107. Doubting No Contact

Does no contact really work? Is no contact really what I should be doing to win my ex back? What is no contact?
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#NoContact #exback #breakups

[@maimai8958]

Law 16 Use absence to increase respect and honor. Create VALUE through scarcity. 💪😉

[@munirazaira5465]

Thank u...thats very important!!! * . *

[@iuidit2809]

which kind of laws are these? :D

[@maimai8958]

@@iuidit2809 lol that's from 48 Laws of Power by Robert Green😆

[@grjabalpuriya1039]

Yeh boi

[@youtubesucks2755]

If shit got scarce, I'm pretty sure people won't start valuing it. There are so many scarce valueless things present in the world right now.

[@micallll100]

Two months after the break up. The weekends are the hardest. But, still alive and breathing and know everything will be ok...Its hard to know he is seeing an another...but whatever... The grass is greener where you water it!

[@cheekyy.3923]

How do you feel now? I know it's been a year since your comment

[@micallll100]

@@cheekyy.3923 Not good..i found someone else but it ended too

[@FreeTheJambon]

I agree weekends are the worst. Dreading all that free time where my mind can wonder as it wants since I'm not at work. I know I'm supposed to fill in that hole in my schedule but it's only been 2 weeks and I don't feel social at all yet

[@taniacarrera7406]

@@micallll100 so sorry to hear that. Hope you can heal and find yourself again.

[@demonmonty30]

I've seen you on multiple videos and I wonder how did it turn out for you?

[@itsmealmamer_9142]

Karma is a bitch with the people we gave our very own best but still it wasnt enough! Fighting guys WE DESERVED TO BE LOVED not to be FUCKED UP!

[@bardobruh]

Tomorrow I'll be on three months of no contact. I have gotten curious on my ex and she is happy with her new man, I believe it is a rebound but I'm slowly moving on and trying to seek other people. I don't think I'll take my ex back if she comes back, I am not her second choice. I'll still watch these kinds of videos because I want to continue to learn how to value myself better.

[@fruithat2756]

After 7 years mine did the same thing she was my fiance

[@bardobruh]

@@fruithat2756 I was with my ex for 2.5 years, we're college students and she left me for a guy almost double my age and has kids of his own. I honestly don't see it working out but she's not my problem anymore.

[@fruithat2756]

@@bardobruh mine is 23 and left me for a 35 year old man hahahaha lost my shit for awhile but going to school again in the fall

[@bardobruh]

@@fruithat2756 almost similar to mine, my ex and I are both 20 and the guy she left me for is 33 or 34 who honestly knows. Her friends did not want to support her because of his age and baggage but that drove her towards him.

[@fruithat2756]

@@bardobruh its rough she left me cause this guy has his own place being in med school diesnt pay that well yet

[@Happy-Me.]

No contact is good for the soul. Give them around 3 months then their dopamine levels begin to drop and they miss you if you were good to be around!

[@micallll100]

It only happenes if they loved you and they weren't sure about the break up

[@EJayyDreadHead]

Facts

[@164motor]

@@micallll100 What if they loved me but said they were absolutely sure that breaking up with me was the right thing to do "right now". They weren't sure what would happen in the future, you think that means they weren't actually sure? She was just so adamant about having a gut feeling that it was the right thing to do, even though our relationship was good

[@micallll100]

@@164motor it's hard to say...try to be strong and focous on yourself, not on her

[@ThickCut49]

@@164motor yes because she was certain that’s how she felt at the moment but feelings do change...idk if things with you have updated

[@randomizerteleviewage307]

At first I thought just a week was a stretch. Yet here I am five months later feeling better than I ever did with her.

[@tamiahinton1484]

Randomizer Televiewage I have a goal to reach pass two weeks in order to move on . Been broken up for 3 months and haven’t went two weeks without contacting her.

[@jessepushor9967]

Update?

[@spiderofsorts7611]

Any update on what happened? Xx

[@zabercrombie24]

Ruminating and pining over an ex at the beginning of a break up is the worst feeling ever .

[@spiderofsorts7611]

How are you now dude?

[@sigmas5964]

Anxiety on a high this weekend. Listening to your voice and content has brought me ease and got me out of my own head. Thank you for being here for all of us.

[@adakilicarslan5271]

Concentrating on ourselves will make us love and value ourselves more than the person we've just let go. At the end either they will notice the change in you and they will realize how beautiful you are as a person and try to have you in their life. Or they will forget about you and move on just as you would have already done. Because now you do not value anyone that much but yourself. You will be the winner! You will be the champion of yourself!

[@sylwiaes9975]

Almost a year after breakup and about 8 months of NC I know that I don't want him to come back anymore. I don't miss him anymore.

[@martinjones3552]

I am still stuck with "ex head" after 4 months.... even now I'd take her back. I begged her. can't stop contact.

[@nicolewinters]

martin jones :(

[@tamiahinton1484]

Can’t wait for this feeling 😂

[@lols5851]

Update?

[@DanIOl12]

i love how you pause at the end of every video right before you say “that’s all i have for today”. That silence really helps your advice sink into you and think about what you said, especially what you say right before the pause, it’s always a great point. i love it!

[@nej9015]

As this month, it’s been 6 months since my ex of 6 years dumped me. It’s actually surprising to realize that I am doing better without him, thank you for your advice and insight ❤️

[@juliemanso4589]

Nana Nonsense do you ever get tempted to break NC? Because my ex hasn’t reached out to me in 5 months and I still reach out and he doesn’t acknowledge me, yet he drives by my job to make sure I see him I just don’t get it! I would think that by now I’ll be over it but I’m not ! Why

[@nej9015]

I do, but I have to remind myself that he doesn’t care for me ,which is why he isn’t contacting me. I know it’s hard but try to focus on other things or allow yourself to cry, good luck and take care ❤️❤️

[@juliemanso4589]

Nana Nonsense thank you! You too!

[@userrrreesss7892]

Please keep updating?

[@harrym859]

Trust me, NEVER reach out. Maybe down the line if life naturally brings u guys together that’s diff but right now??? It will either trigger them to come back and if they don’t at least you saved your pride and dignity. If you don’t love and respect yourself, why should your ex?

[@mickeyasommerfeld2026]

Been in no contact since end of September. Not gonna lie, the first month was absolutely horrible for me but I did it. Since then, I’ve gotten myself in the best shape I’ve ever been in working out twice a day. My ex wouldn’t recognize me if she saw me now but it’s not for her it’s for myself. This has been the key for me..I’m putting a lot of love into myself and doing my best to focus on my life goals. I also tell myself everyday that I have value too and how I’m a prize catch as well even if she doesn’t see the value..it doesn’t define me. I’ve pulled my energy completely and have no ill will towards her at all..she needs to be happy. I know she misses me and checks my social media all the time.

[@milkshake7289]

Did she come back?

[@mickeyasommerfeld2026]

@@milkshake7289 she tried many times to retain what we had at one point. I stayed strong and confidently wished her the best and told her to find happiness. I was never rude to her, just indifferent. I found out last year that she passed away..it’s not only sad and tragic but she had so much to live for and to rediscover life.

[@krantidhh]

​@@mickeyasommerfeld2026 That's too sad..

[@chattynatty678]

Legit, no contact works wonders. Maybe not in the ways you'd expect, but FOR SURE to improve your life. I've been in 3 months NC just working on myself, volunteering, going out, and altering my style a bit as well as finding my identity. He hasn't reached out (yet...) but the other day someone came up to me, told me I was pretty, and asked me for my number. The world truly works wonders when you move forward and realise there is a bigger world outside of your ex. Best of luck to you all ❤

[@ezekielroman2701]

Ex is in rebound and these videos give me the confidence not to reach out, I noticed I was undervalued and I can admit to my mistakes and take this whole relationship as a learning experience

[@offline-jg7lp]

Update ?

[@ezekielroman2701]

@@offline-jg7lp a month ago she got engaged to the guy who she rebounded with, but hey life goes on. I'm happy, she's happy. I'm happy for her, I appreciate all the good memories we had and life keeps going. I found someone else and she is turning out to be better then my ex. I thought I would never find someone "better" but I did. I was in a dark place when my ex left but now im so happy with life right now that I wouldn't trade it to be back with my ex.

[@offline-jg7lp]

@@ezekielroman2701 thanks so much for fast answer!! Great to hear it all turns out good. Im soon 4 months no contact. How long did it take to get over her ?

[@ssjrosethanos1996]

How did no contact come for you?

[@brentaong9689]

Funny thing about nc is u eventually realize u don't need your ex anymore! I even cringe to the thought of contacting him..

[@jmarie4875]

"Its really not you it's me, I dont want this right now" So hard to cipher through the bullshit. Its so hard to think it was real or not. :(

[@taniacarrera7406]

Thank you so much! I almost break no contact today and thanks to you and this video I stopped at the right moment. You are a life saver Rory!

[@victorianike4497]

Almost 7 months in NC. Don't think it is easy for everybody, in my case it's like visiting hell everyday but...if I can do it, you can do it. Previous ex returned after being in NC for 5 years! It's not that I think the current one will return but...you never know!

[@juliemanso4589]

Victoria Nike wow omg how have you been able to do it? My ex has been in NC with me for 5 months, I’ve broken it a couple of times and then stopped but now he drives by my job almost everyday and lowers his front window to make sure I see him, but still he doesn’t reach out ! Why why why why does he do that ? I don’t get it ughhhhh why is he doing that yet he doesn’t reach out? I’m so exhausted ! I just want to feel nothing and numbed !

[@uberlolzzz]

You really don't want to feel numb, believe me. You're human so it's healthy to feel emotions. Just allow yourself to feel what you're feeling because suppression is depression. Numbness cane one of the symptoms of depression and it is awful - It's actually worse than the sadness in my opinion. Also it doesn't matter why the fuck he's doing what he's doing, he doesn't matter and has no part in your life at ALL unless he reaches out please understand that. You'll be fine. @@juliemanso4589

[@abiejjjsh7349]

Victoria Nike I had the same thing happen with a previous ex from years prior! I had overwhelmingly strong feelings my ex was going to reach out. I felt this strong intuition and energy coming to me. When it turned out to be the ex from years prior reaching out, instead of my recent ex, I was pretty disappointed but also had to laugh about it just a little. My intuition was correct about an ex about to reach out, just not the one I was thinking/hoping for 😂😂 Anyway I’m in the same boat and I wish you well and to stay strong with personal growth in NC.

[@juliemanso4589]

uberlolzzz thank you you are correct he’s nothing in my life it just triggers me so much what he’s doing that the anxiety is killing me, that is why I say u wish to be numbed! I just want this to end and I’m really getting tired! I need to be strong and get the fuck over it because it’s obvious he wants nothing to do with me! Thank you

[@ulkalina]

It’s been two years and I have changed jobs, moved from one side of London to another (huge change as I’ve been living in west London for 10years) Last night I woke up because of the loud wind outside and started crying uncontrollably at 03:18am It felt like he has just left and all the pain hit me so hard I couldn’t breathe... This is a nightmare

[@fencemenders]

Rory is the best coach on KZbin

[@rmemba405]

Great video as usual Rory. Very inspirational. Thank you. Keep up the great work. All the best to you ☺️

[@Edelweiss1102]

Getting better every day, thanks again for your videos Rory, they've been a huge eye opener and help.

[@chasingfreedom8442]

Same name as my ex 🙁

[@xxx_peachy_shea5123]

That's a great advise Rory..like go effing leave your phone and go out for a jog or a drive. Very simple. Let that craving subside and move forward.

[@tomwaits3780]

Emotional intellect is way more important than IQ. And gladly I am learning a lot of from you, Rory!

[@brandonskyline9526]

Hey man your channel is so awesome this video is helping me a lot I’ve been going back and fourth breaking no contact and I now understand giving in is just hurting me! Thank you so much

[@shained6]

Thank you Rory I totally needed this! ❤️

[@MichyGW]

Thank you for this Rory. Last night I went into I'm not good enough mindset. I was thinking why am I still thinking so frequently about him after almost year. It's not with the same intensity but I mind still goes there.

[@joeb5578]

This is really good, Rory. I'm on week seven of no contact and have been feeling like crap lately. It's good to hear the voice of intelligence and good thoughts. You're of Great Value to me. Thanks. You help more than you can possibly know. :)

[@salmamagdy4646]

same how has it been?

[@Hellokittyy555]

When I need a boost I come and listen to you. Thanks Rory you give me strength

[@TheLoveChat]

You are so welcome!

[@mariichan333]

It’s like you’re watching over me Rory, this video came right on time. I’m on 3 months NC almost 4. I’ve been working on myself during this time: going to the gym, working on my degree, and spending more time with friends and my hobbies. I don’t think I want my ex back at all but I do get some days where I am sad and I don’t understand why when I thought I had been recovering and healing from the break up. This was a very powerful video, many thanks for all your guidance. You have helped me so much through this, I would’ve been lost without you. Can’t wait for your next video.

[@TheLoveChat]

You're the one doing the hard work! Good for you!!

[@mariichan333]

The Love Chat thank you so much Rory 😭💕

[@SorkeXL]

This video is my favorite one yet!!!

[@BASNICO1113]

Thank you so much for this video.Your videos are keeping me in check.

[@cocotheblackcat3209]

Best advice I've heard so far!

[@fatalexcrement4075]

I am Grateful for you rory and the love chat thank you for helping me on my journey ❤

[@chlochlo8207]

I listen to your videos before I think about doing something stupid and your videos help ☺️thank you.

[@tayyabavance5982]

You are awesome Rory♥️

[@DeeBlackett]

this is just what i need. thank you soo much

[@aliacoo]

Bravo! Much needed, thank you!

[@dmoneydance]

I love it thanks! I needed to hear this

[@abiejjjsh7349]

Coming up on 4 months no contact since the break up. I needed this video, thank you Rory. I’ve not been tempted to break NC but I’ve had waves of stress lately because my ex posted his first ever Instagram story of a new girl with heart eye emojis. Crushing blow. Is it normal to feel embarrassment thinking all mutual friends are seeing it and probably feel bad for me so I feel slightly pathetic? I just re watched your emotional roller coaster video too and I’m always grateful for the empowerment you give. I hope to continue in the direction of self love and confidence, it is still a daily struggle for me, but I will not give up and I am determined to master better emotional self control.

[@rainerneumeister5239]

4 months and still no contact. ? All the comments on here say they are still waiting. ??

[@erikaeyasvergara6175]

7 months from NC, well minimal contact because we shared a child together. NC does worked in time. I feel that I became a lot more mature and strong enough to walk a way to a person who is toxic and a narcissist.I still love him but I value myself even more 🙌

[@Ranger-vq1nh]

Great video. It’s over 4 months of continuous NC from day one. Still nothing. It’s been difficult, believe it or not it DOES get easier if this is fresh to you. I’ve applied all suggestions with Rory. We all can do it! Stay strong and focus on yourself improvement.

[@hllj2793]

Once more, you make a video regarding my days "main" thought regarding my situation. Voodoo shit aside - thank you for all that you do for us.

[@stormfalcon72]

I humbly bowed out. Although my last words I said were, “This was the most disappointing relationship of my entire life!” I wish I hadn’t said that, though.... What I was really feeling was the most immense disappointment because it was ending. The time together was actually sublime. I forgive her and wish her the best that life has to offer her. Because of her, I am on this honest and authentic path of healing deep seated traumatic childhood wounds. Wounds that I have buried under so many layers for so, so long. The irony is that at times I wanna break no contact to tell her and let her know but it’s too fresh still. One day, when and if, she is ready and it’s in the best interests of the grand design of the universe.... she may reach out. Maybe I’ll get a chance to gently let her know. I love her dearly, took her off that pedestal and have set her free. I will never forget the feeling of that force that pulled us together, though... Like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my 48 years on this Earth. I thank her for ‘seeing’ me and being honest with me. I wish I had been more securely attached and not allowed my anxiety to destroy what we were building. It will not be in vain as I am using these mistakes that I’ve made to grow and to heal and be a better me.

[@katcuzzi]

I went through 9 months of no contact and my ex reached out on my birthday saying how wonderful I am... so I checked his Instagram and it seems he’s still with his “rebound”. That completely messed with my head, and I feel like I’ve backslid. It’s been a year since the breakup, I’m so tired of feeling this way! I was doing so well, why did he have to text me? He didn’t want a conversation, it was a selfish message.

[@JohnDL212]

Thank you for this. Today was a day of struggles.

[@Biggie743]

2 months of NC and im keeping it together. I still love and miss her dearly but shes with a new guy. I know i have to remain in NC and keep working on myself. If I can stay strong, you can too!

[@sabahali185]

Same situation with me.. for me its been 3 months of nc

[@xxxtentacion198]

keep NC they well most likely break up trust me

[@Biggie743]

@@xxxtentacion198 Funny enough, after 100 days of NC, she reached out to me if i was moving to her city (I am but I didnt know) and wanted to meet me. Just casually answered her after 24hrs and now back in NC. So KEEP IT UP! To put it in perceptive, would you contact your ex if you are dating a new person? Food for thought...

[@xxxtentacion198]

Dark Kyon I mean I really don't know I guess it just depends on how i feel. if I want that person back in my life or not.

[@michellewhite6701]

Dark Kyon I wouldn’t contact my ex if I’m dating another guy.

[@lorderomir]

I’m looking forward to her birthday next week- when I will NOT break no contact and start a great new job the next day. 😁

[@annastormhold1151]

🤣😂😂🤣

[@khalidlrsn]

It’s sounds like a repeat of the Skype session me and you had Monday...scarcity creates value! It’s hard to feel value in yourself when being broken up with. The situation happened in the first place cause somewhere along the line we broke the relationship with ourselves! Stopping to progress in life mentally, physically and professionally! It’s time to do the work and regain our value and happiness in our own eyes. The rest will follow!

[@loriemmanuel636]

Awesome video!!!!

[@leejames8495]

Very good video bro, it helped me a lot......

[@errorABX]

Just when i needed to hear.... it popped up!! 😇🥰

[@cherrybacon3319]

The facts are there in front of me in Black and White. He treated me badly, and because i had self-respect and boundaries i left. Hes made no contact. He doesn't value me enough to make an effort, so why should i. Whwn you take your emotions out of it things are much easier to deal with and don't feel as scary. He'll be in touch one day, but i won't wait, i'll live my life and improve the bits i can. His loss. 🍒

[@stevenpavia3647]

Rory, that was beautiful

[@nairbgolden2008]

In case someone is reading this and anxious, yes it worked after 1 year. No it wasn't worth it

[@lanamarri5654]

You know what no contact is... it’s called your broken up and you may not know why but they are gone and you are wasting a bunch of time on someone who never saw your value ! Who wants a broken person who left your fabulous self? They probably were not for you anyway .... but my situation is this ... when you meet someone out and about in a non descriptive bar and have tremendous chemistry ... this is not an accident ! This is someone put in your path... to me ...it taught me something and I have totally changed and happier for it ... so maybe this was a person to cause me to change so I guess I should thank him! Tonight at a women’s Catholic meeting a woman hugged me and said I was the funniest person she ever met! Made me feel good up know I can make people laugh and spread love and happiness I don’t need him to do this... !!!🙏🤗

[@ds-hi1cd]

Love listning to you❤️

[@mervinsumalacay4417]

Before the end of the videos you said something about doing things if you are ij the verge of losing no contact. On my end if I feel like communicating to my ex I would watch your videos and craig kenneth's just to calm my nerves of breaking NC although I have watched the videos plenty of times but still you've been a great help this past couple of weeks I am on day 6 of NC and I hope I get the results that i am hoping for.

[@animetheproduct5481]

My sponsor recommended this video. I terrified and yet I am surrendering to no contact. I am making this post so that in a month from now I can come back to this and reflect. Thank you.

[@darthvador6359]

Are you feeling better?

[@roxanasorto6727]

I love your advice

[@TheLoveChat]

Thank you, Roxana!

[@Beatlemaniac1983]

Also, emotional neutral sounds a lot like apathy. Anger means I still care for someone - I can't be angry with someone I have no connection with - hate is a connection, love is a connection, sadness is a connection. If I am emotionally neutral towards someone, why would I want him or her in my life at all?

[@TheGeorgesHabibPodcast]

Please coach Rory, could you do one about when its her parents who pushed the breakup (extreme manipulation)

[@pinkmuffin9842]

The funny thing about break ups is, that they never get easier. The 3rd is as hard as the first (and I imagine, the 14th one will still be hard). The emotions are always overwheming but at the 3rd breakup I know that I can get past this. I have been there twice, and I can be there as often as I need to, before I find the one. My ex tries to get back in contact with me, maybe that works out but if we aren't in a relationship in maybe three months again than I'll call it a quit. I'd do it earlier, but we currently can't meet up due to social distancing, that's why I'll give it more time.

[@Medehaneyalem27]

Omg....thank you sooooo very much! I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday😭😭😭 he broke up with me☹️☹️☹️ he was very extremely harsh to me😭 he broke up with me for no reason😭 he said he doesn't love me anymore😭 I bagged him , cried nothing worked☹️ but now I'm getting strong cuz I'm watching your videos thank you you're helping me like crazy you have no idea. Thank you thank you so much❤

[@julieeberhart843]

It's been 6 weeks of no contact and today he did the indirect direct approach. But I'm not sure I want him back? No contact works!! but not in the way you think! Grow and focus on yourself. I did...and now he's on his way over and I'm not sure I want him back?!

[@Don-pk2uy]

Update

[@brianhill6842]

My situation was long distance. After 8 months all I did was ask for a little clarity and I got lectured about needing to “label” it. I didn’t need a label. Just figured that since we were traveling and there was distance (wasn’t going to be that way for more than a few months), I should just inquire to when should we plan the next visit. The lecture/response made me feel so much doubt that when I got back home it started to take a toll. When I asked for respect of communication (his whole thing was respect, trust and communication) he said I was living in the past of the relationship. We texted back and forth and had a disagreement. He later called me up yelling at me and hung up. My point...it was the worst way for him to end something. It left me so entirely confused that asking for respect was somehow a horrible thing. And what did I do? I reached out over and over. I didn’t know about No Contact at that time. I thought I owed him an apology. He didn’t care. Cut me out cold. And when I kept trying to reach out...he had his closest friends or coworkers (whom I had met) contact me to lecture me that he’s never going to speak to me. So...trust in No Contact. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Focus on people who are there for you and keeping your own life together. It is extremely difficult when people do things like this guy did to me. It shatters your trust or maybe it just shatters the illusion. Who knows. But listen to Rory. Go to the gym, work on you. I’m Month 4 and wish I had all this knowledge as soon as it happened. Don’t reach out. Don’t.

[@ssjrosethanos1996]

This one is a long one It's going on two weeks no contact and this period is always my breaking point 2 weeks to a month. I reach out, in the most broken version of myself, pretty much beg and plead. Then they take me back and I realize I'm not the problem. Or maybe I am because then I become unhappy in the relationship it ends up going south at some point and we break up. Rinse, wash, repeat every relationship I've ever had. This current girl cheated Stole rent money from me on multiple occasions And even almost had my kids taken away from me. I know I shouldn't want her. I should leave her alone for my own sake, but I never know how. I just want to be happy and have someone who will go as hard for me as I would them.

[@JK-ni7gp]

You did good job

[@rensoalink451]

Yesterday evening after 6 weeks she changed her pf pic on Facebook.. beautifull gala dress at a party, so pissed cause she had to find herself and i dont think doing these thing will do that. Wanted to reach out in anger, then i heard a voice that said "think about what rory says, dont break no contact" so i went to sleep and i am so proud of myself right now. Huge thanks rory!!! Deleted fb cause i was only using it to look at her, will from time to time post the happy picture like i was doing already. Again huge thanks

[@ryanbtc]

how about you now?

[@Walteramirez]

First! Yaaaaaaas kween!

[@genuinepessimist5185]

I've really been doubting it recently. It's just so hard not to talk to him

[@rainerneumeister5239]

All the comments here say they are still waiting ?? But no success. ??

[@sofiahussein3751]

Me too. It’s only been a week of NC and I feel it’ll drive him further away. I can’t stop myself from going onto WhatsApp and texting him. Urghhhh what should I do

[@Suryavishaal]

@@sofiahussein3751 NC is not about getting your ex, it's about getting yourself. Don't ever break it. They will start valuing you soon or later. Btw I'm also on nc from 10 days. And I've already started recovering ❤️

[@coreybart2783]

@@sofiahussein3751 how did it go

[@sofiahussein3751]

@@coreybart2783 he came back ! 😃

[@domreo]

18days of 3rd nc. Just done booty excerise and thigh aching but few days been crying but the hurt will push me to improve myself. I can get through this period and be improved version of myself

[@MyWendywoo]

Go girl. X

[@cherrybacon5154]

I said to my Ex a week ago that I wanted to sort this out and if he changed his mind he knew where I was. Since then he has texted me once or twice every day, but something in me is stopping me from reading them. I'm thinking about all the tactics he'll use to suck me back in. I'm thinking about how easy it is for him to text, rather than get up off his arse and come to my house. I'm thinking about what I want, action not words. I've ignored his messages and have concentrated on myself. As far as he's concerned I've lost my phone and if he never comes begging, I don't think I'll be bothered. 🍒

[@stormfalcon72]

Going no contact, indefinitely, from the day of being broken up with, by someone you’re head over heels in love with, will be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do in your life... My opinion. Possibly overshadowed by the death of a child or sibling. The death of my own father hasn’t even come close to this level of pain... Sorry Dad but it’s true.

[@mariacasuso1748]

What about a video about finding your ex on Tinder? He dumped me and after 2 months of no contact I found him there. He lives 2 hours away from my city and suddenly his profile appeared...It felt like a slap on my face

[@shammikamath]

Excellent 👌

[@rehammua]

I just had the worst conversation with a guy I’ve been talking to for the past 3 months. I told him that his been in and out of my life and this is not working for me and i don’t have time for games. His like oh when did I ever give you the impression I wanna be in a relationship. He denied all the nights his been texting me calling me like it never happened. Like it was never there. He even said what are you asking about I was shocked. He said listen am more than happy to be friends I think your a great person. I said ( no I can’t be your friend ) not a single word from me after this. I unfollowed him and deleted his number so I will never ever reach out to this person again !

[@malcolmhamilton8706]

u better not

[@rehammua]

@@malcolmhamilton8706 hell noo

[@malcolmhamilton8706]

@@rehammua thats right

[@bane4490]

I went into no contact off and on for about 6 weeks. I had to move out of our shared apartment so we had to talk about mail and possessions occasionally. I cried during the break up and tried to patch things up. A little over a week ago I met someone new at work. She was a new transfer, and at the time I was sad about my break up, but we started becoming friends and things hit off. We have gone on three dates and just recently we had sex. It was really passionate and we have amazing chemistry. Now I’m worried my ex will contact me because I think I met someone who has made me really happy. When I think of my ex all I can think of is being sad. I’m on the polar opposite of a lot of people here. I’m worried my ex will come back and I don’t think I want them. I hope that door remains closed.

[@Don-pk2uy]

Update

[@luckystrike9332]

This is difficult... i've always been focusing on myself, striving to be a better human each and every day. I go on my walks, work on my car, ride my motorcycle, go to the beach, anything really to keep myself occupied. I try to keep an open mind to learn new things in general or about people as well so it can better me, therefore it can better someone else. When life kicks you into the ground all the time, and you stand back up, even if you're winded. Whenever i see someone having it rough, I offer them my shoulder because i know how it feels to be at the bottom of the barrel. My uncle had a stroke last year and now i'm scarred from it because if I wasn't there for him, he probably wouldn't be around anymore, or maybe he would, I don't know, it's why i keep my phone with me at all times. Just in case you never know what's going to happen. Why is that I get a girlfriend and I do my absolute god damn best to give her space, to give her my love, to learn a new culture, to try and learn a new language, to put my damn foot into the door even if i've been screwed over by so many people in the past, mold myself for her needs, and then she leaves? I need to focus on myself? I've been doing that for the past decade, what the hell am I supposed to be doing when i've been doing exactly that? When life is a bit dull and she comes in and makes life so damn enjoyable again. This is not aimed towards you, nor anyone at all, i'm just extremely blindsided and frustrated by her actions. Why do people do this? If she said I was damn near perfect, why would she just quit the relationship like that? Damn, this is why I don't do relationships anymore, It's horseshit. I've been watching videos and learning this relationship stuff and I see where i did wrong, but damn - tired of feeling like this, i'm just trying to be a decent human being. Not trying to hurt anyone, but damn i'm not trying to get hurt anymore as well.

[@wg4840]

I love your videos , I broke up with my partner about a week ago ( he got an internship in another city for 6 months , I thought we could make it work but he decided it’s best to break up cause he does not see me in his future. I know he loves me but he told me “walking away from someone you love it’s the hardest thing”!, could you make a video about people walking away from someone they love and how to deal form my side.... I want to break no contact and this video stopped me for now . Thank you

[@plank432hz]

I really want to get her back, we met the day before yesterday and i tried to make a couple playful advances on her and got rejected while the whole time she was giving me signs that there was sexual tension and telling me things like that imply that she’s still turned on by me and all that. We texted a couple times and she unblocked me on snapchat and now i havent heard from her at all, its been about 2 days. Tbh it hurts feeling the hot and cold treatment but im for real about to just let go and just let it be. She obviously has feelings for me and im confident she’ll reach out but for now im just going to leave it alone

[@godiloveu2]

Hi Rory , I appreciate your strength you did it for your own . Could you please make a video . I want to move on completely. I did this last three times he comes and goes and broke every time,I build my own world. He do not deserve me this time no more going back I have decided. I can do it . But we work together so each day I unfortunately see him. Could you please make a video on “how to move on completely even if you see them everyday “ my humble request. If he comes back I will cut him out - just like you did buddy . We all deserve the best and we are complete. I am going through emotional torture right now as he dumped me that he’ll marry me now walked away saying his parents rejected me . No more bull shit . He changed in one minute. I am following in no contact from 20 th dec 19 as of now . He owe me apology but I don’t care if he does , i M pissed that every time I am strong he across my path in office. I am more screwed recently I came to know he is going around may be with someone and I hv been cheated on . So my all the strength shattered. I am now sorry for myself that he made me fool but I don’t want to resign my job I need it , it’s my life my job . Please guide me something I may be not able to understand logically. May be my thoughts are hindered . So tell me something you did when you moved on . ☺️ Hope you read - if you make video on my request . I would be the happiest gal . Regards and peace Monika

[@bonfacemacharia8712]

5 months after BU she left me for someone else I don't want her back she already lost my trust

[@OLuvin]

Could you make a video where you answer that very question you mentioned in this video, "Why now? Why did it take this break-up for you to change?" Not for false hope but I guess I'm curious how I would even be able to respond to that question. That question stumped me. How would the dumpee be able to convince the dumper that they are genuinely making a change and self-improvement and have reflected on their past.

[@annakam4643]

I am going to post a meme about how God puts you through a storm in order to force change upon you at like 65 day mark and hopefully he will see it. I’m on day 43 complete radio silence. Is this a good idea?

[@unafrade]

What if she’s been clear she doesn’t want you as a romantic partner anymore but then weeks after she messages you about her cat that has died ? It was a cat I loved and with whom I shared most of its life with. Which is why she felt the need to tell Me. How do you respond? Do you say sorry but it’s not my role to confort you anymore or do you be kind and comfort her ? She was very very close to her cat so she is devastated.

[@godiloveu2]

Hi Rory , I appreciate your strength you did it for your own . Could you please make a video . I want to move on completely. I did this last three times he comes and goes and broke every time,I build my own world. He do not deserve me this time no more going back I have decided. I can do it . But we work together so each day I unfortunately see him. Could you please make a video on “how to move on completely even if you see them everyday “ my humble request. If he comes back I will cut him out - just like you did buddy . We all deserve the best and we are complete. I am going through emotional torture right now as he dumped me that he’ll marry me now walked away saying his parents rejected me . No more bull shit . He changed in one minute. I am following in no contact from 20 th dec 19 as of now . He owe me apology but I don’t care if he does , i M pissed that every time I am strong he across my path in office. I am more screwed recently I came to know he is going around may be with someone and I hv been cheated on . So my all the strength shattered. I am now sorry for myself that he made me fool but I don’t want to resign my job I need it , it’s my life my job . Please guide me something I may be not able to understand logically. May be my thoughts are hindered . So tell me something you did when you moved on . ☺️ Hope you read - if you make video on my request . I would be the happiest gal . Regards and peace Monika

[@dimicaimano5734]

no contact means no contact . she left me and she has 2 rebounds . turn away and dont look back ….

[@yongyilei4104]

Love your channel. It is soo soothing to listen to right before I fall asleep. I have a question regarding my situation. My ex and I have been on and off for the past 4 to almost 5 years. Recently, we broke up "for good" but he reached out after a month. He asked to meet up and we did where one thing lead to another and things happened. After the situation, I reached out, discussing what went down. He is telling me that he is trying to keep his distant but it is hard because he is still attached to me emotionally and physically. He is viewing my social media and reaching out through text and calls on and off. He told me that he is sticking to plan on not being with me for the near future. I dont know what to do because he is telling me one thing but action is speaking otherwise. Any advice for the hot and cold situations?

[@TheLoveChat]

Actions speak louder than words every time. I would pull back and focus on you - let him come to YOU! Be less interested at all times!

[@yongyilei4104]

@@TheLoveChat It means a lot that you replied back! Thank you for your advice and I will definitely use it. Can't wait for your next video. Much love.

[@Solitary_Shinobi]

No contact is really working ! My ex broke up with me more than 1 month ago and is in a rebound relationship. I begged for her for a month she always rejected me , she even asked to my sister to tell me to stop contact her ! So I give her the chance to miss me I did a no contact and only one week and a half she contacted me to talk about the bad behavior I had with her. But I know that she wanted just to talk to me, I controled my feeling and don’t seem needy anymore. We talked 2 days and she didn’t reply to my last message (it was an emoji) but I will not send another text, it’s her turn to come back if she really want to talk to me. she said that everything is good in her life but if she was happy in her new relationship why is she taking the time to come back to talk to me again ?

[@filozica867]

I am just so tired of being sad. And I feel angry. Because my brain sais if she comes back... I want to say no But. My heart is saying something diffrend... And I just want to get over her. Because everyday that goes by. I just get more and more frustrated that she is not texting.. She left me, and now I feel like this!? My brain wants to scream

[@gaoang3391]

Same feeling

[@filozica867]

@@gaoang3391 I feel you. It's 3 months later now.. Total of 5 and a half months since the breakup. I've let her go, and I'm trying to move on. And start thinking positive thoughts. It is the hardest thing to do. Going through a breakup.. It's a uniq experience, and it's diffrend for everyone. I hope you have your head high, and think positive, try. I'm getting over her, and I'm trying to see other ppl now

[@gaoang3391]

@@filozica867 it’s hard to see the others now since the covid nothing as chill as before ,2 and half months break up 26 days NC , still got panic after woke up and wake up everyday in the middle night .. slightly break NC by liked his steps recording by mistake but never spoke with him anymore , he is still keep us picture as profile on wechat .. I just think I don’t wait for his message anymore just it’s hard to remove them from your head .. going to another province to hike a snow mountain tomorrow and meet some new people , walking out from hell .. I hope next month I will have a positive updates about I’m moving on better Thank you for write me back and moving on NC team

[@filozica867]

@@gaoang3391 I hope everything works out for you! My experience tells me, that only time can heal the wounds, there is no recipe, no cure. Only time helps, and your mind. Stay positive. Think about what he did wrong. And not what he did write. Think about the future. There is still someone out there waiting for you. And waiting for me. There is no doubt in my mind. Hang in there! Remember you are uniqe

[@richardnaylor3300]

Hi Rory, love your channel and advice! My Hot and cold girlfriend has sent me the “I need time to myself a text” after I was a little needy so I have gone into no contact. I did not reply to the text I would just like to make sure that I did the right thing at starting no contact by not replying at all?

[@iuidit2809]

you can always text sth like „ok“ just to acknowledge her. if you want to answer at least sth, and of course to show you acknowledge and accepting their decision.

[@kaitokaito19]

I know you already did a video on working with an ex but can you do one where you are the one in superior position and have to manage an incompetent ex at work without it being personal? Not sure if this makes sense....

[@devgrublacksquadron2089]

Hey Rory, can u do a video about texting n calling in long distance relationship coz I heard that phone relationship always lower attractions.

[@sciencedatingdude569]

THJ NORWEGIAN VIkING VIkING - Too much texting and falling lowers attraction. Keep the calls short and keep the text short. Don’t text them back fast either.

[@bluevenom8880]

I honestly think our exes don't want to hear from us after a breakup because it makes them feel guilty and reminds them they treated us like crap. they rather bury their heads in the sand and forget. when someone uses you they don't want to be reminded they're a pos cus it hurts the ego

[@gassyroyalnova2582]

1 month and a half no contact, still nothing from her. I've been focussing more on myself and not really caring what she thinks especially since she already went for another guys 3 days after the breakup

[@ryanbtc]

how about you now

[@marlenamcghee6030]

I hope no contact work I will admit I was acting needy in the beginning of the break up that happen 11/23/21 my ex sent me a short message a week ago I didn't respond I'm almost 2 weeks of no contact I had to restart this time I'm keeping up until he sends me a message worth responding to more importantly I'm working on myself

[@jazmir8138]

update

[@umpalumpa-qw8ru]

Well my ex had a fun evening with a friend yesterday. How do I know? She did a whatsapp status, an instagram story (both things she never did in 1.5 years), posted it on instagram and had her friend tag her on facebook. All with the same picture. I know, I should not mindread. But I got the feeling, she wanted me to see that. At least a part of her. But somehow it didn't really bother me. It's nc since 5 weeks and it gets easier, I don't wanna contact her at the moment. Two weeks ago, I would run instantly to end of the world to see her. Today I'm like 'Well, I'm free in a couple of days. Let's meet halfway'

[@bane4490]

Haha yeah exactly. The more time goes on you really stop thinking about your ex. Then when the thought creeps in of meeting up with them it’s like thinking about doing laundry. You might do it if you feel up to it, but it will probably be a boring chore you can put off

[@GordonPavilion]

Emotional Neutrality…THIS!!!

[@lucasavelar930]

I'm watching your videos for a while (1 and a half week of No Contact), but every time I enter the comments I see comments from people who have been there for months, with no results. I miss reading comments about people who have succeeded.

[@TheLoveChat]

There have been tons of positive comments across my over 100 videos AND livestreams - be careful of the confirmation bias!

[@Beatlemaniac1983]

Rory, I have an issue that sort of bugs me throughout your, and other coaches', videos - the matter of value. I agree that it's basic psychology and so on, but shouldn't we strive to be with someone who's emotionally mature enough to place value in us because we are dear to him, not because we are scarce? Or in other words, we are Scarce because we are dear to him or her, because the unique combination of atoms and genes and personality and circumstances that is us *is* rare, is unique, there will be no such other through all time and space. So yeah, we should work on ourselves and get as hot as we can, and our life should be filled with awesome stuff other than our partner, but if our partner wants us just because we don't give her our time of day, that feels like the wrong way to go about it, in my opinion.