.287]

After encountering a narcissist and analyzing later in my life what kind of connection it was, I started to analyze people more deeply and now see all the defense mechanisms, sometimes traumas in other people as well as my own (always start with yourself) and life would never be the same😅 say thank you to the person who’s trying to warn you, not all the people are able to analyze the behaviors, she’s trying to help you to understand, not to blame 1/6 of the world.

[@Rayofgy]

Have listed to Dr. Ramani for a while on YT. Not ever really had to deal with narcissism in close quarters but it has helped me be aware of people around me in order to avoid. Her work on BPD is extremely insightful too. Keep up the good work Dr.

[@hingriduehli2421]

Her work in BPD is so so valuable! I hope she can come back and talk about it next time!

[@ashleyduckworthyt3224]

@@hingriduehli2421same! I’d love for her work to get broadcasted even further!

[@maxspears6030]

It’s so nice reading the comments, knowing I’m not the only one benefiting from Dr. Ramani’s work. I’m so grateful for her persistence. 💝

[@meredithheath5272]

❤❤❤❤

[@echohaapala5894]

Dr. Ramani's videos helped me out of an abusive relationship years ago and feel safe again she is amazing

[@dinochickeynuggiez]

Dr. Ramani really empowered me to cut my mother off over a year ago. I still consistently deal with family questioning my decision and making me feel like a bad person for saving myself, because my mom is "sad" without me. It's a difficult change to deal with, but it is SO much easier than living in fear and walking on eggshells.

[@susanmercurio1060]

I went No Contact for 15 years with my mother. However, I think that she was not a narcissist but emotionally immature partly because she was able to change,

[@nashonharris7805]

Dealing with these types of people is so draining😢.

[@lisettegarcia]

Radical acceptance is helpful in reducing suffering in the first instance but it also helps in that it withdraws power from the narcissist, so they do tone it down when they realize they will be left alone. You have to be careful never to get too cozy, though, because they slip back into old habits very quickly.

[@transitionsnc]

I agree with this. As long as they "don't have you" they will act civilized. But once they feel like you are vulnerable, they will switch up.

[@EgoPlacebo]

I spent 6 years with one of the "vulnerable" types. The gaslighting was insane but I had no idea what it was at the time. 15 years later I am still recognising ways that relationship damaged me and working on repairing myself lol.

[@jKDC1987]

Dr R-saved my life 3 years ago. She’s amazing! I adore her, I often think how many people she’s saved and doesn’t even know the impact she’s had on people’s lives. Still healing, but I’m awake and free !!

[@kalonjeebless]

I swear bro. That's woman is a life saver. I dream to meet her one day

[@therealdeal3672]

1 in 6 equals about 17%, rounded up. Always knew that there is a higher percentage of narcissists than used to be acknowledged. It was a solid 37.5% in my family. Plus a borderline. So fully 50% of my family of origin was cluster B. My whole family life when I was young was unpredictable and unsafe. Have been no contact going on 12 years. Best thing I ever did for myself.

[@BBB-rd2qi]

My family too. No contact 6 years ago.

[@redefiningmyself8598]

10 years no contact with my mum and 8 years no contact with my sisters. I do not regret these choices. For newer people, don't let the FOG (fear, obligation or guilt) make decisions for you ❤

[@petrairene]

Yeah. There are tons of workplace and family tyrants out there that satisfy their narc urges at the cost of their environment. Everyone knows at least one or two. It definitely has to be more than one in ten.

[@anarcho-communist11]

It seems to me like it's less than that but I'd definitely agree at least 1 in 6 people is abusive. And I've felt for a long time that 1 in 3 people isn't really a good person.

[@ijmcnaught]

One parent and one sibling so 40% in my case, then i attract them, figured that out thanks to Dr Ramani she helped me so much understanding thus complex smoke and mirrors pervasive issue.. hard to imagine no empathy, but they exist

[@x-2954]

When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..

[@colingibson8930]

Seems like you are describing a narcissist who is very much on the psychopathic end of the scale. I think there are also 'narcissists' who wouldn't entirely fit with all of those traits.

[@huusepian]

@@lostcause6100 i saw so many anecdotes of people regretting staying with a narcissist... spending years with someone like that takes a toll on you

[@SoSoMystakn]

A narcissist is not only narcissistic to you rather than it’s not personal. Met my ex narcissist at age 20 and reconnected at 45 found it was the same person-ality and behavior after 25 yrs. Didn’t understand what it wasn’t until Dr. R and therapy did I understand the trauma I was experiencing. The damage to the CNS is real!

[@sisterlavender1188]

Wdym giving you access to someone's phone?

[@johnzoidberg9764]

​@@sisterlavender1188looks like some advertisement of "spy" service for cheated people

[@IonaRobey-rv1dq]

Dr Ramani helped me to get out of a relationship with a narcissist before it got too deep, when I was at an extremely vulnerable point in my life after a break up, becoming unemployed and my mother becoming terminally ill all in the same year that covid hit. This person could not have cared less about how vulnerable I was and instead saw it as an opportunity. Thank you Dr Ramani for shedding so much light on this issue so that I was able to escape before that person destroyed any more of my days.

[@kateoverdier8716]

Dr. Ramani is a treasure , a remarkable leader & teacher to millions of us. I feel protective of her upon hearing her darkest day. I hope the person who terrorized her years ago has by now met his comeuppance & some serious judgement. I'm sure I'm not alone in this wish. Rock on, Dr. Ramani, we love you!💖

[@meredithheath5272]

❤❤❤❤

[@newbetsy]

What I can see now is that many wounded by narcissism will see those with just healthy boundaries as narcissistic. I'm recovered from my 20 year abusive relationship, but I remember a neighbor telling me a healthy "no" to listening my Mary Kay sales pitch, and I was so upset, crushed, and felt she was unkind and selfish. Later, she told me she was struggling with cancer and just exhausted. But, I learned within myself, that I HAD healing to do. I have also heard insecure men, call confident women, narcissists. So, a damaged , hurt or "victim mentality" person, is definitely NOT qualified to identify a narcissist. It's so tricky and complicated to work yourself from a victim identity, but worth every excruciating step to clarity. And here, this lovely, smart teacher is for us! Thank you for work, your clarity and your message!!

[@nugget6635]

Victims are usually biased. They have to learn more to take care of themselves. But actually it's a bad idea for a victim to become a psychologist.

[@newbetsy]

​@@nugget6635 I agree, an unhealed victim can become a bully/narcissist psychologist. But, I believe completely in an empathic person (who's been abused or traumatized or even gas-lighted by people they trust) who becomes awake, aware and strong and then lights the way for others. Leah Remini is a great example.

[@scootalong4254]

I really appreciate what you have to say here. I have three close female friends I hang out with, usually all together, I’m the only guy in the group. And it seems that all they can do is talk about how all of their xs are narcissists. It has had me feeling fairly jaded about narcissists. I asked them all if they considered me a narcissist, and we had a long discussion about it and they all vehemently rejected the idea that I was in the strongest possible terms and explained why. However I couldn’t help but feel that if I had dated any one of them and thing didn’t work out they would be sitting around having the same conversation about how I was always such a narcissist. One of them seems. Fairly healthy, the other two have varying degrees of past trauma they are dealing with. One of them has very intense early childhood trauma and a long list of past relationship baggage trauma that they work very hard to deal with. We all talk together about this stuff and they always send me videos from doctor Ramsey. I feel like these videos that they watch prime them to attribute narcissism where it doesn’t exist. Who knows. Maybe the ten people they have dated are all narcissists, but it seems a little bit unlikely. I think what you said about traumatized victims not being the best judge of who is actually a narcissist holds a lot of merit. I hadn’t considered that before, but it’s probably very true. Thanks for the comment, I really found it valuable

[@newbetsy]

One thing to keep in mind is that out in the dating world "narcissists are very successful". Narcissists are charming and like to "win" and get their partners. It could be very likely that your dear friends indeed found that many narcissists, as sad and sickening as that sounds. They sweep us off our feet, razzle, dazzle until we're hooked and then the pain begins. We spend so much time figuring out where our prince charming went and how and what we did to disappoint them 😢. It's confusing and awful to figure it out and disengage. As a victim of narcissistic abuse, we could be healed or unhealed (victim mentality). You would have to gauge that among them, based on how they perceive their lives, other people etc. I'm glad to hear your friends are wise and won't be fooled again. And you're a great friend for sitting with them for their processing of it all! ❤

[@ebbyc1817]

I feel like narcissism is another one of those cases where the (very small) minority has ruined things for a majority. Every misunderstanding is now due to the other person being a narcissist (on social media). Any difference, refusal to conform, is narcissistic. Any refusal to be part of someone else's life is narcissistic. Out of all the people I've known in my life only a handful, about five I would classify as highly narcissistic. It's not 1 in 6. Except maybe among certain groups of people (I don't know what those groups are).

[@Andrewjohnyoutube]

This lady is brilliant. I’ve personally noticed an increase in narcissistic behaviour in the last decade, particularly in young adults - a generation who grew up in an age of social media, and it’s actually understandable why it is so prevalent today. People are no longer just ‘Joe Bloggs’ they’re ‘@joebloggs’, they’re profiles and pages with an inflated sense of self / ego, addicted to the dopamine hit of a like on a post. This is where I believe modern narcissism develops so rapidly. Growing up in a world led by social media grooms narcissistic behaviour IMO. The sad thing is I don’t see a way of stopping it.

[@NatzTalk]

I don't necessarily agree but see your point. I'm not into social media, never have been but I also believe its more about parents keeping their kids humble

[@MeHoyMinoy-cv3ps]

I completely agree, social media has created a huge level of self obsession among young people where they’re presenting something false to who they really are and so focused on putting themselves on display.

[@Shadowman...]

only aliens can save humanity now ~social media will destroy the world

[@1x56]

Dr Ramani is continually saving me from considering toxic friendships and relationships. I felt like she didn't need to share her trauma but thankful she did. I wanted to give her a huge hug of gratitude. Felt the guy didnt show much empathy.... 🔪 Definitely related to triggers and compartmentalising trauma and it coming back. What a healing person to still want to help others when most people are awful 🖤

[@Bonbon-C]

I have been following Dr. Ramani for years..... clearly the best in the field. No one even comes close.... no one!

[@HeyImJanC]

I have never, clicked so fast on a KZbin video. She's fkn brilliant! Thank you for bringing her on!!!!🥰

[@dynamic9560]

I absolutely love seeing all the comments from people whose lives have been changed for the better thanks to Dr. Ramani - mine included! ❤

[@meredithheath5272]

❤❤❤

[@donnamanning1975]

I was raised by one and it was awful. I spent years trying to reconcile it all and mrried the wrong person, raised a family with him, bent over backwards trying to make it good only for it to end in divorce once my kids were adults (recently). I wound up without a degree because I put all my effort into my partner, thinking that is what a wife should do for the husband. I followed the "rules" that I thought would make me a better person. It's a lot deeper than this but it really does wreck you for (in my case) decades if you don't find help or know to find help. I thought I was strong and doing well until I was dying from self-neglect and crippling depression. Life is rough out here.

[@annthomson5648]

I'm so sorry

[@USAtoElsewhere]

You were raised by a narc and married one?

[@USAtoElsewhere]

Also I advise everyone to get the best and hopefully most enjoyable way to make a living as possible. Everyone should have an equal responsibility to earn. They just need good child care if needed. That seems to be the biggest problem plus the woman thinking she should not make a living because her kids need her. As the woman and I am less physically strong than my husband t 31:46 he goal is for me to make a living. Also there are more male narcs than females and males are generally more violent. Women should not give up making a living unless it's impossible.

[@EgleA-u8e]

The narcissistic people will choose partners based on the qualities they do not possess and they envy - kindness, generosity, empathy, care, love. And then they will destroy these people out of spite because they know they can never be that for various reasons. My ex just said - you are too nice, you don`t even know how powerful you are, etc. Never let them devalue you! You are amazing souls being sucked into the empty darkness of heavily traumatized people and I hope whoever went or are still going through this, will find the way back to see your own true beauty!

[@catherineciosi147]

This is totally right narcs area empty people who try to fill themself with the energy and kindness of others. I have been a victim of these narc. They are powerful and destroy, but I find that as soon as their victim stop the relationship and communication. She feels straight away lighter and happier. Don’t stay with a narc…run. Run, run.

[@deanshort9011]

Dr Ramani, I feel compelled to add my admiration and infinite appreciation for your ability to have mastered this subject and suggest actionable ways to navigate a path away from, out of, and ultimately avoid narcs when we encounter them. In response to the question posed by the previous guest, I admire your bravery, your resilience, your authenticity, and offer as well a warm, compassionate, humane, hug for what you courageously shared with the audience. Those fortunate enough to see this interview will be enriched by the valuable and priceless road map you offer survivors of narc abuse. Thank you.

[@MissUnderstood_Mom]

I was with a man for 11 years who was diagnosed by a therapist with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it was awful. The gambling addiction , lying, cheating etc But you know what was tougher than being married to one?? Divorcing one. It literally almost killed me. That was 10 years ago and I still haven’t dated since and I doubt I ever will. I’m so afraid of getting involved with another one.

[@JudithAnn-to9lv]

Same here.

[@kimberlygilbert9364]

Ditto. Getting ready to go through a divorce as well. Any advice??😮

[@Miltonplatypus-rt7mv]

I hope you find peace

[@Kristinnnnnnlaughs]

Same

[@qayfa]

U r not alone, im into div now but yeah, he fight all the way n make u confuse

[@CJ-x8z]

The blame is still there almost everywhere. Some will never apologize and you know who they are and their mindset. It doesn't seem to be in the forefront of most peoples minds. Insidious indeed; the lack of apology in the world, the rise of selfishness, lack of self assessment, reasonable deniability and benign neglect are lessons in learning what not to do in our observance of others. It's a simple reminder to stay vigilant, be candid with ourselves, so we can be more authentic with others. My narcissist also got bored with my authenticity and actually started to feel bad about his behavior while I feel like there have been explosions all around me, phased and stuck in slow motion even though unconditional love made all the difference to him. I take more than my share of responsibility but the weight is exhausting to carry alone as I watched the rise and fall into the slow fade of 1000 paper-cuts, just grief, denial and the anger will help me focus on new challenges, and self discipline in life. Business as usual.

[@annagolden]

Doctor Ramani is a rock star on this topic. She delivers such a concise and digestible verbal portrait on the matter and it's been of tremendous help for me. Thanks so much for having her on.

[@jessicasevilla2529]

I'm so excited to listen to this. I love Dr. Ramani. My assistant manager is a narcissist, and trying to instill doubt in my manager. Now my manager doesn't trust me or my assistant manager, instead of just the person who's actually lying. So wild how narcissists can twist stories to benefit them.

[@farhatf7046]

Past life in an an just harem can change relations woman - woman . You can see that in countries like China , Corea. They give one woman more than the other's.

[@Sam34292]

Been there. If there were such a thing as a gauranteed narcissist free workplace it woukd be divine. But yes they can grab the boss by the short and curlies and hold the grip forever.

[@olikaeras9107]

I'm thankful for inviting Dr Ramani and talking about her phenomenal work. She has been so inspiring and enlightening in helping to deal with narcissists. They are everywhere! The worst kind I've met - a mother,pretending to care,only to manipulate her own kids and use them as pawns to hate the father,the stepmom...never understood how the biological connection could be nothing for these half humans. The book is great!

[@uduakudo8908]

This video has helped Me change the trajectory of My life!!Thank God for this video & others like it!!! I gave in to the requests of the Narcissists before I knew what a Narcissist was.... it destroyed My youth.... & after doing what was required I never got the Love & acceptance! I didnt even realize that I wanted Love from this person.... Im 51 years young & Im just learning how all of this has impacted My life.... I feel more free!!! & when I sense a Narcissist.... I walk the other way... with the quickness