Stage Parents, Toxic Socialization, and Poor Life Skills | Dear Hollywood Episode 10

Stereotyped as living vicariously through their children, stage parents are demanding and competitive, prizing their child as the best talent in the industry. When does a healthy parent-child relationship become harmful and controlling? Whose dream is it to pursue Hollywood if the child can hardly write their name yet? What happens to the parent after the child star becomes an independent adult? Alyson presents fifteen questions every parent should ask before getting into the industry.
As an independent podcast, your support means a lot. Subscribe and follow @alysonstoner to join the conversation. New episodes every Friday.
50% off Movement Genius for 250+ classes and tools to care for your mind, body and emotions:
bit.ly/DearHollywood50
Follow Alyson Stoner:
Instagram: / alysonstoner
Facebook: / alysonstoner
TikTok: / alysonstoner
Video filmed and edited by: Crispy Chicken / crispychickenco
Dear Hollywood on Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/3XhCWlR...
Dear Hollywood on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
Business Inquires: [e-mail]
About Alyson Stoner:
Alyson Stoner is a multi-hyphenate known for their on-screen acting work in franchises such as Step Up and Camp Rock to dancing with the likes of Missy Elliot and Eminem and now their original digital content across all her platforms. Alyson is also the founder of Movement Genius, a digital wellness platform that provides live and on-demand classes to help you improve your mental, emotional and physical well-being.

[@armerls]

I’m sorry for what happened with the original producers of this podcast, but I’m so glad you’re putting this forward independently. That feels so full circle

[@Gfp49]

This is really eye-opening, thank you! Also, you have made me be less critical of 30 year old "high schoolers" in movies, because now I'm glad children aren't actually performing the roles

[@iwasntreadyforitall]

It's bizarre that child actors portray experiences they've never had (high school, prom, dating, etc.) and then regular kids judge themselves against these made-up standards shown on screen 🤦‍♀

[@katiegarcia8255]

As a licensed therapist, I have watched this with profound interest. It has been very sobering and thought provoking. I have found myself asking the question after every episode, “Could this be done in a healthy way?” Your questions are a great start for any family to assess before taking this leap. I thought you made a great point about most parents having good intentions starting out…but the machine is strong and things can change. Money and fame are so intoxicating. And I say that with deep compassion and empathy for those who get swept up by it. Blessings to you as you are charting your own path. And might I suggest an Aloe Vera plant as your first plant. Both healing AND low maintenance :)

[@taylorlodge5937]

I am an academic of celebrity studies and I have so many positive things to say about this podcast and series. It gives so much insight on the Hollywood industry and it's functions. I'm just appreciative that Alyson is sharing their perspective with us. Thank you ❤️

[@ijustwanttosay9369]

I’m a parent with a very gregarious little one. We live in Burbank, close to Walt Disney studios, and I do get nervous about her being approached and if she would want to do it. This gives me such a great perspective and arms me even more if that should happen. I have to say, after all this, if she does want to act, it’s community and school theater until she’s 18! Thank you for pulling back the curtain and providing your insightful and graceful perspective on all of this. So well done and so necessary. ❤

[@rvawildcardwolf2843]

I'm eager to hear what someone with Alyson's experiences has to say about Kid Influencers. Hopefully she'll also cover family vloggers. Your family life being a series of "pranks" and "challenges" sounds like a great way to develop serious trust issues, not to mention how they're unprotected by a lot of the safeguards for "professional" child performers.

[@danielledye97]

I’m a classical musician and since watching this series, I have started to see some patterns in my own industry… even some in my region. It makes me grateful my parents didn’t push me to be a violin prodigy should we have had the means. I joke often when I see the 4 year olds who play violin with professional orchestras that “they play better than me, but at least I had a childhood” and honestly, I think it’s become more true. Thank you for this series!

[@vvay1]

Hi Alyson, I used to be a child actress for 10 years. I stopped acting at the age of 17. I quit by my own will, cause I had a massive burnout by living and working in a studio for years. I could never fully understand my experience and now as an adult, I realize that what I went through wasn't normal for a child. Your videos help me face that period in my life and understand better why I act and behave a certain way and why I've become a maximalist, workaholic. Thank you!

[@wallybirb]

God, this series has me unlocking memories from when I was in a professional choir as a kid and only got my mom to agree to let me quit when I got a chronic illness.

[@12345cisumevoli]

As a human with empathy, this podcast can be difficult to listen to sometimes; as a social worker and sociology nerd, I learn so much listening every week. Hearing people’s personal experiences is so helpful for the work I do. I wish no one ever had to go through any of this, but it’s so important for the world to know that it’s happening so we can work toward justice. Thank you so much for sharing all of this, Alyson

[@AB-qt6uw]

My mom wanted me to be a baby model but when I didn’t book anything she gave up, and I’m SO GRATEFUL for that now. Thank you for sharing your knowledge so that people know what young talent can mean.

[@MeTalkPrettyOneDay]

Reiterating a point Alyson made because it's so useful for people with childhood trauma.

[@ladysaber3464]

I think we as the public understand all of the components individually: parents like to live vicariously through their children, a lack of stability can affect how a child develops, stress and fatigue can wreck person's health, unhealthy boundaries lead to unhealthy relationships that can turn abusive, but seeing everything, everywhere, all at once for a young person in the entertainment industry is very eye opening as to just how much they go through when their bodies are still growing and their maturity is still low. Thank you for organizing this information and putting is so concisely.

[@cladlemaker1263]

My husband is a musician and was (still is) a high performing person. This helps me better understand him and why he behaves the way he does in certain situations. It also sheds a new light on the familial dysfunction he experienced as a kid. Thank you!

[@amymariko]

I can never look at child actors the same way anymore. This podcast is so important! I hope many listen to all of the episodes and that there are actual changes in the industry or at least huge warnings for everyone interested in it! Thank you for sharing everything that you have in such a thoughtful and measured way.

[@somebodythatiusetoknow2027]

Yeah it’s even scarier now that social media has child influencers

[@vortexofweird]

I don't have any kids and don't really plan on having them but those questions were still very difficult hypotheticals to think about!

[@pearluniverse8129]

I don’t have any experience with Hollywood or child acting, but I keep watching this podcast because I feel your mission so deeply. I’m involved in a lot of band adjacent activities, and while they’ve all brought me the best parts of my life, they’ve brought the worst as well. I do what I can to use my bad experiences to steer participants younger than me to a better path, to hopefully have them avoid any of the more painful experiences I’ve had. I have so much respect for you using your platform to do the same for an industry we all hear so much about, but rarely talk about in a meaningful and productive way.

[@jacquelynchin5513]

My siblings and I occasionally did child modeling/acting gigs and I recently graduated with a degree in filmmaking. I’m so glad my parents kept our gigs to a minimum and didn’t train us. We probably only did up to 2-4 gigs between the ages of 5-9 and as a filmmaker I now realize that my siblings and I were the “difficult” kids the industry talks about. We hated being talked down to and would talk back when being asked to act younger than we were. Each gig was an exciting adventure and now they’re fun fact stories to tell people as an adult. We remained really involved in other activities and I’m happy with how my parents approached child performers over a decade later. It didn’t define my childhood or change how I grew up, but they’re fun experiences to look back on