These MISTAKES Can Lose You Readers

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

MY EDITING SERVICE: www.kierenwestwood.com/editing

[@koltonheath6073]

Another good thing about removing repetition is that it shortens the sentence to not be so wordy. You don't want wordy paragraphs or your reader will not care and there is a chance of losing readers interest. And you do t want that.

[@france1464]

Oh my, this is such a useful tip. I agree also that it’s a first draft problem, but it’s extremely frustrating when you’re so into a story and then when you read aloud what you’ve just written, the whole thing sounds awful. So the awful paragraph ends up bugging you too much that you just end up editing mid-first draft. Story of my life 😭 (any tips on how to avoid this trap?) PS. Would you happen to be on Threads?

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

I fall into that trap all the time too! I don't know if there's a way to stop doing it for good, but I try to think more in terms of 'feeling' than 'accuracy' when I'm reading back what I've written. I try to think 'is this close to the image in my mind? Does it move the story where it needs to go?' rather than 'is this exactly how I want to phrase it?' Though, I often try not to read back if I can help it. You're going to edit it anyway, might as well forge ahead for the time being! I'm not on Threads I'm afraid no. The only social media I have is this channel, I find it too much to keep up with everything!

[@carihislop161]

I've found the Read Allow option (using Parallel's desktop) really helpful in finding those pesky repetitions (and missing words). Editing is a skill - I'm better than I was twenty years ago, but there's always more to learn.

[@alanclaytonrighteousviolen1715]

More great advice. I read Stephen King’s “On Writing” and what I received from that book was basically: “You don’t need a teacher! Just read and write a lot!”But I’ve learned so much from Mr. Westwood in such a short time. You also answered another question I had in the back of my mind about memories and flashback and when that’s OK to do. I was wondering though if you could make video about what you think of dream sequences in a novel. Thanks as always.

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Hi Alan! Thanks so much, really appreciate that. Dream sequences - interesting topic. I've just realised I kind of have one in the book I'm working on, maybe one or too. Thanks for the idea! I'll definitely have a go at that. Not everything becomes a full video, but if I can, I'll make it.

[@dansheppard2965]

I think (hope) there's something in between 3rd limited and 3rd omniscient. I agree about slips, when you throw in the "inside" of an unexpected or minor character, especially just for one phrase or sentence, but I quite like the "wandering third person" when there's a reasonable amount of freedom to shift between, say, two main characters in a love story where the relationship is the real main character. You need to make sure it's signaled somehow and unambiguous, but my biggest worry is that because it's widely seen as a mistake it will annoy readers to see it.

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Thanks, you're totally right, there's definitely value to that, I hadn't really thought of it. That is, as you said, somewhere in the middle between limited and omniscient. As long as there's no confusion, I'm all for pushing the boundaries a bit, how else to we innovate? :)

[@ChancellorMarko]

There's a style of writing 'free indirect speech' ...which is basically head-hopping done on purpose. Third person limited is definitely the preferred POV of most readers now. My last novel is written in 3rd person omniscient and has 4 main characters viewpoints. Not sure what any publisher would make of it though.

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Mine is the same! Who knows indeed, but I really enjoyed writing it.

[@ChancellorMarko]

@@KierenWestwoodWriting Hope you publish it somewhere..

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Very soon ☺️

[@philm9593]

Thanks, Kieren. Great tips. It's good to know I'm not the only one that has to keep on top of this. 😊

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Heck no! I see it all the time my own work. Thankfully, editing is a thing. Imagine if we had to publish first drafts...

[@philm9593]

​@@KierenWestwoodWritingHa, perish the thought.😅

[@bossalina4941]

I’ve noticed I do this a lot. Which makes the flow of the sentence seem boring and like you said repetitive. Currently I’m trying to break this habit in my writing. It’s knowing when to leave them or take them out. Thank you for sharing and the great tips! I really appreciate your videos, they inspire me to continue writing as well as becoming a better writer.

[@RidetoEnglishwithDM]

AWESOME video - thank you! I struggle a bit when editing especially with show vs tell. I know there are moments when we should use one or the other to keep a good pace and all that, but I would love to see your perspective on it and maybe a few examples from Project Ventus? It'd be great. thanks again for all your hard work with this channel. Your content is pure GOLD.

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Great idea! I’ll focus on this for the next one if I can find some examples from the book ☺️ I love a suggestion like this, thank you!

[@bradkrupsaw]

Thank you once again, Kieren. You are my most reliable and accessible go-to for great advice and content. I never miss your videos!

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Thanks so much! That's so great to hear, I appreciate it :)

[@JoeyPaulOnline]

I mostly do first person and always careful and too many I this or that! Great video as usual

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

There really is an art to first person I think! I struggle with it a fair bit.

[@johnnyragadoo2414]

Nice food for thought! The reader needs consistency, but not monotony.

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Exactly, great way to sum it up.

[@accrabroadcastingnetwork8137]

Thank you Sir, well explained

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Thanks for watching! ☺️

[@B.matrix]

I used the technique you mentioned and found some overuse of pronouns. I also found a problem with ‘The’ in my work.

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Everyone has words that pop up more than they need to, it's great to learn to spot them like you've done. Mine is 'just'. It crops up all the time and is almost never actually needed.

[@ItsAPillow_]

This is definitely timely for me. Thank you!

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Thanks for watching! Viewers on the very first day of a video help the most, much appreciated.

[@pauligrossinoz]

Nice! Thank you. 👍

[@Thundering_Orchestra]

Great video explaining overusage of pronouns. Your videos are always very easy to understand and helped me so much writing in class and for just myself. Here's a piece I composed with some of your channels advice. Raindrops RAINDROPS The rain fell, piercing the silence of the night with a symphony of riffles. The sky fell in waves like velveteen, draping the sky in a sparkling twilight. However, something was lurking in the shadows. Something sinister. A deer approached the river, its wary heart beating rapidly. It had suspicions, but its ever-grown thirst had to be quenched. It slowly stepped foot within the shallow shore, it inhaled, and it exhaled he let his worries mix in the flowing breeze. But fear trembled the deer’s spine as he witnessed the creature rising The predator had been awakened from its lair. It realized the presence of the lurking predator, like a mortal man facing a demon from the depths of hell. The deer turned backward and leaped, it tried to flee, its hooves pounding against the damp earth, but it was no match for the crocodile's lightning-fast strike. The deer's eyes widened in terror as it struggled to escape this abominable nightmare of reality. With a swift and merciless motion, the crocodile clamped its powerful jaws around the deer's legs, but it was all in vain. The crocodile sank its teeth, deep into the deer's legs restricting further movement. It sank it down, deep within the waters. As the deer drowned, its cries grew faint. But for a brief moment, the crocodile had released its grip, and the deer felt a heap of relief, But this moment of respite was short-lived, as the crocodile struck again, aiming for the deer's neck. Desperate to escape the clutches of the merciless predator, the deer thrashed and kicked, its hooves flailing in a hopeless attempt to free itself. But the crocodile's grip was unrelenting, its powerful jaws locked in a vice-like hold. With a final, agonizing cry, the deer succumbed to its gruesome fate, its life force slowly ebbing away. The crocodile feasted on the deer's mangled corpse, tearing into its flesh with savage delight. The once serene river now ran red with blood. The deer, now nothing more than a lifeless carcass, let out a final cry of anguish and misery, with its voice echoing through the night.

[@koltonheath6073]

Can you have more than one character, let's say 5 or 6 characters, to focus on in different chapters? If you are writing in the third person but not limited?

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

I think so yeah! My novel has a few different characters that I switch between. In my opinion as long as the switch is clear to readers, it can work just fine.

[@koltonheath6073]

@@KierenWestwoodWriting thanks Kieren for being there to help out future writers

[@memofromessex]

Thanks for that, it is easy to wander between two characters POV in limited third person - However, is it possible to have entire scene from third person perspective for one character, before moving back to the original character? I was thinking about maybe from the criminal to victim back to the victim, but maybe in two different locales?

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

It is easily done for sure. That sounds perfectly fine to me, that's what I've done in my novel. I think it adds a bit of variation for readers.

[@Myfreetherapy]

I'm sorry, I've been a subscriber for months now and your advice is steller but I can't help myself anymore. YOUR VOICE IS SO SEXY!🤩🤩🤩. There I said it. 🤭