A Chat About Loneliness and Relapse in Recovery

Subscribe to Cam here - / channel
Help Gary and Harley here - www.gofundme.com/f/harley-my-...
Thank you all, my friends, for filling a space in my life that desperately needed occupying.
Having this channel is a humbling gift. I see you all. Much love.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Subscribe to Cam here - kzbin.info/door/aJevAf-e6hkDDS3sZaQiaw Help Gary and Harley here - www.gofundme.com/f/harley-my-emotion-support-animal-needs-your-help

[@jaimereynolds258]

You don't look dreadful. You look nice and smart in your glasses 🤗

[@heartslove1942]

Jaime Reynolds agree. The color of his shirt/sweater is flattering as well.

[@TheseFourWalls]

You're both such dear, sweet souls. 😍💛

[@jaimereynolds258]

@@TheseFourWalls You actually look like a sexy librarian or something lol

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@jaimereynolds258 Hahaha, I'll take it!You're too kind, sweetpea. Much love to you!!

[@heartslove1942]

Glad to see your face! 🌟 I am just happy when I see a post notification. I subscribed to Cam. The channel does look informative. I relate with the loneliness. I’m trying to push myself out of my comfort zone. I like how you are processing and articulating what you think & feel-saying what you need and why you do things. The fact that you are such an empath-that makes you a special person, & of course I don’t want you to take on too much. Your sense of frankness & your voice are calming to me. Thank you for sharing that with us. I appreciate you & you channel. Thank you for this video & for sharing (about Gary & Harley too). It’s so hard to lose a member of the family. Pets are so important to so many of us-me included. I would be curious to see statistics with pets. 🌟Sending positive energy! I’ll try to make your live stream tomorrow in support. 💙💙💙

[@heartslove1942]

BodyMindHealth TV 100%! Happy to watch and share your videos. The more you know...nice thumbnails btw! Edit: and I agree completely. 💖👍

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@heartslove1942 Thank you so much, dear friend. The support and kindness you've shown me is overwhelming. You're a true friend, and my appreciation runs deep. If there's ever anything you need, I'm here. Much love. 💛✌😊

[@heartslove1942]

These Four Walls thanks Jason! YT doesn’t like to notify me of replies anymore. They told me I had an upvote on this comment. But I appreciate that...truly I do! Have a good one. Straight talkin posted a vid this morning, on the way to watch

[@pettycandy2793]

I'm so happy to see you around again. I thought of you often as I go through exposure therapy. I completely understand the loneliness of it all. The isolation feels necessary because the anxiety of being around others, is exhausting & uncomfortable. It feels safe yet it becomes a prison. You are definitely not alone. I hope you keep taking those tough steps, you deserve happiness.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thanks so much, Candy! I was just telling another friend of mine that it helps knowing we're not alone, even within our isolation. I appreciate you all so much, for reminding me even within the self-imposed solitude, I'm with friends. 💛 And great job for continuing with your own exposure therapy. It's hard, rewarding work, and I'm proud of you. ✌😊

[@cindybriggs2725]

So good to see you love ya friend

[@TheseFourWalls]

Love ya in return, my friend. Thanks for the support!! 💛😊

[@littlesteph777]

Wow you just literally described how I am feeling since moving and how i tried to explain it to my mum. Only difference is I'd give anything to have a cat for company - I think Id cope a lot better once I am able to adopt a cat! Good to see you

[@TheseFourWalls]

I love you, shister Steph. We often don't have to say much to understand each other, and I appreciate you so much. And yes, adopting Luna has given me more joy (and, at times, more anxieties) than I could have imagined. She's such a little ball of love. 💛😍

[@JustMe_OhWell]

Omg I do that too and sometimes it can be extremely draining. You're very empathetic! Look into it. It will resonate with you too I promise! 🙏😊 You will find that one person and it will be hard because you're so used to being alone and they will come in and move everything around and not understand half the time why you are having a off day BUT they won't leave! 💗 They will love you for YOU!

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thanks for such a beautiful comment, my friend. You're so kind. 💛☺

[@KingdomPlans]

Hello my love! No apologies needed Jason, life happens! You look great. I'll be there at the live, whenever you are ready. I've been feeling so bad for Gary from Bipolar Corner, his ESA boxer dog is sick and he's been very low. I'm super proud that you are in a better place now than you were. Loneliness is like that for me too, I'm a solitary person and can feel completely alone in a room full of people. You can always talk to me hun, about anything. I understand social anxiety, but I really believe that you're a special person to be around and to talk to. You're a gift to this world! You know I've got your back my Jay Bird! I love you to bits 💖😘 xxxxx ETA: just heard you mention the GFM, thankyou sweetheart! 💕

[@TheseFourWalls]

Hello Meg, my dear! Thank you, as always, for the warmth and understanding and support. You are such a sweet soul, and I'm so grateful to have you in my corner. Truly. Much, much love, sweetheart. 💛✌

[@cece3194]

I haven't been here in a while. You're lookin great! Hang in there!

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so very much for the comment and support, friend! ✌😊

[@golddustwoman104]

Jason, My Friend, Your Introspection, Self-awareness And Your Ability to be So Honest about it is So Powerful! I really admire You So Much. I relate to You in So Many Ways, it still blows my mind Sometimes. I will be honest, there have been more than a few times thst I wanted to call you, I struggle with isolation too. I Love Your Beautiful Soul, Jason. I'll definitely look into Cam's channel and I will absolutely help Bi-Polar Corner with his Dog. The comfort and unconditional love my dogs and cats have given me through the years has been So Important in my Life❤

[@TheseFourWalls]

I'm touched by your friendship, and grateful to have your support. Always feel free to reach out and text or call. You're in my thoughts. 💛💙 Thank you.

[@JamesKirkbride]

Thanks for this video, I needed it! we have a lot of similar problems, it made me feel less alone! I completely understand about the choosing to be alone and liking to be alone, but you feel so lonely and crave interaction! That’s something I really struggle with. And I’m the exact same way sexually too! It’s good to see your face again! 💜I still have a few videos to catch up on on you, sorry I’ve been distant (you know how it is 😉😛💛)

[@TheseFourWalls]

We're of the same mind, my friend. You never have to apologise for being distant. I understand completely. Thanks for your friendship and support. 💛✌🙏

[@TheBipolarOg]

I so relate to your feelings and experience on how being lonely, but preferring to be alone makes life confusing. it's a struggle I deal with daily, but I'm comforted by this thought: At least i am able to cope alone.That's not to say it's better...just that I've learned I'm growing all the time. Love to you my dear friend 💖

[@Jen18812]

It's great that you're being so honest about your process and are willing to do the hard work. Congratulations to you.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so very much, I'm able to be open, because you're all right here with open arms. 💙💛💙

[@Jen18812]

@@TheseFourWalls Wonderful. Warms my heart.

[@Blondie727]

Thank you for raising awareness about Gary’s dog. I left him a comment and I’ll donate in a few days. I try to watch a bit of everyone’s channels in the community but it can overwhelming. As for your video, I can relate to you in so many ways. I hate being alone yet find comfort in it. I’m also a ruminator. There’s a lot of similarities. You make me feel less alone by being able to relate.😊 Glad to see you & take your time doing the live-streams. 😂 at your thumbnail. I’m glad you have humor.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank god for my humor, or I'd be crying all the time. Lol. I've been very emotional, due to the seasons changing, but I'm coming back or of it, and will hopefully start my exposure therapy videos again. Thanks for always being here, always being a sweet soul, and always offering me support. Thank you💜

[@sabbithablood5219]

I hope one day the right person will be able to share your life and experience with you and show you that love you deserve. I know some people thrive on their own and maybe you are one of them I don't know? My heart just wishes you to one day fall in love and be truly loved back!🙏❤🤗

[@TheseFourWalls]

This is so sweet of you to say. Thank you for this comment, friend. 🙏💛✌

[@kerryirving2949]

I hope you feel better soon Jason you seem down ❤️. I feel the same regarding what you said about having alone time/beening lonely.Although I to have been isolating myself due to high anxiety, depersonalisation, & parinoia. I hope I'll make your livestream tomorrow but I've been taking my night medication in the afternoon as a way of coping/managing what's going on for me just so I can at least get a few hours sleep

[@TheseFourWalls]

I can relate, Kerry, with taking your night meds early, just to ensure a few hours of sleep. Depression and isolation are a tricky combo. Thank you for commenting and always showing your support, dear friend. I'm always here if you need to talk. 💛😊

[@kerryirving2949]

These Four Walls I've NEVER thought that somebody would relate you taking their night medication early & for the SAME reasons I do. Thank you for replying. With the time difference I'm not sure if your livestream is 9pm tonight mine time or 9pm tomorrow my time. I remember you saying uk is 5 hours ahead of you. It's 6pm Sunday here now. I've probley made you all confused now saying what I have about times/days! I've definally confused myself! Ha

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@kerryirving2949 lol, nope, I understood you, my friend. ;) It would be 9 pm tonight, your time. Thanks, as always, for the support. 💛✌💛

[@kerryirving2949]

These Four Walls ha did you that's ok then. If I don't make it tonight I will watch it back, do you keep your live-streams on to watch after?

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@kerryirving2949 No problem if you can't make it, I always keep them up. 💛✌ You're in my thoughts, friend.

[@StraightTalkinFedoraChic]

I think it's quite a breakthrough when an addict pinpoints how and why he/ she may relapse. Goes to that first step of admitting there is a problem to be solved, imo. Loneliness is problematic indeed. Glad you're able to find companionship with your cat. I should be able to make your livestream today. Assuming youtube sends me the notification that is.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Yes, depression and isolation... Agoraphobia and loneliness, they are difficult combinations to work with. Thank you for your friendship and support. It's a blessing to have you all behind me while I work thru this. 💛✌💛

[@andreawimer4334]

Thanks for this video. I'm having a terrible time getting and staying sober. I can't do AA. I tried for 30 years. Triggers galore by all the assholes in AA. Yesterday just a text from my brother triggered me. I have no contact with ANY family except 1 brother. I think he was actually spying for my other brother. My neighbors( who were rude as could be) moved. And stupidly that added to my triggered state. I listened to Thomas Hall.let go and heal your past. I woke up after an all night session feeling much better. My flashbacks can usually go on for days or weeks but Thomas Hall KZbin nipped it in the bud. Thank God. You look fine. Glad I found your videos. I need support. Blessings.

[@jenispants]

Nice to see you! Hope to be able to make your livestream :D

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so much, as always, for the kind support, Jeni! 💛

[@merncat75]

I loved seeing your beautiful cat in the beginning 😻 (and you look far from dreadful in this video) 💖

[@merncat75]

I wish we could hang out.. I can relate to every word you said. I wish I could figure out how to make money from home.. I think it's the only reason I'm not officially agoraphobic (not saying I want to be but it would make things easier if I didn't *have* to go out) forcing myself every day to not only leave the house but interact with the public is very stressful on my mind and body.. the anxiety makes me feel sick.

[@merncat75]

I think what we both crave is to just chill with someone but not have to be "on" ..not have to even talk, just be. And I know what you mean about never being a sexual person. Every relationship I've ever been in, that was the guy's main priority and I guess that's supposed to be natural for most people but I just never cared about that. It's nice hearing you talk about such personal things. I appreciate your openness and honesty 💖

[@merncat75]

Damn Jason, I'm so sorry for what you went through 😞 I'm watching as I'm commenting.. I might have to start from the beginning of your videos. I know I don't really know you but I already feel a strong connection to you and your soul 💞 wish I could give you a hug (even though I cringe sometimes when people try to hug me) that might be because I grew up in a family that literally never showed any emotion towards each other.. not even a simple hug, not even a verbal "I love you" from a sibling or parent, just felt like a bunch of strangers living in a house together which is what I think started my disconnect from people, even though I get extremely lonely also. It's a very confusing feeling.

[@merncat75]

Oh man I wish I could help Gary out 😔 I know the feeling all to well.. animals are my life!! I actually rescued many cats off the streets before I went down this road and became broke. I have 4 cats (had 5 but lost my baby girl unexpectedly to a tumor in January) there will forever be a void in my heart. Sadly all 4 are getting old at the same time and 2 of them have serious health issues that I'm struggling badly to keep up with.. I can barely afford to feed them or myself. I work at a pet food/ supply store for the past 3 years and that's the only reason I've made it this far is because thankfully they help me feed my cats. They give me samples and overstock whenever they can but medical bills can be extremely expensive and I'm so fearful that I can't keep up with caring for them properly but my oldest is 18 and I found her as a kitten, I could never give them up.. it would be like giving up a child it would tear my heart out and I could never live with myself.. plus it would be just as devastating and traumatizing for them since this is the only home they've ever known. I can't even think about it because it is not an option but I do worry about how I'm going to keep up. I've already tried applying for CareCredit but was denied twice because I'm always behind on my bills so I have bad credit now (apparently the energy bill shows up on credit scores) Life is beyond difficult sometimes.

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@merncat75 Wow, you are someone I truly relate with. Everything you said, right down to the passing of your cat (I had to have my baby Maxine euthanized, due to cancer, 4 years ago, and it's still painful to think about. You miss them every day. I'm a longer with no children, and no plans on having any, so animals are my babies. I used to be a caregiver, but now I struggle too much leaving the house, so I can't be dependable. My email is Zennorjd82 at gmail dot com (I have to write it out that way, otherwise it blocks the link) so feel free to reach out privately and hopefully we can chat sometime. You are EXACTLY the type of person I wish lived close by. I don't have anyone that really gets it, in my personal life. Hope to hear from you soon, friend. Much love and light.

[@spencercox3828]

Hi any updates

[@_Roasted_Marshmallow]

How are you doing now?

[@alexisaac1554]

Hay what happened to my benzo hell you know the guy? He smoked weed on his videos and he was detoxing off the methadone? And the benzos

[@TheseFourWalls]

Hey Alex. Yeah, I know George. I think he's still around. I know he had taken a break from KZbin for awhile.