Do YOU Make These Common Writing MISTAKES? - Misusing 'As' and Pacing Problems

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

MY EDITING SERVICE: www.kierenwestwood.com/editing

[@aix83]

This is fantastic, just what I needed! Everyone gives high-level writing advice and nobody tells you like this video HOW to make it happen on the page.

[@JasonFuhrman]

Grea tips! The "As" one is something I often see, and probably still do. The second tip is always something I struggle with. I tend to over write, meaning adding too much detail so have to pull it back. It's always tough to know when you want to rush somewhere (exposition) or to slow down to tease things out. I find that writing short stories forces me to make those decisions, especially when I have a hard word count to hit. Novels are where things can get tricky, since there really is no limit. I have to really pay attention in those situations. I always try to remind myself to take more time with the interesting parts, and breeze through the rest. Detail should have purpose.

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Absolutely yeah. This is stuff I pick up in my own work, but not until I've finished the draft and I'm editing it with a bit of hindsight. You're right about novels, in the moment you can't tell how far you should be going because you might not even know how long or short the scene will end up. What you thought was too much might be perfectly in proportion. The real work is often in edting, at least it is for me!

[@HIMMBelljuvo]

The "As" mistake need not be a mistake if you're writing a supernatural character (a Speedster) who _does_ have the ability to perform multiple complex things at the same time or in quick succession

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Of course, in that case it's not a bug, it's a feature!

[@stevensandersauthor]

This is terrific. Small stuff like this makes the pudding sweet.

[@RobertShaverOfAustin]

I like your advice which is why I am now *SUBSCRIBED!* @7:24 you write "... where the getaway car sat idling, the driver revving the engine." The car is either idling or revving. It can't do the same thing at the same time. I would change it to "... where the getaway car sat idling. Seeing them coming, he revved the engine and gunned it as soon as they were in, ignoring the red light as they sped through the intersection." Or something like that.

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Appreciate you being subscribed and thanks for sharing your thoughts. This is really just writing that I put together for the purpose of making the videos to demonstrate the point I'm making, like I said, perfect, it ain't!

[@Riurelia]

I don't really write that often, but when I do, I often use the word "as". Time to go revise :)

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

It's not always bad! Just when it makes things feel too squashed together.

[@alanclaytonrighteousviolen1715]

Great notes thank you. I haven’t forgotten about sending you a chapter. ☺️

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Thanks for watching! Absolutely, I'm ready when you are :)

[@bossalina4941]

Thank you for the tips once again. I realized I’ve been guilty of doing this a few times through my current novel. Luckily, I’m in the editing process and was able catch them since watching this video.

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Me too, quite a few times! Editing is the ideal place to smooth over this type of thing :)

[@NicoleWilbur]

Great tips as always :) I definitely do the latter frequently in first drafts and haven't thought so explicitly about the way to fix it before - awesome examples!!

[@manymusings]

This was great! Thank you 😊

[@kiaratheotaku6257]

This helps so much especially with pacing❤

[@B.matrix]

This was so helpful! I really appreciate this level of detail in writing advice.

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Thank you! I’m really glad it was helpful ☺️

[@B.matrix]

As a follow up, this week I edited a chapter where I made these mistakes and made the changes you suggested. So much better! Thanks again.

[@JoeyPaulOnline]

I was sat here nodding along because one of my editors is big on breaking down any listy movements. Loved seeing how you fix things!

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Good to know it makes sense! ☺️

[@mbernier59]

Hi Kieren - this vid is simply invaluable. Thank you. Mark

[@christerdehlin8866]

Thanks! Definitely something to keep in mind when I start my second draft in a few weeks.

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Absolutely, that's the perfect time to spot this stuff I think.

[@itsFOW]

thank you once again for your tips!

[@RidetoEnglishwithDM]

Awesome video Kieren, thank you for all your wisdom!

[@MOONSUN4Life]

Great video, Kieren, and some excellent tips! I'll keep them in mind and try my best to apply them to my own writing 👍

[@arzabael]

Idk about “Ing” usages anymore. It wasnt something that stuck out before and I thought it was a whatever and it’s fine a billion other published authors. But “the driver revving the engine” vs “as the driver revved the engine”, if its already written in someone else’s book it’s A-ok either way but if it’s up to you, the second one just sounds better.

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

I've seen a few people mention the 'ing' thing. Interesting, I hadn't really thought much about it to be honest.

[@markovichamp]

But used to introduce a single action, "As" is fine, isn't it? E.g., "As the festivities continued, Aart found me and drew me to my feet."

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Absolutely! It's just this very particular scenario where it can cause trouble, the vast majority of the time it's totally fine. I should have made that point in the video really, sorry!

[@AndrewHalliwell]

The second could be slowed simply by adding a little dialogue. "Red light!" "So?" " So? We've just nicked half a million in previous gems! Last thing we want at this stage is getting t-boned by someone going through green! Added to that, don't draw attention! " Ken muttered under his breath. "Fuckin ' idiot"

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Definitely, dialogue would do the job here for sure, good point!

[@jarnhus]

Really great video! It does seem a bit unfair... It sits at a ten minute watchtime, but I just know it will take me at least an hour to unpack all the subtle little tricks used. Thank you so much for making these!

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Hey, thanks for your comment! For future videos, is there anything I can do to make that better/easier for a viewer? Just wondering, so I can make my videos as useful as possible :)

[@jarnhus]

@@KierenWestwoodWriting oh they are very easy to understand and the main points are easily gleaned from the first viewing. Your examples are really just treasure troves, that I want to pick apart and see the effects of the individual words. I seem to remember you made a video on how to place the reader right alongside the character by choosing the right prepositions. More of technique videos in that vein would be great

[@KierenWestwoodWriting]

Fantastic, thank you 😊