The Psychology and Aftermath of Auditions | Dear Hollywood Episode 8

TW: Simulating Trauma. Out of 500,000 hopeful artists, only 205 will make it. Everyone else will face repeated rejection at auditions. So, what does a child really face when they pursue the industry? Brace yourself for the rollercoaster of learning how to play characters and bring scenes to life. Learn what happens when a child depicts explicit or traumatizing material. Dig into the impact of typecasting, hierarchies of cast members, and being sexualized during puberty.
As an independent podcast, your support means a lot. Subscribe and follow @alysonstoner to join the conversation. New episodes every Friday.
Privacy Policy here: www.betterhelp...
50% off Movement Genius for 250+ classes and tools to care for your mind, body and emotions:
bit.ly/DearHol...
Privacy Policy here: www.betterhelp...
Follow Alyson Stoner:
Instagram: / alysonstoner
Facebook: / alysonstoner
TikTok: / alysonstoner
Video filmed and edited by: Crispy Chicken / crispychickenco
Dear Hollywood on Spotify: open.spotify.c...
Dear Hollywood on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple...
Business Inquires: [e-mail]
About Alyson Stoner:
Alyson Stoner is a multi-hyphenate known for their on-screen acting work in franchises such as Step Up and Camp Rock to dancing with the likes of Missy Elliot and Eminem and now their original digital content across all her platforms. Alyson is also the founder of Movement Genius, a digital wellness platform that provides live and on-demand classes to help you improve your mental, emotional and physical well-being.

[@MamaMargie]

As a nurse I had to “derole”. I would use my walk out of the hospital to stop thinking about the patients & trauma. I compartmentalized that part of my life. It is hard. I can’t imagine doing this as a child actor.

[@teacupolous]

Def derole as a teacher.

[@ashleigharnold7069]

Same! I was thinking about this myself as a therapist working with kids…you truly need a ritual to step out of your work persona and away from the stress/trauma you encounter daily and return to yourself or else burn out happens real quick…we all play roles I guess

[@Magic-dn4yp]

This reminded me of police & how you can often tell a police officer even when they’re off. ‘de-role’ is such an interesting concept for jobs that ask a lot of you mentally & to wear/develop a sort of mask

[@rosamariabest6069]

Yep, I'm a teacher's aide. I have to force myself to let go of the students' problems after I clock out. @@teacupolous

[@CaliMel184]

I wasn't even medical staff, I was just the receptionist who helped billing and I had to do the same thing. I compartmentalized to stay sane. But it was also sad because things that should disturb you just don't any more. You become numb. and that's when it was time for me to leave.

[@Yagirlreacts]

Hey Alyson, I was considering allowing my son (age 1) to do acting/modelling gigs until he was 3 to help pay for his future schooling as I’m a solo parent. This series has really made me sit down and examine whether or not I would be a good enough advocate for my son in these settings. I’ve decided against any type of child working as I don’t believe I would be the absolute best advocate for him. Thank you for these videos, thank you for the work you continue to do. I’m excited to see the action plan and ideas you have to make this industry safer for our kids.

[@ChrissyMarshall_]

Hi- just wanted to extend my thanks for your diligence to adding captions. As a deaf director I appreciate having access to information on how to make my sets safe 💜

[@TheRealAlysonStoner]

I’m so glad! Shout-out to Mina and Joe for making sure they’re added each time. I’m working on Artist well-being toolkits right now and have a Deaf & hearing ASL team creating a signed version. Excited for more resources to be available!

[@ChrissyMarshall_]

@@TheRealAlysonStoner that’s amazing, thank you so much! I plan on telling authentic stories working with disabled child actors in the future and appreciate learning to how help them to feel safe and comfort as possible in set 💜🤟

[@AWindy94]

​@@TheRealAlysonStoner Thanks Mina and Joe! 👏🙏🫶

[@dchouk2680]

I love how promptly and respectfully you addressed the sponsorship situation! ☀️ Over the years I’ve seen many creators ignore and obfuscate the issue, so it was really refreshing to see someone discuss it and move forward in a way that is congruent to how they describe their moral values and responsibilities :) You continue to dismantle my pre-conceived notions of “famous people” being one sort of way. Looking forward to watching more with iced coffee in hand 💁

[@DanielMartinez-dk9te]

Thank you for addressing the betterhelp situation!… I knew all along that your heart was in the right place. I’m actually happy that betterhelp helped you by sponsoring. They just broke my trust long time ago and I won’t be using their services, but I’m glad they are at least paying for this quality content to be created. And for everyone out there, just like Alyson, you could have a good experience. Please read, learn and educate yourself before using them, but if you decide to use them, I wish you the best and I pray for you to get a great experience from it.

[@PeacefulMoments-f8c]

Good on her for taking responsibility ❤

[@careless_daughter]

i want to agree with you, because i also think alyson’s heart is in the right place and i believe this show deserves support, but idk… one of the strongest messages alyson has imparted to us over the past few weeks is that just because some people have positive experiences with a person or organization doesn’t mean that others haven’t suffered at their hands, and it’s harmful to allow the perpetrator to continue their behaviors through inaction and tacit (or in this case outright) endorsement. partnering with BH goes against that message. there ARE other ways to support the show, it doesn’t absolutely have to be this. and alyson, if you see this: even if you don’t drop BH as a sponsor (though i hope you’ll reconsider), i think it would be good for future episodes to link back to this one so new viewers/listeners can hear your statement, as well as include comprehensive links to information on the company’s history (ftc’s official rulings, customer testimonials, news reports on the other myriad controversies, etc) that can help people at least make informed decisions

[@the1law500]

I dislike the part where it supports leaning on a device for emotional support. We as humans need each other, we need presence, deeper authentic healing. BH feels like a technocratic tool for a totalitarian regime. Total monitoring through tacit agreement. We are losing our connection to the gifts of being physical. When we return to light, we can swim through the internet all we want. While we are here, alive, we need each other.

[@JoannaEve]

Well said and agreed

[@TheSwauzz]

@@the1law500 This is a very, VERY privileged outlook. Not many people can afford or have access to traditional therapy. May want to just focus on yourself and your own needs on this one, just saying...

[@alexandersmirnov7851]

"Auditioning is actually the job, booking a role is the vacation" Wow! What a great way to put it!

[@mego581]

I used to be soo jelous of her when I was a kid… but honestly I’m so thankful for the childhood I had. She’s amazing for bringing up these important points

[@yasminc.c.3901]

I'm particularly curious about this one. When I watch more mature movies/shows with children in them I always wonder how dealing with this "adult" themes in their acting affects these kids psychologically and if they receive enough emotional support to minimize it. Btw I'm loving this series so far :)

[@Beach_flower]

I always think about this too! Was just thinking about this as an ad for that new exorcist movie popped up 😬

[@c471]

I know Hollywood is boycotting AI, but I feel like using AI to make child characters could be beneficial. That way, they are not having to go through all this trauma.

[@Beach_flower]

@@c471 wow that's a great point! I never thought about that.

[@AlekcisIwiye]

Some famous people who advice to keep going no matter what, are those entertainers who have been so bitten down by the industry that they don’t want to be alone in their misery. They are recruiting misery buddies, and are also trying to find a younger generation of entertainers that they can abuse the same way they were abused. Not trying to be pessimistic, but be safe y’all.

[@Jill-ih9dq]

This is the first time I’ve really reflected on how my acting experiences were inherently traumatic and caused certain emotions and sensations to stay in my body for long periods of time. Thank you so much Alyson for your insight.

[@alicjakempisty2729]

Your stories about auditions reminded me of my looking for a regular office job. The numbers are lower bc they say you need to send out just a 100 resumes to get 10 answers - and then go through a few stages of recruitment. I wasn't trying to get a big break so in that sense the pressure was lower too and of course I was an adult! But the feeling of running around town, wasting hours and hours on projects I never heard back on, the emotional toll of being professional but cool but serious but friendly, pretending I'm passionate about whatever the company was doing, dealing with constant rejection and uncertainty about my future - it's all very much there. It did a number on my self esteem. I can't imagine what it does to child.

[@bryanna_renaee]

Yess 💯💯💯 I thought the same thing. Interviewing feels like acting and even being in the job itself. Being alive in this society is exhausting.

[@costanzapolastri]

i actually think something like Patreon, Tipeee or some other platform to let the public fund this project would be a better alignment than any sponsor could ever be :) it's your choice in the end and i'm a big believer in the "get that bag" philosophy bc indie artists gotta eat, but hey maybe you could consider crowdfunding, since this series is going so well!

[@TheSwauzz]

So... you want the debt-drowned general public to fund this instead of companies who can genuinely afford to? Crowdfunding encourages people to spend their money, even if they don't really have any extra. I'd rather see Betterhelp pay for this than Lucy down the street. And before people say "well, they make the choice". Yeah, then you don't understand the human psyche these days when it comes to parasocial relationships, setting a precedent for problematic choice-making and FOMO. There's a reason why streamers and other content creators can make millions while their viewers go into debt. At the end of it all, you either trust Alyson or you don't.

[@aliciamichelle955]

I think Patreon can be great for more established channels, but I think the goal of this podcast is to spread awareness to as wide of an audience as possible

[@thatleidy]

Listening to your stories made me realize that I’m glad I never booked movies or shows as a child. My parents couldn’t afford to fund my dream. So they made me give up. I’m actually grateful this happened. The way the I grew up was already hard plus adding these elements on top of it. I don’t know if I would be here on Earth anymore.

[@evalynn1863]

I've had this same thought. I was big into theatre in school and went to a few auditions for things shot locally but couldn't afford to go further than that because my parents wouldn't let me. I'm really glad I didn't get in any deeper.

[@tomboy2980]

I feel there's a compromise somewhere between letting your kid do what they're passionate about while also keeping them healthy and safe. That's part of the reason I adore the unsung heroes who pour insane amounts of effort into organizing small, local clubs and camps for kids. Kids can do what they love without demanding too much of them, seeing them as only a product, or signing away the next 5-15 years of their lives.

[@RockinLoud360]

Idk, she sounds a little angry for no reason. Some of this is just common sense and nobody is forcing a person to act. Yeah its a grueling process but its worth it. Some people just handle situations better than others.

[@evalynn1863]

@@RockinLoud360 I mean, if someone says being held at gunpoint and tortured for hours is traumatizing, I don't think you need to say "well some people wouldn't be traumatized from that." The situation and environment these kids are in is traumatizing. It is far beyond what should be expected of children. Just because some people have handled it better doesn't make it any less problematic, and she's given the research and psychology behind why. You don't get to argue with facts.

[@RockinLoud360]

@@evalynn1863 But like complaining that you had to have your first kiss on camera… like so because of you, we cant let the character go through an event? Like what a crybaby comment

[@cetaceous_rex]

Thank you for addressing the sponsorship so transparently! You continue to impress me with your thoughtfulness and capacity for calm, nuanced discourse.

[@laurawalsh7063]

I was a chronically ill and disabled kid, I got lucky and made it to adulthood. It's astonishing how similar the impacts of having a Narc/BPD parent duo and a rare illness where you get paraded about for treatments, research, money makes the impact so similar. I didn't expect that when I came here for this. I've been in therapy a long time, but this series has given me a new angle to approach some of my trauma from...even recognizing it AS trauma to start.

[@Nae318]

Your response to the betterhelp situation is what I wish more content creators would do when facing conflict with viewers and posted content. It was transparent, informative, non-judgemental, and owned up to your role in the conflict while soliciting input to help avoid these scenarios going forward as much as possible. You can’t make everyone happy, and this response isn’t an attempt that, but it is showing a respect and value for your audience to create even more impactful content. I really wish this was the norm. Thank you for truly valuing people watching and hearing what you’re saying, and caring about the impact of what you’re saying. Too many creators would ignore it or put out a sound bite statement and move on. The authenticity here is beautiful.

[@kourtneymcmillan7896]

as an actress who’s trying to transition from theater to film and have been taking audition classes this is video triggering and soul crushing almost

[@BadKidBaby]

I grew up in LA, and was "discovered" at age 5 during a piano recital. My mom started taking me to auditions, and after going to several of them, they started making me feel uncomfortable and I told my mom I didn't want to go to them anymore. I'm so grateful that she listened to me and never forced me to continue on (especially since it wasn't my choice to start acting anyway). I still dabbled in the arts for fun and was encouraged to perform in other ways that were fulfilling and helped me grow as a person (and helped me find my authentic self). The arts are supposed to be fun! I knew a couple of kids who had good experiences and still work in the industry as adults today, and my hats off to them, but I saw it do more harm than good to some of my other friends who started working as actors and models young. Thank you for sharing your experience, Alyson! ♥

[@Alacorey]

This was a particularly insightful conversation that I feel is important for a lot of hopefuls to hear. I’m a youth Talent Manager in Los Angeles and former child actor. I try to never lose sight of the psychological impact of not only the process young people go through to try and achieve their dreams but also the individual emotional complexities that exist for them as they work hard to bring honesty to each scene and character. I am sensitive to the continual “ask” given to these kids on the daily. I don’t think enough awareness is given to the topic of Hollywood and performance and the weight that these brave young minds and hearts have to carry. I applaud your candid commentary of the industry through your well spoken and open hearted lens. ❤🤓👏🏻

[@MykaGhostt]

This whole podcast has been wild. In this specific episode I kept thinking back to a time where I was in elementary school. I was involved with a school play, and I did so well with my performance that I had multiple adults come up to my mom and I, saying how great a job I did. Later on, my mom had asked me if I wanted to pursue acting. I told her no because the anxiety before stepping on stage was a lot and I didn't like that part. It was never brought up again. This podcast has made me wonder what I would have turned into as a person had I actually wanted to become an actor. Quite frankly, I don't think I would have gotten far. My family was poor to begin with, but more than that, I likely would have been far more emotionally and psychologically damaged than I already was because of my environment. I'm not well off financially, but at least I'm a more stable person who refuses to people please and acts in my own self interests. I don't think I could have become who I am now through a life of being a young actor, so I'm grateful I didn't go down that route.

[@maddyking8824]

Hey Allison! I personally use Backline, which is a mental health service for industry workers. They are AMAZING, and I would love you see you partner with them! As someone who works on the back end of the industry doing paperwork and logistics, I lean on them tremendously for support. This podcast is also helping me as I can apply a lot of what you’re saying to my own personal experience. Even though I’m not a performer, or someone who started as a child, but having a bird eye view of everything you speak about, as well as receiving my own “feedback” from the same sources that disrespect the talent makes this all so meaningful. Thank you for leading this movement, and being such a huge part of my journey of self growth & love.

[@Aythya_valisineria]

I keep thinking while listening to these episodes: is there a way we (consumers of media) can tell if a set is ethical for employees/actors? How can we do the research so we make informed choices when watching media? This has definitely opened my eyes, now when I watch shows I genuinely see actors on set as the people they are, rather than just consuming media so carelessly. Thank you for this important podcast ❤️

[@TheRealAlysonStoner]

Mmm that’s super interesting. 🤔 Similar to how people learn about stuff going on w corporations/brands… or how restaurants are given letter scores.. Hm. I know it’s fairly common for people in the industry to hear what certain sets are like, but I wonder what would happen if there was more transparency for the general public 🤔🤔🤔 great thought starter!

[@newworldlord643]

And this is why I say acting and entertainment work are for people who come from wealthy families or families who are financially Well off . The amount of resources needed the average person cannot compete. Time resources .. energy resources and monetary resources. I've always said this

[@notsoamericangirl2568]

My little experience of rejection: I live in a small village in a small country, but this village has one of the best acrobatic gymnastics clubs in the whole world. As a toddler (5yo) I was selected for the pre-competition team, then 1 year later I was brought into the competition team (not to compete: minimum age is 9 yo, but to help train a base, I was just a flyer with decent stability). Another year later I was returned to the pre-comp team and 1 more year later I was kicked out entirely from these selective groups. My world imploded. From one day onto the next I went from confident outgoing person, to extremely self-concious shy person. Yes, I had always been a bit shy, but once in an established group I was a goofy person. Now, not anymore. Just this small experience of rejection imploded my entire self-image, so I cannot imagine what child-stars in the industry go through on a day-to-day basis. I am recovered now, but it took my almost a decade to build back my self-confidence without feeling like my reason for feeling confident could be taken away at any moment. I truly hope everyone who went through something similar can build themselves up again.

[@healinganhaitian1507]

I want you to know I genuinely now fully refuse to watch any show with kid actors. The ick factor I got from watching our videos have grown exponentially, and I really can't. I just see children now, being groomed and abused, and it's horrific now. There's no space in my brain now to even be able to justify to myself at all. Your work is profound, thank you for it.

[@magicalnarwhal2]

The more I speak to my actor friends and watch things like this, the more I relate the acting industry to the animation industry. Breaking into the industry. Being cast for projects, being able to draw in any style, not being able to choose what projects you take, and having a strong portfolio -- and having the right people see your portfolio. Auditioning for shows by taking an art test. Being able to match the style of any show, knowing how to Draw, Paint, animate, Storyboard etc. aka being versatile enough to take on other roles when there is no work in your discipline. Being typecast into working in preschool, television animation v.s. doing feature films. Not being taken seriously by the film industry as a legitimate form of film-making. Working for years waiting, hoping you get a sweet sweet project or that your years of training and work get you a job... Being both technically skilled enough, and having that unique something that gets you noticed. I admire this series a lot and it's super interesting to me seeing the similarities in different fields. Thanks for sharing Alyson!

[@shaybaybaybaybaymarie]

As someone who acted for fun, I LOVED the audition process. Same with job interviews. I love them. It’s a challenge intimidating the people who are there judging you. It might be a bit reverse psychology and I might have a backwards mind about it compared to the average person, but it gave me a thrill I loved. I will say, it IS exhausting and after awhile the process can be grating.

[@nicoleclavel3876]

Sounds like bipolar disorder 😂❤

[@ViCT0RiA6]

i remember when jeanette mccurdy said how she heard her agent as a child saying "no you cant audition for that role they are looking for ethereal pretty and youre homey pretty" like i couldnt imagine what that would do to me as a child

[@tayloreh]

I've had positive experiences with Betterhelp as well, and was glad they could work with my, at the time, paltry budget. But I understand they have a lot of trust to hopefully repair as well. Can't wait to jump into the episode - as a former child actor myself, this series has been profound. I'm unpacking years that I used to just view as the overall best of my life, and seeing the harms they left behind deeper than ever before. I also began disassociation around 13/14. Quick update: I see how I decided from the parts I booked that I was the quirky nerd, somewhat internally and externally tortured but hey - hes loveable, hyper capable and almost always happy too, and that contradiction certainly became a box I was locked in with daily life too. Almost always supporting recurring roles, guest roles, etc, never the main character, but feeling like the main character in my small town life. Voice acting later on was so freeing as I could see identity much more subjectively though and suddenly I was, at times, booking drastically different characters, and often leads too.

[@elliefc92]

I feel like even a well-adjusted adult would struggle during this process. I can't imagine what it might do to a child's sense of self and self-esteem.

[@christycarlsonromano]

I am always so proud of you.

[@emilychatelain6474]

Hi Alyson! I can't tell you enough how much I've been enjoying this podcast. I fell in love with musical theatre as a kid, and I decided in 8th grade that I wanted to pursue it seriously. Unfortunately, years of dance classes, voice lessons, acting classes, a BFA and a year an a half living in New York later, I realized that 1) I was never going to be the right "type" for the kinds of roles that truly inspired me and 2) growing up, I never had access to the quality/kind of training I needed to even be competitive in the industry to begin with. After COVID, I cut my losses and pivoted into a more traditional career and after a period of grieving and processing, I realize I've never been so at peace with myself. I LOVED what you said about Oscar winners saying "don't give up on your dreams no matter what" because I had the same experience watching the Tony's as a kid. When I stepped away from theatre, I experienced an overwhelming sense of loss. Not only was I unsure of who I was if I wasn't an actor, I also felt like a "failure" for having "given up" on my dream. Please, please let's normalize trying something, realizing it doesn't actually align with your values/what you really want out of your life and stepping away from it and that being ok and not a sign of having "given up" or "failed"

[@princessamani]

I remember the day I was done with auditioning. I had been without an agent for around 6/7 years, and was finding auditions online. I quit my job and thought I'd give myself a year to make it (I'd seen several success stories of actors who said they made it in a year). I came home from an audition for a play where I ran around doing sports activities and miming for an hour without actually acting, and did not get a callback. That was it for me. My agent told me at 9 years old that the success ration was 100 auditions to 1 booking, however I always felt like a failure for never booking. I felt like I was in the graveyard of unsuccessful castings. After a while your self worth is eroded, and your essence is gone. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for those who are blessed to make it, but I just couldn't take it anymore.

[@avalonhigh55]

Listening to this episode, I was particularly interested in something you touched upon in the last couple of minutes of this episode, about how most actors have zero say in the messaging and the overall creative direction of the project they're working on. I think these days especially viewers/public easily conflate the actors personal sociopolitical views, personalities, sexuality (this is a huge one), etc. with those of the characters they "choose" to portray, which often lead to a barrage of online hate and harassment. Some recent examples of this that come to mind include Elsie Fisher in the newest season of The Summer I Turned Pretty, Joey King in the Kissing Booth franchise, Sofia Carson in Purple Hearts, Kit Connor in Heartstopper, etc. On a completely different note, I'd also like to hear about the potential "mindfuck" (for lack of a better word) of the act of having to really enthusiastically promote a certain project you've worked on after shooting, especially if that experience was not a very happy or fulfilling one. I can only imagine how psychologically messy and exhausting to have to pretend (often months or up to 2 years later) that you're best friends with the cast and crew and you love when in reality you haven't thought about them or the project for a very long time. Tldr; very keen on hearing your general thoughts about internet parasociality and by extension, "stan" culture if that's something you're comfortable sharing :)

[@katiegarcia8255]

This was just SO fascinating- I could have listened to you talk for hours! Thank you for sharing such personal, vulnerable stories, while also giving a “broad picture” of the process. This process reminds me of a similar process of elite athletes. The auditions, criticism, hours of training, money spent, only to find that a very few “make it.”

[@trinaq]

Thank you for these insightful videos, Alyson. Children deserve to have a childhood, first and foremost, and shouldn't be subjected to any toxicity from the seedy entertainment industry. I'd never force any future child of mine into that position.

[@angelaholmes8888]

Yep totally agree I feel bad that child actors loose a big chunk of their childhood

[@realSethMeyers]

I think your description of the audition process and its tolls, and especially the observation that most bookings are for short shoots, have helped me dismantle a piece of the "celebrity" construct in my mind. A confirmation that, with regards to a given public figure, I as a member of the public truly DON'T KNOW the person as a person.

[@samwazadini99]

I find these videos so fascinating, I don’t think anyone would think child stars have it easy but the deep dive brings up a lot I would never think of. As for finding my authentic self, in my 30s and still trying, it’s a continuous work and I find myself repeatedly checking in with myself and recognising people pleasing behaviours and other triggers. I wish I could go back and speak to my younger self for 20 mins, but then….we are our lessons so it would probably take away from who i am now

[@LibraryFairy762]

I love this show and I find it very useful to help parse and describe my experiences. As a performer who was mostly chasing much smaller scale projects than tv, movies, or commercials (think college theater, non-union theater projects, and community theater), I think a lot of this is really really relatable not just in the most intense communities (Hollywood, Broadway), but also in smaller performance communities. I never dyed my hair for fear of appearing too specific for a role in auditions - I always wanted to be a blank slate, I could be anyone, so I never developed what I wanted to look like, I was always depending on other people to hand me an appearance that would work. I am just now, a decade into my adulthood, starting to like my own face and perceiving myself as main character material. Keep doing what you're doing

[@Jill-ih9dq]

I had a very similar experience. Especially when acting on a smaller scale, there is no room to express your individuality.

[@Brookec2410]

This psychology behind the audition process is so valuable as both an amateur filmmaker and an admirer of actors and what they're capable of. When interacting with actors, knowing they're likely reading the room and simultaneously feeling like they're under a microscope AND looking to people please, how can we help make them feel more comfortable and just like any other human and remind them its ok to be themselves? Thank you for sharing.

[@j4242]

Man, I quickly got over the audition process, it's so draining, exhausting, costly and man do you have to drop ev.er.y.thing to make your self available at the last minute for even the smallest of auditions and jobs. On top of that everyone is telling you "don't take it personally." Sure, Jan. I look back and think NO WAY I would every do that again. Great work, Alyson, keep it up. Your honesty about the industry and pulling back the curtain is so refreshing and so needed. Is it really any wonder how nepo babies who have all the time in the world and so much disposable income "make it"? You really do need to have a lot of privalage usually to even get a toehold in.

[@madelisem4550]

Now that youve phrased it like this, my inability to 'role' and 'de-role' were some of the primary reasons i stopped pursuing being a lawyer. At 22, I was volunteering in multiple criminal and domestic violence law jobs. Often I was tasked with the more traumatic cases because other volunteers were younger. There was no training, and although second-hand trauma was a term I was familiar with, there was no assistance to manage playing the role of 'sympathetic but unaffected' to peoples worst moments. It may have been helpful to see being a lawyer as a role or mask to don. For those late formative years, I was bringing all of myself to it and I absolutely couldnt leave cases behind. Thank you for giving words to my experience I'm still understanding ❤

[@shainahiggins2217]

I was a regional stage actor (and an adult), but the type casting thing always made me crazy. In an art form where suspension of disbelief is key for both performer and audience, I wish directors and casting directors would be more open minded. I got told multiple times that I was "hard to type" and that was going to limit my opportunities ("Your face is one thing, and your body's another, and your strong suits are sometimes something else entirely," as I was once candidly told). It really wears you down over time to be rejected over things that you have no control over, and no ability to change. To say nothing of how bizarre it is to look at human qualities and experiences, form a conception of what those qualities and experiences look like personified, and then say, "This image is the only presentation that audiences will find believable." It's reductive on every level.

[@sindicta5757]

They have not shared "clinical data" because technically, your IP and email don't count as "clinical data" - however when they share, in real time, when you log in and start a therapy session, it becomes more nuanced. So they're not lying, they're just getting by on a technicality brought on by how slow the law is to catch up with technology.

[@amandamandamands]

Exactly they shared everything that they could without it being a HIPAA violation. You can learn a lot from metadata though and it is more than enough to get targeted ads etc.

[@michelletalbot2281]

4:20 seconds in and my heart is starting to break for 8 yr old Alyson already..how does a family leave for a vacation and leave their 8yr old child/family member behind to work? Smh im sure her family loves her and did what they thought was best at the time but hearing this...smh..just..no im sorry i cant imagine doing that to anyone let alone a young child. 😢

[@pimpking5000]

That contract with the salary beforehand is a trap. Seen many actors say they get locked in and when the show skyrockets they still get small percentages

[@bxnny0374]

I had a horrible experience with Betterhelp... I was definitely a bit hurt when I saw the sponsorship last week. Thank you for believing us when we spoke out!

[@viceb7]

What happened? I've had a great experience

[@sadiewood7302]

i remember when i was really into acting and musical theatre when i was a pre teen i took acting classes from a pretty well connected coach and i was always envious of the other kids talking about the jobs they booked and auditions they were going to all the time. knowing what i know now i’m kinda glad i never got involved in that. you’re doing so much good with this podcast, alyson

[@AmandaMBooks]

Thank you for addressing the situation!! I think it would be amazing to see sponsorships from mental health apps like Calm and Headspace, personally I’ve had great experiences with them 🥰

[@peachxtaehyung]

Yesss

[@amzztv04]

0:30 Alyson thank you for taking accountability & also being honest that you genuinely didn't know. You are human, so you are not going to know everything❤. I very much understand the business side of things, so feel free to do sponsors & of course do your research on them. xx

[@cozyfloret]

really looking forward to the next episode. hearing how many times you audition vs book roles had me so curious bout the kids getting pushed into acting for money reasons (which makes no sense to me with how much it costs to even get to the point of actually booking something). which is already a HUGE burden to put on a child. knowing the stage parent for a lot of these kids the was/is abusive and/or forcing this life on their child and then hearing how the audition process goes... i can't imagine the mental anguish a child must feel when failing auditions. it truly breaks my heart. and then thinking of the child being scared of how their abusive parent may react to another failed audition... it's just sooo much for a child to understand and navigate. i'm so glad you have created this series. it's such a good and important look into the effects of this world on a child. i have a feeling this series is going to help save/protect a lot of children in the industry (or kids/families considering it), and help the parents of said kids learn how to protect them properly. keep up the amazing work, alyson! ❤❤❤

[@Luceisamisfit]

As an extremely high masking autistic adult, I really relate to this episode as my mask very much feels like a character that I’ve portrayed for my whole life and it’s now almost impossible to distinguish between the two. A very insightful episode as always.

[@dledee]

You forgot about the auditioning part where omg you booked the pilot and everything is great and you have a 7 years contract. And then the network doesn't actually pick up the show and you're back to square one

[@Lainey97]

I aspire to be as well spoken, educated, empathetic and just all around a good, kind and intelligent person as you are. You are so inspiring to me in many ways. Thank you for this podcast, and for being you. Sincerely, Elaine aka a longtime fan of yours❤

[@lemili524]

I love Friday mornings now because I know another episode is coming! Keep up the amazing work Alyson 💖

[@manseyful]

Skillshare could be a good sponsor to look at, considering a lot of what we've explored so far has circled back to a fear of failing with no skills to fall back on. Gaining skills and having that be more accessible is always a great thing no matter the stage in life :)

[@MeganMize-q3g]

Everything you’re saying is bringing back so many memories from growing up. I actually remember going to the International Model and Talent Agency week in Los Angelos (IMTA). In fact you were a speaker there. This was about 17 years ago. My parents spent thousands of dollars on it because that was the “norm” to do if you wanted to book an agent and become “discovered.”

[@cassandravnook2973]

When I was young, I too wanted to be a childhood actor. After learning all of the work needed (through trial n error) the money needed to invest, while trying to navigate the scams.... I became disgusted with this industry. When I turned 19 I pursued to become a model, seemingly very similar industry. Alyson, thankyou for casting a light on the dark shadows this industry has. I now work for myself, and have my own business and have a consistent income. I cannot imagine, the stress, of just trying to book jobs entails not only children, and their parents but for you as an adult. Bravo my friend, BRAVO!

[@vickygonzalez2205]

Your honesty and transparency is refreshing!

[@Nobody123]

I’ve been acting for two years (began at 24, now I’m 26), and i’ve always seen the audition process as nothing but fun, but that’s also because I’ve always taken acting as something fun and that is because I had a normal childhood were acting was my extracurricular. It was always something I did for fun. I wanted to do acting full-time professionally at 17, but my mother didn’t let me because of everything you’ve talked about on this podcast, Allison. She thought I was throwing my life away, and while she was well intentioned, it damaged me and I felt like she wasn’t accepting or embracing the true me or my dreams, but what this rejection of my career/then true self did allow me to do was to focus on my academics, graduate from an early college high school with my associates degree two weeks before my high school diploma, and graduate from a university 1 semester earlier than everyone else my age, with a degree in psychology, so that I could have something else to fall back on and to have something else that I love doing that I can attach my self-worth, self-esteem and self concept to.

[@gabbyxjpg]

I’m so glad Alyson is the one to speak out about this. I used to look up to her so much when I was younger

[@nicoleclavel3876]

Me too❤❤

[@abrielle13]

It's more than just the data issue with Better Help. There's a few videos on KZbin about it but I'm glad you took the time to look into some things. That says a lot because most people wouldn't have taken the time.

[@nuloo]

Agreed. I'm so glad you took the time, and I wish there was acknowledgment of the many other issues with Better Help's ethicality and efficacy...

[@abrielle13]

​@@nulooIn her defense, the data issue was super public and the other stuff is much harder to find and of course Better Help isn't going to talk about it. I doubt Aly is watching KZbin essays and deep dives like most of us do.

[@TheSwauzz]

So you also boycott any and every other problematic company, right?

[@abrielle13]

@TheSwauzz I didn't say anything about boycotting, lol. People with platforms should be more mindful of who they get sponsored by. Just because a lot of companies are problematic doesn't mean it should just be ignored. It's not about boycotting. It's just about being more informed about what you actively endorse when you have a large following. There's always something worse, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't put effort in to do a little better. And, like I said, she did put some effort in to look into a surface level issue, and I appreciate that. I'm not supporting the sponsor, but I'm also not "canceling" her over it.

[@bLYSfullyhere]

As a theatre kid, it was always so discouraging not getting the role you wanted and not allowed to the room to grow. I really had to force myself to my director to get her attention. Reflecting now, it is insane how much stock I put into it all and I wish I could go back and change it. However, without that experience, I would not be who I am today. Currently, I am helping out at my high school theatre and that has given me the chance to reflect a lot. I am still learning and reflecting everyday. As an adult, participating in theatre, it has been somewhat healing. I, personally, enjoy the arts, and I hope to give kids a safe place if they need it.

[@rachelsmithrafiki2392]

I feel so bad for that little kid that experienced that!! This is definitely making me think about child actors mental health more. Also, the statistics of becoming famous are insane!! Thanks so much Alyson for this informative series.

[@Oxyte]

The first few minutes of this episode (before even watching the main event!) are why you’re ruler of this universe.

[@Oxyte]

Now I’ve watched the rest of this episode (and the others also) - I’m learning a lot from you! I hope others are too. Living in the UK, and coming from a lower working class background, the insight into this world is entirely new to me. I’ve watched movies, streaming services, of course I have - but knowing what y’all have to put yourself through to get there? It puts a different spin on things for sure. A question to you (if you’ve time, of course!) - if you did find somehow now yourself on an offer list, and didn’t have to go through the furore of auditioning 20 times, do you think you’d take the role?

[@Bianca_Toeps]

Great episode! I used to do some low-level modeling and extra-ing, but I've worked with a lot of models in my later career as a photographer. And yes, it's much better to create your own narrative than to work on someone else's vision... Even though as a photographer you sometimes also have to just follow the client's vision, especially when your money is tight and you just have to take any job. What I remember from modeling and from the other models is the amount of weird criticism you get that makes you kinda disembody, because what can you do about "did you know your eyes are slightly uneven?" or "wow your hair gets really sweaty" (in wool dresses on a 35 celcius day with no aircon)... 🤷🏻‍♀️ When I was a photographer, I sometimes shot children's magazines, and oh my, I saw some parents... Bribing their kids with toys or the promise of McDonalds... Usually those kids were the worst, because you could tell they weren't having fun, or they were too rehearsed. (The best thing for me was just to put a kid on set, let them play, and they'd barely know we were doing a shoot - this was mostly kids from friends.) I understand it can come across as sus to send the parents away from the set, but sometimes you really want those over-directing ("suck in your tummy!") moms out of the room. Sometimes I still feel bad for cooperating with these practices...

[@Castkett4ever]

I cannot speak about acting shaping me, but I know that intense bullying has made me one strong people-pleaser. I grew up trying to do everything to please my bullies so they would leave me alone. I'm now 25 and I still struggle to say no, although I am improving

[@noahg5419]

Hi, Alyson! I’m 2 minutes into the video and I’m just so incredibly proud you took the initiative to talk about that certain brand. It really really really bothers me when I see others advertise it, especially when they call it “therapy”

[@paulbaker5256]

Fascinating. Your comment on ‘de-roleing’ really struck a chord with me. As a neurodiverse person, I have to “mask” my condition to fit in to my corporate workplace all day. I’ve become pretty good at it over the years, though it is extremely tiring. I find the commute home so important for me to reconnect with who I really am, which is a husband, historian, painter and martial artist. Also I had no idea about the tangled web that aspiring pro actors have to navigate just to land an audition, which makes me realise that my decision not to pursue acting beyond university was wise for me. I loved it, but more for the social/escapism/personal development side of things. I salute you for trying, I admire the success you have had in this field, and thank you for giving a unique insider’s perspective in such an eloquent, forthright and courageous manner. Best wishes from 🇬🇧.

[@BrandNewBamboo]

200 auditions sounds insane😭

[@tallisen8686]

it's crazy watching this as a current acting student at nyu... i've always been aware of how difficult it is but hearing it spoken abt in such a raw way by someone who was involved in the industry for so long is very eye opening

[@PamelaEnglish-ew8nf]

I played Squeaky Fromme in college. I had my hair up for the role. When I put my hair down at the end that was my deroling.

[@tomboy2980]

This was SUCH an interesting episode for me, because I'm currently in drama school studying musical theatre, and even though I've been performing in front of local audiences for over a decade, I'm only just starting to get a taste of the auditioning world as someone who just entered their adulthood and is still building a foundation for any kind of career. I found myself mentally cataloging your "insider info" on auditioning before I thought about the human toll of the routine, which I think is telling of what the entertainment industry demands of its performers. I also replay auditions over and over in my mind, and it's _extremely_ rare I ever walk out of them happy with my performance. I also hyper-catatrophize the consequences of my missteps, and am only just learning from my instructors how to combat that. It makes you constantly wonder if it's all worth it. I also want to add that the audition-to-audition lifestyle is supremely difficult if you have any issues with executive function, especially if you don't have an agent to take on some of the burden. Seeking out jobs from multiple different sources, keeping a orderly calender to reference your availability, memorizing a bunch of different material at breakneck pace, commuting, punctuality, replying to emails, making self-tapes, maintaining professional contacts, etc etc etc. As someone with ADHD, the struggle is real. If I didn't love performing as much as I do, I'd never subject myself to it.

[@Catbug11]

I didn’t watch the last episode because it was sponsored by BetterHelp. I’m glad you had a truly good experience, but as a whole I think their company is bad and only takes advantage of those in mental/emotional crisis. Thank you for addressing them and being so open in all your episodes. Nothing in this series is easy for anyone to talk about or possibly even easy to think about.

[@Celladebella]

Dear Alyson, Thank you so much for all your labor and open heart to share all you have been through as a child star. As a child, I was parentified due to a severely mentally ill parent and I can relate my own way to many of the themes you are sharing. It's so hard to process all of it but I've found revisiting and allowing those feelings to be really healing. Sending much care your way. Also, I honestly feel like if you were someone I met randomly in the world we would be friends. I am sure you get that all the time even your history of fame. I just saw that as I felt glimpses of you in these videos.

[@MsBumblebee96]

As an aspiring scientist I would love for you to cite the studies you are referring in your Podcast 😊 I also think that in the time of fake news and misinformation it is important to let your viewers see which studies you refer to and be able to check them out 😊

[@frankievalentine6112]

Give it a rest.

[@morganadvantures]

During college I was in a BFA Acting program, and my mom passed away my sophomore year. It was so much trauma and heightened emotion to process on its own, then add onto that I’m being asked to take on the trauma and emotions of various fictional characters too… it was all too much and I wound up unwell- relying on substances, developing disordered eating, and ultimately quitting the acting world all together. Deroling is so huge and I wish I knew more about it during that time. Maybe I still could’ve pursued my dream in a more healthy way.

[@lilluvsrocks2532]

hi again, thanks for addressing the BetterHelp sponsorship. Needing to have sponsorships is absolutely understandable. I don't think your message has been clouded. If anything, it is refreshing to hear a creator take feedback seriously, and I am glad to learn more about BetterHelp's response to what happened as well. I hope the reactionary comments don't get you down!

[@danayaseen647]

You as a content creator now, can see how difficult it is to keep something alive. This is not easy to do at the level of this podcast. To think about what creating shows, movies, the “Hollywood machine” means to scale the issues you are facing to a gigantic level to many different humans, at many different psychological levels, needs problems. My point is, the issue with the sponsorship and the content of your podcast would be a great topic to discuss. Do you only get sponsored form perfectly good sources? What if there aren’t enough to sponsor? Do you stop participating in a machine that inherently has problems? Do you accept that whatever one does includes friction, thus heat, thus there will always be problems and so one just compromises? I have all the respect for you sharing your experience and it’s been very informative and eye opening. The second this becomes a job, the situation changes. And if we want to analyse something as deeply and thoughtfully as you do, taking this into account is important. Because kids have drama class at school. The problem with child actors is the change from hobby/ self expression to job. Which is a situation you are facing now when considering sponsorship.

[@peterfent]

It's fascinating for me as an emerging writer/producer with a couple projects under my belt to hear your take on the audition process as a former actor who I'd identify as an outsider as having "made it". The thing I'm realizing as I'm hearing your story in parts is that "the rot" extends to every level of the entertainment industry. These problems actors face happen at every single level of this industry, no matter how big the budgets are or whose names are attached. I'm not sure what the answer is myself (hence why I'm processing this out loud on text in a KZbin comment) but it's becoming more and more apparent to me that producers have to care and be the change we need to see. I'm already taking lessons from your story to apply on my small-time indie sets, so thank you, Alyson, for sharing your story here. (I know I'm a bit late to the party on this, but I so appreciate this resource!)

[@madelinebrennan7603]

What's remarkable to me is that that mom of the 2 year old "didn't know what to do"...that's how powerful a drug fame is. We're willing to continue to allow our children to be traumatized because a movie needs them to be for their shoot. It's insane.

[@joycewrites]

In the example you're referencing, the mother had likely already signed a contract and could have faced legal and/or financial consequences if she pulled her child from the set. I'm not defending her one way or the other, just pointing out that removing her child from the situation may not have been so straightforward.

[@madelinebrennan7603]

@@joycewrites yes, that occurred to me actually. but i suspect she (like many of us) were so enchanted by the Hollywood machine that she didn't look closely enough at the contract, not realizing the sharks she was dealing with. Still, a toddler needs to be protected at...all...costs in my opinion because if a parent doesn't protect a child on a Hollywood set, who will??

[@joycewrites]

@@madelinebrennan7603 I agree that the child's mother has a level of responsibility. I also think that in situations like this, it's easier to focus on individuals, which lets cruel and exploitative systems escape scrutiny. More than one thing can be true at the same time. The mother should have protected her child. And also, she was likely cornered into a legally and financially precarious spot by studio execs who leveraged their power so they could keep making the movie (and of course, money).

[@madelinebrennan7603]

@@joycewrites I completely agree. Well said.

[@HaleyMary]

That sounds so sad and terrifying for the kid who booked a horror film to be subjected to horror. You'd think the crew would try to make the kid as comfortable as possible on set, like the actor playing the killer should've tried to interact and be nice to the kid and play with him or something so the kid wouldn't be so terrified.

[@SusannahMurphine98]

I know that my experience only doing theatre in college is VERY different to yours, but what you said about typecasting really hit home for me. I am a woman on the heavier side, so I was easily spotted into the role of mother, caregiver, and supporter. Very rarely did I get to step out of that, and never with one of the professors who directed shows. I had gone through my four years as a Theatre minor, having been told that majors and minors, especially those who were upperclassmen, basically got primary consideration. Cut to my senior year, when the show was A Doll’s House. Two of the roles had been precast (a first for the program, but not surprising), but there was another meaty dramatic role that I’d been hopeful for. I had been growing out my hair, so I wouldn’t have had to wear a wig for the period appropriate hairstyles I had been told we’d be going for. I’d been working, both on-and offstage, for four whole years. I was offered the role of the nanny, while a student with the same major and minor as me, the only other differences being that she was younger and thinner, got the role I’d been hoping for. When I talked to the director about dropping out of the show because of a whole other issue during rehearsals, I also brought that up, and he said that he just didn’t see me as that role, didn’t think I was that role’s material. I still, to this day, have issues thinking about doing community theatre at least in part because I don’t want to be typecast as the mother again.

[@chasing_meganchase]

Alyson, I wanted to thank you for this series. I watched your first few episodes through the lens of someone aspiring to break into the industry as an actor, and your honesty and enlightenment have given me a lot to think about. I did not grow up in entertainment, but I have struggled with a lot of childhood trauma and have been impacted mentally in some of the ways you address in your videos. I have decided it's not in my best interest to pursue acting out of concern for my own safety, and that decision would have been a lot more difficult (or perhaps impossible) had you not created this series. I cannot thank you enough for your vulnerability and for sharing about your experiences. They are already making a difference...They may have even saved me. Lots of love and encouragement to you. You are doing great things

[@Dycehart]

Because of this series I've become aware of every time a show or movie uses a baby or a toddler.

[@Demi4216]

I just needed to say thank you for being your authentic self. This is how I wish people would work to communicate. To realize and own their imperfections, and see the power in that. I. See. You. Thank you for doing the work and you’re an amazing person. I know I don’t actually know you, so idk how much that means. But I hope it gives you a small piece of what you’ve given me. 💚💚

[@theriveroftruth]

i’m glad you addressed the betterhelp stuff and i hope that you don’t have any more contractual obligations to fulfill with them and haven’t renewed any sponsorship contract with them bc it’s kinda gross to think that they could just suddenly be doing any better since the recent settlement 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@ksniderdesign]

this episode was my favorite yet. thank you for your sacrifice in unearthing all of this for us. I was in shows in high school, just for fun, and I still, 10 years later, have nightmares that I’m onstage with the lights up, and I completely forget my lines in front of 1000 people. So to magnify that over years, up the stakes 100x, with real money and your reputation on the line… I think the saddest part of all of this is that doing what you love and are good at is supposed to mostly bring you joy, with maybe a bit of misery and hard work. Not the other way around. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.

[@snazzysuze]

As someone who loves horror movies, I have always assumed that the children acting in them receive extra support and attention. Hearing the story about the terrified child actor makes me so sad.

[@somebodythatiusetoknow2027]

This is interesting with how the background of auditions can be so extreme on a child’s mind

[@crystalrquintero]

Thank you! BetterHelp led me to a covert conversion therapist. And GRACE TO YOU. Your sincerity shines through. Your work is so meaningful.

[@charlieorr2875]

this is the first one i’ve commented on watching the series, but as someone going to school for musical theater and planning on making theater my career, this gave me a lot to think about. of course the theater industry and the film/tv industry are distinct, but they share so much when it comes to auditions. i know the buildup, the comedown, the million auditions and callbacks and ups and downs, but it’s still exciting. the one thing that gets me here is- am i ready to be in this space? as a young adult in therapy, am i even ready for the workload and pressure of being in fast paced productions? what are my goals for theater? lots to think about. lots of questions i haven’t thought about much before. this series means so much to me and this has been the most thought provoking so far.

[@isabelirishdance]

Your transparency and grace in addressing the sponsorship topic was thoughtful, mature, and loving. I am continually impressed and inspired by Alyson’s elegance.

[@eminenceautumn]

Yikes. The auditioning process sounds so stressful! I get it now, how some actors have said if you don’t want to be an actor with all of your heart then do something else.

[@Gjigfvniyf]

I never doubted you had good intentions with the better help ad, I’m so happy you addressed it. I really hope you get more varied sponsees in the future, you deserve it

[@teacupolous]

This podcast series should be called “Disabuse,” as Alyson weekly informs me through my deep ignorance about this complicated process. I love the emotional intelligence.

[@mostfrozenburrito]

I didn’t really realize that my own hyper awareness of people’s wants/needs and reading a room and people immediately were a people pleasing tendency. That makes a LOT of sense now. I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently as I’ve been going through my own journey of healing. I used to push aside my needs so much but now I don’t want to. I just want to be happy with the people I love and I just want to be myself. Anyways. I love these episodes. It’s so enlightening. I always knew it was a messed up industry but never to this depth.

[@sydnigrauberger5984]

You are the epitome of a balanced, rational, flawed, and compassionate work-in-progress and your approach on all your platforms encourages everyone else, similarly imperfect but willing to grow individuals, to do the same with dignity, self-love, and much respect to yourself and the many viewpoints of others. Thank you for your walk and your example! 🌹

[@amethystdream8251]

Thank you for sharing Alyson. So for those of us who need to be artists to feel like life is worth living, and for whom other types of work have just not been working out - what are we going to do? I understand that this specific video is about acting, but really this applies to all types of art, especially the performing arts. It's a major structural issue and has been involving a broken idea of what authority means, and what has value to be profitable. After what I experienced with people when I was in LA, I'm not buying it that there's nothing we can do about this on our end.

[@chrisbrady2371]

Alyson, words can’t explain how much you’re helping people. You’re stories are incredible transparent and relatable. I speak for many when I say how thankful I am that you’re enlightening us with this project!