These Types Of People Attract Narcissists | Attachment Styles, Relationships & Narcissists

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In this video we discuss some traits that make you vulnerable to narcissistic people. This doesn't mean that it is your fault or that you need to endure an abusive relationship, but hopefully can realize these areas of opportunity will help you make better choices in your love life.
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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel, and thank you for stopping by!
This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.
Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!
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#Narcissist #NarcissisticRelationships #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #AttachmentStylesAndRelationships #RelationshipBoundaries #LoveBombing #Gaslighting #AttachmentStyles
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[@lauuura]

#1 You are overly empathetic #2 You don’t have boundaries #3 You self criticize #4 You don’t feel worthy of love #5 You lack self trust

[@zuyabuya3619]

1. You are overly empathetic at the expense of being able to empathize with yourself (you notice the narcissist's deeper insecurities, always see intention behind their action but this isn't an excuse to let them continue to abuse you) 2. You lack boundaries (perfect for narcissist to exploit you, feels familiar to you from past trauma so you accept it) 3. Negative internal dialogue and extreme self-criticism (narcissist puts you down to make you insecure and keep you hooked; criticism feels familiar to you because you do it to yourself anyway so you accept it) 4. You put yourself and your own needs last (narcissist feels like you're here to give them what they need) 5. You feel like you're not worthy of love/connection (in love bombing stage, narcissist meets your needs and you get addicted to it because your needs were never met earlier/in childhood, you feel like nobody's ever made you feel like this before; they intermittently meet your needs to keep you hooked) 6. You lack self-trust (out of relationship to yourself, you're not consistent/congruent with yourself, so when narcissist gaslights you, etc., it feels familiar and you accept it)

[@Revolution-tl5wo]

Just an FYI for people that have had bad experiences with narcissists and are just learning about attachment styles: Functionally, being with a DA feels absolutely no different than being with a pathological narcissist. Even though dismissive-avoidant attachment and narcissism are totally different things and motivated by different pathologies, the experience of them is almost exactly the same. My relationship with my DA ex was dominated by his needs and competing against me to get his needs met over meeting mine. All we ever argued about (and by argued, I mean he constantly picked fights about) was *his* needs, *his* boundaries, *his* space, *his* schedule. I gave and gave and gave to that relationship and it was never enough. I worked so hard to cooperate and collaborate, and all he wanted was to compete. Then, whenever I tried to assert my own needs and resolve why they weren't getting met, he would hijack the conversation and make that about *his needs* too. There was no room for me at all, and he didn't care. "I, me, my" were his obsession 24/7. Ugh. I'll never get involved with a DA again. Maybe it wasn't deliberately abusive in the way that narcissists abuse, but that doesn't make a difference because he put zero work into being better at any of it and expected me to just accept that that's how he is. The effect was the same as narcissistic abuse in the end. It was exhausting, he took from me til I had nothing left to give myself and then blew up the whole relationship and disappeared. I got literally nothing out of it. And of course, he's never bothered to apologize or own up to his shitty behavior. I mean, why would he? *He* got everything he wanted. Ultimately, it's not worth investing in either of them because of how utterly- and unrepentantly- self-centered both of these types are.

[@erin459]

This was absolutely spot on. A narcissistic relationship was what brought me to PDS to begin with and now that I have addressed all of the things you mentioned, I no longer feel any draw whatsoever to people like that (I'm quite repulsed by it now). If you are just getting out of a narcissistic relationship trust me there is light at the end of the tunnel!

[@Maria-gg5yv]

This gives me confidence in my recovery

[@mailill]

Surprisingly, there are some couples where both are narcissists or at least where both have strong narcissistic traits. It happens more often than one would believe. And it is not great for their children, to say the least.

[@Nothing7194]

Yep…I matched all 6. I’ve got to get myself together. So glad I found you and ur channel to help me!!!

[@romaekimberlybisnott6226]

I feel so seem & validated from my recent experience after watching your content on narcissism. I’m crying bc I finally feel like someone understands me. Thank you so much. Please keep this content up. I’m embarking on another intense healing journey from being with a covert narc/machevellian. It’s by far the hardest thing but I deserve to give it to myself. Thank you so much.

[@eveyep432]

shadow work and meditation and ancient breathing techniques helped me drastically

[@elodeagg457]

No wonder I kept on attracting people with high narcissistic qualities; I have a history of having all those qualities. 😑 (I was raised by two people with high narcissistic qualities.) I have not dated in a long time because I don't trust myself to pick a good person. I have wanted to stop the abuse in relationships, but I haven't known how. So, to save myself, I haven't dated... But I have been working hard in PDS to heal all the things that make me "the ideal target," without knowing this would help me pick a better partner. Maybe if I tried dating again, I would succeed in finding a good person, since I am much more healthy now. 🤔 My subconscious comfort zone is more on the treating me well spectrum. 🤔

[@Katrica670]

I ❤️you Thais! Thank you sooo much for the free golden nuggets! 😍☺️ #1 omg sooo true, sooo sad! Too much empathy and seeing others pain to the point of Not seeing your own, and Not empathizing with your own! 😭😭 Church will def do this to you! 😭😭 Yes this is fully with narcs, but it is also with non-narcs, i was subconsciously building up my female friend she was worse of a doormat than me! I hated how she was being treated like shit, but there i was also being treated like shit by "ppl", more like things of society! I did this for yyyyyears to the subconscious neglect of myself! 😭😭

[@TofuTeo]

This is one of the best videos I've seen on this topic, thanks Thais! Very insightful and nuanced despite being only 11 minutes long :-)

[@Katrica670]

#3 growing up they would Always preach that we are Nothing but as low as worms, that we are Nothing, god and the church are everything, and that is where we got our worth and validation. 😭😭

[@Katrica670]

@@nahomelion say what you want, lotsa people have been hurt in the church! Those are your opinions, and what you want people to believe that you are secure. If you were sooo secure you wouldn't be triggered. And i noticed that it is always the highly fraudulent, hateful ones that are quick to defend. P.s. remember how can you love a building, love a being you cant see and Not love your own fellow earthlings! Goodbye! You know Nothing about me, you rude male! Leave me alone!!!! Edited: you are the Only hateful one and you are religious! Go figure! Everyone writes nice stuff to me, except you what a shame! Churches do Not harm ah?! Good one! Now go take your hatred back where it belongs religious person living a double life. You are what is wrong with the world, denying, minimizing people's true pain and true source! Ugh!

[@Nirosha101]

@@nahomelion the original poster shared what *they were taught* and conditioned to believe in the comment above, so they were still coming from the point of view of their own unique experience. Nowhere in their comment do I see them making a general statement against the church or God or a particular religion.

[@Make1984FictionAgain]

@@nahomelion if your experience is so great you would not have felt attacked by this. That doesn't give you the right to preach and discredit the experience of the OP as you are doing. Be thankful your experience was positive. Some of us were raised in more extreme circumstances. I can understand where the OP is coming from- as children in the group I was raised in, it was drilled into and through us that we are worth absolutely nothing and if there is anything good in us,it is Jesus. You may have no idea what that can do to a human psyche to be raised like that and I am happy for you. But where is your compassion if you feel the need to attack others because they still suffer from having these horrible wounds inflicted in their subconscious? Can you even begin to imagine what it takes to reprogram a fraction of it? If God made you secure, do not go cutting down others who did not have that luxury.

[@Katrica670]

@@Make1984FictionAgain that's exactly the point! Regular people and people that are secure always have empathy, plus they know they are Not perfect either! Only narcs diminish, deny, minimize, exploit others and their pain. They also tend to revel in people's pains, obstacles, misery! P.s. he is Not being truthful anyhow cause even reading articles psychiatrists say that every family has it's dysfunctions in it, so of course religions do because they are a form of politics. Eg. I am the righteous one, you are Not! Our religion is the right way, yours is Not! We are/I am going to heaven I'm blessed, you are going to hell you're cursed! You are Not serious about God because you don't come every week, but yet many of the highly fraudulent ones go every week and also announce their religion. Etc. Etc. Etc. These are all forms of extreme doctrines, exclusion, and arrogance so......

[@Make1984FictionAgain]

@@Katrica670 this is why I call out the hypocrisy,from someone who writes under another post that what allowed them to work on their core wounds was to learn to blame the situations that led to the trauma events instead of blaming themselves. But then it is not okay for you to do them same because it triggers them? How is that secure? Perhaps Listen to your bible when it says"How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove that splinter in your eye,’ when you do not even notice the wooden beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! Remove the plank from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter in your brother’s eye.” Luke 6:39-42 and Matthew 7:1-5" Blanket statements or not, there is a disorder called ReligiousTrauma Syndrome for a reason.

[@sw1216]

Thais, thank you for making the world a better place. You are an inspiration!

[@nappyfries]

I’m doing a lot better with a lot of these but yup every single one applies to me. With being a FA & suspecting that I have BPD, it just feels like a relationship with a narcissist is the only relationships I’ll ever have.

[@Maria-gg5yv]

Oh hun! please don't say that!! You deserve a lot of understanding and an amazing partner!

[@nappyfries]

@@Maria-gg5yv thank you! I agree but just saying that I feel like a healthy relationship is questionable for me. I just don’t know if I can actually see it happening.

[@tedtalksrock]

Seeing it happen (in your belief system and view of yourself and what you deserve) in your expectation for yourself is KEY to having it happen. It will take self-work mostly reprogramming your self-directed ‘script’ and the things you say to yourself. But you CAN get there. Believe me. Tell yourself your worth. I love you and believe in you! The PDS would be a good place to start. You can also wtite your own new scripts… you do have to say them aloud to yourself. Ie “I am loving and worthy of being loved completely by complete partner who values me and loves me for my whole self.” You can say this aloud or write your own positive script. But say it over and over. Even if it feels silly. It will help your subconscious mind to start believing that you deserve a healthy and complete person. Try to use positives “ie i deserve a healthy whole partner.” Instead of negatives “ie I dont want a narssicist partner.” The positives will help your subconscious mind start to change to support your growth toward this change. I believe you can do it!!! ❤️

[@Alimck333]

Always such comprehensive, enlightening and informative content 🙏🏽 🙌🍃

[@TheHermitTeller]

Bless you Thais for all the work you do here in this space. Thank you ❤️🙏🏼

[@avakennedy3519]

This an important video that will benefit many. I’m going to take the course-I’m already in the school.

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

I haven’t figured out why I attract these people. Thank you. Your tips give me hope to change because u can only change what you recognize.🤯

[@BigErnieBrown]

ABSOLUTLEY SPOT ON. EVERY POINT SPOT ON with my prior relationship w my NPD girlfriend.

[@jassimjassim1565]

Dear thais, thank you for your valuable insights. I have a difficult question which alot of people can‘t answer. Based on my experience and knowledge, Almost ALL narcissist have fearful avoidant attachment style. How to tell the difference between a person with only fearful avoidant attachment style or is a narcissistic disorder individual?

[@art-adventures]

Thanks Thais. I sent this to a friend who has dated two narcissists in a row, maybe three actually. She realizes, but always too late. Hopefully this might help her look at how to approach from the front end.

[@roshalllambert]

I love the Narc content she provides!

[@velislavivanov2269]

Wow, thank you Thais for the yeat again fantastic insight! I noticed exactly those wounds being triggered since I started fantasizing about a Narcissist a month ago. Since I was in PDS for a couple months, however, the feelings are not intense at all. They're just there but I can now easily function without obsessing over the other person. But I am a little perplexed if I want to be with them for what they are or I am just attracted to the traits I've disowned my whole life - like strong individuality, not easily attaching, patience, self-prioritizing and so on. Please share a piece of advice for such a situation.

[@tedtalksrock]

Look at Thias’s videos on Limerence. I think they would help inform your answer this question. Wishing you love & light! ♥️

[@mela995]

Exceptional analysis. Wow I really hope I can change

[@lianavibes]

Very very good advice Thais! Thank you.

[@AmandaLiz72]

SO helpful. THANK YOU!

[@stormyskyz7881]

Narks can exist in a space where accountability and whole people reside

[@Katrica670]

@5:08 does being indoctrinated at a young age help you to develop boundaries?

[@tialdalublink]

Facts.. ❤️

[@DominicaL1134]

Explains a lot about why Johnny fell for Amber, even though a lot if people warned him through the years.

[@missqable]

5 out 5, wow

[@alyajewellery]

That’s me to a T