Mastering the Paradox of Acceptance and Change With Anxiety- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

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Are you on the side of accepting and embracing who you are now or do you crave more change? Do you think that change is always a good thing? Join me for a discussion on acceptance and change to see which side you land on. I hope to give you a new perspective to help you live your best life!
I’ve made a lot of content about acceptance and about how being willing to feel your emotions can be really helpful. But if you’ve watched a lot of my videos you also know that I make a ton of videos about growth and hope and change and lowering anxiety.
So it’s fair that I often get asked how do I reconcile this idea of acceptance with change, for example this question from a student: “I'm a bit confused about how doing exercises to regulate the nervous system fits in with the previous section where we were encouraged to be willing to 'feel' emotions. These exercises sort of feel like an attempt to get rid of negative emotions.”
This is a great question and I think it’s a really important question to carefully consider. I think it is really easy to get mixed up when it comes to figuring out how to manage emotions. Because it does seem like such a paradox, in order to resolve emotions you have to be willing to accept that they may not resolve.
In order to change how you feel, you need to stop trying to change how you feel. I can see how this is confusing. I’m going to do my best to clear it up. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, aka ACT, really walks that fine line of balancing Acceptance and Change.
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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
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[@Youdothedishes]

9:58 - "Acceptance doesn't mean that you always win, but it means that you get to play." Idk, I just found that quote really profound.

[@octohex2908]

self reminder: its because now you know that feeling uncomfortable and stressed out doesnt mean you cant take part in your values or have no self control. you can try them despite feeling anxious or stressed. if i got to play everyday and not be serious about it i would love to learn how to play the game and might as well enjoy it for the rest of my life. so i accept that i wont feel great everyday but still be able to do the things i have to do and not think about the anxiety that comes with activities that i have to do and want to do. and i'd just want to know why anxiety occurs from a neuroscience point of view.

[@jamessawyer9018]

I love to hear how therapist struggle with the same issues that we have. I think it makes us or me feel better that these emotions and struggles are normal. And there are many ways to not let them control your life . Thanks Emma for sharing your experiences. I loved how you said to your self " silly emma".LOL. I say that to myself sometimes too. Your the best keep making this good content. 👍

[@noneofyourbuizness]

Empathetic therapist are rare 😌

[@aloevera7422]

Even therapists do have therapists.

[@nazekb3756]

I think it’s so wise of you to think that way, a lot of people wont take what a therapist says unless the therapist seems to have it all figured out or if they seem mysterious enough and not relatable.

[@maryboswell6089]

Love this! Giving myself permission to feel my feelings/emotions makes all the difference in the world...I needed to hear this today...Thank you Emma! I'm going to recommend to family and friends that they watch your helpful you-tube videos...

[@julienguyen604]

@@noneofyourbuiznessi’m kiio

[@kimraethridge6124]

The best advice I ever had on this subject is just to observe the emotion without judgement. Like watching a wave roll in and saying oh I recognize that it is sadness again with no judgement and no attempts to repress, no one ever died of a feeling so don't fight it just let it happen without judgement. I was surprised to find out most feelings get processed and peace and acceptance follow.

[@DivineDianne]

This is so helpful. Thank you. Like a wave in the ocean washes over the shore and recedes again, so too emotions come and go. This is an excellent imagery.

[@aneelaaamir4941]

I'll try this thing

[@peterkhew7414]

It's zen meditation.

[@ruecumbers]

This took me a long time to master but it makes such a big difference to be able to seperate yourself from the feeling like this as it happens. I also feel much more in tune and understanding of my body with the fact that most of the problems; the anxiety and the depression, are my brain fumbling the brain chemicals, not me.

[@vidhiagrawal3]

This is what exactly Buddhist doctrine is!😊

[@colorburst9275]

This reminds me of what Carl Rogers said. “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” I struggle with this so much. How the heck do I lean into something so uncomfortable and frustrating. Work in progress. Thank you so much for all that you do and share❤️. It’s incredibly helpful with moving trapped emotions and healing trauma.

[@tonjo575]

This makes SOOO much sense! Last week at school I felt a bit dizzy. I was like "you're just anxious, just use a skill you know" . So I used slow breathing. When I noticed that my dizziness didn't get better, I started feeling more and more anxious. And before I knew it, I was stuck in a loop of fighting with my emotions. Eventually, I calmed down (after 1 hour or so). But now I know that I should have just said to myself "this is temporary, it'll go away" Thanks to the people that read that far :-)

[@trusound170]

GAH! I do that too! It can be so maddening, I just commented on my anxiety and panic getting turned on when I'm dizzy. Any idea what causes yours? If you are dehydrated and well rested it can be your neck causing it. This is a video I use to help this. It always works wonders. Being at student I assume you find your self sitting with a rigid neck for long periods, which is why I think this could help. I hope Dr. Emma doesn't mind me sharing this link. kzbin.info/www/bejne/rZzad6GCoc2Whqc

[@donnabolt5847]

I think it is GREAT that you recognized and truly acknowledged your dizziness So many times we just blow everything off and keep trucking full speed ahead. Our bodies are sensitive to that and just by recognizing it really helps! 👏

[@Joey007ist]

As someone who’s had this battle for a year now. I can tell you the way it gets better is hard to explain. Slow breathing is all well and good. But if you practice that but in your head you’re telling yourself “please please please go away” it won’t go anywhere. It feels like you have to get to a point to where when it comes up, you no longer fear it. Especially when you realize it gets worse when you worry about it. Once you see yourself accomplish making it go away, your brain remembers that in the future.

[@marsireid]

I just listened to a podcast about stoicism and the quote, “we retain the ability to choose and to change,” has a strong connection to your message in this video. I love the way you succinctly and intuitively assimilate the information. Thank you and keep up the good work! I am now telling myself, “I feel anxious about my first mental health presentation as an AMFT to a group of teens!!” I got this! 🙏🏼😅

[@nildajusino7470]

@@trusound170 Yes. Me too. In graduate school for 3 years and have developed neck pains that I never suffered with before. It is a cycle.

[@tonjo575]

A willingness skill that I've made myself is imagining my emotions (mostly negative ones) as cute little characters. Then I imagine welcoming these characters in my head. It may sound weird, but it has worked for me so I wanted to share it with others 😅

[@Quetzalcoatl-Dragon_97]

Thomas Sanders, is that you?!

[@azgirl215]

This is funny, which already helps. I’m going to try it. Thanks!

[@menandi5795]

Omg I just started doing this! I think of them as emojis.

[@MyMichellePL]

Possibly this works because it connects with your inner child

[@alixnorman7389]

I do this! (Pretty sure I learnt it from Emma’s Emotion Processing Course!) So now I have a wibbly wobbly Ms Anxiety, who is just trying her absolute best to protect me, but sometimes goes over the top. (I imagine giving her a long hug, I thank her for trying to protect me, and she calms right down!) There’s Monkey, who constantly brings up a million thoughts and worries (so I gave him the concrete task of noticing when unhelpful thoughts arise and tossing them out of my head - a trick I learnt from Zen Buddhism. He’s getting very good at it now, and loves being useful!) And a couple of other characters too - I won’t bore you with the lot! Once upon a time, I would have thought this was completely mad. Now I recognise how truly helpful it is!

[@prajaktagodbole]

I am immensely grateful for your videos. Thank you very much for the thoughtfulness and generosity. I listen to you everyday. You give so much practical advice. I have done therapy before, but found it to be waste of my time. I used to get triggered each time just explaining my issues, without learning much from the therapist. You are truly a blessing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! ❤

[@sweetmelodies2545]

Words ain't enough to thank you,I've watched many of your anxiety videos and they brought me back from a dark place,I couldn't afford a therapy session and I didn't want to bother anyone and God sent me an angel, thank u Emma

[@kacheongho5115]

So so lonely, just like being trapped in a dark hole and cannot ask for help, or don't know what you can do while time flies

[@linaborbujo346]

She is an angel ❤

[@egnieto]

​@@kacheongho5115 I feel you. I hope you're feeling better, I've been struggling too. Let us know how you are🙏 maybe sharing may help.

[@brianwatts5482]

This is a great lesson I learned from my therapist. After my wife passed away several years ago I had a lot of anxiety and depression over being alone. Thinking I would be alone for the rest of my life was really really scary. Once I accepted this reality, I no longer feel anxious. I still hope to meet someone new but no longer feel desperate. Thanks Kati.

[@amandakaras356]

I have been letting my anxiety run my life to the point that I have no life. I have been avoiding leaving my house because I am afraid of having a panic attack in front of people, and they will think I am crazy and not worth helping. I have been wanting to change this pattern because it is not me. Thank you for showing me how I can take baby steps to become the person I want to be.

[@rajzakku8829]

This reminds me of when I started having panic attacks 2 years ago and even if I wasn't fully aware of the concept of acceptance I learned by trial and error that it was the best approach. The thing that was affecting me the most during a panic attack was the fear of it getting worse, the impending insomnia and the desperation of not having a technique to stop that horrible feeling immediately. Only when I started visualizing the panic as a storm in the sea I had to weather somehow I stopped trying to fight it and it subsided eventually. No expectations, no fears of it getting worse, just ride through it experiencing all its feelings and keeping in mind that it would pass and I would have time to recover when I woke up the next morning.

[@marmaz57]

Gosh, Emma - you have a true gift for teaching and coaching. "The Default Setting - Accepting my Emotions". A clear goal. Thanks!

[@oopsydaisy40]

I have had panic disorder for 40 years. My panic attacks were terrifying because every time I thought I was dying. It got so bad I considered suicide. Then I realized I wanted to die because I was so afraid of dying! That was a turning point. Even with meds I still occasionally have severe attacks but now I tell myself well, if I die, so what. It will happen to all of us. That mindset takes the edge off and helps a lot.

[@hatsjkedee]

To me the two moments of true acceptance I've experienced in my life in the face of fear, didnt per se feel like walking away from the dragon, but more like putting down my shield and weapons to accept/welcome my deadly fate and being left with the direct realization that the dragon I fought wasn't even real. The mind is a miraculous thing.

[@cheerbeerification]

This is why it's important to schedule meditation, and not only do it when you feel anxious. The meditation will take a cumulative effect over time and it won't turn into a struggle against anxiety.

[@BigBossMan538]

Meditation doesn’t work for me. Feels like it’s just getting rid of thoughts. At least I don’t like guided meditation, too distracting much of the time

[@gogogolyra1340]

U cant stop ur thoughts from running across ur brain. The meditation is to help you refocus and bring your attention to the present moment instead of your mind

[@aikiguy]

Meditation isn’t getting rid of thoughts or feelings, it’s learning to observe them and their coming and going.

[@leoren2685]

Meditation isn't everyone's cup of tea.

[@indigoziona]

There are different ways to meditate! Being really in the flow of an absorbing activity, journalling, taking a walk and taking the time to look at and appreciate your surroundings, taking a quiet moment to direct your thoughts to your values and to reflect and check in with yourself. Taking time for quiet and self-compassion. I also like to think of how many years ago, a colleague told me he liked to visit a golf driving range with his friends and he'd spend the entire time cursing his lack of success and getting annoyed. "So why do you do it?" I asked. "Because it's so relaxing," he said. "For the couple of hours I'm there, I only think about golf."

[@AS-kf1ol]

"this too shall pass" - my grandmother's most impactful saying for anxiety and negative emotions. It's not who you are, it's just how you feel.

[@tiannaannenicole]

Amen

[@fabiennerivet4968]

My therapist told me the same things. I was expecting her to give me tools and skills and stuff to DO. Whereas she just told me to BE. It's hard to put in practice when you've been stuck in a certain pattern for years but I'm trying :) thanks for the reminder Emma!

[@kacheongho5115]

Emma introduced a book before "Get out of your mind, and into your life " by Steven C. Hayes. I read through the whole book and there are many exercises inside the book teaching you how to be "To be "

[@AMcDub0708]

Acceptance is not Resignation. This changed my perspective.

[@whatsupchannel3047]

Anxiety is something I have learnt to live with , I cope by sitting down and allowing it to pass . I have done this for many years only by accident not because I knew what to do . In my heart I knew that they are feelings that pass but they can be very life limiting and take away freedom to be and enjoy . My anxiety started at the age of around 4 years old and still continues but much much less 50 years on .

[@nylakhan5658]

4 years old that’s only a child near to a toddler I didn’t even think children can get anxiety

[@whatsupchannel3047]

@@nylakhan5658 sadly grief can be experienced very young , and early memories of hurt and abuse also. I would never have known what anxiety was at the time , but in later life you realise what bad feelings are .

[@kulsoomahsan4440]

@@nylakhan5658 Yes, a child can have anxiety, depression, fear, stress, grief. I know people who have been experienced depression starting in near infancy.

[@nylakhan5658]

The main question is what help and support is there when you are suffering with these symptoms not even the doctors know or give you the right treatment.

[@nylakhan5658]

@@kulsoomahsan4440 I didn’t know that an infancy is way too small how do you find out what symptoms they are going through being that young ?

[@kimihime9901]

Thank you so much Emma, you have no idea how much you are impacting my life in a positive way and helping me learn how to cope with anxiety and depression. I was experiencing a lot of anxiety this morning before work and I caught myself doing exactly what you said in here, trying to use the skills I know to calm me down (deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, etc) and was getting more anxious and frustrated when I realized it wasn’t working. It all makes sense now, acceptance is the key. And as you said, to accept what we feel in the present, not as “I’m always going to be like this so I have to accept that”. Btw I am a psychiatrist, in Brazil, and it’s comforting to know that fellow mental health professionals also experience and deal with anxiety, and I appreciate your openness and courage to speak out about this. We are all human, it doesn’t make us flawed or less capable. Your video was the turning point in my day. Thank you with all my heart, you are amazing and a great inspiration for me. ❤️❤️🥰 I’m sending lots of love your way

[@PizzaHandhelds]

This is the way to conquer anxiety. It worked for me 100%. BRING IT ON!!

[@llscksa]

It is my birthday today i wake up early and went out to the beach for walking i found your video I would like to thank you sooo much from Jeddah saudia arabia

[@kimcreate1]

This was very helpful. I need to practice acceptance so I can left go of scary thoughts and feelings.

[@andrereloaded1425]

I needed reminding of this right now. The more you fight back against anxiety/anger/fear - the more it hardens or pushes back. It's a horrible loop and acceptance is the biggest door out of it. Thank you, I love your output - God knows how many people you've helped.

[@JannicaSeraypheap-wp5mb]

Something that’s been helping me with acceptance is when I notice a thought or emotion comes in, I say in my head, “this is not a bad thought/emotion or a good thought/emotion. It is something I am experiencing. And now, I will decide where that thought or emotion will lay in terms of my values and actions.” I get the give myself the choice of what I want to do with that thought or emotion but the key is that I take some action with it. I used to get so wrapped up in thinking “I’m so stupid” or “i don’t want to do this, what if this happens?!” So now I finally have the power and understanding of choosing what I want to do :)

[@GratefulDeb270]

Great video! I sometimes use a timer (it feels safer) and say “bring it on” in meditation, journaling or doing art therapy. When the timer goes off, that’s enough for today. If I need to, I will do it again the next day and the next. This helps me with fear, grief and so many emotions. 💕🌷🧘‍♀️

[@di_kid00]

It's nice to know that there is a choice: to accept my feelings and support myself, or to beat myself up and freeze/escape. I like the first option better. While the second option, being stuck in inaction, will never lead to success. And this acceptance has what helped me withstand all the trauma that still lives within me. Some days will be full-on replays of horrifying flashbacks of had happened, and some days, peace. So to be able to accept and support myself through days like that has been so life-changing.

[@professorstarlight2268]

MAN this video was timely. Between analyzing my habits, and staying mindful, and thinking about where I'm at in the physiological process, I'm realizing I forgot one of the first lessons - back to name it to tame it all over again.

[@judymarkel8029]

This is good. I must have watched your willingness video a dozen times. When my Dr. asked what I was doing to help with my anxiety I told her "Willingness" Thank you for all you do to help

[@planktosbazaar]

Thank you for this. I worked myself into an emotional frenzy last night. I too have a lot of “skills” to work through emotions and realized that no matter what I did, I was feeling worse. And the last thing I hadn’t tried was accepting what was in that moment. I started to fight and refuse and saw it as “giving up”, but I just continued to accept everything that was in this moment. Can’t tell you what a freeing release that’s been. 🙏 I loved this video and it will further strengthen my process

[@azgirl215]

This was so helpful. I was right in middle of a panic attack that I was stuck in because I didn’t want to feel it. I feel a little better now. Thank you 🙏

[@LlamaM2288]

Over these past few weeks, I have been struggling with severe anxiety more so than I ever have before in my life. I already knew about your channel before so I watched your other various vids about how to deal with anxiety and they have honestly been a life changer so far! Thank you so much for the help and all that you do to help people with mental health issues. I wish you and your family the best in life ❤ thank you!!

[@beldr.]

Thank you!! Acceptance became a huge part of my psychotherapy focus because deep down I knew I had to learn to accept instead of deny, deflect, distract, or ignore and pretend i magically felt nothing. Acceptance and commitment therapy became my chosen starting point just because “fighting it” or “getting rid of anxiety” didn’t feel aligned even though in my habits it was certainly what I was trying to do. I can also relate to the experience of trying things to get rid of anxiety, especially when a stressful process is happening, and sometimes yes it takes awhile to be willing to pause, open up and accept whats actually going in. But once I do, I at least know what’s actually going on with me instead of just racing without awareness into more and more anxiousness. And yes sometimes the emotions need more time to process and be felt and that’s totally a normal part of human experience! Thanks for sharing!

[@missyh3]

I struggle with understanding what acceptance of my emotions really means, and this video is explaining it in a new way that is starting to make sense to me. Thank you!

[@Michele-rn5bf]

Welcome the emotion. That’s acceptance.

[@donhabel1590]

Great topic God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change courage the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference 👍👍

[@shodack5124]

Thank you. I have been working on accepting myself and my emotions for a few years now, and it has really made such a difference in my life. I'm starting to bring some of these ideas into my 9 year old daughter's life. It's tough, getting her to accept that her hard and painful feelings aren't something to hide from...

[@PartanBree]

This is very helpful. I actually find things like breathing exercises make me quite anxious (even when I do them at a calm time!) and have had better results acknowledging the anxiety and waiting for it to go away on its own. My challenge is that I can hold onto it for a very long time, like hours!

[@cherylredmond2060]

OMGoodness. My struggle is anxiety but also PTSD. It hits me and I feel like crawling into a closet to scream and cry for hour or more! I hate feeling this emotion. Perhaps I can sit, cry and just accept what I’m feeling and know that feeling this is OK. Thank you Emma. Is nice to know you are human too and can struggle like all humans 😁

[@CarolSharac-cl7mp]

Great advice…let the “bad” emotion/feeling just happen. Like the old adage, face your fear and it will disappear. Once I did that (didn’t happen overnight and it took some practice), I no longer have that dreadful emotion. That was 50 years ago so I’m living proof! I love your common sense outlook Emma. Thank you!

[@dominikaprochazkova843]

Amazing. Acceptance is my topic in so many areas of my life. I went through acceptance of my anxiety by myself a couple of months ago and i felt huge relieve just from that.

[@wildzpirit8239]

You are so amazing and your videos are the best! Whenever I feel anxious and I don't know how to handle it I search for you and you always have the exact video to help me understand myself better. I'm so grateful for you and I want to thank you very much for doing this. ❤️

[@coleman6203]

Thank you so much for this video! I am so grateful that you overcame your stress and were able to bring this channel to the world. You are amazing!

[@brettneuberger6466]

Thank you so much for this. Truly one of the best explanations of acceptance I’ve heard. You’re incredibly good at what you do. Accepting that I don’t want to work on acceptance anymore seems to be the last step to take before I actually experience real peace. It takes a while to get there but eventually it comes, my mind goes still, and I drop into quietude.

[@chrisbarajas3765]

You’ve helped me so much. Took a while to understand this message, because I constantly wanted a “fast answer” or quick solution. But by accepting my anxiety, understanding I wasn’t in danger, and not trying to challenge/associate with the thoughts/feelings (etc.) I am slowly breaking that cycle of intense anxiety and panic attacks.

[@DM-jt9io]

I feel like I've begun to be set free from fighting with emotions. I am so grateful to you for sharing this!!

[@ksy4747]

This is excellent and ground zero advice for anything really. Accept where you are at the moment, embrace it, let it feel how it feels and see if anything shifts first on its own before you try to shift it yourself.

[@middleagedteenager1874]

This video is so useful. I’ve been struggling with acceptance but the focus on present moment acceptance makes so much sense to me. Thank you!

[@carolbenavidez2228]

Omg! Struggled with this question for years! I need to "accept" but need to believe I'm changed "right now" and things are changed "right now." Only made me more defeated and depressed. Thank you so much for this explanation! 💖

[@rajivkrishnatr]

Thank you for this. I've been doing this since a few months. At first it was very uncomfortable to accept and feel anxious thoughts. But now I'm more comfortable with them. I feel confident and capable. I am understanding that nothing ad will happen if I accept and let those emotions/thoughts be.

[@eringee6052]

I love your work! This level of content is a gift- thank you! From my experience, I have found that before I can accept my anxiety, I have to first honor it as a signal. Loved your positive self talk- "Bring it on anxiety!" Sometimes I just need to admit that I need to drop something so my stress/cortisol can lower instead of staying in the high stress situation.

[@kimspencer5142]

Emma, you have helped me in so many ways. Especially not letting my emotions control me and that it’s ok to feel all emotions.❤

[@edshoemaker7932]

Thank you Emma. This and soooo many other of your videos have truly helped me on my journey of healing from childhood trauma and complex ptsd. I want you to know that you ARE making a difference in the world. Thank you.

[@indigoziona]

I've been watching your "How to process your emotions" course and this video couldn't have come at a better time! I think I'm very inclined to decide I can think away my emotions if I only think long and hard enough and though sometimes it does work, at times it has the very opposite effect of getting stuck in my brain as a mental loop. Your videos are really encouraging me to have compassion for myself and to accept my emotions, even trying some counter-intuitive strategies like letting myself be more aware of my surroundings when in a stressful environment rather than blocking it all out... essentially going "yeah, it's noisy and cramped and uncomfortable but I'm ok". I think I see acceptance like this: when arriving in a dark place, it's easy to hide or to run in any direction to get out. But the smart move is to look at a map and see where we really want to go... When we look at a map, we don't just look at the destination... We find where we are first of all. We can't just act like we're at the destination, but a map shows us that the journey is possible.

[@peteypickles3262]

Sometimes, I just recognize anxiety like it's a separate entity - I'll say to myself, "Hey look, anxiety is coming along for the ride. That's fine! I know it's going to tell me not to do something, but I'm just going to do it anyway. If anxiety wants to come along, that's OK"

[@Sundayjean]

Thank you for this specific video! I know, practice and teach a lot of this, but through the pandemic got stuck in one place in my life that had never given me any problems. This specific video gave me the aha moment I needed to walk through it. Thanks!

[@cassieoz1702]

I was trained in CBT and trauma focused therapy but ACT has become where I sit most comfortably. Dr Russ Harris was my first intro to ACT and the role of mindfulness as a tool.

[@SmellsLikeNow]

Thank you. You've given me clarity and added depth to my understanding of "acceptance" and "willingness".

[@JordanSmith-pk2br]

This is so amazing, exactly what I needed to learn! Thank you so much! Hope everyone is learning everyday!

[@lisacrow5762]

Emma, thank you - this makes a lot of sense. I am currently looking into acceptance as way to move forward with things that I am anxious about. It was lovely to hear your story to put it into a picture for us.

[@honeybeerozy]

Hi Emma, I just want to say how thankful I am that I found your channel. I first discovered you shortly after the pandemic started as I was listening to Joey Remenyi’s podcast where she interviewed you. You have helped me so much in my journey and to learn how to process my feelings and anxiety. I now have a daily meditation routine and I check in with my inner self frequently. Keep up the good work and thanks for all you do for others.

[@brittneygilchrist2744]

I practiced this in Court today! Instead of being upset over my 10 year case still continuing when I could end it if a Justice would listen to me… usually super frustrating and I end up in an anxiety attack.. I accepted how it was going to go.. and I even giggled to myself when the date of my documents was 4/20 😏 I love when I’m on track with what you teach just naturally.. you are an amazing teacher and I owe my amazing outlook on life to you!! ✌🏻💕

[@DivineDianne]

Good luck with your case.

[@brittneygilchrist2744]

@@DivineDianne thank you so very much 🥰 I hope you have a wonderful day Dianne!

[@sarahblunden4372]

I have a court hearing on Monday for a week. I'm really bricking it but I need to accept my feelings

[@brittneygilchrist2744]

@@sarahblunden4372 I wish you all of the best for Monday. It’s hard, but it’s worth the work for acceptance 💕

[@renaudlevasseur8327]

It remind me of something I read in man search for meaning, when people who stutter, sweat or get red instead of fighting their body try to make it worse and at some point it disapear. Kind of like progressive muscle relaxation. It's such a weird concept to grasp when we are stuck in a loop of avoidance or trying to get rid of something, to understand that the solution is to actually go into it and make it worse ! Anxiety tools are for relaxation, regulation after something difficult not for avoiding feelings.

[@Brutusthecreatorofficial4862]

I'm so glad you made a video about this, I was actually asking myself that this morning since I had an anxiety attack during a Zoom meeting Thanks for your amazing videos 💛

[@PartanBree]

Oh good grief, Zoom. It's my nemesis. So anxiety provoking!

[@pennymorgan2149]

Thank you, Emma! I appreciate all you do and the time you take to help us here on KZbin the way you do. 💕

[@mymentorjane6705]

Yours is my favorite channel. I am really interested in the topic of emotions because of their impact on our lives. “The struggle against emotions get In the way of living the life you want.” So beautifully said. “Acceptance has to come first.” I didn’t think about going back to the original feeling when stuck. Thank you!

[@susanwale8887]

Love your teachings, you are so clear in your coaching. I have had high blood pressure but it’s not all the time, I feel anxious and sometimes my whole body feels electrified. I know I need to let go of stressful thoughts but although I meditate, I am starting to practice Qi Gong and done yoga I still have that feeling of anxiety and knee pains. I will stop now and feel my feelings, I will continue to listen to your very helpful videos. They make me feel hopeful 🙏🏻🦋❤️🌷

[@much-love-]

Thank you so much for yet another valuable video! I remember not understanding this paradox when going through your emotional processing course, and partly giving up on acceptance because it felt like I "gave up" and wasn't working to change these difficult emotions... now it makes a lot more sense in my mind. You have helped me so much with learning to process emotions. Thank you. You're truly doing God's work.

[@andymoralesplata3944]

I’m so glad I stumbled upon this video and your channel. You are incredibly genuine and insightful when it comes to the science, emotions, and real life experiences that this can be used in. It feels like you truly do want to help people instead of giving them short answers so that they can continue watching your videos or buy some type of program. Really looking forward to keep up with your channel!

[@alextuckerthompson]

Thank you so much for your work Emma! I am a clinical psychologist and have been loving your videos. I am a very ACT based therapist and yet still, I too also frequently fall into the "skills" focused trap of avoidance (cuz im human like everyone else lol). Was so excited to see you make a video on this topic as it's something ive thought about lots as well and been challenged by clients with. I frequently find that you do such an excellent job of verbalizing therapeutic skills and intentions that you assist me in understanding my own work and expanding on it. Thanks so much for your channel and I absolutely love the seed and football metaphors here

[@coachtrainedbylifechanging570]

I was just teaching this exact same paradox in my course today and came across your video. Well said! Thanks!

[@dee5356]

Excellent video.It was very helpful.Thank you for sharing your story and for all that you do!You are definitely doing an immense amount of good in the world and it is all very much appreciated!

[@Hmy8799]

THANKS SO MUCH for all of your videos. Truly so helpful-often moreso than anything I’ve gotten out of any therapy in the past! Lots of gratitude your way💚💚💚

[@sck0305]

Coming to terms with the season at hand helps. Acceptance really does take all that weight off.

[@fightstar2277]

Thank you Emma this really hit me at the right time, my old ways of dealing with life was to struggle against my emotions and I felt it for the first time in about 4 days biting back and I was getting so upset over it but acceptance truly is the foundation of growth I must return to it to move forward thank you 😁

[@tthotpham]

I found your channel last week.. and my goodness you have taught me so much already! Also, helped become more calm with my thoughts, more mentally honest with myself, & less emotionally reactive. Thank you!

[@roberhtmatthews]

Every time I watch one of your videos, I want to give you a high five! Thank you so much for this life-changing advice. :-)

[@julianacrippa]

Emma, you rock! I deeply appreciate your videos. You are making the lives of many people better. THANK YOU!

[@koul_2482]

Thank you for your knowledge! I have always fought with my anxiety, thinking that being aggressive or mad at it will make it go away. My therapist told me about the acceptance paradox 1 year ago but I have just recently started to understand it and use it. I finally feel like I have some control over my anxiety and actions now. I was trying so much to calm down and relax but it only made me more nervous, now I'm trying to accept my anxiety and it has taken pressure off me.

[@marieakerfeldt9643]

Im so so grateful for this video 🙏🏼 Have Struggled with anxiety for many years and still each time I get it it is like my whole system never knows what to do but trying to avoid it/fight it/push down the emotions. 🤯 Next time I will stay where I am, welcome it and say ”Bring it on anxiety, I can handle it”! ❤👊🏼

[@jeffgehr4937]

I have attempted to meditate many times in my life and prior to this CD the only success I've experienced is with live guided meditation. kzbin.infoUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq This is the first CD I've used that cuts through my unmedicated ADHD and enables me to truly relax and experience a quiet and energizing interval. The instructors voice is very soothing and pleasant to listen to. I am easily able to sit successfully through the entire CD, and for quite some time after. I cannot adequately express how tremendously helpful this CD has been on my spiritual journey!! Two thumbs up and 10 stars!

[@b33thr33kay]

This is spam, totally unrelated, do not click.

[@wertuimusicart]

Thank you. That is just the message I need right now. I've learnt a bunch of skills in my therapy lessons (like questioning my automatic thoughts) and found that they worked out for me on occasions. But that lead me to only rely on these as my key tool for getting better. So then when my feelings were just overwhelming for a few days, these tools did not work and made me so anxious and unhappy that I snapped back to my original state (miserable and without hope) I thought to myself: this will never get any better, now that I know these promising tools, they still fail to help me get out of my situation RIGHT NOW. That left me feeling even more helpless than before my my therapy startet. Now, you helped me to realize that the base of it all is acceptance, which I lost during my way. This is crucial. Thank you so so much!! How you explain it, it feels so natural to struggle, not like I am a failure. Actually my therapist gave me this feeling when I cried during my whole last session (because of what I just explained.. Feeling trapped and that nothing works, that I am still anxious ). She said thinks like: you were better before and now you are sitting here miserably. I cannot take this away from you. Also she uses words for crying that are not respectful. I will talk to her in my next session that this bothers me and is not what I need. The true reason for my progress and my understanding of my state right now is the content of your videos as well as my very understanding partner. The therapy not so much to be honest... But I cannot switch to somebody else. :( however, I will try to proactively make my situation better by talking to my therapist about the things that don't work out for me and start a dialogue about that. Warm greetings from Germany. Thank you for your work It is sooo much appreciated :)

[@alili825]

Wow, this is pure gold! Thank you for all your wonderful work Emma, you are a major force for good in the world. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@beautyamongashes8378]

Oh Emma this was so helpful and sharing that you also can be tricked into using your “skills” as a way to avoid feeling makes me feel seen! Panic has dictated almost every aspect of my last 19 years. From what I eat, to what I wear, to where I go (or don’t go), to who I spend time with, to the shows I watch and even the roads I drive… it just hit me while watching this video, if I can feel panic for almost twenty years, then I can feel hard feelings!

[@AskToni1]

Emma, you are SUCH a blessing to the world. You've helped me so much. I love you!!

[@maryboswell6089]

I love how Therapist Emma McAdam defines Acceptance with feeling emotions as a temporary situation instead of a permanent situation! Very inspiring, and hope filled! Thank you Therapist Emma McAdam 🤗

[@kaylindalton5227]

I just love you and can't thank you enough for making these videos. Can't express my gratitude.

[@fergusfitzgerald977]

I will have to listen to this many many times - very interesting very insightful - needs more time to asimulate !

[@johnjasperjacolbia3321]

As time goes by, those trapped emotions haunts me even I rest a lot. This video helped me because it gives me more insight that I have the choice to really accept the situation, instead of just viewing the sense of acceptance in a distorted and fake way.

[@kristianamiller6992]

Thank you so much for your channel! It has helped me so much to get through a bad time facing my anxiety. You are a wonderful teacher the way you share advice in an encouraging way.

[@SuJo464]

So good! I will bring myself back to the line of scrimmage each time... acknowledge the emotion / anxiety, and then move frwd... this imaginary line will be so helpful for me in my Acceptance journey! TY Emma! 🙏🏻

[@nightcat569]

Dealing with anxiety for the first time (been few months ) I learned that when I accept my feelings my anxiety or symptoms decrease or sometimes go away it's hard in the moment but it's worth it I'm enthusiastic for a full recovery

[@taranextstop]

When I acknowledged my emotions for the first time, those emotions gradually went away. For the first time in so many mornings I woke up with such fear and nervousness, I felt free. From then on, I always acknowledge and affirm my emotions. I feel them and not forcefully do things to make myself okay. I am not also hundred percent okay but I am looking for better days.

[@joanryan2242]

This video is so helpful Emma...thank you. I am very often stuck in feeling i am not doing enough and even worry about my siblings..all of us now in our sixties. I feel guilty when i dont meet up with them..but then i feel im intruding. I just want to accept how things are and we all have to live our own lives

[@astonishingmelanie]

Thank you so much for your help. I was both physically and mentally sick and came home today from work, and now I've watched this. I will be doing this tomorrow morning.

[@Godwinpounds4333]

Hello 👋 dear, how are you doing?

[@linaborbujo346]

You are a blessing, Emma. I love the way you explain things to reach out to all of us. I appreciate how brave you are, sharing your stories and all the knowledge and wisdom you have acquired yourself so that we can also live better lives. Love, Lina

[@Kiemixo]

I am so happy I found your Chanel! You are helping me and others so much 💕 thank you so much

[@hanspeter5372]

This is so true but in case of anxiety so counter intuitive at the same time. I had a few days with strong anxiety and panic attacks and was quite desperate about it but this trust and willingness was so key to finally resolve it again! Thank you :)

[@Carriel5547]

Thankyou so much!! I feel so much better. I’m sending you love and hugs, I’m so grateful for your help ❤❤❤

[@barriemacfarlane]

Thank you Emma. I am a Canadian,75 years old. I have struggled all my life with emotions. Your messages and authentic style are a wonderful help. Blessings to you and your family.🥰

[@ocdandanxiety]

Wonderful video once again! ACT works so well for anxiety! Thanks for sharing about yourself!

[@adilahaz]

When I sense my anxiety is brewing, I try to focus on the area of 'pain'.. feels the pain as it is what it is..and like you mention.. I can handle negative emotions.. I am not defined by my shortcomings, losses or failure.. I would imagine my grandmother's face as my centre of calmness and acceptance.. her serenity in facing life challenges lift me up when I'm feeling down... Tqvm for sharing