I Can’t Afford My Daughter’s Birthday Party!

💵 Start eliminating debt for free with EveryDollar - ter.li/3w6nto
📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or send us a message - www.ramseysolu...
Next Steps:
📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a Free Personalized Plan - ter.li/5h1r0i
📱Download your free Ramsey Network app today! - ter.li/cvqzyb
Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/rqwdws
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/tmj3vq
🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show ⮕ ter.li/s5yazz
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/dc2gee
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/a6emrr
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/v8n4u8
📈EntrLeadership ⮕ ter.li/g7s9g0
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...
Product Links:
Total Money Makeover: store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Couples store.ramseyso...
New! 2025 Ramsey Goal Planner: store.ramseyso...
EveryDollar Premium Version Physical Gift Card: store.ramseyso...
Baby Steps Millionaires: store.ramseyso...
Building a Non-Anxious Life store.ramseyso...
New! Breaking Free From Broke store.ramseyso...
New! Get Clear Career Assessment: Find the Work You’re Wired to Do store.ramseyso...
Know Yourself, Know Your Money store.ramseyso...

[@Ka_Gg]

This guy sounds like he's scared to tell his ex wife and daughter "no".

[@saralange1230]

I had pizza with my 3 friends for my quinceañera… I didn’t die, life is good…

[@zzzarkka]

My sister wanted a car instead. Parents got her a $8k car. Way better than a one day 15k party.

[@cur244]

Yup just like weddings. Go less expensive and use the rest for a house or honeymoon. A one day party is a massive waste of money.

[@Chet_24]

Whatever happened to being a parent and telling your child 'no'?

[@DMS20231]

Move to the U.S. and do what we do with our daughters when they’re 15: buy them a present, kiss them on the forehead while telling them you love them, and eat cake.

[@gdolly166]

I am Hispanic and even at 15 I knew this was a total waste of money. We opted out. Put $ towards education/car. Pretty much a wedding style party, such a waste.

[@derekd1510]

Traditionally, the quincenera was not just a girl's birthday celebration, but her "coming out" announcement. As in, her formal announcement of availability for marriage. It was important to make it an event that the most well to do men in the community would find acceptable to attend, thus attracting for her the best possible suitors. With today's Instagirls, it may be not so important anymore...lol.

[@charleenmerced9451]

I opted out of the party. We all went in a week long cruise with several other classmates. Best spent money. Had a blast and made great memories with my family.

[@jungersrules]

I was just wondering how many Hispanics do it. How many people do you think are all in, verses those like you who opted out? I just find quinceañeras fascinating! It's almost like the budget of a wedding?!

[@MNcoquicoqui]

There was a 100k Quinceanera that prior to Covid was on the news paper. Girl was gifted a 40k vehicle. 40k!!!!

[@rustyshackleford6637]

I'm Mexican too

[@VMayB]

I’m glad Rachel showed sensitivity towards the different cultural expectations on celebrating birthdays, weddings, etc. It’s never ok to drown in debt over celebrations but, there’s no right way to spend on a party.

[@gpeg3076]

Yes there is a right way to spend on a party. If you have it you spend it, if you don't have it you don't

[@SilvD3X]

There's always a right way. It's called discussion and budget, like 2 adults with a kid. No right way when there's more that 1 kid (a parent)

[@saralange1230]

Yes, there is a right way… budget for it!

[@DDDD-of3hv]

geezz stoopidity like your statements shouldn't shock me...... right way to spend is.... if you can pay for it, you can afford it, if you can't pay for it, you can't afford it.... VERY basic..... you are NOT the government that gets unlimited spending

[@sierra7534]

I feel bad for Latinos. There is massive, massive, massive pressure to throw a full on wedding for a daughter's sweet 15. It's crazy. I was at one earlier this year that was easily $20k and that was the third one I've been to that was nicer than my wedding

[@ryancraig4811]

Feeding the industries that have been created around significant life/ cultural events.

[@rudyeksh8217]

Nobody is going to remember 3 hour party 15 years from now. But they will remember blowing 15k

[@milofonbil]

The daughter will remember blowing 15k on the party. When she turns 16, she will expect another 15-20k on a new car. When she turns 17 ... when she graduates ... when she gets married... etc.

[@amireallythatgrumpy6508]

They probably won't remember anything.

[@PepeToTheMooon]

It’s going to be 100 likes on instagram, then it’ll be completely forgotten about.

[@TumblinWeeds]

Really? Most people remember their weddings. It’s a once in a lifetime event. I agree it might not be worth $15k but it’s a stretch to say they won’t remember

Is just because American can’t party. I still remember those parties, they were great. We could had a good time with a lot less anyways.

[@gpeg3076]

The best parties sometimes are the ones that don't cost much.

[@DonLee1980]

When I was 15, I got a cake. That’s it. The money saved was later used for my college tuition. Makes a lot more sense

[@RCGuitar982]

"I can't afford to do this but will do it anyway because I don't want to be judged by people who don't get a vote"

[@Scarface_445]

You ain’t never been judged by the Mexican tias 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@patriciagazey4693]

I bet​@@Scarface_445

[@dyates6380]

Exactly. This guy and his money are easily parted, as you can tell.

[@TonyCox1351]

My wife’s family is Mexican but fortunately they are poor so we don’t have to worry about any of this kind of shit 😂

[@satyannair4837]

Well, you forgot the daughter. You forget a woman's ability to influence and brainwash her children, particularly daughters, against their father. Refusing to pay would be easily used by the ex-wife to poison her daughter's mind.

[@Abelram1153]

I am hispanic, I am a pastor that does the religious part of the 15añera. I have done many of them. There is 0 justification to spend 15k on one. Not even 5k. Actually, a 15añera is not even needed! Please, please do not spend your savings on this.

[@liberty4392]

I agree. $400 would make a pretty good party for a sixteen year old and a few friends.

[@symlexbrn5396]

It's the opposite case with my daughter, she refused a party and just asked to go for bowling with her friends, the whole event with their food and drinks was very affordable.

[@wreckers_band8825]

Yep, I asked my daughter whether she wanted a quinceañera party at home with her friends or plane tickets to go back home and hang out with her cousins for a week. She chose the plane tickets.

[@talyahr3302]

Same. My parents wanted to give me a sweet 16 and I refused.

[@kiki11974]

Dude doesn’t sound like he has the fortitude to put his foot down and limit the cost of this party.

[@Benary96]

​@novakd1530 sounds like the ex is a very toxic person and she may be abusive and yes he's a man but he really has no freedoms like a women.has with an abusive spouse...also he does want to support this fun time for his daughter I think it's more he feels it so expensive because of the ex not the daughter...and he loves his daughter but his ex sounds super muniputive and toxic probably using this party against him to see his daughter...I've seen it before with my uncles ex wives....some women can be terrible....

[@barrbarr31u]

This crap drives me nuts in my Mexican American culture. We wil go into debt to spend 15k on one night for a teen girl and then when college time rolls around they have to borrow and go into student debt or have a car ro drive. It's ass backwards and when O bring it up folls say things like "Well, it's tradition." So silly.

[@tdgdbs1]

Not just here, I am living in Mexico and seeing people go in to debt for the most ridiculous "traditions"; one savior is most Mexican's houses are paid for.

[@Mansini77]

Funny thing is, most girls that live in Mexico probably don’t have quinces because the family can’t afford it. It’s the Chicanas that live here in States that get the quinces because her dad is a roofer or carpenter working 80 hours a week and will bend over backwards for his kids.

[@EJleon96]

I’ll be having a traditional “Mexican wedding” no bachelors party, no groomsmen/ bridesmaids, and a simple and sweet Catholic wedding with tacos at the reception. I’ll have a more meaningful wedding for half the cost😂 sure our 15s can get out of hand but at least our weddings aren’t ridiculously blown out of proportion

[@derekd1510]

Traditionally, the quincenera was not just a girl's birthday celebration, but her "coming out" announcement. As in, her formal announcement of availability for marriage. It was important to make it an event that the most well to do men in the community would find acceptable to attend, thus attracting for her the best possible suitors. With today's Instagirls, it may be not so important anymore...lol.

[@John-du2mq]

Then she gets pregnant 1 or 2 years later and needs help and money for that

[@jumpiam8477]

I never have a birthday party in my entire life and I'm ok with it. Just spend time with my family is enough. My BD is the day I celebrate my mom achivement in giving birth of me. So I usually take her out for dinner, give her a hug and tell her that I love her. 😊

[@edhcb9359]

Same daughter and ex-wife will be coming to him for a wedding he can’t afford in a few years. 😂

[@bigcahuna42366]

A $120K income living in LA with dependents is classified as just barely middle class, if not lower than that. A $15K birthday party with not much money saved isn't something that is reachable for people in his economic status.

[@HoneyDooDoo]

Traditionally the girl is suppose to ask relatives to become “god-parents” and cover certain items of the event. This would reduce the finally costs by 60-70%.

[@daveblackman816]

That’s what people aren’t understand. And he’s going thru a divorce on top of that. Even if he agrees to pay half (which is doubtful) that’s way too much for him.

[@ptulip]

Agreed. Problem is mother will throw a fit and be upset. Which will make the daughter upset and she'll think her dad doesn't love her. The divorce is worse than the price of this party. I would give her 3K if he really can, and put a limit on it.

[@daveblackman816]

@@ptulip and it’s bad enough he already sounds like a pushover. That divorce is going to take so much from him, alone. Yet alone, the party.

[@ALo-yv2pj]

@@ptulipLol I forgot all about the Mothers side😂 yeah, this is gonna get ugly.

[@LetsGoYall]

Some people just cannot say the word "No"........

[@alladreamwedreamed]

For those who don't know, the quiňce is a HUGE deal, on par with a wedding in scale and scope. I can feel in this dad's voice that he wants the best for his daughter and is pained to not easily be able to afford the quiñce she hopes for. I hope they can all come to a good solution and still have a great party.

[@Drenwickification]

Yeah but a lot of people want nice fancy weddings but shouldn’t have them if they can’t afford them. This kind of stuff is just stupid, spending that much on what is a party is just insane if you’re not very wealthy imo.

[@baiqi44]

No event of any kind should ever take place if it puts someone (such as a close family member) in great financial stress. There are much smarter things to spend money on and this is not one of them. Weddings also shouldn't be one of them if the person/people paying for it is going to get into a lot of financial stress.

[@GlassJack]

It's not a "huge" deal. It's a silly tradition that clearly has this dad under a lot of pressure. Blow your money on whatever you want, as long as you have the money.

[@jessicalopez9629]

My daughters quince is in 3 years and 3 months and we started saving this month. It will cost around $15,000. It is a huge deal in the Hispanic community more than weddings where we live as most don't have weddings but will have a quince. I'm just glad I have 1 girl I have a friend with 4 girls. Also we are doing diy things and 3 other people will be pitching in to help pay for a few parts.

[@JustinCase780]

Her dress and invited friends are the most important. Forget renting an expensive venue, and overpriced restaurant, etc. You can do an amazing special 15 party for $1K.

[@oldhag2881]

The expensive parties are for the parents' bragging rights.

[@JustinCase780]

@@oldhag2881 Not at all. It's for their daughter.

[@Sunflwrbtch]

I could do it for $300

[@alisons9740]

Her dress alone could easily cost over $3K. It’s no joke. Important to define priorities and be practical. Teach her good financial management more important than a big party, but do both. 💃🏻

[@JustinCase780]

@@alisons9740 Are you high? 3K? 😂

[@whitneyw.7919]

I gotta be honest I make a lot, and I could definitely afford the party but without a principal I would never do that because I don’t want my kids to feel spoiled and entitled, put that 10k in a college fund, and when she’s 30, she will be far more grateful if she’s reasonable at all

[@derekd1510]

Traditionally, the quincenera was not just a girl's birthday celebration, but her "coming out" announcement. As in, her formal announcement of availability for marriage. It was important to make it an event that the most well to do men in the community would find acceptable to attend, thus attracting for her the best possible suitors. With today's Instagirls, it may be not so important anymore...lol. FYI: It's "principle"

[@Aki_Lesbrinco]

It's not. We live in modern times, women don't need to announce that they are of a suitable age to have marry. They can, you know, meet people until they find the one, like most of us do.

[@adrianaespanarecio1687]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@derekd1510 What’s the principle? Coming out announcement? This is not the Gilded Age who have old money and marry within social classes.

[@derekd1510]

@@adrianaespanarecio1687 I believe the OP principle was, "don't spoil your child so they grow up to be principled, not entitled and materialistic." Plus, girl's have Instagram now. They don't need quinceneras anymore...LoL!

[@kurtjames9487]

​@@derekd1510lol. The principle and tradition are both GONE at this point.

[@Jdonaleshen]

I understand these are cultural parties but watching the TikTok videos of them is mind blowing! I didn’t even have a wedding 1/2 as elaborate as these events.

[@stevenporter863]

The diamond industry made the diamond engagement ring costing three months salary tradition too. Just because it is tradition it doesn't get a blank check

[@Jdonaleshen]

@@stevenporter863100% and that is why I have a zirconia … and also have an emergency fund

[@Cathy-xi8cb]

NO mention of how the wife and daughter can hold him hostage emotionally with this? This is a HUGE moment where the wife can twist his boundaries into him caving to equate love with money to their daughter.

[@lexalee5795]

YES!!! So sad

[@Mr.Boring_Man]

Perfectly stated.

[@TCR2025]

She said she’ll pay half. While going thru a divorce with him. That promise is as good as Joe saying he’ll payback everyone’s studentloans.

[@lexalee5795]

@@TCR2025 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 I’m cracking up! So True

[@barnabusdoyle4930]

And set the precedent to have both the ex and daughter be able to do this again for other milestones. New car for getting the driver license, graduation party or trip to Europe, and so on

[@luispatino3180]

Last quince i went to cost close to 100k. They didnt tell us it was, but after recently getting married and knowing costs of venues and vendors and guest headcount, it had to be at least $250 per person who was there. It was a one day event, and done. It still boggles me how someone can blantantly spend that much on essentially a glorified birthday party.

[@ignitionSoldier]

Wow! That is absurd. Why not put that money in a custodial brokerage and save for her future? The decisions some people make are baffling.

[@ebonneenelson2325]

😮😮😮😮

[@tdgdbs1]

Must be cartel's money.

[@bigcahuna42366]

They probably participated in looting some higher end retail shops to "pay" for it

[@Ladymac-eq9rz]

We all are a particular age once. Crazy you spend that kind of money and 5yrs after that you’re struggling. Worth it?

[@chrisengletx]

i love that they recognized both the divroce guilt and the cultural stuff, were sensitive to it but still held firm on the great principles of the Ramsey method. really great job guys.

[@RafaelHernandez-vt8fu]

As a father of two little girls I can emphasize with this dad. Wants to give the world to his girl but knows it’s not the right call right now. Shame on the mother holding him hostage to this. I hope the daughter understands later on in life what a caring and loving father she has. It’s obviously weighing on him.

[@sandrab.3538]

And if the father is able to have an open and loving conversation, the daughter will remember that and learn from it. Courage to him!

[@neolithic3]

Give your daughters the world by loving them, teaching them to be strong independent and educated. Teach them how to save and invest as early as possible.

[@dking1362]

Years ago I was invited to a lavish party for a BABY! The parents were Puerto Rican; Mom was 16. It was a rental hall, full-out band, alcohol - the words. All in honor of his christening. Insane.

[@ManuelGonzalez-fn2zf]

.......and the "christening" meant NOTHING.

[@TheSafetyMarshalPSF]

If you have to ask you cant afford it. Kids DONT understand the value of 15k because on social media it looks like everyone just has it. IM planning my wedding now and my fiance gave me a budget (cash we do not believe in debt) and i laughed at him and told him i will use less than half of it. Id rather go without and have a simple ceremony.

[@iCANT_BELIEVE_YOU_SAID_THAT]

That man is very fortunate to have you. Kudos to you and your husband.

[@diggernash1]

You can side step the budget spiral by setting an amount and then transferring it tomorrow. I did this with my daughter's wedding. I gave her x dollars almost a year ahead of the wedding and did not allow any further discussion regarding money. I also stipulated that I was not to be brought into any planning discussions outside of my direct role.

[@thomasjorge4734]

My Wife kept our Wedding costs to $1,500.00. She is FANTASTIC!

[@standingonmountain3975]

My wedding cost less than 1,000, but it was amazing just outside Yosemite national park. 14 years ago, and we are still married.

[@southerncoinhunter]

I am sorry, we did my Daughter's 16th birthday for under 1k by doing our own cooking, supplied the music, hall rental decorations. We had over 100 people and had a great time

[@warrioroflight3813]

100 guest for under $1000? Did you feed them hot dogs from the dollar store? Why even invite so many people if you don't want to spend money?

[@Mansini77]

Yup. I’m married to a Mexicana and our daughter’s quince cost around 18k. 15k is pretty middle of the road. As an outsider, it seems ridiculous, but it’s part of their culture. Unfortunately, the quince girls look online on instagram and TikTok looking at over the top extravagant quinces and want that for themselves. Rachel is correct, set the boundaries and limits.

[@RepentImmediately]

I always find it interesting when people who claim to be committed to their culture don't marry within their culture 🤔 My late father was a black and was big into racial activism but, although he went through at least a dozen girlfriends after my parents' divorce, none of them were black, nor is my mother, who he was married to for 17 years.

[@markg999]

Which is why it's usually a party for the mom to throw the kids usually don't care.

[@barryisa7353]

My old coworker was a stay at home mom who went to work for a whole year to fully fund her daughters quince. I always admired Anna for that

[@paigeangeljones]

So stupid to waste a year of life working for a one day party when they could have been spending that time in actually quality time with their daughter

[@Jch833]

How do parents even ALLOW their children to expect this type of stuff? What in the living HECK, dude?!!!

[@PharmersConsulting]

Exactly you creste a financial awareness and culture in your home that sets the tone in advance and means no one brings up ridiculous demands

[@kiki11974]

Folks need to stop going into debt for BS

[@angel-ij4xv]

exactly this is why i stay away from credit cards

[@pattyajones]

I love when you guys address other culture's expectations with money. You educate me.

[@PepeToTheMooon]

He wants to take 15k of his savings for a glorified birthday party?? LOL it’s no wonder people drown in debt. People are hilarious.

[@tkdevlop]

Best my daughter if finance are like him is a wish & a cake from Costco

[@Scarface_445]

LMAO! Yup, that’s a quinceañera for you, it’s a planned party. With months and months of prep. 😂😂 My family couldn’t afford it, so my parents solution: the party or braces? :)

[@reese85]

He only has to come up with half of that amount and the mother is going to pay the other half. I see no problem with that

[@PepeToTheMooon]

@@reese85 he’s going thru a divorce lol. He’s definitely gonna end up paying for all of it.

[@ebonneenelson2325]

That is too much for a party

[@katyedwards3935]

Happy belated birthday, Josie 🎂🎉🥳🎈🍰🕯️🧁🎵🎶

[@AmericanWears]

Planned by the mother, your ex wife. It was her idea she can pay for it. I stopped having birthday parties at about 12 years old, she doesn’t need a party she’ll be okay I promise. Get her a nice gift maybe and a cake, that’s it.

[@oldhag2881]

Even without the party, I'm pretty sure she'll turn 16 next year.

[@ideasmatter4737]

In my extended family those who can truly afford the big events, host a big event. Those who can’t, don’t, and we can all love and respect one another! Im so thankful for that understanding.

[@robertsquared2916]

I use to work at the largest catering hall on the East Coast, the amount people are spending on Sweet 16’s is nuts. I worked a Russian one that was well over 120k.

[@Mr.Boring_Man]

This is culturally a big deal. I've gone to a lot of them. The divorce decree should count his contribution towards alimony. This is emotional abuse and financial abuse being done by the wife upheld by the courts. I don't envy his position as a father.

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

The courts do not know how to do math, they just take money from one party and they give it to another. This party should be a prepayment of child support for her until 18.

[@KS-cl8br]

no this isnt alimony or child support, college car surgury braces weddings etc all need to be accounted for ... you know this when you have a kid

[@BrianW211]

$15K for a Quinceanera? What's he gonna do when she wants a $100K wedding?

[@sehoujay]

The husband and wife pay for it

[@j800q]

@@sehoujayfunny

[@amgooder]

A BIG loan🤔🤣

[@janetd254]

In Hispanic culture the brides family isn’t expected to pay for weddings. The husband is to provide for the bride starting with the wedding But they may go half

[@grammarguru554]

Have her pay for it lol

[@TownspersonB]

It's really easy to plan big and spend money when most or all of it isn't coming from your wallet. That helps explain why the wife and daughter are so ready to plan such a big birthday party.

[@reese85]

The ex wife agreed to pay half. Did you not listen to the call?

[@milofonbil]

Exwife is an entitled spend-a-holic

[@TownspersonB]

@@reese85 You don't think the bill would be 1/2 or less the money if the guy didn't have to pay up?

[@reese85]

@@TownspersonB no. I’m sure this wasn’t something that just happened out of the blue.

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes😮

[@HHmz-rp8ht]

I thought Ken would be the sound of reason to say that $10k for a birthday party is ridiculous but him and rachel didn't even bring up the idea that this shouldn't be done

[@Richard-wl2nh]

I guess they didn't want to crap on someone's tradition and culture, they just danced around it.

[@johnwilburn]

1) I bet Dave was glitching over this 2) I bet Dave wishes he’d had a Hispanic host at that moment who could have ripped on it.

[@ykook7000]

​@@Richard-wl2nh exactly political correct rather than financial advice

[@melanieb2132]

It's kinda like telling brides that they shouldn't spend any money on a ring or wedding. Yeah, culturally, it's a right of passage.. set a high but reasonable budget and go for it

[@MrLalasd]

He did ... did you listen?

[@abelvillarreal5383]

Quiences are basically everything a wedding reception is buy for 15yr Olds. Expensive dress, catering, dj, venue, photography etc

[@patmichael8519]

If I were that daughter, my parents would have had a one-word answer - NO!!!! Times sure have changed. I can't imagine why you'd spend even $1000 on a birthday party, unless you were going to a very expensive restaurant with lots of guests.

[@leandramelo1030]

Exactly 😂 same here 😅

[@OopThereItIs77777]

Times haven’t changed lol Hispanics have been doing this for forever. They’ve been telling their kids yes for years

[@Trudloops]

I wouldn't even have raised the idea, as I knew my parents' thoughts on such events.

[@joywebster2678]

Because it's an expected cultural event based on the Presenting the "now available" daughter to her social circle for in the old days planned marriages, and family business connections. So you had to show the girl off, your hosting capabilities, it's very old world, unfortunately they've kept this wedding sized event for no reason, because they don't arrange marriages anymore. Just like Caucasians don't do expensive coming out balls at 16 except in high society. Sorry the middle class fami.ies don't scale back expectations in this new age.

[@eurekahope5310]

A family threw an elaborate quince. A few yers later their FAFSA was around $1,000 a year. The benefits of working under the table so they can get SNAP, free medical, and state aid while soending many thousands on a party to impress their friends.

[@charlesburkhart800]

These parties and weddings are crazy expensive. That is just not sane to use that much money on something other than education.

[@cherylpeterson1]

Get a prepaid credit card, follow/track every purchase. When it’s gone, that’s it!!!

[@EatMyPropwash]

My most “expensive” birthday party was when my mom bought me and 15 friends general admission tickets to go ice skating and they all got rental skates…… and we had pizza and soda after…… $150 total. What happened to THOSE days!?

[@johnwilburn]

That sounds like so much fun! I miss those days! It was awesome being a kid in the 80s.

[@SRTBOAT]

That sounds like a kickass party tbh.

[@beebbeec280]

Grown man… what has the world come too.

[@georgewagner7787]

I was a kid in the 70s. I spent my sweet sixteen at slumber party.

[@derekd1510]

Expensive quinceneras are not something new. Traditionally, the quincenera was not just a girl's birthday celebration, but her "coming out" announcement. As in, her formal announcement of availability for marriage. It was important to make it an event that the most well to do men in the community would find acceptable to attend, thus attracting for her the best possible suitors. With today's Instagirls, it may be not so important anymore...lol.

[@licoreen]

My Mexican mother-in-law was telling me about a quinceañera she had recently attended. She said the parents spent $90k. They make good money here in the US, but they got a loan to pay for part of it. She, on the other hand, always had simple backyard celebrations for all her kids’ birthdays.

[@PatriceM14]

I pray he finds the courage to have difficult conversations because it sounds like there's a lot that hasn't been said in his family.

[@alanbirkner1958]

We've been to weddings that didn't cost that much. Get a room ( or a backyard) and have various people contribute dishes, rent a tent?, and have a dj. There's still college, and a wedding. Tina, Al's wife

[@Operation-Reality]

The problem is that's enough money to get her at 16 years old a party, a used vehicle and plus cash in her pocket..😢

[@lexalee5795]

Instead of a Quincenera, that money could be used for a nice vacation for him & his daughter or a nice cheap car for her or something. People need to get their priorities

[@kiki11974]

That’s exactly what I was thinking.

[@georgewagner7787]

She doesn't need a vacation. She needs a college fund.

[@derekd1510]

Traditionally, the quincenera was not just a girl's birthday celebration, but her "coming out" announcement. As in, her formal announcement of availability for marriage. It was important to make it an event that the most well to do men in the community would find acceptable to attend, thus attracting for her the best possible suitors. With today's Instagirls, it may be not so important anymore...lol.

[@lexalee5795]

@@georgewagner7787 yes we know that! Damn! But parents want to make memories for their kids too! Damn Simpleton

[@carojames6776]

He should put that money away for her EDUCATION.

[@PInk77W1]

Imagine if he put $15k in a S&P 500 account for his daughter How much she would have for retirement age

[@roolyfe]

Dr. John’s advice McDonalds is hiring at $20 per hour! 😅

[@JustinCase780]

It's a lot of McCrap!

[@margaretsnewtoylynnparks5336]

Birthday / Christmas gifts-small gathering- great gift (future vacation/car/camp/redecorate room). Age appropriate! A little reality per age/event!

[@sierraolsen3177]

So glad this video came up to me honestly could not imagine spending 15,000 on a birthday although I guess to me I don’t even remember my 16th birthday today. I turn 21 today my parents are making a small salad bar for my birthday maybe cost 30 bucks the greatest gift my parents have given me is helping me pay for a car and my education been moved out for / years and have 8 roommates most who have to pay for everything themselves and many who are older struggling to pay off loans as fast as possible. Thing is make it small but nice and your wife and daughter will thank you all later. So excited to have 33 credits left of graduation and 150 total credit hours enough to earn my CPA my hard work and with my parents help(they are Ramsey-ish) will lead me on this journey to become a babysteps millionaire and can retire comfortably I started watching Dave at 17 my dad said he is to extreme we will see if he laughing when I have a nice 3 bedroom house, am giving outrageously generously(I already do give now and volunteer as an org. leader at my church, but elated to give more), and have amazing retirement(plan to open a retirement account this summer where I practice as an intern the full-time life).

[@dyates6380]

Thanks for not making it all about you. BTW, based on your spelling, punctuation and grammar, you may want to see if you can get some type of discount on some of that education you're bragging about. Third grade errors in there ......... Damn.

[@georgewagner7787]

Awesome

[@MrsEJV]

You go, girl!

[@amadoudicko552]

I wish Dave was there to answer this call 😅

[@tubenachos]

Ken with the light-hearted roast at the end 😂 ❤

[@jennyhammond9261]

Ken, a quinceaños is the equivalent of a wedding (as far as the party, goes, just nobod'y is getting married). There's a ceremony and then something as elaborate as a wedding reception with dj/live band, catering, decorations, a very expensive dress, etc. I'm not saying it's justified, just giving you a better idea. Jason, amigo, you gotta find some padrinos.

[@Dad-in-WA]

funding a kids milestone like a quinceanera, bar/bat mtitzvah's is such a tough decision. especially this guy is going thru a divorce. He wants to make sure his kid will be happy during the divorce..I've been thru this and it's such a tough call. looking back, very few kids hold a grudge how small the party was. they appreciate the effort and will understand the circumstances during that event like a divorce. thanks for sharing

[@CynthiaIvers]

it's so obvious he can't afford it though.

[@franciscoobregon1644]

I have been to many 15s and the range in cost has been from 5k to 30k, from what i heard after. Some of them could afford them, based on their jobs and homes they had, but some could definitely not. I never agreed with any of it, just don't see the point in spending so much on a birthday party. Hey if that's how they want to spend their hard earned money it's all up to them.

[@Kennethstef]

I totally agree that it’s their money and they can do whatever they want with it. That being said, you can clearly tell from the guys stress in his voice that he clearly is not able to afford it at least at this stage of his life.

[@TCR2025]

That’s just a huge waste of money. It’s a quenceanera and all, but idk of anyone who dropped that much for one. Maybe 1K max. Dude needs to look at his priorities. He’s throwing money away on one day.

[@riceball777]

with the prices of everything i cant even throw a part for a 5 year old at Chuck E cheese for $1,000.

[@rg1whiteywins598]

I know they can make a big bang for very little if family and friends make the food, inexpensive decorations can be styled beautifully. They can find a local teen garage band that's good and give them 500-600 bucks. You don't have to waste money to make it super nice and special. There are plenty really good garage bands if you check around. There's always big sales on prom style dresses. A good 3000 should do it for the total amount.😀

[@DisabilityExams]

"No" is a complete sentence.

[@ldv02]

I’m Puerto Rican, we do them too, we call them quinceañero. At 15 I told my mom I don’t want one, that’s ridiculous. Some of my cousins had had it and it was nonsense. I asked for a trip and was way less expensive than that. That trip was a great experience for me and opened doors for me. So glad I only have boys! 😏

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

Oh yeah, those ceremonies. Different cultures have them. Jewish have something for the boys (Bharmitzva, sp?) . Indians have something for the boys (thread ceremony).

[@ldv02]

@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 Oh yeah but going into debt for it? No way! I didn’t go into debt for my wedding

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

@@ldv02 Is there anything in the culture that states that unless this ceremony is done, it is going to be sin for God or something? Like the clock is ticking and if the daughter turns 16, she should have had this ceremony done? If it is not that big of a deal, then yeah, I do not think one should go into debt over it. Then again, it is not like the ceremony has a mandated expenditure.

[@ldv02]

@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 no, nothing like that. Its just celebrating that she’s becoming a woman basically. Not having the party won’t stop that from happening. You can spend whatever but ppl like to outperform others

[@strangeroamer3219]

​@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303It actually has nothing to do with God. It's more of a Catholic tradition. They have the girl go through a little ceremony at church, and the rest of it is in the reception. You know, eating, drinking, dancing, things that have actually nothing to do with God.

[@dnah02]

Invest that 15k cancel the party do a small family get together

[@scoobie8amg]

The venue I got married in hosts quincineras too. The events look crazy similar! 😂

[@Budgetznmore]

My parents didn’t waste no more than $500 in my 15th. I knew about my parents situation and I was still do not understand why my community feels like its a need 😅its crazy!

[@AbdalMalik-ye1df]

$500... lool is that the amount of love they had for you ? sad ! dont be jealous of this daughter just because her dad loves her more

[@chessmaster1115]

Sounds like a great teaching moment of how about going to homeless shelter and feed the homeless for a day and teach some perspective. Not everyone has a home to go to.

[@thesuperdingos]

So you’re spending 15k for some pictures that will go on instagram/facebook that will be forgotten about 2-3 days after the party. Smart.

[@Cathy-xi8cb]

These events are not only remembered, they are currency in the community. They could determine jobs, friends, even marriage partners. You don't understand that culture.

[@thesuperdingos]

@@Cathy-xi8cbthey’re remember for how wasteful they are with that money.

[@TCR2025]

@@Cathy-xi8cband then they wonder why they can’t ever get out of poverty:

[@reese85]

@@TCR2025 don’t blame a onetime party he prob knew about for years on poverty

[@TCR2025]

@@reese85he can spend $500 dollars on it. Not 15k of money he doesn’t truly have. She “says” she’ll split it, but yeah right.

[@metinyt4623]

Nice work. I’ve been on the HypeFX2000 train for a while, never sold as they are always building.

[@milofonbil]

OMG $10,000???? for the Quinceanera? According to my research -- $5,000 to $20,000. WoW That's a good part of a college education! Step 5: Save for your children’s college fund. Quinceanera or college? I would say no and say college is more important.

[@talyahr3302]

Ken did a GREAT job at the end!

[@WinS392]

my parents probably qualified as upper middle class but i doubt they ever paid close to $1,000 for a birthday party. birthday parties for me usually meant movie tickets, pizza hut, and cake with 6-7 friends. never felt deprived. that's way more than a lot of kids get. i was surprised that the hosts didn't push back on the $3,000 number. the guy isnt a financial mess but he does need to improve his savings before spending that much IMO

[@GratefulDeb270]

Great responses! Good job! 👏

[@beesknees213]

Mom and Dad had 15 years to figure this out.

[@Jarlus]

This is real. A quinceanera by definition is not a surprise.

[@emilyavery5970]

the divorce probably effected that savings fund. Lots of people do vindictive things during a separation

[@milofonbil]

@@Jarlus a quinceanera is not a surprise ...hopefully all of our kids reach 15. But the expected lavishness can certainly be controlled.

[@SDPtor]

When I was 15 in 1988 my mom made me a cake and my family came over….perfect!

[@melanieb2132]

Culturally, the quinceanera is a huge deal.. like a wedding. So it will be more expensive

[@cmdtrigun]

@@melanieb2132 Cultures change all the time

[@harrychu650]

The East Asian families would spend that money on academic tutoring and college savings funds. Just different priorities. Either way children become very expensive into their teenage years. It is what we signed up for as a parent, no one asked to be brought into this world. Man up...

[@RepentImmediately]

A huge party is totally unnecessary.

[@Maurinusa]

It’s amazing how much money people will blow because they overvalue the opinions and expectations of others

[@tristan2332]

Yep it's all ego driven they can't look worse than someone else. Social media just tosses fuel on the issue.

[@chewyskyline1394]

I asked my daughters if they want a quinceañera just a barbecue on the backyard. Or a couple thousand dollar car that they can use .they both choose the car. I explained to them that a party is a one day thing, no one seemed to get please.

[@Mansini77]

I offered my daughter a vacation to Costa Rica instread of a quince. She still wanted a quince.

[@lees_g]

Take a zero off it and invite those you really matter not who she is wanting to impress. Life over a birthday party 👍🏼

[@klt9874]

Rachel did a great job balancing sound advice but recognizing that culturally this is important to him and his family.

[@naomirachel9161]

Agreed

[@ghostbird92]

She's a lot nicer than most of us would be

[@TonyCox1351]

“Culturally” these cultures don’t plan for retirement, and rely on their children to care for them when they grow old. And going into debt when the kid is 15 is playing into that. We need to acknowledge that not some traditions are bad and need to be dropped.

[@milofonbil]

Culture is why we spend a lot of money impressing our family, friends, neighbors, church members and work colleagues. First the communion, then the quincenera, then the car, then the graduation present, then the wedding, then the baby showers, etc. Where did baby step 4 and 5 come in?

[@klt9874]

I think that culturally the party is a part of tradition so Rachel gave him a way to continue to do it but in a responsible way. I know that personal finance is personal and all advice does not work for everyone. There is a way to be financially responsible and do the things you value.

[@Silverdragon517]

Ken is so good at advising

[@nsr60ster85]

A lot of people can't afford $15,000 birthday parties for their kids. That's why they don't get one. Nor do they need it.

[@FTG2Eli]

I feel for those that are pressured to have extravagant/expensive parties due to tradition. We are not Mexican, but my son was asked to participate as one of the escorts for a friend's quincenera when he was 15. Wow...........what an event. We did pay for my son's rental suit, but the dresses....................????? And of course, the food. Great party, but I could think of a lot better use for that money.

[@genxx2724]

My cousin was asked to be an escort. My aunt said no way. She wasn’t letting him get sucked into any of that.

[@FTG2Eli]

@@genxx2724🙂

[@zuhalter0071]

My wife and I wanted to get married sooner. We shopped around, and holy crap, venues are expensive! So, we saved our money five years for a down payment on some property, held our wedding overlooking the mountains at our new home, paid the DJ a handle of whiskey, and my Father's speach basically was "Finally!" But hey, we technically put all the money into us.

[@kevgret]

Sounds like he doesnt know how to say no

[@ilai7893]

Man has no boundaries, so it's crazy how he allows his wife to pressure him to do this. Also he needs to get her to chip in! This cannot be just on him to afford

[@rickwalker5203]

A cake and punch. That’s it. Save the $14k and help pay for College later.

[@andresortiz560]

As a Hispanic I’m telling you right now buddy you’re spending $15k on training your daughter to expect another $30k for her wedding in 10-20 years. Best wishes.

[@cmdtrigun]

Imagine feeling you have to go into debt for old cultural obligations. Sad that people are reluctant to ditch culture when it burdens them

[@miketreyey]

You mean the same way people go into debt for weddings?

[@nickyschmidt2814]

We're lucky enough to have a house and garden. And every important occasion has pretty much been a garden party, sometimes with a hog roast, one time (for a 40th birthdy) we even hired in some young neighbours as wait staff. I would never, ever borrow against a party (even a wedding). And I'm delighted that my kids would never expect it. I think the divorce changes the dynamics though in this case.

[@gdolly166]

Ken the money goes towards alcohol for the adults, dj, limo, catered food, pics etc...money down the drain.

[@SO4JTV]

How ‘bout a big NO to all this big $$ spending on a Bday party ?- esp. in this economy & he’s going thru a divorce too ?