Therapist Reacts to Couples Trying to Save Their Relationships

[@eeedona.3747]

“If you’re having these conversations to get the other person to apologize, it’s probably not productive” Wow, thank you for saying that. That was really eye opening for me

[@plutoporn]

I like that. Every time I would bring up issues with my roommate she would just incessantly apologize and it would always piss me off. I don’t want to hear apologies I want to see behavioral change.

[@alainapristine3305]

⁠​⁠@@plutoporn one, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. You can’t control a person if they’re not willing to change for you nor anyone. Unless you try a different approach in communication. Have the patience or move out

[@gusmanue8337]

Story of my life mate lol

[@teresadunn903]

I interpreted this a different way than the other people I see replying, but agree with those points and still really liked the quote you wrote because it had me reflecting on a past experience: it clicked and validated for me that when a past ex was contacting me and talking about things he claimed were in response to him going to therapy, the main thing he seemed to be doing was pressuring me and guilting me into apologizing for things. He did this by saying it like it was my turn after he basically said, i forgive you because my therapist explained how your past trauma may have led to your behaviors in harming me; meanwhile, he was abusive to me and none of that was touched on in absolutely anything he said in the conversation. And I kept responding to him with the sentiment that "I can't give you anything right now". But he kept pushing and basically guilting me for not apologizing to him or forgiving him. But if I were to do that, that would have just been fake, because there were other things he was still doing like talking to a friend behind my back and making me look like the bad guy but also using her to get information about me under the guise of concern. And I only found that out through him because he let it slip in the way he was speaking about events. it was all fucked, to keep it short, the quote made me realize he was faking his care and was approaching me in a massively unhealthy way and I didn't/don't deserve to feel guilty for how I was feeling and responding in that instance, for not apologizing and forgiving like he seemed to think he was wildly owed and deserving of.

[@okashi10]

​@teresadunn903 That's such a good point, and I'm sorry you had to experience that. It's so important for people to realize that they can apologize and request forgiveness, but they can't expect forgiveness. Not everyone "moves on" at the same pace and trust isn't easily rebuilt. I know several people who will take the mindset of "well, I apologized, so why haven't they gotten over it yet?" In the end, that's selfish, self-serving behavior. It makes it seem like they just apologized to speed up the process or to assuage their own guilt, not because they're actually committed to making change.

[@skybug1706]

that sudden "i think you're really beautiful" in response to self deprecation hit me so hard tears sprung to my eyes. wow.

[@kirani111]

I bawled 😭 I hope they can be happy, together or separate

[@lurker616]

Me too! I thought it was just me and I was wondering why that effected me so much!😊

[@ineedhoez]

Not me. I saw it as manipulative. Make her feel good, so she will stop pushing. She was asked a question and deflected by tossing out a compliment. I first noticed this tactic in my work environment. I would have to address poor performance and suddenly the compliments would start flowing. Comments inserted about my teeth, hair, outfit etc. I know I am fabulous, so they aren't telling me anything I don't already know. However, for someone who is not attractive, by traditional beauty standards, a statement like this can redirect the conversation. Maybe I am pessimistic AF but that is what I saw.

[@skybug1706]

@ineedhoez a sad but valid perspective....but maybe this possiblity is offset by the fact that the one on the left took initiative to describe why she prevents the relationship from working -- in that case the one on the right could just let Left speak and carry the blame - though it's true that Right neither clearly & utterly confirmed nor denied those self deprecations... yeah, i can see how that could be a deflection. i just hope you're wrong and that Right just heard someone she loves taking themselves down and stepped in with imperfect wording to counteract the sadness with love & praise... but who knows... maybe she knew it would sound good to the ears of her ex and their audience.

[@nescom99]

Same bro

[@TheAjaWhite]

Whoever came up with the idea to have a therapist review this video in this way was genius and needs a raise. As a psych student, specifically focused on family, this was phenomenal to watch and learn from. Please do more of these!!

[@Amber-sc9jp]

What do you mean whoever came up with this idea? The creator came up with the idea lol she's genius

[@lindsaylarson4972]

if she did a therapist podcast, I would definitely listen because the way she explains things and sees things within a relationship are so eye-opening

[@hipnhappenin]

She's been on a lot of different videos. She's great, super clear and empathetic

[@thrill102]

She has a KZbin channel

[@anadoripanther3196]

Her youtube is stephanya and she has a lot of videos like this, it's amazing. She does these kind of deep dives for love is blind and they are fascinating @lindsaylarson4972

[@redheaded_asmr]

the two women who are clearly both just trying so so so hard to make it work. i cry.... the amount of love and care they have for eachother 😢

[@Lifeishard237]

Yea because it was their own inner turmoil that ruined the relationship and not really each other. It’s really sad.

[@dragonfish888]

The anxious attachment is very strong.

[@erikaparker9850]

Love ain’t enough! Period!

[@seekthuth2817]

Dude, Stacy and her wife almost made me cry multiple times, they're such a polarizing couple.

[@MikeyBizzle]

I feel the same I'm sus of the one with the glasses but I like them

[@AccordingToWillow]

they both got glasses lol

[@MikeyBizzle]

@@AccordingToWillow lol

[@Alex-fl9jt]

Polarizing isnt le mot juste its not the right word choice brah.

[@BroadwayDuchess13]

What's polarizing about them? I'm curious, because I didn't see that at all.

[@resir9807]

The blonde woman acted admirably in my opinion. I'd have loved to get such a direct no from some of my love interests. The few times I have, I've managed to move on way faster and easier

[@TeeMeeBeeWee]

Boundaries are a good thing, even when it isn’t what we want to hear.

[@lauraw.7008]

@Resi R same. After 30 years of trying, being misunderstood, and still trying because I misunderstood “signals” that “any normal person would recognize”.

[@ProbablyGone]

​@@lauraw.7008 You sound like my ex. Just get a therapist

[@ProbablyGone]

​@@lauraw.7008 Wait do you also use words that mean one thing but you use that word to convey something else?? That makes communicating more hard 😭😭

[@lauraw.7008]

@@ProbablyGone Not saying the ex carries all the blame, just that their involvement with a substance interfered with their ability to be fully honest, and they believed there are black and white ways of understanding, along with telling me there was something wrong with me for not getting sarcasm, not understanding non-verbal nuance when words and body language don't match up because they wanted me to respond to their body language, not their words, and I'm somewhat body-language blind, and respond to words more. Oh, and I did get a therapist. And the ex is an ex. I was agreeing with Resi, and sharing a bit of me. Not asking for recommendation for therapy, or sympathy, or insults.

[@StephAnya]

Thank you for all the kind words, everyone! This was fun to do with Healthline! ❤️

[@BelgraviaTottie]

How would you recommend approaching a spouse that would refuse therapy, that is taking their partner for granted? Especially regarding division of labour, it all laying on the others hands, house work, childcare, finances, everything. And the spouse ignoring cries for help? Quite literally being told “I seriously need things to change, I need you to do more for me and with me”. Not being grateful as in Mother’s Day gifts, even handmade cards with their child, wanting to spend time with them just snuggling and watching a movie. They’re very much in love but it feels as though it’s becoming transactional and strained on one side, the spouse that’s lacking doesn’t notice it, except for the lowering of intimacy which comes from the amount of responsibility on the shoulders of the partner. Who’s constantly exhausted as a new mum.

[@blkangelflame]

I hope Healthline makes this as a series with you!

[@danijean7425]

@stephanya My partner and I are the queer wlw couple and I wish you had a client list you were accepting because your guidance and objectivity is something we are needing to be guided to make choices that best support us individually to see if we can be together healthily. I wish the other couple had more videos because it’s nice (as nice as this experience can be) to see yourself mirrored when you feel alone in it.

[@oolat7304]

I love Steph! The most insightful therapist I’ve listening to 🥹❤️

[@TwistedLyfofTV]

I need you as my therapist

[@Hello_Spaceboy]

Oh girl. I just had a major breakup and the worst part about it was "now that I'm finally starting to feel better, it's too late." I feel for her so hard.

[@jas67angel]

Same, was broken up with just before Christmas - and also just got off birth control recently that I had been on all this past year that dramatically impacted my energy levels, emotions, sense of self etc. And only recently have I felt like the hormones are finally out of my system and I feel like my old self and am trying my best not to dwell on the “what ifs” of if I had gotten off it sooner.

[@Hello_Spaceboy]

@@jas67angel the chaos that bc pills create is unreal! I hope you're doing well. It's hard not to get caught up on what ifs, but it only gets better from here - when you're feeling like yourself again you start to attract people who match your vibe.

[@frankiebobula8073]

Same here, and it had me in tears. We had a lot of things come up but I'd say the biggest was lack of communication. And so like there was a lot of things we didn't work on bc we didn't talk so each other didn't know. And it was so hard to hear all these things that I'm so willing to work on but I'm only hearing it when she's absolutely exhausted and doesn't have the energy for this right now.

[@LA-cm9uo]

Try to take her out and make her happy without talking about the problems for a few times at first

[@jazminefaircloth8456]

What you said at 19:14 is so true. My ex told me he didn’t love me anymore and even though that hurt like a ton of bricks; it allowed me to move on and that’s the only thing I am grateful for from him.

[@TerrySues-eb4nx]

Damn “only” 😂. Gatdamn

[@vivsevs1087]

Steph is so articulate, knowledgeable, and good at explaining to us what she's observing and thinking as she analyzes these people. I'm surprised this video doesn't have more views but hope it gains lots of traction soon. It's well produced and super interesting! I see she does have a channel so I'm definitely subscribing to both.

[@saushakamara]

The 2 women really love each other. They're so considerate and caring of one another. I hope they figure it out, at the least for a close friendship.

[@lornatw]

The woman who said she was angry because she feels they haven't tried everything isn't considering that being temporarily apart is one of those everything's, maybe the other woman cannot find herself whilst being mixed up at such close proximity every day at the moment. Sometimes your idea of what options are left are not the only options but your perceived options that work for you. ❤

[@Jomanidanielle]

This is so insightful. I feel with abandonment issues it’s hard to fathom taking space is an option but it feels like a manifestation of the relationship ending.

[@LA-cm9uo]

Thanks, this improved my perspective

[@LyrixNChill]

​@Jomanidanielle Absolutely. Seperation seems like a logical tool to rekindle a relationship, but it also screams "THE END" to me. I'd totally screw it up and make things worse.

[@kirani111]

The married couple made me cry 😢 the empathy they had for each other made me so sad for some reason. Like I just wanted them to be happy, but it was so unfair that the issues in their relationship were not letting that happen.

[@Rinniantoinette]

Me too

[@PlebianGorilla]

I recently ended a 3+ year relationship. My first serious one as an adult. I’m hurting.

[@thewise2443]

me too

[@ESTMYNDA]

❤❤ cry it out with some friends. It helps. And don't forget to get back to yourself ❤

[@thewise2443]

@@ESTMYNDA that’s all I’ve been doing is crying ☹️ I finally move out tomorrow from after a month of breaking up. That’s going to be real hard. I will love to give you guys a 3mo update

[@ESTMYNDA]

@@thewise2443 you've got this. One day at a time . ❤️❤️❤️

[@Iamsoul00]

2 1/2 years here. Now we can submit to things that help us grow 🌳. I’m surprisingly feeling strong. He actually made it easy for me by letting me down for the last time! I’m calling my power back to me.

[@jodiesmith6069]

i genuinely hope the married couple can work things out. they are so gentle with one another, and they have so much empathy with each other. with work and effort i believe they could be happier in their marriage.

[@immoore4614]

When that couple said “i still find you so beautiful even when you cry” i just exploded into tears. To have someone have that love and care for you even when youre down and out and just emotional. It’s so rare because people want to be so objective sometimes. I hope they figure things out

[@ka-wing6493]

1. 4) 0:00 Who is responsible for the breakup? 2. 8) 3:23 Sexually, where can I improve? 3. 15) 6:12 Where do you think we failed us? 4. 16) 9:58 Why am I not good enough? 5. 17) 11:05 Have you slept with anyone since we separated? 6. 19) 12:53 Call a friend and ask them if we should get back together. 7. 22) 14:41 Name three reasons we shouldn’t get back together. 8. 25) 16:05 When did you fall out of love with me?

[@xyzblackwomen]

Thanks, do you know where we can find all 30 questions?

[@smarti1144]

Probably on the cut channel. ​@@xyzblackwomen

[@kellawiki]

Doing God’s work, friend! Thank you!

[@vittoriagnecchi5783]

The gay dude has so much self-awareness and emotional maturity.

[@mell1fera]

I hope your videos get more engagement b/c youre so articulate, educational and genuinely lovely. I'm honestly shocked your channel hasn't popped off more.

[@StephAnya]

Aw thank you! Thanks to Healthline for this cool partnership. I have a channel as well!

[@mell1fera]

@@StephAnya newly subbed! ^^

[@xhannzz]

@@StephAnyasubscribed!!!!

[@valev9813]

please do more videos like this!! she’s so informative and so good at explaining how she would connect it to her own therapy sessions. my attention span is so bad but i didn’t even realize when it was the end of the video

[@healthlinementalhealth]

We have several more coming soon!

[@linneafrangipane5785]

i really love this reaction. the insight, the facts and how respectful the comments on each persons statements are

[@helloleesh]

Name 3 reasons you shouldn’t be together… “I think I can be too much for you- with my sadness and anger.” “I think you’re really beautiful. Even when you cry.” That. GUTTED. Me. I’m a sobbing mess out of nowhere. WOW. P.S. I love them and hope they work.

[@LindaOhGee]

Steph is so good at what she does.

[@thierrybrown2417]

The married couple is me and my ex boyfriend. We are great as parents but the love had fizzled after three years of being together. I was pregnant during the beginning of the pandemic and I have postpartum depression. It got to the point where my mental health was hurting our relationship. I am a better headspace both physically and mentally. Emotionally, it's hard that we still care for each other but just on different paths career wise and as individuals. Maybe one day, we can get back together but I am happy that we are co-parenting our beloved daughter. She is the reason why her dad and I have respect for one another. We had been best friends for almost six years before we became a couple. I am letting God put me on a positive path as a mother and an individual. God bless this couple. Stay strong and be the best parents that you can be 🙏🏾❤️

[@shalondan.7262]

Omg how did you get to that point I’m struggling with letting go and coparenting

[@ameliafoley9569]

I had a very emotionally abusive ex, and about 8 years later I reached out to him and told him thank you. I said thank you for helping me realize that I had no boundaries and no self respect. It was a mature convo and he was shocked that I forgave him. We met up once just to hang / smoke, when I was in the area, and he said I was a different person and could see my confidence. (Which is an issue he had with me). I’m in a much healthier amazing relationship now, I am thankful of that ex for the lessons I learned. If you’re going through a bad breakup, just know that with self reflection, self love and care, that fairytale love can be yours!! ❤

[@ebayrose]

Asking the girl of the straight couple about her surprised expression "yeah, he's never said that to me before" made me wonder if she meant that while they were together he never said he loved her...

[@murk959]

I'm so glad finally a licensed organization with actually certified doctors that have been practicing for years has a KZbin channel and they're making educational content versus people with just opinions and quote unquote fitness influencers

[@megan-wl1ym]

ugh my heart hurts so much for the married couple, you can feel the love and it's so sad that circumstances led them here because they clearly still care about each other a lot. i hope it works out for them even if they don't get back together.

[@Cornflower20]

I will watch this woman react to anything! I love her insights! She's my favourite therapist on KZbin because of how kind she is when talking about other people

[@naturalebeing]

the lesbian couple made me cry dude wow.. I hope they work it out because they seem so in tune with each other and yes so graceful towards each other.

[@dethebare3865]

Thank you for this video. You do a really good job of educating what makes a healthy relationship and healthy communication. You are so clear in praising the actions of the people who are communicating well. Please keep making content like this.

[@reginejones2402]

I really liked this talk. Makes you see things differently. The lesbian couple was so sweet you can see the one in the red was in the relationship she really loves her. Her gf is the one having trouble with the relationship . Though she loves her and cares. But she's dealing with something else that has nothing to do with the relationship yet its affecting the relationship

[@polarberri]

Thank you!! I feel validated that the way I communicate is healthy and self aware, and the issue was that the other person wasn't willing to work towards that. No more wasting time on people who aren't willing to work on themselves!

[@mrahzzz]

I see you get into it a bit later but yes! The yellow and maroon couple had me in tears almost every scene. I love how they modeled caring for one another in the midst of a difficult, emotional conversation, even if the woman in maroon wasn't sure if (she) wanted to salvage her relationship with her wife. I love Stephanie's insights throughout this too - she's so so insightful and thoughtful and brings such a level of expertise to these videos.

[@mademoisellecupcake4047]

This is one of my favorite video, it is so beautiful to see people trying understand their situation. And the therapist said such good comments like WOW

[@LilyGrace95]

"You're so beautiful..." Not only is it obvious she was (/is?) a really supportive wife, that was more than just words. That was so genuine and _caring._ I'm really rooting for those two. I hope once the emotions are figured out, they can have a good relationship, even if it's just as coparents. It's so wonderful to see.

[@appanaulaaa]

15:03 that’s so hard to hear even as an spectator… I was honestly on tears

[@ettinakitten5047]

10:10 This hits home because my dad has the same issue of saying what he thinks the other person wants to hear instead of what he's really feeling, and it causes so many conflicts between him and my mom, and also with me as his daughter. Neither of us want to push his boundaries, but he tends to not communicate his boundaries and then blow up when he's hit his limit, and it comes out of the blue.

[@ilovefreerealms1000]

My boyfriend does the same. I tell him that comfort,his comfort or mine, should not be more important than our trust and connection. The people we love should find a safe space in us, and when they don’t practice that, we feel shut out and unable to be there and comfort that person. It’s sad to cry alone but laugh together. We’re here for them.

[@calebgomes8174]

Self awareness instead of blame is key to every relationship you can have with someone

[@andreyamatthew2035]

Loved hearing Steph Anya's takes. She always has thoughtful and thorough analysis! I'm so grateful for her channel.

[@VWHNeal1018]

There are so many adults who have never had real intimacy. With real intimacy there is truthfulness, honesty that is in a safe place. You can trust that person and you appreciate it. Hearing your mate say why you love , respect and appreciate them . And it will show in the behavior. Being vulnerable is such a difficult thing for many people. I say, heal your hurts before entering a relationship.

[@indiajennings9391]

I definitely got goosebumps and was rooting so much for the two beautiful and kind ladies who you can really tell love each other

[@askrhonnie6356]

She seems like an excellent therapist. Our sessions were never productive and maybe made things worse. 😢

[@samanthawilliams549]

So interesting to see couples try this! I did this with my ex but instead of one calm productive conversation across a table from each other it was random, sometimes snippy, texts sent at all hours for three or four months lol. “Where did we fail each other? Did you love her? Did you ever love me?” But it accomplished the same thing. We didn’t get back together but we’re best friends now and we can be honest about where things went wrong.

[@mustangnawt1]

U seem to really know your stuff. I am so glad there are people that know how they can help other people. Have thought about how difficult this work must be

[@GaryOPostle]

Hard to tell if the straight couple weren't communicating enough or if the woman was in the relationship a lot longer than she should've been

[@Iuxinterior]

it sounds like she just isn’t in love with him and doesn’t want to fall back into those roles again with him because he’s being way too emotional and loving with her when she says he never did that

[@heiseili9279]

​@@Iuxinterior that's called love bombing.

[@LaydeeHijabee]

I honor and learn from my past. I forgive myself for when I did NOT show up for my partner in the relationship and I forgive him for when he did NOT show up for me. I release the stigma society has on desiring to end relationships that does NOT serve the authentic you. I acknowledge my fears and tears. I surrender to the unknown and step boldly into the future.

[@chinenyekalu7179]

👏🏽

[@Sagegoddess4]

@@chinenyekalu7179love this!

[@AnjelinaSaint]

I absolutely LOVED this video! Thanks for breaking down your thoughts, including showing the difference between productive and unproductive questioning.

[@raiacherednikov2164]

I really appreciate your expertise! You have warm energy and I love how objective and non-judgmental you are.

[@sidneyboo9704]

Wonderful analysis. I feel like we can ALL learn from this.

[@allykindler5535]

The way you articulated your comments in this video we’re immaculate - felt like I should be taking notes!! Great advice! Thank you!

[@KittiesAGogo]

Yes Healthline! More of this please! More of this therapist please!

[@bluebutterfly5062]

Let's go Steph! We want you on every show girl 💕

[@JiannaSandoval]

I'm glad you reminded everyone to pause before judging the girl with the piercings. She could easily be labeled as an "ice queen" for her honesty, but you're 100% right. We don't know what happened. We don't know these people. In the end, this is a KZbin video, not their whole lives

[@myaq6457]

I wanna see an episode on the dating lives of these therapists. I feel like it’d be overwhelming to find someone that gets it that isn’t also a therapist.

[@raynebow5289]

Steph Anya actually has a couple of videos on her channel that she does with her partner. They talk about insights and struggles they experienced throughout their relationship

[@patmaurer8541]

Therapists have the same flaws and problems as everyone else. It's your job to be objective and expert in session. When you're 'off-duty', not so much 😉

[@madelinebrennan9636]

Yeah, I'm with you.. two empathic, searching, introspective people... you can't help but route for them.

[@YangBalanceYin]

The married women... I really wish them the best. They were the perfect example of how incredibly complicated relationships are.

[@edierhoads5880]

What a great therapist. I really love her observations and I can tell she cares about these people even though they are strangers. Good person, period.

[@hotsauce0606]

Damn this makes me feel all types of ways. I found it really level-headed, educational, healthy, and emotional. I couldn’t help but feel for the ones who were wanting to get back together with their exes, or still had feelings/a door open in their heart. I think while I’ve closed doors on past relationships in my head, I’ve always held onto emotional connections I’ve had with exes. Even just a sliver, a glimmer of love for a past lover like that fairytale thought “but what if we end up together?” Or maybe it’s just this video making me nostalgic and emotional that caused this thought to come up. I think that might be the case. Regardless, I really liked this video and it brought me inward emotionally once again, in a way I haven’t felt in a while. It’s like viewing my feelings and emotions from a really healthy lens, rather than the mess and wild way my emotions tend to run wild. It’s really growth oriented which is how I try to carry myself individually and in my relationships. Growing, developing, learning and becoming healthier than the start I was given. Love y’all out there on this same journey of growth and love ❤️

[@Allslove]

I love she reiterated how important to gadge the questions so that the conversation is productive

[@Markaylaa0]

Shoutout to all the therapists of color. Makes me happy. ❤

[@lexioko]

15:16 I actually cried here bc wow, “I think you’re really beautiful” wasn’t what I expected

[@kiravideos.5353]

Watching a therapist cringe and react the same way I am is gold lol

[@virginiasweets5530]

Their grace, accountability and kindness towards eavj other is everything

[@Giggivieh]

I just found this and love the way she unravels so many little details most people will likely miss! You just got a new subscriber! Best wishes from Germany. You rock!

[@krystalkarlie706]

She’s so intelligent and I love listening to her commentary

[@cyclone7434]

This made me happy to know my boyfriend and I are in a good healthy relationship.

[@cooliegyal3919]

This Dr has a plethora of knowledge, there is so much wealth in her analysis!

[@andedom]

This documentary… or whatever… is really interesting and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts/insights!

[@onemillionpercent]

she is a wonderful therapist. she seems to really get People.

[@paulaleon8950]

im sorry, but i busted out laughing when you just paused and said "painful" 😂

[@Steadynow666]

Man said his spunk uno. If you’re from the U.K., you already know how wild that sounded first time hearing it off the bat

[@MistyAnime]

i did laugh at that

[@Vexed711]

Even in the US it sounded crazy 😂

[@heiseili9279]

spunk is slang for c*m too in USA. just not the main one used. rarely used around where I live.

[@JADEROBINSON-i5x]

Me and my ex broke up around 6 months ago and after watching this i really wish we had a space/mediator like this to have these conversations because we definitely needed them.

[@pandalirious9027]

I had a convo with an ex after a couple years and it was nice. He grew. I grew and we’re friends but don’t talk much. We’re both in healthy relationships.

[@unimai2958]

Can yall make a Playlist of just this therapist? ❤she is amazing 👏🏼

[@Julia-pg9xt]

I love this therapist I would love to see more of her videos!

[@jadawilliams1785]

Go Steph! Go Steph! I absolutely love her skillful review!

[@ThinkerNinja]

Wonderful video and insight. Thank you for making this!

[@MALogan-tc8sh]

I really loved hearing how the therapist thought about the interactions. Really enjoyed the diversity of participants and their relationship types

[@DanielleBaylor]

The first couple reminds me of me and my wife (except there's a bit more emotional maturity). Honestly, I am in the "done" phase. Emotionally exhausted. Really don't know if it's worth continuing.

[@Ayalaula]

I hope you find a way to do what is best for you ❤️

[@c0smecc]

would u say counseling like this would help?

[@DanielleBaylor]

@@c0smecc like the TV show? Definitely not. She's also got some other mental health issues so there's no way that would work. We have tried counseling,, but it never works out. I can't imagine being able to have such a health conversation 😅

[@mrahzzz]

Seriously, seriously appreciate the insight into how friends can have flawed, skewed perspectives on relationships. I have a friend couple who got divorced and some of us heard different things and came to different conclusions, so I'm surprised to find that I actually feel a little validated and like some burden is being removed by hearing Stephanie say that. One of the people in this couple seeks out my friend group a lot to vent and get feedback, and it often feels awkward or frustrating or dishonest or just difficult, like the relationship is being put in some of our hands to make or break, instead of a place where we can help our friend be honest with themselves or their ex and see things from a more wholistic lens. I'm struggling with the line of helping the one ex who seems to need a place to vent, validate them, while also trying to be honest and fair with both and acknowledge that I don't have the ability to help - I'm not a therapist and don't really _know_ their relationship. That's a burden I didn't fully identify I was carrying, even though i've been feeling frustrated with the situation. It's nice to feel validation that I _don't_ necessarily have the answers it can feel like the one friend is looking for, and have a therapist say asking friends may not be the most productive route (removing my burden of feeling like I need to give these friends productive feedback). Who knew I'd get therapy from hearing Stephanie talk about therapy 😭😭🥲

[@matthewmooon8185]

I study relationships from the communicative perspective and I'm very interested in relationship dissolution so this was amazing content for me 👏🏼

[@deersillidk1229]

OMG I like your chanel so much, even tho found it about an hour ago. I don't even in a relationships, and never was, but all this information is so helpful - i started to think, how this can be me, what triggers I have and how it can be explained to the partner right befor or after rough time. This video make me cry (interracial couple are so real and sweet, that I see myself in each of them, wanting to hear such things from someone, anyone)

[@U-Gozoo]

My husband and I need this lady as a therapist..

[@lavinder11]

Blonde lady was done. It's interesting that she said he never told her he loved her. Anyway, hopefully her ex accepts it.

[@KatzeDerNacht22]

Amazing content!! I am glad KZbin recommended this to me!!!

[@SnowFoxParty]

I dont know how people are in on again off again relationships and then end up married - how??

[@mazzyg6186]

I could never be your client. Your voice is so lovely and soothing I’d fall asleep 5 minutes into the session! 😂

[@Dexdlysins_]

This was nice, interesting , and reflective. Definitely look forward to more of these videos.

[@Marzkep]

Love watching you talk about communication.

[@CiaraCeli]

I love these videos so much!!! would love to see more therapists analyzing these kinds of videos

[@LittleRum]

"with head comes variety" 😂 that was gold

[@CG-qk1zs]

😭

[@elizabethlucas5450]

I'm working towards being a therapist, and my hardest challenge is watching my friends hurt in their lives and their relationships. And sometimes I wish they could have these conversations with their partners and themselves, so I think it's great to see these conversations and to make a video about these conversations where it's not always going to end how we want it to.

[@Inari368]

I just know she's a damn good therapist.

[@grownupgoth]

This is eye opening thank you Stephanie!

[@waiterider]

this will probably never happen ( realistically) but i really wish i could do this with a recent ex of mine. we were in a short but incredibly tumultuous relationship. he treated me terribly throughout it but i loved him very deeply and it has affected me in many areas of my life. I don't even want him back, but i would really want to be able to have a calm and honest discussion about each other and the relationship

[@healinghashis]

I get wanting that but sounds like that person isn’t capable of that. After all, if they were, the relationship wouldn’t have been tumultuous. You could try an exercise where you have a made up conversation with him in your head. When applied to parenting trauma it’s called “re parenting” and essentially you replay things in a way that would have been ideal to try to heal.

[@waiterider]

@@healinghashis thank you so much, i really needed to hear that. I'll practice this whenever i feel the urge to resolve my hurt

[@sarahc3283]

I’m so sorry to hear that. I can understand the want for closure. I think one thing that has helped me is to focus on yourself, and what you learned from it - not why your partner did this, or treated you this way. I’m not saying this to minimize what you went through - quite the opposite. You have gone through enough, and deserve to reserve your energy for yourself, your present and future self. Your past self did the best she could and tried to give the best of herself, in good faith. We may never know why others do things, and that’s okay. You don’t need their explanation - you are enough. Look up radical acceptance. It helps me to let go of the suffering whenever I feel bad about the past.

[@M3lCHOR]

Narcs will never be honest

[@amberpalmer3708]

Yay Steph! So proud of you

[@Nando_Disco]

This therapist is awesome! She really gets into the nitty gritty and pulls it right out.

[@thebotanicalden8468]

Thank you for this video. It really helped me to view some things I may doing and what has happened in past relationships. Just really appreciated the info and thought put into this. ❤