Therapist Explains Surprising ADHD Symptoms | Unexpected Signs of Neurodivergency

[@stephaniebarrows5428]

“Sleep revenge” seems like an attempt to ignore that everyone needs time to play - not just to honor an “inner child,” but to creatively express themselves and learn more effectively.

[@mcphistoification]

I say that I have to borrow time from tomorrow to have some time for myself today….and then I’m up til 1:30

[@CatGold5047]

Yeah, it's not even revenge for me, it's literally just I CAN'T. I can't be a mom and work and not get some time for me. Something's got to give. So is it sleep or is it me time or is it mom or is it work? Most of the time it ends up sleep or work because I NEED me time, there is no want. My kids NEED mom time. So either sleep goes or work goes, and we have to have money to survive.

[@1midnightfish]

"Delayed sleep phase disorder" IS ME. It's the first thing that I started thinking I needed to have professionally addressed, decades before I even considered I may have ADHD. But for me it's not so much about "revenge"... just desperately trying to go to bed having done at least *some* of the things I know I lunched out during the day. Of course that doesn't work and I end up frittering away most of that extra time that isn't really extra time (because there's no such thing, life is not a football match!) or I screw up. And then I end up weirdly jet-lagged for days or weeks. It's the bane of my life.

[@trixie1636]

@@mcphistoification ugh 😩

[@Irene-gq4jr]

@@CatGold5047 Do you find you stay up at night because that's when everyone else has gone to bed and you can get some quiet time? My sleep routine is shambolic, but I do know if I stay up either very late at night or wake very early in the morning, I can properly relax in that time when no-one else is awake to bother me. I don't have kids but I do have a full time job and it plays havoc, but I've never been able to change it and nowadays don't even try.

[@PurpleRhymesWithOrange]

I was not aware there was a separate diagnosis auditory processing disorder. I always told people I have auditory dyslexia. Almost daily I have to tell my companion that if she needs me to do something tomorrow she has to send it as a text to my phone or I will forget about by the time I go to bed.

[@PurpleRhymesWithOrange]

@@007nadineL So it's too much to ask her to send me a text so I block out four hours of my day to help?

[@thehaikulibrarian]

That sounds familiar.

[@sharbux]

​@@007nadineL Doesn't work the same. Nothing to do with "being your mother" but all to do with communication styles and being a decent human being in realising what others need for effective communication.

[@cerissabrown3487]

I text myself and ask for everything in written material from other people

[@laurenmay2098]

Can you text yourself or email? I set my clock because I will not do that to others. My disorder, my responsibility.

[@AnnaReed42]

I get made fun of by (mostly older) people in my life for having a lot of anxiety around phone calls, especially for important things. I would vastly prefer to have an important conversation over text or messaging or email. The 3 biggest reasons for this are mentioned in this video: - Memory issues - I worry that I won't remember the important information, and I can't reference it later. - Verbal issues - my brain will put together a perfectly worded sentence and my mouth will forget what I was saying halfway through. - Auditory processing issues - there are only so many times I can say "what?" without causing intense frustration. These are things that I cannot just "get over." They are legitimate reasons that phone calls are objectively worse for my brain.

[@_Kalakos]

Omfg! Thats why phone calls terrify me!!!! U just gave me the answer i have been looking for. I get terrible anxiety, but couldnt really pinpoint why something as simple as a phone call would be so terrifying. Reading your list was an aha moment for me 🥲

[@AllThingsConsidered333]

Same but also for me sometimes just the sound itself grates on my brain & makes me internally irritated..

[@brightspacebabe]

I grew up with making phone calls before email and texting and I can’t stand phone calls either. I like being able to think about what I will write about in an email or text.

[@francescathomas3502]

Me too. I very much prefer emails to phone calls!!! Although if I have to be on the phone, I make sure to have paper and pen close by to write down notes. Same thing for with skype or zoom calls as well.

[@someonesomewhere9115]

What makes it worse these days (not for phone calls for me, but for social anxiety) are the people who say that everyone who struggles with those things are just babies who are only afraid because we couldn't socialize during COVD lockdowns, and that's what caused the anxiety. Although I don't usually have much social anxiety anymore, I had it really badly years before COVID.

[@Alright70]

Being ADHD I love that you talk fast. I get so frustrated with slow talk.

[@Dayholly86]

KZbin has a speed setting. Its a godsend!

[@morganmadsen429]

​@@Dayholly86 I recently discovered this and it's great!

[@morganmadsen429]

I actually didn't even notice she was talking fast! My ADHD brain appreciates it, too!

[@chcknnggts]

Came here to say this. I appreciate not having to suffer through drawn out speech.

[@laurenmay2098]

That is me, lol. Now, I only listening to her, that wall, lol, it is insane, 😂😂😂😂😂

[@trixie1636]

Speaking of fidget toys… I remember all through middle, high school and college, doodling on every single piece of paper that was in front of me. My parents (nonbelievers) kept telling me I needed to stop doing that because I wasn’t paying attention. I said “no, I NEED to do it TO pay attention… I know it doesn’t make sense, but I need something to distract myself so I can listen..” I was also a teenager when the internet happened and I remember googling, or whatever it was called back then, trying to figure out “what was wrong with me”. It’s amazing how far we have come. I’m still learning so much, and realizing soo much of me is this and so many other things are connected, and as much as I kind of hate that “every post” on social media seems to be about ADD now, I do actually appreciate it. I appreciate the commradery and the knowledge that I’m not alone, I’m not broken or lazy or flaky… I’m just wired differently…. It seems harder in my older years somehow.. maybe the more responsibility and more people depending on you to be a certain way and fit in a certain mold…. But I’m glad we are all here 🥹 Thank you for your video.

[@TheresaReichley]

God I wish you’d see my notebooks in school. Nothing but doodle and short notes. Got in trouble for drawing palm trees on stuff I was supposed to be grading because palm trees I guess.

[@trixie1636]

@ yessss so many squiggles… and I actually drew trees too!! But not palms, but like an oak tree(?) with above ground roots resting on one of the lines and the tree climbing up the side of the margin line.. I did draw palms too but was never really good at it 😅 But how weird for it to be trees

[@username00009]

Regarding “every” post being about ADHD (the updated term for ADD), it sounds like you may need a second account for non-ADHD content (unless you don’t mind). The algorithm will feed you whatever you engage with.

[@jaclynns.jungle]

I also HAD to doodle to listen in school and my teachers HATED it because they thought i wasnt paying attention 🙄

[@ladydevildog8946]

Same! I have to doodle to hear and retain... I also doodled when I went into computer programming. It was how I could think.

[@brontesaurusrex7235]

As an autistic person and as a teacher, I'm trying so hard to get other educators to understand that no, restraint collapse actually IS something we need to be addressing at school because it means the kid is actually not "doing just fine" at school

[@mgracie8129]

This!

[@aazhie]

I really hope more people understand this for future generations

[@damien678]

I both was (and probably still am) shit at masking and somehow still had this 😂

[@IshtarNike]

To be honest it seems like this is one of those things that is fundamentally at odds with the entire school system as it is currently structured. I think we're going to have to get more radical if we want to address this stuff because restraint kind of just IS necessary in the current system based on how big classes are and how strictly students have to progress through the "years" of content. Until we change stuff like that I really don't see how we'll be able to address stuff like this.

[@coda3223]

@@IshtarNike As a former educator who has worked with and taught middle school through college, I agree that the fundamental structural design of most academic systems exists in opposition to what we know about learning and how to best support it. Big systemic changes are needed to address the underlying issues... and it's unlikely to happen without society also making big systemic changes as well.

[@ab6525]

My entire life, no matter how hard I try to change it, I dont get sleepy until 2am and im not fully awake until 10am. Did not realize that this might be an adhd thing. Actually explains a lot 😂

[@bottomofastairwell]

Right? I have ALWAYS been a night person. I've often described it as being on Australian time, except I live in the US. And it's SO severe for me that I just began working overnights, that way I could operate on the schedule that my body naturally WANTED to be on. But I had no idea it was an ND thing. Holy crap, that explains so much

[@darkstarr984]

That’s my most natural sleeping time. It’s been that way since I was a little kid and it takes constant, severe, sustained effort to have even a slightly different schedule.

[@michellerhodes5477]

I'm definitely the same way and have been my entire life. I work a desk job at home M-Th from 7am to 5:30PM. It's so hard to go to bed at a reasonable time so I usually don't. Then I'm tired all day. I just feel like I get my 2nd wind around 9pm and then I'm not tired until at least after midnight. And that's if I remember to take my trazadone. At least I know it's not just me and it's not because I'm bad at life.

[@ArtistCreek]

SAME.

[@tanchella]

It's a torture for me to wake up in the morning, people just don't underdtand and keep giving useless advice like "go to bed earlier". How do I do that? My body does not work that way.

[@cathyb214]

ADHD therapist here. I took a training called something like “being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world” which really helped tease out the apparent conflict between alleviating the “symptoms” of neurodivergence and recognizing that our brains aren’t broken and don’t need fixing - it’s just hard for us to function in systems that expect neurotypical behavior and punish anything different. I think it’s useful to examine the language we use around symptoms vs criteria and consider how medicalized language can feel invalidating. Really glad more clinicians are sharing this info from a place of lived experience and empathy instead of just treatment for a disorder

[@dragonstooth4223]

yes I think we need to think about how we label ourselves. I've had many an argument about the disability label. I don't view myself as having a disability because I think that implies something is wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me. I just think differently due to genetics. To say something is wrong with ADHD thinking is like saying blonde hair or brown eyes are wrong. ADHD is just a different genetic expression of how our brains work and there's nothing wrong with that.

[@GreenGorgeousness]

​@@dragonstooth4223i consider myself as disabled because I struggle to do what I want to do even when allowed complete freedom and to mold my environment to my needs. Even when I'm in complete control and not in a neurotypical world, I struggle. My disability is not social. It's innate to my loved experience.

[@dragonstooth4223]

@@GreenGorgeousness personally I think the word disability holds us back. Its a mentality we can get comfortable in because it invokes a specific reaction in others. I just want to be treated like a person and some things I find more challenging than others. We all have something we find challenging, even NTs. We might just have a few more challenges. To me, labeling them as disabilities is like throwing up your hands and just accepting that's all it will ever be. I've learned a lot of what would be labelled as a disability by others is actually my greatest strengths. I've also learned to work with my so called disabilities rather than against them. its the mentality of forever seeing yourself as broken beyond repair versus I might have extra challenges in life but they won't stop me. Not everyone is good at sports, not everyone is a maths genuis, not everyone is tall or short ... none of that holds back NTs. Why think anything that is your ADHD holds you back? (coming from an ND with mouth filter issues, time management issues, executive function issues, social issues and a whole host of sensory issues ... who is an engineer with two degrees, a family with a kid, a mortgage and no debt ... it can be done)

[@VanessaMarieBooks]

@@dragonstooth4223 I view disability differently but that's probably because I also have a physical disability and use a wheelchair. So for me, I have no problem using the word disability because there are a lot of things I physically can't do on my own, I don't have the ability to do them, hence disability. But when it comes to my ADHD, as much as I struggle with it at times, I've never viewed it as a disability. Though I know others who struggle with theirs much more than I do and whatever label they want to use for them is fine.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

@@dragonstooth4223 The word disability does not mean there is something wrong with anyone. The word disability mostly describes how much trouble you have functioning in a society that does not accommodate you. Someone in a wheelchair has way more trouble functioning because there aren't enough easily accessible ramps available. Not because they are in a wheelchair, the wheelchair helps them get around. Several people with a variety of disabilities have zero trouble functioning at home, because their home has all the things they need to function. The rest of world has nothing for them, so they can't function as well.

[@MarikoAkera]

As the video is 3 months old, you might not read this comment anymore, but I am so happy you do speak 'fast' as this is the tempo I have myself (and faster!). It was so great having a video at my speed! Loved it

[@kylienychole7678]

I'm going for my ADHD evaluation on Tuesday. I JUST found out about the daytime sleepiness yesterday, after researching ADHD for YEARS. When I tell you I was shocked to find out so many others struggle with excessive daytime sleepiness. I seriously thought it was just a me thing.

[@toolgirl30]

I'm getting tested in 2 weeks and right!! I'm so sick of sleeping during the day!

[@l_tmszk]

It is same for me, I'm sleepy till 7pm and then when it is bedtime I cant even close my eyes and shut my brain. I tried to stop drinking coffe but it got even worse. I also tried not to force to sleep and got up all night, but it didn't make me sleepy next night :/

[@ToT-w6i]

My whole life I have said I am naturally nocturnal having no clue this was due to ADHD.

[@arecestravi]

Not me liking this comment after a midday nap 😂

[@loriennyanzi1290]

I used to take naps in the afternoon. I still do when I can. The joy of being self-employed.

[@aDoodleBee]

The bit about parents asking "if you're so good at school then why aren't you good for me?" made me shout and pause the video to process. I was diagnosed a year and a half ago at age 28 and now I have another thing about my childhood to unpack.

[@Alyx-xo1wg]

the speech disorder is one of the most frustrating for me. i tend to pause alot while talking because i have a ton of trouble figuring out the right words for what i want to say, and nobody has the patience to wait for me to finish what im saying. and then when i notice it happening i get embarrassed and start panicking which makes talking even harder, and in rare instances impossible for me. even my closest friends will get impatient and stop listening when this happens, and it feels very isolating

[@Star-333]

I can relate so much to what you just said.

[@quixotichippie]

hi, are you me? 😭

[@FacesByChelseaK]

All of this. Yes. 💜

[@quryil]

That's why I always feel unheard/misunderstood, like when the conversation shifts by the time I get my thoughts together to try to chime in

[@AnnNunnally]

I do this too! I am actually a speech therapist and I often forget what I was going to say because my mind has gone on to another topic. My son or husband will have to remind me to finish the sentence. There really is no speech therapy for this issue. It is actually more of a working memory and attention issue.

[@itsonlyatail]

I never knew what was wrong with me my whole life…I had trouble with life , at 63 I get a different psychiatrist, and right a way he asked how was my ADHD being treated? I went silent…and this awesome doctor walked me through this journey and prescribed me medication and my life slowly changed. I was devastated that my whole life could have been so much different if i would been diagnosed. Back in the 60’s they were barely diagnosing boys!

[@Alan_Duval]

Not wrong, just different 😉

[@itsonlyatail]

@@Alan_Duval it feels wrong stating at 68

[@Alan_Duval]

@@itsonlyatail I sort of understand. I started at 48 (three years ago).

[@itsonlyatail]

Where do you find friends, I’ve been caring for family constantly since 2016. I don’t want pity, I did what I felt was right, but it’s over and I stay home all the time, the people I did know, I feel bad because they got a over active version. I’m just given up

[@sonyareyes1000]

I won't get it because of past usage of similar substance. Idk what to do...

[@jilldover2554]

I’ve lived my whole life feeling guilty because I was always so tired, except at night when I was awake because that was “me” time. The line …Interest based nervous system… has done more in 5 seconds to alleviate a life time of guilt, than anything else I have ever tried. Thank you!

[@via8345]

I gasped when she talked about people trying to give you verbal instructions and directions

[@sonyareyes1000]

Describes me...

[@willaknotts1298]

​. We are never alone! ❤ lol.

[@melanierose6599]

I work IT customer service, I cannot understand people when they try to explain their problem. I have to remote into their computer to visually see what’s going on.

[@hollyp.8849]

These are all things that I’ve struggled with my whole life. As children, we often absorb a lot of shame for these behaviors - we don’t know why we’re sensitive to noise, or why we shut down after school. It’s healing as an adult to know that it wasn’t because you were a “bad kid” that you did these things - you’re just different and have different needs than a neurotypical person.

[@kristinab8326]

ADHD is rough, and at age 37, I am just starting to learn to speak up for my specific needs and not to be ashamed. I have tried to be “normal” for most of my life and it did not work out well for me at all! I appreciate these videos so much. I literally had no idea why I was so sensitive to sounds, why my memory shuts off, and why I can’t get the right words out of my brain sometimes. This is so helpful! I am excited to learn more and embrace my specific needs and learn what I need to be my best self 😊

[@l-chlorine7919]

I don’t think I have ADHD, but I’ve always had a sensory processing disorder. And even that on its own can be so debilitating. I never forgot being chased around and sent to the “principal” at my preschool because my sensory meltdowns interfered with my wearing clothes and shoes properly. Now it’s mostly auditory - I’m afraid of seeming rude when I just can’t be around people or can’t process what someone is saying because of background noise. Sometimes I go into a panic and have to just cover my ears with my hands as a full grown adult. Sometimes my clothes are too itchy and I’m exhausted and I just want to melt away at work. I’m so glad I can actually make it through each day and collapse when I get home. To have sensory differences and executive dysfunction sounds incredibly challenging Edit: oops I found out I do have ADHD

[@someonesomewhere9115]

I could be pretty fresh to my parents after school. They always asked why I was so polite to other adults but rude to them, and never stopped to consider that they were also yelling/taking rude tones with me that they would never use to anyone else. They seriously expected a known AuDHD CHILD to have more self-control in that situation than they did as adults.

[@Fabian6980]

I have adhd but whats interesting is I don't have any sensory issues or overload whatsoever like loud noises dont freak me out or i dont overeact or become heavily affected by humiliation or criticism or rejection i might get annoyed or angry. or dissapointed when rejected but its short lived i move on like its nothing i realise its not a me problem its the other persons problem and continue. It makes me wonder if I have psychopathy aswell since both conditions go hand in hand together but i do tend to overthink for a long time about situations where I did not give any closure to that's adhd trait but I have no intentions in giving closure ever that's psychopathic I also don't have any suicide thoughts nor desires to commit suicide also psychopathic

[@chris...9497]

I really don't know if I shut down after school. I was a latchkey kid and not allowed to either leave the yard or let other kids come to my house or yard. I basically had hours every day to myself, so likely I could 'decompress' at my own rate and leisure with no one to observe or find fault. I can only guess at this, though. I will say, I enjoy solitude. I'm retired now, but when I was working, I liked to take several hours in the morning to work up to going into the job. I always tried to live within walking distance to work, so a good 2 to 2-1/2 hours in the morning for a gentle restart was perfect. Even if I couldn't sleep the night before or my sleep was cut short.

[@neurotika]

I couldn’t have balloons at my party. I would get irritable and overwhelmed. Getting diagnosed when you’re are a grown adult is almost a religious experience. It becomes such a revelation for unpacking your life and the things you’ve never been able to completely compensate for.

[@Rain_Reign]

A religious experience!! Yes!! I was diagnosed only a few weeks ago at age 43 and it’s been 🤯🤯🤯

[@thais_cdm]

I was *scared* of balloons as a kid. There was a common tradition growing up where all the kids would pop every balloon at the end of the party, and I would beg my mom to leave early so I didn't have to be around it.

[@ronylev-ari3219]

@@thais_cdmwe had the same terrible tradition in kindergarten! I have a clear memory of myself at my birthday throwing needles at the balloon from a distance with one hand while plugging my ear with the other hand. After a few attempts my teacher popped it for me 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@sierrarmcclain]

I wish I could get tested. My med provider is acting like you have to be a billionaire in order to be tested. I don’t get it.

[@hyperfocused7029]

I was scared of balloons popping as a kid, and still don’t like it. I was also creeped out when a helium filled one started sinking and getting wrinkly.

[@causticpax]

I am a teacher and I had been researching ADHD to help my students when I discovered I fit in the neurodiverse population but had been masking my whole life. Diagnosed and trying to help my students still. Want to have knitting or crochet in class? Fine, I do the same during staff meetings. I still come home and cocoon because I have masked so much but at least my students have freedom in my classroom.

[@oDeepBlueSea]

thank you for this, honestly. i am going through my second job education at the moment and i cannot tell you, how much more alert i am during class because i can knit, crochet, or journal. in 'school' school i got fucked over for reading under the desk when i was finished with a task or similar things, and i know now that my freedom is resting on my good grades, but openly allowing ways to have an activity to play pingpong with my brain would be wonderful. keep being compassionate with your students and i think you will impact many lives for the better :)

[@dragonstooth4223]

I told one of my seniors the other day at work about my ADHD (I'm trying to be more open about it) and he came out and said he thinks he's ADHD too. Its amazing how many people are around us struggling with hiding who they really are because of having to mask to fit in. I dream of a world where I don't have to mask at all. That my weirdness is embraced and celebrated. one day ...

[@hoorayitsjackie6166]

I wish I had a teacher like this just once. Thank you on behalf of the kiddos who need it.

[@heyna1185]

I‘m so happy for your students. You’re the best type of teacher! 💙

[@coda3223]

Just like, as an FYI... and I understand that you probably got the terms confused (it's easy to do), but everyone fits in the neurodiverse population. That's what neurodiversity is: a plethora of different bodyminds (including neurotypicals). I think maybe you meant to say "neurodivergent population"? Also: a huge portion, if not most, people fit within the neurodivergent population (which includes Tourette's, PTSD, TBI, Bipolar, Borderline, NPD, Epilepsy, Parkinson's... *everything* brain/nerve-related that's not considered "normal"). Glad to see you going above and beyond in supporting your students! Way to go!

[@lurklingX]

14:43 FINALLY the *'falling asleep when bored'* gets a mention!!! boring and non-participating meetings knock me OUT! and long drives.

[@stacylindsey9238]

But then I can’t sleep at night 😢

[@joamethyst23]

Thank you for this! I literally went down the rabbit hole to search about myself every topic you brought up in this video. I knew in my heart it all tied together, but I had trouble finding the info to support. The biggest one for me is the daytime sleepiness. When I started taking Adderall at the age of 39, I was shocked at the difference it made. I was researching narcolepsy and all sorts of other sleep disorders to explain why I was so tired and have been tired my entire flipping life. The way you described this was spot on. I'm also in a workplace that shames me because my schedule is different than theirs. Yet, I'm hired to be a creative and they rely on the way my brain works. However, I have no problem being the squeaky wheel and speaking up for myself. Ever since my adult diagnosis, I've been able to approach my needs head on, and make sure there is an effort on their part to accommodate. Doesn't stop office gossip though! 😢

[@alysonburch]

I'm watching this, crying, because I've struggled with a ton of undiagnosed ADHD symptoms my entire life. I still don't have a formal diagnosis. It is still difficult to find doctors who take this seriously- especially if you're good at masking. I function, but I am miserable.

[@3CarnivoreHousehold]

Tell the doctor your therapist thinks you have ADHD

[@3CarnivoreHousehold]

Maybe you have one, maybe you don’t - they are not going to check.

[@ninairish763]

I hear ya same boat. I get very irritated trying to explain it to people who don’t get it.

[@Nicia_Navarro]

doctors have to be very careful about diagnostics unfortunately. either they don't take you seriously, or they don't want to risk getting their license revoked if they're questioned on their diagnosis and you happen to have great grades for example, it's on them to justify their reasoning and if they can't give a good reason, it falls on them and risks their livelihood. mental health care is also so expensive, and I used to be so against self-diagnosis until I realized how difficult it is to get a formal diagnosis. you are so valid and I see you. wishing you the best 💜

[@deannawebster6294]

I hear you, I'm so sorry, and I hope you can find help getting a formal diagnosis. Please DM me if you'd be interested in brainstorming on that subject- in the meantime, I want to let you know there's a KZbin channel called How to ADHD that changed my life even before I got my diagnosis- so much great information, connecting you to research and resources like helpful apps etc and just community around living with things like time-blindness, disorganization struggles etc. Wishing you the best! You CAN learn how to best manage your symptom set with help!

[@lellow19]

OMG the sleep one. My mother hated that I "slept in late" and stayed up late. I just can't get my brain to shut off before at least 1 am. I hate that it's considered a "disorder" though 😒

[@blkswansec]

My mom did too which really frustrates me now especially since I didn't discover my ADHDness until I became an adult. I really got frustrated once I figured out she either had ADHD &/or autism because it would have explained SO much about her behaviours.

[@willowtabby4926]

I also hate that it's considered a "disorder". It sucks that society often doesn't work easily for us 😥

[@sweethearteu]

Mine too. Except I only sleep after 5am. Your body clock is what it is🙏🇬🇧

[@meinennamensagichnet]

I am 100% sure this is a survival mechanism from early societies to have some nightshift watch outs that actually are alert. A helpfull divergency that made us all survive but now gets punished.

[@thesincitymama]

I’ve always thought that it’s logically natural for a group of humans, that some would sleep early and some would sleep late. Then, the group would have some alert members at all times, to protect from predators. Only with modern systems of economic production, humans have been creating rigid systems to dictate sleep times and wake times. I blame the corporate overlords who deprive me of my natural sleep cycle.

[@elisemayesem]

I think a really big misconception about adhd is that we have a deficit of attention or short attention span when really it's an inability to control our attention. Like i can hyperfocus when im off my meds i just dont choose what that focus is aimed towards. And that focus is based on how much dopamine the activity provides, more dopamine = more attention. Edit: just got to the part where you talk about this lol

[@lurklingX]

yeah it is NOT common to even hear therps and psychs talk about attention and hyperfixation just maybe not on the tasks we are supposed to be doing. if it is boring, i struggle STRUGGLE even in the first 30s, like my brain is about to implode. keeping on it for HOURS is excruciating, and my mind zings in a thousand different places, probably in a desperate search for dopamine and to keep me from flatlining.

[@deliobaoduzzi6450]

What do you hyperfocus on ?

[@lissalaliberte65]

"If you take on people's accents when you're around them too long." THAT is me, and explains why my accent when speaking French and Spanish far exceed my actual fluency in either.

[@Dayholly86]

The accent thing could explain Kamala.

[@annabauer5889]

Me too! After living 6 months in a Spanish speaking country, people thought I was a native. Same when I lived in the UK, after a couple of weeks I got a posh British accent.

[@aiiiia9971]

My dad does this

[@tmompeller111]

As a neurodivergent person, you speaking is like music. Your flow is so satisfying . ❤

[@MoteOfDust430]

Thank you for this. I realized I am neurodivergent 6 months before my 71st birthday. So much makes so much more sense. I have had to cut myself off from all my family in order to begin to heal. But I am hopeful, independent and learning to love myself despite being so annoying for 70 years. Not masking is terrifying but so much less exhausting.

[@clarewillison9379]

62 and you just answered my question of “is it worth getting a dx at this age?”, so thank you and I’m sorry about your family. Hope you have or can find friends who understand you, who appreciate your unique gifts, and who you can just have fun with. Wishing you well x

[@MoteOfDust430]

💕@@clarewillison9379

[@michellescanlon990]

I’m so sorry it took 70 years for you to understand yourself! I got diagnosed at 50 late diagnosis is a gift but can come with grief also, your a warrior, unmask like a king you deserve it and owe it to yourself, sending love ❤️

[@jeffreybollman6186]

Me at age 68 ... getting worse after retirement ...

[@susancolman7911]

At 73 for me Same thing Not seeing family

[@Redheadedmoxy]

You’re the first person in a long time I haven’t had to use the 1.5X or 2X speed! That’s funny how much faster our brains are with certain things. I can’t believe people complain about you talking to fast! That’s hilarious to me! Great video!

[@lurklingX]

ha haaaaa i was doing this with a work training. it's boring and. so the fast speed makes me stay awake - challenge is to catch everything at the fastest speed possible. THEN i hit another module, 2 HOURS long, the longest one, and they removed the option. i was enraged. everything was like a tar pit, so slow after that. plus it meant i couldn't shave time off of the task.

[@alexzandriagoeckner7392]

I love how fast she talks! I kept up perfectly. I didn’t even think about the pace until she brought it up and then I was like, shit I guess she is talking kinda fast huh. If my brain had its own mouth that’s how fast it would talk all the time! 😂

[@rebeccamay6420]

"Wow, she talks really fast ... in comparison to other therapy KZbin people. Maybe I can pay attention to this video." (Mind wanders off anyways, even if only briefly.) 😅 You may enjoy listening to Dan of The Aspie World -- He has ADHD, Aspergers/Autism, Dyslexia, and OCD. He talks super fast, so a seven minute video feels like 15 minutes of information.

[@indigoblue4791]

Oh yes, I absolutely can't keep up. The words are flowing into one another. Super fast for me. I don't have the amount of energy required to listen at that speed. It not a criticism of the speaker, it's an observation of myself.

[@MsDarylM]

I can’t concentrate on slow talkers!

[@malifex9922]

Justice Sensitivity is one of the more obscure ways my ADHD has manifested. Being very keen to pick up on hypocrisy and easily upset at being misrepresented.

[@paulstejskal]

That sounds like Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria honestly. It's slightly different but it sounds like it's the same thing. RSD+empathy?

[@malifex9922]

@@paulstejskal It very well could be! The terminology certainly fits how it feels.

[@amyoneelse]

Can you please help me understand what that looks like for you. Here for my daughter and educating myself from people who live it. Thanks 🙏

[@malifex9922]

@@amyoneelse Essentially, when something "unfair" happens, or there's some form of rejection that would be considered serious (ex: losing a best friend, being cast out by a group of people, reputation being maligned, being assigned labels that are negative that may be unfair), it doesn't just bother me like it would bother most people. It causes an increasingly debilitating mental spiral that lowers productivity greatly (constantly thinking about the injustice, considering ways to either repair things, get justice, or get revenge). Usually, because the triggers are not easily solved, it becomes easier to create a victim mentality which either causes self-superiority (ex: those people are completely wrong and they deserve to be canceled for what they did) or self-sabotage (ex: they're right, I am a terrible person and don't deserve success).

[@rebeccawiggins2799]

​@malifex9922 this sounds just like me. 😭

[@Lilly.Bug.]

I got the lucky lottery ticket where I exhibit literally every single ADHD symptom to an extreme degree 🫠 every time I learn about new symptoms and see how they're reflected in my life, it's very validating but always kind of feels like, come on, at what point will I find a symptom that I don't have 😅

[@ruakasumiturner6021]

Me too! Even the empathy for you I’m experiencing right now is extreme 😁

[@LuckyPigeon1111]

At least you get taken seriously. You are lucky!

[@laurenmay2098]

I am finding something out almost every week through videos. It is helpful. But the doctors are saying it is my hormones 😂😂😂😂. It is hilarious.

[@TheOnlyAlexandra]

In the same boat. People just don't get it. I don't say anything anymore. I can't keep up with most people.

[@jjteacher7482]

The latest diagnosis from the psychiatrist is high functioning autistic. 😮 I think I'll just refer him to this video. 😂

[@madibobadi9222]

Ugh it was so hard not to cry even just starting at the intro with your teaser of the later topics. It feels like I’ve been told my whole life that my behavior wouldn’t fly in high school, wouldn’t fly in college, I’d never be able to keep a job unless I fixed my problems, etc. This whole video was really relatable but the moment you actually got to the topic of sleep, I knew I was in for the real emotional kicker. It feels like I’ve spent so much time being told I’d never hold a job and just being expected to fix it, and hardly any help figuring out why that might be (with any of my neurodivergent traits), or how to actually help/fix the problems themselves. I really feel sometimes like my sleep issues have ruined my life. I am now diagnosed with adhd and ASD, but it’s so painful and lonely realizing just how much this modern world was not built *for* us, but for us to fit into.

[@caracalfashions6435]

OH MY GOODNESS! I'm 58, got diagnosed with AHDH around 43, and after years and years of research, going down rabbit holes on Google, you have just answered 2 questions. 1st one is my speech. I can't explain things, I don't speak fluently, I lose words, and my brain can't keep up with my thoughts. I find it hard to make friends because people think I'm backwards. I avoid confrontations because I'm the easiest person in the world to win an argument with, whether I'm right or wrong. When I try and stick up for myself I look like a fool and get laughed at. I've researched so many speech problems and haven't been able to find one that I could say "aha that's me", until now. The second is my insomnia. I toss and turn every night for hours. I've tried KZbin sleep hypnosis, melatonin etc. but just can't fall asleep. However I have no problem whatsoever falling straight to sleep in the morning after I have gotten my son ready to school, made his lunch and walked the dog. My head hits the pillow and I'm out. I feel so guilty and have tried to force myself to stay awake, and as tired as I get, I still can't fall asleep at night. Thank you so much for giving me answers.

[@suzilindblad5207]

Oh my gosh! You are my person! You described what i go through to a tee, right down to getting my son off to school and going back to bed! P.s. I will also be 58 in November.

[@Lauren-w3c]

Yes I also have trouble explaining things. I sound like an idiot, stupid. I can't get my thoughts together and my words. Lol I also have trouble falling asleep alot of the time. It's a problem.

[@suzilindblad5207]

@@Lauren-w3c same here. It's so frustrating.

[@beezwacks]

attention hyperactive deficit hyperactive

[@kristyjnh]

I've always had trouble falling asleep in a reasonable amount of time. I tried all the "natural" methods - no blue light an hour before bed, doing calming things like meditating or reading (problem with reading is it's either too boring to hold my interest or too interesting and I end up staying up all night reading), sleep sounds, pitch black room, melatonin, bedtime tea, the gamut of options. It would still take me 1-3 hours to fall asleep once I clicked the light off to sleep. But then in the morning I can wake up and just immediately go back to sleep over and over again for hours! It's addicting sleeping in because it's so easy. I was at the point where I was taking unisom every night, but my pharmacist said it contributes to dry mouth (and I was getting the Adderall dry mouth too) so he recommended Magnesium Citrate. It's a powder you mix into water. It does actually seem to help. It doesn't knock me out or make me sleepy, instead it kinda... Turns down the static volume I have in my head all the time which does help me fall asleep faster. Not a miracle worker, but pretty good.

[@NightlyMakesArt]

I haven't been diagnosed or anything, but the "falling asleep during something boring"... I used to draw in class and still got amazing grades. If a teacher told me to stop, I wouldn't, and they would let me continue because I got good grades, so clearly it wasn't affecting me (and maybe!? Helping me!?) I know a lot of people who got in trouble for that, so I'm glad I got lucky with cool and understanding teachers. Even in my adult life, I've moved to Germany and had to take to German classes, and I'm still drawing during those. It helps keep me grounded and to stop from daydreaming.

[@unclemick-synths]

Drawing and/or doodling are underrated as focus aids.

[@melissawentlandmoreno4559]

I think science shows the drawing will improve processing and memory. It is not distraction. My notes have doodles

[@janetmcneice6246]

Me the same, drawing in class whilst I was thinking n teacher talking, a lot of the time, on my hand n arm, I do the same at home too

[@katarinasydney7231]

Same. I'd draw very detailed tiny things. Another student got in trouble for drawing and said well she can. He addressed me asking what he said. I looked up and repeated everything verbatim. He asked her if she could do that. She said no. He said thats why she can. Drawing helps a lot with the concentration. Glad you had cool teachers as well.

[@w8what575]

When I was in college, I would doodle while the lecture was being given…I apparently pissed my instructor off with how I am …her assuming I wasn’t paying attention….in front of the entire class she started talking mad crap about those students nobody likes and are a waste of everyone’s time….I continued to doodle because I had to in order to let my brain continue to absorb what she was saying but since I didn’t make eye contact I wasn’t paying attention and being disrespectful…lol…I said nothing until our grade came back and I had a 100% and finished the exam over her lecture first out of 20 some odd students…as I was leaving class passing her desk, I smiled and said guess I really was paying attention wasn’t I and I don’t care if “nobody likes me” cuz I don’t like them either but for good reasons unlike theirs and left…she realized early on that I’m not like the rest of the students cuz I still hold some of the highest scores even today my scores haven’t been beat at the college in my town…and they all assumed I was stupid 😂

[@thehighpriestess8431]

My father used to tell me that I was too immature and that nobody was going to marry me because I lived in a Hello Kitty world. I was diagnosed with ADHD by my psychiatrist at age 46. Fast forward 8 years and only now I am learning more about ADHD. This video is pure gold.

[@randomperson6433]

A month later…. I’m a 43 year old grown woman with ASD and a squishmallow collection that rivals an 8 year old’s. You can exist in a Hello Kitty world and I can exist in my squishmallow palace. Ain’t a damn thing wrong ❤

[@rebeccawiggins2799]

My dad was the same way.

[@MilkTeaASMR]

I don’t know if i have ADHD (though i suspect it), i just wanna say that i wanna live in a Hello Kitty world! I’ve been to Puroland theme park in Japan and it’s pretty magical. 🐱

[@LuckyPigeon1111]

L dad

[@anthill1510]

Nobody is going to marry me? The horror! That was my only goal in life, let me get rid of everything that points to my personality ...

[@abby-xo7kf]

The hardest part is feeling so so misunderstood. Even the way I talk sometimes people think it’s rude or sarcastic etc, but it’s not meant that way.

[@eissimare]

Working memory is personal hell. I loathe having the boardgame explanation moments because I'm so aware of how badly my brain checks out

[@snazzyshoes1911]

If I’m hanging out with friends and they want to play a game that they try to read me instructions for (usually reading too fast and with lots of mumbling because THEY already know how to play), I always end up telling them I’ll watch them play a round first because if they read the instructions aloud it’s useless and just frustrates and embarrasses me. And I feel too much pressure to learn fast if I read them myself. I love playing games like Apples to Apples and What Do You Meme because the rules are essentially the same for all of that kind of game.

[@actingqween]

When I worked retail, I had a hard time with neurotypicals, who wanted to be promoted but weren't good leaders, who didn't realize that interrupting me from my work really throws me off on staying focused and on task. Fortunately, I had a supervisor who had ND kids, and when I finally clearly stated my issues and what I needed, in order to be successful, she supported me, and I was the best member of the team. I just needed to be in a reasonable setting, for what works for me. I went from constantly failing to being on top of my game almost instantly because I was dealing with someone who understood ADHD, anxiety, etc. who got that I had some measure of coping skills.

[@ashentheforce]

I tried working in a corporate setting and lasted 3 years. This was before I was diagnosed. I was criticized for my behaviors and got no real recognition for the work I did. My replacement came in with less experience than myself and was trained by me to do what took me 3 years to develop. In the end they forced me to leave because I was taking too long to find another job. I ended up back working with my father. They actually tried to have me come in as a consultant for the work I used to do because no one could do what I had been doing for them. I declined because I needed to focus on the job with my father. Now I own my father's company and I work with people who do not have a problem with my behaviors and appreciate the work I do.

[@SavageMinnow]

There is also a sleep-phase shift the other way for some people. I was misdiagnosed for quite a while, and part of it was that no one thought i could be neurodivergent if i cane wake up at 6:00 every morning without an alarm clock. It also caused me to miss out on a lot of social activities because i was just too tired, and people pegged me as being "too uptight" and "unsocial" because i was tired and needed to be IN BED at 10pm

[@anainesgonzalez8868]

I am like you. I wake up between 5 and 6 just naturally and at 10pm I drop dead. People also hate that I am too tired at night 😢

[@amandamandamands]

I feel you, if I have slept in I wake up at 6:30. I can easily wake up at 4am and get the things done and then be exhausted at 9am because I haven't stopped. For me a late night is going to bed later than 9:30pm. I guess that I am lucky that I haven't ever liked drinking/clubbing etc.

[@HobbitBroad]

One of my sons is exactly like that. But he also told me that he didn't think he ever got any real sleep either.

[@unclemick-synths]

I shifted to this through my fifties. I used to be able to go to bed at 4 a.m. and then sleep for 7 hours. Now I wake at 5 a.m. regardless and can get myself to "sleep-in" till about 6:30 a.m. so that means I've had to learn to get myself to bed by 11 p.m.

[@SavageMinnow]

@@HobbitBroad it can be tricky if other people are up and about in the house. I learned to sleep with a radio on because my brothers (and later, my partner) keep me up if I have silence. Eye shades can also help in the summer then people are really active in the evenings outside of the window and stuff. I know some people who wear ear plugs but my neurodivergent ass can't deal with that.

[@KristinHeitkamp-bi8dr]

You’re not alone with your adhd speech I talk fast and when I get excited especially over excited it can be extremely fast

[@IntheMOMENT22173]

I love all the cool stuff you have on the walls in the background. I would probably spend like 10 hours looking at everything if I was over there. Thanks for the great info. I wasn't diagnosed but my therapist suspects I have it.

[@allieoop7024]

The best way I’ve heard someone explain working memory for people with ADHD is as follows: everyone has a chalkboard in their head, and when they’re working on something they are taking notes on that board. But my handwriting (as someone with ADHD) is bigger than most people’s, so I have to erase information from my chalkboard more often to continue taking notes.

[@NadiraJamal]

I love this! (And I obsessively take actual notes constantly to try to manage my working memory… Besides not forgetting things, it helps me stay present in a conversation or meeting when I don’t have to worry about what I’m forgetting.)

[@lilme7052]

Mines like I spend so long writing the first few letters I cant fit the rest on there. If that makes sense?

[@ashentheforce]

I write the first word hear and then fuss at what it looks like so much that I miss everything else that was said.

[@Kimzworld1]

I wanted to share this story about my autistic Granddaughter, in hopes that it can help some others, I know this is about ADHD but I even feel it helps for that as well. A couple years ago, I realized that some pretty horrible things were happening in our world. I started doing a lot of research & I came across some pretty horrific things happening,( especially to children ) I started putting on the 432 MHz music to keep me grounded and little did I know that particular number had a profound effect on my GD. One day while I was researching, she was playing in my room and came out into the living room stimming... When she hit the living room (which could have started sooner but that is when I could see her of course) I watched her go into almost a forced slow-motion stim and then just like that she stopped and sat down ( this was probably less than a min or 2) on the couch soon after she was fast asleep. Although I had no idea it was the music I did take a mental note of what was going on around us at the time. The next week when she was visiting again she started to stim & the thought of the last time she was stimming by me came into my mind it was like the music, I turned the 432 MHz music back on & instantly she stopped stimming, and went back to my room to play. After several more times testing this and also putting it on at bedtime for her ( helps her sleep so much better) I have come to the conclusion that it IS the 432mhz music that IS calming her. We tried the other numbers they don't do the same thing for her. She now will put that music on herself when it's time for bed & tells me it does make her feel better. She is aware that she is on the spectrum she also has ADHD along with audio-sensory issues. I am aware that everyone reacts differently to things but if this can help just 1 other person It was worth my time to try to get it out in written form ( which I suck at!)

[@scottfw7169]

Written form did pretty well here!

[@daisy1022]

Thank you. You might be the missing puzzle piece. Thank you for sharing. P, s you did a fine job of writing all that.❤

[@ScorpionMaiden75]

Thank you 💕 I can use all the help I can get to sleep better. 💜💕🦋🔥👑🔥🦋💕💜

[@Greg-om2hb]

Do you mean 432 KHz?

[@veravegas777]

This explains why music and art and bright colors have always been a part of my world! I find it all so beautiful and peaceful! Keeps my attention and calms me down! Just the other day at work we had a thief I had to chase out the store! He had my adrenaline pumping! Just ringing up customers (I’m a retail cashier) and giving my best customer service wasn’t helping me calm down! I found a sewing measuring tape that had split open and fallen apart into piece, and decided to fix it! Two sproings and 2 hours later I had finally fixed it! I was so proud of myself for completing a difficult task! I also noticed that I had calmed down a whole lot! These are my stimming moments! I always have to be doing something to keep from getting bored or getting overstimulated throughout the day! And I also I have to snack on something at work! 😂

[@orangulent]

I want diagnosed until 38. And honestly, it was people talking about it on tiktok that finally made me think, "huh, maybe I should ask my doctor about this". I did, and her reaction was basically, "oh honey, and you're just now bringing this up?". She got me a psych referral and 20min later she was prescribing me meds to help. In her notes that I read later, she described me "Aloof.Alert.Anxious" which is my own personal Live Laugh Love now.

[@Dancestar1981]

Diagnosed with dual ASD and combined ADHD age 42

[@FacesByChelseaK]

That last sentence! 😆 I was also diagnosed this year at 38, and it explains a lot.

[@chrischris824]

Similar here. Been thinking about it for years....found old texts and messages where I was talking about it....then I was diagnosed a week before I turned 40

[@sarayates1010]

ALSO diagnosed at age 38.

[@JoRoBoYo]

😂

[@AussieWinter]

I laughed when you said people don't like that you speak too fast - I always watch YT at double speed, yes, even yours! 😂

[@rhiannablumberg4803]

ha! thought I was the only one annoying everyone around me whenever I'm watching YT!!!

[@ellenwalker7892]

😂

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

I suddenly realize talking fast keeps me engaged

[@susiemejia7917]

I love how fast you talk. I love to listen fast.

[@alexandrahill9176]

When you used the calculating tips at a restaurant example it explains SO MUCH why math has always been a struggle for me, even when I had to take basic algebra classes for college. I just got diagnosed by my neuropsychologist a few months ago after suspecting I had ADHD for over a year. Thanks for doing what you do, I've been learning a lot regarding therapy and mental health from you!

[@sophs8548]

You really got me with the vocal stims/mimicking accents. I suspect I have echolalia because whenever I’m watching a show and I hear a word or name that sounds nice I repeat it over and over which tends to annoy people if I’m in company. Sometimes I feel especially embarrassed because I might mimic accents (the way someone says a certain word with a foreign accent, for example) without intending for it to sound offensive, but it comes off as such. I just have a massive interest in languages and linguistics and it’s hard to explain that I just like how the specific word/accent/way the person said it tickles my dopamine receptors without sounding like an ignorant ass. It’s like I have a physical compulsion to repeat the word and if I don’t I get fidgety and anxious.

[@lilme7052]

Same here. The words sound so good you just have to say them yourself!

[@massiahgrom]

That's kind of a super power . I have always been able to understand anybody , no matter how heavy an accent , or verbal challenge. I'm your yang !!

[@jennifermoody6987]

Lol.. I'm actually relieved to know that I'm not the only one who experiences this little quirk.. I am immensely fascinated and obsessed with accents, and I get wayyyy too excited when I meet someone in person that has one.. most of them get a kick outta my excitement, but there have been some who thought I was a mega weirdo.. I have been a natural accent mimic and translator all my life though, so I'm pretty used to people thinking I'm weird, strange or eccentric.. now I just own that it's just a quirky aspect of who I am, and whoever doesn't like it, well that's a personal problem on their end and isn't really something I should concern myself with.. tryna fit into society's expectations of who and how I should be, has only ever caused more problems and struggles for me, so I'm extremely grateful that I was blessed to finally reach a point where I could just allow myself to be who I am authentically, and let go of caring what everyone else thinks or believes about who it is I am supposed to be.. I'm not typical or normal, and that's just a part of what makes me uniquely stand out from the crowd.. why fit in when I was made to stand out?!😊❤😂😇🥰🤗😉💯😜😎🌟🌈

[@nerida3347]

My dad does this (most likely autistic) and it's very overwhelming for me bc of my own autism to deal with the sudden noise, but I do the same now occasionally so I understand it a bit better

[@nonyabidness5708]

Can you FEEL words in your mouth? Like, pronouncing them feels different? Not all words, just certain ones...

[@randiwinks]

Dx with ADHD at age 38. This year I turned 50 and I had some kind of “break” just before my birthday where it seriously, seriously affected both my home and work life negatively (coulda lost both job and marriage) . My husband said it was like I had let go of all my executive function. Now I get it. I understand now what has happened to me. This is sincerely a personal revelation. Thank you! ❤

[@junehodsdon8037]

Menopause can exacerbate it.

[@t.terrell7037]

@@junehodsdon8037absolutely agree…dealing with it now, trying to finally try meds, feeling like my job plus being post menopausal is making things so much worse….

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

A nervous breakdown. Nurture yourself in every way possible.

[@arcticfox4683]

All of these speak to me on such deep level, you explained my struggles so well. Also you don't speak too fast it's just fast enough not to bore me and put me to sleep, and your energy is so bright thank you for the video

[@katywalker1048]

As an adult with ADHD diagnosed early in life but was told that it “wasn’t an excuse” I’m learning to love and acknowledge my diagnosis and want to know how to use fidget toys…

[@kelsiekrueger6292]

Its refreshing how fast you talk! ❤ So many people talk too slowly in their videos and I zone out instantly. You kept my attention this entire 15 minute video🎉

[@reneelibby4885]

some... people... talk...so....so....slowly... and I'm thinking ugharghahhhh!!!! SPIT IT OUT!!! LOL

[@Manticornio]

Saaaaaame! 😅❤

[@smellmych33z]

I've learned to get into action based careers, like working with animals, and bring a whitewater raft guide. Rafting in particular is very stimulating, the river changes everyday, I have to pay attention to my environment and make adjustments based of my guests abilities, on top of trying to chat with them. Outdoor jobs have been life changing for me, and I wanted to share this because there is a community of people who can't handle working a normal 9-5 who have passionately found joy in the outdoor industry. So if moving is your jam, know that you have options.

[@luciatheron1621]

I'd rather not.

[@smellmych33z]

@@luciatheron1621 that's okay, it's not for you :) you can find joy in so many things.

[@stacylindsey9238]

Being a preschool teacher hits the mark 😂

[@krislee7723]

Thank you so much! There so much misinformation out there about ADHD. People question if i have it because on days i'm not medicated and don't keep myself moving I could honestly sleep for about 20 hours no problem. If my brain isn't occupied it just wants to sleep. My sister and I both struggle with most of the stuff you talk about in this video. I have 2 boys, one has inattentive type ADHD and i didn't get him diagnosed as a child because i was always told "but he's such a good boy and so smart, he can't possibly have ADHD" but it was mostly because his interests aligned with school work for the most part, he had no trouble paying attention as he likes to learn. My youngest is combined type and an entirely different story. It has been a struggle to get him the help he needs but since receiving occupational therapy, counselling, and medication the world has become a much nicer place for him! It was in trying to get help for my youngest and reading more and more about ADHD and neurodivergence that myself, my sister, and my oldest son (he is an adult, his brother is only 6) found out that we struggled with all these symptoms our whole lives but they kept being misdiagnosed as anxiety and depression. Getting stimulant medication for myself has helped me be able to live life without the constant frustration, brain fog, low self esteem, and low energy that i struggled with every day. I'm so much more capable now of maintaining my composure, and being a calm and attentive parent. I think a lot of ADHD kids have undiagnosed parents and it makes it so much harder because if the adult isn't able to model emotional regulation, composure, positive habits, and stick To routines, it throws everything else into total chaos which was what we were dealing with for so long. People love to say "ADHD is over-diagnosed" i think if anything it's under diagnosed, especially in older populations. The world wants us to think and act a certain way, and I just don't think it's something that comes natural for a large majority of people. I think it's not neccessarily something that needs to be considered a disorder overall, but in the way our current society functions it is. ☹️. I often feel like in a different time or different type of society, my ADHD would be a positive attribute, whereas in a "sit down (or stand up) and work for 8 hours at one specific task" society it is a negative. I am lucky that the career I now have is a hyperfocus, because when it wasn't, work was a struggle every day.

[@jpullen581]

I normally can't handle listening to people at 1x and I've watched the whole video at 1.5x, so thank you for speaking fast as it helps keep me engaged. If people talk too slow my brain just shuts off the intake valve. It's super exhausting forcing myself to listen to slow people, even if it's stuff I want to learn/know.

[@chelsea5152]

This was by far the BEST ADHD video I've found on KZbin. I am 36, partially diagnosed with ADHD in middle school, never treated due to heavy stigma back then. I just wanted to say thank you for what you do, you're incredible and it makes me so happy to see the stigmas being deconstructed by intelligent and compassionate people such as yourself. Never stop being you and thank you for your videos and I have to say your set is so perfect!

[@BioRose25]

The late sleeping thing is what makes us to very well with shift work. I usually explain it to other people as someone had to watch for night predators. Thank you for all you do to de stigmatize neurodivergence.

[@_Kalakos]

Can confirm. Did 2 years overnight and had no trouble adjusting 😂. It did not help w my mental health though because I basically had no life and my relationships suffered. Recently switched to going in at 5a n i think the meds are helping me waking up because I haven’t struggled like i thought i would have. Got diagnosed 6 months ago, mid 30s.

[@Forgottenworlds777]

I did graveyard shift but post office was a no and not for long but i slept fine in the day until age 26 and now im 45 and wake up hourly but still a total night person. I can not force myself to sleep or sleep early, I just cant if i know I have to get up.

[@markigirl2757]

It took me two Months learning how to sleep before 12 am but I quickly couldn’t keep it up and now my husbands schedule changed back so I will go right back to sleeping issues

[@lindsaywilkinson3682]

Bugger. I'm 47, a consultant Clinical Psychologist and I've only just twigged I most probably have adhd. I got through years of being just fine academically through what I now realise is really useful hyperfocusing and some well learned structural organisational skills. However it explains the complete mess of organisation the rest of my life is, my terrible diary organising, the state of my house, my talking way way too fast and so many other symptoms I just put down to not trying hard enough. I don't think this will probably change too much for me but maybe I can get better at practising what I preach in being kind to myself when I screw up. Thank you - I think until I saw another qualified therapist who is a lot like me in so many ways, I didn't think I could be adhd and manage to qualify and get through my daily working life. Hopefully this will help me be an even better therapist to people. Keep doing what you do and keeping making a difference ❤

[@christine.b.k]

I really really struggle with the bored to sleep issue. I’ll be in meetings and nodding off and then when I try to go to sleep just soon after my brain won’t shut down. It’s such a struggle to try and stay engaged when the topic of the meeting is inherently boring.

[@Forgottenworlds777]

I cant sleep at night but used to fall asleep in math

[@JessicaO490Z]

I unfortunately get a dose of this when I'm commuting for 90 minutes everyday. I'll be so drowsy I'll be hallucinating about my pillow, but the second I get home I'm wide awake and can't go to bed...

[@midnight_yota]

I’ve struggled with this my whole life. My best friend calls me falling asleep is my superpower but to me its also a curse often. Especially in situations like church, class, meetings, work training even. Places where I’m supposed to sit silently and pay attention and absorb information. If im not 100% engaged I start to doze off, even if I just finished one of the XL monsters. People always find it rude or disrespectful (Wihch is understandable) but it’s frustrating for me because I’m genuinely trying to pay attention and I feel like the sleep is happening at me. Then If I try to find something else to do to occupy my mind I get called out for not paying attention fully.

[@thekateress]

Agreed! I’ve found that colouring helps me stay awake and focused on what’s being said. If the person talking can cope with that it works a treat :) invest in a good set of colouring pens though!

[@danikim235]

@@midnight_yota I was regularly falling asleep in lectures, wonder what my professors thought of me... Once I even fell asleep during a test. Woke up some minutes later, finished the test, aced it.

[@herahagstoz6934]

I love how fast you speak. I find that I am more able to hear and understand what is said when people speak fast. It is almost as fast as my mind works linguistically anyway. It makes it harder to understand and restrain myself from finishing the sentence if someone is talking very slowly. It is a bad habit of mine to unintentionally interrupt simply because I want to show them that I understand what they are saying even though I know it can be confusing and frustrating for them. I try to be self aware but sometimes it is impossible. So it is very refreshing to listen to you.

[@lizofallon7532]

Thank you for this information. I'm 64 years and just recently beginning to understand the broad dimension of symptoms of ADHD. I had no idea! The sleeping issues linked to ADHD are news to me, and a relief to learn. I catch a lot of judgement and displeasure from family and friends about my abnormal sleep habits - up late, wake late. It causes me shame. So, thank you for enlightening me.

[@ego789]

I thought - judgement and displeasure from family and friends about "abnormal" sleep habits - up late, wake late - is something very German, or Austrian, in our case where getting up early is a sign of industriousness. If you iron clothes at 4 am, it makes a big difference if you are still up (lazy) or an early bird (laudible) ...

[@exvangelica4271]

As a teacher with ADHD, I assumed that I could easily adapt my classes and expectations to be neurodivergent-friendly. However, it's been painful to see that the things that would have made school easier for me don't necessarily help my students. I also struggle with (what I perceive to be) the impulse control behavior problems. I don't want to constantly be getting the same kids in trouble, but when they can't self-regulate and disrupt class for everyone else or put themselves or others in danger, the only recourse I have is to send them to the office or write a referral. I know one or two kids can't take priority over the rest of the class, but I also want them to have the outlets they need so they don't act out in ways that negatively affect others.

[@IshtarNike]

Yep. Sadly this is an issue with the entire system of school. I don't think we can address these problems with accommodations because they undermine the entire system of discipline and structure required for school to function as it was intended. We've accepted that many institutions weren't designed with neurodiversity in mind. I think we're going to have to take that further and understand that there's only so much you can do to change something that was never intended to accommodate us in the first place. You'll never make a table into a good shovel and vice versa. Not without totally deconstructing it to the point of it not being able to do it's original function anymore. To accommodate all the different needs of neurodivergent kids we have to accept that mainstream school needs to be totally revolutionised from the ground up. I mean so different you wouldn't recognise it as school. Or we need to go back to having separate institutions. There's no inbetween at the moment. Not if we want to continue using the same metrics of success like test scores and graduation rates. All of which are natural products of the current system.

[@djk5v]

Since I’m not familiar with what can be put into place with IEPs in the classroom: is it too disrupting to the classroom to put something into place along the lines of (insert name) can stand up quietly in the back of the classroom within eyesight every x minutes? Because I honestly couldn’t care less if it’s not disrupting if another child asks well why can’t I get that too? It’s an opportunity to say well different people have different needs and focus on what you need to do to be successful in school. I really wish I could advocate for my former self who was put in a box by my school psychologist who didn’t understand why I needed a 504 plan when I was getting straight As, 5th in my class in an IB program my junior year in high school. I had to explain to this incompetent person the price I paid for my good grades.

[@embr9723]

I have this struggle running a business. It’s really weird to be on both sides. Dealing with my own issues makes me try harder to make my workplace more accommodating, but there are limits to how accommodating I can be. One example-The business opens at 9. I have my own problems with mornings, and every damn day I struggle with this so I have a lot of empathy. I have proven a million times over that I am not lazy or unmotivated, so anyone who suggests that is just…nope. I still need my other ND employees to also be on time. When they aren’t it negatively impacts everyone. Or staying on necessary medications…I get all the problems of remembering deadlines, making calls or appointments, ordering and picking up, and then remembering to take them….not doing this severely impacts your ability to function at work. Again, I’m on both sides of the nuance of why it’s so hard. But if someone can’t do their job because they’re not taking their meds, that can’t be a good excuse do not do your job. It’s totally unfair to all the people around you. I struggle as a boss around being empathetic and accommodating while also making sure that people understand that it is a job, and you do have to be able to do the work at the end of the day. These are important conversations, because like you said- what you thought would be helpful to others didn’t work like you thought it would. If someone asks me for an accommodation and I can do it, the no problem. But sometimes accommodations actually can’t be made. Like you can’t ask to come it at 10, because we open at 9. Who is going to cover for you for one hour? Not just once, but for forever…Because that is what you are asking is for someone else to be responsible for your work during that time (while they are also doing their own). I don’t know if that’s the best example, but it’s a real conversation I’ve had. Also, other employees have their own stuff going on. They are often willing to help in a pinch but not endlessly. So on the surface the ask can sound reasonable but you have to consider how it impacts everyone on the team (or class in your case). I’ve felt very challenged to manage my own conditions, be empathetic and accommodating, AND meet the needs of my customers and business. My thoughts on what accommodating means for both parties have evolved over time. It’s also made me consider my own abilities and responsibility for figuring things out for myself. It’s frequently messy and unclear. Sometimes I take too much responsibility and eventually someone is like’ why didn’t you just ask for help?’. I love, love, love that we are even having this conversation….30 years ago it wasn’t like this. I’m a hot mess, but frankly so is like every 3rd person I know, so I hope everyone here can give yourself and everyone around us a little grace!❤

[@eveemcghee4454]

​​​@@embr9723honestly this is so weird, why can't ND people choose a shift within your business that better aligns with their needs? If 9 to 5 is the only available shift, YOU as the business owner have not created an environment conducive to having ADHD employees, period. And if there is, suggest they switch to that shift or corrective action be taken. As you know since you claim to be ND, your ND employees don't need to be infantilized, they need to be accommodated and your inability to accommodate is not their failure or an excuse to whinge about how you wish they'd just come in on time

[@embr9723]

@@eveemcghee4454 I hear you. It’s not weird at all. I have a 9-5 business, so the hours are nine to five. If someone comes in at a later time, someone else has to be there when that person isn’t there- this is an example when trying to be accommodating hasn’t worked well. The reality is that I can’t meet every accommodation- it may just not be a good fit for some. It’s a small business, so extending the hours doesn’t work for me- I am also a human with needs, one of which is not woking longer hours to accommodate another person. I’d personally love the hours to be like11-7, but that’s not the business that I’m in. This is a choice made after multiple attempts over time.To say my business isn’t really accommodating based on that alone also is not correct. It’s more true to say that I can’t accommodate every need. Right now 2/3 of my staff are diagnosed NDs. We do a lot of accommodating, and mostly it makes it a great team because we know each other’s specific needs well. My point is that I can’t meet all needs and still run my service based business. I hate it, but it’s true. Sometimes it really isn’t fair to ask everyone around to move the world for you- I would know, I was a terrible employee for a long time. People who don’t get being ND see my progress as finally ‘getting motivated’ but I know that not true. I stacked many little things that (mostly) worked for me- habits, medication, systems for dealing with stuff and people. By no means have I solved my issues. I just accepted that it was ok to do it messy. As an owner I have a different perspective now- people often don’t understand how their actions affect everyone around them (that’s true for everyone, not just ND’s). One of the biggest successes in my life is finally realizing that I can make my own space. That doesn’t mean that it’s a good fit for everyone! The key takeaway of the being on time example is the negative impact it has on the other staff. I’ve learned that considering that is equally important. Sometimes I can’t know the impact until we try- unforeseen consequences and all. The staff I have are great and we communicate a lot, frequently imperfectly, but we know it’s a safe space for all of us. I mainly just want to affirm the post I responded to with the teacher who was also trying to build better spaces in her classroom while addressing the needs of ALL the kids. I’m betting that the work she’s done is absolutely helping some of them! We try, sometimes it works, sometimes not. It’s ok for it not to be perfect all the time, and again- just so grateful the discussion is occurring at all.

[@MarianaCervantes]

I actually really love the pace at which you speak! - (A fellow ADHDer)

[@reneelibby4885]

me too LOL

[@michelleg1225]

Me too! I'm like Thank God someone speaks as fast as I do, and keeps my attention so my mind doesn't wander! Mickey has brought up a few things here that help me be a little more gentle to myself... especially the fact that I operate best on a night owl schedule, and I'm tired of being criticized for it

[@daniellesnyder7734]

I was diagnosed, finally, with ADHD last year at the age of 56. I’ve always had “issues” but it was never so out of control until menopause. The symptoms I had before menopause were more manageable but not only are the symptoms I had less manageable but I have ones that are new as well. Right now I’m quoting lines from the Nightmare Before Christmas randomly throughout my day. I don’t do it in public but at home I feel free to quote as much as I want. My husband who has OCPD (and no insight, I’m helping him with that one) will ask me who I’m talking to. He thinks I’m being strange but I’m just trying to having fun. I do it a lot when I’m doing housework because it’s so dreadfully boring. It’s a challenge to see how many I can recite without a mistake while I am on autopilot while cleaning stuff. I really can’t help it sometimes. I’m also too damn old to care what anyone thinks. I spent my whole life beating myself and trying to pass as normal up until I finally figured out what was really going on. I’m not going to augment my personality at home, it’s too exhausting.

[@abettername999]

I hear you!! I’m 51 and my ADHD symptoms have been ramping up since my mid 40s. I feel like I’ve lost 3 jobs and all my self confidence due to how much more ADHD is affecting me in perimenopause and menopause, and the only treatment I could get was for depression, which honestly just made everything worse. I’ve just been re-evaluated for ADHD (I was initially diagnosed when I was 26). Incidentally, my sister and I used to quote the Disney Robin Hood all the time in middle school and high school. Sending you love!😊

[@francescathomas3502]

Is that why I feel like I am getting worse instead of better? I am 59 years old and undiagnosed for ADHD right now. Menopause can affect our symptoms??

[@abettername999]

@@francescathomas3502 I don’t have all the research at my fingertips but I think the hormone changes really do affect our symptoms. I know that for me, until I finally got HRT (and I had to use an online service because I wasn’t getting the right kind, going through my regular doctor and insurance company), I literally though I was losing my mind. I could NOT function until I got a prescription for Estradiol. But that only brought me part of the way. I’ve been going through major depression, and I think I the biggest component of that for me were the unrecognized symptoms which were getting worse and worse. I should get feedback from my evaluation next week so I’m anxious to figure out what steps are next

[@karlakay]

Hi. Similar late diagnosis and yes, much worse after stopping HRT (hormone replacement therapy) If you are under age 65 HRT is still considered safe; numerous benefits in all aspects of physical & mental health to have some estrogen & / or progesterone. The patches are low dose

[@tammyiswicked]

Managed to live well with undiagnosed ADHD UNTIL menopause. It changed everything. Mainly anxiety which has fed all the other symptoms. Had a stable partner for my whole adult life too, and after his sudden death, I have also struggled to cope with basic life things. Didn’t realise how much he kept me regulated and did the things I was “bad at” eg, understand our mortgage and saving for the future. Living alone hasn’t been good for me unfortunately.

[@pattibermudez1889]

I’m so glad to find you. As anADHD’er diagnosed very late in life. In my 50s. It has been a relief, and I’ve given myself lots of grace for my past life. Not knowing that there really wasn’t anything wrong with me. As a bonus, I love Adam and Eve. And am so thrilled that they are sponsoring this episode.

[@therestiveone7369]

Well then! That just explained nearly every problem that I've had at work this past week. From falling asleep during a zoom call, being unable to follow the manager's verbal plan to re-market our handbags, nearly having a meltdown when too many people were trying to get my attention while my phone was constantly buzzing with messages, to also being on top of every new event that was going to be happening, I think my kids are right and they've inherited their neuro-spicy brains in part from me, lol.

[@lindaj2296]

Neuro-spicy is so cute. I love it!

[@AshleyKiMiller]

❤ An ADHD video on coping with abuse, RSD, and late diagnosis would be awesome. A million thanks to you and Aaron for your work and the good it does! ❤

[@Nashleyism]

Yes, I would like that too! There are some materials on how to deal with abuse, childhood trauma etc. but I can't find anything good that targets both these issues and ADHD.

[@clarewillison9379]

💯 want this too!

[@childofdestiny2811]

Yes, PLEASE!!!

[@tiffanystafford9453]

For RSD I recommend Dr Schubiner’s book Unlearn Your Pain, it’s finally moved the needle for me after 10 years of chronic pain. And yes, Dr Maté is great and his book Scattered Minds is a good resource.

[@Nashleyism]

@@katerowswell7489 Thanks. I watched him a bit and like how he explains trauma but I don't agree with his views on ADHD so I haven't tried diving into his ADHD materials. Maybe I will try that as he may have some good advice

[@Rain_Reign]

Restraint collapse??? That’s a THING?? Omg thank you Mickey, what you’ve done for me by talking about this is immense 😭😭♥️

[@geekelly000]

My daughter does that. It's hard not to take it personally. We both have ADD. I was masking even at home as a child. Not that I expect her to do the same. I am glad to know that she feels safe enough to unmask at home.

[@francescathomas3502]

yep. I had this restraint collapse happen to me once in public while we were out shopping. My then 3 years old son had an episode in a bookshop because I did not recognise his symptoms. So I had to hug him tight and hide away in a corner of the shop until he had calmed down. It took about 30 minutes. Once he was calm again, we both walked out of the book shop and went straight home. I never made that mistake again. If he ever started getting cranky then it was time to go home!!

[@cindy844]

This is why I rarely go out anymore. Being out around other people is EXHAUSTING.

[@janedoex1398]

So maybe it isn't BPD then ? Because everything else fits .

[@scottfw7169]

@@janedoex1398 The Psychiatrists in their thousand dollar Armani suits had me diagnosed as bipolar from the 1980s to the 2000s when a community health guy in jeans and a polo shirt said, "You aren't bipolar. You've never been bipolar. You're autistic, here's why ..." Then when I told family, told friends, the pretty much universal response was, "Well, that would explain why the bipolar treatments weren't doing much of anything, and, ya know, it would explain that ... and that ... and that ... and that ..."

[@beaucarbary5619]

My wife has ADHD and I'm autistic. She's always been really wonderful and understanding, and I want to learn how I can support her in the same way. This video was very helpful, so thank you.

[@lindaj2296]

You are WONDERFUL! She is lucky to have your support instead of criticism.

[@Pyratelife]

Thank you for this video. I am 51yo and only recently diagnosed with ADHD. My symptoms (now that I know what they are) are glaring! I feel like I could be the poster child for the extremes of ADHD. But some of the things you discussed are also things I have difficulty with, but didn’t realize were also apart of the divergence. I have a very hard time with phone calls and prefer texts/emails so that I can read it… sometimes over and over before I can make sense of it. certain noises, especially abrupt ones that are disruptive, also make me unusually angry… like really angry. I’ve always thought my extreme hostility towards the source of the noise was pretty weird, and completely inappropriate, but I don’t have much control over it usually. I don’t sleep at night often, but for me, it’s my most favorite part of the day. No one is calling, no one is talking, there’s no mail truck or neighbors at the door. It’s the only time my mind quiets for a while. Of course when I finally do sleep, I don’t wake up until later in the day and I feel guilt and even get Picked on a bit for “sleeping in.” I guess people don’t realize, I get far less sleep than most. I also talk pretty fast sometimes when I have a lot I want to say. I think I do that so that because A.) I won’t forget my thought before I can verbalize it, and B.) Because I think everyone’s attention span is as short as mine, and I want to do them the courtesy of speeding it up so they can move on to something new. Lol But I say all that to put context on my question about ADHD. With all of those “quirks,” I chose to become a Paramedic. I CHOSE to work in an environment where chaos thrives and noise reigns down… usually from my own ambulance. And it’s not particularly stressful either. I thrive in these conditions! I live for the adrenaline that comes with the job. And strangely, I would guess that the largest percentages of the providers I have worked with over the years…. All have ADHD or some form of the same neurodivergence. It doesn’t make sense to me. It just seems counterintuitive. I have heard it said though, that people with ADHD are superior at hyper-focusing on a situation for a short time (say a transport to the hospital), and then happily eager to rush into a burning building the next! I often joke that while I love to care for patients, I’d prefer doing it while shots are being fired! I say it’s a joke but……😊 So I am just curious how both things can be true about me or people like me? Also… it has been very helpful just to understand the motivations for why I do what I do. The symptoms of ADHD have been a source of shame, depression, guilt and insecurity my whole life. It’s so nice to have a little clarity now…. It’s been a game changer. Thanks for doing what you do!

[@emee1113]

I just happened to come across your video and so glad I did. I have issues with all these areas and have felt stupid most of my life because of it! Thanks for posting this. 😊

[@Emily-qe8hv]

I got my diagnosis 2 years ago at 21. I felt like an alien my whole life, like I don‘t belong to earth. All those little things that made me feel different - but so many of those little things, that it consumed me. I remember that I assumed not going to survive in this world as a young kid, because I‘m already overwhelmed by almost no tasks. I tried masking all my flaws and I felt like a loser not keeping track of hiding. Since 2 years I try to unmask; to heal. It‘s uncomfortable and liberating at the same time. And it‘s sad. I feel sorry for my younger self, who was alone with this and wish I could tell her that she‘ll get help

[@ego789]

Best wishes to you!

[@anonymouse9833]

8:50 For what it's worth, I actually really appreciate how fast you talk. I can stay in "listening mode" waaaayyyy better

[@Sarah-hc6kj]

I’ve been struggling with restraint collapse lately. I feel like I use all my energy to restrain myself and my feelings during the day and then I have zero energy left to be a human.

[@a.lovelace9823]

I didn't even notice you were speaking fast, it's the perfect speed for me and helps me pay attention.

[@gracewebber9103]

My husband has ADHD and your content has really helped me understand a lot better how this impacts his daily life. Of which he struggles to understand or explain even himself. Thank you 🙏

[@Prizzlesticks]

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 33, and I haven't had much time to research it beyond the commonly discussed symptoms and behaviours. Separately, I was also diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia ('narcolepsy light,' as my doctor put it). I've always had a sensitivity to sound, like bass noises enrage me because I can't block it out like I can with other annoying sounds--the vibrations are inescapable. I have above-average hearing, but always found it odd that I seem to go deaf when there are too many noises. Three people talking at once, someone talking over loud music, a murmuring crowd... It takes me half a minute to process someone is talking to me, and longer to parse what they say. I'm not bad at math, but even simple mental calculations can take me a shamefully long time. I have a hard time remembering things in the moment, but an elephant's memory after the fact. And most unexpected was the restraint meltdown. Especially staring into the void. But I've also just come home after a long day where nothing went terribly wrong, but I just breakdown sobbing and don't know why. Or I get whiny, I hear it in my voice and hate how petulant I sound. When I had a compressed schedule and had a day off in the middle of the week, I'd make the decision not to take my meds on that day or one of my weekend days, just because my brain is so tired of being forced to remain structured and effective. Now, I need my weekends to do literally anything productive, like chores and personal art projects, so I have no downtime to be a chaotic gremlin. I'm so emotionally drained... I didn't realize all of these things were common with ADHD. Knowing that, I feel a little relieved, like I'm not as broken as I thought. But I also feel.... Grief. For the life I could have built if I'd been diagnosed earlier and learned to manage it sooner....

[@Nikki_with_the_blikki]

OMG I didn't know this was potentially an ADHD symptom! I fucking hate bass (that I'm not in control of), whistling, dry hands rubbing together, too many people talking at once - it irks me to the point that I just want to shut down or rage😩 like OMG! everybody shut TF up 💀

[@HostileWorkplaceEXPOSED]

​@@Nikki_with_the_blikkiit is not. It is autism

[@KellenAdair]

I love the cello but my ears find the higher octaves on the violiin, flute and soprano sax unbearably painful. Especially, if they linger up there too long.

[@krisandbrandyblomquist3364]

People chewing, sniffling repeatedly (blow your damn nose!!), or scuffing their shoes/boots on the ground when they walk all send me over the edge! Ugh! 🤯🤬

[@NovaDoll]

Now imagine that and being dyslexic 😭😭Life is so unfair.

[@aff77141]

So glad to see someone talk about this. As a young blonde woman who has all of these symptoms in my ADHD experience, I think they really compound together along with my looks into why people talk to me like I was born yesterday. I hope people realize someday because it's so incredibly frustrating and makes you feel crazy to say something, and then have people 'correct' you by saying literally the same thing with slightly different words.

[@unclemick-synths]

I'm not young, blonde, or female but I get similar things and often feel like I must be speaking a different language that just happens to have the same words in it. I've given up trying to rephrase what I say because I find NTs unable to get away from what they initially thought I was saying. I used to think it was me but now I see it as their deficit and I only bother to rephrase if they ask.

[@mushooporkie]

Man. I exist in a similar space that you do, as a mental health clinician who also has ADHD. For me, executive functioning difficulties have had the highest negative impact on my everyday life. & working in this role as an adult (esp with children & youth that also have ADHD) has been eye opening & saddening. I particularly have struggled so hard with the delayed sleep issue that it’s impacted my job security. I literally CANNOT get up in the morning and my brain needs at least 3-4 hours to do absolutely nothing before i can even begin to sleep…i always say that I don’t want to do, hear or watch anything that requires critical thinking. Even with knowing the disorder, it’s so reassuring to hear another clinician emphasize that my presentation isn’t a moral failure or a reflection of not being a functional adult, but rather a function of my neurodivergence. Thank you for this vid 🙏🏾

[@catnublia]

It's been a year since I was formally diagnosed with ADHD and given medication, which as been WONDERFUL and immensely helpful. Every now and then I still suddenly remember something from my childhood + high school years I struggled with, like speech issues, sleep issues, etc., that I got little sympathy for, and I get ANGRY. I was a walking talking textbook case of ADHD, every adult in my life knew I had a family history of ADHD, and no one stopped to try and help. They just shamed.

[@rebelant788]

My ADHD brain is LOVING your backdrop 😍 I’m in school to become a therapist and glad I found your channel!

[@TheWelchcat]

Being 46, and realizing how many of these things reflect my experiences... I'm having trouble getting a diagnosis. It seems hard for them to understand that I've had to find ways to cope. I say "this is me", they say "you seem fine". Well I've had decades trying to survive, Dr, so my mask is 46 years old too.

[@Alan_Duval]

Do you know the song 'The Stranger,' by Billy Joel? Key lyric: We all have a face that we hide away forever We take them out and show ourselves when everyone is gone

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

Ask someone to advocate for you, so you appear more "disabled"

[@AlatheD]

I received my ADHD diagnosis in early grade school. My father made sure I never got a refill on my meds. So I "forgot" about that diagnosis until my 40s. I find it fascinating the things we're learning are part of ADHD or co-morbid with it. I've learned some stuff here, and that's what I'm after! Working Memory - I had no idea this was a thing. I'm pretty sure I also have a form of dyscalculia. Numbers are stupid hard for me. Wait, so my tendency for accent acquisition may be part of my ADHD? See, that's fascinating. And here I just always thought I had a late circadian rhythm. Second or third shifts work the best for me, always have. To be functional at 9 am, I have to get up two hours early and drink a couple of cups of coffee while doing something "soft" for my brain to wake up slowly. That's how I became addicted to Minecraft videos. LOL Thanks, Mickey!

[@AndaraBledin]

Circadian rhythms are weird. For example, the 24-hour cycle is just the 'typical' cycle. Some people have shorter or longer cycles than that. Mine is about 25 hours, which means I'm always feeling like it's too early to go to bed or wake up. This means that there are weekends where I only have 2 sleep sessions instead of 3 to 'reset' my wake time so I can be up in time for work. Meanwhile, while my husband's cycle is close to 24 hours, he's actively nocturnal, so he prefers to get up in the afternoon and go to bed in the morning.

[@bdrummond5414]

This comment had me cracking up, because this is my son in a nutshell! Our pediatrician actually told us to give him coffee and it’s been the best thing! He doesn’t like to give Meds unless it’s absolutely necessary (which I’m thankful for!) and in this stage of life coffee seems to be the best “medicine”.

[@FurtiveSkeptical]

Haha, coffee knocks me unconscious.....it doesnt work on me the way it does others. Its a weird sensation to feel, falling asleep in my chair with my heart racing from the coffee.😅

[@BlueGreenEyedSoulSis]

That makes no sense that the doctor would tell you that. Coffee is contraindicated in children because it has cardiac effects. Ritalin is listed as a softer drug in the stimulant class of medications (caffeine is in the same class.) I get heart palpitations when I consume the amount of caffeine needed to treat my ADHD. I've never had palpitations from Ritalin and I'm a 60 y.o. with excellent blood pressure all while taking Ritalin daily.

[@massiahgrom]

You just described me !!

[@dragonstooth4223]

I'm 10 seconds in and I can say as someone diagnosed with ADHD and ASD and I not only have 2 degrees but a career in engineering. It's not a hindrance to a great life. I know some ppl it might be harder I'm just saying you don't have to be the stereotype you can be way more. Mickey is also a great example of how it's not the end of the world to have ADHD. You can succeed.

[@shannonarrington8049]

It is interesting, I lived close to the Colorado School of Mines (Engineering school). I am dyslexic, and have known about it for most of my life, only recently realizing I had APD and ADHD. I told an engineer once I could not become an engineer because of my dyslexia and she told me that it is very common for engineers, it seems the neurodivergent mind is very adept to engineering. Brilliant minds are often Neurodivergent minds.

[@dragonstooth4223]

​@@shannonarrington8049 100% eh. I'm also dyslexic and I will be going down the contract route with engineering. That's preparing documents and managing contracts and works with an engineering consultancy. I often describe myself as coming from a family of dyslexic tradesmen with ADHD (my whole family has signs of both and I have other diagnosed family members) but I am proof that doesn't hold you back. I've learned success it two fold ... mindset and luck. If you believe you can't ... you can't. simple. If you believe you can, you'll find a way. That's why I never think of myself as broken with something to fix. There's nothing wrong with being ND. Yes we think different and yes we have extra challenges. Its about figuring out how to work with those challenges and see them not as holding us back but things that can help us go forward. Let's put it this way ... I never grew tall enough to be a model but that doesn't mean I can't find success elsewhere. Because I didn't grow tall enough doesn't mean I'm defective, just means I didn't grow tall enough. Nothing I can do about that, but being a model isn't the only way to success in this world. I just need to find something that fits what I'm good at and the success will come.

[@sharonthompson672]

Differently abled. ❤️ We all contribute. 🙂

[@nonyabidness5708]

Please say "It wasn't a hindrance to a great life FOR ME." Because it 1000% has been for me. I wasn't even diagnosed until my late 30s and I'm still trying to figure out what works to help overcome the very significant challenges it has created. Even if someone is diagnosed earlier, if they aren't taught the tools to help navigate it, it can still be a hindrance. I'm SUPER happy that there are people like you who were not negatively affected but there are a vast number of people who have been. Circumstances and degrees of neurodivergence can make a huge difference. Don't get me wrong. I have some success and hope for more but it had been and continues to be a hindrance.

[@saritavenkatapathynaidu9533]

@@nonyabidness5708thank you. This stuff can be really grating for those of us who are tired of being told “don’t let your disability disable you!” Wut???!!!

[@mary9687]

I am in my mid-30s and newly diagnosed. This video was really helpful! It really helps to take a step away from all the build up guilt from decades of believing I am just useless and dumb.

[@12les]

Your channel is amazing! I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, and again as an adult (no surprise there 😅). I was also diagnosed with delayed sleep phase disorder as an adult, because I was about to hand myself over for a sleep study because it was just getting a bit wild, lol. I was typically labelled as lazy, naughty, weird, different, blah blah blah. Still working on accepting and loving myself and changing the narrative around who I am. It’s still a serious struggle but it really helps to at least know that it’s just the way I am and not that there’s something wrong with me. For the longest time, I’ve just been in survival mode and it’s sooooo exhausting. I “multitask” to try keep myself engaged, but obviously that’s a bit of a trap, lol. My memory is non-existent, I have a shopping addiction (and I’m not even rich 😢), I’m ALWAYS late for everything, I am the Queen of procrastination, I basically live in chaos and disorder… it’s a circus up in here 😂 I haven’t found a reliable toolkit yet but channels like this are a huge help. Can’t wait to start thriving! Love to all my neurodivergent peeps ❤

[@gamewrit0058]

5:15 Thank you for also casually including that not everyone sees literal pictures in their mind when "picturing" a scene! Your explanation and clarification is good on multiple fronts: includes those of us who see few or no images, educates those of us who don't know that other folks either do or do not actually "see" images in their heads when imaging, and clarifies for those of us who might take the phrase "visualize this" as a direct instruction and miss what's said next while trying to visualize. Live you! 💕

[@AnnekeOosterink]

I don't remember if I mentioned this before, but I wanted to say that your videos about seeking help and adhd have been a part in me seeking a diagnosis, and getting one. I'm seeing a therapist for things related to adhd, mostly practical solutions to my most pressing problems right now, and I'm getting medication, and I can't stress enough how much this has helped me. So thanks for being a part in me recognising I might have ADHD and getting a diagnosis. The lack of physical hyperactivity has been a real deterrent for me, I wasn't really a child who would run around a lot, and I'm still not, so I never once considered ADHD. Turns out that the hyperactivity is mostly an internal thing for me.

[@chelis0casa]

This video is so validating 🥺🥺After moving in with my husband, i really started to notice just how differently we function around stimuli when the tv's on or doing simple tasks that really made me start to wonder if i was in fact neurodivergent. As a girl I've lived being told that "I'm just too energetic and at the same time unbothered", i often say i know two languages but can speak neither of them bc my brain feels like it works too fast, stimming is super common for me, i have a million hobbies for every occasion bc SOMETHING needs to keep me focused or how am i supposed to get anything done. I can't watch anything on a big screen bc as a kid we had an older tv that you could always hear the humm of and it would bother me so much for apparently no reason that even now that they don't humm as much as they used to, just having a tv on makes me uncomfortable and i just don't watch movies or shows if i can help it. I was once trying to get my husbands attention by going tss tss tss psst and he wasn't listening to me until i called his name. He apologized and didn't mean to ignore me but "it's just that your always making noises and I let you do your thing. It's cute. I'm sorry🥹" Once I'm back in the states i hope to get a formal diagnosis for all my ~suspicions~🙈 Thank you, Mickey for all you do❤️❤️ Sending love from South Korea🫶🏼

[@timlloydsmithfineart1254]

Superb content & delivery. Just self diagnosing at 62 & getting a lot of boxes checked here - someone said it’s like a religious experience & I agree - I’m enjoying a self esteem rebirth. I can finally forgive much about myself and build informed living strategies rather than just stumbling through life ashamed of my failings. I’m a professional artist of some skill, we ADHDers can excel in areas we love . Deeply felt thanks - for you are surely making a core difference to so many people’s lives 🌸

[@whipsmartgirl]

I feel so called out in the best way possible. 😂 I shifted to doung private practice therapy and it's been so helpful to set my own schedule. I typically work 10-7, stay up til midnight and it's great. ALSO, the talking fast thing! I get excited, have so much to say and don't want to forget. Then I have to try not to interrupt. I can't tell you how much I fun it is working with clients who have a similar presentation of ADHD to mine because neither of us have to worry about or apologize for our natural communication style. ❤

[@Allison_Hart]

I had no idea that restraint collapse could come in the form of shutting down or spacing out!! No wonder I didn't think I was experiencing this. So helpful Mickey ❤

[@carriepinkduck]

I would love a video about OCD. The symptoms overlap with ADHD a lot. As someone with OCD, I relate a lot to ADHD content. One thing that frustrates me the most is that my brain works WAY faster than some other people so I can look ahead, on a work project for example, and see how the pieces do or don't fit together, but I can't always understand how others are picturing it. I also process written directions so much better than auditory instructions/info.

[@footferrie]

You could absolutely have both, AuDHD with OCD here 😊

[@footferrie]

I will clarify that my OCD is very repetitive physical acts out of compulsion and some light intrusion, no catastrophizing or anything that leads to them.

[@KarriSimone]

All of this is so validating. I literally think every one should watch just to understand the ADHD symptoms are not a cop out.

[@el3264]

8:55 It's funny that many people complain about how fast you speak. At the time of watching this video I had 5 others in the queue and the only way I could lower the urge to click next was to watch this video at 1.5x speed.😂 Speaking is my biggest frustration. My brain moves like lightning. I've already worked out the beginning, middle and end of a topic before I can even get the right words to express those thoughts. Even writing this comment took me like 30 minutes because I've become so obsessed with expressing myself in a concise manner. All my life I was told thinks like, "you talk too much" or "your stories never have a point/get to a point" or "oh, is that it? What was the point?" And I can't even count how many times people have become impatient with me because I take long pauses, or use the wrong word or replace it with "thingamajig" just so that I don't pause. It made me very obsessive of how I express myself. It's to the point where, if I have something to say in a conversation, I'll zone out and figure out how I'm going to say what I need to say without stumbling over my words. I was diagnosed with ADHD quite late in my life, and the process of unmasking has been liberating and scary at the same time. I realised I've never been able to be my authentic self because of all the negative comments I got. I always thought these things I struggled with were character flaws and that I was somehow fundamentally flawed in an irreparable way. Only now that I'm trying to unmask did I realise how draining it's been to just live. I'm grateful for channels like this because it's how I started to become aware of what adhd actually is and ultimately led me to going to get assessed. This is also the first time I've ever left a comment this long haha! I'm not sure if anyone will ever read it, but thank you for getting to the end if you did read it.😊😊

[@acsw]

Wow! This was SO illuminating for me with my six year old daughter! I have ADHD & never considered that my daughter has it too because she's able to behave just fine at school. She's a complete angel. But at home, she's hell on wheels the moment she walks in the door! Literally crying right now 😭

[@Little_Lepus]

Oh my gosh, the last one explains SO much of my time in school. I was ALWAYS drawing in class to keep my hands busy so that my brain would focus on the lecture. Some teachers were more understanding than others.

[@amayasasaki2848]

I got pulled into a room to discuss my doodling while attempting to pay attention in a court room since I'd been selected as one of the jury members. The chairs were set up in such a way that there was absolutely no room to fidget either since I usually will tuck one foot under the other leg, and switch back and forth, but there was no room for that. I ran out of ideas to doodle, and ended up falling asleep and kicked off the jury.

[@Seiaeka]

This is the first time I've ever heard anyone talking about auditory processing disorder. I had someone check my hearing when I was a teenager/emerging adult, and they said I might very like have APD. And then the video progressed... I have literally ALL of these issues/symptoms. I was diagnosed with ADHD just this last summer at 38 years old and so far my entire life has begun to make so much sense. I started a medication last month, and I've been able to do things that I've been trying FOR LITERAL YEARS to do like it was nothing. I hope I can finally get my life back on track and actually be a functional human being after falling through the cracks my whole life. Note that it took me THREE AND A HALF YEARS to get diagnosed, even tangentially by my family doctor, because I missed the phone call from the specialist because they changed the date of the appointment over the phone with me and off-set it by a week+1 day. By the time I got off the phone, I had forgotten what they told me with no way to call them back, then the pandemic happened and I'm still back in 2019 in my brain. One missed phone call and my whole life was stalled by 3.5 years because I just couldn't make another call to my old doctor after I moved just before the shutdowns. Everything I've been unable to do or achieve my whole life has come into sharp focus since realizing I might have ADHD all the way to finally starting the medication I clearly needed, and I feel like I could have been an entirely different person if my doctors and teachers had simply listened to me when I said, "I think there's something wrong, but I can't figure out what or why. Why can't I do these things that should be so easy? They should be easy, but they're not." And I think it is thanks to channels like these that have finally helped me get back onto the road to recovery after 38 years of being left behind and feeling lost and abandoned. Thank you for taking the time to make this content, because it really does help people.

[@dianamcole]

First time watcher here! Great content. I probably have ADHD. I first got tested yesterday. Definitely doing some processing right now, but doing ok. On the bright side, there’s many interesting and intriguing aspects about being different from most people. Despite the challenges, I know people with ADHD are special. Anyway, I love your confident, unique and fun personality. I’m also in love with the artwork behind you. All of these elements are inspiring. Thanks for the video.

[@lauraduplooy]

I completely LOVE how quickly you talk! I find that a lot of people talk so slowly that my mind literally wanders between their words. I can't follow along. YOU are PERFECT! Thank you!!

[@morganLfei]

This info is so helpful! I am a neurodivergent mother with inattentive ADHD. I’m 99% sure my son is also neurodivergent. He will have hyperactive outbursts just as you described. I am so grateful to have content like this to better understand myself and my family. Thank you Mickey!

[@rgs8970]

Sometimes my combination of auditory processing and speech disorders, plus trauma response in social/professional situations leads to me becoming nonverbal. Sometimes I can slowly explain that that is what is happening, but other times I am just immobilized. I've also found that, if I can write down "I am in overwhelm, and I cannot speak right now" in chat (or on a piece of paper in person) that can help take the pressure off of the moment. (edited for clarity)

[@anainesgonzalez8868]

I do this as well! Writing down things is my number one tool