Frozen in Time: the motherhood dilemma for single women in China

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The Guardian

The Guardian

Күн бұрын

Fertility tourism is booming for single Chinese women with hopes of future motherhood.
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China's birthrate is at a record low, yet unmarried women are not legally allowed to freeze their eggs there. We meet Lei and Abu, as they travel to the US for the procedure - battling self-doubt and scepticism along the way. What does this mean for womanhood and parenting in modern China?
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#frozenintime #fertilitytourism #china #birthrate #women

Пікірлер: 785
@mannyme2986
@mannyme2986 2 ай бұрын
The influencer reminds me of something I have read recently: This is the generation with the happiest pictures and the saddest lives.
@blbjg5294
@blbjg5294 2 ай бұрын
It's not like before was better. Just listen to old people, the awful things they went through and the hardships... We always tend to look back and think life was better, but is wasn't... It's just our brain tricking us
@Dhyaam5989
@Dhyaam5989 Ай бұрын
​@@blbjg5294True. Some things were always better than past while some things are always better than past.
@Turnpost2552
@Turnpost2552 Ай бұрын
In Chinas Case things are alllllllloooottt better. There gdp was worse than Indias at one point.
@natashadickson4819
@natashadickson4819 Ай бұрын
​​@@blbjg5294 Yes. Same as before.
@nexusyang4832
@nexusyang4832 Ай бұрын
Ain’t that the truth….
@sirmadam8183
@sirmadam8183 2 ай бұрын
Thank you soooooo much for not dubbing the voices. I enjoy hearing the real voices.
@LiberRaider
@LiberRaider Ай бұрын
It is interesting, I agree. The one downside is I can't listen to the documentary as I do chores. That's why I prefer dubbed.
@Van_TT
@Van_TT 2 ай бұрын
I found this documentary to be more engaging due to the cinematic storytelling. Well done to all involved!
@Alex-pr6zv
@Alex-pr6zv 2 ай бұрын
The ending with the flame burning low and then petering out is very a poignant reminder that time takes no prisoners.
@whatrtheodds
@whatrtheodds Ай бұрын
Indeed
@beaumont4045
@beaumont4045 2 ай бұрын
Had a conversation with a colleague of mine back when I was stationed in Beijing. I asked them "China has an excess of 40 million men in the population as compared to women. How come there are so much negative news about women not being able to find a partner?" Then my colleague replied "Yes, there is an excess of men, but there is a deficit of GOOD men." So, yea... can't really argue against that logic.
@frenzybuzz3703
@frenzybuzz3703 2 ай бұрын
Exactly 💯
@frenzybuzz3703
@frenzybuzz3703 2 ай бұрын
Better to stay single than staying in unhealthy relationship.
@shinbi6009
@shinbi6009 2 ай бұрын
Its just Chinese women are picky and want the top 10%.
@shinbi6009
@shinbi6009 2 ай бұрын
All women thinks this way.
@alienkishorekumar
@alienkishorekumar 2 ай бұрын
They all think they can do better.
@sirmadam8183
@sirmadam8183 2 ай бұрын
Whoever produced this did an amazing job.
@Goosher
@Goosher Ай бұрын
Exactly! so glad they made this
@AArco-vc1jj
@AArco-vc1jj Ай бұрын
"Humanity has no remedy for regret" Wow, that hit hard.
@zevil89
@zevil89 Ай бұрын
People have to realize that East Asia has this weird culture wherein before you get married, the guy should already have a house and the guy solely pays for the wedding. In addition, the guy pays for the household expenses. The woman's income is solely hers and for her parents' support. There was this video in Asian Boss where a Chinese girl clearly said in China the guys pay for everything and she's break up with a guy who makes her pay her share. As to how the common person will be able to buy a house by his 30's is beyond me. Such burden is impossible in modern society where cost of living has risen to unreasonable figures. Even in the US, couples can't afford to be single income households. This is the reason why birth rate is down in ALL of East Asia. I don't know why this is not being talked about.
@hanispeace8006
@hanispeace8006 Ай бұрын
Not a weird culture though, its a man responsibility. If you cant take the responsibility means you cant afford to get married.
@sparkyin3d
@sparkyin3d Ай бұрын
So, take it up with the government, don’t blame the women. They are as much of a victim as the men.
@mysterioanonymous3206
@mysterioanonymous3206 Ай бұрын
​@@hanispeace8006😂 total b s
@kreedo5884
@kreedo5884 Ай бұрын
​@@hanispeace8006 by that faulty logic, if the woman can't find a husband that can pay all the bills and provide a house, then she doesn't have the right to bare children.
@slevinlindsay3624
@slevinlindsay3624 Ай бұрын
"Weird" Culture?? have you watched Jerry Springer?
@selimae8539
@selimae8539 2 ай бұрын
Stunning documentary. Congratulations to the film makers and best wishes to the two women.
@9000ck
@9000ck Ай бұрын
What a beautifully made documentary. You rarely come across something of this quality. Plus - it is well edited.
@Barbarossa-heir
@Barbarossa-heir Ай бұрын
When she cried during that one rare dialogue with her father , I felt her deep and cried my heart out ...😢😢 So many things lost , with little affection.
@Bordentown2830
@Bordentown2830 Ай бұрын
What is there to cry about? It's not that no man wants to marry these 30's career women. There are many poor men who want to marry her. The problem is that she is not ready to marry any of the poor men who want to marry her. She is ready to marry only rich men. And the rich men, whom she is trying to marry are not interested in marrying older 30's women like her. These rich men reject 30's career women and marry the younger 20's women. So, these 30's career women remain unmarried forever. In China, They are called leftover women.. And there are 100 million highly educated, high salary leftover women in China..
@chrismeyers5963
@chrismeyers5963 Ай бұрын
@@Bordentown2830 This, this right here, thank you. It seems a lot of goofballs in the comment section seem to not understand this 1 single bit because of their ego and wanting to blame men instead of holding women and their " decisions " accountable
@illapuproductions
@illapuproductions Ай бұрын
@@Bordentown2830exactly she played herself
@saharkhalili5303
@saharkhalili5303 Ай бұрын
All the incel microsphere bros in your replies 💀
@chrismeyers5963
@chrismeyers5963 Ай бұрын
@@saharkhalili5303 Hmm, I'm not an incel my friend, stating facts doesn't make 1 an incel but bashing those who speak those facts does
@beatpirate8
@beatpirate8 2 ай бұрын
this so parallels my life in the US as a single working woman. i wish for more but hard to make a life plan on your own. wishing you both much luck through your journey in life
@Fossils5481
@Fossils5481 Ай бұрын
The problem is that These 30's career women are only ready to marry men who are richer than herself, more educated than herself and getting more salary than herself.. But, these "top rich men" want to marry only 20's women. They don’t want to marry 30's career women. And these 30's career women are not willing to marry the poor men who are ready to marry her.. So, she remains unmarried forever.. while, The poor men go to the villages and marry poor women or marry women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc..
@Persistentdreamer91
@Persistentdreamer91 Ай бұрын
Sending love and positivity from 🇦🇺🤗 life has a way of surprising us, wishing you the best.
@nityasg2260
@nityasg2260 Ай бұрын
@@Fossils5481 Search about divorce rates of those marriages 2 & 5 years after those women get green card.
@suziepickes702
@suziepickes702 Ай бұрын
​@@Fossils5481 incel
@rafaeldolfe
@rafaeldolfe Ай бұрын
@@suziepickes702 im curious, what do you think is the reason for the problem?
@adw6894
@adw6894 Ай бұрын
I realize that people are very active in criticizing single moms, but they say nothing about men who abandon his children and don't even pay child support. Single moms are way better than those irresponsible dads.
@tigerbear3038
@tigerbear3038 Ай бұрын
What the heck are you talking about? These men are criticized just the same. And, child support is a more complicated issue. If a man was tricked into conceiving a child or the woman is initiated a divorce, then these might be some situations where it is not just for a man to pay child support.
@lenzi1345
@lenzi1345 Ай бұрын
​@@tigerbear3038 if the woman initiated a divorce the Man should not support his children? This is an absurd connection to make..
@tigerbear3038
@tigerbear3038 Ай бұрын
@@lenzi1345 he should be given the choice if he wants to pay or not. Which part of it is absurd ?
@Jespidi
@Jespidi Ай бұрын
@@tigerbear3038 His kids too. What logic is this?
@lenzi1345
@lenzi1345 Ай бұрын
@@tigerbear3038 so its the woman should be given the choice if she wants to care about the child. If she doesnt wants it than its the man's task
@greedyreader15
@greedyreader15 15 күн бұрын
This is very enlightening, I enjoyed it. Having a chinese friend really helped me understand the different mindset, she said she would get married because she feels obligated to do so, and not doing so would bring shame to her family. She also told me of how despite being well off, her mother's family she was treated because of the fact that she was a girl. So yes, I'm all for single women going ahead and having children on their own, no child deserves to be their grandparents' less loved relative, nor do women deserve to have to settle down in loveless marriages.
@hl3517
@hl3517 Ай бұрын
This is the era where we can choose our own freedom to take care our body, health & financial. Marriage is a big step of sacrifice to these 3 things. It even depletes our time & mind. Be mindfulness to pick the choice because it is gonna drag you to the sadness or happiness.. Create your own path not follow others.
@nickelandimed
@nickelandimed Ай бұрын
My husband and I are Chinese-American. We have 8 cats and 1 dog. We are expecting our first child next year at the age of 38. We spend very little time on social media. There's a lot of advice I could give but for now I want to say...if the world had less judgment and competition between people, and instead more unity and compassion, everyone will prosper.
@koalatheworld
@koalatheworld Ай бұрын
I love it when you mentioned you had 8 cats ❤ I am a cat parent too 😊
@timetravellergec2043
@timetravellergec2043 Ай бұрын
Haya, 38 for first child???
@whatrtheodds
@whatrtheodds Ай бұрын
Congratulations 🎉 I'm expecting my first at 36 😊
@nickelandimed
@nickelandimed Ай бұрын
​@@whatrtheodds Congrats to you as well 🎊 I hope you are doing well on your life's journeys 💜
@st.6959
@st.6959 28 күн бұрын
@@timetravellergec2043 this is more common now
@jlindsa
@jlindsa Ай бұрын
Egg freezing is a borderline scam. By and large it, it helps women to feel better but that's mostly it. Various journalist have been reporting on the industry, what they promise, what the success rate looks like, and even when happens to the patients after they freeze their eggs. Whenever there is money to be made on people that feel "desperate" for a solution, its worth looking deeper at those companies.
@WillowEverlight
@WillowEverlight 2 ай бұрын
That's ridiculous that it's illegal there to freeze your eggs if you're not married.
@ablamill8357
@ablamill8357 2 ай бұрын
It's an oppressive law by and oppressive lawmaking society.
@nityasg2260
@nityasg2260 Ай бұрын
Everyone's solution for low birth rate is somehow creating more pressure on women instead of making reproductive care / fertility treatment more accessible. You got some states in USA going after IVF . Here you got China that was talking about low birth rate concerns making it difficult for women to access fertility care . Eventually they'll probably see a 4B situation like SK .
@tigerbear3038
@tigerbear3038 Ай бұрын
It should be illegal.
@ablamill8357
@ablamill8357 Ай бұрын
It's a symptom of an oppressive society
@samysdefer
@samysdefer Ай бұрын
conservative countries behave like that
@goodgamernavi
@goodgamernavi 2 ай бұрын
Incredibly well done, I rarely have seen such good documentaries it feels the most human and yet so cinematic I have seen to date so props to you Guardian, keep it up.
@frenzybuzz3703
@frenzybuzz3703 2 ай бұрын
Chinese womem are doing great. Its infinity times better than being stuck in incompatible relationship like my aunts they are tortured in marriage
2 ай бұрын
Do these women look happy to you?
@blbjg5294
@blbjg5294 2 ай бұрын
Yes... Definitely more than the ones stuck in an unwanted marriage
@Fossils5481
@Fossils5481 Ай бұрын
These 30's career women are only ready to men who are richer than herself, more educated than herself and getting more salary than herself.. But, these "rich men" want to marry only 20's women. They don’t want to marry 30's career women. And these 30's career women are not willing to marry the poor men who are ready to marry her.. So, she remains unmarried forever.. The poor men go to the villages and marry poor women or marry women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc..
@adw6894
@adw6894 Ай бұрын
@@Fossils5481 Those "rich men" who want young girls are not genuine men anyway, they will cheat on their wives late. So unmarried 30 years old woman with a stable career and social life gonna be happier than being wives of those ungenuine men.
@adw6894
@adw6894 Ай бұрын
@@Fossils5481 Wise women would not want those men anyway
@mel_issa__
@mel_issa__ 2 ай бұрын
Would love a documentary playlist @Guardian
@theGuardian
@theGuardian 2 ай бұрын
No problem, here it is: kzbin.info/aero/PLa_1MA_DEorG7slzdtQy_SUTn5cACKFsn
@ishunyu
@ishunyu 27 күн бұрын
@@theGuardian Ask and theGuardian shall deliver!
@JohnSmith-mj8hn
@JohnSmith-mj8hn 2 ай бұрын
"Translator: William Clegg" I guess that explains some of the inaccuracies and mistranslations that don't quite fit what was spoken. Just one example: "he zuo huo ban" is better off translated as "co-partner" or "co-operative partner". "Co-producer" conjures up such a different image and impression of what was said.
@sunbather1576
@sunbather1576 2 ай бұрын
@@user-sz3cy2sm2w Actually, she looks and especially acts exactly like the kind of person that would call her partner a "co-producer". (EDIT: which doesn't mean that it isn't an incorrect translation, of course!)
@ozlekosusturu
@ozlekosusturu 2 ай бұрын
Oooooh ok that does change the vibe.
@tiapina7048
@tiapina7048 2 ай бұрын
I don't understand. Why the name of the translator gives you an explanation about the translation?
@mannyme2986
@mannyme2986 2 ай бұрын
​@@sunbather1576 I thought the same!!
@jorsm.3893
@jorsm.3893 2 ай бұрын
@@tiapina7048 I don't get it either + a literal translation is not always the best translation. She grinned right after as well, which seems to indicate she found what she said a bit funny, in that sense "co-producer" doesn't sound bad at all.
@Youwish34
@Youwish34 Ай бұрын
Losing a mother is grief like no other
@NateTheNarrator
@NateTheNarrator Ай бұрын
8:44 "Humankind has no remedy for regret. You must remember this." I felt those words in my soul because of how they ring so true. This life is no dress rehearsal, there are no do-overs or "load last save" options. The decisions we make can shape one's life, for better or for worse.
@NPJGlobal
@NPJGlobal 9 күн бұрын
This should be a mandatory read for all post-modern feminists and incels
@randomjack1995
@randomjack1995 Ай бұрын
A disillusioned generation, our younger citizens were raise in a very optimistic period, but in their formative years everything is going worse.
@janoraj4667
@janoraj4667 Ай бұрын
I feel so lucky to have a family this could easily have been me. I hope they will find their happiness
@dominicm255
@dominicm255 Ай бұрын
This is deep. I hope the film makers continue to work together. Fantastic. Thank you
@nyeusiafric
@nyeusiafric Ай бұрын
This was deep, honest, real, and informative about today's human condition/experience. Thank you.
@beanzbeanz
@beanzbeanz Ай бұрын
Cinematic. Beautifully shot and directed.
@tonyah3488
@tonyah3488 2 ай бұрын
Beautifully made and so poignant
@counterculture10
@counterculture10 Ай бұрын
This is a very interesting documentary. As a Western man who has no experience on this topic, I really felt for these ladies. They seemed genuine and longed to be mothers. I hope they attain their dreams.
@Bordentown2830
@Bordentown2830 Ай бұрын
It's not that no man wants to marry these 30's career women. There are many poor men who want to marry her. The problem is that she is not ready to marry any of the poor men who want to marry her. She is ready to marry only rich men. And the rich men, whom she is trying to marry are not interested in marrying older 30's women like her. These rich men reject 30's career women and marry the younger 20's women. So, these 30's career women remain unmarried forever. In China, They are called leftover women.. And there are 100 million highly educated, high salary leftover women in China.
@adkldy8158
@adkldy8158 Ай бұрын
They are wrapped up in the unique values ​​of East Asia. I think this is something very deep. As an East Asian woman, I understand this feeling. We have a lot of anxiety about age and marriage and childbearing. Everyone in society will judge you, so seeing this really makes me feel very uncomfortable and heavy.
@jnd5706
@jnd5706 Ай бұрын
​@@Bordentown2830Most women want to marry someone who is at least as intelligent and educated as they are. As a woman, intelligence is a huge turn on for me. I'm very educated and well travelled myself and don't typically find men who aren't those things attractive. Money doesn't really come into it (I have dated men who earn less than me); it's more about being able to have a decent conversation with someone.
@frwololo
@frwololo Ай бұрын
I actually had a very hard time understanding the motivations of these two ladies. One admitted to not wanting to be a mother, but felt that it was her duty. The motivation of the second one wasn't very clear either, beyond "I'm getting old and I might one day regret not having kids". The documentary is well edited but at the end of the day I failed to understand the true reasons here. It also doesn't go into the legal details of the situation,which I fond very interesting. Surely pregnancy tourism like this is in a gray area legally? But there sems to be a whole industry of people profiting from it... That's an aspect they barely mention!
@Saltbrush0521
@Saltbrush0521 Ай бұрын
​@@jnd5706... If the whole point is to get married and have a family with healthy children, what does a successful above 35+ year old woman have to offer a rich man that doesn't need or care about her salary or money?
@lucasgdrezes
@lucasgdrezes Ай бұрын
There are things you just don't tell your family. Specially when you already know they'll be against it.
@weidchar1646
@weidchar1646 Ай бұрын
They weren't harsh or anything. Simply giving their advice on what they think would lead to their daughter(s) having happier lives. What's the problem with that?
@evevoxx2053
@evevoxx2053 Ай бұрын
that one guy had some serious well thought out n deep foresight. he knows exactly where this is going. they wont lower their standards or settle now cuz they think they have this plan b.... why cant people understand that peace, belonging & relationships are a choice that requires hard work and dedication.
@1HeatWalk
@1HeatWalk Ай бұрын
​I agree. His point of her using this method and pushing the need to find a compatible partner sooner holds true.
@rc3398x
@rc3398x Ай бұрын
Your advice is actually horrible. This won't end well. She is delaying the inevitable.
@drummerfreak69
@drummerfreak69 2 ай бұрын
This is brilliantly put together! Well Done The Guardian.
@RichardPonsford-kv2uy
@RichardPonsford-kv2uy 2 ай бұрын
It ain’t the 60’s no more. Women are independent, and the pipe and slippers days are well and truly over.
@yadusolparterre
@yadusolparterre Ай бұрын
Women? Independent? In China? HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
@adw6894
@adw6894 Ай бұрын
@@yadusolparterre Yes. And that makes you mad?
@Rawlins7482
@Rawlins7482 Ай бұрын
A woman ain't single and lonely because she is Strong and Independent.. She is lonely because Nobody wants To Deal with her..
@DeniDays312
@DeniDays312 Ай бұрын
​@Rhodohypoxis7482 does the same thing go for the millions of American men who are suicidal due to being lonely and sexless?
@darthvader3910
@darthvader3910 Ай бұрын
Niiiice ​@@DeniDays312
@FuuzBeeen
@FuuzBeeen 2 ай бұрын
The orange hair lady with one of her family members telling her that she'll regret it, come on...and the dark haired lady got cheated on by him? man, both of these women look nice to me, I think they would be nice to get to know if they also have the intended promise of a family.
@wl6020
@wl6020 Ай бұрын
Their standards are very high. Average chinese women are looking for a top 20% guy at minnimum.
@letsdomath1750
@letsdomath1750 Ай бұрын
@@wl6020 The influencer had a partner already. He was not loyal. Her standards were not high enough.
@wl6020
@wl6020 Ай бұрын
@@letsdomath1750 oh her standards are high enough. He is not loyal because he has options, while an average chinese guy has no options. Biggest question is, can she lock him down and have him buy a ring, marry her.
@natashadickson4819
@natashadickson4819 Ай бұрын
​@@wl6020 Don't lock down an unfaithful man. Let him go.
@wl6020
@wl6020 Ай бұрын
@@natashadickson4819 unfaithful men is unfaithful for a reason, it means he is doing something right to have so many options, either tall, rich, has game, handsome etc. Women wont settle for a average man with average height, money, etc.
@saraandkoda
@saraandkoda Ай бұрын
Lots of incels in this comment section lol
@jayrollo1352
@jayrollo1352 12 күн бұрын
Where? What are you talking about.
@clothyardshafts
@clothyardshafts 2 ай бұрын
Excellent work and so informative.
@cultusdeus
@cultusdeus Ай бұрын
Dramatic. But most of these procedures aren't successful.
@DonChups
@DonChups 2 ай бұрын
Thanks for making this dosumentary and uploading it. It's really interesting and touching.
@RedPanda79
@RedPanda79 Ай бұрын
😢such a lack of supportive family
@elicorsier4162
@elicorsier4162 Күн бұрын
"Humankind has no remedy for regret." Well-spoken.
@drummerfreak69
@drummerfreak69 2 ай бұрын
should do one from the Male perspective.. it will be interesting to see the similarities and contrast..
@Fossils5481
@Fossils5481 Ай бұрын
This is the male perspective... The poor Chinese men go to the villages and marry poor women or marry women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc.. These 30's career women are only ready to men who are richer than herself, more educated than herself and getting more salary than herself.. But, these "rich men" want to marry only 20's women. They don’t want to marry 30's career women. And these 30's career women are not willing to marry the poor men who are ready to marry her.. So, she remains unmarried forever..
@DeniDays312
@DeniDays312 Ай бұрын
​@Fontana5481 what documentary did you see that in?
@douglei4413
@douglei4413 Ай бұрын
​@@DeniDays312. KZbin. "Leftover woman."
@skillbopster
@skillbopster Ай бұрын
LOL the guardian is anti-male.
@rpaafourever7908
@rpaafourever7908 Ай бұрын
​@@Fossils5481 Over simplified.. men need to learn to look within and become emotionally intelligent.. projecting blaming as reality check wont cut it anymore
@DavidA-411
@DavidA-411 22 күн бұрын
Impressive video on a complicated, emotional, topic. It's never been easy to find the "right" partner. These days of immense options, the idea of success is much harder to define. What is it to have family when trust is so fleeting, even with the best intentions.
@NPJGlobal
@NPJGlobal 9 күн бұрын
any path to going back to a world of fewer options and more pragmatism in one's choices?
@geinikan1kan
@geinikan1kan 2 ай бұрын
Brilliantly moving and touching film. This is what documentary can do.
@ronaldkable
@ronaldkable Ай бұрын
These are very real, very human people
@GardeDuCoeur
@GardeDuCoeur 4 күн бұрын
'Co-producer' In a few words, everything is said...
@drosera8943
@drosera8943 28 күн бұрын
Abu's cats are so adorably fluffy! I hope both women find satisfaction in life whether or not marriage or children happen. It is rare to have everything you want and be content.
@jayrollo1352
@jayrollo1352 12 күн бұрын
That's why they are single. They're holding out for the perfect man who doesn't exist.
@HarukiYamamoto
@HarukiYamamoto 2 ай бұрын
7:07 the parents are right. Freezing eggs is not 100% guaranteed.
Ай бұрын
Nothing in life is 100% guaranteed..
@nityasg2260
@nityasg2260 Ай бұрын
Exactly
@Ffollies
@Ffollies Ай бұрын
It's not even close to guaranteed. I believe the success rate is pretty low, maybe 20% for those trying to conceive using frozen eggs. It's not very successful usually.
@nityasg2260
@nityasg2260 Ай бұрын
@@Ffollies Depends on the number of eggs frozen & the age.
@Ffollies
@Ffollies Ай бұрын
@@nityasg2260 Yes of course we all know that, but overall for women who chose this path, it's usually unsuccessful. Also considering the cost, it should be a last resort IMO.
@jamesdrake3651
@jamesdrake3651 Ай бұрын
No one can have it all. Not men. Not women.
@jxy1986
@jxy1986 2 ай бұрын
她的情况跟我差不多,但父亲比我的父亲好。我父亲嘴里永远不会说出那么好的话来。断子绝孙也挺好的。
@hempstonesmithotieno2379
@hempstonesmithotieno2379 Ай бұрын
Beautiful piece. Cinematic. Enjoyed it ❤
@god563616
@god563616 6 күн бұрын
I had no idea the more you age the more you miss your loved ones . It sometimes is a hard feeling to deal with.
@bevs9995
@bevs9995 Ай бұрын
freezing your eggs is no big deal. a bad marriage can cut years off your life. Is divorce somehow better? Looks just as embarrassing to me.
@arachnid4910
@arachnid4910 Ай бұрын
this was really well done
@salmon.samurai8469
@salmon.samurai8469 21 күн бұрын
I felt for Abi when they were versing her with the visa. I totally understand as governments have to be careful and screen people....but she doesnt deserve that hard time either....
@sinhaashish54
@sinhaashish54 Ай бұрын
We all complain about things not happening in our lives but fail to look beyond our biases that may have role in perpetuating those failed plans.
@casioak1683
@casioak1683 Ай бұрын
I love how in the other comments say "this is our choice" "for independence" "free women" yet at the same time: lonely & depressed
@kilujuma1234
@kilujuma1234 Ай бұрын
​@@casioak1683like any men that cheats
@whatrtheodds
@whatrtheodds Ай бұрын
The art🎨🎭 the talent ❤ the skill. Thankyou for doing such quality work for this documentary!!!! I was so invested while watching.🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
@MrMark595
@MrMark595 2 ай бұрын
Modernity had brought many great advancements but also huge disruption-socially, culturally and economically. Traditions, norms, rituals have been swept away-some good, some bad-a sense of community lost and probably gone forever. It has left us many of us unmoored and desperately, desperately lonely. Rampant materialism does not help. These two women are not happy. In fact they seem sad.
@katinkaraab1964
@katinkaraab1964 2 ай бұрын
You mean, it would be better to still female Babys? Like they did in China?
@frenzybuzz3703
@frenzybuzz3703 2 ай бұрын
It's still better than staying or being trapped I'm abusive relationships. Remember in the past women were firced and rped in marriages and were not even able to divorce so current time is better 😊
@frenzybuzz3703
@frenzybuzz3703 2 ай бұрын
It's still better than staying or being trapped I'm abusive relationships. Remember in the past women were firced and rped in marriages and were not even able to divorce so current time is better 😊
@frenzybuzz3703
@frenzybuzz3703 2 ай бұрын
In the past women were not able to leave abusive relationship and it's better to stay single than being stuck in an incompatible relationship..😊
@MrMark595
@MrMark595 2 ай бұрын
@@katinkaraab1964 No, that isn't what I'm saying-that's one of those 'so you're saying' platitudes you are using. That's a bad faith argument. You are trying to put words in my mouth. You must try and be more nuanced in arguments and less reflexively ideological.
@MiMiiViVi
@MiMiiViVi Ай бұрын
We don't need more population growth. We are twice the limit now, There's nothing wrong with not having children and there are plenty of wonderful, orphaned children that need loving homes instead.
@kainewme743
@kainewme743 2 ай бұрын
This is just like a movie.
@ca8099
@ca8099 Ай бұрын
This was beautifully done
@derpderpderpPSN
@derpderpderpPSN Ай бұрын
4:33 As a Tianjin native, hearing her say "today" in that thick authentic Tianjin accent was 👌👌👌👌👌
@sneakytaze5336
@sneakytaze5336 12 күн бұрын
So basically like any Nordic country? The girl with the black hair I mean, hard to find the right people and connect in a society like Finland where personal space is a big deal, and people are very anti-social usually whenever meeting new people or in public.
@sparkyin3d
@sparkyin3d Ай бұрын
As a mother of four children, there’s no physical experience in this universe that came close to the love I felt except with the grandchildren ❤! It’s as close to connecting to the divine as I have come in the physical. ❤
@rpaafourever7908
@rpaafourever7908 Ай бұрын
You don't speak for everyone, every human being is already connected to the divine
@natashadickson4819
@natashadickson4819 Ай бұрын
​@@rpaafourever7908⭐️
@natashadickson4819
@natashadickson4819 Ай бұрын
There's no way that this is true for every woman. Otherwise, there would be no abuse or neglect in the world.
@sparkyin3d
@sparkyin3d Ай бұрын
@@rpaafourever7908 Thank you for the reminder love, I have edited my reply to speak for myself
@ibiro868
@ibiro868 Ай бұрын
So poetic. Are you looking for a 5th 😍😍??
@DonCE0
@DonCE0 Ай бұрын
that bit where she told the family was so intense, i had to pause to take a breather.
@TomGrob
@TomGrob Ай бұрын
ReplicantPhish: Sheng Nu 😂
@NoctLightCloud
@NoctLightCloud Ай бұрын
4:17 his reaction is kinda messed up. she should ditch him. so many men even in their 30s want to play around and never have responsibilities.
@JamesPain1203
@JamesPain1203 Ай бұрын
If she was wife material then he would have married her already.
@Sisterlisk
@Sisterlisk Ай бұрын
How long does a loving couple need to put off marriage for? They're adorable together.
@dougmacgregor5053
@dougmacgregor5053 2 ай бұрын
well done!
@evanwiechert3168
@evanwiechert3168 17 күн бұрын
Fertility tourism is a global issue, this is happening practically everywhere in the world right now
@johnalver
@johnalver Ай бұрын
You know the government could make safe drugs they just choose not too!
@baha3alshamari152
@baha3alshamari152 Ай бұрын
Drugs for what exactly
@ToastedBagel5G
@ToastedBagel5G 15 күн бұрын
I think this will be more common going into the future based on the direction we're heading
@thecsucihai
@thecsucihai Ай бұрын
China should find a way to export these modern Chinese women to Western countries. I hear a lot of Western men are going their own way seeking Asian women. Win win as president Xi would say.
@roymoxley2587
@roymoxley2587 Ай бұрын
No you are really asking for some serious problems if you think these women are any better there 10 times worse
@JamesPain1203
@JamesPain1203 Ай бұрын
No thank you. They're just like the women over here already which is why they are in the same situation as the woman here already
@kamome7098
@kamome7098 12 күн бұрын
All east Asia has below replacement birth rate
@21stcenturyshowgirl
@21stcenturyshowgirl Ай бұрын
This is so beautiful. I love this woman and her brother and their mother. They are divine to me.
@XiraKira13
@XiraKira13 Ай бұрын
Great documentary!
@cofa4011
@cofa4011 2 ай бұрын
F this era...
@suziepickes702
@suziepickes702 Ай бұрын
Lol I love this era
@Saltbrush0521
@Saltbrush0521 Ай бұрын
This video left out intentionally or not intentionally the leftover men (光棍)which dated way before the leftover women(剩女). And yes, the women are the ones choosing. In China, typically a woman ask a home (very expensive in China), a car (German ones preferred) and a large sum of cash (彩礼) payable to the woman's parents or the woman herself as the mandatory condition to get married. This problem is quite complicated with historical and social imbalance reasons. It is way more complex than the typicall western feminists' complaining of men supressing women situation.
@evelyna_paula1747
@evelyna_paula1747 Ай бұрын
The Guardian has earnt a lot from the BBC. I think some of its employees are former BBC journlists.
@daithimccaffrey
@daithimccaffrey Ай бұрын
What alovely and moving piece and it speaks to oppression.
@gardenjoy5223
@gardenjoy5223 Ай бұрын
That family drives me crazy. She can't wait till 35, that's the problem. A female relative rather has it the 'natural' way. Yeah, SHE TOO. But you can't get her a matching husband out of the magic hat, now can you?
@grr5947
@grr5947 Ай бұрын
If at 35 you are still waiting for the perfect Prince Charming sure, you can't
@gardenjoy5223
@gardenjoy5223 Ай бұрын
@@grr5947 ??? "If at 35" ??? That's years away here.
@Incog05
@Incog05 Ай бұрын
​@@grr5947the truth is that prince doesn't exist
@justaloner9033
@justaloner9033 23 күн бұрын
What about ADOPTION?
@danielshaw-smith2766
@danielshaw-smith2766 Ай бұрын
Harsh when Dad calls you out for being a cat lady.
@nivmhn
@nivmhn Ай бұрын
This was a great documentary.
@adkldy8158
@adkldy8158 Ай бұрын
They are wrapped up in the unique values ​​of East Asia. I think this is something very deep. As an East Asian woman, I understand this feeling. We have a lot of anxiety about age and marriage and childbearing. Everyone in society will judge you, so seeing this really makes me feel very uncomfortable and heavy.🥲Living abroad for so long I feel like I've escaped from this culture, but this video really makes me depressed
@DavidZ4-gg3dm
@DavidZ4-gg3dm 2 ай бұрын
At the same time, the world's poorest have a ridiculous number of kids, not caring that they can't provide for them.
@ChartreuseDan
@ChartreuseDan 2 ай бұрын
"-watch your life slide out of view so you dance and drink and 🪛 because there's nothing else to do" - Jarvis Cocker
@elenarewd9299
@elenarewd9299 2 ай бұрын
Maybe the poorest are more worthy of having children than the richest…..
@everythingisfine9988
@everythingisfine9988 2 ай бұрын
@@elenarewd9299 Not if most (if not all) of those kids ⚰🪦
@dougmacgregor5053
@dougmacgregor5053 2 ай бұрын
@DavidZ4-gg3dm & everythingsfine9988 "At the same time, the world's poorest have a ridiculous number of kids, not caring that they can't provide for them." Wow DavidZ4, do you ever have first world problems. And likely white too. They can't get an abortion because of their religion (sound familiar) they cant get birth control products, even condoms in many countries, again their religion and the society. Do you really believe that a mother and father don't care if their children are malnourished? Regardless of where they live, like maybe America? You've actually met such mothers, have you? You have no concept of what you just had to say about poor white people. You don't get it do you...
@mel_issa__
@mel_issa__ 2 ай бұрын
​Maybe that's why they have many children. Ever think of that? ​@@everythingisfine9988
@selenaclarke
@selenaclarke 2 ай бұрын
I really enjoyed learning about these Chinese Woman. More please, very beautiful
@saharkhalili5303
@saharkhalili5303 Ай бұрын
Beautiful. This is a difficult and excruciating time for women, without much guidance support or sympathy, women feel really lost. I'm 37 now. The period between 31-35 was especially stressful and ultimately, humiliating. Why
@ibiro868
@ibiro868 Ай бұрын
Time ran out
@Youwish34
@Youwish34 Ай бұрын
Why didn’t you travel and further your education. Volunteer in your community. Adopted or foster children?
@saharkhalili5303
@saharkhalili5303 Ай бұрын
😂 the audacity. You don't know anything about me, you're projecting
@Youwish34
@Youwish34 Ай бұрын
@@saharkhalili5303 you are the one saying women feel really lost. Why do you speak of all women? Women you are the one projecting 😂.
@casioak1683
@casioak1683 Ай бұрын
​@@Youwish34adopting a child is not as simple as buying smartphone from online store. You will be surprised with the adopted child later in life because she/he is not genetically similar with you, expect a surprise comes from her/his personality.
@Nullifed787
@Nullifed787 Ай бұрын
How I am hearing it is… The dilemma is about the money, there’s no other risks in freezing eggs. Why is it so debilitating?
@zoeredadams
@zoeredadams Ай бұрын
there are risks. it can have significant complications
@LaitoChen
@LaitoChen Ай бұрын
You need to read more about egg freezing. Its anything but risk free. And the success rate is under 20%
@JamesPain1203
@JamesPain1203 Ай бұрын
It's a scam. The success rate is like 20%
@CharlesBliss84
@CharlesBliss84 Ай бұрын
I feel like my ovaries are quite empty now.
@walsakaluk1584
@walsakaluk1584 Ай бұрын
Egg storage facilities can and do fail. Here's hoping. These are not what you'd describe as functional, lucid individuals in a normal world. There's an element of irrational indulgence in this.
@st.6959
@st.6959 28 күн бұрын
I dont agree with ppl from other countries having babies on american soil for the passport..(I know thats not what theyre doing in this video but chinese women/families and others do this)
@dlewis8405
@dlewis8405 Ай бұрын
I have to agree with the male relative who advises against egg freezing because her subconscious will lead her astray. She will just put off addressing why she isn't having a child now, or at least earnestly finding a partner if a family is what she really wants.
@havealavalyday543
@havealavalyday543 Ай бұрын
Or it might not make her put off addressing it, and it might be the safest decision for her.
@philopsyche
@philopsyche Ай бұрын
1:12 what is happening rn?
@StutteringJourney-ic3sp
@StutteringJourney-ic3sp Ай бұрын
why is being a mother to a family, seen as a distraction?
@ithinkiknowme6450
@ithinkiknowme6450 29 күн бұрын
Because a woman has to do physical labour for her family 24/7 for free while a man can get paid by his boss and he can leave or cheat anytime he wants.. The amount of hardwork mothers put in the family can solely be represented by the fact that they can never have a secret second family... Women are at much higher risk in marriage and life due to men..
@StutteringJourney-ic3sp
@StutteringJourney-ic3sp 28 күн бұрын
@@ithinkiknowme6450 Ok, and a man can work his whole life and then the woman decides to divorce, take half of his money and take the kids. Both sides of a marriage can break down, that's why we must only mary people we love and trust....
@tunkytunky
@tunkytunky 27 күн бұрын
It can be, if you have hobbies/ goals. But as a mother, that stuff takes a backseat only while your children are toddlers. From about kindergarten age they're much easier to manage and since they're in school, it's easier to get back into the things you love or start working again. Even if you homeschool they become easy to deal with. My 11 year old just like to chill and read Harry Potter all day on the weekends, if I let her. A lot of non-moms don't seem to remember kids get more independent. I think in East Asia there is a problem in which women are often expected to taken care of their in-laws, so marriage becomes a prison in which she is enslaved to her mother- in-law. I've witnessed this first- hand! My husband's mother had to take care of her abusive mother in law all her life, even though she should have been "free" rather early since she only had one child. That's an easy problem to solve, just don't live with your in-laws and create strong boundaries (which is exactly what I did. Told my husband while we were still dating that I won't deal with his mom beyond the bare minimum. Saved A LOT of stress for me)
@StutteringJourney-ic3sp
@StutteringJourney-ic3sp 27 күн бұрын
@@tunkytunky I get that, thanks for sharing
@AtheistEve
@AtheistEve Ай бұрын
Lovely. Now do a documentary showing two hundred women who absolutely love being single and child-free.
@DoubleStankyLegs
@DoubleStankyLegs Ай бұрын
They did it’s call girls gone wild
@AtheistEve
@AtheistEve Ай бұрын
@@DoubleStankyLegs I’m talking about women, not girls. Women who have been living happy, full, rich, connected lives. There are many child-free and/or unmarried people who are thriving. We can all find the one or two examples of a small local problem. But let’s not get it out of proportion.
@ortros1
@ortros1 Ай бұрын
​@@AtheistEvedo you think most of the single people are happy, rich, well-connected and thriving? Don't get me wrong, there are also plenty of married people who are miserable; however I don't think it's a majority though. And I also agree with you (I'm assuming you mean this - even though you didn't express it out loud): marriage and parenthood aren't for everybody.
@jkc877
@jkc877 Ай бұрын
@@AtheistEve they will always say they are happy even if they aren't
@AtheistEve
@AtheistEve Ай бұрын
@@jkc877 If you are going to deny someone’s personal testimony, why would you bother to watch _any_ documentary like this one? Or, do you only accept someone’s personal testimony when it’s something you agree with?
@KS-cl8br
@KS-cl8br Ай бұрын
Voice over in english and no music
@PerryViolin
@PerryViolin Ай бұрын
What about the Fathers tho? 🤔 Daddies are just as important, maybe even more so! 👨🏻‍🍼😍🥰
@KS-cl8br
@KS-cl8br Ай бұрын
Certainly not more important 😂 you are on something
@rickysampson8759
@rickysampson8759 Ай бұрын
@@KS-cl8brsingle father vs single mother crime statistics.
@JamesPain1203
@JamesPain1203 Ай бұрын
​@@KS-cl8brfathers provide structure, discipline, confidence, guidance, protection, knowledge. We are the most important. Loom up the stats of the outcome of children raised by a single mom vs a single dad and then tell me if you still think the same....
@KS-cl8br
@KS-cl8br Ай бұрын
@@rickysampson8759 single fathers who are the main parent are few and far between most single parents are mothers and many guys abandon their kids
@KS-cl8br
@KS-cl8br Ай бұрын
@@JamesPain1203 seriously when a kid needs something they call out for their mother
@robertmarley8852
@robertmarley8852 Ай бұрын
She's a cat lady 🤣🤣😭🤣😭🤣🤠
@bevs9995
@bevs9995 Ай бұрын
most millenials own dogs. This is just chinese media perpetuating misogyny... theyll come after the dogs soon tho
@limitlesky
@limitlesky Ай бұрын
as if men don't have pet cats. I'm sure she would have a cat whether married or single.
@selfishgirlsgofirst
@selfishgirlsgofirst Ай бұрын
how is that an insult??
@bevs9995
@bevs9995 Ай бұрын
@@limitlesky Men die with dogs.. dogs keep the bed warm
@roymoxley2587
@roymoxley2587 Ай бұрын
And she will stay a cat Lady
@ThAsSq30
@ThAsSq30 Ай бұрын
errr perhaps every single lady should lower their standard in finding men?
@FRAMEDSKATEKREW69
@FRAMEDSKATEKREW69 19 күн бұрын
they couldve just asked me nicely bro, 200k? i would do it for 20k or make me a stay at home dad taking care of the kid lol
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