Top 10 Brainwashing Techniques Narcissists Use to Trap You

In today's video Jill explains the Top 10 Brainwashing Techniques that all Narcissists will use to manipulate the target and gain control over their life and mind. #narcissisticabusesurvivor #jillwise #cptsd #personalitydisorder #mentalillness
Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and Cptsd. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness to narcissistic abuse. She is also a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and Complex Ptsd.
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[@691bxm3]

• exaggeration of flaws • dehumanization • induced confusion • intellectual bullying • double binds • spiritual abuse • identity erosion • emotional blackmail • blame shift • manufactured jealousy

[@stephencollins9062]

This is exactly what you have done to me Aurora,(name changed) I don't think it's your mental health issues I think this is who you are And your mother was right you are just Evil.

[@MrProfessional777]

Thank you.

[@rock20055]

@@691bxm3 one would think… wouldn’t it just be easier to apologize admit your mistake and move on…..

[@rock20055]

@@691bxm3 but wait, there’s more…. Family mobbing & gang stalking domestic violence proxy abuse triangulation mockery smearing of your name &reputation financial abuse Cult like dynamic organized crime mafia boss behavior coercive control creates Stockholm syndrome in victims substance abuse addiction & criminality, forced loss of values & morals. sadistic pre-meditated traps & sabotage pathological lying

[@gailrochelle788]

My mother was Narcissistic I was the Scapegoat of the family, my younger half sister was the sweetheart and doted on by mother and my step father, I left home on my 16th birthday after she attempted to strangle me with a wire coat hanger, I fought back I tried to leave she locked up the doors and windows, but I was in a ground floor bedroom, I stayed in my room til everyone had gone to bed, and managed to force a lock on a small window, I pushed out my clothes etc out of the window then I got out, grabbed my stuff putit into a bag, and left, I never did go back to live with them, according to her I'd be nothing without her... Years later she managed to brainwash my eldest son, he wouldn't come home or talk to me, so I had to carry on with my 2 younger children, knowing that in my heart, exactly what she was doing to him, FF 2 yrs, he wanted to come home, which he did at 15, he was exhibiting mental health issues, FF 20 yrs and he is 39 and on a long term mh section, as he is very poorly, his diagnosis is Paranoid schizophrenia, She's dead, and I will never ever ever forgive her, for destroying my Sons MH and destroying his core belief, he managed to go to university he could've gone so far in life, 😢😢😢😢😢she abused me and my children, I hope she's burning 🔥 🔥 in hell 😡

[@texasrefugee7888]

I sought therapy for 25 years from different individuals and never heard a word about narcissistic abuse. I was diagnosed with just about everything except schizophrenia. Given wacky medication after a 15 minute interview. I was just given pills and group therapy suggestions. I began to feel really hopeless and that there was no hope for me. I would have never recovered if it weren't for people like you on KZbin to educate me. It's saved my life really.

[@kerribarclay5976]

Dittos!

[@megdhd]

The last straw for me was getting prescribed antipsychotics. I knew it wasn’t right. I still didn’t know what was going on when I left, I just knew I was going to die if I didn’t. Little did I know how much punishment I was going to receive for finally breaking free. I’m still being attacked viciously after SIX years, but I at least know what reality is now. I agree, unbelievable how this goes under the radar.

[@texasrefugee7888]

@megdhd remember the more you heal the nastier they'll get

[@deweyjones5497]

Hey Texas refugee . I'm a California refugee who had never met a true demonic narcissist until moving to Mosouri . God led me to love this neighbor lady as I love myself. What a huge learning experience ! Almost cost me my 40yr marriage. Drove by me so crazy I could barely pray the words " Help me Jesus " . Over the next few days ,weeks, months I could see her and her abuse of me and even worse, her children. May God bless your freedom.

[@dakoderii4221]

Got to love the group therapy. Always a few narcs get to commodere the whole thing and project all their filth on others in the group, blatantly insulting and even threatening others. Counselor says you made them do it and it didn't happen at all. Both are true. You're just too stupid and crazy to see it. Then say Ah, judge not! if you dare say anything other than what you're told to parrot. You're just supposed to flagellate yourself for their enjoyment. Turns out, sleeping with and doing drug deals with your patients can lead to complete chaos where the patients run the place by blackmailing the counselor. Who would've guessed? Gee golly.

[@stellar52]

We need to point out one thing very clearly here: ALL of this can be done without a single mean word or even physical violence. Triangulation, passive-aggressive behaviours. the silent treatment don't need loud words or actions. If the victim is traumatised and/or disabled (I have CPTSD and am an AuDHD of 52), they are so easily influenced by things done to them covertly.

[@Kimeedoll]

Yes. I had examples of 9 out of 10 points and until 11 months ago, after 30 years, I had no idea.

[@TheMazinoz]

Yes, I have a disability that isn't obvious and have encountered bullying from narcissistic neighbours - now taking legal action to get my plumbing fixed. Can't wait to see them in front of a judge and paying my costs!

[@Angelaava-jd3vd]

Yes it blows my mind how much being neglectful apathetic and indifferent tremendous distress and trauma and the worst part is most people can't even see it end the plausible deniability... I also have been diagnosed with anxiety major depression and PTSD due to a lifetime of toxic people like this.

[@megdhd]

I just wanna tell anybody here who has experience this, you are a human being. You are valuable as your raw, true self. You deserve healing and to be able to recover who you are. You were hurt by a sick person. You did nothing to deserve what happened to you. You deserve safe and love and acceptance. once more, you are a real human being with rights to all of the things that make you a human.

[@JokerNapier01]

🤯🤯 what a great description of the nightmare.

[@heaven-is-real]

waking up from the nightmare as we speak

[@meabeck]

Hovers are threatening to me. I managed one, yesterday, with very little shaking. I didn't shame myself afterward. I am so much better, and thank Jill Wise and others for the knowledge it took to pull this off. ❤

[@AlisonBSL]

I was told (usually shouted at when I was driving) for 7 years that I am a terrible driver. I paid for a driving lesson, so sure I was going to have my license removed as my driving was so awful. The instructor said the only thing that concerned him was how appologetic I am, as my driving is good and safe, and he said I am a very considerate driver. The relationship is over. Took a while to finally break away. But I'm glad I'm free.

[@lilybuccigross6688]

Happy driving! 🎉

[@Schmoityface]

OMG, this is SO right on. He told me he wanted an independent woman, and when I was just that, I'd be belittled and criticized me for taking a 10-minute bus ride to the mall to pick up something for myself, not wanting to pester him for a ride. I've always been independent; I was raised that way. He had to pick a fight over that. "What kind of woman goes to a mall and doesn't buy anything?" I told him what I bought and showed him and he still wouldn't shut it. I ended up going on Ativan because of the crazy a-hole. Then purposely physically losing my shit for an excuse to move out. You want to see some narc rage then? Wowza. Best thing I ever did!

[@sallyjanssens2477]

Yup, my mother used/uses all these tactics. What puzzles me is that it comes so naturally to her, like breathing. It's like an amazing talent to completely destroy people. I recovered by finally going no contact and sticking to it. Not an easy decision but the only way to go imo.

[@haliec496]

They also attack the victims positive traits trying to turn them into flaws, such as being chatty, friendly, caring. Turning it into, you were chatting too much to that person. You never stop talking, people find you annoying!! Listening to these I get a knot in my tummy and I escaped 4 years ago. It stays with you. When I escaped I was in such a state psychologically and physically. Still healing.

[@raggaahmed8626]

exactly!

[@Schmoityface]

Yes, yes, yes!!

[@LION-on4gd]

Yes your body intuition told you to escape because too toxic!! Happy for you❣️🍀🕊

[@princesskileyrae]

That's a very astute & accurate observation. My mother was a Munch so she had full out ASPD tendencies which certainly include extreme narcissism. She based starved me & put me on weird diets all the time & making me be a model while simultaneously making my sister gain weight in really insidious ways. I remember our Dad was in a co.a & she decided to drop her silent treatment temporarily, & I made the comment, "Well, mom always wanted me to be skinnier..." She replied, "And she always wanted me to be fat." It never occurred to me that she like, knew that. But in typical narcissistic family fashion, my sister blames me for being like 4 years old & being allowed to eat a bag of chips before dinner because I "needed the extra calories" and mom would simply say that my sister didn't. Sister is over 40 now & I still don't think it occurs to her that indeed I too experienced abuse, that it's not my fault our mother did that to her or me, or that literally our mother pitted us against each other & lied nonstop. I always said I don't foresee her ever meaningfully talking to me while our mom is alive. Mom died in 2023 unexpectedly & my sister hid the death, did no obituary, & had a very small "private" funeral where everyone was sworn to secrecy not to tell me. I was "the pretty one." She will *NEVER* get over that or see it for what it really was. She will always see me as the golden child getting more attention. She doesn't know that i could never be "good enough" for our mom, either. So instead she just punishes me, impersonates our dead mom to keep up the guise that she's alive, while settling her intestate estate behind my back. I am disabled & alone. It's a game to her. She loves that I'm not "pretty" anymore because I'm sickly. Our mother literally was planning my future cosmetic surgeries when I was like born. She told me all through my school years that as soon as I turn 18, we'll get me a rhinoplasty because I "got my Dad's beak (nose)." Ironically, for as much as my mother talked about physically altering me to "be better" - my sister developed a surgery addiction. I've said for tears that God forbid sister ever gets a lump sum of money - she'll become a cosmetic surgery addict too. That dead mom money she "doesn't know what I'm talking about" has already bought her a facelift. It'll probably buy her 5th nose, too. The one she was born with fit her face the best & errors have given her an uneven & somewhat porcine appearance. Meanwhile, I ate really healthy, worked out a ton, volunteered, still modeled, & *NEVER* let anyone surgically touch my face or any part of my body. Zero Botox, zero filler, zero ANYTHING. And I grew into my nose & it fits my face. I'd look silly with a Barbie nose *plus* breathing is cool. I could NEVER be "enough" of whatever mom wanted me to be at any given time, so I stayed myself. My non-model, short, overweight sister did the opposite & tried to be "pretty enough" for mom. Now that mom's gone & sister has money; it really wouldn't surprise me if she died trying to continue to look like someone other than who she was born as. She looks *older* after the facelift ffs too. It thinned her face out too much & now she looks old & wrinkly & saggy but with tight facial skin simultaneously & I'm not even sure how that's possible. She wants to get loose skin removed from about 6 areas on her body - those surgeries are freaking brutal. I don't see my sister really making it to or lasting much past 50. That 1% anesthesia death chance will always be a factor whether she ignores it or not notwithstanding any other complications. My mom wanting me to be prettier all those years & only fixating on my appearance essentially ruined my sister in such a way that I don't think she'll ever be self-aware enough to "get it" because then she'd stop getting filleted whenever her doctor shopping pays off. Imagine getting your dopamine rush from preparing for & undergoing & recovering from surgeries while being given "special attention like your little sister got all those years" by freaking hospital staff. No good deed or quality goes unpunished by the narcissist. Me accepting myself as I am was maddening to my mother & often resulted in her denigrating me worse. Joke's on her though now. I'm glad I got & kept my Dad's nose & don't look a carbon copy of my mother. I don't think my sister sees my outlook as "normal" or "healthy." She sees it as arrogant & condescending that I *don't* think I *need* plastic surgery. She doesn't realize she's the biggest reason I never touched my face. I saw her results & didn't want them, simply put. Being content in your own skin & being fine with yourself as a human being are like personal attacks to a narcissist. I don't want to be right about my sister even tbough she's evil, too, like our mom. 😢😢😢😢😢

[@clintonnagy1662]

I experienced that. She would pray upon my my strengths and make them look like weaknesses. I rollerskate avidly. I'm really good but she downplays my ability. She criticizes what I wear, how I talk, music I like, where I live, where I worked, my bond with her son, religious beliefs & much more. I never felt like the biggest loser until I was around her. Nothing seemed to make her happy. To make matters worse, her mother started criticizing me. Hmm...how about "NO".... just crazy insane.

[@GladiatorBrig]

This video hit home. I’ve to take breaks to finish it. I don’t know who I am anymore, what I want or if it’s ok to want. I know I’m confused, tired and scared.

[@lilybuccigross6688]

This puts all the pieces together, doesn’t it. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. It takes time to unravel the reality.

[@ritadyer9295]

That’s how I feel.

[@joeduff8761]

You are not alone

[@ElaineShaw-g7u]

​@@joeduff8761I tried personal development courses counselling and personal diary writing, 10 years on thinking of going to narcissist counselling to build my boundaries up again. Done the I love you 25 times in a mirror 3 times a day, you connect to yourself again. My stomach is connected to me again 😂 Good luck on your healing journey ❤

[@John-ee5dh]

When I got with my narcissist I told her I remember every conversation and I was so lucky I remembered all conversations because my narcissist tried to twist old conversations

[@debra8883]

What a rotten person. They are not worth another thought in your life. Good riddens!!!

[@RaE8270]

Oh my goodness. 100%. He did and was all these things. 24/7. 6 months no contact and I still feel like I've hardly healed. He broke me with all these behaviours everyday.😢

[@truthtriumphant]

My covert narcissist mother used all ten brainwashing techniques on me unfortunately. It is so difficult when the narc is very smart and you are an innocent, powerless child.

[@NicholasLampitt]

Same here 😢

[@blueknit11]

Right. It is cruel and manipulative.

[@abowling5759]

Yep!

[@fruitypopwhickle6806]

You figured it out! I think that makes you smarter! Please, please, please don't let her have the better of you! Find and create positivity wherever you can! I know it's hard, but YOU DESERVE GOOD THINGS!!!!

[@NicciFae]

This video has left me with no doubt that not only is my husband a Covert Narcissist but so is my oldest daughter which breaks my heart, makes me sick & sooo angry at my soon to by EX & ME for being the fool who let him be the father of my 3 girls!😩 It’s destroyed my whole family & I’m horrified that it’s affected my middle daughter immensely 😫 Now that I’ve set boundaries & won’t let him control me anymore, he’s controlling me through my daughters who he’s basically turned against me, with the help of my oldest daughter! My girls are 28, 24, & 19 & I m trying to not be mad at them for their betrayal because I know how manipulative & evil narcissists are firsthand! Any parent who creates who bashes & alienates a parent & child is sick @ doesn’t care at all about their own kids who are being traumatized

[@lilybuccigross6688]

Over time, they may come to understand the truth. Be patient and continue to heal yourself.

[@chowell1451]

It’s a shame they don’t teach young girls this stuff in school nowadays

[@paulineklostermann5877]

My adult children are malignant narcessist like their father, they broke my heart, i was their target, it was a living hell. My health destroied i had to go no contact. I miss my grandchilderen but I could not take the abuse anymore.

[@JessicaAnotii]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him

[@JessicaAnotii]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?

[@JessicaAnotii]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive

[@nbf_279]

aaawv>Im sorry. please ask for divine intervention for help. if its love it will bless you god bless your heart and mind and emotional n spiritual well being.

[@aphrodite1699]

Scammmmmer!!

[@doesnotFempute]

🚨🚨 SCAM THREAD🚨🚨

[@scrappydappydoo]

I had an aunt who I really loved and trusted. She didn't become a narcissist until she joined an adult women's sorority. Then it was like satan entered her. When I would confront her about something she pulled, she would suddenly avoid accountability by saying either 1. You're just too sensitive. 2. Build a bridge and get over it. 3. You have to forgive me! (Religious abuse). That was my first experience with dealing with people with narcissistic personality disorder. Now it seems the majority of mankind has this. These must be the perilous times warned about in the Bible. Thank you for a greatly informative video. 💝

[@markadkins3622]

23 Up o

[@sparklesp9304]

I don't think a person suddenly becomes a narcissist. It's rooted in childhood. You just didn't see it.

[@scrappydappydoo]

@@sparklesp9304 There can be a predisposition just like with depression, but is only activated by a trigger. She did not act like that prior to joining a sorority. I know my experience.

[@LION-on4gd]

​@@sparklesp9304Enablers codependants are not narcissists neither flying monkies but the go on to the narcissist's side (not in all situations but mostly) to save their own skin by fear...🤫🤫🤫😰😰😰..but finally they cannot feel happy...😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

[@texxstalker]

Important to understand that narcissism is a basic human trait and exist on a spectrum. Who are the highest end on this are considered narcissist (have an actual disorder) Certain triggers, life events, influence of others can be amplify narcissistic behaviour (usually temporarily) Its became exteme popular nowadays to scream narcissism to everything controversial..

[@TimothyTaylor-w6d]

This is the Narcissist regular routine. Oh , forget it if they are in a position of authority. Mind Games all day, everyday.

[@Rachel-g3h5q]

Oh they certainly know how to brainwash and have you believing you are someone you are not!! It is all about power n control!!

[@deb2319]

Spot on true! I've heard the narc. say " I will break her down..."

[@blueknit11]

Wow, I remember my husband saying he would enjoy watching God break me down. I was in for quite a ride.

[@noverguy]

Wow Jill - this is so great. The one that stands out to me the very most is your description of the "Double Bind'....which really is the basis for an entrapment. The skill the NARCs have in their ability to entrap people in situations never ceases to amaze me. I hear others stories of this that match my own almost exactly. Those NARCs are highly skilled at getting us into situations where we can't go back, can't stay where we are, and can't move forward. Its a horrific place to be for anyone. Thank you for all you do Jill! Your explanations are so detailed and helpful and worthy of multiple listens! : O )

[@blueknit11]

You are so right. It makes sense.

[@RickTeetaert-tv1fi]

@@blueknit11

[@SummerHall-t5h]

My son's father is a covert/malignant narcissist. He checks EVERY. LAST. BOX. of the 9 criteria needed for diagnosis but he refuses to be honest with anyone, especially people in the public, like doctors.

[@catherinewalton6839]

It's been 3 years since I've been around this person I find that I seem to be stuck in that fight or flight it's cause my anxiety to go through the roof it's very hard to manage, at the time that I met this person I was diagnosed then with complex PTSD. And I feel like it's so much worse now I don't feel like I have any good qualities in my life any longer because I'm so scared and I'm always looking over my shoulder. We got so bad around the time we parted that they were causing me to have panic attacks. I just want to know that I stopped being afraid of them coming back,, it would really give me some peace of mind knowing that they're gone for good .

[@twinsma14]

I have a suggestion, please don't take offense. Long term victims of narcissist usually have an addiction to narcissist. So WE invariably continue with the binging on narcissist content and ruminating over them. Best advice I can give you that worked for me is: is to understand that it wasn't personal, it's just how they move. Their way of operating is automatic not some calculated way of hurting you. I am here because unfortunately i a family member dealing with this and trying to understand how their mind is. Praying for you, I know it's not not easy, but you can and will get better. You'll be stronger and wiser. It's sad knowing that there are ppl out here that look human, but aren't. Have a good day. It's gonna be ok.

[@nancyhjort5348]

This is different than any education of narcissistic control, I have explored. I have never heard of these emotional and manipulative traps before. I deeply appreciate your clarity. The "No Win," position is exhausting on a soul.

[@warrenbradford2597]

I was hit by blame shifting especially.

[@TonyGPE]

This is an exceptional list and explanation of abuse tactics. I’ve found nothing better. Thanks!!! 40+ years unknowingly with someone with NPD.

[@martyvirtue4051]

Induced confusion and manufactured jealousy. I just saw it again.. fell for one of those cr€€ps again. I wasn’t aware of these terms but I knew it was a nasty narc technique. Thanks Jill. When things have a name you can recognise it faster. Very important in the battle. ❤

[@yly5991]

My covert malignant narc parent is known to people as kind, thoughtful, generous and a good Christian. They use their time, money & skills to help people but "buy" their loyalty in the process. However behind closed doors, the narc abuse me and my other parent endured for 25+ years was relentless! Brainwashing was one of their favorite techniques! They broke us down so much. Because of all the abuse, my other parent and I come across as odd to people, which has caused us to be very isolated. The narc has also smeared us to people which strengthens the isolation even more! It has been a few years since we left the narc. We have found a lot of healing, but there is still more needed as brainwashing and conditioning runs so deep. But we will get our lives back fully. We have hope.

[@re8837]

Sorry that happened to you. I've noticed too many people are driven by fear.

[@louisepineault8699]

This is human spiritual abuse you control people it abusing I

[@lilybuccigross6688]

So sorry for what you have endured; happy you are now free and healing. Continue hoping and building your new lives. God truly cares.

[@LION-on4gd]

🕯 ❤🍀🕊

[@benjamindegley8529]

You sound like me and my dad. May God bless and keep you both so very close to him. DJSD ❤

[@Sublette217]

I was just puzzled why my ex-fiancée was telling me bullshit that I knew were just false, wrong, or lies. My family was too solidly grounded in reality for her attempts to mislead me about myself to work. I just didn’t realize until later that all her actions were because she was a narcissist. I always could tell my reality from her insanity. Her gaslighting utterly failed.

[@lilybuccigross6688]

Thank God your family could see through the gaslighting; so often, they do not.

[@Sublette217]

@@lilybuccigross6688 She would trot out nonsense and I’d think “That ain’t reality.”

[@LongBeard67]

The double binds was a favorite of the narcissists that abused me for years. I always found myself in this damned if you do damned if you don’t scenario. I just thought I had bad luck, but come to find out it was all pre planned manufactured BS to make me aka the broken scapegoat suffer. I struggled for years with drugs and alcohol and when I would try to sober up the narcissists would be there with what seemed like a helping hand giving me a 12 pack or a bottle of Bacardi as a “gift” or a oxy or 2 as a “helper”.They’d watch me go through withdrawals and suffer for a month and then when I finished detoxing there they were with the helping hand…. I’ll be sober 5 years this December and I went no contact 3 years ago! Now the narcissist is struggling with addiction and the law finally caught up with her!

[@theenlightenedtarget]

Unfortunately I hear stories like this from my clients quite often. Many narcissists try to get their Target addicted or contribute to their addiction as a way of maintaining control. Glad karma finally caught up to her.

[@LongBeard67]

@@theenlightenedtarget It’s interesting and horrifying at the same time that narcissists all over the world imply the same terror tactics to hurt people. Is there a secret book that narcissists get in the mail at a certain age or is it taught through other narcissists or maybe it’s one big hive mind controlling them all and saving all the supply from us for the end of days? Thanks for creating this content Jill it is life saving stuff that helped me heal and gave me strength and knowledge to identify and protect myself from the evil creatures!❤️❤️❤️❤️💪💪💪💪

[@lilybuccigross6688]

Wow. So glad you caught on and have a new life! Best wishes. 🙏

[@blueknit11]

Wow, that is crazy. I am so relieved that you are free.

[@barbarabuttler7647]

I had a boss put me on a performance improvement plan to be more assertive and then he came to a meeting I was running and interrupted me, repeatedly.🤣😂🤣

[@peacefulamerican4994]

Mine was the intergalactic empress of the double bind. ( and no doubt still is).

[@JKDVIPER]

😬ooohh. That’s new information to me. So now we learn how they break you down over time.” 🧠10:30 Ya, that was a brain smoker. Wow. So while they tell you, “I just wanna have fun, I don’t wanna talk about your past, I don’t wanna hear crying and sadness!” So she starts to take care of herself and stay quiet.” So he then says “You’re ignoring me? Why am I having to put on a song and dance to get your attention? So the victim feels like a rat on a treadmill for no reason.” 😞💯”That was just an example I saw this week with a guy ranting like Mel Gibson about WHAT HE expects. Ya, guys, rule of thumb, if you’re with somebody and they’re trying to tell you WHO TO BE ⚠️that’s danger zone status. That was extremely helpful. 💯

[@alejandroluer]

Yes! For me too!

[@TruthandJustice-hz9nv]

This was pure gold Jill, Smile :-) Thank you so much for this, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Keep spreading this information, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-)

[@dazpearce2096]

Nice video Jill - as always. My narc's nothing like this though - I've been promised an amazing future, perpetual bliss and eternal salvation. All in exchange for my worldly possessions, the little cash I have and...earthly soul. Can't say no to that deal!! 😆

[@nillarohr9872]

Yes..and the nagging never ends. 😢 My humanity is now my nr1.❤

[@sherrymurphy855]

Absolutely life saving information for many people who were/are targeted by a narcissist. Much appreciation. 🙏

[@SusieRobinson-v7m]

This was very useful. Thank you

[@ericrukin2368]

After watching multiple videos from various people since I became aware of my ex abuse for the past four years, I have not seen a more accurate and detailed explanation of the tactics a narcissist uses to control their victims. The message in this video is a must see.

[@kerribarclay5976]

WOW What a fantastic video!! You validate my experience with my narc sister.... and help me to map out her behavior towards me so I can give each tactic a name which helps me to see that I'm not seeing things. Thank you so much for these videos on narcissistic abuse. With your guidance I'm finally at a point where I can say I no longer will tolerate her abuse. She doesn't treat me like a loving sister.... so I'm ready to relegate her to the position of distant blood relative. ❤❤

[@brianvickey5410]

Listening to your description was enlightening but devastating.You described point by point,my entire experience within my family. I was 29 years old before I consciously realized I was not stupid.I was having a conversation with an older man about the current politics .This was a spirited but civil debate .After about 15 minutes he said ," So what do you do,are you an attorney! He wasn't joking or being sarcastic,he was serious.This was a lightbulb moment for me.

[@FraterPerpetuusCoegi]

I remember growing up my mother's family were very narcissistic and so was my father's new family . The one thing that they would do was really blow my faults way out of proportion it would be so over the top exaggerated. And my father's new family one of the tactics they would use is to manufacture jealousy by pitting one of us against the other. Now that I look back on it it's childish

[@blueknit11]

I can't stand the pitting one against the other. It happens so regularly in my family. Makes me sick. Playing games like that with people's feelings. Even smiling while they are doing it. I should come out and ask if they want the others to dislike one another.

[@navydogsadventures3500]

Thanks for the info, Jill.

[@ltopomcfly5583]

Such a thorough and accurate video. I hadn't heard anyone name some of these tactics, but I've experienced them unfortunately.

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Spot on Jill. Intellectual bullying is a powerful tool to beat others into submission.

[@QueenBJohan4477]

This is the most accurate video I've seen on narcissistic partner abuse tactics! Thank you for not being like every other narcissist video that repeats the same talking points about gaslighting and going no contact. I believe (your #1 most common tactic) "Exaggeration of victims flaws" caused me the most damage because (my ex narc) had me questioning if I was possibly a terrible person using him for money! Had me override my own beliefs and integrity. Over exaggeration of my mistakes was the theme and narrative of our entire relationship.

[@michaelbone7664]

Best one video description I've ever heard of narcissism. Very helpful. Thank you.

[@andrewjohnson4021]

It's a living nightmare I know. They've gotten past cruelty lately and they've been trying to put me into a box with dirt covering it.

[@leslieschumacher892]

You are great! Point after point after point, right on. Thanks!!

[@audreylonsinger2678]

All of this🙌🏻 My mother in and out. Evil to the core. Relieved she passed on but the damage she left lingers.

[@truthtriumphant]

Yep-exactly with my mother too! She passed three years ago but, the pain and lasting effects linger on.😢

[@jevans1805]

shes probably down in hell giving Satan a refresher course and doing his annul evaluation with a view to having him replaced with a flying monkey of their own?

[@dkidder1367]

intellectual bullying is what made me go no contact with my next door neighbor. It's been 10 months of no contact. Of all things, we had an argument about birthdays. He said he wasn't 82 until he has lived out his 82nd year. I said he has lived 82 years, so he is 82. After a while, he said it was an iq issue. That did it for me. He was so sure i would eventually come around. Nope. He has left crazy texts, and has parked in front of my house. I'm very cautious about helping seniors again. I got pulled into something i wasn't prepared for. FYI, he has seven ex wives, a sister who hates him, and two sons who don't talk to him.

[@theenlightenedtarget]

Oh dear God, I had a neighbor like that, total sociopath and use to park his truck outside my house to intimidate and scare me, stay away from your neighbor, he sounds just like my neighbor

[@rf2632_]

I learned a lot from this video about a person I was dating, thank you so so much!!

[@Torako75]

The narcs in my life used all of these techniques on me. I found this video hard to watch because it was upsetting to hear about all these ways the narcs used to control me and break my spirit. Well, they may have succeeded for many years, but thanks in part to videos like this I'm getting wiser, stronger and more narc-resistant. Now one of the two worst narcissists in my life is out of the picture, one more to go!

[@lizlearnedthehardway4663]

Their behavior is as if they read and thoroughly absorbed a devils playbook and apply what they have learned so skillfully to destroy their victim. That is the relationship and marriage I was in for 28 years. I was destroying my kidneys taking Advil twice a day just to endure him.

[@jamiebrown2683]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@blueknit11]

True, it can be difficult to listen. It reminds me of so many harmful things done to me, and I had no idea how malicious the intent was.

[@sage_forensics_2261]

🙏💜 The "spiritual abuse" is the one I related to the most as a Preacher's Kid, but I think I've had experience with most of these over the years in one way or another. However, when you're a child of a Narcissist (or two) who happens to be in the Ministry? Wow! It is really hard to see the difference between what is parental discipline and religion. SO MUCH of what I was taught as a child to believe or how to behave according to our faith was really my parents' Narcissism. Decades later I know that, and it's taken a LOT of work to figure out what was God and the Bible as compared to their selfish needs or whatever. Of course, whatever they said and did at church was different than what happened at home. I really WISH people in churches understood the idea of "what happens behind closed doors" more often than they do! Instead, they place the pastor and his wife on a pedestal (the children, too). Even when kids DO ASK for help (I did), they can't believe it. They send the kids back home to their abusers... after they've been reported on! How well do you think things go for the kid(s) after that--especially, if they're already the Scapegoat? It doesn't go well. I can assure you. They try to make you look/sound crazy or out of control. I think this type of Smear Campaign is very likely one of the sources of the stereotype of the "wild and rebellious preacher's kids" that so many think is funny. One of the other sources is that these kids simply do act out because of the abuse in order to numb what they're going through at home. I didn't act out, go to parties, do drugs/drink, or do anything like that at all ever in high school. Frankly, I was too scared of my parents to do it...if I got caught. I had my moment for a few months when I turned 21 like many do, but I found it did nothing for me really. I'm not perfect; I was curious, and I moved on. My point is that even YEARS later it is still difficult to physically go to church. That's how painful it is and has been over the years. No Contact has helped tremendously! Reading the Bible and watching sermons online on YT to learn for myself how I feel about things has also helped. I now "attend church" online by watching a particular pastor's sermons that I've learned to trust over the past few years, and I have a few others I will watch on occasion as well. Reclaiming my faith has been difficult, but it most certainly is NOT the same as what I was taught when I was younger! Yes, it is still Christian; however, it is not the manipulated form that my parents created for themselves. I think God knows I'm trying to figure things out, and He's patient with me...very different than how my parents would have been. Spiritual Abuse is SO disgusting! I imagine there are many of us (preacher's kids and those in overly spiritualized homes). Either way, it's SO harmful and destructive, and it's NOT biblical at all. God didn't abuse us! Our parents did! Separating them in our minds helps lead to healing; it did for me. Frankly, I think spiritual abuse makes God angry, too, and He will punish those who harmed others in His Name--especially children. Please, know you are NOT alone if you went through this also. You don't have to agree with me on everything. That's OK. Just know you aren't alone, and you didn't deserve this abuse! Peace, love, and strength to all as we continue to heal...🙏💜⚔

[@sparklesp9304]

You may want to checkout Jim Palmer.

[@blueknit11]

Yes, the spiritual abuse is insidious. So hard to untangle truth from lies.

[@blueknit11]

I asked for help from other clergy members when my narc father was in ministry. It went into one ear and out of the other. Then things got worse.

[@blueknit11]

Same. I feel tense about going to church because of all that happened. I watch videos and flip through my Bible and learn at home for a while.

[@blueknit11]

I agree about God being against the abuse and the way we were treated. I hope my father comes clean and really pursues God in an authentic way. Not phony and full of show. Not about titles and pomp. Real honest repentance.

[@giselasantiago1]

Thanks!

[@theenlightenedtarget]

Thank you so much! 🙏

[@alimccreery755]

I’ve had all of it since I was a small child. It’s no wonder why I’ve made bad choices in relationships, I was never taught how to make healthy decisions and boundaries.

[@sofiaisabella3317]

Such a good explanation! Thank you so much. It makes it easier to label these behaviors whilst they’re happening instead of knowing that this isn’t right, but you can’t talk about it with them because it will make it worse. Label, know they’re being an a hole, and Leave them in their own filth

[@meabeck]

This an excellent video. Thanks, Jill Wise. ❤

[@TheTarotDJ333]

Really great info, Jill! Well done!🌟✨️

[@abowling5759]

Jill, another great video!….it definitely is good to go over these techniques and remember that this is what you can expect from a narcissist if you have to deal with them. Not to mention how it felt to be the target of these tactics.

[@TheAng58]

You are so spot on!

[@DirTyOhGee]

100% spot on. TY TET!

[@Michelle_9_27]

You touched on every single thing I have endured my entire life and I am in my 50s. Both parents are narcissist. I used to think it was only my mom, but learning it was both. You touched on one that really validates my feelings in regards to the jealousy. Both of my parents wanted me jealous of my other siblings. I look back at so many situations in my childhood, through my teen years, and even adulthood , where they wanted me jealous. It didn’t matter how I looked, either a new hairstyle , new clothes, fresh makeup, put well together , both would always ruin it. At Holidays, my dad would tell both my sisters, how nice they looked , how their hair looked nice, and then just walk away and pass me up. I would be picking my mom up to go somewhere, dress nicely, and she would get in the car and start complementing my younger sister and she wasn’t even with us. Just wanted to tell me how beautiful she was. They have done everything they could to make me feel like worthless nobody and I’m still battling with it today. They both have really messed with my mind. they have belittle me. I wasn’t worth the trouble, I wasn’t worth the respect, I wasn’t worth the compliment. I wasn’t worth it.

[@NicholasLampitt]

Thanks for the help ❤

[@maryscanlon1407]

❤ thank you for a wonderful accurate video, going through this at the moment absolutely 💔😢😢 tuning in from Ireland 💙

[@debra8883]

My ex-husband did every one of these brainwashing techniques. How mean and cruel!!!

[@fokkerfilms560]

As young children when I or my sister would ask our mother "What's for dinner?" she would say one thing but when we sat down at the table to eat we would be given something entirely different. Oftentimes it left one feeling frustrated and disappointed. When I asked my mother why she did this she brushed me off with retorts like, "I changed my mind." Is this an example of induced confusion? Or, just a way to exert dominance and control? Your videos are brilliant! 👍❤️

[@loriawinfree478]

Thanks for your videos we need this video

[@beacleary9889]

I live with all of these feelings..i deliberately haven’t watched anything regarding narcissism lately: have watched you’res today: & it’s like a lightbulb: i have a clearer take on it, because of the break…i know for sure! I have been experiencing this FOR YEARS!…i can now see how truly validating you’re video is…xxxxx

[@urbanerose4095]

Thank you for this. I wish I had this information ten years ago. I have literally gone through an entire decade of back to back experiences with narcissistic torment. My wish is that I had this info to help me navigate it all.

[@vibratehigher2441]

Thanks

[@deebigelow6082]

Thank you for mentioning spiritual abuse.

[@lindahettman7227]

You will.never get an apology from them, and they can't stand it if someone complimented me, like I didn't deserve any positive attention.

[@davidjensen6790]

Im in awe At how skilled the narcicisst is at creating illusion and paranoia in theyre victims, im sickened by how all that know(friends etc.)are willing to saxrafice me so long as its not then, this scares meim being swept under the rug no wants to hear it, even though theyre next(in process)if i even mention it im quickly silenced, what can i do about that? These ones are supposed to be my friends,, id do it for them to ive allready had every dime ive earned stolen, im out at least a hundred grand , this narc. Has bouggt four cars for him and others with my money went on cruises , re windowed entire house ets so generously spending my earnings on others while i suffer . Best wishes

[@motardmike]

My father constantly tells me of all the things my sister(golden child) has done for him (and what a great job she did)....whilst never acknowledging the multitude of things I have done. These attempts to generate some form of envy and rivalry fall flat and more and more tasks are being crossed from my list...I guess hes showing me the boundaries I must have. I need to insist that he asks for help rather than just to jump in and fix things.

[@Anne-MarieMcManus-hd8br]

Thanks for this.

[@Libran1717-us8qp]

I've posted comments of affirmations on your videos in the past, and I'm affirming this video as well. 1000 percent accurate. I've experienced everything you've pointed out! I was married to a man of the "collar" who embodied this type of behavior. Sadly, he had me and most church members fooled and totally btainwashed.

[@GG-pd7wb]

You're a genius

[@Civila333]

Very good thankyou

[@tommytjc]

Spot on! I believe also there is some measure of reciprocating narcissism. Whose was more dominant is debatable. In part I believe contributed to the end of a 30 year marriage. Devastating outcome to me. So sad.

[@MindBodyStorm]

💢As an adoptee and recovering trophy child, the Identity Erosion breakdown really hits home......... Quite triggering honestly....

[@GodsChildMetal]

Thank you for the video about the video about narcism , sadly my parents are narcistic my mother is a covert narcist and my father is a narcist 😮🤦🏼‍♀️😔💔

[@KBB-nf1dr]

Sounds like most government employees, especially power hungry psychiatrists

[@NicholasLampitt]

Deffo

[@JonathanLamb-s1d]

Interesting

[@TheLawWon]

Good evening Jill.

[@andrewjohnson4021]

They are really good at hurting. Been dealing with it from my fake mother and her boyfriend and their kid's. Just ruthless. They have me really stuck in this area. And they're good at getting everybody to stay away from me from whatever they say that is not the character that I truly am but what they have them believing.

[@jasonp2186]

The Whole subject is extremely hard because they don’t care about anything but themselves they don’t see it..and you can’t teach them they have to fix them selves or let karma and just attempt to be strong it hurts your heart like crazy trust that. And it’s ok because you will always love the Mom of your kids.

[@andrewjohnson4021]

I think you're explaining most kids from the 80s and 90s. This whole place has been operating like a damn zombie zoo and it's getting worse. And it's like the powers to be they help them keep us stuck instead of helping us when we need it.

[@tomjerry4477-n1e]

dysfunction needs dysfunction to dysfunctional function

[@JacquelinePletscher-x9w]

Intellectual abuse - by my therapist Narc ex

[@jasontulloch7938]

wow

[@georgegavallos4519]

My ex Narcissist locked herself in the bathroom and threatened to slice her wrists if I went to Liturgy on Sunday morning. I was terrified. She could have won an Academy award. I should have known the Narcissist wouldn’t hurt herself. I’m “ enlightened “ now. They love themselves too much.

[@betanialacoste7945]

I've been trapped in this relationship my whole life. The Narcissist in my life is a neuropsychologist and is my carnal mother. The whole family & community are her flying monkeys.

[@billdoherty5332]

❤love you. Have a great weekend

[@tiffanyandtheshihtsu]

Dead on! My God😮

[@NarcissistHex-nf9eq]

Yikes, I need to cover this on my channel. This is terrible, Induced confusion and manufactured jealousy.This is all done to destroy the victim.

[@kyoung6967]

He always says if your good you come over using that like I'm being punished if I'm good or bad.

[@SmilingOakTree-jy7du]

Narcissists wear you down and stay away. They care nothing for you and say horrible things. Are the last people you can trust. .

[@JohnMoya-j7c]

I've been done moved on my friend and left those toxic Narcissist neighbor's there still trying to be me .

[@ITSRAYANNNN]

100% I was told that I was acting single and that the person didn't feel loved and to let them love me and then the next was you're being too needy by me texting them or calling them ever I wasn't allowed to, and if I didn't, then I was neglecting them. It was really confusing. It's called crazy making behavior.

[@RonnyAndersson-q9b]

This is evil.

[@mariolasyska4601]

👍👍