Top 10 Worst Vanilla Creatures in Magic

[@DoubleZDogg]

3:25 Ancient Carp earned the nickname ... Ancient Carp

[@benikujaku4567]

Often abridged to "Ancient Carp"‚ for short

[@josephinelilith3224]

Love a channel that only does one take.

[@mahtimonni97]

Hmm, yes, the floor here is made of carp!

[@Y0G0FU]

@@josephinelilith3224 most of the spelling or naming errors are done intentionally to get more engagement :P And it works everytime hehe

[@Darthemed]

Well, only on the times when people don’t unsubscribe or block the channel for what they take as demonstrable incompetence at the basic task of reading, in a video about a game predicated on interpreting text.

[@Suika_Ibuki_The_Drunk_Oni]

Now do the opposite! Best vanilla creatures!

[@tumage8592]

Obviosly n one is Grizzly Bear

[@mangckyatmamon]

Gigantosaurus?

[@ajh22895]

Yargle and Multani. 18/6 for 3BBG

[@granitesundae]

@@jjjj8644Not vanilla.

[@tumage8592]

@@jjjj8644 thats not a Vanilla, they have trample

[@CErra310]

Can we talk about Wandering Ones' flavor text though? It's three sentences long and one of the most heartbreakingly somber stories I've ever read.

[@RyanEdwardsVA]

I was just thinking the same. I remember that card to this day from the first time I saw it as a child, just because of that flavor text.

[@thomasbuchovecky171]

I think Vizzerdrix deserves an honorable mention for Wizards having the audacity to make it a rare

[@vonmatrices]

Agreed. Big miss on this list

[@kaluszwig5854]

I used to run a Vizzerdrix deck about 10 years ago. Whenever I would beat people with it I would have them sign a copy of the card (if they wanted to).

[@andygoody2599]

Bro we hated it backin 7th and 8th. Freaking awful

[@andygoody2599]

​@@kaluszwig5854big miss on not forcing them to sign shame

[@nickhughes8179]

Tied with Trained Orgg

[@dovesr0478]

Thinking that multicolor and legendary were upsides back in the day just explains so much

[@Ineedanaccountnow0]

It's so bizarre. I don't know what wizards was thinking

[@MageSkeleton]

It's almost like they were printing cards for the commander format without knowing what the commander format was.

[@TheLoFiLady]

I do think it’s worth noting that the reason Venser’s Sliver is so bad is because of the fact that it’s a massive flavor win. The chaff slivers are grouped into 3 categories, generally, with 1/1s, 2/2s, and 3/3s. The 3/3s are all around 5 mana, but since it’s an artificial Sliver, it doesn’t give any of the powerful buffs that the Tier 3 Slivers normally do. - Sincerely, A Sliver Lover

[@headhunterhades3816]

An interesting fact (and a show of power creep I suppose) is that it’s actually been a long time since a new vanilla creature has actually been printed in a set

[@CircusQueen8]

It's been 9 months

[@ninjasuperman9538]

@@CircusQueen8so like 45 sets

[@markfreenick]

Some vanilla is good in standard. Like dino 10/10 fore ggggg

[@fernandobanda5734]

The better statement would be to say Yargle and Multani is the only vanilla in Standard. It's been only a year since that one card, but more than three years since the last one before that.

[@fernandobanda5734]

Also, not printing vanillas has absolutely nothing to do with power creep.

[@yoman8027]

5:14 Wait... a female warrior with high defensive stats but, despite having a sword, deals no damage, meaning she misses every swing... that's Darkness, from KonoSuba!

[@Agis5512]

There was a guy at my LGS who collected Ancient Carp. He had a binder full of them that had the first two pages filled with foils of them. I gave him three from my prerelease extras and he was giddy with excitement.

[@erikstormcrow5080]

I was expecting Scornful Egotist to be number one, then I remembered it has morph. Also, I remember the sad flavor text of Wandering Ones from 20 years ago...

[@ajh22895]

Before Endless One, this was known as the bear test. Grizzly Bears being a 2/2 for 2

[@viethung9419]

Wandering Ones really has a heart- broken flavor. 😢

[@baby-facedbunting2750]

Wandering Ones may not be the best card, but it does have ond of the saddest flavor texts in the game.

[@phyrexian_dude4645]

Vizzerdrix and Trained Orc should be on the place of Scaled Wurm just on the basis that they are Vanilla and had the BALLS to be RARE.

[@isambo400]

Wow, you really don’t know Magic history. Wandering Ones was the namesake card of the infamous “Wandering Winter” of 2016. It was emergency banned from KBPTL because the mere sight of an island in your SIOPI deck was getting causing fights at tournaments. When combined with Fold into Aether, the card was unstoppable. The bad taste left by this card fractured the magic community and lead directly to the demise of the Tiny Leaders format.

[@gawbe]

My take is that not all cards are designed to be good/playable. Draft often lets you with crumbs of the worst cards at end of cycles. Depending how you draft, You might end up with the crumbs. Its part of the game.

[@lolbajset]

Why should that be a part of the game

[@Wezla]

​@@lolbajsetit makes card evaluation one of the skills required for success in draft. It's already a requirement for constructed, but it's crucial in draft. Not every card can be obviously great, and it's a game skill to recognize contextually good and bad cards

[@Gravijahz]

I think having a comparison that is specifically towards cards from its time and earlier for each example would be good, as it would tell us how it stacked up at release. Then you would have the historical viewpoint and the modern one.

[@RyanEdwardsVA]

Yeah, the literal 15 year gap between Wandering Ones and Rustwing Falcon from the video is not a fair comparison. Not that Wandering Ones was ever good even in its time, but still...

[@lapisrabbitcomics]

I wouldn't have included the 0/3 for one. It had no power because in limited format there was a lot of cards with exalted. So really you could be swinging a 2/5, 3/6, 4/7 etc. with the synergies from that set. I would have chosen any 3 mana 2/2. Specifically Goblin Hero, which was a RARE.

[@thomasbuchovecky171]

It's also a soldier which is a relatively easy creature type to power up

[@fernandobanda5734]

This is so backwards. You don't want a 2/2 for 3 because it's inefficient, but a 0/3 that needs MULTIPLE exalted triggers to maybe swing for some damage is fine? A 2/2 for 3 will win like 100x more games than a 0/3.

[@dark_rit]

Goblin hero at rare was a misprint IIRC, like I know red creatures were really bad in the 90's and stuff like jackal pup was an allstar in red but they wouldn't give a 2/2 for 2R rare status.

[@PrattleFuzz]

@@fernandobanda5734 then take a look at the standard of the time, valiant guard could be a 3/3 for one thanks to doran the siege tower, I'd say that was a point more in it's favour

[@zyanmurphy7478]

Goblin Hero was misprinted as a rare in a later set, but it has always been a common.

[@jjjj8644]

4:05 but isn't comparing vanilla creatures with nonvanilla creatures a little bit unfair?

[@khaas9]

The main reason Endless One actually rocks is Eldrazi being a solid and supported tribe, colorless meaning you don't have to be picky with mana, The surprising amount of ramp colorless has access to, +1/1+ counter synergy, and most important probably being a decent output for infinite mana. It's no Walking Ballistia (in that it doesn't basically auto win the game), but it holds its own pretty well.

[@KnTenshi2]

A while back, I actually did a linear regression on all Vanilla cards at the time. Though unlike here, I broke the cost down into each color rather than converted mana cost. From that, it seems like Wotc designs them with the view that colorless adds about 1.5 stats per mana and each color adding about 2 per mana. With Black and Green being the outliers, Black is much closer to colorless and Green is about 2.7 (thus it's "efficient" creatures). At least for Commons. There are far less Uncommons, much less Rares, thus the data for them is skewed towards noise. And, yes, even #1, Kasimir, is still underpowered even if he were a Common. He should have about 10 total stats, thus should be something like a 5/5 or a 6/4. (or much better, being legendary and all)

[@SpyrosKoronis]

Poor Kasimir. Both the name and flavor text caught my attention years ago while idly browsing Gatherer. Kind of a shame that such a flavorful creature was both vanilla and overcosted.

[@nickhughes8179]

Nowadays he’d have Exalted or something. I could see this 5/5 for 2WUG Ward 2, Vigilance Can’t be blocked by creatures with power 3 or less. Noncreature nontoken permanents you control have Exalted.

[@jonothanthrace1530]

RKF art always adds at least 1 to any card's mana value ;)

[@hastat7322]

Scaled Wurm was THE Timmy card of choice in my schoolyard lol.

[@MageSkeleton]

i find it strange that having generic mana be most of it's cost someone was like "this can totally be cast for just the one green" meanwhile the dinosaur, having three green pips on it, was enough to warrant being a higher number at same total mana. Meanwhile black is just reanimating stuff...

[@kennydarmawan13]

Regarding how bad Valiant Guard is, we got Aegis Turtle. A one blue mana 0/5. To show how bad Venser's Sliver is, Universal Automaton is only a 1 mana 1/1 and can gain benefit from all typal support. Plus artifact support. So, if you want a Sliver bullet to that, Universal Automaton already serves its purpose. Speaking of vanillas, Isamaru, Hound of Konda is an example of a good legendary vanilla. Costing only one mana fot a 2/2 is already above rate. But even better is that Isamaru is a Bogles card. With stats being above rate, enchanting and equipping the dog is worth anyone's time, second only to the Slippery Bogle itself.

[@איתןשי]

Having Hexproof makes it not vanilla... A good vanilla would be that 5 mana 10-10 card

[@kennydarmawan13]

@@איתןשי I know. Isamaru is a bogles is a sense that you use its above rate stats as the advantage. And yeah. That is a legend.

[@benikujaku4567]

Do you mean a "Sliver" bullet?

[@kennydarmawan13]

@@benikujaku4567 nice pun there.

[@dark_rit]

Venser's sliver was probably just them doing a callback to metallic sliver, which was at least a 1 mana 1/1 sliver and is now functionally vanilla because at the time of it's printing in tempest you just had artifact creature with no subtype like gnome or what have you.

[@imaginarymatter]

These cards are so unBearable would try even Professor Ruxa's patience.

[@mooninites755]

Wandering Ones flavor text is so beautiful tho :(

[@g.sergiusfidenas6650]

Older sets (and I say this since I left the game years ago and have not kept up in touch with it) really had a way to get you into the lore of the setting with just a few lines of flavor text printed in cards that would never see any play, those sort of details were magical, one of my favorite ones was from a Coldsnap card called Krovikan Scoundrel, a few lines of text and the image of the card and can feel the vibe of the set.

[@kaalesrex2933]

How DARE you badmouth my boy Scaled Wurm .. that was one of my first cards .. and back during ice age it did some work at least in the schoolyard ^^ .. man that brings back memories .. I used to buy common magic cards for 0.10Chf and sell them for up to 1.0CHF as bookmarks Adarkar Unicorn sold like hotcakes to the girls at my school ^^ and I was able to buy chronicles packs XD those were the times

[@dark_rit]

Yeah it doesn't make sense either like how is it worse than raging poltergeist, something you wouldn't play even in limited because it trades with any creature assuming all your creatures have at least 1 power.

[@kaalesrex2933]

@@dark_rit there are so many bad creatures from back during alpha/beta etc.. the list is kind of a joke ^^ still fun to watch .. I just had to give my 2 cents because Scaled Wurm was one of the first cards I bought .. I don't know why, but the Ice Age artwork just spoke to me ^^

[@BCWasbrough]

Something else about Scaled Wurm. It was part of Wizards' promotional push for Ice Age. It was included in many hobby magazines to generate hype for Magic's first Stand-Alone expansion. In other words, it was so bad Wizards was giving it away for free. :P

[@OGNoNameNobody]

I now have a perfect object to point at whenever anyone asks "What does 'punching down' mean?" Thanks

[@JPMitchell31721]

Why does Kasimir's flavor text say he took up the sword when he's holding an axe in the picture?

[@jamessnedeker4799]

My high school brain went nuts when I first saw Scales Wurm in an Ice Age pack. Its Craw Wurm but BIGGER. Don't think I ever got it out in a game and green was one of my dominant play colors back then.

[@nickhughes8179]

I realized it was bad when it was met with Boomerang Then it was met with Nekrataal and I knew it was awful.

[@Bezaliel13]

Makes sense the ones that need color would be stronger though.

[@jasonemmons4353]

I feel like fusion elemental was missing. It’s WUBRG for a vanilla creature!

[@nickhughes8179]

It’s an 8/8 so it’s at least big.

[@jerryhook5906]

I'd like to see a video for the Top 10 Sliver cards and Top 10 Myr cards, please.

[@ildathet]

i think you overlooked typing and fringe play quite a bit in a doran deck , a one mana zero/three is more valuable than a one one, and soldier is often a very valuable type.

[@michaellee4276]

Squire should have gotten "Bands". It would make banding good enough to use, and would itself be good enough. Banding with 1/2 was massively more useful than 1/1. You could use banding without killing the bander. (Assign 1 damage to the 1/2). But Banders were almost always 1/1 which means they die when assign damage to them, away from their partner, which was the whole point of Bands.

[@universalperson]

Venser's Sliver is even worse if you remember Mettalic Sliver existed. 1 mana 1/1, but still benefits from all Sliver abilities and is colorless.

[@tonyleier]

Being legendary is an upside, as there are legendary synergy cards. Also, legend ruling something is a free sac outlet, its quite helpful!

[@Dinamosaur]

I'm really surprised Dross Crocodile (4 mana 5/1) wasn't here. I'd definitely play some of the cheaper cards on this list before that guy.

[@MageSkeleton]

Would had loved a shoutout for; Ruxa, Patient Professor, Jasmine Boreal of the Seven, and/or Zilortha, Strength Incarnate.

[@TheWolverineDoll]

Wicker Witch isn't even a Warlock, which could have been relevant later by making her an outlaw

[@kamikazebanzai1005]

12:00 but isnt gigantosourus bigger?

[@Bigd2k]

Out if curiosity. How do you narrow this list down to 10? Aren’t most vanilla cards very similar.

[@dark_rit]

Could do a top 10 best vanilla creatures, there are some interesting ones there at least. There are quite a few bad vanilla creatures particularly in the context of 2024.

[@dark_rit]

Scaled wurm is at least good as a threat, but a 1 mana 1/1 doesn't do anything. I'd be hardpressed to call it worse than raging poltergeist since poltergeist trades with 1 mana creatures, the wurm doesn't unless deathtouch. Scaled wurm was originally printed in ice age too so it did pretty well back then since almost nothing was that big in terms of stats. Venser's sliver wasn't meant to be boarded in against slivers, it was just a card meant for limited at most. WotC knew no one would seriously play the card in constructed when they designed it, it was just a little neat thing.

[@BCWasbrough]

"Scaled wurm was originally printed in ice age too so it did pretty well back then since almost nothing was that big in terms of stats." You and I remember a very different 1996. Mono-Black aggro decks were so popular and effective then that most tournament players referred to that era as Magic's "Black Summer". Good luck casting an eight-drop when your opponent has destroyed your hand, refilled theirs, and played multiple first striking bears all by turn five.

[@jonothanthrace1530]

Wandering Ones: Mid stats, good art, halfassed flavor text.

[@7Alberto7]

Vanilla creature have alwais a big upside and beauty to them! The long flavour text! Amazing!🎉

[@CircusQueen8]

Surprised Armored Whirl Turtle didnt make the list, being a 0/5 for 3 mana.

[@Arella-Frost]

Legends was poorly tested. It was designed by a group that never before or since designed a set, and the main group at the time (Skaff et al) had little time with it, so they fixed what they considered to be serious problems. Overcosted cards were not on that list.

[@byronsmothers8064]

The difference between 3 toughness and 4 is bolt.

[@kasadeya3754]

I really really feel like they never consider when these cards came out: and how much stats have changed over the years. Comparing a 2019 card is just not fair to any card made 2009 or before.

[@ClexYoshi]

that's an interesting way of explaining the vanilla test.

[@nickhughes8179]

Valiant Guard can still block Gray Ogre and it’s family in Pearled Unicorn, Headless Horseman, Raging Bull, Scathe Zombies, and Goblin Hero, which are all awful vanilla 2/2s for 3 mana as well. Guard is better than those cards.

[@nickhughes8179]

Barktooth Warbeard is extremely bad A 6/5 for 4BRG Razorfield Thresher is a 6/4 artifact creature for 7. Say hello to a 1-2 mana removal spell. Lady Orca costs 5BR for a 7/4. Flame tongue Kavu wrecks this clunker all day long. Ironroot Treefolk. A 3/5 for 4G. Easily outclassed by most other green creatures of its era. Underpowered. Vanilla 5/2 creatures for 4 mana. Shock and Disfigure are 10 cent common removal that eat these creatures for lunch. That 4/1 for 2R from Fate Reforged. Wandering Ones on this list blocks and kills it.

[@princequincy5421]

I was about to comment "where's the 3 mana 8/0" and then i remembered it has trample

[@moedark4390]

by wotc owns words, they purposely printed bad cards so players would have to have some game knowledge to make good choices, especially in the earlier days of magic before netdecking.

[@melvinshine9841]

Do vanillas in Magic even have good support that tries to make them playable, or are vanillas overshadowed by everything that makes tokens? Normal monsters in Yugioh have some busted support that tries to make them worth it. 99% of the time normal monsters are still something you never want to use, but the attempt at help is still there.

[@hiygamer]

They've printed a few cards that are intended to buff vanilla creatures, but they usually run into the awkward situation of being creatures with abilities, meaning that they are unfortunately nonbos with each other

[@Saltlich]

There is some support, but they are almost always overshadowed by things with actual abilities

[@fernandobanda5734]

Vanillas are not meant to be good cards in Magic (except for just a couple). They're meant to be teaching tools, simple cards that set the bar for what you can expect. They purposefully make very few vanillas that are even bigger than normal creatures with abilities, because playing with vanillas is inherently more boring.

[@connoringram4948]

Yes and no. Unlike yugioh magic has multiple formats, so vanillas arent meant for competitive play but rather drafting. And in that format they are perfectly acceptable too even good dependin on the era. For example 5 mana 4 3 cards suck, but say your drafting and are only goin for cheap red cards but in pack 2 ya open a bomb black card that ya wanna slot in and change your deck from an aggressive to a more controlly one. Your red cteatues are small and maybe another player scooped up the better black cards so your left with a bad creature but its bigger than what ya got. It might be better than another creature with more power and the same cost but more mana pips cus its castable earlier. Ancient carp is certainly bad even in limited, but the vanilla rule doesnt exactly work how people interpret it. Blue for example rarely gets creatures with power matching their cost and if it does maych theres gonna be a downside. Red regularly gets dudes with big power but little buts, they also have more direct dmg spells than any color so clearing they way for a 6 1 is feasible for them, still bad but a play line that could win a limited game. Vanillas are hard to design around and even harder for players to get attatched too. For example ya cant really make a vanilla dragon cus its gotta have flying. Simply put they dont have interesting design space for card creators and dont get the creative buildcrafting juices flowin of the players so they dont try to push em. There are some gems when it comes to vanillas though. There is a card the buffs creatures with no abilities by +2+2 printed in a set meant to show what magic cards could look like in the future. Theres a commander that does the same and there was a 5 mana 10 10 that was big enough to be a decent card nothing too strong but a big dumb dinosaur. Vanillas also have plenty of card space for flavor text which adds geat worldbuilding. Great ox has a funny quote from bruce tarl borish herder, when it gets reprinted we get a new quote from him insulting the ox and eventually we get a commander card of bruce tarl. While not technically a vanilla colossal dreadmaw is pretty close and widely regarded as the most powerfull magic creature ever printed so ya cant power creep somethin like dreadmaw without breakin the whole game ya know.

[@dark_rit]

Vanilla's were printed just to teach really, since for a vanilla creature to be good it needs to be overstatted quite a bit. Off the top of my head woolly thoctar is a vanilla creature that saw some play in standard, but it cost RGW and was a 5/4. IIRC they also make a mirror creature like thoctar that was 3 mana for a 4/5, but I can't remember what it cost exactly.

[@jonothanthrace1530]

I was hoping you would actually compare Squire to The Dark's other 2-drops, like the bicolor 1/1 goblins, which are real winners.

[@zerazerazerazerazerazerazera]

Valiant Guard's art shouldn't have a sword if it has 0 power. What a shitshow of a card.

[@zahwaurdo4800]

Perhaps a video about the worst French Vanillas?

[@andygoody2599]

Legends should have featured more in this list. Almost EVERY creature is bad in that set and the legacy and price of it deserves more hate and attention. Barktooth isnt better, Lucrezia is awful, Riven Turnbull is worthless and Sivitri Scarzam is one of the worst creatures every printed and was so bad the creators of Chronicles thought it was worth including. Old magic, including Legends, hated creatures.

[@erikwiseman1702]

Major flaw of this listicle isn't it really doesn't take into account the time period in which the creature was printed. Though I suppose creatures reprinted in later sets are fair fodder for criticism alongside creatures of the era.

[@JLH111176]

all the vanilla legend creatures in legends are trash if I remember correctly

[@sovietspacelion]

The art for most of these cards is sick tho

[@Merlewhitefire]

Ancient Carp is absolutely worse than Wandering Ones, Wandering Ones is merely unremarkably mediocre and in a decent tribe. It's identical to several other 1/1 for 1 vanillas. TBH Wandering Ones deserved ten on this list, and only as a stand-in for *all* of those cards. (And even then, Dwarven Trader or Muck Rats still deserve it more because dwarves and rats have less tribal support than spirits and black and red have more cheap aggro options than blue.)

[@ghuruzilla]

Wanna know what's better than wandering ones? Fugitive wizard.

[@TheDizzyDungeoneer]

Ahh yes the infamous nickname of the Ancient Carp... "Ancient Carp"

[@Varooooooom]

Huh… I don’t mind these videos without music lol

[@FreddyChoppins]

Wandering Ones may be awful, but it has some of my favorite flavor text ever...that almost redeems it for me.

[@TheMisleduser]

Don't you take that tone with scaled wurm. The og art was my favorite back in the day.

[@blacklancejeo6625]

Hurloon Minotaur evaded the list, truth be told

[@EMSWK]

Vensers sliver should be lower on the list. It was playable in limited.

[@Tornakin-98]

How bout a list of the 10 best/worst French vanilla cards

[@michaelcollins4534]

I love vanillas, wish they would bring them back in limited. I even made a ruxa patient professor commander deck so these trash boys had a home

[@thevaultwalrus]

Number 10 was alright due to delirium as a 23rd card

[@glennrugar9248]

Ok is there a green one drop with 2/2? If not thats bs. Thats greens whole fuckin gimmick...

[@BCWasbrough]

On the plus side, at least Kasimir has some sweet artwork. :/

[@TheBarvaz]

The flavor set of #8 is pretty damn sad...

[@svenornitier]

Top 10 Best Flavor Text!

[@hggfhh4449]

Thanks im making an all vanilla deck with my friends for the heck of it. Ill avoid these. If I can. I am use what I have and its not much.

[@keyne444]

>Rustwing Falcon >not Battlefield Raptor

[@Y0G0FU]

Kasimir has such badass Art for a card of its time.. and its so goddamn bad. What a shame really.

[@Wagwaam]

Top 10 cards with rizz

[@Bezaliel13]

Wait, Dog and Wolf are different types?😄

[@isambo400]

Hound is dog but wolf isn’t

[@Bezaliel13]

@@isambo400 Weird.

[@slightgraph89]

Video good

[@UsaSatsui]

I'm sorry, but this video was awful. Yes, all these creatures are pretty bad, but you're comparing colorless creatures to colored ones, blue ones to green ones, single-colored to multi-colored, and cards printed years, if not a decade, apart. You want to show how bad a vanilla creature is? Show what you could get for the same cost at the same time. The reader even managed to miss the "Ancient Carp" joke. And seriously, no Vizzerdrix?

[@deathsaurus6699]

First

[@AllTheNerdThings]

6 mana for that !? Kasimir. I've always loved the art for wondering ones though