These People Were There When Kennedy Was Shot, And Their Stories Are Incredible

Hear the stories of regular people who witnessed world-changing historical events in Witnessing History, a new series from ClickHole. Today’s episode: the JFK assassination.
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[@MrDgroff]

Wow, this really takes me back. That sniper was out to get my hot dogs, and I will never forget JFK for the sacrifice he made.

[@AfferbeckBeats]

His final gift of reciting the nation's capitals was actually giving a presidential name to each to one of your holy hotdogs

[@whydonaldwhat]

Glad to have you and your hot dogs still around

[@POTUSJimmyCarter]

I mean, the man said it himself. "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country's hot dogs." John F. President loved him some hot dogs, and I think it's just so ironic that they were his undoing.

[@MrRobosquad]

I spent the last two years as an instructor while working toward my graduate degree, and I would often cite JFK's death to protect a swarm of hot dogs as an example of dramatic irony. The kids who got it cheered wildly.

[@kick1304]

It was the bodyguard mate

[@jamesrossi8442]

“I thought that idiot died weeks ago.”

[@jasperquartz4612]

Then his brain was the size of a chicken nugget and it knocked over a bucket of sunscreen 😂😑 and THEN they gave him mouth to mouth and it WORKED!

[@zoe8755]

@@jasperquartz4612 lolll xD 😂

[@ChickenNoodleMoop]

THATS MY GRANDPA

[@AnvilPro100]

I lost is at "That bullet was meant for me!" Just imagining why a man carrying 30 hot dogs would think the JFK assassination was aiming for him is hilarious

[@willrocks650]

AnvilPro100 I upvoted you to 69. You’re welcome.

[@King_Dragmire]

Anyone who carries around that many hotdogs probably has some secrets

[@purplecatloverrandompizza]

Just like Oooh shit That was mine 😬

[@williehopscotch]

He's obviously a very powerful man. I mean, do YOU have that many hot dogs?? Didn't think so.

[@janesmith1840]

He brought them from home

[@farhood95]

"I'm back motherfuckers" - spoken like a true leader

[@Shadowdaddy87]

That's gonna be Trump in 2024🤣

[@TinyTurtlesTv]

2:37 John F. President

[@seantheguy1391]

TinyTurtles Tv so you heard it too

[@Hawaiipaul]

Press F to pay respects

[@Zmunk19]

that part killed me

[@DJL3G3ND]

omg I didnt even notice that but when I clicked I laughed HARD

[@fionnanlynch4566]

John Fortnite Kennedy

[@KaguyaH]

"Holy shit, that bullet was meant for me!" Never fails to make me laugh hard

[@nighttray1489]

This ruined my week. How am I supposed to be productive, when all I can think about is that poor man's sunscreen?

[@spartankongcountry6799]

Nighttray Just be happy that the guy with the hot dogs survived.

[@realityloidyuki7904]

Nighttray ikr

[@realityloidyuki7904]

DoctorDank XD

[@davidturrell2482]

Islamic Kong Dong ...you know, he brought them from home.

[@name-cp9zs]

Nighttray I know right

[@memeing_oflife]

“Albany, Annapolis, Atlanta, Augusta, Austin, Baton Rouge, Bismarck, Boise, Boston, Carson City, Charleston, Cheyenne, Columbia, Columbus, Concord, Denver, Des Moines, Dover, Frankfort, Harrisburg, Hartford, Helena, Honolulu, Indianapolis, Jackson, Jefferson City, Juneau, Lansing, Lincoln, Little Rock, Madison, Montgomery, Montpelier, Nashville, Oklahoma City, Olympia, Phoenix, Pierre, Providence, Raleigh, Richmond, Sacramento, Saint Paul, Salem, Salt Lake City, Santa Fe, Springfield, Tallahassee, Topeka, and Trenton” - *John F. President seconds after being fatally shot in the head 1963*

[@BillyCrawshrimp]

Thank you Mr. President

[@jeremytitus9519]

What blows my mind (pun not intended!) is how he retained the presence of mind to list them alphabetically.

[@aarontelander]

*John F President

[@michaeljamessegura2518]

Me who lives in Santa Fe: There I am Gary, There I am!

[@diablojones]

@@jeremytitus9519That’s why he’s so well regarded.

[@ryanskinner6792]

R.I.P John F President

[@Saintnick90]

RIP Sunscreen Bucket.

[@jasperquartz4612]

F

[@TLK9419]

I lost it at that part... almost missed it though

[@daroachdoggjr188]

There is a reality in an alternate universe and version of earth where this documentary is entirely 100% accurate

[@stupickles5436]

Not Politically Correct and in that alternate universe, Clickhole made this same video, but they describe the assassination as it actually happened in real life, but played as a joke. Because in that alternate universe, that's this.

[@daroachdoggjr188]

Livvin Liklarry Exactly

[@ifalone]

jeez that is mind boggling

[@Luis-325]

I would love living in ClickHole's universe. Only for a few days though, I wanna keep my sanity. Although once I'm over there insanity is sanity.

[@kingvince7328]

You know strangely enough, if there is a multiverse, at least some of this probably could have happened 😂

[@TheStolken]

I lost it when the Hot Dog man reacted to the shooting.

[@peytonwarren1936]

TheStolken so did he

[@halyomorpha]

TheStolken he brought those hot dogs from home.

[@maverickREAL]

TheStolken holy shit, that was meant for him

[@Composer_Piggy]

“I’m back mother heckers” got me

[@elogeticethan7790]

I too had suddenly dropped down to the floor and underwhelming sadness over the assassination. I’m honestly still waiting for the follow up story of the hot dog man too.

[@educationalvideos4151]

it's the mandela effect... his head was shouting world capitals in all the updated videos, not state capitals

[@devinthierault]

educationalvideos there were four head I distinctly remember four heads. And when Ruby shot Oswald he grabbed Oswalds crotch and that's why mad that face

[@2011derricks]

@@devinthierault *insert care emoji!!!!*

[@luxas113]

"I brought these hotdogs from home" " Holy shit! That bullet was meant for me!" -proud hotdog man

[@belovedwebpatron9579]

You have topped yourself. Rest in peace John F. President

[@jasperquartz4612]

He didn't. Them Space-Aliens did it!

[@skeksis69]

"That bullet was ment for me" And "I thought that idiot died weeks ago" Kill me every time

[@Postcinct]

The production value on this is great, it's almost like I'm watching a video.

[@chumloaf]

Postcinct we live in a society

[@philcollins4092]

Postcinct we live in a society.

[@MisterDoctorBaconman]

Postcinct we live in a society.

[@lincolnnewell8633]

We live on a society

[@ezip8564]

Postcinct we... live in a society

[@TheSnapback]

I knew my history teacher was lying

[@jasperquartz4612]

The Government requires them to lie.

[@callizto1964]

Once again history books fail us.

[@sadtimesyeehaw3395]

Truly a masterpiece. I had a feeling that my history teachers were lying to me all these years. Rip John F. President

[@verylostdoommarauder]

I really hope that some US history teacher showed this to the class without checking the video first.

[@aliteralsnakewithatophat3247]

Too funny for this world ✊😔

[@samefam3574]

One of the best clickhole videos ever, it teaches kids about US history. Eye opening!

[@davidturrell2482]

Same Fam and you can make hotdogs at home.

[@iii_avxaxqxxx7848]

I hate your pfp so much

[@Joey7Z7Horror]

Mindblowing you mean?

[@blubbb9208]

"Holy shit that bullet was meant for me" I FUCKING DIED LMAO

[@richardfirthucsb]

how did they get the actors to keep a straight face saying this nonsense?

[@housesinmotion6031]

with a lot of takes

[@abowlofsoup6440]

They take a lot of takes, the actors are trained and used to these kind of situations, the actors' family is taken hostage to help them stay serious, etc. They have a lot of tricks to help with keeping a straight face.

[@diablojones]

Botox.

[@chirbychoo]

Nonsense?

[@howdoyoudo5949]

@@chirbychoo I know right, this here is the best history I've ever heard.

[@ColorfulPockets]

Wow. This is the best history show I've ever seen.

[@someshittomakeyouhappy]

You know its fake

[@martinezisaac9818]

It’s a joke, you know that right

[@rivrstyxx1543]

ColorfulPockets HOLY SHIT THAT BULLET WAS MEANT FOR ME!

[@kryptonichd3573]

Hi andrew

[@Askar1]

Hi colorfulpockets

[@plumdropp]

He did NOT bring those hotdogs from home!!! INCREDIBLY FALSE STORY. Disgusting. Who would lie about such a thing? What has America come to...

[@infectioustomfoolery]

I agree! This is so disgusting...

[@pumapants6833]

Amazing to hear what these people experienced. Truly sad yet beautiful.

[@daddybacon9932]

Jaime Vargas m8.

[@leem2155]

60 years since this video was posted, it still holds up! 500 years later and I might watch it again.

[@happsider]

I miss John F. President

[@motorheadhorsepower6395]

happsider So did many of the shooters that day .

[@jasperquartz4612]

Nice

[@SteveSunny]

This is good stuff. Shame that this channel isn't more popular.

[@nizzleprizzle9783]

Steve Sunny right!

[@smurfyday]

I doubt that's true, and I bet they just embed the videos here so they don't have to host the videos.

[@Sul_Opreym]

They have a website Wich is pretty popular

[@jasperquartz4612]

@Steve Sunny Very Funny

[@zippo685]

The hot dog bit is hands down one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my entire life. The visuals, the delivery and timing. Fucking perfection.

[@jettrooper3rd930]

By far Clickhole's best work yet.

[@yungplague7404]

LSD is one helluva drug

[@chrisp_20]

Yung Plague sameeee

[@jasperquartz4612]

R U on Drugs??

[@LordEptar]

Jesus, the sunscreen... I lost it. That's actually just the most gut wrenching and heart breaking thing I've ever heard.

[@ihateroads7926]

“John F President” subtle but gold

[@franciasii2435]

I thought that idiot died weeks ago...

[@skyty0]

Four years later and it's still funny as hell. This video is a goddamn masterpiece.

[@demnidot9279]

Lowkey want to become a history teacher just so I can show all my students this when they're first learning about JFK's assassination. This is a lot more specific than a lot of the documentaries out there!

[@gluon3434]

so I guess harambe really did have it coming

[@G.A.Burns_JoyfulNoiseChoir]

KZbin providing context because literally nobody thought this was a parody lmao

[@oldbirbman]

I got my teacher to play this in class lol

[@DanielReyes-zu8em]

I watched this stoned the other night, and I thought it I was having a bad trip... This freaked me the F out..

[@My600lbStrife]

Wherever that hotdog man is today, I hope he keeps himself safe. Whatever he knows, he knows too much...

[@starvedfrogs1111]

Playing this in my history class

[@coffeebean2]

Plot twist: clickhole are actually interdimensional travelers and interview people about common things in their world.

[@abcdontkillme]

I didn't realize I clicked on a ClickHole video till the neck thing, I was so confused lmfao

[@serbianspaceforce6873]

"I'm back motherfuckers" and then his head immediately exploded" "John F. President"

[@robertsanchez1734]

what if i put this on in history class and my teacher didnt review it before and the whole class watches it

[@jillianjanner997]

I’m watching this in class and I’m trying so hard not to laugh

[@JackMMcMullan]

I absolutely lost it when they said Kennedy got back up and said I’m back motherfuckers and then his head exploded.

[@LiLi-or2gm]

I was in grade school when they announced that JFK's head had been shot into orbit from a Lincoln Continental Ballistic Missile. It was both sad and exhilarating. When I got home, my parents said that if I ate all of my dinner, we could go outside and watch his his head rise in the night sky and pass over us, blinking on and off. It was really neat and I've never forgotten it!

[@beng8594]

I love the specification that those hotdogs were in fact from home.

[@endmite]

i read “kennedy” as kfc and i thought the mascot for kfc was shot and i clicked the video anyway

[@bradenburlison4225]

1:56 had me dead as fuck 😂

[@carthag]

My grandma still has Kennedy's ear in a little box, she takes it out sometimes for Thanksgiving :3

[@gobbygoo]

Truly incredible stories. I'm grateful these individuals decided to share!

[@YostPeter]

The great thing about ClickHole's "clickbait" title is that these stories, by definition, _are_ incredible.

[@MonsterMak]

I’ll never forget that faithful day. Yes JFK died, but he died protecting me and my precious hotdogs.

[@silvercheetah92]

I wish John F President was still Prime Minister of 'Merica

[@jasperquartz4612]

I miss John F. President :'(

[@achillesjohnson7941]

When you watch this for a school project...

[@jasperquartz4612]

Do an Essay on it!

[@matthewcao4993]

2:00 the best part of the entire video

[@katguthrie8891]

What can I say? He shouldn’t have dated Taylor Swift.

[@psl6145]

I fucking lost it when she said Kennedy's brain was the size of a chicken nugget so they couldn't see it.

[@jesusmyman]

As much as I appreciate this, I would really like to hear from the people who witnessed Lincoln's assassination.

[@dumbratbtch953]

i’m dying at the hotdog mannnnnn

[@maxwills713]

I can't believe how serious I took this until they said they re attached his head. This is why I'm failing social studies man I jus re watched it and I realized I didn't pay attention to the neck part 0:44 😑 another reason I'm failing. I need to get my shit together.

[@gdragon42069]

Yeah, get your shit together, max

[@philcollins4092]

max wills agreed. Get your shit together, Max. You're such a failure, man. Do better. GAWD!

[@spoonlord4673]

wait, the neck part didn't throw you off?

[@happymolecule8894]

max wills Fucking max wills, get all of your shit together. All of it

[@pigcake101]

Holy shit the old guy saying john F president is my favorite thing ever

[@generalmullen3895]

Holy shit that bullet was meant 4 me

[@endisnearyall2165]

Is.. Is that Mathew Mcconaughey?

[@jasperquartz4612]

Who??

[@sammymac2546]

Yeah lmao

[@jarltrippin]

It's an actual sin that this video doesn't have at least a million views.

[@audreylafore]

No it's a good thing this video sucks

[@ZombieaidZ]

wtf was colonel sanders on

[@jasperquartz4612]

Wasn't that the guy from The General Car Insurance commercials?

[@RetroVzqz9313]

If you set the comments to new You have all these commenters of the same generation as these witnesses, questioning the validity of these fine people's statements It is sad to see that there are fellow Americans, and even those from other nations, that doubt John F. President's head is in heaven and his wild, nude body is hell The absolute temerity of these types to even dispute the events of this well documented national tragedy! It just shows you the complete state of nadir our once great nation has reached....

[@edjamaz4636]

I love how the two women tell a pretty cohsesive story and the man is just in his own world

[@trash-chan4882]

I lost it after seeing harambe clickhole is amazing I wonder how can they make these qualified videos and pay great actors like this with such a small amout of views

[@Nelso5000]

They're owned by a bigger company called "the onion".

[@nizzleprizzle9783]

パンツ P-chan also their website gets tons of views

[@jasperquartz4612]

Oh, wyrm?

[@mothmansadilf]

"Holy shit that bullet was meant for me"😂

[@DrSpikeSpiegel]

How does the best video on KZbin have so few views?

[@kerbosplat5119]

i love how professional this is

[@dunghoIe]

THIS is what I subscribed for!

[@TheToqueWearer]

AdditionEdition "Im back motherfuckers"

[@johnniemac173]

Imagine living in the alternate universe where all Clickhole videos are completely accurate.

[@SparkHazard]

There's something so weirdly consistent about the insane world ClickHole builds up in its media. I can't really explain it, but there's a strange sort of internal logic to their jokes that just makes them all even funnier once you've watched a few of their videos. I'd write an essay about it, but my arms are full up of these hot dogs I brought from home.

[@dontaskmyname1004]

Brought a tear to my eye, what a beautiful set of stories

[@alix9751]

These are fake

[@daroachdoggjr188]

I just showed this to my History teacher and he was speechless

[@dubclips7266]

This is the best video I've ever watched

[@mikekisner869]

You know, I've been studying the assassination of Kennedy very hard the last few weeks. I take it very seriously. So maybe that explains why I thought this video was a scream. Can't wait to show it to my friends. I needed this.

[@OneOddPerson]

I would love to be one of those people that actually fell for this.

[@Ikxi]

John F President lmao

[@Sgrzanich70]

i thought this was gonna be FUCKING REAL I WAS BAMBOOZLED

[@smilingipad3044]

Kennedy is dead?

[@アネモドライブ]

Yes

[@grizzlyowlbear3538]

Nah bro I am Kennedy from the future

[@dumbratbtch953]

no. he’s a spirit. impossible

[@rarnold4187]

My father was 4 when he saw this happen live. I wonder what he would think if I showed him this

[@KingDecahedron]

Gone but not forgotten - Kennedy's Head - 11/22/1963

[@Overlordough1201]

I was not prepared for the gorilla with the sign

[@tomstark2354]

I never knew this, I'm gonna use it for my college presentation on the assassination of JFK, thank you for uploading ❤👍🏻

[@NicaeaCreed]

My dumbass thought this was real for the first minute

[@bigh213]

This is comedy gold, found you on ifunny. Auto sub btw...

[@slueepy1232]

You know why you're watching this video right now

[@whippedalcremie7718]

make more like these please. very heartwarming but sad

[@shamusbob7969]

I wonder how much of this was improvised, the Hotdog lady was fucking comedy gold.

[@aarn321]

I thought this was another regular JFK vid on youtube as I've been obsessively studying the JFK assassination for a few weeks now. This caught me off guard. Tysm, I needed the laugh, because in all seriousness, this case is depressing and dark AF.

[@kylano525]

Deadass having a dummy head sounds like a good idea

[@ronin_user]

I’m back rubber-truckers.

[@KristianKumpula]

This is the first video I've watched that is so funny that I had to pause it because I couldn't breathe due to constant laughing.

[@KabouterGhost]

This must have been very hard for these people, i can't even imagine.

[@user-mk5vj5bf3j]

He Said im Back motherfuckers and then his head exploded immeadiately again 😂