Therapist reacts to How Could You Leave Us by NF

Therapist analyzes the lyrics of How Could You Leave Us by NF to discuss the pain of losing someone and the complexity of grief, especially when losing someone to addiction. Taylor invites listeners to use the song as a way to process their many layers of grief and to sing the parts that they are working through the loudest.
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#nf

[@zziggsofficial1930]

You HAVE to listen to "Mama". Its like a sequel of How Could You Leave Us where NF has got a whole new perspective on this topic and forgives his mother.

[@elizabethdunford5423]

This!!!!❤

[@madsg6365]

Agreed, "Mama" is a MUST listen after this.

[@williamdrake6711]

actually, have you not listened to his MOMENTS album, the song MISS YOU is about his mom also

[@YorkshiremanReacts26]

I remember when I reacted to this and mama one after the other because I had a similar experience in my life except with a cousin not my mum. It’s such a heavy song, and so is mama, but it’s emotional in a different way.

[@andybrown1002]

I haven't listened to NF since Hope dropped, I'm gonna have to give Mama a listen

[@paulgray3746]

I'm not sure if anyone's mentioned it yet but when he was recording this he made everyone else leave the studio and he broke down and shared all that and left it in the song. I love listening to your perspective and I enjoy your reactions keep up the great work. And don't stop going down the NF rabbit hole. It's an amazing journey.

[@Rex-qv5lc]

I was coming to comment this!!!!!

[@r5tbassboosted848]

@@Rex-qv5lcsame

[@Scientist]

I showed this song to my mom and it helped quit her addiction to pain killers. Such a beautiful artist.

[@adammac6132]

happy for you. this is the best outcome for the pain of this song! Cherish her!

[@scotter23]

Listen to Mama. Written years later. He’s forgiven her. He’s grown. What an amazing character arc for NF we get to see. It’s profound incredible art.

[@AustinRyann]

Shout out to the older siblings that are stuck with the trauma and stepped up to protect the younger ones from having to deal with the worst of it ✊

[@TS7S7]

Absolute truth

[@OverboardDM]

Here I am a grown man at 51 crying and I've heard it mant times

[@lerealnick]

Trying to hold it in. Breaks my heart every time

[@XlUFCweemanX]

Nf is the only artist that's made me cry from their music absolutely love everything he's released

[@Andrew-ct1vc]

Same

[@morganqorishchi8181]

If this didn't make someone cry or at least get sad I'd be very concerned, honestly.

[@travis6359]

The courage that NF showed by laying open this kind of pain and grief is....mind blowing. My line is, "What you don't realize and what you're not grasping, that I was nothing but a kid that couldn't understand it! I ain't gonna say that I forgive you cause it hasn't happened!"

[@corybengston6465]

Props for not crying your eyes out. I break down every time I watch it. I've watched it hundreds of times.

[@markb4021]

Same

[@joelstitzer7199]

Same

[@BigMuddyCountry]

I am 40 and I cry every time I hear this song still.

[@berlyngrey9242]

Seriously I will never know how some people are able to contain that enough to have that empathy and compassion but not cry. I've never been one of those people I cry for others

[@jennujor1551]

Nate was 18 when his mom died 😢💔 ...when you listen to Mansion again, his regret about his mom...it'll hit differently now after having heard this one. Heartfelt reaction thank you.

[@caitlingreen7355]

I strictly only listen to this song if I’m watching a reaction, I do not listen to it on my own anymore period. At the end where he is talking to his mom he cleared the studio out and asked to be left alone. It was literally just him only in the vocal booth just talking to him mom 😭 I agree do Mama next! It doesn’t mess the journey up but it is a good closure after this song.

[@runyunhyde4373]

We all know someone who needs to hear this song.

[@LordNelsonkm]

I have a friend, very well off, on top of the world successful, but his wife started to divorce him due to her poisonous girlfriends and lifestyle, then she died, his only son has betrayed him, and now he's spiraling and poppin'. I really hope I don't lose him. Money does weird things to people.

[@andybricks576]

​@@LordNelsonkm As a friend, be there for them if or when they're willing to talk about things. It sounds like your friend needs some support. At some stage in life we all need support for other's & at this moment it sounds like your friend needs help, maybe you could ask a professional for some advice on how to deal with your friends situation whilst looking after your own needs

[@ii5139]

"Sing the line that you need the loudest" - this happens to me every time I listen to Hope, sometimes I sing with "Demon-Nate", sometimes I sing with "Hope-Nate"

[@ScottM436]

I didn't lose my mom to pills, but everything else in the song hits home. She would say she was coming to get us a lot but never showed. Then, eventually, she never came back at all. I don't know where my mom is. I haven't seen her since I was 7. I really don't know if drugs were an issue. I never asked my dad. The part where he says,' How can I miss something that I never had?' is such a perfect line for the people who feel it. My mom chose not to be with me, so when I was younger, I would think, what did I do wrong that my own mom doesn't love me? I'm probably 10-15 years older than NF, and I still have abandonment issues. I tell myself it doesn't bother me anymore, but it does.

[@HeartSupport]

From JBrach: @ScottM436 Thank you for your vulnerability and openness. NF is so real for his lyrics and sharing of such a difficult relationship, and while I am not glad you had to go through that pain to be able to relate, i am glad you found understanding in his lyrics. You are not alone. Abandonment is a wound that cuts so deep because it goes to the innermost core of our identity. When I have felt abandoned by someone who was supposed to be there for me, it impacted me very strongly as well. Healing from abandonment is hard because we have to begin by choosing ourselves even if someone else didnt give us the love we deserve. But where NF landed with it, "how can I miss something I never had" can maybe bring some acceptance for things being the way they are. Your mom failed you, deserted you, and you may not know it any other way. However, it is the way it is. You said you have thought "what did I do wrong that my mom doesn't love me?" Well let me just nip that lie right here right now if any of it lingers. You did do anything wrong to make her leave. It was her own issues and struggles that made her make that decision. You are worthy of love, acceptance, and support. I am so sorry that you had to feel that abandonment and loss. Know that us at HeartSupport are here for you and rooting you on!

[@HeartSupport]

From bmao: @ScottM436 Thank you for opening up and for being so honest. I'm so sorry that your mom chose to abandon you. A mother that abandons her child is antithetical to the definition of a mother. A mother is supposed to care for her child, she is supposed to nurture her child, and she is supposed to support her child throughout her entire life. I'm so sorry that your mother exhibited none of these traits. This must have felt like such a betrayal- the woman you relied on deserted you. I am so sorry for you and my heart goes out to you. Growing up without a mother must have been a daily struggle. It only makes sense that you would wonder what you did wrong to deserve abandonment. Especially as a child it is so hard to wrap your head around the fact that your mother is no longer in the picture, and that feeling of abandonment cut deep, leaving a lasting scar. Though you may have wondered what you did to deserve abandonment, I hope you know that your mother's decision was in no way your fault. You did not have a role in her decision. That was a choice that she made and that she is responsible for. She removed herself from a wonderful child and that is her loss. It is okay to still feel the pain, but know that you have no part to play in her bad decisions. You deserve a loving mother and I'm sorry that you were deprived of one. Regardless of her actions, you still deserve love, you still deserve to feel worthy, and you still are an amazing human being. Thank you for sharing and we are always here if you need to open up more.

[@TheJgolfw]

I was 11 last time I saw my mom! Never sober! Mama is a great next song!

[@casonsorandom]

praying for ya

[@brittanylang5222]

My boyfriend unalived himself in January. He took every pill possible because he couldn’t handle his pain anymore. This song has been on repeat with me since then. NF captures grief so much well.

[@HaraQuinn]

virtual BIG hug. i was almost in your situation during college with an abusive ex who would weaponize unaliving himself to control me b/c i have a family history losing many people to such an awful thing, so i take it very seriously. Then one day after 4 years it became so overbearing while i was bartending where we weren't allowed to use our phones and he started the abusive behaviour again and i just said "go ahead, good riddance". when i finally went home to the apartment we shared, my chihuahua was barking like crazy.. and i 100% thought my ex had OD'ed on our couch. I called the paramedics immediately going into a dissociative/vertigo state where i just remember flashes. tl;dr they saved his life through pumping his stomach. but at the cost of triggering my own genetic markers into severe ptsd.. but one thing ill never forget is a paramedic telling me i did good b/c had i been 2 mins later, it'd been too late. that number still haunts me. 2 mins. thats a red light. thats an extra few mins i couldve spent speaking to a co worker. and not to mention, i was the one who felt all the guilt for my text as this paramedic was trying to say i did good when i felt like a complete monster. my ex went into a forced 6 month clinic, and my mental health plummeted. Now i understand after years of help that it was not my fault and i had been a victim of mental abuse for over 3 years. but at the time. i was shattered in guilt for months. i wish you a safe recovery from such a trauma. i truly do. ❤❤

[@Chaoticdisc]

So sorry for your loss🤍 I hope you can find comfort in things like music

[@ideitbawxproductions1880]

I feel you, Brittany. I lost someone I really loved in January, too. She was a sweet woman, but she was in a lot of pain physically and emotionally. My emotions have been all over the place since then. Some days I'm OK, other days I'm a total mess. We had our share of issues together, but I'll always remember the good times we shared together. I miss my Ker-bear ❤❤❤😢

[@brittanylang5222]

@@ideitbawxproductions1880 I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s definitely not easy. Sending you all of my love ❤️

[@brittanylang5222]

@@Chaoticdisc thank you ❤️

[@josheddie7622]

Songs in order you should listen to Therapy Session album Real Perception album (you could listen to this entire album every track is incredible) Intro III (sequel to Mansion) Outcast Let You Down Remember This Outro The Search album Change Nate Only Interlude/Hate Myself (the interlude is an intro to Hate Myself) Why Trauma Hope album Hope Mama Bullet Mistake Running

[@cypumpkin]

More like every track possible but this is good

[@willasacco9898]

This was another incisive and genuine reaction. Thank you for that. I really look forward to your reactions, since I am moved and educated by you. I have read that, at one point, NF asked everyone to leave the studio and he emoted for around 10 minutes. That was edited down to the crying at the end.

[@berlyngrey9242]

I was an opiate addict for over 20 years. My brother played this song for me and i cried real hard that day as i have 3 children. It took a lot of work and healing but i will have 4 years clean in August. This is a hard one I wanted to add that people ask all the time how could you not want to get clean for your kids dont you love them enough and my only answer was i hated myself more than i had the capacity to love.

[@NathanCline12-21]

The NF songs I most relate to are Nate, Remember This, and Let you down.

[@christopherheck329]

Taylor, your decision to listen to NF's music will, without a doubt, change your life! There are SO many great songs. God has gifted this young man, and has been using the tragedy of him losing his mother, and his battles with depression, anxiety and self-worth to touch thousands upon thousands of hearts and lives! I am a new subscriber because of the reactions you've done, thus far.

[@1977twiztid]

I've heard/watched this song soooooo many times, not one time did I not get at least one tear 😢

[@death_0_048]

The disappearing smile at the start😅, but you should listen to “Mama” next it’s the sequel to this one long period between the two but shouldn’t ruin the journey for you!

[@justAman548]

That smile disappeared in the blink of an eye!

[@pinkmillk]

This song always rips me to shreds. Fortunately, I've never had experience with drug addiction, but my heart still bleeds for those that do.

[@PopsSlem]

Like others have said, you must do the song “Mama” next. This song just came out in his latest album Hope which was released last April. You see tremendous growth in the 7 years or so since he released “How could you leave us”. BOTH songs are amazing, emotional, and inspiring!

[@ericsvoboda8906]

My son listens to this song every time he talks to his mom. Her addiction isn’t pills but hatred and narcissistic abuse her death isn’t physical but in his eyes and in every cps call where he begs for them to safe him from her

[@thevirginslayer5362]

I already listened to this song many times and it never failed to shed a tear.

[@urielgonzalez9832]

Almost lost my mom to overdose on pills. Scarred me for life but I’m glad she’s still here.

[@Lassie-yz2sp]

Honestly really impressed that you didn't cry through this, but i guess it pays off being a therapist :D

[@rhiarebecca2000]

NF makes the most beautiful songs without the need for swearing, doesn’t get many of his songs on radio, think I’ve heard one of his songs on the radio but that’s about it

[@ethandeminter4437]

I lost my mother to addiction many years ago, but the bitterness and pain never leaves. It’s an emptiness that follows you everywhere you go, a void that can never be filled. Now life has come full circle and I am struggling with the same addiction that will probably kill me. This video brought me to tears, thank you for making it. Everyone hug your mommas while you still can.

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @ethandeminter4437 I can't even begin to imagine the depth of the pain you carry. Losing your mom to addiction must have left a wound that feels impossible to heal. That kind of emptiness is like a shadow that follows you around no matter where you go or what you do. It's understandable that the bitterness and pain would stay with you for so long. It’s a constant, silent companion that makes even the good moments feel tainted by sadness. Now to find yourself facing the same battle must feel so very heartbreaking. To see yourselfin the same spiral and trying your best to come out of it. I imagine how much it must have felt as if history is repeating itself in the most painful way possible. It’s like the weight of your family traumas are pressing down on your present, making every step feel so hard. Every day must feel like a fight against the fear and despair that come with the addiction, knowing already what your mom and you have been through as well. There must be so many moments where it feels like you’re suffocating under the pressure, moments where hope seems like a distant memory. It’s as if you’re carrying not only your own burden but the unresolved grief and trauma of your mom’s struggle as well. Thank you so much for being here, friend. For sharing this. For putting your pain into words, and hopefully lift a little bit of the burden with it. Your experience, your emotions, it all matters so much. Right here, right now, I hear you. I see you. I'm rooting for you. -Micro, Haartsupport Staff

[@ethandeminter4437]

@@HeartSupport you probably saved my life tonight by saying this. I have so much respect for this channel since I discovered this video, been liking all your tool content. Thanks you for taking the time to reply, much love to you and everyone struggling out there. Bless you.

[@Blueballon]

this song rips your heart out, stomp on it, put it back broken... and i dont even know an addict.

[@alphamale4182]

Running is one of my favorites from him also miss the days is amazing

[@shawnsop2097]

I miss my father who took his life in 2018 and i wish he was here to meet my kids. I wish i can talk to him as i still need him. He was never perfect but he tried his best and i appetite all that he has done for me.

[@christianwelker7383]

I commend you for keeping it together during the entire song, I know it wasn’t easy. I know this because I literally lose my sh*t every time I listen to it.

[@tengimon]

im a grown man and i have a loving relationship with my mom. still this songs makes me balling. damn

[@nicoleconrad9185]

This song wrecks me every time because I lost my husband to his addiction which lead him to commit suicide and we have 2 kids together ❤️❤️❤️ this song is just absolutely amazing and thank you NF being able to give us a glimpse into your pain which helps me process mine 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@connorelliott8255]

This song gets me every time because i lost my dad to drugs when i was 13.

[@cdubs6706]

And a final comment. This song relates to the first 6-8 (I cant remember) years of me and my 3 younger brothers lives (though ours was more... traumatic...) thank you for your videos.

[@hrisant--Q]

the story behind the outro of this song is that, he asked everyone to leave the studio and he stayed alone with the mic and he poured his heart thru those last few words, and his crying was real.

[@elizabethdunford5423]

You will love so many of his songs!!! Can't wait!! It's been a while since I've been excited about watching a creator discover his journey! 🔥

[@katelynhuffer3707]

The first time I heard this song it dropped me to my knees. It was so real and put words to things I never expressed before. It healed me in some ways too. Like NF was a big brother saying it’s okay to feel those things. It’s okay to hurt and it’s also okay to heal.

[@Eye_Rant]

“Why do I feel like I lost something that I never had” This song illustrates how I feel about my mother who died 15 years ago and I haven’t came around to forgiving her I recently have been working on my relationship with god and I know for my sake I need to forgive her but I’m just not there more songs by NF to get u in ur feels “if you want love” “mama” (he forgives his mother “happy” pretty much everything he makes “bullet” I can go on and on but nf is a true ARTIST

[@coleeg69]

Already know this is going to make you cry. That ending part of him crying was actually real like told them to leave the studio, but leave the mics on.

[@DaniGirl95]

I have listened to this song so many times throughout the years. I still blubber like a baby everytime I hear it.

[@jjfriend2358]

Living this in real life hurts and hearing this song ever time makes me ball like a baby living it is a lot harder than people think it took years of therapy and depressants to get me over it

[@joshcampbell5425]

You gotta listen to "Mama" on his new album its basically a sequel to this once he found his inner peace of mind and coped with his past or at least is working on it

[@LightOrange23]

Nf has helped me a lot through the years. Back in 2017 I oversosed while listening to this song

[@carlosbrown9144]

If you didn’t know when NFL did this in the studio he was actually crying and it was such an amazing tender moment they decided to leave that in there which is why u hear the little cries

[@michaelcobb1341]

Let You Down is a very relatable song for many

[@NLIGHTOfficial]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE listen to "Mama" its like his next letter to her it made me cry I was a kid abandoned by my biological father. I never knew him because he chose drugs over me. This next song helped me forgive him It's also the reason why I started rapping it meant i could use music to move on

[@badsabre5917]

I clicked the second I saw this reaction up. This hurts deep. I didn’t lose my mom to pills she was just never able to be a real mom after a while. I’m sure it was a hard being a single mom to three kids but it felt like she chose to put all of her focus into one.

[@HeartSupport]

From runner12: @badsabre5917 Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing! We appreciate you being here and opening up! You sound like a great person who is compassionate and empathetic despite being hurt by your mom. I admire you for trying to understand her situation. I feel your pain and it’s completely understandable and valid. It sounds like she focused on one of your siblings and you were put aside or ignored. That’s such a confusing and difficult situation to deal with as a kid. I can relate as I always felt like my parents were disappointed in me and loved my siblings more. As a kid it makes us question what’s wrong with us. But it’s not the kid’s fault, it’s the circumstances of the parent or due to things they are struggling with at the time. It took me a long time to forgive my parents, but once I did it freed me from the emotional baggage I was carrying around. It didn’t mean what they did was ok, it just meant I didn’t take it personally anymore and I was able to see myself differently. I pray you are able to see and appreciate your value and worth as a person and that the pain you feel that runs deep heals. We’re in this together. You are never alone!

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @badsabre5917 I'm so sorry, friend. What you describe is indeed such a painful wound to carry on with you. To have a mom that was present physically, but to feel emotionally that there was this complete disconnection that didn't allow you to feel loved, supported and cared for while you grew up. I personally relate to what you describe, as my mom had her own struggles too, and I experienced throughout my life this disconnection with her. It's hard to know rationally that your parent is there, but that in practice they're also not "available" for you. It's even more hard to convey this to others and make your pain understood as people see her, see that you have a mom, and may not fully grasp the actual reality of your relationship. It's a situation that makes you feel like being forced to witness someone you love sinking away from you, while feeling helpless and having no way to change the situation. You are in front of them with open arms but they keep on living a life where you are not acknowledged the way you needed the most, the way you should have been seen. It's so hard to experience this as a child, and it's something that sticks to your skin as an adult. It's the kind of situation that makes you question your own value, and if ultimately you're even worth to be loved. Sending much hugs your way today as you keep on processing and mourning this loss. Know that it doesn't remain invisible to us here. I see you. I hear your pain. You are not alone, friend, and you will never be defined by the way your parents did or didn't look at you. :heart: -Micro

[@tjboylan20]

This songs always cuts me deep, My mom was a really bad smoker, for my 7th birthday I asked for her to quit, she did, but as a result she became addicted to Xanax, she quit, became an alcoholic, after 13 years she became sober, but only after the cigarettes caused heart problems, the alcohol caused her liver to near fail, her body doesn’t properly function, my whole life has been dealing with my parents dealing with substance abuse, now I can’t even smell anything without getting PTSD

[@HeartSupport]

From toastaintbad: @tjboylan20 Hi @HeartSupport_Fans, I'm so sorry about your mother. Your mother is quite a fighter to stop smoking, quit drugs, and become sober. I'm super proud of your mother. It must have been really hard for her to fight addiction. Your mother is super grateful for you taking care of her health. I have a few questions for you. What made your parents start overdosing drugs & alcohol? Why does your mother smoke at lot. There must be a reason for your parents dealing with substance abuse. Are your parents seeing some mental & health professional to get treated for substance abuse? Can your parents join in a support group with substance abuse? I'm not forcing you and your parents something if you don't want to. It's your choice and I respect on whatever decision that you make. PTSD is hard for people to overcome and people get treated for many ways. I struggle with trauma so I can relate with the triggers. I always found ways to relax from something that gave me a flashback. What helps you calm down during PTSD? I hope you are doing okay too.

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @tjboylan20 Yea, it's really hard when a significant part of your life has been spent seeing your parents being addicted to various substances and trying to encourage them to stop. You see them destroying themselves, their body, suffering yet also trying to be the parents they aspired to be, which is heartbreaking. There is no doubt that your voice was heard at the time when you asked your mom to stop smoking, and I'm sorry that what followed happened to be a series of bad news related to her substance abuse. So many often one would trade an addiction for another, for it's hard and particularly scary to attend the needs and hurt that are present behind it. At the same time though, these actions hurt the people around them, and it must have been so heartbreaking for you to witness all of this as you grew up. It's like substances have been repeatedly robbing your parents away from you while you need them the most. Then acch time sobriety was present, you could get closer together, but when a relapse occured or the consequences of the addiction hit your lives, it felt like being brought back to same place all over again. I can only imagine how it must have felt for you like constantly moving a couple of steps forward with your parents, then a couple steps backwards, over and over. It's hard to feel like you're finally on walking on a clean path, then it gets darkened by relapse or bad news. It's the kind of experience that deeply shakes your sense of safety in this world, as it feels like there's always something bad coming up next. It makes sense to still struggle with the impact it had on your life, and to feel unsafe with anyting reminding you of the cigarettes or alcohol. It's a reminder of pain that feels haunting, and I hope you manage to cope safely when those triggers hit. You have been undoubtedly very strong for navigating all of this as a child, and for choosing to share your story today too. Thank you for being here, friend.

[@theplaguepadart3743]

@heartsupport The first time i heard this song it broke me. My father passed away when i was 12 from alcoholism & this song perfectly puts how i felt for so much of my life. Blaming it on my self that i wasn't "enough" to make him stop. Its only been the past few years where i could forgive and let go of the things i held onto so tightly im 32 now.

[@thatonebooknerd7756]

I lost my uncle to alcohol when I was 14. He was 40. My mom got the call early in the morning right after we got to the high school (she‘s a teacher at my former high school). My 6 year old cousin was the one who found him and my aunt then called my grandparents. I wasn’t as close to him as I wanted to be. Him and I had similar interests. We both loved Marvel and music.

[@JustZombie72]

I hate and love this song it hurts all the time I hear

[@JustinOsmerIV]

I discovered NF through one of your videos recently. So I listened to his essentials playlist on my run today and heard this song and thought, I bet Taylor had a field day with this one. Wasn’t let down. Great song and insight on your end

[@backyardrailroader]

My Mom was addicted to cigarettes. Went thru a Carton of Winstons every six days. Even when she went into the hospital and given 'The Nicotine Patch' she was constantly moving her right arm up and down like she was putting a cigarette to her mouth and back down for a few days. It kept on going downhill from there.....

[@jerimenolan4809]

Next comes copd and the oxygen machine, followed by panic attacks that increase in frequency causing ER visits that eventually convince her that she can't live without a steroid inhaler. Rinse & repeat until the cigarettes push her past the point of no return. 😢

[@joealdrich6919]

@heartsupport my dad died when I was 13. It wasn’t something he could control, but this song HURTS. I didn’t know how to grieve for probably 10 years

[@HeartSupport]

From toastaintbad: @joealdrich6919 Hi @HeartSupport_Fans, I'm sorry about your dad loss. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's okay to grieve as long you want. When my grandparents passed away, it took me 4-6 years to moved on. Your dad from heaven doesn't want you to be sad for too long. He wants you to be happy and enjoy your life to the fullest. Music is so universal and people interpret different ways. Sometimes there are certain songs that hit way too close home for me.

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @joealdrich6919 So sorry for your loss, friend. Grief certainly follows its own pace, one that can be hard to follow at times. At some point 10 years must have felt like a second, but also a thousand years at the same time. It's so hard to feel the distance growing with the person we lost because of time that keeps going on, yet still feeling their presence being so very real in our heart, as if we just talked to them yesterday. Your dad certainly holds a special place in yours. Somehow, he keeps being by your side, even through all of this. :heart:

[@sayalexx9379]

this is one of my top favorite NF songs. this song made me realize im not the only one going through the situation with my moms passing sat a young age

[@Anna_M96]

My mom is addicted to pills and meth, she abandoned me and my brothers when I was three months old, my brothers 3 and 4. My whole childhood I tried my hardest to have a relationship with my momma. She was very inconsistent my whole upbringing. It led to what I’d call early alcoholism by age 17. I started working at this gas station after I had my oldest son at 20, my mom came in, bought beer, cigarettes, and a lottery ticket FROM ME and didn’t even recognize me. I have four kids now, and I understand that addiction is addiction, but I could not at all imagine letting ANYTHING keep me from loving these children.

[@thatonedude1003]

Every time I watch a new reaction to this song (which is often), I bawl my eyes out. It is pretty much the rawest song from a hurt child to a parent ever penned. I hate and love this song with an extreme passion. Great reaction as always my friend.

[@scotter23]

We were waiting for you to get to this one

[@WolfmanXD]

I lost my dad late last year to addiction. He died of 4 different cancers caused by tobacco, alcohol, and drug abuse. Unfortunately my story with my dad is very similar to NF's with his mom. So this song hits me extremely hard, but I'm also not in the place yet where I can forgive him like NF did.

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @WolfmanXD It's understandable to feel like it's hard to forgive your dad, my friend. And it's a valid reaction. There is something profoundly unfair in losing someone we love already. But it's yet another injustice when it feels like your own parent was too far gone before they died. Losing them physically feels like losing them a second time, and it's almost impossible to not think about how life could have been if the narrative was different. It feels like being abandoned while they were alive, and it can bring so much powerlessness to your heart. Of seeing them trapped in a cycle of substance abuse, of raw pain, while feeling like you can't do anything about it. It's so hard to see someone you care about destroying themselves, even if on their side it feels like the only way to survive. It's even more painful when it's a parent, someone you look up to as a child, someone you *need* by your side. It hurts to experience what it feels like to have a parent who is not emotionally available for you, to see your own parent walking around at home with their own demons. There might be a time when forgiveness will feel right for you. Personally, I've started to experience forgiveness for my parents when I realized that it was something that I would do for me. I'm not there yet either, but foresee how freeing this position can be. There is a right time for everything though, and it's okay if now is not it. I hope that, you know it doesn't make you a bad person if you can't forgive or even resent your dad at times. It doesn't change your love for him either. Somehow, it's two sides of the same piece, and it says the same thing. Sending hugs your way. :heart: -Marie-Anne

[@BushmasterBrackett]

I lost my mom in May. She OD'd. My sister and i begged her to stop. We made her listen to this song to show her how it felt for us. It didnt do any good. 😢

[@sebastianmichael4129]

Addiction in the family is a hard thing to watch. It tears them down. It turns people into they aren't and it is a trap. You lose yourself in it, and disaster is all that it leaves behind.

[@steviewattz]

I see others have said the same but you need to react to NF's song Mama next. How could you leave us was the conflict, Mama is the resolution. It will bring tears too but a different kind of tears.

[@badazz2969]

I relate too this song in the way of my grandmother. She BARELY made it from this addiction to pain pills. I remember growing up going to get ice cream and then go to the park together, the public pool etc, but when i turned 12 she got into a car accident and the rest is history. She was put in icu due too several complications from pills when i was 20. I remember the doctor telling me she has 3 days left as im standing by her side. This couldve easily been this song for me till the end. But shes a tough old bird and made it out the other side. She went through extreme withdrawals under medical detox and she is clean today, no methadone or anything and im proud of her. I pray no one ever has to go through what NF and i went through..she was my second mother truly. Stay safe yall.

[@Darkhunter2121]

My mom battled kidney failure for five years and died two weeks after my grandfather and two months before I graduated film school and just after I was diagnosed with a rheumatic condition in 2018 and then my dad died of lung cancer in 2021 both before 60 years old and now I’m trying to do my best to not end up like them so I know about grief it’s one of the rawest emotions a human with a soul can feel

[@La_Ke]

Now if you listen to Mansion again you'll notice something. There is a line where he says: "I look around, one of the worst things I wrote on these walls Was the moment I realized that I was losing my mom One of the first things I wrote was, "I wish I woulda called" But I should just stop now, we ain't got enough room in this song". I love how frequently he references other songs, it makes it extremely replayable

[@privateclutch999]

“Don’t know if you hear me or not, but if ur still watchin, WHY?” Into the chorus had me in tears… and this ain’t even my first time hearing it 😭😭

[@russfocht4270]

NF is my absolute favorite artist.. I’ve been listening to since his moments album Nathan Feinstein

[@VJayde]

lost my grandpa suddenly to a heart attack and i have grieved for 7 or so years and i havent been able to get over it so this song hits hard. i recently got therapy for the years of trauma

[@ericbennett1253]

This song/video was so powerful that the first time I watched it I woke up thinking about it the next morning. It was heavy. I can't even personally relate to his situation but it was just the realest and rawest song that I had ever heard. I have all of his CD's and have seen every music video. There isn't anyone like him imho. "Real Music" is the truth.

[@COOLJEDI1220]

I’ve listened to this song so many times and now I’m seeing it through a different perspective. That’s why I love your videos

[@Wolfandthesea]

This song makes me cry every single time it breaks my heart

[@camg999]

The first 5 times I listened to this song I cried

[@andybricks576]

Addiction is a symptom for what's really going on underneath, it's a quick fix "band-aid" because if the real problem isn't addressed you'll never be able to stop the addiction.

[@rodgersmith6891]

Great reaction. Yeah, you should definitely check out "mama" to see how his perspective has evolved over the years. Also hope you react to "Hope," "motto," and "Running". Also, still hoping that you will drop a reaction to Ren's "For Joe" since it's the second part or sequel to "suicide"

[@snw7]

I see others have suggested it, but I must echo their suggestion: you have to check out Mama - it is such an amazing song and really shows NFs growth.

[@anthonybaldwin555]

Thank you for this reaction! Can you please do Therapy Session next by NF? It’s so powerful.

[@Cat-Lover87]

when i first saw this video of his i couldnt make it through without crying

[@BitTalk44]

When my school was having a football game, my cat died. The line that I would sing the loudest would be “they found you on the floor”

[@bucketheadkfc]

The Therapist is unwilling/unable to express true emotions. That's probably a good trait to have for a therapist tbh. I've watched this music video hundreds of times, because I thought that I would eventually not cry...I failed.

[@nunocouto6297]

Amazing reaction! There's is no more words to say. This song is just something that we can feel deep in our hearts. A big hug 🫂

[@artistdq]

Love your view and this song is hard for sure. Keep it going sis speak hope.

[@bethrich9602]

NF is absolutely amazing…….. he’s come so far since losing his Mama…… he has a beautiful wife and 2 beautiful children…… not that I am suggesting that you skip the journey but you should really do “Mama” off his latest album “Hope” ……. It will give you some closure on this song in his journey….. great reaction ❤

[@jarretthughes963]

I've heard this song 100+ times and cry like a baby every time I've 'lost' my mom to pills and I scream this song Everytime I hear it

[@MadduxDanaher-g1o]

yeah you need to listen to mama it relates to this one so much and changes how you think about NF

[@hunnaspain18]

I know no one will probably see this but I am a two time survivor of suicide and Addiction this song broke me took me back to being under the knife!! I still struggle and I’m only 19 this world is cruel

[@HeartSupport]

From GaryYounOG: @hunnaspain18 Hey, I'm really sorry to hear about the struggles you've been facing. It's incredibly tough to deal with both suicide attempts and addiction, especially at such a young age. Hearing how a song resonated with your experiences so deeply shows just how powerful and moving music can be in touching our deepest emotions and memories. I'm also 19, and while our experiences might differ, I understand how overwhelming and cruel the world can feel when you're struggling with such intense challenges. It's a lot to carry, especially when you're still so young and figuring out life. Please know that it's okay to feel broken by these experiences and to struggle with them-it shows your strength in facing them. You're not alone, even though it might feel that way sometimes. There are people who care and support systems that can help. I'm here if you ever need to talk or share more about what you're going through. I hope you continue to find moments of peace and healing along your journey.

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @hunnaspain18 This world can without a doubt appear to be very cruel. My heart goes out to you, friend. It's scary to feel like we are somehow forced to navigate and find our way in a world that feels utterly unsafe and unfriendly. I remember when I was 19, I was absolutely feeling the way you do, and somehow I was carrying this heavy sensation of having lived several lives in one already. I wasn't looking much for my future as it felt like I was exhausted already while being just on the starting line. I can only imagine how it feels for you and how it must seem to be like life is this neverending battle. From my 31 yrs old now, I can only tell you that life gets better and different as we go and as long as we keep surrounding ourselves with the right people and the right support. Despite these dark days that you've known so far, you are still here my friend and is such a huge, huge strength. It may not feel like this, but the time you give yourself - to heal, to process the things you feel, to try and give permission to try on living - are going to be the best allies and crutches to use. I can assure you that there is more to this life than the struggles you've been carrying with you, and although we can't promise or know when things will get better, there is absolutely no doubt that YOU have the resources and fire within to heal, find your way and live the life you desire to get. This life is messy, but you will be able to paint a picture out of it that suits *you*. I wholeheartedly believe in you, friend. You got this.

[@perfectlyoddcouple2009]

Regardless of the conversation, just know a person will hide the truth. We all experience drama and issues in life. Some can hide grief more than others.

[@AlwaysBeSmiling]

new sub.....here for best artist on the planet.......love your reactions!

[@chriskindstedt2298]

Walking through his journey and seeing how he processes and works towards healing and health is phenomenal. I look forward to seeing you walk through this journey. I would encourage you to fight the urge to hope to the end (latest album) but to travers his process of healing.

[@matthewserpa934]

I hate the way I remember you is the deepest lyric NF has ever spoken

[@InimitaPaul]

My best friend growing up, his mum palmed him off of her parents, which is how he came to be my neighbour. We hung out all the time and once he took me to where his mum actually lived, it wasn’t even half an hour from where we lived on the bus and she never went to see him. What his grandparents told him was that she’d got married and started a new family and she didn’t want him ruining it, we were 12 and I didn’t know what to say other than to take him somewhere else and get in some trouble to take his mind off it. We weren’t the best behave kids but nothing terrible. A year later I was expelled from school and sent to a boarding school on the other side of the country and we didn’t get to speak much as it was before mobile phones and the internet. I came home when I was in my early twenties and he’d left to join the army, his grandparents told me he was serving in Bosnia after the Serb/Croat war where thousands of Muslims were murdered and a few years later when I met him again it wasn’t him anymore. He told me, emotionlessly, of the things he seen in graphic detail, we got absolutely hammered and that was the last time I ever saw him. I’ve looked for him online but I don’t think he wants to be found and his grandparents died long ago so… I do hope he found peace.

[@ashleymichelreads]

I don’t think I cried so much to a music video since “the wind beneath my wings”

[@Keevynfisher-ks2dy]

I also ended up being around my moms boyfriends who would abuse her and I still remember coming back inside and seeing her bruised and bleeding all the time while she was pregnant with my sister

[@kodygentry3152]

I can't wait after she's watched all these videos by NF. She gets to hope and just catches all the references. That's going to be fun

[@GreazyFCrazy]

Intro III, Trauma, Paralyzed, Mama. Can’t wait for more of your NF (and Ren) videos!

[@timothyenglert]

This song always breaks me

[@timothyenglert]

Damit now I’m crying

[@jfirebird5833]

You're brilliant and your heart shines so bright - thank you for the reacions and so thankful you are on the NF train!!! 🙏🖤🤍