Overcoming Negative Thought Patterns to Find Joy

[@harmenbreedeveld8026]

I recognize much in this video. I was raised in a household where most emotions were suppressed, and joy was surely among them. I can remember so little laughter, giddiness or joyous foolishness. But I do remember the anger in the house, the feelings of hurt and of being alone. As an adult, I struggled greatly with the shockwaves from my youth. Depression, anxiety, not knowing myself, desperately seeking for joy, things, something. Eventually I crashed, and I began a long way with ups and downs. I tried to choose for and listen to myself. I went to therapy, lots of therapy ... and I worked damn hard at it. I chose anti-anxiety medication and I got love and support from friends. Slowly, I begin to blossom. I do now often find myself genuinely loving the day. The Sun that shines brilliantly. The trees that are so green or now (in the fall) so golden. A quiet street, an adventure in a town nearby. A walk along a beautiful river or a piece of cheese from a farm that I discover. And I begin to meet new people and new ways of life. I volunteer at movie festivals. I dream more often about the years ahead. I dare more. I love more. I often feel anxious. Unsure. Darker thoughts may seep in. But I am no longer so afraid of them. I can love them for they are a part of my story. I can listen to them for what they tell me that I need, like a good night's sleep or a day of rest or a hug from myself or a talk with a friend. And as I can welcome these thoughts without being overtaken by them, so I can say them goodbye as they recede. It is a work in progress. But it is also a work that is progressing. A warm hug and ❤ to all who recognize themselves in some ways in my story. I love you.

[@timukliii]

Hey there! Thank you for sharing your story! I can absolutely relate as I have grown up in a similar household. I have always been glad for the fact that even though I have had a rough childhood I turned out “just fine”. I even remember telling my good friend that “I don’t have any traumas”. Then a psychedelic experience woke me up to my own internal reality and I realized how broken I have become without ever acknowledging it. Since then I have been learning to be honest with myself which lead me to experiencing shockwave after shockwave, thus ending up where I am now. I am going through the crashing period right now, which is more difficult than anything I have ever lived through, but this is the first time in my life I can believe that there is hope for me to live a helathy, honest, authentic and fulfilling life somewhere down the line. Theraphy and my friends give me the strength to keep going. All the best to You!

[@Staoicism]

Thank you for sharing this-your journey is a powerful testament to resilience and growth. Embracing both light and shadow within ourselves takes a quiet kind of courage, one that allows joy to feel a bit more natural each time. It sounds like you’re finding ways to reconnect with simple moments that bring you peace. How do you approach these moments of joy, especially when life feels overwhelming?

[@kristinagroostina]

oh i cried reading your comment. same story! thank you for being here, i'll try my best too

[@garyg.3945]

My journey parallels your own. You expressed yourself beautifully. Eventually the "shockwaves" dissipate and joy is increasingly our natural state of awareness. Love to you.

[@JustAnotherGamerUS]

i'm glad i didn't keep scrolling and read your comment til the end. thank you, i love you too❤

[@matambale]

The timing on this one is excellent.

[@Dostoevsky_866]

Serendipity

[@shoszannah]

Yes...

[@chiquita683]

This is what the MAGA movement is. Beautiful that so many can now relate. Nothing can stop this country when we are united

[@darkhelmetsplane]

@@chiquita683 The joy I feel this morning is a beautiful thing. Today is a great day!

[@kleckerklotz9620]

I thought exactly the same. I wish it could cheer me up.

[@SnorEnMat]

10 days ago, I decided I wanted to be less depressed and anxious, and more happy. To focus less of what I don't have, what doesn't go well and what bad things can happen in the future. And focus more on things that do go well, what I do have, what I can be thankful for, proud off and happy with, and that things can go right in the future. So far, it worked: I'm more happy and satisfied with my life and myself and less anxious. Nothing changed in my life and the world, but only the way I look at it. And that was already very helpful. Of course not all days are good, but that's also fine :)

[@fl6298]

This may not mean much to you, but I'm really glad you posted this comment cause it showed me that someone else went through the exact same thing at the same time. Which is relieving because it proves to me that I'm not alone in this. I found it insanely difficult to understand the concept at first. "Just looking differently at life" and "Taking action when possible instead of worrying" sounded too easy. I realised it was actually just my anxiety trying it's hardest to keep me where I was at. I put a lot of work and effort into not focusing on it. Consciously. And yes it was difficult and took a lot of energy, but heck it was also a whole lot easier than I thought it would be. I feel happier. Genuinely happier. And the people around me seem more relaxed and happier too. I have a hard time not questioning whether I deserve this happiness, but that is a process. One I am willing to take. Where this ties back to your comment is: I'm very proud of both of us for having taken this step. I wish you all the strength you need :]

[@marko97fkv]

I've just had one of the most difficult weeks, with today being even worse than usual. Thank you for uploading this just in time 💝

[@Morale_Booster]

You're not alone babe 💗

[@Usef1371]

Keep your head up man!

[@_some_guy]

A game has enemies only when you’re on the right path

[@cocktailtower]

Sending you hugs❤

[@Leo-mr1qz]

My mother was an alcoholic. At exactly 5 pm every.single.night. she would start to drink. She would drink until she passed out on the couch. Usually, I had to take the wine glass out of her hand, cover her up, & let her sleep in her own miserable way. She'd pop up at 6 am. and run and teach first graders. This went on all of my formative years. Now, I have my own children. Both my husband and I abstain from mind alternating substances. I still have a tendency to isolate. I have to make a conscious effort to not give in to the negative feedback loop that runs in my head. My daughters have brought me back to life, in a sense that they show me every day that we all need each other through the good and the bad. Without them, I would've never seen the light. 😇❤

[@JayantKumarVEVO]

Hi. Don’t treat your Mom as such. She must have had reasons to do such a thing, there must be so many conflicts inside her. Bad marriage, poor financial situation or something else. Never Judge your Mom, she did raise you up. She could have just had ignored you or let you go and destroy her life, but she didn’t do that. Be grateful for her and get her some help if you are able.

[@SBaker-zj9ug]

Thank you for sharing such a difficult story. It's wonderful that you have been able to find some happiness with your daughters and the life you have built yourself after going through so much in your formative years. It's incredibly brave and inspiring to hear about, and I wish you well. ❤

[@Leo-mr1qz]

@SBaker-zj9ug Thank you❣️

[@Leo-mr1qz]

@@JayantKumarVEVO Spoken like a true addict.

[@terrancekayton007]

This hit the nail on the head. The thing about being joyful is we have to be protective of ourselves as well. Many people are energy leaches and attempt to suck that joy out of us in ways be if unprepared ways that may seem and be okay at first. And people see joy in us and like to try and make us stumble.

[@danny_jarratt]

In a breakthrough moment in therapy - i was reminded, in learning how to care for oneself there becomes a sense of obligation. I know when i sleep right and eat right and have some time to relax, i can be a bit more stable and a bit more happy. But sometimes - life changes and we have to adapt, we dont have time for a morning walk or a meditation or we get a bad nights sleep. I think i am learning that this obligation to self-kindness, while helpful - can sometimes by necessity be inconsistent. Sometimes when our world is on fire, escaping the flames is more important than meditation.

[@davidrobinson8954]

Having this trouble right now as a parent to young children. Almost all the things I need to do to look after my mental health I can’t do. A short meditation or walk is about it.

[@nabieladrian]

I've seen so many of your videos for years, but truly, at last, this one is for me.

[@jaspermelchior8472]

"We won't change this around in a day, or in a little film, but me might derive benifit from every little spur we can get" Love that final message

[@jomorris9856]

Turning on the news this morning in the UK and feeling utter despair about the future of humankind made me feel glad to watch this Alain. Thank you for putting it on.

[@Lupine.]

I've lost a family member and am going through a divorce this year. What broke me is my dog passing away last month. It's given me perspective on how mentally stuck most everyone seems to be. I no longer want to have an Identity and "build Character". It's been a form of self-punishment.

[@justinklenk]

Yes. We, in the wake of multiple soul-wrenching tragedies must "get low" (in the good way), where there is no more unstable pretense of self-structure to continue fighting to hold up - everything must go, except what is most real - our very center. (As Frankl also miraculously discovered.) Now I myself am rebuilding from the ashes, and reconnecting from the ghost void - incredibly slowly and carefully and faithfully - because I've already finally fallen to the center of my own earth. There's no more discussion or posturing - I'm in. Bless you, brother.

[@ddiana90]

Stage 4 cancer survivor and fighter here. What I've learn since my diagnosis, almost 3 years ago is that is better to simply not worry too much. I know what anxiety is, I know what fear of death is but I've realized that if we keep our bodies and mind busy with a personal purpose (I have children) it's like pure energy. I don't know if anyone will get this but I now truly believe in Jesus. I almost believe I am a miracle. I also believe in angels like doctors. Life is beautiful ❤ and more peaceful now

[@amandajephson9964]

De Botton has such a compassion for humanity! ❤

[@sophier1]

I love the message of this video I've interpreted it as: your joy comes from your mental attitudes and beliefs, not your external environment and by consciously choosing to view the world, yourself and the future in a more positive way, you can live a truly happy life ❤

[@schoolneverteach]

Such an important reminder for self-compassion and compassion for others.

[@laladieladada]

What worked for me lately is to just smile. even if i don't feel like it and it feels so fake to do. just smile anyway and that helps to eventually feel better as well. just after 15 or 30 mins even. And sometimes your thoughts are somewhere else and you forget but thats oke. just smile again.

[@heartofdawn2341]

Definitely struggle with leaving the past in the past, especially when I see young people getting to enjoy the youth I never had. Am slowly learning to find joys in the little things like the birds in the trees, or a nice hot coffee on a rainy day, and it definitely does help

[@Staoicism]

Thank you for sharing this journey-it takes courage to find light in small, everyday moments, especially when the past casts a long shadow. Embracing the little joys, like birdsong or a warm drink on a rainy day, is a gentle yet powerful way to reconnect with life. How do you find these moments help shift your focus away from what was and into what is?

[@LaFlame-5]

It's all about our decisions and what we do. Discipline is about making decisions that are aligned with our intentions. Inspiration may get us started, but it's the habit that keeps us going. Habits stay with us even when we don’t have the inspiration. All of it I grabbed from the book Unveiling Your Hidden Potential

[@words007]

Life is suffering. You don't have to suffer though. Ok, I'll live life joyfully. (Random event in life occurs- suddenly your best friend died in a car accident, you found out your girlfriend has cancer, and cheery on top your father suffered a fatal heart attack) Reality is you will never control your life in any way the more knowledge you gather the more severe suffering gets. The truly best answer to all of the suffering is suppression of curiosity of the human brain. We all need an IQ of 80-90 to feel happy. The more IQ we have the less happy we are. You want to bet how happy a banana eating chimpanzee is on a tree compared to you? 😅

[@UskaSermo]

Well, not to rain on your parade, but chimps experience rage, depression, ptsd and the whole gamut just as well. The solution can’t be avoidance and IQ doesn’t equate emotional security. We need to learn to process our emotions and yes life has a ton of things that hurt like hell, so processing will hurt accordingly. It takes time and effort, and that's how it's supposed to be. But processing will let us move on when we get through, let go of the pain when it's not necessary, and accept it when it is.

[@garystroud1629]

Years ago I found a super book called “Spirituality for Sceptics - The Lost Art of Being Happy” and it very much carries the same message as this video. We habitually react to life in ways that convince us it is suffering but we can change our reactions. The difficulty is that this is a lifetimes work and not an easy fix

[@ggandei]

Hey this video is out at the right time for all the sensible Americans.

[@nonenothingnull]

Don't bring that ruinous mess to this

[@fish6911]

Won in a landslide and even won the popular vote 🎉🎉🎉

[@bruhmoment748]

@@nonenothingnull , Trump is objectively an unfit president like Joe Biden. Trump is delusional and has a very bad track record. This is not an opinion, it's a fact. Kamala Harris may or may not be malicious, but she is sensible enough to know that climate change is real and that Asian immigrants don't kidnap and eat dogs. I'm not american. But tbh, this ruined my day. Why would people vote such a person to have control over the entire world? If he uses nukes we die. Only we die, he gets to eat kfc in his bunker. It is we who have to die.

[@ggandei]

@@nonenothingnull We don't have to go into details of the mess or take sides but it is relevant. I have been feeling grim since morning then I watched this video and it reminded me of whats possible

[@doctork1708]

@@nonenothingnullexactly why it was mentioned

[@adithyab9517]

I'm currently on this journey of identifying patterns of sadness and happiness. As a kid, I have always noticed the smaller things in life, like a branch of a tree moving slowly, sun rays passing through different objects etc, now as an adult whenever I notice these smaller things, they automatically make me happy and I have a smile on my face. Life is complex but at the same time it is simple.

[@PaulThronson]

Find your gratitude before you find your bearings

[@CapDrew]

Timing is incredible

[@amazinglyironman]

I avoid wanting or aiming to achieve a particular state of mind (i.e happy or sad), with practice soon I you'll find how transient these emotions are. ❤

[@jdnm797]

This is absolutely sure. But it's not enough to just be aware of it, you have to continually work at it through practicing mindfulness / meditation and/or methods of self examination. This stuff goes so deeply in to our subconscious, it is so subtle and elusive. But it's also extremely rewarding when you identify a limiting/damaging pattern of thought, it makes so much sense.

[@michaelacarr1931]

Absolutely brilliant. Resonates with my recent realisation that I can choose joy/peace even in the darkest times. External events and other people’s behaviour are largely beyond my control but the choice of what I focus upon or reside in inwardly is totally mine. This is utterly empowering for me. Thank you for this excellent and affirming film. 🌈🐞

[@ChrisBigBad]

I will take every spur I can get. Thank you.

[@DLG24]

Joy hides underneath meaningful work.

[@darkhelmetsplane]

Exactly.

[@JLakis]

Sounds like you're suggesting"Arbeit macht frei."

[@davidrobinson8954]

There’s probably not a lot of meaningful work left (as a proportion of total jobs) and even the jobs with direct impact are stressful and underpaid (such as healthcare).

[@bigh012345]

I’ve lived woe-is-me and life’s-unfair. Which are moments we all experience. I realized a few goals were checked off my list and started leaning into gratitude. I am *thankful* for this chance to do something I wanted. It really spun things positively. I still have disappointment but bigger picture am content if not happy I was given certain opportunities.

[@paintboxplayer8810]

PERFECTLY TIMED for the aftermath of a significant political election. Many thanks.

[@17h127]

Thanks. It's nice when a video doesn't apply to me ^_^. My dad worries about everything. My mom fretted herself silly over what other people thought of her. I've always done my own thing, jumped in with both feet, and done my best to enjoy life. If something doesn't bring me joy, I either fix it or fix my attitude.

[@Camaeleontis]

I can't tell if this said a whole lot of nothing or if I'm just being jaded. It genuinely sounds like it's saying, in a convoluted way, "don't be sad, be happy," which... gee, thanks.

[@tgb1410]

agreed, doesn't have any substance or practical suggestions.

[@karthikkj3421]

A lot of their videos are becoming very repetitive and pointless

[@luisquincoces]

I think the message to be taken from this video is that the possibility of happiness is as dependant on our choosing (or learning) to have a positive outlook on people & life, as it is on external circumstances.

[@mpowell7934]

Also I think that the goal of this video might be to sow a seed of hope - that it is possible to be happy even after all those miserable years. That's maybe the first step - to dare to hope. And as Shawshank Redemption teaches us hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things;)

[@lime148]

You could equally frame your current stance as "don't be happy, be sad". If the advice sounds trite, it's because it hasn't truly sunk in; knowing is not the same as understanding. I used to be just as jaded until I earnestly started believing in a more positive way of thinking. The downside is that no one can convince you of this but yourself.

[@noahsutton3787]

It’s a good School of Life when it makes you tear up of even cry

[@shaggybg]

"What if we could relocate our misery to where it belongs - a past we weren't able to choose - and aimed for something different going forward?" -> This is powerful. :)

[@RSanchez111]

Suffering is just part of the process, not the point or the end goal.

[@black09mln09]

Thanks for the video, just hit on the right time. Also, the comment section is on point, hope everyone who reads this decides to take the first step to a happier self!! ❤

[@rakhisarmah121]

Thank you so very much. Keep spreading these lights of hope and positivity ✨🙌🏻

[@wallywestsmentor]

the timing of these actual is good because they always drop right as i’m on my walk after therapy

[@JLakis]

Used to work that way for me, too. Now I get a second dose the next day.

[@bhavna9998]

Thank you for this video. It came at the right time.

[@louisademetrio4408]

We expect little, so that our expectations do not let us down!

[@LoveHopeandFaith]

Thank you. ❤❤❤

[@justsomegirlwithamustache6840]

I had this ideology, I followed it for a while it helped a great deal until I was forced to move to an environment where it has become physically, emotionally and just practically impossible to be happy. When I got this video recommend I thought "wow maybe this might help" but no it just told me what I already knew, and I also know that this doesn't work with my current situation. I have tried it, but when the people around me constantly works to make myself feel like shit no matter how optimistic I am, I will always end up being drained and eyes filled with tears by the end of the day.

[@Bri-xb8ud]

Same

[@hujinja]

I smiled and even chuckled. Thankyou.

[@nathan_gk]

Just when we needed it, thank you School of Life

[@SWATDRUMMUH]

Damn i cried on this! I want to be happy and financially stable with a job or career that i enjoy, but the older i get, the more distant or impossible it feels for me. I dont want to be sad anymore, but i don't know how or where to start

[@thereframist]

And you don’t have to be sad anymore. I hope every day something makes you smile and brings you joy. And that you find your dream job, and happiness.

[@bethra.flowers]

❤❤❤ "What If" indeed!

[@noptimized]

It’s November 6. I don’t need an antidote to suffering, I need an antidote for the insufferable.

[@MrEpiclost]

having a highly anxious mother also makes your life miserable. it seems like every step you take is a mistake and your whole life needs be dictated by her. the feeling of always trying to run away from the control is exhausting

[@caiogirao]

You save so many lives

[@Felipe-53]

Thanks for putting this out for us for free. Your content is really precious and helpful and thought-provoking. I really appreciate it. Also, I purchased a subscription to support this work. God bless!

[@juanzambon]

Enjoy the trivial, simple things. Excelent video!!!

[@danaraya2908]

Perfect timing, as always

[@user-us2xs7mc8j]

If your mother's mildly annoyed when you're suffering but only truly angry when you're laughing - there's every chance she's a narcissist. There are many forms of abuse but that's a tell sign: the need to control your mood.

[@amaliarios78]

Great video! I recently realized that I truly can find ways to overcome my internal sources of unhappiness, so this video is definitely relatable. Love this channel so much!

[@lauraaf.02]

I simply love this channel

[@Daniel_Zalman]

The famous 19th century Russian poet Alexander Pushkin has a line that translates as: "Man was created for joy, just as the bird was created for flight."

[@PepeSlake]

Dude, you're an inspiration. This really makes me want to write more songs that make people question the world and society we live in and whether its "traditions" are actually worth keeping

[@gailaltschwager7377]

Thank you!

[@JonSnowIII]

I needed this. Thank you.

[@ztwilkerson]

I didn’t click on this video. It just started playing as I walked across the room with my phone in my hand. Thank you.

[@Crystal-ho7so]

Thank you💝🤲

[@lauriet7079]

"Joy is a human being's noblest act." - Thomas Aquinas

[@BotlheMolelekwa-ju2se]

That's something very very difficult to achieve. Because it a whole lot of critical thinking skills to differentiate between being naive (being too positive without logic) and pessimistic( being negative without logic) for different cases. And how you learn to adapt the habits in a way that makes you want to do the process and improve the process of doing anything based on results. It can be done but looking how most of humanity don't know how to teach young ones without being affected by things they can't change (which is everyone other than them), the percentage of such things are 3-15%.

[@noelynlopos9413]

Thank you for thiss. Been so anxious lately

[@angelinadcunha2686]

Thankyou ❤

[@isabelledecraene5781]

Watching this video and reading the inspired comments made me happy and gave me a sense of relief 😊 even though I was awake most of the night, the reason I watched this video it made me feel calm and motivated for the day. Felt from my horizontal position though 😅

[@JustAnotherGamerUS]

this video arrived at the right time! thank you, the school of life❤

[@nikhilsrivastava4172]

*Journey of suffering* My God... all my life till now.. 01:25

[@Melodic_Analysis]

Thank you

[@dabo777]

I adore this page

[@irishbiota6793]

That child looking sad at his bedroom door is heartbreaking

[@Morale_Booster]

I love this one and i really needed it right now 🌹

[@MMusanguYT]

This is so beautiful to learn!🥰

[@jasonalbury2487]

Well I certainly needed this.

[@ministerofjoy]

Thank you🎉

[@ARLimitless]

This video was really warm and uplifting 😊

[@RahulSoni-om3yl]

I was looking for the answer and here it is

[@Battleganz]

I have the opposite problem. I'm happy almost every day, but on rare occasions I feel down. I've got it down to less than a day each, though.

[@PranayShrestha89]

Beautiful insight

[@nemanjat1096]

The importance of having a little fun, after long period of being ill

[@martybadboy]

There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so - Shakespeare

[@MagisterialVoyager]

this is much needed. thank you so much for this video.

[@pay_]

good video on the day the world ended

[@richardbicycle5262]

lol

[@sevans606]

The world goes on drama queen

[@ashn9603]

The point of the video clearly going right over your head

[@timbohp]

There are times in our lives that we need to stop ignoring or running from the "negative thoughts" and face the danger head on. Now is that time. Positive thinking and feelings of joy won't get us out of our new fascist administration come next year.

[@duelenigma7732]

I hear you and i think of this as another challenge to keep my love for humanity from drying up.

[@AprilSunshine]

What if we just listen to you talk for hours? ❤

[@RaeKearns]

Yep better than paying a fortune to smooth psychotherapist....

[@airi75089]

super timely. thanks a lot

[@joshsantiago8924]

This channel popped up on my feed a while ago and ever since I’ve watched a video every day allowing myself to recognize my mistakes and allow myself to learn from them. I have felt more free knowing I’m the problem and I’m the solution. Always live life to its fullest and know things happen for a reason. Sometimes your journey requires you to get hurt because at your destination, you will be healed.

[@Ammah786]

Needed to hear this today. I'm battling a minor illness but when I have this viral illness I've noticed I get depressed I thought it was just me, but then I found out that there is a mental health and physical health link I feel rotten when I'm ill but I feel depressed it's noticeably different to when I'm feeling generally sad. something to do with pathogens and cytokine signals in the brain.

[@nias3202]

Thank you! Right now I don't know how to get there. But it sounds like a very good idea.

[@awykus]

The crazy and scary idea of surrendering to love and to others who love us.

[@waterscape4394]

the conclusion of all life of school video is: it's because of how your parents were in your childhood

[@tomellis4750]

Yeah!

[@jesselasalle5104]

I'm unsure this really helps me all that much. My past doesn't bother me all that much (mostly because I can't remember all that much about it), but an ever ongoing present is what stresses me out greatly. I'm finding so little to actually find joy in because of my mental condition sucking everything that joy would be found in it completely out of the situation. Few things give me joy for a split second, and it's nearly impossible to find these days. All the things that are supposed to "help" doesn't. I guess I just hold out until a greater reality is found. :/

[@zachhanks4399]

Okay, the clear box full of…biscuits/cookies? I thought those were dentures. Someone had brought Grandma her Tupperware where she keeps several pairs of teeth. And that the smelly denture odor wafted to her nostrils, and she loved it, the weirdo.

[@smlifthe1st957]

I think this is great but even as a 17 year old Im thinking how can I protect my future children from the same fate?

[@NigelTheMini]

Man can do as he wills, but he cannot will what he wills

[@rob.parsnips]

It’s called edging and it’s worth it

[@moondriedtomato]

This is it ❤

[@viktoriyacuartas6835]

Start reading the Bible and see how your negative thoughts will change and you’ll be fulled with the joy of the Lord. Just test it, you’ll probably read/have read self help books (most of which are based on biblical principles) read where that actually came from

[@GamalAbedelNasser]

Excellent