I Finally Read Artemis Fowl

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In preparation for the movie next month I finally found time to read Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer. It retroactively made me MUCH more annoyed at the trailer.
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[@sensiblecryptid4406]

Book Artemis: Cold, calculated villain with room to grow as a person. Movie Artemis: The Gifted Kid™ with trauma™ who's just misunderstood ™

[@winterben5155]

Classic Disney which I'm teribbly sick of.

[@NStripleseven]

Ender123Ben ikr

[@noblebork7444]

I only read the first book but I like this explanation

[@robertcorley5225]

I always thought Artemis, after the first book, read like an anti-villain: he does good things for bad reasons

[@tissuepaper9962]

@@robertcorley5225 Like in Six of Crows?

[@battlesheep2552]

I loved the overall joke of the book’s plot that it was basically about an irish kid catching a leprechaun to get gold.

[@345rexter]

Fuck, how did I never catch that!?

[@skyereave9454]

It's great. His puns are frigging hilarious

[@slogyourgrogyouoldseadog]

@@345rexter I've read every single single book 2 times over, and I only just now got that joke, got verdammnt

[@petrichorrs]

Lmao

[@wasquash]

Honestly, this comment summarizes the plot to the whole 1st book

[@PhantomSavage]

Here's what REALLY happened; Disney: "Been awhile since we've adapted a children's adventure. This Artemis Fowl thing has been floating around awhile, let's buy it!" Colfer: "Thanks!" Disney: "Now let's make our hero movie!" Colfer: "You know Artemis is a bad guy in the first book, right?" Disney: "... wait.. what?"

[@Miniths]

Sounds right

[@cooperminion825]

Also Disney: Screw it. We bought the film rights so we're making the movie our way and you can't stop us!

[@antigrav6004]

This conversation occurred in 2003

[@torunsmok5890]

The first 2-3 books tbh

[@cooperminion825]

@@torunsmok5890 i think by book 3 he's more of an antihero than a villain

[@CausalityLoop]

Not having Artemis being a criminal is like Harry Potter not being a wizard.

[@nathan8750]

The Stig Percy as a regular guy not a demigod. Disney would have made Gabe Ugly af or whatever his name was and made it into a “father-son relationship” movie smh

[@MGSBigBoss77]

Then why the hell was Disney allowed to get hold of the film rights to do the movie? (shrugs)

[@coltonwilliams4153]

I can’t believe they did this. Fowl was my favorite series alongside Potter growing up. I wanted to see him make the People dance to his tune like the devil he is, all to swindle them out of a few tons of gold. I haven’t been this disappointed since The Scorch Trials was released. Like, The Maze Runner was great! What the fuck happened?! I couldn’t even watch The Death Cure cause I knew it would be trash.

[@carltonedwards7297]

I think it's more like Harry Potter not being the main character.

[@kjs8719]

"yer a wizard 'arry" "But .. I can't be a wizard?" "Oh, yeah, yer right. My mistake" The end

[@10DarkAngel01324]

Another detail that shows how little they cared about the book is, in the books, there is a fairy alphabet. There was actually always a text at the bottom of each page that gave a hint about the next book that we could decode. The film instead used gibberish.

[@katherinealvarez9216]

Book Addict ...seriously? They had contest for the readers to decode it. They didn’t use the language that kids could learn!?

[@ArrowOdenn]

You're supposed to read it in a spiral, aren't you?

[@isaacjones748]

they could have just... lifted it... straight from the pages. God dammit.

[@adityaagarwal6640]

So THAT'S what that was? Awesome! But wow this film will be dumb...

[@zoeyouds5892]

@@ArrowOdenn Its written that way in the Fairy Book but eventually the People just started going across the page because reading in spirals was giving them headaches.

[@SomeGunNerd]

To all the Artemis Fowl fans out there: The Percy Jackson fans feel your pain. We've been there, it sucks. At least there's still the books.

[@spiderq848]

When both those series hold spots in your top book series of all time so you just have to cry 😭

[@t.thomas8919]

For every bad apple, there is an orchard of good to be found. One does not need to stop or think that is all left to be had. Hang in there peeps!

[@makoloxko]

At least percy jackson is getting a second chance

[@laurenwilson9383]

Don't forget the horror that was Eragon.

[@MalloonTarka]

As a big fan of both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARHG!!!!!!!

[@adityaagarwal6640]

I got so upset when she said, "Hi, I'm Holly Short, your ally on the other side." in the trailer. The best part of the series was the growth of that relationship. That and the fact that Mulch was working for Fowl Senior are infuriating despite how long it's been since I read the books.

[@tomnorton4277]

Also they gender swapped Commander Julius Root. Judi Dench is amazing but for gods sake, they clearly changed Root's gender just so that they could virtue signal. This movie's going to be DESPISED.

[@dublinjake]

@@tomnorton4277 Virtue-signal is the wrong word for this. "Including surface-level diversity and/or a big star at the cost of removing genuinely progressive conflict and themes," is more apt.

[@surprisinglyblank2392]

@@tomnorton4277 I'm a little confused about your use of virtue signalling here. Assuming they still have the plot line of Root being an absolute hard ass, why would a gender change be used to show progressiveness? Especially if they go the "I was only hard on you because I know from personal experience that the [insert minority] in this field get loads of bullshit so I was trying to toughen you up route" which I am not a fan of. I think this track is just the boss projecting their own insecurities about their power stability and making their employee's job unnecessarily more difficult.

[@Arella17]

Tom Norton Replacing a dark skinned male with a white woman is the opposite of virtue signaling.

[@dublinjake]

@@Arella17 Wait Root was black? Idk if I just didn't read properly when I was 8 or am genuinely forgetting but that's just hilariously awful if you're right.

[@bspitler0]

Hey, just an important note: The first book makes it clear Artemis has been quickly spending the remaining family fortune to find his father. Thats a HUGE difference from just wanting more money for his family.

[@judemartin6329]

Yeah he’s a lot more grey than most people paint him.

[@cayreet5992]

I just reread the book recently and, unlike what I wrote before myself, most of the money was lost when Artemis the First (aka Artemis' father) made his bid for the business with Russia. Artemis is, however, sure that his father is still alive and news of him being found will be on TV any time.

[@abieskyevalin1191]

True, he wants that, but look at the end. Even finding his father don't have that innocent of a readon

[@noabinnendijk361]

From what I remember it was mostly his mother who was spending the money on rescue expeditions, wasn't it?

[@propio2957]

@@noabinnendijk361 His mother was spending money, yes, but on things like charities and beauty treatments. She had gone into denial and couldn't process that the money was running out/that it could be used to save Artemis Fowl Senior

[@kiapet286]

As soon as the trailer showed Artemis surfing I knew it wasn't going to be a very accurate adaptation. Artemis being incredibly physically unfit is a major character trait and a plot point in several books. And the gradually reformed villain protagonist is the entire selling point of the books. They basically removed what made the story Artemis Fowl.

[@mayabailes1653]

The second book is literally just Artemis falling into a bunch of snow and complaining about running and climbing because he can't handle the activity. XD

[@krazyfan1489]

Didn't he almost die by climbing a ladder?

[@shrutareddy97]

I think they mentioned that Artemis liked horse riding in the time paradox. That was because the horses did most of the work. 😂

[@fritothedemon6647]

My first thoughts were the same. He's surfing and sword fighting and totally out of the loop about his dad's work. How are you going to make a story about an established character and then change all of his traits?

[@DGneoseeker1]

Isn't Holly surprisingly tall too?

[@ilyasbasuki3207]

The movie trailer can be summed up in one word. D'Arvit

[@adamofblastworks1517]

It's been a while since I've heard that. Thank you.

[@KOT_AMV]

this is the only thing related to this video that has made me smile.

[@nekonokenshi4450]

If I had the ability to give more than one like I would have used it

[@singenstattatmen5096]

Well put.

[@mastatheif9909]

Lmao

[@artemiswolf4508]

“It appears to be an adaptation of book 1” Always a great sign when you’re not entirely sure what book the movie is adapting.

[@sharkofjoy]

The Expanse is a pretty good counter-example, at least for tv "which book is which season". They mash together many books, like stuff from books two through four or five or whatever makes it into season 1, and it worked very well. The only mashup I did not like was Chen as Praxidike. Chen is way too hot and badass! Sure the plot was less messy, but at the expense of Praxidike, who was a complicated character! I digress. The Expanse is brilliant as a show, and I love the changes almost uniformly.

[@sarafontanini7051]

you'd think it'd be easy to just adapt the first chronological book in a sseries you'd THINK that

[@nhmooytis7058]

Artemis Wolf adapting, unless you’re being droll.

[@usslittle3600]

Read the description of Irish blessing trailer, it says the entire plot lol. Close to nothing to do with the book :(

[@Miyanoai14]

Hilariously enough there seems to be more of book 2 in there...and maybe some of the implications from book 8? (like the saving the world bit and Artemis' family sort of being connected to fairies?)

[@moonknightress5059]

Anyone who thinks Artemis isn't a relatable character, has never been caught between the knowledge that you need to work out more and the complete lack of interest in actually doing so

[@TheGamerApocalypse]

Underrated comment and analogy of character themes

[@valhatan3907]

This comment just sums all my procrastination issue for past 4 years and my default state of being. D'Arvit!

[@Tat011]

Characters don't need to be relatable to be good, quite the opposite, actually.

[@cheshirecat7957]

😂

[@littleman787]

@@Tat011…they need to be unrelatable to be good?

[@thedukeofchutney468]

I’ve never read Artemis Fowl myself, but as a Percy Jackson fan who had the same thing happen I really feel for the Fowl fans.

[@becca7658]

Thanks for the support but at least yours somewhat resembled the book. Movie Artemis was a misunderstood smiling crying friendship loving idiot who surfed had no mother motive or personality. Her was a "good guy" and the entire Leo plotline is trash now because there were girls in the force and Hollys entire plotline is that she's the only girl. The entire movie also ruined Opal Koboi the greatest literary villain ever. The percy Jackson movies were a disaster but when Zootopia represents the plotline of the book better than the actual movie it's on a whole nother level of destruction.

[@grayblacklight560]

Same

[@D123-f9k]

From someone who grew up with both, your comparison is spot on.

[@donsolo7860]

Yeah as someone let down by I Am Number 4, I can relate to their disappointment of a poorly executed adaptation. Not only did they dishonor the fans but also probably turned away potential newcomers.

[@keyman3131]

As a fan of both, my soul is in pain

[@Nevernamed]

Re-reading the books after this video, and I just noticed that the line in the trailer 'Better scared than dead' IS in the book. ...except Fowl isn't talking about himself. He's explaining what he wants done to fairy intruders to his mansion. He wants them scared off, not killed, to send a message. It's fucking abysmal how much the line's been slaughtered.

[@incompleteriver770]

In the movie this is the opposite, the Leps are trying to scare Artemis, not kill him. In the books they just want him dead.

[@timothytosser288]

New gungeon lore vid when?

[@lanturn4950]

I was so hoping that line was being used out of context in the trailer, but nope.

[@kinagrill]

Hey, rumor is often more powerful than just a dead body.

[@butterknife1066]

That drove me CRAZY when I watched the trailer! It was just such an intentional insult to the source material, like it was trying to prove that they had read the book, but were just choosing to ignore it because they thought they knew better.

[@Oveyz]

I met Colfer at my bookshop where I helped with his signing, and did some good rowdy jokes with him, I am a big fan, and he is the sweetest author I've met to date. A fan came wayyyyyy late, everything was gone, but Colfer and his publisher agent were still hanging out talking to us so she approached us... And he recognised her off of her Insta! (tbf she had very brightly coloured hair too). She right about lost it and had a long chat with him. She was clearly super passionate. Cue to some minutes later, Colfer asks me "did you keep that last fan in reserve just to make me feel nice?" mentioned he recognised her, was super glad she'd made it in time, etc, being a sweetheart. He then left and I proceeded to get to work re-aranging the tables after the event... I bumped then into that woman, the fan... And when I said "Oh, Mr Colfer said..." and related his words, she JUMPED. Like you see in anime you know? Like little kids do, with her feet flying up. She was late twenties and that made her so giddy she bounced lol. Never had a customer more please. I got so many thanks layered on me and I wasn't even the event manager. What a happy day all around.

[@absinthespoons]

This is so sweet omg, thank you for sharing. Bums me out even harder that a bad adaptation would happen to his work, though.

[@sharkofjoy]

Thank you for sharing that story.

[@shaitarn1869]

Thanks for sharing. I love it when people (authors, actors, whoever) are nice to their fans.

[@Call-me-Al]

@@shaitarn1869 it's a lot easier to be nice when you don't have a lot of creeps that try to bone you harassing you or negging you. Please give those who work in professions where they have to think of their own physical safety a bit more leeway when they are merely polite and cold instead of warm and friendly. Some people have to behave that way lest they get accused of inviting harassment.

[@nickelakon5369]

Another thing about the books, while Artemis is clearly the antagonist, the Fairy people aren't exactly better, basically for the entirety of the book they are actively trying to kill him, and they plan to literally nuke his house and kill innocent people all just to get artemis.

[@bookworm3696]

Not exactly. As mentioned in the books, the magic used in the hostage negotiation would protect Innocents from the blast. Only the Fowl household would have died in the explosion (if Artemis wasn't an insufferable smart***).

[@nickelakon5369]

@@bookworm3696 his mom is an innocent and is in the house iirc.

[@IamGrimalkin]

@@bookworm3696 Depends what you mean by 'innocents'. If by that you mean 'neighbours', sure. But Juilet would have been killed, and you could argue she was reasonably innocent (Holly regarded her as such). Mrs Fowl was 100% innocent, and Root etc. had no way of knowing she'd left the time stop. Also, if I remember correctly, the Book's technical protocol on hostage situations is: Retrieval Negotiation (using gold in the random fund) Bio bomb as a last resort. The Bio bomb, in this case, wasn't a last resort. They had enough gold in the ransom fund to just pay Artemis off. The Fairy higher-ups were just against it because it would make them look bad.

[@minasthirith6314]

They also didn't want to give away their gold. Not that it helped.

[@andmos1001]

@@IamGrimalkin to keep it simple: both of them where the bad guys that used any means necessary to get what they wanted.

[@lemmythetrash-goblin8291]

To quote Neil Gaiman: "It's pronounced 'Owen', so stop making that noise like a car wooshing past you at the Grand Prix."

[@johnoleary9551]

I know someone named Eoin and he pronounces his name as “Oh in”

[@GriffinPilgrim]

Damnit, I was gonna do that quote!

[@eoin7290]

thank you. u don't understand how shitty it is bruh. ps I'm stealing that qoute

[@dylanchouinard6141]

Eoin Colfer actually had ‘Its pronounced Owen’ as one of the headers of his website

[@frauleinbird]

@@hakasims Garry Potter :D

[@JuanMunzerAsakura]

The Fans: this movie is nothing like the books Disney: there are books?

[@BradenASDF]

That is the perfect way to describe how Disney mutilated this amazing series

[@michaelatanasio223]

Star Wars: "First time?"

[@Kodasa_Sinclair]

Disney: "But there's just not enough source material to work with! So we're subverting you're expectations."

[@z-beeblebrox]

@@Kodasa_Sinclair This is not "subverting expectations". This movie is the exact opposite of that. The original book was already subversion to begin with. In fact, Artemis Fowl as a work is an introductory primer on how to be subvert expectations.

[@Kodasa_Sinclair]

@@z-beeblebrox I'm aware. I was just using the same line Disney used to describe the last jedi. The expectation they're subverting is the one where you expect them to follow the books and/or make a good movie.

[@josephbernados1649]

ugh, the whole point is that he's the villain from the get-go. He's the anti-Harry Potter, that's what made the books so good.

[@keelanbarron928]

...interesting concept. Don't really know how that works but okay.

[@androiddolphin4812]

@@keelanbarron928 I think hes saying the characters a bad guy from the start. Not like harry, who had a good pure soul from the start (that's just how I understood it) Edit:grammar mistakes

[@keelanbarron928]

@@androiddolphin4812 yeah i know. What i mean is how was someone able to make a protagonist so evil but also likable? It's rarely works.

[@evolucario3570]

@@keelanbarron928 With great difficulty. As a nostalgia blind idiot, I was truly taken in by the less white and black of Artemis' actions. It was a childhood's guide to morally grey characterisation, where Artemis was repeatedly let down by his own flaws, irrespective of the fact he was technically a billionaire and a prodigal genius. Ambition, narcissism and an over adherence to logical standings, willfully ignorant of his own morality, provided the foundation of the character, but not his growth. The slow change was what made the books enthralling. He's not a hero, he's a goddamn criminal, and every once in a while, he does the right thing.

[@TheUruse]

@@keelanbarron928 Light Yagami

[@Ray-td4tq]

Dear Artemis Fowl Fandom, We're so sorry about your movie adaptation. We thought our movie was bad, but at least it stuck to the *barest morsels* of the original plot and characters. Our hearts ache for you, no one should have to go through the despair that we did. Maybe you can eventually bully the creators into making a faithful TV adaptation like we eventually did??? Love, The Percy Jackson Fandom

[@yarpen26]

Considering this is gonna be made by the exact same studio that gave us this particular turd, I'd hold off the celebrations until after the show has landed.

[@tristanhartup4936]

The only thing we can hope for now is that in 10 years time (probably) the series could be rebooted as a TV series and finally given justice, again we can only hope.

[@sthirukk]

@@tristanhartup4936 us percy Jackson fans shall pray to the Olympus gods to help you.

[@torunsmok5890]

As a Percy Jackson, Avatar the Last Airbender, Eragon, and Artemis Fowl fan, God I hope it works out. I have zero faith in the Percy Jackson series working out given what's going on with the ATLA Netflix live action adaptation...

[@docondo9127]

That's so kind of you, thanks!

[@lauraboyd8666]

I love Artemis Fowl as a child. He was my first introduction into the anti-hero. The fact that the main selling point of the book no longer exists, is... I mean what's even the point of making a movie adaptation if the main plot doesn't exist?

[@a-blivvy-yus]

Have you heard of "Super Mario Bros: The movie"? Or "DOOM: The movie"? Or the "Legend of the Seeker" TV series (which I was warned away from *by one of the actors on the show* because of how untrue it was to the source material)?

[@HickoryDickory86]

What's the point? Selling tickets based on name recognition alone. That's almost all most studios, game publishers, etc. care about these days. It's why they suck up every notable, beloved IP they can only to turn them unto unrecognizable trash within a few years. They only want the brand power without ever considering and learning what gave that brand its power (especially its staying power) in the first place. 😔

[@Aster_Risk]

@@HickoryDickory86 A lot of the fans of the original book are my age now, late 20s and 30s, so they were absolutely hoping to cash in on our now grown adult nostalgia money.

[@halodragonmaster]

If it wasn't for artemis fowl, I might have not enjoyed "Arifureta: From Commonplace to World's Strongest" as much as I did, especially with the characrer Kouki in the series.

[@Miniths]

@@Aster_Risk theres uz younged 16-20 fans here too we even had a fanclub lol

[@calemr]

You mentioned how Commander Root was gender flipped, removing the fact that Holly is the first female LEPrecon member, but I just want to point out how in the books, Root was originally suspected of being sexist towards her with how hard he pushed her, and later it's revealed that he A: Wanted to make sure Holly is good enough, to make sure she Doesn't badly represent the idea of female LEPrecon members, and B: Threatened his bosses that he'd quit if they tried to stop her from getting hired based on her gender. Holly's discovery of this was a major character arc between the two, and that first point explains and deconstructs WHY Root was such a stereotypical hardass boss who'd constantly demand perfection from her. But nah, let's throw all that out... Some executive probably thought genderflipping a person in charge would be "That progressive thing I keep hearing about" so threw out the entire story arc about a woman breaking the glass ceiling in an actually sexist society... Good Job Disney.

[@andrew23456able]

and that's on performative wokeness

[@fermintenava5911]

Maybe they thought it was too similar to Zootopia. But Trouble Kelp is apparently gender-flipped as well.

[@mojolotz]

I have not read the books not have i ever heard of the universe before now but from how you describe it that plot could still work provided Root is THE ONLY female officer in the LEPrecon and she is making sure the second one holds to her standards...

[@sirgentlebread7302]

@@mojolotz Now that's just making excuses that won't work

[@darrienjones8917]

@@mojolotz I actually believe that could work, but it would be idiotic to do since the book already gives you something to work with there. I feel like doing the book way has a better message than doing it the way you suggest they could do it, and I would say in this instance this is the only time I care that they genderflipped a person, because the plot makes more sense if they didn't.

[@Feasael]

As an irish Fowl fan, you did not garble it. I am astounded Dom.

[@jonathanstmartin]

I, and many Americans I believe, have for years been mispronouncing it as "Ian".

[@hannahohno]

@@jonathanstmartin I had been pronouncing it Ewan... -.-

[@MinimalistTheatre333]

I read Artemis Fowl. I enjoyed Artemis Fowl. It is a shining example of children's literature and the only children's author from my country. The film can only be described as thus. Piosa cac. Teastaíonn a gcuid liathróidí ceangailte le ceallraí gluaisteán ó na daoine taobh thiar de seo. Conas a leomh duine ar bith fantaisíocht eipiciúil leanaí eile a scriosadh! I wish you goo day, beautiful watchers.

[@essneyallen6777]

@@MinimalistTheatre333 if "scriosadh" is an insult it's the best insult I have seen in a while xD

[@MinimalistTheatre333]

@@essneyallen6777 'Piosa cac' is the insult.

[@dandydeadpool]

The trailer was not misleading. The film was utter, utter trash

[@crocuslament9680]

It was misleading. There was that shot of the alcoholic fairy that was just not in the movie.

[@malladipradyumna7035]

the trailer's better than the film. The film is really really bad. like i could not believe they even released it....

[@angelicsailor1st]

What's funny is only two scenes from the trailer are even in the movie and I say movie loosely considering there was no plot and nothing really happened the first act was the whole movie nothing really significant happens

[@thatspoonybard8013]

*"We're your friends, Artemis"* No, Holly. No you're not. Not for a looong time.

[@catthemeg336]

@@thatspoonybard8013 Ya gotta wait another four books and several years, Holly. Patience is a virtue, my friend.

[@tchukkelz2246]

"Artemis needs to be good before he can be bad." Prince Zuko: Am I a joke to you?

[@alestrius]

And it's not even like Disney doesn't know people can like villains/antagonists. Loki was the most popular character in the Thor movies for basically ever, and probably even is still to this day.

[@Minihood31770]

I totally read that in Zuko's voice.

[@aitsamurunga7503]

I'm a simple person. I see Zuko, I like 👍😂

[@figs-oliomedley]

Zuko used to be innocent tho??? Are we not counting him as a child

[@batfan1939]

You saw what happened when that was adapted.

[@Dusxio]

I'm not sure what it says about me, Dom or my familiarity with him that I fully expected him to be polishing an actual sword after a cut and only realized it could be an innuendo when he mentioned it XD

[@myah528]

same

[@ellchenelle1682]

oh thank gods someone else thought that.... i wanna like this post so much but it sits at a 69 which seems rather appropriate

[@WolvenDragonZ]

Ditto.

[@ianmoone1412]

yup.

[@Alphasnowbordergirl]

I expected an actual sword too.

[@ronanelliott9709]

Artemis Fowl fans: "This movie looks horrible!" Percy Jackson fans: "First time?"

[@shrutareddy97]

No it's the third time 😭. Eragon, Percy Jackson, and now Artemis Fowl

[@mastatheif9909]

They didn't have books as good 😏

[@zeromaniac5210]

@@mastatheif9909 ...😐😑😔

[@audreyulrich9214]

@@shrutareddy97 I would add Ink heart to that list lol

[@j24030]

last airbender fans: thats rough buddy 😔

[@AsbestosMuffins]

they literally just had to make diehard with fairies but that was too complicated apparently

[@xyro3633]

I understood that reference

[@EvilSandwich]

I'm a person who has zero exposure to the books. *hears Dom talk about the plot* I mean, that seems like a pretty nice small-scale and easy thing to adapt, what could they possibly do to mess up something that simple? *watches trailer* Oh. Oooooh. Oh jeez. Oooooooooooooh. Oh God, I'm so sorry Artemis Fowl fans. I'm so very sorry. That... that really sucks for you... God, what happened?

[@micahclark3606]

Same for me as well. Yet another Eragon.

[@Glimare]

@@micahclark3606 Not quite another Eragon. there's 8 books written by a pro already out for Artemis when they started making the adaptation. there was only the first book for Eragon at the time, written by a teenager. A lot of Eragon fans left on their own cuz he books didn't get much better and started to drag (severely needed editing), but Artemis fans just kept getting hyped by the books. But the sentiment is pretty much the same in some aspects.

[@edwardwestmoreland-caunter6128]

It is honestly painful. I grew up with the books and have been waiting for the film for years. Seeing the trailer was genuinely heartbreaking and infuriating. I had hoped that after Harry Potter and The Hunger Games, filmmakers would have realised the absolute goldmine that is following the book. But apparently not

[@Krixwell]

"small scale and easy thing to adapt" - yeah that's the dumbest thing about all of this. The first book is possibly *the* most easily movie-adaptable book I've ever read. It's got perfect pacing for a movie and a nice and standalone plot (that still leaves room for the seven sequels of course) that could easily become a decent length film without needing to cut or change or add much. And then *this* mess happened.

[@elizabethtrudgill8226]

@@edwardwestmoreland-caunter6128 And the books aren't even that long so there shouldn't be any excuse to change so much.

[@thewildcard600]

Mr. Colfer: shows the reders respect Disney: doesn't want to confuse dumb children with the concept of morally gray characters as the lead

[@amberlyveil8856]

More likely, doesn't want to upset parents that underestimate their own children

[@thewildcard600]

@@amberlyveil8856 also likely indeed edit: it seems i am not the only person noticing the decline of content that challenges (but by no means overwhelms) the minds of children. everything has to be easy to chew these days. dear producers, children are NOT stupid!

[@williambrown319]

It's Disney. Everything shown must be black and white. Everything behind the curtain on the other hand

[@michaelleoanrd194]

Even then, why not cast Holly as the lead and just have Artemis be a villain with a redemption. They’ve done it before.

[@merrittanimation7721]

@@michaelleoanrd194 Because the series is named after him.

[@soysaucerb]

A day after watching the trailer, I realized what happened. They are making an adaptation of a tried and tested story, but that story isn't Artemis Fowl- it's Spy Kids. Parent(s) disappear, but it turns out that they were kidnapped by a mysterious entity because they've been leading a double-life of mystery without their child(ren)'s knowledge. The kidnapping, however, prompts a guardian figure to draw the child(ren) into the center of their parent(s) double-life, granting them the resources needed to rescue the parent(s) and save the day.

[@TriforceKeybladeSkykid]

Holy shit, your right!!! Which, as a fan of both things, makes this even worse!!

[@BallerinaValkyrie]

I did not see that but you are so right . I love spy kid and have watched all the movies and you are right

[@AelTheRomulan]

*blinks* Spy Kids was actually my first exposure to Artemis Fowl as a smol (didn’t read till middle school tho)...there was a trailer for the books on my spy kids vhs.....

[@leek.3671]

Oh my goodness... you are so right!! 😱

[@SamanthaLaurier]

You're absolutely right, and I hate that you're right.

[@TheLuckyKira]

So. When the casting call first came out, I remember ranting about the words they used to describe Artemis. I opened my very old copy of the first book (it's so old, it has the old glittery cover and everything, holy shit I just checked, it's almost 20 years old, guys this story was published almost 20 years ago and this is how our love for this lil gremlin child genius is repaid), and read the prologue. And guys. I think you all know what I'm going to say... Clearly anyone who worked on this film didn't even read that. In the first PARAGRAPH of the PROLOGUE, it talks about how he sent the greatest medical minds gibbering back to their own hospitals. That's not a good person. In the slightest. And in the first chapter, he literally talks about how Butler could kill Nguyen a hundred different ways without the use of his armoury. I just. The book clearly displays why Artemis is not the good guy. Artemis Fowl's journey was always about him becoming better as the books go on. At first, he's pretty much forced to work with Holly over and over to her dismay. He discovers not everything is as it seems. I don't know, there's just a lot I'm mad about. The biggest tragedy is that we're probably losing out on Holly and Artemis's rivalry, and the realisation now I'm older that Holly, an adult fairy, has a rivalry with a human child. It's hilarious. (I kid, the biggest tragedy is this is just a train wreck and I hope Disney is prepared for Artemis Fowl fans to be disappointed everywhere.)

[@crocuslament9680]

The biggest sin this movie committed was calling Butler 'Dom' the whole time. Like NO ONE CALLS HIM DOM. EVER. EVERYONE CALLS HIM BUTLER. JUST CALL HIM BUTLER. I INSIST ON REFERRING TO LITERALLY EVERYONE BY THEIR FIRST NAMES AND I CALL HIM BUTLER.

[@codebracker]

@@crocuslament9680 Yeah, the fact that he revealed his name in book 3 was a super dramatic plot point and used to recover his memories later and they just ruined it

[@rustybryant1363]

Am I wrong or did holly and artie also have a little romance. I'm pretty sure they kissed at least once. ( been years since I've read it.)

[@Fisinocean]

@@rustybryant1363 ...isnt it more platonic, sibling love than romantic one?

[@LordPyro25]

Rusty Bryant They kissed in one of the later books in a brief moment but they never actually get in a relationship

[@spencerd6126]

You didn’t mention the best character, Foaly, who is single handedly keeping fairy technology ahead of human technology. Plus, he would use a vpn, so it gives a great segue

[@obliviousotterI]

Foaly is best donki boi and I love him

[@elizakohl8922]

Now that you mention it, actually, where the hell IS Foaly in these trailers? We’ve seen just about everyone except him and Angeline, whom many people are already suspecting dies in the movie.

[@usslittle3600]

Read the description of Irish blessing trailer, it says the entire plot lol. Close to nothing to do with the book :(

[@NoArtisticLimitation]

I was sad to not see him... and also relieved he’s hopefully exhempt from this dumpster fire.

[@whiteraven562]

heck foaly would probably invent his own vpn

[@Kayizcray]

I think Disney didn’t want to take any story risks - except that was a great deal of what made up, you know, the whole story. Immoral main character, rampant sexism, mental illness and family issues. Artemis Fowl was good because it actually talked about those things. I know it’s The Brand™️, but Disney needs to stop cleaning up all the stories that it makes movies out of to the point of removing all substance.

[@Appletank8]

Hell, that’s a problem with most of their Remakes.

[@blackflamefegari5756]

Welcome to the modern world. Where we decide to soften our stories so that children don’t feel bad

[@seanhartnett79]

Black Flame Fegari yeah, and that is why when I have kids the only thing they will watch is old school and hard core stuff.

[@andronikoswendsofchange1151]

Disney has always cleaned up the stories for their movies. Pinocchio, The Little Mermaid, Tangled, and Frozen are just a few examples of movies based off of stories that were either darker or more mature than was presented in the movies. If you want to read the original stories for comparison: The Adventures of Pinocchio, Carlo Collodi The Little Mermaid, Hans Christian Anderson (Anderson's Fairy Tales) Rapunzel, The Brothers Grimm (Grimm's Fairy Tales) The Snow Queen, Hans Christian Anderson (Anderson's Fairy Tales)

[@JohnDoe-hr4cf]

@Sean Hartnett I’m gonna show my nieces and nephews Lilo & Stitch, if I get any. Funny, Back To The Future kind of reverse predicted the future with their second film. Everything looked so great in that, but now, we just have stuff like this.

[@totaldramagamer5521]

Title: I finally read Artemis Fowl Me: Ah, don't feel bad, it's something that can't be said for the director of the movie.

[@shadenox8164]

Givrn their body of work not sure this mess wasn't the studio meddling.

[@omegamysterio3701]

@@shadenox8164 The director has gone on record of being one of the main factors in the decision, I have no doubt the studio and writers were also involved but the director is not innocent either since he was worried that a movie focused on a villain might be to much for people to handle...

[@anaperez5442]

On something that can be said for the screenwriting team & the studio execs.

[@ironvader502]

@Pşỷĉĥớ potato Na, even an 8 Year olds summary would have been closer to the actual book. It seems more like they just searched for keywords in the Book without reading a single actual sentence.

[@cassied.6731]

The best part of Artemis Fowl was that he was literally a Mary Sue well-rounded antagonist, except he started catching morals and became a hot mess of a good person after a number of books. Think about it: he's a genius, he's incredibly rich, he comes from a criminal family, he has a tragic backstory, he has that one person he seems to care about despite everything, and he has some crazy good tech and bodyguards. He's a very good but very stereotypical villain, except he's the protagonist and it's wonderful, and his character development is insane and insanely good as he goes from bad guy to good guy. In the time travel book you literally get a side by side comparison of current Artemis vs first book Artemis, and it's amazing.

[@becca7658]

The existence of Opal is amazing and even though the plot of the last few book a are a bit of a bit mess everything about it is brilliant and amazingly well exicuted

[@gnarcissist7669]

There’s a time travel book? I haven’t read any since the one where he goes to Chicago to steal the cube thingy I gotta catch up.

[@sanjotsingh7427]

I remember, one of the subtle themes that I really loved in the books which was explored more in the 4th book, was the growing morality of Fowl. In it he highlights that after decieving his mother and his Principal, he actually felt a pang of regret, lying to his mother. He also say that before,it wouldn't have hurt him as much

[@cassied.6731]

@@gnarcissist7669 There's actually a few that dabble in time travel, some more than others. They're all in the last half of the series, though. The time travel is a major plot point, but is introduced so early in each book it's in that saying so isn't spoilers. One if the books is literally called "The Time Paradox."

[@gnarcissist7669]

Cassie D. Thanks now I need to read everything that came after the 3rd book

[@eumorphavonobscura2753]

I didn't read the series until I was an adult. I was going through a young adult phase because I needed books I could read in between customers at work. Most of the books I read during that time were kind of dumb. But Artemis Fowl surprised me. It felt like a very complex adult book that had been cut down for a younger audience. But not in a terrible way. The main character was not some simple kid who suddenly is magic or such. He was a child who was raised for greatness and felt slighted. He had a certain amount of moral compass, but was not above getting his hands dirty to get what he wanted. It was rather brilliant since it strayed so far from the tropes that have dominated fantasy young adult for so long. The world was well developed and believable. It left me a then 35 year old man devouring the books as I bought them. And yet were accessible enough to younger readers to have a huge following. Now this trailer shows me a complete lack of understanding over what made this series a best seller. In my opinion Covid likely did Disney a huge favor as direct to streaming will likely save them the huge flop I expect it to be.

[@fredd9340]

Though I feel like it would better be a flop so it can send a message to Disney about what they've been doing wrong with all the movie-adaptions they've made.

[@elizaott8160]

I have almost the same story ! I'm almost 20 and i decided to finally read the book after seeing people talking about it because of disney's adaptation. I was so surprised by how good it actually was, not talking to kids as if they were dumb, and respecting them ! I talked about a lot of mature theme in an intelligent and understandable way ! I have read A LOT of kid and teenage fantasy books, and Artemis fowl was definitely different and so much better than most of them.

[@nathandrake5544]

I grew up reading them as a kid and I stopped at the sixth book. How do the final two stack up?

[@WaywardVector]

@@nathandrake5544 amazingly

[@sworntoavenge]

Disney f***ing up a well written cherished series? Hmm. Must be a day that ends in 'y'.

[@BapoBoompa]

Sounds like just a regular Tuesday.

[@bobobo7730]

Hans christian Andersen agrees with you

[@oreo1749]

Wait I never noticed that... crap what have you done

[@jetpackdog3427]

_n i c e_

[@kirstenpaff8946]

It's been ages since I read the Artemis Fowl books, but my immediate reaction to the trailer was "Why isn't this kid a snarky little asshole?"

[@mayabailes1653]

Sticking to plot worked for Harry Potter. Sure, the fourth film missed out three major characters, but they managed to make the plot and characters still work without them.

[@hyronvalkinson1749]

@@mayabailes1653 If this was typical of Hollywood, Snape would've died to Quirrel to save Harry in the first movie.

[@Zyquux]

@@mayabailes1653 If it comes down to it, I think cutting characters/plots and making the story work without it is preferable to changing existing things since that fundamentally changes the plot.

[@Leader7353]

You clearly haven’t compared book Ron to Movie Ron before. In the Books he’s a Smart, funny guy who is best friends with Harry. In the Movies he’s just a funny sidekick that is... there. Scenes are given to Hermione or he just awkwardly stands in the background. And that’s only his character. Seriously, it really did not work in Harry Potter. The movies are okay at best with stunning cgi, but they miss the concept of the characters

[@GamesCourier]

yeah I think I also liked him because he was basically a more criminal Kaiba with a great Butler

[@HanaOccasionally]

I did not spend my 6th grade summer learing Gnommish and translating every page from every book available to me at the time for them to put random gibberish instead!!! This was the book series that got me into books and love reading! The second I saw the trailer for the movie I was heartbroken

[@Anonymous-zf2pu]

I spent all summer once decoding the gnomish. Be warned one of them is about stinkworms

[@tiffanyofthebooks]

My brother did the same thing as you as a kid.

[@Wirrn]

"Reactions to the trailer ranged from bad to heartbroken" You missed APOPLECTIC RAGE OF THE SORT THAT MAKES ROOT LOOK LIKE A ZEN BUDDHIST

[@RAFMnBgaming]

Hey, I learned a new word today. Thanks stranger.

[@cayreet5992]

I laughed out loud at that, knowing Beetroot.

[@Wirrn]

@@RAFMnBgaming Which means at least *something* good came of this abomination!

[@cdmonmcginn7561]

i spazzed between rage, confusion and sadness

[@adamofblastworks1517]

AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I was so pissed after seeing the trailer that I *immediately* told the rest of my family, who are also big fans of the series, to not watch the trailer, or movie, and to preserve their memories of it as they currently do.

[@RoseKoneko]

It feels like when we first saw the trailer for Death Note. Everyone complained and people in charge kept saying it was an over reaction and wept over how mean people were when they triiiiiied to be true to the booooks. Then it came out and it was as terrible as everyone thought it would be. If not worse.

[@RiazGT]

It also heavily reminded me of World War Z. Before then I had only once experienced genuine hatred and disgust towards a movie adaptation and its writers/producers so it wasn't entirely surprising but still a shocking experience. The first movie was the Dragon Ball adaption btw. It's sad that DB/Z was my favorite anime as a kid and the Zombie Survival Guide/WWZ, as well as Artemis Fowl, were in my top 10 favorite books. Sadly, I'm probably used to this now.

[@RoseKoneko]

Luke Douglass I don’t know man, they’re adapting the Silmarillion. There’s a whole new chance to fuck it up worse.

[@RoseKoneko]

RiazGT UGH. I keep forgetting about World War Z. That they called that an adaptation is a big fat middle finger to an actually really clever book.... We do not speak of the DBZ movie. It must be forgotten. Avatar the Last Air Bender was a better adaptation.

[@KimJungSparkle]

Just imagine if the first Harry Potter movie was this bad.

[@nkechi4635]

@Emperor Ssraeshza This is a weird comment. L's race was not part of his "core character" at all. You could swap out the color of his skin in the manga/anime but keep his nationality and the plot would progress in exactly the same way.

[@Meggiesoarsrex]

For everyone who's has had a childhood favourite book butchered by hollywood: I'm sorry Artemis Fowl fans

[@harshiniyedevelli5278]

It especially hurts when you have it happen to you multiple times and are just hoping for this one to be decent and then when you go to watch it it rushes all your hopes and dreams

[@theneonseal6792]

@@harshiniyedevelli5278 Much like adaptations of all the Victorian classics. None get them right, and most often change the story enough to only be associated in name only. *I'm looking at you, Dracula, War of the Worlds and Frankenstein adaptations.

[@YBPaladin]

As a fan of series of unfortunate events, I think I got off okay

[@CBoy92]

Just putting this out there, I have not and will not watch that monstrosity calling itself an adaptation of the Wardstone Chronicles. I think I would rather be shot.

[@jmann6130]

yep first Percy Jackson Now Artemis Fowl thank god Lemony Snicket managed to avoid being a hot mess (not perfect but not a hot mess)

[@teetnus3458]

I still can't believe how much the characters got butchered, especially Artemis, root, opal, and Butler. ESPECIALLY Butler, I mean, in the books he literally beats the shit out of the troll with his bare hands

[@jaredazevedo2779]

Well, no. In the books, Butler first tries and fails to kill it with bullets to the front. When he tries again, he dons a set on antique Knight armor and grabs a mace. Suitably armed and armored, Butler proceeds to systematically beat the troll in melee combat.

[@teetnus3458]

@@jaredazevedo2779 that's true, but I was more referring to the part where he discards the mace and starts bashing the trolls face in with his gauntleted fists

[@slogyourgrogyouoldseadog]

@@teetnus3458 I WANTED TO SEE IT ANIMATED SO BADLY! But it was literally just an fucking eternity of flailing around and B rated suspense and shit action.

[@teetnus3458]

@@slogyourgrogyouoldseadog Yeah, compared to what a good movie is it was a train wreck, compared to the book it was an absolute piece of shit, compare just the two troll scenes and you just have to wonder what the actual fuck Disney is thinking

[@slogyourgrogyouoldseadog]

@@teetnus3458 I know, if they had just done the movies in a series from books 1-5, the success would have been fucking phenomenal, but nooo, that will take to long and I need my shill money now!

[@fashionablechangeling1988]

True story here: I live in Ireland and I was really excited when I heard about the movie. I was a big fan of the books growing up. (Not as much as Percy Jackson but still a big fan) I was even more excited when I heard about auditions being held close to where I lived. I was one year too old but I look young and I otherwise looked the part. My mom drove me to the audition, and even though I had years of acting experience under my belt, as you can probably guess I didn't get the role. Looking at the two trailers though, I am glad I didn't get the role (although I do hope that poor kid doesn't get bullied online. I met him at the audition and he was a really nice guy)

[@twentywordsorlessYT]

Yeah, that's my fear - that he'll get Jake Lloyd-style shit from the fandom.

[@janara1320]

Poor Jake Lloyd :(

[@tommerker8063]

@@twentywordsorlessYT artemis fowl fans seem a lot less toxic then star wars fans though

[@Call-me-Al]

@@tommerker8063 different kinds of people get attracted to it than those that cling on to star wars, plus fewer cranky old assholes going "YOU DAMN KIDS, RUINING MY CHILDHOOD"

[@NoArtisticLimitation]

I don’t blame any of the actors. I’ve seen enough to know better...

[@mcsatans5120]

"Respecting your audience's intelligence" should be an engraved in stone rule.

[@soni-switch5207]

And that's why I hate the Star Wars sequel trilogy.

[@MGSBigBoss77]

"Respecting your audience's intelligence" should be an engraved in stone *At the Disney Studios!!!*

[@julieness5820]

This was the series that helped me get into reading. Being severely dyslexic I always struggled reading but Colfer's writing style and witty language made it possible for me. It's been my favourite series since I read the first book at age 12 back in 2005. It still is to this day and well I'm not overly optimistic about the cinematic adaptation.

[@artemisbaker6990]

I had a similar experience, it also helped me manage my autism (and to an extent my gender identity) as I saw alot of myself in Artemis and was able to understand myself better through reading about him.

[@julieness5820]

@@artemisbaker6990 I am also autistic actually (Asperger's syndrome). I did relate to him too, mostly because no adult took me seriously no matter what I said.

[@elizabethtrudgill8226]

Same. I actually read the second book first as I couldn't find the first one in the shops, it made me laugh out loud in places.

[@tessy4018]

Same, but with ADHD. Rick Riordan has had the same effect.

[@obliviousotterI]

OF COURSE THEY THROW THE ASPIE REPRESENTATION OUT THE WINDOW, WHY WOULDN'T THEY

[@chrism95]

Good news: trailer wasnt accurate Bad news: movie was much, much worse

[@projectnightfall6882]

So Zootopia looks to be a better version of Hollie's story than Disney's actual adaption?

[@Azrael_Equinox]

Omfg it actually will be

[@c0ronariu5]

Omg I knew I wasn’t the only one to get Holly vibes from Zootopia!

[@Kari_Grey]

...omg how could I not seen it

[@JameZayer]

I mean, if Nick Wilde kidnapped Officer Hopps and then later worked to solve the savage animal cases.

[@Miniths]

@@JameZayer been the better adaption lol

[@Lobomaru02]

A children's book series with a villain protagonist? *Vizzini voice* Inconceivable!

[@NicholasRSims]

Would Scrooge count ?

[@t.thomas8919]

He always came off as an Anti-Hero. To a point, but if things were allowed to be darker in an adult setting... probably villain? *shrugs* Either way, the trailer was not enticing to me. Skip.

[@LydiaTarine12]

"Isn't that one of the biggest advantages to an adaptation? You know the story will be popular because it already _is_. It's tried and tested already!" This is my mantra every time I see an adaptation that strays massively from the source material, especially if there hasn't been (at least a widely known) faithful adaption before. Why do studios so rarely trust the stories they've deemed worthy of adapting? I understand that changes have to be made, but so often the changes that are made make it seem like the studios just can't trust the story!

[@maymay5600]

i'm trying to write a book and put it on wattpad for it to one day get many reads and views and one day become a tv series or maybe a movie? i have other stories i haven't fucking even tried to go to pass chapter 1, i always leave them there and i realize that there is alot of competition on wattpad

[@samgonzalez8662]

I’m of two minds when it comes to adaptation: if you’re going to stick to the source material, STICK to the source material; if you’re using the source material as an inspiration, you’d better be telling a GOOD story. The truth of the matter is that some stories or elements of those stories aren’t suited for adaptation (what worked in a book might not work in a film or a series) but the choices must be conscious and service the story being told above all else

[@doubledee8677]

Unfortunately it does work some times. THE HTTYD films stray humungously from the series (which is why I've no interest in it) but is still massively popular.

[@gabrielclark1425]

Right, the only changes that should be made should be to give insight into the characters thought process. Since you know, in the books you're basically in their head.

[@irka8298]

Just my opinion, I was thinking maybe they changed certain parts of the story so that those who read the book can experience (I forgot the exact term) other plots. I'm a book reader myself and when a company like disney makes an adaptation of a book that I read, I'd like to experience something new. Just my opinion though. I'm not everyone and not everyone is me 😅

[@animelytical8354]

"I'm Holly Short. Your ally from the other side". Huh?! Yowzers I only vaguely remember reading Artemis Fowl...but bloody hell that's all wrong.

[@marcogypaetus9607]

You can't really imagine this Holly calling him mud boy, ever.

[@slogyourgrogyouoldseadog]

They made root, a die hard badass who chewed cigars, kicked ass and actually had a good character... who is a MAN... Into a woman whose definening trait is literally just generic commander number three million and thirty five. Now, I have nothing against woman actors and the such, but that ain't fucken how you do it.

[@curiousKuro16]

When I first saw the trailer all I could think of was 'If you want to tell your own story, TELL IT, don't hijack someone else's.' It made me so upset to see them ignoring all the fantasy and excelent characters for generic schlock.

[@qwertyTRiG]

Have you seen the publicity shots from BBC America's "The Watch", which apparently have some vague connexion with Discworld?

[@curiousKuro16]

@@qwertyTRiG I have not! But that sounds really interesting; do you think i can access that in the USA?

[@qwertyTRiG]

@@curiousKuro16 They've just released some photos. No trailer yet. But with every dribble of information it seems to have less and less to do with the books.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

@@qwertyTRiG "America" Now that's your problem.

[@xeveemon]

Again, this is Disney. They are known for taking old fairytales and books and turning it into their own versions which leave out harsh, messed up elements and dark elements too and are known to change the ending into something happy. Yet you all just now are saying that they should make up their own stories and not copy someone else’s. Like what about The Little Mermaid? Snow White? Sleeping Beauty? The Hunchback of Notre Dame? Frozen? Why are these okay with you people, yet this isn’t?

[@andyenglish4303]

...Wow. Artemis Fowl *wishes* he had an adaption faithful as Percy Jackson.

[@gabrielclark1425]

Yeah, at least the plot points were _mostly_ the same. Here though? Not so much.

[@youngcrazycatlady4806]

Like the PJ movies at least kept all the major characters the same without gender swapping or straight up dropping people

[@RosesGreen]

@@youngcrazycatlady4806 I mean, they did drop Clarisse from the first movie. But this is DEFINITELY worse.

[@incompleteriver770]

The First PJ movie was ok due to the fact that it mostly followed the book. The second one is basically a bunch of studio exects saying “we’re probably not gonna get more funding after the second movie so let’s cram all 4 books into one movie!”

[@vexations_on_discount]

IR Cinematics the first one was absolutely nothing like the book, but the 2 one was even worse

[@DrakeKnight99]

I'll say it again: I'm glad Bartimaeus was never adapted into a movie or show seeing what happened to Eragon, Fowl, Percy Jackson, and the like. I'm glad Harry escaped almost unscathed

[@cosmobayston3750]

They would totally fail to capture the nuance. They'd just make the demons evil or something like that

[@tonhaogamergranudo]

Who? Never heard of that one.

[@adityaagarwal6640]

@@tonhaogamergranudo It's called the Bartimaeus Trilogy, fantasy story about magicians who use demons as slaves. Great read from what I remember, first book is called "Amulet of Smarkand".

[@geraintthomas4343]

An underrated series that, for the sake of protecting it from this shite, I hope stays underrated...

[@theotherghostgirl337]

I’m so nervous about the Percy Jackson series. I mean the author is onboard but I don’t know how much that adds up to

[@madsam7582]

In the books Butler was called Butler, and was part of a group that trained elite bodyguards, and were forbidden from using their actual names so that they don't relax too much around their charges, and it led to a really nice moment where Butler introduced himself when he thought he was going to die. Also: Did anyone else learn to read the languages? I learned Centaur.

[@billolson8766]

A REALLY NICE MOMENT?! I FREAKING BALLED MY EYES OUT AND YOU CALL IT A “REALLY NICE MOMENT”?!? G’ARVIT. Sorry, Butler is my favorite character.

[@madsam7582]

@billolson8766 *D'arvit A touching moment, then. I wasn't cheering or anything. It was just a great scene.

[@billolson8766]

@@madsam7582 i know, i was just getting sad again remembering it lol

[@madsam7582]

@billolson8766 Yeah, it got me sad too.

[@so0meone]

Me before seeing the trailer: Ah, how bad could it be really? Me after seeing the trailer: Percy Jackson has some competition and I am angy

[@Shadowkey392]

The trailer was really bad. Fortunately I’ve read a young readers adaptation of the film, and it actually sticks pretty close to the books. The same events happen, and the characters are mostly unchanged. I’m still cautious, but I’m cautiously optimistic.

[@jarrodedson5441]

@@Shadowkey392 I actually am excited for the film

[@makisky4495]

Why does no one include Eragon in these discussions 🤔 lol.

[@Warfoki]

Honestly, based on the trailers, this is more like Dragon Ball Z movie levels of disrespect for the source material.

[@maymay5600]

@@makisky4495 oof and i remember borrowing a book from eragon called eldest from high school back in 2014, in 9th grade and imagine this is was reading the book and book marked it with hand made book marker right, my uncle wanted to borrow and read the book and my fucking god he took it out and i don't remember the page to this day of 2020, i have the book now boosting my cracked laptop, eldest is the 2nd or 3rd book from eragon right?

[@bgl7702]

I’m so glad Dom is enjoying Artemis Fowl- they were a wonderful read and still held my attention when i decided to re-read them as an adult. The Septimus Heap books, or at least the first 3 or so, hold a similar place in my heart.

[@elanorleonard7224]

Oh my gods I've just started reading the Septimus Heap series! I'm only halfway through the first book but am loving it at the moment.

[@evamiller4886]

As a kid, the Septimus Heap books and the x-men were the only places I’d heard of wolverines, so I thought they were fantasy creatures like hippogriffs

[@skittykay]

The 7th son of the 7th son!? 😂 I loved those books but now that's the only thing I can remember about them

[@morley364]

I was actually just revisiting the trainwreck that was the trailer this morning, and reading the horrified reactions, after not thinking about it for months. Then this pops up! The Dom's really fueling my cathartic rage today

[@gretep]

My god, Septimus Heap was one my favourite book series as a child. I read them as a seven to eight year old, so I don’t remember much about them but I do remember absolutely loving it. I have been thinking about rereading the series but then COVID came, libraries are closed and I only have like the last three books.

[@shadowcat9672]

I’m going to be honest. I didn’t know the movie was coming out, but from how you describe it I think my heart sank. Why change Artemis? He was such a fun character already!

[@jeggsonvohees2201]

Reminds me of how badly they butchered, well, everything in the Mortal Engines movie. The moment I saw Hester was beautiful I know it was doomed.

[@arachnofiend2859]

Disney's first priority is making safe investments. If they make art in the process it's a coincidence.

[@fuzzymurdermittens]

@@arachnofiend2859 Artemis Fowl WAS a safe investment!

[@Nerobyrne]

adaptations have to be worse than the original, for some reason. No idea why.

[@0Jenna7]

I haven't read the books. I was thoroughly confused, and I probably still will be, when Dom said he, to someone named Artemis. ARTEMIS.

[@avalonwillowbloom1590]

The way I've pitched the first book (to avoid spoiling the whole series) is to imagine a young James Moriarty who learns that fairies are real and uses this knowledge to exploit them.

[@lelnel6242]

There was actually a line in the first book where Root says Artemis watched too much TV and thinks he is Sherlock Holmes, but Foaly corrects him by saying Artemis is professor Moriarty instead

[@avalonwillowbloom1590]

@@lelnel6242 I completely forgot about that, that must have been why it was in my head!

[@laurelelasselin]

​@@lelnel6242 'Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls'

[@598019001]

I love this book series, Would anyone else be really interested in seeing the doms reactions as he reads through the series? I would just love to see him do a video on his thoughts after every book because it was such a fun ride and was very good at selling both a genius MC and some good twists. I maintain it as one of my gold standards for being able to actually SHOW and not TELL how smart someone is.

[@adrs1380]

YES! He should read and comment. It would be so interesting!

[@h3nder]

Yes

[@swanpride]

Loved the first three books. They should have left it at that.

[@tayloradams3993]

Yess I'd love a spoiler revieww.

[@yarpen26]

@@swanpride Four was already stretching it in terms of being necessary but some scenes save it from oblivion (most notably XYZ's death). I liked the Paradisos and their clique from Five but didn't care for the other dimension thing. I stopped at Six and remember hardly anything from it.

[@suddenlycrows]

Oh no. Oh *no* I didn't realize the whole genderflipping Root thing until you mentioned it. Way to get rid of another plot point, Disney.

[@aim-to-misbehave5674]

I mind that one the least, I think - I agree that the "first woman to do [X]" trope is more overdone now than it was in the early 2000s when the books came out, and...I don't want to say less relevant, because that level of misogyny is still a huge issue, but I think a woman being the older hardass takes-no-shit commander is a more interesting take on Root these days than the original.

[@crocuslament9680]

@@aim-to-misbehave5674 I personally think that Root was fine as he was (especially since he was a relatively minor character in the first book) and that if you wanted to scrap the female LEP officer thing you could just scrap it and make Root push her because he believes that she personally can do better.

[@randomosity6878]

aim-to-misbehave The problem with that is that it then makes Holly out to be more stupid and naive rather than stress bent because of the weighty responsibility she carries, let alone the amount of respect root has for her and his reason for being so hard on her.

[@FireflyArc]

wh...what did they do to root?

[@festethephule7553]

@@FireflyArc Root's a woman in the film. I'm usually good with that sort of thing, but in this case it seems a mite bit uh...not really all that good at all.

[@carolinesch.]

Yes to using zuko when talking about a good redemption arc

[@t.thomas8919]

Sets a good mood of what the MC is like and could possibly go through in a visual way, I agree. XD

[@Ramsey276one]

Indeed

[@Ofinkandattics]

Like if the Artemis Fowl and Percy Jackson movies simply don't exist.

[@beatsmithaudio9245]

You forgot Eragon

[@superfluous9726]

And the live action ATLAB.

[@Ylbris]

Maximum Ride too.

[@noahleach7690]

Honestly I feel the dragon film didn’t suck or crap on the books as much, I still love the books a lot more.

[@noahleach7690]

It Autocorrected eragon to dragon lol

[@williamallan5791]

Why is everybody comparing this to Percy Jackson? Its clearly competing against Eragon for the Worst Film Adaptation Award

[@keplyn7900]

Oh my gosh yes!

[@myself2782]

Good lord, I forgot about Eragon. Or repressed it, I suppose.

[@Rougarou99]

If we’re counting TV series adaptation, then The Last Airbender takes the cake.

[@TriforceKeybladeSkykid]

*laughs nervously* What 'Eragon' film? I see no 'Earagon' film. And there certainly isn't any Percy Jackson movie. Why would you say such a thing?

[@inferiorinferno8859]

I compare this abomination to both those franchises, as well as the Last Airbender. If there were awards, those 4 franchises would be the nominees.

[@earlybirdman269]

Why does it feel like this is destined to be a One and Done movie that desperately wanted to be a full movie franchise, but lost what the story special do to a lack of respect for the source materials?

[@jamesgardner6434]

Well at least we've seen from A Series of Unfortunate Events there is always the possibility of another go.

[@chaoticjusticezero]

It fell into the same trap as Power Rangers and Green Lantern: They tried to make a film franchise without making sure the first move was good enough to make fans want a sequel.

[@JamesLawner]

It's gonna be another City of Bones.

[@Shadowkey392]

I don’t think that’s going to be the case. There’s a young readers book called “A Fowl Adventure” which is based on the film, and it actually sticks fairly close to the source material. I think if this fails, it’s going to be for reasons OTHER than “lack of respect for the source.”

[@saphiriathebluedragonknight375]

@@JamesLawner That book got a movie? I was thinking Eragon. Eragon did have a movie right? Maybe it was a dream.

[@Elanel]

Also, they made Holly white, and her skin is "nut brown" in the book.

[@calemr]

Yeah, but in exchange, they made the Butlers black. The... Subservient family the Fowls have practically owned for generations... Are now black... No negative implications there!

[@cooltrainervaultboy-39]

It's been a long time since I've read the books, so I didn't remember that detail. Granted the visual representation of her that comes from my mind is her appearance in the graphic novel adaption, so what do I know. As for the Butler's, weren't they supposed to be Russian? Like White, blond, bear wrestling on the weekends Russian?

[@Shadowkey392]

Yyyyeah...but then the graphic novels also did that...

[@Shadowkey392]

calemr so long as they’re still badass (and Irish), I really don’t care about what color their skin is.

[@ABonafideSkeleton]

I'm not TOO fussed about Holly being white since that's how she's portrayed in the graphic novels. I am however bothered by Butler being black, he's Russian and last I checked Russians weren't black. Ah who cares, the film's going to suck and what remains of the fanbase will just disown it, they've already screwed up both Holly's character and Artemis's character from the get-go so why bother?

[@chiptasty6231]

Oh boy I can’t wait to refuse to watch this, then watch every single bad review of it out of spite

[@aptspire]

Those reviewers suffered for us, the least we can do is give them some views for their troubles.

[@ThatPurpleGirl81]

I seem to be doing this more lately. I can't remember the last time I saw a preview for a movie or TV show that looked good and I was excited about, especially an adaptation. Maybe Game of Thrones sent out some kind of film curse while it was in it's death throes...

[@Lightsephiroth]

Lol that's what I'm doing 🤣

[@skyereave9454]

I feel this on a deep level

[@BapoBoompa]

They suffered through hell so we don't have to.

[@BestBoyPatrick]

Gender Swapping root just ruins everything about Holly’s story from the 1st boom

[@waldotheranger3987]

Right? like, you think that plot point of the misogynistic fairy society and the hard working female cop is something that disney in all it's politically charged glory would get behind. but I guess it's too complex for the executives to wrap their minds around. or they just can't tolerate the idea that someone already did it before them, and did it better.

[@yoursonisold8743]

Gender agendas aside... I just cant imagine Dame Judy Dench losing her temper and shout like an 80s Police Chief until she turns red in the face. Even if there was no narrative issue at all, she just doesn't make any sense in that role.

[@YamataN0orochi]

@@yoursonisold8743 Having Dame Judy Dench play Root means one of two things. Most likely they have gutted and twisted Roots character like they seemed to have done to eveyone else. Which just add another layer of absolute crap onto it. Or Dame Judy Dench will keep the character as close to the books as possible and it will be grlorious to see. This is pretty unlikley though so I am not getting my hopes up.

[@dragonridley]

@@yoursonisold8743 I could picture Danny Devito.

[@Miniths]

@@dragonridley danny devito and josh gad in the same movie wouls be flipping awesome

[@lukeamparo6586]

This was Disney’s chance at a “Harry Potter” franchise of their own. Their loss. I hope! Seriously, Disney needs some theatrical bombs in sales so that they’ll realize this half ass approach doesn’t fly. I hope they suffer the way EA is getting shit from the video game community.

[@CaptainPikeachu]

They aren’t going to get any bombs when they’ve got Pixar and Marvel essentially shoring up their bank account and recouping any possible loss. And they aren’t gonna feel the bombs when they practically own the entire calendar year. Even if they got some bombs, one or two movies makes it back. Until the day we actually break up Disney’s ownership of many studios under its umbrella, they can handle plenty of losses that most studios wouldn’t, which gives them no incentive to fear any adaptation losing money. I mean, the Lion King was lambasted yet that still made a huge load of money.

[@gracekim1998]

BetaArtemis because younger generations didn’t see the original

[@alexanderdiaz2196]

@@CaptainPikeachu The problem is one of the principles of capitalism is being undermined: Consumer Choice. People have to pay before they can see a movie; the only way they can make an informed decision to buy the better movie is through reviews and brand recognition. The Disney brand is to wide-spanning and monopolistic to be held accountable, so movie reviews are the only way to tell if a movie is good or not. The reviews of the Joker movie already showed how unreliable that can be. Effectively, the invisible hand of the free market doesn't do shit in the movie industry, which is why we get so many shit movies.

[@mrpurple11]

@@gracekim1998 younger generations watched the original several times with DVDs, bluerays, Disney Channel, we the millenials who either had the movie theatre and then waited to be able to rent the vhs were the main audience and were the ones who brought alone the kids

[@mrpurple11]

The have pixar, marvel, Lucasfilm, and a big catalogue on their own to keep making live actions

[@hardygal2]

I read these books as a child, and my little sister eventually read them as well when she grew older - my enjoyment of the series cannot be matched by her LOVE of it. And while I was also pissed off by the trailer, she was so genuinely upset she apparently felt sick. Honestly, the only thing either of us could give the trailer credit for was “Well... they at least got his accent right.” [EDIT] Forgot to add this cause I was so excited to get a comment in early - glad you’re covering this. I told my little sister about your lost in adaptation series and she hoped you would talk about Artemis Fowl at some point

[@cjhedrick6418]

I know how she feels. As I watched the trailer, I developed a pit in my stomach which seemed to expand every five seconds until the trailer ended.

[@gordonhensley432]

"Yer a Wizard, Artie." It looks like Harry Potter meets Men in Black meets Warehouse 13 meets Spy Kids.

[@thedesertprincess]

Warehouse 13 💙

[@-Teague-]

Except bad

[@coltonwilliams4153]

Of course it was bad. You can’t mix all of that together and expect it to be good. It’s not fucking ice cream. Oh, and I love that people still remember Warehouse 13.

[@Cunnilinguistics69]

to be fair... before there even was a trailer, we knew they’d decided that the adult woman described as having “nut brown skin” would be played by a white child so. yeah, hope died early not to mention the casting call for artemis describing the character as fun loving, kind and easy going. how do you even f*ck up that badly?

[@ebonimccain6988]

YES!!!! Once I saw that casting description I didn't even see the trailer because it's clearly not going to be anything like the book.

[@origamiswami6272]

There could not be a worse description of Artemis Fowl than "fun loving".

[@fermintenava5911]

Brannagh has always been a strong supporter of "colorblind casting", but some of his last casting decisions have let a bad taste in my mouth 😞

[@zombioric5890]

The real Artemis Fowl would have been so pissed about that

[@CyberSpider35]

I guess they get inspiration from Netlfix's Death Note.

[@Cornberry]

And they turned it into a cliche unoriginal children’s adventure movie

[@syweb2]

They turned it into Spy Kids.

[@naydsoe27]

@@syweb2 Spykids but Trash

[@slogyourgrogyouoldseadog]

Gun>>>mouth Was my general reaction to this movie.

[@justvibin1447]

I've never read the series, but the fan reactions to the trailer make me kind of grateful my favorite books are sort of obscure. I may never see my favorite characters brought to life, but I also won't see them utterly eviscerated by greedy Hollywood executives either. My heart goes out to all you Artemis fans.

[@MissKashira]

My favorite book was Queen of the Damned. I was /so/ excited when I heard they were making it into a movie. Then a watched the movie... The pain still haunts me to this day.

[@obliviousotterI]

I thought AF was obscure, evidently not obscure enough

[@Lugbzurg]

@@obliviousotterI I initially found out it existed because I saw a trailer for it in some movie. Yes... a trailer for a BOOK. Possibly the only time I've ever seen that happen before.

[@Shadowkey392]

Actually I think the trailer was just really badly made. Since seeing it, I’ve read some stuff that has given me reason to believe that it’s actually not going to be that bad.

[@cooperminion825]

I think part of Arty's development arc starts when Holly punches him. It's the first time someone stood up to him and he didn't have his backup

[@florencetheunicorn]

Honestly, whenever I hear that Disney is making an adaptation of a popular book, my expectations fall through the floor. They've proven time and time again that the original source material means very little to them when it comes to making movies. 😩

[@t.thomas8919]

Very true. In some cases it could and has work in their favor. But now they are just doing a simplify story with iconic title of the franchise. It's all very disheartening.

[@FFKonoko]

@@t.thomas8919 NOW they're doing that? They did it pretty often, just back then it wasn't so connected and generally people didn't care if the movie didn't closely ape Rudyard Kipling(as one example). And honestly, they still don't, they're more concerned how it compares to Disney's own first try.

[@selahanany5645]

it is still amazing how disney maanges to lower my excpectations every time. i mean, youd think at some point thered be a rock bottom?

[@quinnsinclair7028]

I mean what happened? They did the Narnia books pretty decently. Where did it start to fall apart?

[@yarpen26]

Disney has gotten way too big way too fast. A mere decade ago they were deep into yet another one in the long line of poor Disney harvest. They usually crawled up after they got their shit together and made awesome content again, at least for a while. But now the problem is, Marvel is financing their crappy in-house projects so they don't even get all that hurt when everything else they push out gets torn apart by audiences.

[@deeplyshalllow8967]

I was 9 and over sensitive when I first read the book and it blew my tiny mind that I was cheering on the villain. Later rereads have made me realise what a fantastic study of grey morality it is. It's a very special book and I'm so sad they're taking that away.

[@obliviousotterI]

Just deny, and repress bois, deny and repress.

[@lemmythetrash-goblin8291]

As Gen Z kid, it's both exciting and horrible to see something you held dears as kid put through Hollywood shite machine to pander your nostalgia for first time.

[@NerdigansInc]

Welcome to the Club😎

[@debzykvids]

Gen Z too, seen similar stuff happen with some childhood stuff as well. We have a lot to deal with and fix asap. :(

[@rarazalproductions519]

Millenials and Gen Xers: "First time?"

[@cantbeleveitsnotnaru]

Just be prepared for years of heart break and angry yelling any time someone mentions the movie. Or deciding as a Fandom to just not acknowledge the film.

[@mischr13]

My first time was Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, so it was pretty great...but it went quickly downhill from there. Chronicles of Narnia (ok), Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (meh), The Hobbit (stop), A Wrinkle in Time (didn't even watch)

[@levyou2118]

Just watched the movie and the only thing I can really think is it is D’Arvit

[@osonhouston]

Looks like this series got the Avatar The Last Airbender treatment.

[@livingreverie5951]

The movie I presume?

[@danicakelly2242]

The movie-that-shall-not-be-named does not exist and will not be acknowledged as though it does.

[@alvar4547]

@@danicakelly2242 but the music is decent...

[@keystone5750]

Hey, you know what they say, there is no movie in Ba Sing Se. Disney’s Artemis Fowl can join the club with The Last Airbender, Percy Jackson, and Eragon.

[@andrewlance3898]

At least The Last Airbender followed the general outline and story of A:TLA Season 1; it was just so incompetently made that is sucked all the soul and creativity out of that story. The Artemis Fowl movie is just some mashup of Men in Black, Spy Kids, and Generic Modern Fantasy Movie #24218 with the Artemis Fowl name slapped on top

[@c.w.simpsonproductions1230]

A good way to describe Artemis would be as having Hermione Granger’s brain and Annabeth Chase’s strategic mind but none of the goodwill. Kinda like a Slytherin Hermione.

[@theflickchick9850]

I always saw him as a 12-year-old Hans Gruber, since I believe Eoin Colfer based a lot of the first book on ‘Die Hard’.

[@funkyfranx]

Artemis is MUCH smarter than someone like Hermione Granger. He’d be insulted!

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

@@theflickchick9850 Not getting that mental image out of my head.

[@theflickchick9850]

😂

[@THEPELADOMASTER]

That honestly sounds like a bad way to describe him

[@Brian-tn4cd]

You know read the book again after seeing this and see if I still enjoy it now that I'm older, and I found myself reminiscing how much I remembered Artemis and how even though I never saw him as a "good" guy, I mean this is someone who tells his enemies he's evil both in words and actions but I never saw him as someone who is fundamentally bad, even as a kid I saw that his situation was one born more from circumstance and pride, having grown up with stories of his family's illustrious past but living with a shadow of what they once were, he's still a kid though and thats what surprises me re-reading it now, he's as compassionate as he is cunning, while not shown heavily in the first book, all he wants is his mother and father back for things to go back to how they were before he felt he had "grow up" into this evil mastermind, and he latches on to the faint idea that he can rebuild that past bit by bit, seeing getting the family's wealth back as step one. I dunno maybe I put too much thought into this.

[@AmandaDavis6130]

I always got the feeling he enjoyed the plots at least somewhat, as a challenge. But while he likes winning and getting one over on people (especially people who underestimate him), he never enjoys actually hurting people. It’s how we can keep rooting for him - he does a lot of illegal things, even some immoral ones, but he never goes full on sadistic or truly heinous. It’s a fine line that’s tread masterfully in the books, and completely discarded in the movie.

[@saajiddaya2152]

Butler: Artemis, what's wrong? Artemis: LOLLIPOPS!

[@icicle_ai9748]

Best part of the first book

[@eebertdeebert]

I almost forgot that!

[@saajiddaya2152]

@@eebertdeebert Yeah it's hard to associate calm and cool under fire Artemis with a quick frazzeled kid, but Holly knocked a few of his lollipops (lol) out. Maybe that's why he has feelings for her in TIME PARADOX and ATLANTIS COMPLEX. Though I'm not sure where those feelings went in LAST GUARDIAN

[@maniaclaugh]

I always tought he got just over the hormonal part of puberty super quick. In book 5 he thinks about Minerva, and gets annoyed about his hormones acting up as a response, so teenage hormones, plus getting temporarily aged up and having a near-death experience once per every few months may have screwed with his head. He always admired Holly and the age difference between them made me prefer them as friends.

[@aperson1218]

One of the best lines of the first book, alough the extended circus metaphor is also a personal favorite

[@Angelofexecution]

Has anyone addressed the fact that Artemis is shown surfing in the trailer? Because we need to talk about this and undo the confused Jackie Chan meme face that I have ever since I saw this.

[@89Keith]

Yup the physically inept, uncoordinated youth who rarely sets foot outside...was surfing....sigh

[@antimatter4733]

@@89Keith not to mention he is always wearing a suit...

[@bigbigbig42]

@@antimatter4733 AND we see him beating someone in kendo, that's even worse.

[@BankruptMonkey]

Just the thought of him even being active. The most active thing he did in the first book was sit in the blind waiting to kidnap a fairy, and Butler probably carried him to the blind in the first place.

[@crocuslament9680]

@@bigbigbig42GOOD NEWS! THAT'S ACTUALLY JULIET! THE REST OF THE MOVIE STILL SUCKS THOUGH. IF YOU WANT A METRIC, THEY CALL BUTLER EITHER DOM OR DOMOVOI THE. ENTIRE. TIME.

[@Grim_Sister]

I loved these books as a teen and tween. It’s a shame that the job title “book slappers” doesn’t exist in Hollywood. I remember the first three books by heart

[@usslittle3600]

GrimSister Read the description of Irish blessing trailer, it says the entire plot lol. Close to nothing to do with the book :(

[@Ramsey276one]

Please elaborate I'm intrigued

[@Grim_Sister]

Luis-Raul Diaz-Rios GO READ THEM! Artemis is a devious little shit who you’ll love to hate in the first book. I highly recommended it

[@patchestheshark]

Artemis Fowl is a bad guy, or so morally Grey he's fairly in the black.

[@nickelakon5369]

Lawful evil, starts to lean toward neutral by the second book.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

@@nickelakon5369 He does get a redemption arc, but it's spread over many stories and we see him slowly becoming a better person with every experience. Like, Holly risks her life for him, Butler risks his life for him, he makes friends, he meets actually evil people and decides he doesn't want to be that bad. It's a good character arc, especially since it's clearly motivated by the things he sees and experiences over the years, not like a motivational speech causes growth in 5 minutes.

[@judemartin6329]

The first book made me forget about morals. Who needs morals when you’ve discovered something that will inevitably be turned into a trashy movie because it’s that good and popular

[@TwelvetreeZ]

Imagine of a company like Laika had made Artemis Fowl, it would've been amazing...

[@tylerbertram7065]

I'll watch it.

[@zackkelley2940]

Or the guy who did The Venture Brothers. Guys a pro at the "Badguy but not a bad guy" thing. Would know this out of the park.

[@arienrhod1]

OMG I can't believe I actually had HOPES for this film when the first trailer dropped way back when - I think it was supposed to be released last year, way before anyone even heard of covid, in the summer. And then it got pushed back for some reason. "Uhum, production trouble," I remember thinking, "bad protagonist too bad for a Disney movie; it's going to be a disaster." God I wish I wasn't right. The last time I was this pissed was when dear Disney & co put their grubby hands on Ghost In The Shell, then promptly decided the philosophical plotline that is THE POINT OF THE ENTIRE THING is too difficult for western audience, (you can't handle the truth, man!), then proceeded to replace it with a half-assed romance-thingy-abomination, because apparently women protagonists only feel complete when they have a d* in them... (Sorry for shouting) (Wait. No. I'm not sorry at all) GRRRR!!!

[@GerryIsNear]

As promotion for the upcoming movie I suppose, some of the actors have taken to reading the book on Periscope. Does it cross their minds that what they're reading and what the movie is (at least, what's known from the trailer and casting) is completely different?

[@beebs4283]

If that’s true and they actually have been, then probably. But even so, they likely won’t be able to actually tell us any misgivings they have for years due to contracts.

[@myah528]

The absolute excitement I felt at seeing a trailer for the film and then the crushing disappointment after watching it was one of the biggest emotional roller coasts I have ever had. God, I was so upset. You can be upset from the casting ALONE, and that's not even getting into the trailers themselves

[@Shadowkey392]

Don’t go calling the film a failure just yet. I’ve read a young readers adaptation of it, and it now looks to me like the trailer was just REALLY BADLY made, because what I read in that book didn’t match what the trailer was implying at all.

[@myah528]

@@Shadowkey392 There's only so much 'it was badly made' that can make up for what the trailer showed. There is so much in there that is just WRONG. It looks like it's going to have a completely different plot

[@jarrodedson5441]

@@myah528 question

[@roriwade9]

I’m really sad that yet another favorite series of mine has a horrible movie adaptation. Artemis Fowl has always been such an important series to me. In the realm of YA, most books have clear good guys and bad guys. Maybe there’s the occasional plot twist where a character is in the gray area, but it’s unusual. I love how Eoin Colfer doesn’t talk down to his audience or treat kids as stupid. You never get the feeling that it’s a kids book. Artemis is such a compelling character because he’s not good or bad. I loved him from the first chapter. He’s so complex and enthralling. I rooted for him from the start, even though he was “bad”. It’s really nice to have a character with a conscience who’s very ambitious. I hate how Disney treats their audience like idiots and has STILL somehow not realized that if you stay true to the books the movies do way better. The only people who would like that movie are people who haven’t read the books yet feel like watching the movie. But they just lost at least thousands of people who read the books and would have gone if the movie had been true to the books.

[@biaclarissa5848]

Disney being Disney...no way the protagonist can be the bad guy in a movie for children. Cause kids are dumb and would never understand a redemption arc. Guess no one saw Beauty and the Beast...oh,wait.

[@DeathsjesterKMNP]

Well lets be honest Beauty and the Beast would never get made by Disney in our current day, anything that smacks of women being in servitude or under the power of a man/male character is not allowed. It doesn't matter that it's the struggle through and triumph over adversity that makes the story important.

[@Appletank8]

@Midnightson Isn’t that Zootopia?

[@thekiss2083]

Or Maleficent? Come on Disney...

[@seanhartnett79]

Disney just sucks now, when I was a kid, the Disney channel was good. 10 plus years ago. Now it sucks.

[@deathrayman8074]

What about the Emperor's New Groove? Pretty sure he was made to be a bad guy in the beginning, but at the end, he's not.

[@gimzod76]

We need a role in film making where if someone suggests making a change from the book they get hit over the head with a copy of said book.

[@Actually_Zahren]

Hardback if possible

[@herbertwalter8693]

Poor D&D

[@islasullivan3463]

Specifically Changes that are fundamental to the story that the author was trying to tell. If it’s something like Annabeth is now a brunette Rather than blonde doesn’t really matter as long as the character is relatively the same.

[@MsMeiriona]

Nah, just that when someone suggest such a change they must first take a comprehension test on the material to prove they both read and understood the work they are trying to adapt.

[@gimzod76]

@@islasullivan3463 No no no You give the hacks in Hollywood or the msm an inch and they will take two miles

[@skullslace2426]

I was so excited when I heard there would be a movie. For about two seconds. Then I saw the trailer. I remember picking up the first Artemis as a kid at our local library, where I was not only sort of the resident oddball, but also was responsible for about 10% of all the books being lend out every week. I loved the story and recommended it to my parents, who also fell in love with the humor and the unique world. I hate how Studios think that just because a book frenchise has a following, they are free to make a crappy movie adaptation and can still make a quick cash grab. It's so disrespectful towards both the fans and the author

[@Minihood31770]

Awww, you still had hope. That's actually cute. My cynical ass expected it to be awful before I even looked.

[@CrazyEnglishman]

Artemis was the one who discovered the Fairy race and sought to exploit them. Artemis is not a good person in the first book. The book series follows his character growth over the series. The film dumps those interesting concepts.

[@Rowrin]

Did they Eragon it? It's sounding like they Eragon'ed it.

[@olymolly3637]

Eragon'd & Percy Jackson'd it.

[@Zoe-bx9bp]

They seventh son'ed it too 😔

[@dentangaji6161]

@@Zoe-bx9bp Seventh son is a book adaptation?

[@Zoe-bx9bp]

@@dentangaji6161 yeah. It's based off a series of books starting with "the spooks apprentice" they're amazing books and the film is the most egregious offender out of all of these films.

[@TalonWren]

Tbf, the ending of eragon sucked in the books too lol.

[@ravenpotter3]

Disney is like Allergic to having their main character being antagonists or villains or do anything wrong of have any large personality flaws beyond “not believing in themselves”. Main character can be bad people and do bad things Seriously let’s hope that Disney does a good job with Percy Jackson. I hope they won’t mess up. At least they have an example of a poor adaptation of Percy Jackson so Disney knows they will have to do better then it!

[@Lugbzurg]

I dunno... They seemed pretty proud to show off a bonus scene where Captain Marvel assaults this one guy, threatens to mutilate him, steals his property, steals stuff from a nearby store, and nearly causes a hit & run, all because she found this guy mildly-annoying. Oh, wait, they assumed this protagonist was a genuinely-good person.

[@fabiolatroiano3980]

*cries in Star Wars The rise of skywalker*

[@RAFMnBgaming]

"not believing in yourself" could be an interesting flaw. I could probably enjoy a movie about someone suffering from crippling imposter syndrome, if done well and with authenticity and not as a "well it's the end of the film so congratulations, you've overcome your disability and it's not an issue anymore" sorta affair.

[@cayreet5992]

@@RAFMnBgaming I agree, though 'not believing in yourself' is definitely no description of Artemis Fowl.

[@LordCornflake]

If you want to see the trailer for Percy Jackson then just rewatch the Artemis Fowl trailer but imagine more people in togas

[@SnowWolfAlpha]

When you have to choose between interesting and relatable: you pick interesting! How relatable was Artemis going to be when he lives in a mansion?!

[@Warfoki]

I mean, it's relatable for the producers who are trying to make him relatable...

[@Coppertine_]

I don't want to do a massive argument, but what if they made it because they know little children would be watching this movie with no knowledge of both the book or the franchise, same with the parents. You don't want the child to be confused that the Main Character is a bad guy... that is like a major rule you should not break... (I even had to stop watching a certain anime because of this). Plus, this is disney.. would they have murder scenes in there? no.. not at all.. This is like the Joker and Deadpool situation, parents are gonna be angry because they have to explain to the child that what the Main Character is doing is bad.)

[@Warfoki]

@@Coppertine_ Come now, this is going to have a PG 13 or something, by then kids should know better. And as for younger, well, it's a teachable moment to show that the world is not black and white. Shielding kids from the reality that bad guys aren't always mustache twirling, cackling idiots who are evil for the sake of evil is just idiotic helicopter parenting that will set them up for a life of failure. Point is, the book series is for kids, I read it when I was like 11 or so. And I understood that the main character was doing bad things, but I also emphasized with his situation. I wanted both Artemis and Holy to succeed and that made the book so much more interesting. Or I can bring up ATLA: great show for kids, and yet it has complex characters. Zuko is a prime example on how antagonists are not all evil or irredeemable. I really, REALLY hate patronizing nonsense that makes authors talk down to kids. I could tell when that was going on pretty early on and it annoyed me so much. Sure, kids might don't have an adult's understanding of the world, but they are not morons. well, not unless you raise them to be.

[@Misha-fv2vd]

@@Coppertine_ If they adapted the movie properly the parents wouldn't have to explain that Artemis is bad at the beginning, though I still think that this series is much more for adolescents than small children so it's not much of a problem anyway if they stuck to the intended age group. Disney has already done villains that are "confusing" anyway, Hans from Frozen and Hades from Hercules come to mind. They merely didn't want to write a screenplay that was actually complex and good at taking the real story with faeries and cool actions scenes that kids would love, while showing that sometimes people need to change and the inner struggle of Artemis which is shown repeatedly in the books as just a kid trying to fix his family. He pours millions into just trying to find his dad because at core he's like any other child. Disney took the money grab of the title and dumbed it down, focused on CGI and jokes as always, and made it into generic garbage. I wish Disney didn't take the series, a different studio might have done an actually good job of it.

[@THEPELADOMASTER]

@@Coppertine_ that's why the book is so good though He's "the bad guy" but he's not really a bad kid. And it's proven throughout the story. I got that when I read the book as a kid. I was like... 11, 12? If you stopped treating kids as fucking idiots that can't understand anything unless it's spoon-fed to them, then kids media will never stop being shit. Also, kids shouldn't be anywhere near deadpool or the joker, that's bad parenting

[@valencia878]

You forgot the worst part ARTEMIS SHOOTS A GUN???

[@Alresu]

I mean, I can see that. Basically just operating a device from afar. Would be way worse if they decided to make him trained in hand to hand comb- oh no.....