Primary Emotions vs. Secondary Emotions - Skill 7/30 How to Process Emotions

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Improve your mental health with the free course, courses.therapyinanutshell.com/grounding-skills-for-anxiety-stress-and-ptsd

[@evemccollum4954]

This lady helps me every day to rediscover my true feelings after 76 years of not truly understanding why I have suffered from depression all my life. Words cannot express the gratitude I feel thank you E.

[@rcomyns4664]

Thank you Eve, it helps to know I'm not the only mid seventies soul still working through and trying to be happy.

[@DonnaSnyder]

Eve and Grace, Thank you so much for your comments. I'm 66 and been feeling negative about my own delay in coming to these videos and the steps they are leading me to make. Like you, each video I watch makes me feel a little better, a little more at peace. I've been berating myself and shaming myself about the dysfunctional relationship I struggled in and held on to for 9 years after being widowed twice in 12 years. If anyone else brought me concerns of their own along these lines, I wouldn't let them going unchallenged with support. So why can't I release this shame. In some ways, shame is a step forward from the sorrow, despair, fear, and brokenness, helplessness. Thank you, my septugenarian sisters. Let us not criticize ourselves for our delay, but rather rejoice that we are making progress from a life time, in reality, of depression and shame and give thanks for these videos. 💕💕💕

[@ayaelzarka4426]

I recommend you seed mel grand video on meditation for depression. His channel name is goldraytwinflames

[@letsgofishingene]

You are encouraging Eve. Be well. ❤️

[@HauntingGround4ever]

That's when Internet does good things ❤ happy that you can finally work on something to find peace!

[@paromitadesarkar1677]

If only you knew how many people you are helping through your channel and podcast, Dr Mcadam.The gratitude I feel for you is inexplicable.From India.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thanks Paromita

[@robhasenwinkle]

Gratitude is a foundation of Joy and a gateway to becoming a channel or conduit to your understanding of spirituality imo - let your gratitude fill your whole system, body mind and emotions. It's the best.

[@zqxwcevr23456]

Thank you, I did not know she had a podcast.

[@paromitadesarkar1677]

@@zqxwcevr23456 i listen to her podcasts before going to bed. 😊

[@capricecraigmill9926]

YES YESSSSS. I second this immensely. Big hugs and much love.

[@dianelewis9458]

I wish your videos could be shown in schools around the world. ❤️

[@tarabedford8329]

She has stolen, plagiarized, a copyrighted title "Therapy In A Nutshell", from a well known psychologist, Dr. Patricia L. Bay, LMFT, that came up with this name and the therapy behind it, over 20 years ago with her first book, tv show, live radio show, national tour and Spotify podcast! Dr. Patricia Bay, LMFT, has been a psychologist for over 30 years. This woman is misrepresenting the name Therapy In A Nutshell as her own creation when it is not. If you want to follow the real psychologist that came up with the name and helpful guidance behind Therapy In A Nutshell, go to Dr. Patricia Bay's website. Here is the link for it patriciabay.com/. You can also follow the real Therapy In A Nutshell podcast on Spotify. open.spotify.com/show/6RlpicHXBXtcXxi0nbYkRK?si=mLAvJCNwRimTkPWmgmeoag. This person needs to change the name of her business and stop using the title and creation of someone else.

[@ds68889]

@@tarabedford8329 There are other authors with the same title also when I google. I don't think this is a copyrighted word. "Therapy" is what the contents are about, and "in a nutshell" simply means "fewest words possible-aka in summary" , it's not copyrighted and exclusively owned by specific people. Emma is helping people around the world with these content. I am grateful for her work and willingness to share them for FREE. Thank you for sharing Dr Patricia's work too, will check it out. Both of them are helping people to heal. God bless them.

[@Rome274]

Yes absolutely

[@mariaflynn4620]

If only 😮

[@VladTheProfit]

This was super helpful! As a male, it is tough to accept what we initially think is weakness. Once we move past that then we understand growth is the greatest strength that we as humans have

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Love it! Yes! for so long "Being Sensitive" or having emotions has been seen as weak, but it can be a true strength when harnessed

[@sheenphoto]

AHA moment when Emma described a secondary emotion! "... a habitual or learned response to cover up sensitive emotions with a less sensitive emotion." I've been struggling with anxiety and overwhelm ... trying to understand and move past what I was feeling, not realizing they were secondary emotions. What I actually need to work on / heal are the more sensitive emotions sitting deeper within. This series is gold Emma ... thank you so much for your generosity and style of therapy!

[@RiPp1er]

I was successfully able to regulate my emotions today with my view of the world. I used to have feelings of the world being evil. And this made me have a lot of emotions of hate, and bitterness. But However, I counteracted these emotions by stating to myself that my LinkedIn online presence "sanitizes" the world from being evil. Thus now my view of the world is more positive and now I no longer think the world is evil anymore.

[@archetypalmuse]

Bless you for putting this up for free. I've been struggling so much with social anxiety and my self-worth/self-esteem (and I suspect social isolation in this pandemic would tend to worsen those kinds of symptoms), and I can only afford to see my therapist once a month. This series has been providing so much information for me to keep working on changing the way I think about my emotions and myself, core beliefs, etc. These are really well-made and well-explained. Thank you.

[@MsBean02]

Thank you for your comment. I've been struggling with self-worth and self-esteem, and there is something massively helpful about knowing it's not just me!

[@peachyspalace]

I’ve been going through a really tough time since lockdown. I’ve always struggled with anxiety but it has gotten to the point that I have had many panic attacks and even tried to self harm a few times because the emotions were so overwhelming. Where I live therapy is 400$ an hour and free services have crazy wait lists. I was beginning to feel hopeless. I have been watching your videos for a week and your content is seriously amazing! I already feel like I have so many more tools to handle the scary things in life. This is the first time I’ve felt ‘normal’ in a while. Thank you for everything you do!!

[@jesspressterp]

I was wondering why my go to emotion was anger. i just watched this and did eft tapping on my anger and realized growing up with brothers if i wanted to be heard i had to be tough meaning .. get angry! Wow! So the underlying issue is not feeling heard and being trained this was the most effective way to communicate. Loving this series so much!!

[@drpropheteverett9801]

Your wisdom, skill, and experiences is saving my life. You are a conduit that God can do it in my life. You are a blessing that will render a profuse harvest, for you are sowing your skill into a world wide field, helping many people.

[@dryedroses16]

My therapist was doing this with me when I was in a better place a few months back. I think I am ready to repeat this process to get more consistent with moving pass resistance of changes and fears. Thank you so so so much for this friendly reminder to process emotions and feelings!

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Wonderful!

[@helenp7]

This is excellent. I watch one or two every week. It is very difficult to find content of this nature without extraordinary and outlandish claims. A lot of us don’t have the financial stability or time, from necessary overworking (meaning it’s highly likely you will sink financially if you don’t keep doing 12 hour work days) to research resources that are reasonable, well balanced and with a high level of expertise. A thousand thanks and more.

[@acemcplane]

Wow, this is an incredible channel. KZbin is the perfect format for this. Making basic information about therapy free right now during the pandemic is just so helpful. I hope the sponsors are paying you well. I would love it if therapy in general worked based on sponsors and made money like Linustechtips does instead so it's more available to everyone and I actually like this format better too. It's passive and you can go at your own pace. Keep it up!

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thanks :)

[@joanryan2242]

Best video ever..thank you ..now learning to practice feeling my emotions. I keep reminding myself everytime I feel vunerable that its just a feeling and not to deny it rather than trying to supress it. So empowering! God bless you and I always pray to The Holy Spirit who im now sure is working through you.

[@Babyhoneyyomama]

Thanks!

[@samanthaborsato5649]

I took a break from this course after recently going through an extended period of various stress. I feel like I'm ready to take this leap into action more than any other time in my life. I'm tired of the constant anxiety stomach ache, thinking I'm not good enough. Here's to meaningful change!

[@Jess38044]

Coming back to this series is really helping me de-escalate things internally before i explode outward. Thank you for making these available freely here, it's helping me be the person I want to be

[@draapulus]

Partial summary/ Overview 0:00 Intro 0:01 "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." - Yoda 2:07 Sponsor 3:52 Secondary emotions 7:05 Iceberg picture, main and secondary emotions. 7:54 Primary vs Secondary emotions - 4 text snippets in comparison. 9:12 Why secondary emotions are harmful 9:13 Be intentional, know what we’re feeling, explore why we are feeling it and choose what we want to do about it. Acting on secondary emotions may not solve the problems. 12:55 Underlying things from secondary emotions, examples: -Jealousy - Blames others for doing well, protecting you from the responsibility of trying hard, but it leaves you feeling bitter. -Resentment - Protects you from connection and the risk of being hurt, but it leaves you lonely. -Blame - Protects you from responsibility from guilt, but it leaves you feeling helpless. -Hopelessness - Protects you from having to keep trying, but it leaves you depressed. 14:54 Outro

[@TheRealMisterChopShop]

This woman is so awesome thank you

[@adrianvalencia9172]

And ✓✓✓Beautiful!

[@markgrebbell1218]

She's truly amazing

[@TheRealMisterChopShop]

@@markgrebbell1218 A gift from God

[@CJ-ft9yo]

classy, real and intelligent - she is awesome xx

[@marybowman6500]

Thank you for helping me with my major anxiety issues, sorting out my emotions, I listen to you almost every day. I lost my son just for five months ago, and I am processing grief over him… But we’re going to the counselor we’re bringing up other things that have been plaguing me for years… The good Will hunting really hit home… Because I have a lot of abuse in my past… Just thank you and God bless you as you serve God, they serving others!❤😊

[@kaylamorgan4855]

Today, I thought my primary emotion was resentment/annoyance and my secondary emotion was guilt/shame. After some research, it turns out my primary emotion was helplessness/hopelessness due to caregiver fatigue, leading to resentment/annoyance, leading to the tertiary emotion of guilt/shame. @_@

[@akapatience5571]

I understand caregiver fatigue, I feel for you 🌸

[@TheMecca2012]

Again, I love her. I am a therapist in my intern, and these videos have been so great when working with my clients.

[@MrJegerjeg]

Some years ago I went trough a very difficult break up for me. I read on the internet about meditation so I started practicing it. I remember going trough some very painful feelings. Starting with hate, a lot of hate because of the pain she caused me, after that I felt: Shame and embarrashment for giving her for granted and letting her go. It was like peeling an onion with more and more layers of different emotions. One sitting meditation could last a long time and used to leave me emotionally exhausted. It took me such a long time to get over the break up.

[@bismakhan1123]

You deserve so much for posting this series. Majority of us are clueless about our life and things happening to us! You showed us a way. Thank you ❤

[@christineendomitable6358]

Thank you for the essential and life changing, loving kindness shown through this channel. We appreciate your gift to us and we bless those on this path. Team helping the being in the human emerge and flourish.

[@arjunmrao4039]

I am SOOO LUCKY to be able to watch this video .... Thank You .. Great Info Madam.. You are helping me transform my life .. Regulating Emotions are such an important part of our life .. Thank You for teaching me probably one of the most important lessons of my life .. We are sooo lucky to have you with us .. Your kids are so lucky to have you as their mother .... Arjun .. ..

[@JohnPCustoms]

Thanks so much for making these available, Emma. This is one of my favorite videos you've released. The following passage was very poignant and really touched a nerve: "Secondary emotions are all about self-protection, but in the long run they tend to hurt us much more by ruining relationships, keeping our guard up, keeping our heart walled off, and that often leads to people feeling angry, numb, exhausted, and lonely. Secondary emotions lead to more pain and suffering." Being given tools that enable you to be able to identify and label toxic thinking patterns & habits is invaluable. It helps to shine a light on things you never really realized were there inside you.

[@LeahsSong]

I love this therapist, she's amazing and Christian too, fabulous!

[@bismakhan1123]

I didn't know all of this during my worst phases. It is a miracle to see therapy like this. I really want a friend like you who actually soothes you down instead of exhausting and draining you. Thank you so much for this ❤

[@maryboswell6089]

Very informative and helpful. This gives me more hope that my Depression can improve! Thank you for making your you-tube videos and for sharing them with us! Words can not truly express the gratitude I feel.

[@awaywithwords6]

Thank you for this series. As someone who is in therapy, but chronically stressed and a compulsive overeater, this is truly a life saver. I thank you for your generosity.

[@thebackyardhorseenthusiast]

As a certified Gestalt practitioner, specializing in inner child trauma, your videos truly resonate. Much of what you discuss are tools I use in my work groups. Thank you for these videos.

[@MonnaQ]

Thanks!

[@justabroadabroad]

I pay for KZbin Premium so I don't have to listen to ads....this is the first video EVER where not only did I listen to it - i came back to my computer and sat down to listen, i teared up and I clicked the link. Thank you!

[@natnatalie1517]

I just want to say thank you because you are an angel for helping millions of people.

[@dianaraechel]

You have no idea how much you’re loved Emma! You are doing such amazing work that is doing so much good in the world. Thank you!!!!!

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thank you so much!!

[@xavnicely4095]

As a boy, I feared my dad and that fear turned into hate, BUT, I already hated him because he was abusive and I was his targeted victim. He was unemployed and I was homeschooled, so there was no escape. He used me as his personal work slave and he saw no interest in helping me grow for my future. He never saw a future for me. He was my master and I was his dog. I have guilt and shame from the awful things he made me do to myself and the people around me. Im moved out, independently on my own now, but I still have to deal with my mom being the victim of abuse, because shes too scared to leave him, so now I feel guilty for leaving my mom all alone with him. So now as an adult, I have a tornado of Fear, Hate, Guilt, Shame, and everything else when it comes to trauma.

[@Andromeda-md6ch]

I hope you are doing better today.

[@DoReMeaCulpa]

I wanted to pause here for a moment to express my appreciation for what you are providing here. I especially appreciate your calm, measured, matter of fact and kind style and delivery. Thank you. ❤

[@natnatalie1517]

There's is so much information, I'm trying to soak it all in. I've even signed up for better help. I've realized I've been putting off my mental health for a very long time. I can't thank you enough for helping me through this obstacle.

[@aakankshakumari4673]

I just don't know how to thank you, it isn't even a paid course but you cleaned half of my head in them, I really feel cleaner and quieter than before after watching them, practising the exercises and implementing them in my life, they are simply amazing ❤️ thankyouu so much!

[@Peg06]

Thank you for following your vocational calling and helping people across the world. You are making a difference!

[@chloedavis4772]

You are absolutely incredible. You have already changed my life by video 7, and Iove your altruism in making these available for free. Your style of speech and natural flow is remarkable. Bravo

[@ant-lowe2346]

Since I've been, watching videos of this channel I haven't suffered, one panic attack and my life as changed thank you for brining joy? Too the community.

[@brandonmcbroom9209]

I’m learning so much from this channel actually put this into my life situations and I can honestly say I felt better. Of course it’s one day at a time. Hope others get better. -Vet with PTSD

[@paulvega3]

I'm new to this anxiety world and it has defeated me in many ways but I'm fighting back with learning and understanding my emotions. Driving triggers my attacks but I'm about to take off!! Realizing I'm safe.

[@OddinaryOne]

Anyone would be lucky to have you as their therapist ❤️ thank you for these videos

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Aww...thanks

[@KiranSidhu]

You're amazing at what you do & breaking these topics down, I appreciate you, thank you.

[@adrianvalencia9172]

💕

[@tarabedford8329]

She has stolen, plagiarized, a copyrighted title "Therapy In A Nutshell", from a well known psychologist, Dr. Patricia L. Bay, LMFT, that came up with this name and the therapy behind it, over 20 years ago with her first book, tv show, live radio show, national tour and Spotify podcast! Dr. Patricia Bay, LMFT, has been a psychologist for over 30 years. This woman is misrepresenting the name Therapy In A Nutshell as her own creation when it is not. If you want to follow the real psychologist that came up with the name and helpful guidance behind Therapy In A Nutshell, go to Dr. Patricia Bay's website. Here is the link for it patriciabay.com/. You can also follow the real Therapy In A Nutshell podcast on Spotify. open.spotify.com/show/6RlpicHXBXtcXxi0nbYkRK?si=mLAvJCNwRimTkPWmgmeoag. This person needs to change the name of her business and stop using the title and creation of someone else.

[@margaret3239]

Thank you ,this is so timely for me I’m in the house by myself 99% of the time because of this Covid thing and everything’s been intensified this is so helpful .

[@soliloquy222]

This is the first sponsor I have been genuinely thankful for on youtube. You are such a great human.

[@tarabedford8329]

She has stolen, plagiarized, a copyrighted title "Therapy In A Nutshell", from a well known psychologist, Dr. Patricia L. Bay, LMFT, that came up with this name and the therapy behind it, over 20 years ago with her first book, tv show, live radio show, national tour and Spotify podcast! Dr. Patricia Bay, LMFT, has been a psychologist for over 30 years. This woman is misrepresenting the name Therapy In A Nutshell as her own creation when it is not. If you want to follow the real psychologist that came up with the name and helpful guidance behind Therapy In A Nutshell, go to Dr. Patricia Bay's website. Here is the link for it patriciabay.com/. You can also follow the real Therapy In A Nutshell podcast on Spotify. open.spotify.com/show/6RlpicHXBXtcXxi0nbYkRK?si=mLAvJCNwRimTkPWmgmeoag. This person needs to change the name of her business and stop using the title and creation of someone else.

[@soliloquy222]

@@tarabedford8329 oh my god it's such a stereotypical title, there's probably 50 books with that name. "Misrepresenting the name" jesus christ she's literally changing people's lives by sharing her knowledge, and here you are spending your time sulking in the comments. I get very annoyed by comments like these^ they're such a fucking waste of both the writer and reader's time.

[@queernarwhal]

Comment for the algorithm to try to help this reach more people. Thank you for what you do.

[@joshu456]

You have no idea how much this is helping me I can't wait to actually watch the full playlist on my off day thank you so much for saving the world honestly

[@robertnieten7259]

I have been a believer for quite awhile that everybody have primary and secondary motives for everything they do, that people do one for personal fullflment and the other is focused outside of us. For instance, a mother loves her baby and loving in her treatment of her baby. This is outward focused and a primary motive. Her secondary motive is for baby to love her back.

[@sniggah123]

I’ve been learning so much about myself watching you videos! I watch one every morning; it’s part of my routine now. You explain everything so well and it’s helped me learn to process my emotions.

[@PERMAVWellness]

“Shame is one of the other most common secondary emotions, especially among women. If you’re not allowed to be angry at others, it’s easy to avoid or cover up that anger by blaming yourself for your flaws. ... Secondary emotions require a certain amount of numbing. They generally lead to distance and disconnect from our goals, values, and people.” Wow. There’s my inner life (in a nutshell. ;) I want to learn vulnerability and emotional literacy so I can heal, and now I know which direction to go. Thank you, Emma!!

[@jillwagner7118]

Your soul is amazing! I aspire to view my emotions they way you teach us. You’re making the world a better place 🌎 ♥️

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thanks Jill, that's my goal!

[@ggonsg]

You are a gift to this world. Thank you also for caring about this beautiful 🌎!

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Wow, thank you

[@thatgurl101]

I need to thank you from the very bottom of my big ole broken heart for this series ma'am ❤

[@mclorden6185]

More blessing to the creator of this channel it helps me a lot it save my life to become crazy..

[@missamanda_]

I cried during that scene. Very powerful moment.

[@coopersmom8339]

I've been listening her great advice before my bed time and first thing in the morning and it's been wonderful journey to understand myself better specially how to handle irrational emotion that I've been carrying on many many years. Thank you and can't wait to try her online courses!

[@silverjew811]

These videos have been more helpful and educational for me than the last two years of graduate school. THANK YOU!

[@gem2148]

I can't help but only feel anger & hate towards my narcissistic father. You can't soften or be vulnerable with narcissists, they ridicule & exploit you even more. Can you please talk on how to deal emotionally as a victim of an over-critical controlling verbally abusive narcissistic parent?

[@namjesussssss]

Omg same hereeeeee. Stay strong. Hope she sees this comment

[@tonyburton419]

Yes..if you can escape. If not there are some good books on living with folks with these type of personality organisation issues - search Amazon. Sorry you are finding yourself in this position.

[@johnnewell5025]

I spent several years in therapy working on it. Ultimately it didn’t really resolve until he died in late 2019. I realized then that he could no longer hurt anyone. That scene in GWH is part of my history, exactly. The only difference is that he never offered a choice. We went from him whipping me as a young boy to hitting me with metal tools. That and i did find my Sean until I was almost 60.

[@fromtheparkbench1979]

I had a Joan Crawford "Mummy Dearest". (Netflix the movie.) Even after her death I have imaginary scream sessions with her. I try hard to remember I turned out BETTER than them. If you can work on setting boundaries, and making excuses to limit your connection/communication with him. "My bath water is flowing and don't want it to overflow or get cold. Talk to you later.". Don't call until you are strong enough time engage and come out unscathed. Yes, get to the library, and download ANY free book that will help. Try, "Emotional Intelligence." It is a free audio book available on You Tube. It will also help you find your place amongst other personality types too. Good luck.

[@chelseal654]

Highly recommend Dr. Ramani for Narcissism specific advice. She has a KZbin channel as well as two books, one is Should I Stay Or Should I Go. Narcissism is a special animal and she is a specialist.

[@Cloudjump3r]

This is so great! What a wonderful resource, and course. Thank you for creating all of this! ❤

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thanks!

[@missydavis6678]

Im buying the course as soon as i can. This is real skills that i can use. Its even helping me to understand others better.

[@ellapoole4426]

This video got me out of a spiral. Thank you

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

:)

[@peterderun5212]

In my counselling training, I was taught: the presenting problem is usually not the problem. Looks like its true in processing emotions too - the presenting emotion may not be the primary, more sensitive emotion. Interesting!

[@ridhimakathuria1886]

you're changing lives❤️❤️❤️

[@finnajane]

"get fired, run out of food and die" you just hit on my life's biggest fear...funny...but not really joking.

[@ralfwashington1502]

If your not already start to build a nest egg. Save as little as $10 per check or more that is ONLY for emergency. You can create several funds like house payment/car payment, medical emergency, food, ECT or one large savings. Long story long if you know you have money tucked away for a rainy day you will feel less stuck and know you can cover 3 months without a job and pay for needed things. Then you will be more willing to push harder with that safety net.

[@cydneymetz]

Sending you love and peace. You’re doing great. Keep healing

[@Julie-xj1tu]

Get fired and pushing a shopping cart down Dixie Hwy homeless. Biggest fear 😨

[@rhobot75]

This is excellent learning for people healing from Borderline personality traits. As Dr. Daniel Fox talks about, this 1st and 2nd emotional discernment touches on Core Content vs. Surface -- And I'm typing my comment and you just said the word, Surface! Yay! Exactly!

[@KatherineDaltonBrown]

Thank you for sharing your desire to heal openly, making healing accessible to so many 🙏🏽💟☮️

[@heioca9556]

I feel this. Thank you for your videos, very helpful. Always thought I was being strong by shoving emotions under the proverbial carpet, but it's definitely brought me to some deep dark and lonely places and ultimately to weakness. Cheers to living and learning and feeling!

[@kalkdog8809]

When I started this video I wasn't expecting to cry. I already know about primary and secondary emotions but for some reason this hit so hard. Ahhh and that scene...

[@jordanerobert]

Thank you!! So helpful. I love your delivery style and like the sponsorships you choose

[@katllanos9]

Thank you so much for this series, your help and guidance are helping with much needed healing.

[@noerknown]

I heard a Jocko quote "when I am going through the motions, I go through the motions" I think this comes across as white-knuckling things, when really it's just emotional willingness to experience and engage with feelings rather than avoiding them. I've heard people reference this as 'attacking the problem' and from here I hear it as 'accepting or acting' on what bothers us Both good, cool to hear it in different ways

[@santillbrezon2161]

Great channel, you are a very good person, thank you.

[@rmt3589]

May buy the course once I have money. Just came here while doing some research for AI stuff, but this'll help me a lot. Also, was looking for the worksheet, when I saw the link to my church! It's always awesome to find more church family! ⛪👪

[@leslievanderleer5829]

How do you question the underlying primary emotion(s) without going into over-analyzing mode (“where does this come from”), which is another way of avoidance (video 6)? Thanks for the helpful videos.

[@kimberlywilson5329]

The difference is all about coming from a place of curiosity, vs a place of judgmentalness about yourself. If you're asking yourself with the same sincere empathy you would when comforting a friend, then you're just listening, not analyzing. Just noticing. Not making judgment calls abt whether your primary or secondary emotions are "bad" or "good." It's an inner mindfulness where you tell yourself, no matter what, I'm going to be kind to me throughout all this .

[@kimberlywilson5329]

An example could be, Hmm, I wonder where this primary emotion comes from? Vs Where is this primary emotion coming from?!? In the first question, you're curious & simply paying attention to your thoughts. In the latter question you are analyzing lots of thoughts you have abt yourself or others, whether or not those thoughts are true (i.e. I'm a bad worker, OR he's a mean friend). Those types of thoughts are judgmental either to you or someone else, so they can fuel panicky or guilty or angry feelings. The first way of asking the question is more about just listening to where your thoughts take you.

[@jessIe76468]

This somehow reminds me or clean and dirty pain. The clean feeling is the one we truly feel. The secondary is the dirty one used to cover up. It's not clean or truthful, usually less "pure" and more selfish as it's tending to protect us and avoid vulnerability.

[@tamaracooley2033]

Thank you so much for these quality videos. These have already been so helpful, and I appreciate it so much.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Glad you like them!

[@caleuxx9108]

This is amazingly well explained !!!! - I must say though, that to me, SHAME seems like a more primary emotion.... at least in some situations.... where anger/rage/aggression come out on top of the shame.... So I see it in the parents of children, where the child is doing something that some adults consider bad/wrong/etc. (often behavior that is common for the age of the child so rather normal; the other adults are actually being judgemental instead of empathic and understanding) and the parent lashes out at their child with aggression (yelling, hitting, demeaning words, etc.).... maybe in situations like these the anger/rage is terciary, but anyways it seems like the anger/rage/aggression are used to cover up the shame the parent seems to be feeling.

[@berenicelynn1463]

Hello. I am extremely grateful that you have made your videos available online. I have benefited so much from it. We learn new ways of coping everyday and your hints and tips are refreshing and new to me. Thank you so so much.

[@richatrivedi3542]

I'm glad I found this channel ☺Thank you very much 😊🙏

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Glad you enjoy it!

[@vcakes6499]

Thank you for organizing these videos and creating a playlist.

[@jonasanderss8n]

thank you for your support in my fight for sanity everyday

[@mohammedalshannat2385]

Thank you for helping the underdogs!

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Our pleasure!

[@AbdullahAlansy]

Emma, you are an angel! I can't thank you enough for these videos. Truly life changing. Thank you ❤️

[@arikatheheiress4181]

Vulnerability is a superpower. I should write this down on my notebook.

[@drsandhyathumsikumar4479]

I love the clarity and depth of how you convey wonderful ideas .thank u

[@amaaltoos4432]

Thank you so much for your videos. You have no idea how helpful and amazing these videos are. I just wish I had watched these videos years ago, many things would have changed. Thank you. so much love

[@adrianmh]

I like when she lists the primary emotions

[@SheilaRood]

As a fellow psychologist, I say "This is GOLD". What you're describing in this video is at the base of so many conflicts (internal or external) and you clarify it for everyone to access. I felt so much gratitude watching his video. Keep up the good work :)

[@sadiaarman363]

I cried too!!! I wish i had a therapist like him!! 😥

[@vishwanathranjansharma566]

You made me change. Really I got a lot of life from you❤

[@francesbernard2445]

feelings are just feelings. All that is hormonal which drives those feelings are pure. They cannot lie to anyone. On the other hand when trying to sort out what are lies and what are not while emoting those feelings how that is going to be interpreted by whom and believed makes all of the difference in the world. Always take the high road when it comes to experiencing any set of feelings during each moment of your own life.

[@jteichma]

Thanks you so much for sharing these with us. You are a great teacher and human. I loved the "hate your boss" example and moving to the underlying emotions and options that can open up.

[@MaxVinstappen]

I wish I could give this multiple thumbs up.

[@fromtheparkbench1979]

You can. EMOJIS!!! 👍👏👍👏👍👏👍

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

😀😀😀🎉

[@evelynallred2581]

Thank you so much for all your awesome hard work and sharing your information ❤️ you definitely raise the vibrations of the world 🔮✨💕💚

[@jerrodbulgin2261]

Seems like this is the whole reason for narcissism and other personality disorders... Basically completley failing to allow yourself to feel your primary emotions.

[@KarmasAbutch]

Very interesting insight. This makes so much sense.

[@Milubee]

Thank you so much for this incredible course. I'm only this far through, but I feel so proud of myself already for going through my notes from these videos and processing emotions that come up with the steps you shared.