The Emotions Expert: The Lies You Believe About Emotions Are Destroying Your Relationships

Neuroscientist, psychologist, and author Lisa Feldman Barrett discusses the complexities of the brain, our emotions, improving ourselves and our relationship with others, making good decisions, and giving yourself an existential break.
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00:00 - Intro
01:00 - Feldman-Barrett's background in emotions
04:42 - Emotions, defined (kind of)
12:40 - Feelings vs. Emotions
20:47 - Kids and emotions
26:12 - Myth: Is suppressing feelings bad?
31:22 - The best habits for regulating your emotions
33:36 - Myth: Are people actually more emotional than others?
39:51 - Myth: How does your brain impact your emotions?
47:04 - Best way to comfort someone who is anxious or sad
51:00 - Breathing routine for relaxation and control
56:00 - Myth: Are there universal emotions?
57:57 - Myth: Is love an emotion?
1:00:49 - Myth: How do emotions impact your decisions?
01:07:49 - How to overcome the reality of your head to live in the reality of the world
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ABOUT THE KNOWLEDGE PROJECT
Like the mentor you’ve always dreamed of having, The Knowledge Project shares timely yet timeless lessons for work and life. Past guests include Naval Ravikant, Daniel Kahneman, Jim Collins, Angela Duckworth, Seth Godin, Melanie Mitchell, & Esther Perel.

[@djoy1391]

As a former smoker I think one of the things that people forget about is the deep breathing, particularly the slow exhale, involved in the process. Obviously, smoking is really bad but the part we could keep is the going outside, potentially with a friend, and having a chat while we do deep breathing for 5 minutes.

[@supervyk]

So true

[@loberleitner1]

That is such a great parallel to make. Interesting commonality.

[@tessajetta8146]

That is what I miss the most. Going outside, socializing, deep breathing.

[@tkppodcast]

Share your favorite part of the convo below 👇. If you enjoyed this episode, Hit the like button on the video! It helps us a lot. 🙏

[@ivfchic3316]

This is fascinating! I don't tell my daughter to stop crying, it can be 15 minutes of screaming but I hold that space (she is home schooled) we then have a cuddle. It could be sadness but mostly it's frustration or anger which are such huge emotions for her little body. It's allowed in our home (but obviously not socially accepted elsewhere) We are beginning to talk about transmuting those emotions into energy as a driver to move forward (which is what I've done as a child) I don't know if what I'm doing is right, but she cries very little and its a normal emotional response. As I say, it is hard (but I've had to work on myself a lot to be able to hold this space for her) There is always growth in struggle.

[@firsthelix6726]

Amazing, sounds like love in it's most sincere form!

[@annmarieknapp]

So excited for this interview. Dr. Feldman-Barret has radically shifted how we study emotion and in particular, interoception (our perception of our bodily sensations, like heartbeat sensations). Looking forward to this interview.

[@YanGao-uz4pj]

This is really exciting to know the new way to measure emotions! I guess the emotion in the brain is so abstract or the current medical tool is not able to capture the dynamics in the brain. The memory is definitely in out mind but the current measurement tool Iis not possible to project the picture for the memory. Unless someday, we will develop a very sensitive tool and know how to present the abstract dynamics in a vivid way. Dr. Barrett is really making a significant contribution in the important area!

[@sayusayme7729]

As a neurodivergent person I struggle with not only facial expressions, but inflection, energy, stance, voice control or speed. Often discombobulated as it feels like so many are hiding theirs. Interesting chat. Thank you

[@karinah5487]

Shane, your questions and interaction are so good and natural. I enjoyed this interview very much with Lisa. I leave with the reminder to BREATHE to the bottom of my lungs. Thank you!

[@lisaskye296]

Thank you for sharing

[@thaliakate444]

Insightful conversation. How to Human 101.

[@stacielivinthedream8510]

Yes! Unfortunately, we need to be reprogrammed! People are waking up all over the place to so much!

[@UssiTheGrouch]

A conversation between her and Brenè Brown would be very interesting...

[@S_H9260]

47:23 I also ask people, "do you want me to help or do you want me to listen?" because my instinct is to come up with a solution. It is useful.

[@user-jw1bl4hq9j]

I believe my emotions ALWAYS …IF I AM SAD IS BECAUSE I DID NOT GET what I was hopping for or other people made sure I would not get it …..so I am quite the opposite …..I will always go into the direction where I am welcomed and appreciated…..

[@elsavelaz]

Can you please describe the role of 911 operators and their discernment in accepting calls only if the person conforms to their “I don’t want to deal with your emotions ?” Recently experienced this and it was NOT OK

[@lonelyoldfathomelessbum]

Ty

[@Manehoph]

Thats why emotion will only have feelings according to its context, meaning , context will provide the feelings behind this categorical emotion, i guess of logic comes from syncronized affect, if its not syncronized thou, we have different intellegence too, if I am angry, it is logical to for me to shout. its the affect we get our intellegence.

[@elsavelaz]

Can you also comment on facial recognition software and the assumptions that they are based on?

[@jyothishmg5041]

How actors evoke emotions through conscious process...?

[@DJSTOEK]

❤❤❤

[@evadebruijn]

✌️