Every Zero Punctuation 2013

Every 2013 Zero Punctuation episode with no punctuation.
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[@MindLaunchLT]

it's actually amazing to play this while working as background noise and all of a sudden hear "yeah sorry kid, looks like you're not getting your mom back. Nothing you can do now but take up taxidermy and start wearing her dresses." without knowing what game he's talking about in general

[@lloydnicholls1439]

I thought it was a reference to the movie 'psycho'?

[@postjm9]

When I started reading your quote, I thought it was from your workplace.

[@MindLaunchLT]

@@postjm9 might have been :D

[@jonasdelapena3543]

Nino Kuni review is where the quote comes from.

[@ZMmakesthings]

The terrible thing is I've watched his videos so many times I know exactly what game the joke was about

[@jackbizzell5966]

Try opening this video in separate tabs, pressing play a few minutes apart. Enjoy. Try it with three tabs and it sounds like a room full of angry Crowshaw bickering about what shade of magnolia to paint the downstairs loo.

[@bonjoviwankenobi8533]

What about a beautiful shade of coffee brown?

[@2Scribble]

Or just open three different years in three different tabs lol

[@SweetKiren]

Damn it! I was about to fall asleep, but now I'm just laughing like an idiot! 🤣🤣🤣

[@TheSimmus]

I don't know how you got the idea, but I love these creative comments

[@madmorgo6233]

🤣🤣🤣

[@BOOcketMan]

Ah dammit. He said walkies and my dogs heard so now they’ve got their leashes and are convinced it’s time to go out.

[@qdllc]

That’s what earbuds are for,. 😉

[@parkerapperson7175]

You better have gave them that damn walk

[@TheLastRhapsody]

It amuses me that in referencing TLOU1, he used a golf club to represent the wedge driven between him and the fans of the game. Yahtzee displays his psychic potential yet again.

[@jeremypedersen6894]

waIT *WHAT*

[@airbornmartin3238]

He Just taught you to think like him

[@AutoReroll]

He also predicted that Ubisoft was only having a "brief dalliance" with ships

[@sebsmith5100]

@@AutoReroll y Y Ty Y Yu H H Hhhuj I

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@AutoReroll considering they delayed skull and bones yet again he was right

[@BeastlyMussel61]

I keep looking down at the comments expecting each individual comment section

[@zyxluz4645]

Yeah. Me too

[@tinyman1144]

I'll be honest I do that at least 3 times per year of non-punctuations, usually more

[@MangaScrub]

Saaaaame

[@acuteavocado1962]

luckily this is the top comment to quickly stop me every time i try to do the same thing

[@ThePigeon5734]

I did as well

[@soldier1stclass648]

I always found the " there's a man let's just call him Jim because that's his name" joke was underappreciated

[@thatdapperfellow]

"They come and go faster than an abusive foster parent's sex partners." How have I never gotten this joke before?

[@FireTalon24]

Amazingly, I scrolled actoss your comment while that line was being said. In a 4 hour long video. What the hell are the odds?

[@spacesolar3699]

@@FireTalon24 Assuming about two comments scrolled in a second, your odds are about 1 in 14400. So with 666k views, if about 1 in 44 people actually do scroll at that speed, your experience is likely. I'm sorry, I'll go and lock myself back up.

[@OnTwiggysTerms]

Much funnier at 2x speed, but if you can’t find the button, simply add methamphetamine to your viewing experience.

[@jamesmccall6776]

At 0.75 he starts sounding sloshed

[@aranockcooke98]

.5 is pretty good too

[@deadshr00m54]

weed makes it fun if you can stay focused... trust me that ain't as easy as it sounds

[@CoastToGhost]

2x speed + Meth = ??? Time for a field study boys.

[@joeyparkhill8751]

Ask Your Drug Dealer if Meth Amphetamine is right for you!

[@alex_evstyugov]

This video turns the double twist at 2:01:36 into a triple twist.

[@joshualong7724]

I got an add, quadruple twist!

[@Maepull]

i am absolutely in love with how obvious yahtzees influence on his viewers is. reading these comments feels like everyone wants to take a shot at his style lmao

[@mischiefcal]

that's what good writers do, probably. smash an audience like it was playdoh onto the newspaper of a voiced script.

[@Izunundara]

The original reason why I got into ZP was BECAUSE his style and humour matches my own, tortured metaphors are always fun and I have legitimate problems remembering names so I also deliberately mess them up to make them more memorable like a jokey mnemonic.

[@trarialtrarial]

I've noticed this happens to basically any comment section when the content creator has a distinct style. see: oneyplays comments and the constant parroting of ironic cringe non-sequiturs

[@LottaRango]

These honestly get me through all souls games, when I'm grinding in an area or grinding my face against a hard boss.

[@sin21ful]

Same with Bloodborne and really most PvE games. Crazy to think Yahtzee and games have been a pair for me since 2011. 10 years man.

[@LottaRango]

@@sin21ful lmao i was literally in the upper cathedral ward when I posted that! I rewatch them all the time cause there's always lines I miss that make me crack up.

[@sin21ful]

@@LottaRango and lines that you remember are missing due to offense editing, the 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand Review is a good example. There are quite a few.

[@andrewadams896]

@@sin21ful 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[@andrewadams896]

@@sin21ful 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[@bioforce5]

"Every Zero Punctuation 2013" Ah, KZbin is recommending classic videos again. * Posted 2 weeks ago * What?

[@El_Presidente_5337]

But the videos are atleast old :D Time to get remind what was cool when I was in sixth grade lol.

[@JusticeForPottsvilleMaroons]

I actually enjoy this video so much. From 2008-2012, I was basically a lonely loser still living with my parents. But 2013 was a turning point, because I finally found a steady job, so I didn't feel useless and suicidal...or at least, less of those.

[@MikaelMarius]

well look at this little time capsule... of bollocks

[@Billy-I-Am-Not]

*thinks of the homework, paperwork, and small project I have due on monday* Nah I got 4 hours

[@hunterthemadman]

did you ever finish the project? just curious

[@azzzanadra]

advice: use this as background noise while doing homework etc.

[@brettgt40]

17:05 "...are, and..." I found it. After all these years. The fabled punctuation. They said I was crazy, but they were wrong. We were all fooled. Lied to.

[@ssvineman]

Oooo, Dead Space 3 review kinda hurts six years on. “I'd be more indignant if I thought this would actually work.” Looks at the NBA 2K20 trailer and replies “uhhhhh...” also, Visceral.

[@snark4611]

This was the year I started watching Zero Punctuation so this'll be a good trip down memory lane.

[@brawlstar1748]

The “Tell me more” bit always gets me

[@DannyK1992]

Yeah

[@davidmichaelescobedopachec794]

Well, well, well, looks like I found my alternate elevator music.

[@TheShorts5555]

And I found my new drug dealer name.

[@jantheman4242]

I put these on when going to bed instead of music

[@perryborn2777]

I actually used to get a lot of use out of the WiiU, mostly at school during my last couple years of high school. I would just keep the thing in my backpack all ready to go except being plugged in and then whenever I needed something to do for a class period I'd set my bag down next to a plug, hook it up, then go back to my desk and play the game off the screen controller. Had a great time playing smash bros with friends or breath of the wild

[@christianhawkins7028]

When he said Prince of persia and my mind literally ran through all of them I was sold lol

[@poohsif3272]

Yahtzee yelling was more than enough adrenaline to get the morning going

[@thefierypaladin126]

2:54:08 That head swivel animation

[@vocalist92]

2013 was a weird year for games wasn't it? Being the last of the 7th Gen years. Games were either swan songs to the era or total trash churned out in a rushed state. Either way, it made for a hilarious year of ZP

[@ironwolf5802]

"Let's see if Domino's will make us a sandwich with pizzas, and 9 pizzas instead of..." Ad jumps in: "French fry" and a bunch of other food. Thanks, good to know ad's will inform people they get pizza and fries and not be weird.

[@hoodboy20001]

Ya know I was gonna learn C++ today but then this happened....I got 4 hours to spare

[@neal2399]

Watching the Machine for Pigs and GTAV reviews back to back actually makes the pig jokes that much funnier

[@Timmy_T]

Am I the only one who uses these videos to help me fall asleep or help me waste 4 hours of my life anyway? Yes? No?

[@coitusergosum2447]

Nope

[@starknight7581]

I literally can't fall asleep without hearing yahtzee's voice anymore.

[@tOGGLEwAFFLES]

I just watch these super late at night and it happens to help me sleep, aside from that one time he goes "OI!" and claps.

[@Rhymelie]

I like to use these videos to time how long I've been staring at the screen without any intention of doing anything else. The content is pretty entertaining, too.

[@axelvelazquez183]

The Escapist: "Hey, People are making yearly compilations of Zero Punctuation, (Channels Nintendo´s mindset) THAT'S MY MONEY!!!

[@jordanj809]

They're not wrong. These are Escapist videos

[@Ben_R4mZ]

30:54 is exactly why I love these videos. It's the in your face, unapologetic humor that makes you laugh and shake your head at the same time. It never ceases to disappoint.

[@wellbeef]

I started watching this video on Friday with the intention of watching it a little bit a day, over a week. I can now proudly say that it is Sunday and I have watched it twice! I do not know how!

[@Pumpkin42O]

I like how as we make our way on this journey we get to see him get more and more disappointed in the game industry

[@AlmightyPolarBear]

It's cause creativity and fun don't mean anything when profit is what matters.

[@solustalechoy7698]

"a device with the processing power of an autistic nuclear submarine" As a navy nuke, I feel the need to point out the redundancy of that statement, and also to say that an xbox one has far more processing power than anything in the navy.

[@coreysierchio4650]

I paid off my ultimate mortgage in Animal Crossing over a year ago. I still play every day.

[@Changetheling]

So you've retroactively lost exactly how many hours on your road to the grave?

[@armybirds]

@@Changetheling if you enjoy the time spent, it wasn't wasted

[@armybirds]

well said, andrew

[@armybirds]

yo what the hell that's me that's my comment from 10 months ago that's crazy bro i thought it was someone else named andrew

[@jessh4016]

@@armybirds Nice to know the year and a half I spent doing heroin in a ditch wasn't wasted!

[@Nerdznewznow]

Watching this having lived through 2020 and him making references giant wasps and a man so offensive he acts like hitler and does impressions of people with cerebral palsy makes me feel like he knew about what was coming before we did

[@thehungrychiken]

He also called Bayonetta being added to smash Bros

[@Nerdznewznow]

@@thehungrychiken I don’t know what year it was but he also called that the Paper Mario series would have a hole punch villain

[@nytetubegaming5185]

@@Nerdznewznow he called the hole punch villain in his color splash review

[@ChickenPika]

Part of the fun of these is trying to find what they censored this time.

[@millertime7275]

What do you mean, what got censored?

[@MrGorillafist]

Pre-op transexual changed to pantomime dame in the Brothers review

[@LOLquendoTV]

@@MrGorillafist pretty sure it was that way in the original mate

[@LOLquendoTV]

Yeah, just looked for it 1:27 on the youtube vid and it is indeed the Pantomime Dame

[@jacksonelh]

yeah apparently yahtzee changed it because its pretty mean

[@delmarclapp3350]

2:19:50 "A LIFE FREE OF DEBT? YOU NAIVE FOOL! DEBT IS YOUR LIFE!" American dream in a nutshell.

[@jib6760]

Left me mind blown, I have no doubts that you're inspiring a whole new generations interest in science and technology.

[@qdllc]

Metro 2033 makes sense that it was just about Moscow’s underground because the USSR actually made a mass bomb shelter that doubled as underground transport.

[@EdgyShooter]

Good of war prediction was pretty much dead on 😂

[@thechazzler8934]

You fucked that up in the best way

[@sekoia2812]

4:05:13 There is no escaping it. This is from _2013_ how dare you do this to me

[@emmettniles2099]

Like the England Cricket team, I've been trying to keep up with the Indies. Man that killed me haha

[@shadowthebro4858]

“ yes I equate bereavement with chicken pox” Yahtzee Croshaw 2013

[@lawrencesmith6]

3:09:28 ---> Yahtzee losing his voice 3:12:30 ---> The smell of fear 3:47:18 ---> Jam advertisement 3:05:56 ---> The bit about the drill 3:10:30 ---> "Ogle them to your heart's content, you freak."

[@EhmJB]

I forgot about these round-ups - ah, something to look forward to at the end of 2020.

[@michaelmarksman743]

The new thumbnail is great. 😂

[@WOLF36554]

Jesus Christ, GTA 5, the last of us, papers please, Saint Row 4, Assassin's creed Black flag, bioshock infinite. Man 2013 was a good year for gaming

[@Szczauqa]

Every year is a good year when you cherry pick

[@Vanillastump]

The Biz Markie bit in SR4 was wonderful, regardless of every other criticism about the game, of which I have several. I wanted a wacky GTA clone, I got wackier Crakdown.

[@appelofdoom8211]

2:01:36 takes on a whole new meaning

[@Zomboinie]

This video absolutely had to happen, thank you Escapist.

[@YuzuruA]

hey, 4 hours of procrastination!

[@jamesparkin9384]

Thanks

[@se7enist]

It depresses me sometimes that 2013 was the last time Bushido Blade was mentioned with any amount of relevance. We absolutely need another.

[@fenrir6200]

I really like the little blips of activity in the quarters/halfway through the video. Guarantee you its where everyone skips to when they just click this for some nice cynical background noise

[@FirlowXD]

It will always astound me that Yahtzee gives what can only be described as a glowing review to Survival Instinct, considering the reputation of that game.

[@CPUpwner]

Genuinely surprised they didn't cut out Yahtzee's uses of the r-slur

[@CubiStudios]

Or the F bomb

[@CPUpwner]

@@CubiStudios Okay if they cut every time he said fuck, they would lose like 45 minutes of audio right there

[@CPUpwner]

@Timothy Fitzpatrick Not saying it would be that either, it just seems odd that they would cut out some Hitler jokes, but leave that word in.

[@Serasoftheshire]

These get me through work. I drive around doing deliveries and listen to this.

[@Roariken1]

2:33:00 So is Yahtzee playing 3DS in a prison or did he imprison someone to use as furniture?

[@starwarsmaster]

Still can’t believe he predicted Bayonetta in Smash 4 as a joke.

[@designatedarkhorse]

Did anyone else notice that he referenced jacket potatoes in two consecutive ZPs?

[@reillyobrien4372]

Does anyone else find it fucking astonishing that a ubisoft sandbox got 3rd best game of the year less than a decade ago. Now they've been on a streak of "not quite bland enough for the bland list" for a few years running.

[@missmaggy2u]

Watching this in 2019 after reading "Will Save the Galaxy for Food" 22:40 Devil May Cry review referring to generic bad guy as "mean old Mr Henderson" I wonder when exactly you picked that name for a bad guy, HUH YAHTZ?

[@natsume-hime2473]

Even better was his calling out made up swear words around 1:18:35 something he did for "Will Save the Galaxy for Food."

[@FireheadLazzo]

@@natsume-hime2473 I mean, he historically enjoyed the made up swear words in Thief.

[@gewuerzwanze5627]

Look up the henderson scale

[@lionguardant5468]

He once made a reference to a joke game called Interstellar Bum Pirates which later appeared in Mogworld, and of course he teased the plot of Jam in his dead island review; ‘If the fucking Daleks invade or the entire world gets covered in carnivorous jam, you'll have to make papier-mâché zombie facsimiles just to get through the day.’

[@42Mrgreenman]

19:05 I need to use the term "Cack handed" more often...

[@mjc0961]

"Every 2013 Zero Punctuation episode with no punctuation."

[@merlin5356]

Congratulations you've made the joke literally every single person on the planet has made.

[@everythingsgonnabealright8888]

Rishi Rajan, didn’t look hard enough I guess.

[@PKMNTrainerKelly]

a funny and original joke, if not for everyone else the first time they found this series

[@Duros360]

Loving these compilation vids :D

[@noxlumina8303]

2:22:23 holy crap, that one aged so well

[@nyahola39]

Eggy fart is probably the first yahtzee said that really made sense to me

[@Samurott-td5qw]

man the E3 video where he talks about how they should add bayo is pretty funny

[@countD8852]

3:59:10-ish : It's 2021, I got my PS4 in late 2018, and I still don't think there are enough games on the damn thing to justify my having got it, and the games that I did like on it aren't even on PC yet.

[@shinmalphur2734]

These are the sort of videos you listen too in the background while playing games

[@Taigan_HSE]

@2:17:05 it’s funny in retrospect to hear Yahtzee badmouthing how Hollywood will never do superheroes right now that it feels like they make up half of the box office.

[@Changetheling]

Funny thing is, Hollywood is still not doing superheroes right unless Sam Raimi is at the helm (or unless that movie is called "Iron Man" directed by Jon Favreau).

[@FacepalmNinja995]

Rumor has it that if you watch this video in one sitting on 2x speed you ascend through the astral plane and can directly fight god.

[@starknight7581]

You should try it at .25x speed he sounds drunk.

[@Justlistenflows]

With the Power Of Friendship

[@SevenRedSunsOfficial]

i left to do something at 1:27:57 I WILL BE BACK now i need to leave at 2:28:13 3:04:57

[@qdllc]

FWIW, in Bioshock Infinite, I believe it takes place BEFORE parachutes were invented…or at least in common use.

[@sincereflowers3218]

Think it was set in 1919 so yeah

[@scenczyk1429]

"And if you can persuade 2 horses to stand together you can double your momey" 😂

[@alldayagain]

Fun fact: He made a joke about Margret Thatcher near the beginning and she would die in April of this same year

[@amandajones8841]

Every game in this video is now Retro

[@asaacisimov8621]

2x speed? Nah, half speed is waaaaaaaaaaay funnier.

[@GhostDr3amer]

Since we have 0 views... Taking bets on the number of jokes they cut out this time

[@Arto257]

My money is on 7. Lucky number and all that.

[@SuccubiPie]

What jokes were cut out *last* time?

[@kylerclarke2689]

Imagine wanting to monetize your business. The cowardice!

[@folx2733]

@@kylerclarke2689 monetization is still going to be limited with all the profanity

[@Flowtail]

GhostDreamer to be fair i usually just use it as a sleep aid

[@TheMaidenlessOne]

put this on thinking i would watch a couple and then watch or do something else, then i looked up an 2 hours had passes.

[@Ophiegasm]

5:44 personal bookmark

[@vapid6311]

the year he finally got a decent mic

[@jamesmartinez2749]

5:24 seven years ahead of its time.

[@rocko7711]

Love the Bioshock: Infinite review

[@CrimsonFuqr]

I'm going to watch these until I begin to think in Crowshaw.

[@unknownhall8569]

Someone once pointed out the 6 on resident evil 6 cover looks like a lady blowing a giraffe man. Never was able to unsee it.

[@dodderythedromedary6890]

.-.

[@onepercentautismo8297]

These are the most funniest, better reviews of games under 5 minutes

[@DaRogue101]

1:28:08 HaHa! Little did he know how prophetic this line would be!

[@teganhunter9977]

Yahtzee: Tea, Earl Gray, Hot Me: hey I understood that reference

[@perguto]

4:05:13 When the Yahtzee is ahead of his time by 6 years 😳

[@kazy8029]

7 years before origami king, Yahtzee fucked somehow predicted hole puching in paper mario. Fuck dude...

[@sportsjefe]

He also predicted President Trump in August 2015 (like a month after Trump announced).

[@DunantheDefender]

"There's offensively bad and then there's the kind that dresses up like Hitler and starts doing impressions of people with cerebral palsy" Wow, he predicted Trump's rise this long ago?

[@Kokuyous3ki]

You have been doing this for a while now... I feel old. Btw, I have finished SystemShock2 as a kid. Didn't even know english at the time... i admit it took a tad out of the enjoyment factor :)

[@swordkingx4874]

it always catches me off guard when these finish as they don't have the outro. They just stop.

[@fireiron369]

27:46 who’s going to tell Yahtz that camels are excellent swimmers and can swim miles a day?

[@Hagunemnon]

"I LOVE SAND." Best comment on anything ever.

[@roguepsykerhaaker4813]

darth vader wants to know your location

[@ninjabiatch101]

Didn’t he use purple monkey dishwasher for red dead redemption? Lol

[@MasterCharlie104]

4:07:35 I tried this out and my finger is already on the trigger.

[@rileyxsko]

That God of War prediction was weirdly close...