There Are TWO TYPES of GIRLS: Do You Want to Be TAMED?

[@insightsbyv]

Enjoy! 🤗❤ 🍿Previous Part: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gH7FopeBbZWJZrM

[@Stephanie_Ella]

Mr. Big loved Natasha, but never deserved her.. imho. She was too good for him and was perfectly polite every time she bumped into Carrie. Natasha's only mistake was falling for the wrong guy.

[@KayTea4tea]

@@Stephanie_Ella I think, in the story he was bored of her, quite soon. His life became beige … he said. He didn ´t love anyone until he learned to love.

[@cath3077]

Carrie thinking that Big didn't "choose her" because he couldn't "tame" her is one of her most pretentious moments on the show and it will always piss me off whenever I see the scene. Especially since Carrie was nothing like that. She would turn her life upside down, lie or do just about anything to get guys to like her (like when she "quit" smoking DAYS after meeting Aidan just because it was a deal-breaker for him), and that was especially true with Big. She literally would start doubting everything and make it into an article in her column whenever Big had any sort of mood. She let Big walk all over her multiple times, never stood her ground and would convince herself of his feelings for her, doing most of the work in the relationship in her own head, to then claim she just couldn't be tamed and she is "too complex". There is nothing "untameable" about that. The delulu with Carrie is STRONG in this episode.

[@iheartny2001]

All of this. Carrie was the ultimate Pick-Me Girl/Cool Girl.

[@insightsbyv]

Yess!!

[@Natalie_11188]

Big didn’t choose her because he didn’t want her. He wanted her at the end of the series because he was older and tired of “hunting” and he knew she would be there. What I don’t understand is why after all that foolishness she wanted HIM!!!!! The first break up, I get it, but after the Paris fiasco, I don’t understand why she was entertaining this man.

[@ravenkushner]

@cath3077. You hit the nail on the head. That episode always rubbed me the wrong way too. I was like, really? That's what she took away from this whole thing??

[@lizziebennet2084]

Exactly! She is beyond tamed with him, she drop everything and everybody to go to a date with him, even her best friends. The thing is, she is not classy, educated, elegant, smart and pretty enough like Natasha is. That’s it. That’s nothing wrong with that, but to Big, he deserves a Natasha in his head. But what he really wanted is Carrie. He couldn’t deal with the needs Natasha had, so he wanted the easy way with Carrie all over again. Natasha could find any rich older man anytime, and Big knew it. Carrie couldn’t. Big was her top level and he and she knew it.

[@LolitaBonitaaa]

I love that to Carrie, the only issue with Big is that "he's afraid of commitment", and not that maybe he's just not that into her. Even if it is true that he's just scared of commitment, the fact that him not being in love with her is not even an option in her mind is so pretentious of her. Because you know, every man just looooves Carrie.

[@HoneyLittleSis]

Sooo true! Carrie always treats sex like it means hardly anything when she‘s just hooking up with randoms but with Big it‘s like „we have this craaaazy connection, we LOVE each other, he needs me but just can‘t say it“ when in reality it‘s probably just good sex and his money let‘s be real 😭

[@doedee7973]

Not every man hates himself as much as Aidan does for sure. That guy will put up with anything

[@magda010195]

@@HoneyLittleSis In the last episode, when she has a fight with the Russian in Paris, she says that "she's looking for love". Girl, when? The whole series she's having sex with strangers and calls it having relationships, then breaks up with them once she gets to know them a little bit.

[@Some_guy_passing_by]

​@@magda010195 " I'm looking for TURU Love" Cheats on a loving man with a married man 😑 then cries about it .

[@nineteenfortyeight]

To be fair, guys like that pretend to be in love with you as a manipulation tactic. The only way you know it's not really love is by seeing what choices they make. Like marrying another woman 😂

[@fd9891]

I broke up with a boyfriend of 2 years who I truly loved. He wasnt bad. He didn’t cheat, wasnt abusive and etc. He was a great partner but our future goals weren’t aligned and we were not compatible (wanting kids vs. not wanting kids). It really hurt but I didn’t see us working out. He wanted to stay friends and as much as I wanted to, I decided to do no contact to move on. Seeing him and keeping in touch would just hurt me. I knew he would start dating someone else eventually and I just didn’t wanna know. In my personal opinion, Carrie wanted to keep in touch because she didn’t wanna move on.

[@witchf4ce310]

This is it!!

[@liddybaby8675]

Honestly, I always thought it was disgusting for Carrie to blame what happened between her and Big on Natasha. I always loved Natasha. She had class and she was kind to Carrie. And I loved Natasha’s clap back to Carrie’s narcissistic apology.

[@evesapple]

I really dont like Carries assumption that Natasha is the one that Big picks because shes simple. She doesnt even know her. And given the speed they got married, Big doesnt really know her either. Theres a lot to complain about when it comes to SATC, but I do give the writers props for the fact that Natasha was always the one who had class.

[@luenneA87]

I think Carrie always referring to Natasha in those terms just shows how insecure she is, because for me is in the same category as calling your ex new girl “ugly” or “fat” or “tacky”. It’s a competition for her and she is bitter because she knows Natasha is what men like John want.

[@richerthanastronauts]

and called her "the idiot stick figure with no soul" when it was BIG who was the problem.

[@apriljefferson43]

Agreed, and it was the one time I didn’t like Samantha. She was typically the voice of reason but she was egging Carrie on, saying terrible things about Natasha, too. I get supporting your friend but shitting on another woman just because he didn’t really want your friend is disgusting!!!

[@saraivanova3349]

The whole Carrie thing boils down to the fact that she has a low self-esteem and feels inferior to people like Big and Natasha, it was shown all throughout the show and the way she speaks to and about herself. People are usually a mirror of us, so Big just mirrored her own self-concept back to her. And because of her feeling of inferiority, she didn’t respect herself enough to put any boundaries and he took advantage of it. In the last season of the show we saw that she was finally honest with herself and gained her power back, she had more self-esteem, she stood up to the Russian and stood up to Big and was ready to be alone than in a miserable relationship that wasn’t up to her standards, hence she got what she wanted. These are by no means excuses for Big’s behaviour, but in the end of the day we are responsible for our own lives and how we feel about ourselves shouldn’t be dictated by outside circumstances, and most certainly not by other people. Yes, Big was a prick but had she had enough self-respect, she wouldn’t have endured it at all. Remember girls, a clown is a clown but we buy the tickets to the circus.

[@insightsbyv]

Uh, i love the last phrase, might use it sometimes😁

[@theaniediaries]

That last line bro … *WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN ✍️*

[@Natalie_11188]

I love that last line. Thank you.

[@nopenottoday6179]

PREACH!!!! This is a whole word!!!! 🗣️👏🙌

[@Some_guy_passing_by]

The worst thing about Big going after this girl 20 years younger than him was that , he indeed wanted to control her , but he couldn't; and then he cheated on her . He had a problem with commitment alright, but he suppressed it to get the girl ; until he lured her into a false sense of security and then he craps all over her life too !!

[@Stein99]

Yep and remember Big's previous marriage ended in divorce because he CHEATED then too!

[@lorrilewis2178]

I don't understand this. In what way did Big demonstrate wanting to control Natasha? He simply got bored with her and his complaint that she only liked boring beige furniture was a metaphor for that.

[@2491jess]

​@@lorrilewis2178I believe that marrying such a young woman is already proof that he needs to be the power figure and thus wanting to control her

[@lorrilewis2178]

@@2491jess I have known marriages with large age gaps and no control issues at all.

[@Some_guy_passing_by]

​@@Stein99 exactly girl !!! He cheated on his wife with her own best friend. Then he told the women he dated that his wife did him dirty , divorced him , ruined his reputation and got a lot of his assets !! He painted the wife as the bad guy in the relationship and the reason for his loss of trust in other women 😂 when he was the one who was cheating! 😂 I bet he never told Natasha about what happened in his relationships with his publicist wife and Carrie .

[@ireefree2024]

No, it's not possible to be friends with an ex. Only if you share children together... About Natasha, I felt sorry for her. She got between two narcissists and was the victim. Only because somebody is younger doesn't mean that person is stupid. But Carrie acted like that towards her. Also she blamed her for everything, instead she should be against Big, not Natasha.

[@maddyG7414]

I think it’s a bit much to take the entire world and generalize like that. Some people date but find out there wasn’t that romantic passion and friendship was more prominent. I would say being very close friends who share intimate details is less feasible.

[@lorrilewis2178]

I've been friends with two exes.

[@hkmamacmd428]

@@lorrilewis2178 how are things within your romantic relationship?

[@Stephanie_Ella]

I've always felt bad for Natasha.. she's the one who was victimized by these a-holes. I think that Carrie called her names because it made her feel better about inevitably becoming Mr. Big's wh*re later on.. Natasha was always polite and respectful towards Carrie. Carrie could never measure up, and she knew it! If Carrie were a better person, she and Natasha could've been friends. Mr. Big loved Natasha, but he never deserved her.

[@mtblaho]

I’m still friends with my ex’s. I mean true friendship, talking on the phone, going to parties and cookouts, family events etc. I’m still close to their families as well. I’ve never had an issues.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

16:50 YES, I think this is the reason. Big is super status conscious (as is Carrie). They are both social climbers. Natasha reads as 'old money' and 'high society' so he is marrying into high society with that relationship, and if he was to marry Carrie he would be marrying 'down' society wise (she doesn't have the connections or the money, Big has only the money, and Natasha has the connections and the money). That's how I read it.

[@lorrilewis2178]

Big had connections on his own. He took Carrie to that society party because he was already friends with that crowd. Carrie thought they were snobs. Then there was the time Carrie showed up at Big's church where he went with his mother on Sundays. His mother exuded elegance. Big had never introduced Carrie to his mother because he didn't want his mother meeting "just another girl he dated". Natasha was just the type he'd be expected to marry.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

@@lorrilewis2178 I always read Big as "new money" and Natasha as "old money". Those are different levels of society connections, as silly as it sounds.

[@lorrilewis2178]

@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 I read Big as old money, especially considering the church he attended (which Charlotte said was the place to be) and the way his mother came off. Plus what little he said about his parents, they were out and about a lot on the town in their day.

[@2491jess]

I'm going off topic here: I think the show misportraits Big's wealth... Charlotte's apartment is much bigger and fancy than Big's... Why is Big AND Natasha living in his former apartment after getting married if they are BOTH SO rich?

[@TheTeresamori]

@@2491jessI imagine that they were probably there until they moved to Connecticut or something bigger in the city that she really liked. Maybe out of practicality until their dream place came up

[@haydeeoneill2338]

I loved the series but after an analisis of the relationship between Carrie and Big that proposted that Mr. Big was like all the expensive clothes that Carrie bought. She buys expensive clothes and shoes that she can not afford because she wants to be part of of New York high income society. She never loved him, she was obsessed with him because he was aspirational for her. That is the reason she called him "Mr. Big". He was Park Avenue New York to her, a simbol of all she wanted to have in life. He came from money and was important, well traveled and glamorous to her. We have a saying in our culture that translates to: The female monkey even if she dress in silk, monkey she stays. "La mona aunque se vista de seda mona se queda". Carrie is "complicated" because she is traumatized by her past as a middle class suburban girl abandoned by her father covering herself with expensive clothes to look like she belongs. Natasha came from old money and had more in common with Mr. Big. She did not need Mr. Big to get the life she wants because she works and is complete without him although she is in he late twenties almost 10 years younger than Carrie (if my memory servers me well). It became obvious when Carrie interumpted Natasha's lunch to "apologise". Natasha was a level headed woman very mature and sure of herself. That does not sound "simple" to me.

[@LolitaBonitaaa]

"Aunque la mona se vista de seda, mona se queda!!" Ain't that the truth!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@stephysteph8558]

I firmly believe John got with Natasha just because Carrie's "I'm the best you can do" comment struck a nerve. I think in the end, that was true. But at this point John's ego was hurt to he wanted to show to Carrie and himself that he could still pull a hot young rich woman anytime he wanted. Which in a way is a compliment, but hard on Natasha who got her life trashed by these utter fools.

[@luenneA87]

Hmm at this point I don’t think he cared enough about her to think so much in what she believed and act upon it. But I do think he was influenced by Carrie when he chose Natasha, like Natasha was a good match but next to Carries drama and childishness she suddenly became great, 10/10.

[@toriyt2714]

If you pay attention Natasha fell in line with his type. His ex wife was a brunette skinny and poised. And that actress he fell hard for was the same. Carrie just never was it for him.

[@lorrilewis2178]

Big's dating experience and engagement to Natasha is kept a mystery. We are not shown how their relationship unfolded, much less Big's thought process. Carrie and the audience are left to speculate on why he got serious with Natasha so quickly. The series ends in Paris with Big tracking down Carrie, saying, "It's always been you." WHAT? We either have to call it bad writing ... or ... come up with a plausible reason why he chose Natasha over Carrie, in spite of Carrie being "The One". We could come up with endless stories, trying to make it make sense in light of how Big had always treated Carrie. I choose to call it bad writing.

[@7Mushrooms7]

Agree. But he always had a pattern of pursuing Carrie only when she moves on to lure her in again and not because he loves her like that. He had to be strong armed into marrying Carrie and I still think he only did it because he was getting older and wanted someone by his side and Carrie was always there. The women he really wanted (young model women) were probably not throwing at him anymore at that point, so he just settled with what was comfortable to him.

[@lorrilewis2178]

@@7Mushrooms7 The show never revealed Big's inner thoughts. Since the show was written from Carrie's point-of-view and all we hear is HER inner thoughts and questions, we are forced to guess at Big's motivations.

[@toriyt2714]

It actually happens in real life all the time. Natasha was opposite of what he just experienced with Carrie so that’s why he easily got serious with her. And of course by now we all know the ending was terrible writing and fan fare

[@lorrilewis2178]

@@toriyt2714 OMG yes, the ending was ridiculous!

[@dnycebushton5008]

shes younger, more attractive & carrie is neurotic. It wasnt worth it to him at the time....was this rhetorical?

[@lunallena5594]

Carrie the doormat after Big again. I still wonder how on Earth they ended up together. This show really misled impressionable women to extend relationships way past their expiration date.

[@dead666doll]

Not everyone assumes that all relationships must end in marriage in order to be worthwhile. Carrie never told Big she wanted to get married. Her persona was all about portraying herself as ‘not like other girls’ and being overly s3xual, drawing from ridiculous s3xist stereotypes like ‘I want to have s3x like men do - without feelings’. As she explains, when she met up with Big she would dress up in little outfits as if she were playing a character rather than being her authentic self. She only expressed her true feelings when sh!t-faced drunk. How could Big ‘string her along’ if he never once suggested that he was interested in marrying her, ever? He verbally told her that his idea of a perfect relationship is having time together and having time apart. Carrie heard what he said but she didn’t listen to what he meant. Carrie was too focused on her fantasy expectations rather than on direct verbal communication.

[@marianagoncalves3529]

The "i don't need it" about the friendship with exes!!!! TOTALLY MAKES SENSE I already have my friends, why should I keep this person in my life? WHY?

[@Stephanie_Ella]

Honestly, I think Mr. Big would've been easy to forget had the writers not kept bringing him back.. I liked her with Berger before the post-it note. I thought that SJP and Ron Livingston had good chemistry. The writers didn't have to write him to be like that, and they also made Aidan act like a baby the 2nd time around to try to PUSH the fans to root for Mr. Big, IMHO. And then the writers wrote "The Russian" to act like an a-hole pretty much the entire time. I cannot see myself doing another SaTC rewatch at this point in my life.. I'm over it.

[@elenakalliste]

Right?! Berger could have finally been the compatible person for Carrie but they just kept writing weird conflicts between the two of them that genuinely made no sense. It felt like whiplash watching them.

[@elenakalliste]

Right?! Berger could have finally been the compatible person for Carrie but they just kept writing weird conflicts between the two of them that genuinely made no sense. Just to set her up for a bunch more awful dating experiences. 🙄

[@stephysteph8558]

I'm only engaged, not married, but I agree that simple is good. When you find a good person for you, some things might be hard--like someone could lose a job, people can get sick. But relating to the person isn't hard. That's all I know. sometimes you're with a person and your needs and their needs aren't an inconvenience.

[@toriyt2714]

After enough relationships that are chaotic or emotional roller coasters, you relish in simple. I love how simple the person I’m dating is. So I guess I understand big 🤮 lol

[@AlejandraQuirogaC]

I had a friend who really liked satc, and she identified with carrie to in such a way (She was a freeloader, emotionally unstable, and studied fashions.) that she chased a dude for almost two years until, like carrie, her "big" accepted her (they are getting married soon i think). However, she put up with too much rudeness (including going with him to Canada (we are from Mexico) where the guy told her that he didn't invite her, when he did invite her) until the guy decided that he did want to commit to a relationship with her. However in the interim many of her friends (including me) stayed away from her because many times she stood us up or left like Carrie did without giving explanations because she felt bad. It worked for her and now she is happy hahahaha. Good for her but we are not friends anymore. After watching the series I understood why she had so many delusionals attitudes. I am kind upset that in order to find the security she was looking for, she had to put up with so much from a asshole guy who cheated on her, , belittled her economic position and pushed her away so many times and gave her mixed signals for so long.

[@insightsbyv]

Yeah it sucks.. especially when you loose a friend because of it..

[@AmandaSantiago-Turner]

There is something odd about your videos that relax me 😅 I love listening to your gentle rants about Carrie while working.

[@insightsbyv]

Ahahaha love this🤣

[@fthidebessai3523]

yes!!

[@Dahanaprince]

Omg same here !!

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

20:55 This is AWESOME advice! "When you get pissed and you say something childish, you can say later, ok that was dumb, why did I say that, but at the same time, I'm still feeling the same and it doesn't deny everything that I felt."

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Here's the thing; if he's the type of guy who would choose a woman truly because she does not have much going on upstairs (that's how I interpret 'simple' here) and lets him do whatever he wants, then HE'S A BAD GUY. Let him go, don't feel superior and smug and fantasize about getting him back. Big was never the prize, your own self love and peace is the prize.

[@TheTeresamori]

By simple I understand someone who is easy to get along with. By her being younger she has less baggage and probably is adaptable to Big vs Carrie who has her own ideas and is already a whole grown ass woman.

[@Some_guy_passing_by]

He would totally choose someone like Natasha , mistaking their kindness and grace for stupidity; the moment he realised that Natasha wasn't what he wanted , he wanted a way out , and the way to do that was to cheat with Carrie on her own bed !

[@radhiadeedou8286]

Simple in this context doesn't mean stupid, it's more like "npc"

[@leedlbagginshield8492]

Natasha was more intelligent than Carrie.

[@MsHoneyBBQ]

the thing that came up for me from this video is that Carrie, much like most of us who get dumped by someone we were REALLY into, is that it makes us question our own 'worthiness'. it's so painful when someone we put alot of energy into, dumps us, then turns around and gets engaged to the very next person they meet... what happened to Carrie that u explained, happened to me too. except the new woman was a couple years older than me.... and i can say that it did, for a long time, leave me questioning my worthiness as a person. made me think that i wasn't lovable and all that.... i'm happy to say that i eventually got out of that thinking, re-remembering that i AM worthy, and i think that this is why many of us have trouble really letting go and moving on after a relationship ends. it makes us feel like we're not good enough. and the thought of that really hurts. but this is the LIE. we all ARE loved. and lovable. and i've since learned that any 'percieved rejection' is actually 'divine protection'. even if i can't see that int he moment. it's a tough experience to navigate thru but most of us will do it in this life. anyway, i just wanted to reflect on this part of the video. it was nice to look back at a similar story and remember my own experience and remember how far i've come. And for anyone who needs to also be reminded, you ARE Loved. and you ARE lovable. Period. Sending 💖

[@CS-sk6ii]

Natasha is prettier and more elegant. She's a trophy for guys like Big who love to show off. That's it.

[@Stephanie_Ella]

Prettier, classier, and smarter than Carrie imho. Natasha had probably been "saving herself" for marriage (this was still a thing in the mid-late ‘90’s). *Using they’re instead of their or vice versa does not make somebody stupid. Sorry Carrie.

[@CobraDove1111]

Actually it does.​@@Stephanie_Ella

[@sparklyunicorn5431]

And she was old money rich. This is his appropriate social circle.

[@KayTea4tea]

It is not smart to marry an older guy and to think, he had no past. What do women think, who do so? That the past dissolves into thin air?

[@NatBKyiv]

@@Stephanie_Ella”saving herself” for a guy who was sleeping around for years sounds stupid

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

I cannot gush more about how much I LOVE your analysis, I think it's the best SATC breakdown I have ever seen. Thank you so much, truly! I feel entertained and enlightened in equal measure. 🙂

[@insightsbyv]

Oohh, thank you🤗 Really appreciate it🫶

[@Alayne89]

If the deal fell through in Paris, I'm wondering if he's back in NY with his tail tucked proverbially between his legs. He feels like he lost a business battle, like he's weak. So he tries to reclaim his sense of power, control, and familiarity by reconnecting with Carrie and that dynamic. And marrying Natasha would also give him that big boy victory feeling. She is a beautiful, classy wife that he could parade around at work events. He never actually cared about either of the women, just what they would do for him.

[@ravenkushner]

Big liked Carrie because she was fun and he knew he had full control over her. With his enormous ego, that was enticing. But, no, he couldn't take her seriously as a potential marriage partner, A, because he didn't want to compromise on anything and, B, Carrie's histrionics made him not see her as wife material. As far as the "friend lunch" thing, Carrie never should have reached out to him to be friends. That was not a confident move. A confident girl would just move on and be cordial if they bumped into each other, but not lie down in the road and give him another opportunity to step on her face. I don't see Big as an asshole for wanting to marry Natasha and not Carrie. Natasha was more his type. However, Natasha was an actual confident, independent woman which bruised Big's ego and made him want Carrie again. His ego needs a Carrie. Her jumping in, on the phone, to say "I know you wouldn't" was her jumping in to rescue him. If she were a real confident woman, she would have just allowed him to apologize and leave it at that. No rescuing behavior. The whole thing just confirmed for him that she's firmly under his control.

[@luenneA87]

It’s so weird that we were taught as little that not being friends or friendly with an ex is immature. Specially if “they are good people” and you love them. I think this is the same concept of “just because I can doesn’t mean I should” just because they are good people doesn’t mean they should remain in your life. Are you going to be friends with every single good person you meet? On the other hand I don’t think you can be friends with an ex unless you are 100% up to treat them like any other random friend. If you see them as your besti, you feel sexually attracted or you suddenly think “I love you/him” when spending time together/talking, then you are fooling yourself 🤷🏽‍♀️ Like friends don’t compete with whoever is in each other’s life, friends respect each other’s relationships, friends don’t feel romantic related jealousy, friends don’t flirt with each other, friends don’t feel sexual tension! you are not supposed to f your friends. I think you really have to build a whole new relationship with the ex for them to be considered friends. And what I mean with that is that new boundaries, limits and beliefs should take place because you can’t keep treating them as a romantic an intimate companion.

[@meality]

I'm friend with one of my exes. He is my best male friend, so I totally think it is possible. But it's possible in some circonstances. Like, we dated in high school and a few years after, then we broke up. We were mad at each other for a few month, but after we continue to hang out because we were friends with a lot of the same people. I was there at his marriage, and was there for him when they had a divorce. I introduced him to his new girlfriend. My partner like him very much. But it's like we are more friends than we're exes. We've been friends for more time than we dated ^^

[@dh9690]

Natasha is Big's tape of woman Carrie is not. Natasha is also confident in who she is as a woman. That's why it took only 5 months for Big to ask Natasha to marry him. At this point it was 2 years into the relationship Big barely wanted to be with Carrie in public. Carrie is a mess that was always groveling for Big's attention. During the cheating with Carrie he gaslighted Carrie he said he wanted to leave Natasha and it was Natasha that actually left Big. And Big still left Natasha money in his will. Because I think he knew messing up his marriage to Natasha was something he regretted. Carrie always loved Big more than he liked her. Dude was going to leave her at the alter, but he showed up on time for Natasha.

[@capture_diaries]

And it seems that, even if Big didn't love Natasha in a way (he probably did, just not strongly enough not to cheat on her) he had a hell of a lot more respect for her than he ever did for Carrie. Which is why he left 1 million dollars for Natasha in the will. He knew that she was a good woman who didn't deserve what he did to her, and be wanted to atone by leaving her the money. Even if Carrie got Big in the end, in Big's mind, Natasha is on a pedestal, and Carrie is easy as f***.

[@mosoulwrites]

I could never be friends with my exes ! When I am done , you are gone in eyes. Even if we ended amicable, it just reduces back tracking and trying to get broken piece together. Carrie just wanted to keep Mr. Big close just in case , but not very genuine in my eyes.

[@myheart715]

Omg 😱 I was really looking for to your upload! Also, the end of the episode where Carrie is in front of the hotel and her hair blows in the wind and she walks away from Big… that should have been THE END 👏 Carrie stepped into so much power that moment and broke her own negative cycle of being obsessed with Big… only for her to waste her own progress and go back to him 🤦‍♀️

[@insightsbyv]

I know! The show must go on I guess.. so we can B* about it more🤭🤣

[@sasha_kulhanek]

Natasha deserves better. Carrie and Big deserve each other.

[@hipnhappenin]

As a woman going THROUGH IT right now and who gets jealous easily, I was so looking forward to this analysis

[@mesCheerios]

The Way We Were never sent the message that the 2 characters should be together! It's just heartbreaking and real because they still have that attraction and deep connection when they need to break up because they are incompatible. On the other hand, I actually am great friends with my ex, and if you can get over the attraction I highly recommend it because we are able to have that deep connection without any of the attraction or jealousy that you would get if you were still attached in that way. Seriously best friendship, so happy we were able to set the boundaries we needed to then get over it.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

I absolutely believe it is possible to be friends with an ex, but it is individual and there is no one right way to do things. If my ex does not wish to be friends, I respect that! And if some people have a policy to never stay friends, great for them! Hopefully as society realizes and embraces more diversity in all things, in terms of body type, relationship types, gender preferences, etc, we can accept that some people can transition to friendship platonically, and others can't. What I do not like is the strange 'one size fits all' perspective and advice of the crowd that says exes can NEVER be friends. Like.....all relationships are different. All people are different. Live and let live, people!

[@7Mushrooms7]

In Carries case she hadn't moved on from Big, so it was an awful idea to be friends.

[@JosefineLea]

I've been friends with an ex, we were best friends even, but as soon as he met someone and it got serious he was out of the friendship. I respect that and would probably have done the same if I met someone first. I dont think its right to be friends with an ex if in a new relationship. It can never be 100% platonic. Even when him and me both said we never wanted to be together again there'd still be signs of jealousy from both sides every now and then. I don't think it's possible to just entirely stop loving someone you once loved.

[@Bambi-ek7lv]

​@JosefineLea Yeah, but that's the one-size-fits-all mentality. On some level, y'all still had a romantic attraction to each other. For those reasons, I had an ex also say we couldn't stay friends anymore because he couldn't see me in other relationships. For me, it was never a problem. It is the same with my other ex, as OP mentioned. You have to both be people who can transition those feelings. I think of it as stripping the relationship down to friendship and creating new boundaries that align with that. I also wouldn't recommend being friends right after. I think the cool-off, no-contact period was great for all of us to grieve, etc, and then come back together for a reset

[@witchf4ce310]

Never stop these videos!!! So entertaining and educational. I believe Carrie's "I know you didn't mean to hurt me" as a fear response that he thinks she's mad at him and wants nothing to do with him, because she doesn't want to lose him. I did the same with my ex when we broke up, he said I'm sorry for hurting you, I still care about you, I responded with "I understand, I care about you too" instead of just saying OK thanks, because I didn't want him to exit my life.

[@Patchouliprince]

I’m friends w almost all my exes because my biggest issue was always confusing my platonic love for romantic love lol so being friends was always the vibe anyways

[@insightsbyv]

I'm not sure if this should make me laugh...but it does🤣

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Friends with all my exes for the exact opposite reason, I tend to only want s buddies and don't plan a future or get a lot of big romantic feelings, so when the s ends there's no beef between the two of us! It tends to end because the guy wants to find a romantic committed thing and that's just not my thing. But since I'm honest and don't play games like Big, it's not a messy bad end where they are confused and sad. Carrie's issue was she attached basically all her hopes and dreams to a dude who was really just a s buddy. So I completely feel you, there's all sorts of ways exes can transition to better friends than what they were before.

[@Tomoko-mui]

I cannot stop watching these analysis videos. Because I was in a relationship with a “Big” for a year. It broke me, I let it break me too. By ignoring my values and needs for the terrible need to be seen and loved back. These videos have been so helpful, and also entertaining. Thank you! ❤

[@apocalipsislau]

My drug is back 🎉

[@soonsims]

same girl 😅

[@insightsbyv]

🤭

[@Platonicparadigm]

I really like your commentary, you are so light, easy to watch and engage. We all (literally the whole world) suffer from attention deficit disorder thanks to the dopamine addiction and watching a million reels on KZbin and Instagram so it’s hard to stick to a content but yours is an exception. I am watching your videos while I do yoga and keeps me engaged and entertained and and prevent me from overthinking . On the substance side I like the nuggets of wisdom and introspection you are doing at a collective level. We all been delusional Carries like you said. Hard to bite but it is what it is. I see you have a beautiful way to express yourself and articulate your thoughts and kudos to you that English is not your mother tongue. Keep it up Girl. You are a delight to watch. So authentic and beautifully conveyed. Love

[@soonsims]

Yesss the queen is back 🎉

[@SibilaDelphos]

The curious thing is that humans can be both things at the same time, being extremely simple for some things and complicated for others. Sometimes people identify being simple with innocence, having no character, having little life or not possessing malice or ambition, the truth is that being simple is also a product of enlightenment, that which comes with the experience in which drama and Complicating one's existence is not the final purpose.

[@jassiistda]

Love your SATC analysis! So excited also to hear your thoughts on the way we were. I haven’t seen it but would definitely be interested in a video about it from you. ❤

[@maijasSs]

I’m so happy I found your videos, great job going into detail and breaking down things that most of us have felt watching the show but couldn’t quite put into words. What’s weird about the show in my opinion is the fact that the writing never seemed fully aware of how awful Big really was. I mean sure, Carrie is often left wondering and feeling awful about something Big said or did, but always ends up with him after all - even marries him after him leaving her at the altar! I feel like the show never fully succeeded to problematize Carrie’s relationship to him. What a lost possibility… It’s almost like they changed their mind about Big mid-series and made him ”the one” for Carrie even though it felt kinda wrong and contradictory to the show’s (initial) theme.

[@c.v.3025]

I feel like the show didn’t really get into how weird it was that Big was engaged, married to, and played with a woman almost half his age, because if they did and they got into the ethics of it too much, when they eventually brought Big and Carrie back together no one would root for them knowing what kind of person he was.

[@melisafranzmannsandez8210]

I feel like the show is very clear what type of person Big is, but they don’t straight up show us, it’s in the context clues and there is many…

[@melisafranzmannsandez8210]

I feel like the show is very clear what type of person Big is, but they don’t straight up show us, it’s in the context clues and there is many…

[@chelscara]

I’m not someone that can be friends with an ex but my current partner has shown me there ways to do it that are in fact healthy and not awful. It definitely depends on the person.

[@maddievic2]

Your speaking voice is my favorite love listening to you talk about this!

[@MaximumDull]

Carrie seems like a social climber with a Cinderella complex. Natsha is a younger model of Big's ex wife, so represents who he thinks he should be with, but Carrie is the messy trifling one he eventually does end up with because they are both jerks. Toxic relationships can stimulate the brain's reward system in a way that is similar to substance addiction. She talks about breaking Big in for his next commitment as if he's a horse. She dehumanizes and stalks Natasha (calling her an idiot stick figure with no soul), who didn't do anything to her other than date and then marry her ex. Big uses Natasha like a matador's cape. I am not sure if they love, so much as love to torment each other. We can debate whether Carrie has psychological agency because she acknowledges how she shouldn't want to be saved (like Cinderella) and is given the option to marry, but then cheats on someone who questions, but ultimately accepts her mess.

[@chelscara]

10:46 preeeeeach! Obviously you can grow with people, but it was just easier for me to grow without someone else’s expectations and needs on my mind as well

[@julesvermeer2529]

I have seen SATC innumerable times but I really enjoy your comments and analysis on this series❤ thank you

[@normagonzalez1427]

You are making me think off all my relationships. I never took responsability for choosing bad, for not setting boundaries because I have always been afraid that the guy is gonna leave me and guess what, they always left. I hate to be rejected

[@midnight_blue_7]

Honestly, Big married Natasha, because she was young and gorgeous. He viewed her as a trophy wife, who he could control. Well, for a short time, Natasha proved him wrong. She showed class and dignity, which he and Carrie (both in their 40s) couldn't compared to, which meant greater expectations. He cheated on her with Carrie, because he needed to boost his self-esteem. He knew that Carrie kowtowed to him, no matter what. But deep down he had respect for Natasha, that he never had for Carrie. Natasha was my favorite character. She was always nice to Carrie, right until she caught her in her apartment. And then when Carrie offered her half-baked narcissistic apology, Natasha blew her away. Hands down - the best character in the show.

[@amandabun]

As always, an absolute watch. Twice already for me! The understanding that Big did/could not love Carrie enough to reward her with commitment is clear from season 1. The episodes of ‘secret sex’ (her so called pal mark singer slagging off the lovely lady who sold him cheese) and the ‘monogamists’ where Big is also dating Julia and his friend Max at the awful party from hell, assumes Carrie is her. Obviously big had described said Julia as ‘very special’ and not mentioned Carrie at all! Seemingly the horrifying speech Mike gave about Libby that she wasn’t pretty and didn’t want to be seen in public with her blah blah. Was reflective of how big saw Carrie. And for 6 years he continued to treat her like dirt knowing she loved him. What a dirtbag! Many smart women get fooled in the name of ‘love’. But love shouldn’t hurt that bloody much x more please! Keep em coming x

[@roxanne4820]

20:50 'thats fine go get married to NAJINSKY' that always made me laugh lol

[@hipnhappenin]

Offering a different perspective on the "simple versus complicated" that I read somewhere else regarding a different relationship... Someone can be "simple" because they are in accordance with your toxic dating patterns. Someone who is avoidant will find someone who's constantly busy and withdrawn to be seemingly "more compatible" with them than someone who challenges them to be more vulnerable.

[@selcatron]

Carrie and Big deserved each other and she did Natasha a favor lol

[@AD-zv4eo]

The passage on authenticity, safety and connections is phantastic!

[@demidu793]

So good, love your personality and thoughts on this!

[@insightsbyv]

Thank you🤗

[@melisamuresanu8544]

I live for your videos!!! 😭 The sass... unmatched!

[@insightsbyv]

🤭😁🫶

[@chelscara]

27:24 I honestly saw it as proof she’s the one always giving him permission to be shitty to her. As you said, they improve for other people more often because they are actually setting and holding standards. Carrie still lets him do whatever he wants.

[@annababana]

It MAY be possible to be friends with an ex IF: you were genuine friends before things got romantic. Friends for a long time, and no wishing on either end. Tried dating, realize friendship is was the better route. Often times, the friendship period is actually one person pining for the other, in hopes of a relationship happening. For this reason, I don't think it can happen often. On another note, I've had exes want to stay in my life and try to be friends. I would say no, and end contact... because the start of the relationship was always as a romantic partner, a life partner. The intention was always romantic, so they do not belong in my life as a friend. I have friends, what I was looking for was my partner. If that doesn't work out, they don't just transition into friendship mode... anyone else feel this way?😊

[@insightsbyv]

Yess, makes total sense!

[@julianaalencar9586]

Totally off topic, but can I just say that you always ending the video with "trust your individuality" makes me feel good (yes, I do lack self esteem)?

[@insightsbyv]

Ooh, I'm happy it does! It's something that helps me the most also.. everytime I'm in doubt, I just say 'trust your individuality' and I actually feel better😊❤️

[@21MichelleMiss]

34:15 my understanding of the dynamic in the Way we were is more of like she was pushing him to be better too much like she was idealistic and had causes worth fighting for while he ultimately chose someone with whom he could more comfortable although a less evolved version of himself, and thats not the case at all in SATC where Carrie does not seem to have any other interests than Big and she.s not pushing him to be a better person, she’s merely asking for basic commitments i see how she may challenge him by being emotional and then he needs to confront his insensitive behavior but he doesn’t respect her, so rather than he seeing Carrie as untamed he rather sees her as someone he can walk all over and then feel guilty about it, some pity mixed with remorse i see in his attitude

[@sally1850]

What a brilliant video. Thank you so much. Love your energy and personality. Lovely dose of insight with common sense. I feel better having watched this. I would appreciate your view on “men, are they serious!” Which is of course my favourite subject ;) love to everyone out there dealing with these emotional fuctards lol love from, not bitter, just paying attention lol xxxx

[@SolSolSol7]

Being friends with your ex feels like an expression we have in México: it’s like scratching the tiger’s balls. You make your own math

[@BlueBabyCloud]

“Being friends with an ex” is only possible if both parties agree that they’re better as friends as opposed to being a couple. Also, if there isn’t any sexual attraction anymore. I only have 4 people out of the 10 guys I had dated that I could really see that kind of future with. But after a breakup, I go no-contact to re-group and basically mourn for a relationship that didn’t pan out. Regardless if I knew since the beginning that this person wasn’t my going to end up as my one and only, it’s still sad that an important person will no longer be there as they were. So honestly, Samantha was right in the end 😂

[@Avoranation]

I agree with you about him being an ass and Natasha fits in more woth his vision of life but I dont think that means he loves her. Clearly he didn't love anyone properly since he keeps cheating! I think he sees women as disposable accessories to his life. Carrie is a comfy tracksuit where Natasha was his best Prada suit or w/e. I think there's an argument to say the comfy tracksuit, being the thing you keep coming back to because it's always there, easy and you're your true self, no facade. I can see over the years him being his most true self with Carrie, because he knows she will come back no matter what. It's a horrible dynamic, it's massively unfair to Carrie. Maybe he does love her and would pick her if it weren't for his vision of what he should be etc and he only gets over that once she's more prestigious in society. But that doesn't make it romantic or aspirational as relationships go. He's awful, he's nasty and uses the women around him to make himself feel better. Natasha deserved better.

[@Aerie925]

Carrie calls Big not to try to be friends with Big…she’s throwing him a line b/c whether she acknowledges it or not, this is a pick-me moment and she’s hoping that if she can steal Big away from Natasha then that means that she IS good enough. And while Big did string Carrie along, Carrie LET him string her along. Deep down she knew that it wasn’t a commitment problem…he just didn’t want to commit to her. When Carrie’s at lunch with the gals, she refuses to believe that the love Natasha and Big share was anything like or at the level of her Big. One of her friends should’ve said, “you’re right, Carrie, it’s not the same b/c he chose to marry Natasha and not you.”

[@jensendsflowers]

Another excellent video that made me reflect on my own dating life and self esteem

[@jorgegriffith5328]

On the “I didn’t like them at first” relationship stories lolol- that’s the story of me and my partner LMAO. But it wasn’t like a “I don’t like him at all” because we were actually really great friends and I thought he was an awesome person, but I wasn’t romantically attracted to him because he’s shorter than me (I’m a woman on this account). He was persistent and I gave him ONE date and the rest was history lol. We’ve been together for 15 years now

[@soonsims]

Love you accent, where is it from?

[@insightsbyv]

I guess Slovenian😁

[@krisztinasz4503]

I just love your commentary. Seriously: you are better than a psychologist! :D

[@maojen__]

Funny, I always thought I know myself quite well but wow did the realisation hit me now! I wasnt interested in my last two ex boyfriends in the beginning and they got me by being persistent and willing to "fight for me". And thats obviously my weak point😱 I didnt realize until now that this is indeed a red flag and not romantic in any way. It explains all the trouble we had later on in the relationships. Thank you for this eye opening insight🌺

[@jaynedavis3388]

You know what I would love? A series that tells the story of Big & Carey from Mr Big’s perspective. Like what happened after she smoked at the party (& checked out the guy’s crotch tattoo) ? What is Big left to deal with after every time Carey creates a scene in public & storms off? Who are his friends? Why did he choose Natasha? So many questions

[@pixiestxNyomouf]

Aiden talked and treated Aiden so bad, but he was just a reflection of her when she was with Big....and she took it all out on him

[@MsMinoula]

Unfortunately I have seen the way we were, and it's a bad movie. Something like, the girl was an activist but the man wanted his piece and quiet so he moved on. The part it was bad was that the girl was pregnant and basically he did not raise his own child (at the end of the movie they run into each other, supposedly after quite some time, and he was asking whether the stepdad to his daughter is a good dad). Also, the girl he cheated on with and later ended up with was a friend of theirs and originally she was also with someone else (their friend, too).It's been years so maybe I forget the details, but I remember it being slow, unclear of what the stakes where all along and mostly, it left me with a bad taste.

[@lannaisha5676]

i love these videos. i watched satc for the first time ever and finished the show and i was so confused why big/carrie was said to have this great love story and they ended up together…if big has no haters i’m dead

[@THutch80]

I tried to be friends with exes twice. Both times they crossed the line! It’s not possible.

[@sillyMillie186]

You can be friends with your ex only and ONLY if neither of you two have any secret agenda and you don't expect anything more. This is rarely the case right after the breakup, but it happens.

[@malenabocchia719]

I get so excited every time I see a new video posted from you V!❤ your insights are always so on point and I love your reactions, it makes me laugh every time😊

[@insightsbyv]

Aii happy to hear that!😁

[@mariatiscareno50]

Hi V. Just found your channel. You are hilarious and have some decent insights. I may not always agree (usually I may😂) but I'm always entertained. Thank you 🎉 Keep it up! You have a new subscriber. 😊

[@miranda8972]

upper class people know that that hair is a problem, carrie is too much all over the place, takes too mucha space and attention is not good for marriage or business. Big could never marry her unless she was someone that could blend in or was succesful by her own means, thats why he married her when she had some social leverage

[@toomuchinformation]

Good point.

[@jrakko]

Two of my best friends are my exes so I obviously think it can work and be great. But you gotta give yourself space to get over things first. If there is a connection that makes sense as a friendship it will still be there when you're both ready for it. Pursuing friendship too soon or for the wrong reasons will make your healing slower and harder than it needs to be at best, and lead to awful decisions like Carrie made with Big at worst.

[@KatBaumgarten]

I think it's possible to be friends with an ex - but i also think that as a general rule people shouldn't. I have friends who dated briefly, realised they didn't fit and stayed friends - mostly because getting back together was absolutely off the table for both. They even say sometimes they forget they dated at some point. I think the trouble with befriending exes is lack of reciprocity, or rather when one feels one way and the other, another. And given that even IN the relationship, lack of reciprocity is all that Carrie felt, she's a big dummy for thinking it would be any different now they were exes

[@mc-funk]

So much “depends” when it comes to being friends with an ex. If you had a toxic and dramatic relationship, once the relationship breaks apart, there’s nothing left and being in contact with that person only risks recreating the same patterns. Whereas if you had a strong companionship or friendship and then had a relationship on top of that, or had a strong partnership that split for mature reasons like “we just want different things in a relationship”, maybe you don’t want different things in a friendship and can be friends.

[@TwoSugarsandMilk201]

I just love your satc videos!!!

[@PrettyPrincess9609]

No there are two types of girls. The girl like Carrie who cheats on a good man to get with her ex who she knows is married to another woman yet she villainizes that woman. The second girl is the girl like Natasha who gets cheated on by a man she married who she thought she could trust. Despite her being the victim, she is villainized by the home wrecker ( the first type of girl) and her friends. I’m the second type. My ex ( then boyfriend ) cheated on me with his best friend.

[@AmandaSantiago-Turner]

This is the exact reason why the advice of ‘not to chase a man or to sleep with him on the first few dates’ exist. Almost any man would take you cuz why would they reject free sex? But you risk: Falling in love and not to allow him to desire you, to have to chase you as their biology makes them crave. And, if he never chases you… guess what? He was never into you! Don’t risk having your heart ripped and your precious time wasted like Carrie. It’s not about being feminist or not. It’s about working with our sex’s nature and being realistic and smart 😉

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Always was the first date sort (I'm a woman). That offer's been rejected PLENTY of times by men, lol. Men are people too, you know, plenty get nervous or want to wait or have religious issues. And I only fall if I enjoy sleeping with them, which is not most of the time, so if I don't enjoy it I don't waste more of my time! In countries with the most rights for women, (Scandinavia, Germany, Switzerland) being together on the first date is more common. In countries with less women's rights, women are discouraged from 'going too fast' and blamed if they do. I think that should say it all. We have to get rid of regressive advice like this. Do what works for you, and for some women, it's bed first, everything else second.

[@AmandaSantiago-Turner]

@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 sure… go ahead and sleep with all on the very first date and then don’t come here at almost 40 complaining why you haven’t been proposed

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

@@AmandaSantiago-Turner Ummm.....I am in my 40s. Never wanted marriage, turned down offers. Happy as a clam. 🙂

[@aidacailar1126]

This. Big seduced Natasha in a "traditional" way, because she was a lady, and ended up marrying her. Carrie on the other hand slept with him very fast, which made him not take her seriously.

[@emmamartin4045]

@@AmandaSantiago-TurnerBeing “proposed to” isn’t a life goal for a lot of women, you know. We can live without male validation.

[@taylormade9748]

I think I’d rather not go through hoops for a guy. I’d rather simply be a Natasha tbh lol

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

I bet Natasha jumped through plenty of hoops for Big. Remember, she waited in the car, at her own engagement party!! While Big got his face stroked lovingly by his ex asking why it wasn't her. I bet she put up will all sorts of silly, we just didn't see her side.

[@taylormade9748]

@FishareFriendsNotFood972 yeah that’s true. She didn’t wait forever for marriage like Carrie did and knew when to move on. I like Carrie since I was a kid and would see some of the show only my mom would allow when I was younger lol. I love that we see how raw and real Carrie’s life is/was, but irl I’d definitely want to mirror Natasha in regards to relationships and how she chose herself over Big.

[@Adina_Cohen]

It’s a case by case situation but in my opinion is there was deep love and a long relationship. Then no for you mental health you need to move on. You can stay friendly. If you have the same friend group. If it’s been YEARS. And both parties have moved on it’s possible. Also if you dated for a couple months but love didn’t happen. Also possible. Love and attachment is the key. It’s not immature to have healthy boundaries. If the situation calls for distance.

[@rociocuesol]

I don’t think u can be friends. Time has to pass and heal and stuff.

[@Cat3deye]

In my opinion, Carrie is feeling remorse and guilty of her outburst at the restaurant. Because, what she expresses to Big's face is her raw emotion on the moment. She validates what she is feeling on her own to his face and she has never done that. Least of all in front of Big. Their relationship has all the workings of a co-dependent relationship where she depends on his praise to feel good and he depends on her needing his praise to feel good. He chooses Natasha because she has a lot of social clout and I think she is what a wife should be in the eyes of his social milieu. And being friends with your ex depends on you having children together or you being friends before being together, together. And the politician, lets not take harassement and abuse of power (him being a white man and a politician...) for persistance. And the later is only a positive thing when you are persistent when learning a new thing or making an effort you choose to do. Being bullied into submission by a man who thinks it's romantic, is just a power move by a privileged a-hole. My opinion.

[@sodbaz4882]

Amazing!! This series is so educational and entertaining Question, why do you call us Mary? Lol

[@tomokosavelyeva4085]

It's totally possible to be friends with your ex. I think it just depends on the reason you broke up. If it was a mutual decision and you're both calm and reasonable people- why not?! Not every relationship ends because one person hurt the other.

[@insightsbyv]

I agree!👍

[@marad786]

This! So long as neither of the people are still secretly a bit in love with the other, it definitely can work. My mum is still friendly with some of her exes from the 80’s 😂

[@maxiaolizaixian]

i enjoy these series sooooo much! and I haven't even watched this show 😂 I tried couple ears ago but the first episode made me so pissed off with the stupidity that I stopped. But from social perspective these show influenced women of my generation around the world, and you are so charming and smart and spicy, so you can call me Mary anytime ☺️

[@ARTEEMFRASCOS]

In my country we call it Poor vs. Middle Class

[@thirty_ish2890]

I love these videos 🙏🏻

[@Diademischief]

I mean we legit know nothing about what Big is actually doing most of the time. We dont even know if he was actually monogonous with Carrie. He could have been cheating with Natasha the whole time. At the very least he was probably cheating emmotionally. Maybe he even moved to Paris because of Natasha and just lied. Based on his actions there's literally no reason to believe Big is a good person with literally any moral compass. Like I think theres a super real possibility she was always the other woman. They never even lived together. She could barely sleep over. I think Big was just out playing ppl and shes never even been a main character to him.

[@LaRossaSelvaggia]

I watched The Way We Were when it first came out (I was 15 or 16), and I thought it was stupid.

[@AlexNur07]

By complex you mean rude, desperate, with low self esteem? Yup. That's Carrie. While Natasha was classy, beautiful and kind.