The Honest Reasons I Read Dark Books

[@AntisocialAuntie]

Horror books helped me process the trauma at home when I was a teen. Because the protagonist survived. So I will also survive. And horror is basically the adult version of old fairy tales, which I was obsessed with too. 🧡

[@TheShadesofOrange]

I'm sorry you went through that

[@AntisocialAuntie]

@TheShadesofOrange Thank you. And I am really grateful you shared why you read dark books and how it changes as your life changes. Lots of love from the Pacific Northwest 🧡

[@AudioEpics]

Yes. This is spot on! I sympathize.

[@FrankOdonnell-ej3hd]

I once had the pleasure of speaking to Clive Barker on a radio call-in talk show and asked if he felt in his horror fiction he was in a kind of competition with all the real-life horrors in the world to “scare people”. He said he loved the question but he wasn’t really out to scare anyone but to offer them something that could be therapeutic for their everyday fears and anxieties . That’s what I thought of when you said great horror stories helped you deal with childhood traumas. Be well.⚛️❤

[@shanemeyer1565]

I feel exactly the way you do! These are all the reasons I love horror and thrillers! I have anxiety and PTSD -- and horror books help me process that, feel safe, gain empathy for others who are different than me, etc. I always love your content Shades! Sorry for being a lurker most of the time. You're amazing and your videos always get me so excited for more books!

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks for sharing that. I'm sorry you have that trauma

[@sharath_95]

Reading is personal. I Respect your choice Rachel 💙

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks

[@ipoma]

I always tell people I watch and read horror because I need something that is worse than what is in my head. It goes over as about as well as you’d think 😂. Trauma sucks

[@devlyn873]

I find reading "dark" books actually eases my anxiety overall.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

I've heard that from some horror loving friends

[@OnyxSkiesXIX]

I love all things horror because it let's me experience terrible things in a safe manner. It's exactly like a roller coaster. Your body thinks you're gonna die as you drop down and go in loops but your brain knows you're fine. All the thrill, none of the danger. Plus, with depression, I often just don't feel much of anything and fear is the easiest emotion to evoke I guess.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Makes a lot of sense

[@josephcossey1811]

" The important thing in writing is to astonish. Not shock - shock is a worn-out word - but astonish." - Terry Southern 1924 - 1995

[@Unpotted]

@@josephcossey1811 I think originality is most important, but I guess that’s usually astonishing, so yeah, ok. 😺✌️

[@AudioEpics]

'Tremendum et fascinosum'. Astonishment and shock are good neighbours. It's why I think we should use the word 'aweseful'. 🙂

[@krisprepolec5616]

I had a really happy childhood. I was on the honour role, and a star athlete, but I have been a big horror fan since I watched Frankenstein in the second grade (likely even before). My heart is like a campfire marshmallow with a dark charred outside, and a gooey centre. I have an especial affinity for the poignant.

[@magicalwren7803]

Thank you for your honest answer. Many of your comments hit home for me and I can totally relate to. Dark books help me deal with my past, present and possibly future. It’s a safe way of experiencing the darkness in the world. I don’t typically read as dark as you do, but not because I think there’s anything wrong with reading them. And I try not to read anything home invasion. That just hits on some of my biggest fears. Keep reading what you love!

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks

[@socaltoobie8984]

I actually never gave it a second thought as to why you preferred this genre. 😊 But that’s me being oblivious! Thank you for sharing. It was very insightful!

[@David-sg1yi]

I completely agree with your stand on censorship. As a kid I was drawn to a certain kind of fantasy story (aka Narnia) because I could escape into the book and go with the characters through the wardrobe into another place. And I enjoyed other fantasy stories of a similiar stripe probably because in RL, I didn't like where I was and wanted to get away and couldn't. As for dark stories or horror, I remember as a kid going to my elementary school library and checking out every book that had ghost stories in it that I could find. I'm guessing I was drawn to that as a kid because it allowed me to escape from what I was dealing with and the dark stories I was reading had an end whereas in RL, stuff was just ongoing.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Glad you understood what I meant regarding censorship

[@metalbeestings]

I agree with your reasons as well. When you read as much as I do, it means so much to have something grab your mind and stick. No other genre spurs my imagination to run wild with possibilities. Talented horror writers have a place in my heart. You do a great job with your channel!! ❤

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thank you

[@AudioEpics]

I can relate to your reasons to read (and write) dark books. I also agree with the reasons why you are opposed to censorship. I hate it when 'society' determines what we can't write (or read), but also when it determines what we should write. Writers should be 100% free to tell their own story. That way, we get a wide variety of things to read and there is an audience for every author.

[@isam.2653]

I can definitely relate and these are most of the reasons why I read dark things as well. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable in such a public way, it really helps people like me to feel less alone in their lived experiences and reading habits ❤

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks for sharing

[@nextpageadventure9160]

Thanks for sharing! I recently subscribed because I’m new to dark and horror fiction. Over the years, I got really into grimdark fantasy, which has some horror elements, and then I read some fantasy authors who dabble in horror. I discovered that reading horror as if it's dark fantasy can actually be more fun-especially since many horror novels are standalone and shorter, while fantasy often tends to be dense and part of a series. I’m realizing that horror can be way smarter and more thought-provoking than I ever expected.

[@Tessy31]

Hi, Rachel! Thank you for opening up about why you're into horror. I've loved horror since I was a child, at first because it was forbidden by my parents but later on, I went on enjoying feeling scared. I agree with what you said that a book should make you feel something, and I find that being disturbed, disgusted or terrified by a book is thrilling. I can't really explain why 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@mesocylon]

this was super validating, thank you. i had a violent childhood which led to later self-inflicted violence, and so i find horror therapeutic as well.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

So sorry you went through that. I hope you're doing well

[@TheMike28212]

Fantastic video! It is really interesting why we read and enjoy the things we do especially when they are darker in nature. I appreciate you sharing the reasons behind you being drawn to dark fiction and stabby books. 🔪📚🧟‍♀🖤

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks

[@rachelunabridged]

i'm actually really glad to hear you take on this topic at length! we're having a censorship situation in the US atm where people are going after books for various reasons (mostly it's homophobia and racism) so it's nice to hear people talk about being opposed to censorship and on board with the right to read. i've had so many people give me a hard time for the kind of books i read too. when i read my first true crime book as a teenager, i was chastised so strongly about it that i didn't read another one until i was an adult and in a safer environment. for me, dark fiction helps me to project and process my own traumas in a lot of ways so that's a big factor as to why i was attracted to it at a young age and continue to read it now.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Sorry you're dealing with so much censorship.

[@jbellinger99]

Nice analysis of your feelings. It is always interesting to converse with the dark side - how else will you understand what returning to the light means? At the same time, i understand that some people do not wish to revisit personal trauma.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks

[@Cory_bo]

Thank you for sharing this with us! I’m from Mexico and there’s a lot of violence here, so I don’t like watching or reading slasher ‘cause… well, I just need to watch the local news. Great video as always!

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Sorry you are dealing with local violence

[@Knee-JerkReactor]

I completely agree with you. And horror film fans get the same kind of flack, even more so. It's such an old cliche that people who like horror are either bad or there's something wrong with them.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Yes I definitely get judgement in IRL

[@Octobig]

you have such a way of explaining the myriad of reasons why dark fiction can be great to read. absolutely a great video & one i might forward to others as well to help explain why i like the genre ❤

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks

[@Snick3927]

Such good, clear, helpful sense spoken here-thanks! I always figured that those who deny the dark side of humanity and of themselves are leading only half a life.

[@cindywingetbooks]

Everything you said is spot on

[@O.M.G.Puppies]

Your kids are so lucky. I remember my mother reading books to me when I was 4 or 5, teaching me early on to respect and value books. I have friends now who give their toddlers an iPad, and I really wonder if that is good in terms of reading and attention span. A couple interesting books are "The American Boy's Handy Book" and "The American Girl's Handy Book", written int he 1890s. They are full of cool art, science and building projects, and an interesting snapshot of how people looked at kids so long ago, much more progressive than I would have thought. I'd say both books are interesting to both boys and girls. Sorry, kind of off topic for this channel.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks

[@Eric.Taylor.1962]

I'm only an occasional viewer of your channel but I think this is one of the best videos I've seen on the topic of reading dark books. I can sympathise with much of what you say and you have articulated many of my own feelings. And it's great to hear you talking about how you deal with these topics with your son. The world would be a better place if there were more parents like you. Best wishes to you and your family.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thank you

[@BruceWayne15325]

I've always loved suspense novels ever since I was a kid. I didn't get into the horror novels quite so much, but I totally agree that the reason they drew me in is because they made me feel something powerful. I've been writing since a kid, and I've also found that I tend to write dark novels, either grimdark or suspense, even if I'm trying to write something else. My current series started off as an epic fantasy, but it is definitely turning into a grimdark epic fantasy series. (I'm a pantser if that's not obvious.)

[@josephiyeke8946]

Gosh, I never considered why I’ve been drawn to dark books. I’ve been doing it for so long, RL Stine was probably my intro into horror, and graduated to King very quickly. Thank you for the video, and the channel! You’re a great source to find my flavor of books :)

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks*

[@KyraSanders]

I appreciate everything you've said here and I'm glad your son gets a safe space to explore. I also love your recs. I find I'm mostly aligned with your thoughts on books, so please never change. Thank you! ❤

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks

[@Montie-Adkins]

You are very good at this. I hope you are well.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thank you! I'm doing well

[@midlifebookcrisis81]

Thanks for opening up and sharing! I always appreciate you perspective on a book even if our tastes may not always align. I'm looking for nuance and depth and stories that are exploring and starting conversations. Keep up the great work! No yums, yucked. No kinks shamed.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thank you

[@Viksbelle]

Back in the early 90s, when I first started writing fan fiction, my second story submission to the Pern fanzine I illustrated for was rejected by the new editor. The story had the main character encountering a character who had sexually harassed and attempted to rape her in her youth. The argument was that several group members were minors, and child rape was inappropriate for them to read about. I wanted to argue with her (she was a child psychologist for her day job). I was talked out of it, something I now regret. I am a survivor of child rape. Not talking/writing about such things doesn't make them go away. It just makes opportunities for predators to prey on the innocent/ignorant-of.

[@monilily]

I completely agree with what you said. Plus I'm so intrigued with the human psyche and reading these type of books just feeds my curiosities 😝

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Another good point

[@EricBowersTrekkie]

Yes, I think you have to feel safe in order to enjoy these books. I have been very reluctant to read this type of book since Helene came through our small city. Instead, for now, I am re-reading some of the old Travis McGee books by John D, McDonald. I guess maybe because the main character manages to take control of dangerous situations? That series is a comfort read for me. But I will continue to hang out and watch your channel if that's okay. :-)

[@Zugzug386]

Thank you for sharing your well thought out perspective on this topic. I think I relate to you on liking dark sides of fiction though I am sure if I think about it I have my boundaries. That said definitely second the do not yuck my yum stance, one persons tastes and views are not reason enough to say some work or style of story is wrong for everyone. Grateful for the content you share and community you foster here and hope you and your family are having a wonderful Halloween.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thank you. Happy Halloween

[@Millie.C]

I giggled a bit when you mentioned Pollyanna. I do relate about everything you said, first of all the need to feel something from a book. That is exactly the reason why for example Salem's Lot, or Pet Sematary got 3-4 stars, but The Hellbound Heart got 5 stars from me because I felt so much reading that book (and overall it was great). And because I suffer from generalized anxiety, reading thrillers/horror help me with facing my fears in a way, giving me some confidence. I never thought about how we need to feel safe in our environment in order to enjoy this genre, this is a great idea to take home and be more grateful about my current situation compared to when I was younger. I am really happy I found your channel, I follow a few booktubers but with you I feel the most akin. Thanks for sharing this, I really enjoy these videos where you speak about how you feel about what you read, the act of reading, why you choose certain books etc. ☠☢

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks for your kind words and opening up about how you used dark fiction to help with your anxiety

[@durandaldevil]

Thank you, Rachel. I appreciate the video. Gave me some insight as an author as to how to approach sensitive subjects.

[@Unpotted]

As I’ve watched you over the years, I’ve come to understand you in a certain way. We are kindred spirits, I think. You are a “final girl.” 😉 Enjoy Halloween!👻 😺✌️

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Aw thank you. Your comment made my night

[@CJG1419]

I understand exactly what you’re saying

[@garrick665]

Well said 👏🏻

[@jeanninethompson6243]

Interesting video. I’ve occasionally felt judged for my reading preferences. I like what I like and never gave it much thought. Now I will think about it. 😂

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Sorry you've felt judged

[@AuraReadsBooks]

Yes to all this. Thank you!

[@zackm3456]

Well said Rachel! Thank you for sharing even though you didn’t have to. 👻

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks

[@maxturgeon89]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, this was really interesting. I appreciate the insight into your personal journey through dark fiction. I think you absolutely nailed it about dark fiction giving us the language and the space to discuss dark things that occur around us. The movie critic Jonathan Rosenbaum once made the point that the darkest/most violent movies to ever win the Oscar for Best Picture did so at times when the US Army was engaging in wars abroad. It's almost as if these movies were a way to try to explain the violence abroad.

[@elonmusksellssnakeoil1744]

The US military is engaging in wars abroad at nearly all times throughout its entire existence. You can make the case that the most pacifist and peaceful movies also won the most awards when the US military was engaging in wars abroad and that would be accurate.

[@maxturgeon89]

@elonmusksellssnakeoil1744 you're right, I was imprecise. I meant specifically at the onset of it. The examples Rosenbaum gave were the First Gulf War and the Iraq war, with The Silence of the Lambs and No Country for Old Men as the respective Oscar winners.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

That's interesting

[@jtru0]

Thank you for this video. Take care.

[@WynterRyot]

I don't read horror as much as I did when I was younger BUT I love dark fantasy. I got annoyed with good vs evil and white knights saving the day. I began feeling bad for some of the villains in Disney movies who I felt were misunderstood and expressing their anger, resentment, etc the only way they knew how and maybe wouldn't have turned out the way they did if someone took the time to listen and guide them. When I read books now, I look for flawed characters. Give me the morally grey trying to find their way. Those are my favorite.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Appreciate you weighing in. That makes a lot of sense

[@nailpolishnook7373]

Totally agree.

[@miyayume_eclectic_dream]

I was suprised by this video. Never tought about why you read horror. I was looking for a channel about horror books as I want to read more and find out which ones a the newest or the best or whatever . I like you videos very much! One reads what one wants to read. [On a side note...two hours ago I picked my preorder Pride and Prejudice in Space....it is going to be good or bad or boring or fenomenal....no Idea I wanted a spin-off with pretty cover. So be it.] An now I am here 🥰 I like reading horror from time to time BUT never tried to go tooooo dark. It is me. For example I do love and recommend the Movie LIFE but o boy o boy it made me think about it for a week! It is not even that scary but yeah it had an impact. To this day The Wasp Factory is my favorite book. And I was sooo into the Serial Killer series by Dan Wells. As I see it: if you are interested read it, if you want to go darker work on your immunity I know I need to work from ok to heavy stuf myself. BTW do you have a video like that? Like 5 Tier Ranking for low scarry to chefs kiss scary ? Thx.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

I've done videos on scary books, but not necessarily one that ranks them by scariness level

[@miyayume_eclectic_dream]

@TheShadesofOrange I know I do watch because of scarry and horror and military books. Could not remember if you have done the ranking so I asked...🤗

[@coleenmorgan431]

As a fellow dark fiction lover I appreciate your take on why you read dark fiction. I too am a survivor of childhood trauma but unlike you I've been reading darker fiction, mostly horror, since I was 8. Now that I'm in a safe place in life I feel I can read dark fiction that could really happen as long as it isn't one of the things that triggers me. Thanks for the peek into why you read dark fiction. Great video

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Sorry you went through that

[@salomegreeneyes1542]

In my opinion, you have an awesome channel. I have gotten great recommendations from your lists. I do like dark, creepy, scary, etc. I appreciate you sharing. Thank you.👍🏻🧟‍♀️🧛🏻Happy Halloween 👻

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thank you. Happy Halloween

[@shunaxhicastillejos1191]

I have read books that I think are dark, but maybe not necessarily for some other people, and I have realized that even though they were great in execution or they had literary merit, I wouldn’t read them again. After this video, I can confirm that it is because those books that actually scared and disturb me are too close to home in a sense. That’s why most supernatural horror doesn’t scare me, but books about crimes that people could commit on the daily basis do.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Makes sense

[@raffisayabalian6542]

Excellent video. Happy Halloween 🎃

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Happy Halloween!

[@karendale9926]

Excellent sharing - thanks ! 👻

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks

[@madlynx1818]

Hey man I think I like being scared And I wish you all were there -‘Scared’ by Dangerous Toys (late 80’s metal band)

[@jjnewbold]

Thanks for sharing

[@EvaMagae1983]

Dark fiction and horror for me serve as a catharsis, they let me explore my traumas in a safe way. I can always stop reading and close the book if I'm too overwhelmed and take a break.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Yes

[@ButOneThingIsNeedful]

For me the key is whether there is, in some way, a redemptive element to the reading (or viewing, if it's a film) experience. Some 'dark' material is just sick and depraved -- period. It shocks, it revolts, it disturbs. For me that's not enough to justify it. It's very hard to put into words precisely, however, what I demand. I don't need a heavy-handed treatment. I'm ok with connecting my own dots. Yet they need to be dots worth connecting. I don't need to be told for hundreds of pages (or for two movie-hours) that vomit is disgusting.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

I hate vomiting in books (or tv)

[@ButOneThingIsNeedful]

@@TheShadesofOrange I didn't mean literal vomit, but sure.

[@nicolefz92]

✨Happy Halloween everyone 👹

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Happy Halloween!

[@joekapp6826]

Pollyanna takes place in a very different reality from the one most of us live in. If it is based on anything true, we should all envy that rare group of people.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Lol so true

[@Jzscrstsprstr]

Reading about happy people - ugh! - they are all alike (to paraphrase Tolstoy), aren't they

[@TheShadesofOrange]

🤣🤣🤣

[@forevermoodreading]

I don't generally read dark things but I agree that you should be allowed to read what you want. I have an issue with some authors that are writing these dark things. They're not always for the right reasons I think...😐

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Yeah that's a good point. I care how authors treat sensitive issues

[@mikeromeo24]

This why I listen to heavy metal 😅

[@umbraklat]

Thank you for this video, great explanation. I have a follow-up question. I've had to take breaks from reading / listening to dark/horror stories because they tend to be bleak, nihilistic, and hopeless. I go out and find a book with a clear hero who overcomes adversary, just to reset. Do you ever feel the same way? Does one book of hopeless, helpless, hapless victims after another just get to be too much? I'm wondering how you deal with that. Thanks!

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Yeah I have steered away from dark topics when I'm dealing with something heavy IRL. Then I'm more likely to escape into a fantasy world

[@BruceWayne15325]

It sounds like you'd like dark fantasy instead of grimdark. Dark fantasy is more about the horror and shock value, but there's a ray of hope, and things tend to turn out well in the end. With grimdark, the world is realistic, nihilistic, and bleak; there's often either not a happy ending, or the happy ending comes at a huge and often horrible cost.

[@jamesbittle469]

I have children, soThe Lovely Bones was a tough read.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

I believe it. I've never gotten past that start 😳

[@JohnSmith-x8s5g]

I hope there weren't any murderous 🤡 in your past. Nice to see T.R. Napper on your shelf.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Lol!

[@JasonsWeirdReads]

🔪🩸☠️😵

[@teslagoth9401]

Don’t yuck my yum… never heard that, I like it

[@TheShadesofOrange]

I love the phrase

[@Mclearmountain]

Niceee

[@katharynbaker5592]

❤

[@billyjohnston4244]

[@IHBooks]

🧟‍♀️ I’m sorry that you’ve experienced trauma, but I’m glad that dark fiction has provided a safe space. 😊

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks

[@tcdewijk3511]

I thought about this video for a couple of days. First of all. Read whatever you want. I think it unfair to outsource self-care. I have always found you to be clear about the books you read. You often provide trigger warnings. In the end I choose what I read. If I find I cannot deal with the content that is down to me.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Thanks

[@roanokebrooks]

🛸

[@josephcossey1811]

Despite her overly cheery and positive outlook on life, towards the end of the book Pollyanna is struck by a car and loses the use of her legs!

[@maxturgeon89]

@@josephcossey1811 according to Wikipedia, she then relearns how to walk... 🤯

[@TheShadesofOrange]

I don't know if I ever finished the book. Did that affect her optimism?

[@josephcossey1811]

Only temporarily!

[@zubaerchaudhari8267]

Hello there hey there hey there hey there hey Hello hey there hey there hey there

[@charlesward8632]

🎃

[@SuperStrangSshadow]

I prefer dark and unsettling books. Can't stand cozy books or romance.

[@eirenemarie1]

🐍🦇🧟‍♂️🧛‍♀️💀 🔪

[@ButOneThingIsNeedful]

One additional question (just watched the rest of the video): So, zero censorship? Really? Do you mean that literally? What about obscene material (for example that depicting sexual perversion with children, visual or otherwise)? Do you feel such should be legal to publish, even if it's fiction? What about literature inciting violence and/or demonstrating how to obtain/construct chemical and explosive weapons? Should the foulest stuff describing racist hatred and torture be uncensored and legal? I could go on with examples, and am not implying your answer is yes to the above; only that some might take that meaning from your stance in the vid, which I hope would be a misunderstanding.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

I see what your saying and of course I have limits. When I talk about censorship, I'm talking about books being pulled off shelves. Florida tried to ban 700+ books including classics like 1984. I have concerns when people want to completely hide the underbelly of society because it allows it to fester in the dark

[@ButOneThingIsNeedful]

@@TheShadesofOrange If your point was that we need to be judicious, no problem. That's not what I usually hear from critics of "censorship". I'm American and almost all the reporting I read on the Florida situation that you cite was extremely biased, deceptive, and politically motivated. I won't turn this comment into an article on it, but suffice it to say that I think censorship has become a emotional trigger that overrides critical thinking for many.

[@bookmarcreads]

😱👻

[@TepidShambles]

🧟‍♀🧟‍♂🧟🔪💀☠

[@toniblessing4624]

🤡👽😱

[@debramaertens893]

🧟‍♀️🤡🫣

[@Tetsujin-28]

I never heard Sam (Superblomper), Anda Kent or Peyton (bookinhand) mention "unfortunate" comments. It's sad that anyone would leave an unflattering comment here. I see Dark Theory on the shelf. Whitney mentioned it so I downloaded that and Dark Kingdom. So many great channels, like yours, have recommended exceptional titles. Very happy I found this channel. 🗡🔪🩸🍖🥩🔕

[@jakobwetzel7065]

Love this video. When I was younger with less regrets I was always in such a good mood all the time I would read or watch dark/ depressing media to feel those emotions. Now I read it just cause it’s a comfort zone and is real compared to the fantasy and sci/fy. Even though Syfi is slowly taking over. 🫠

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Makes sense

[@v.w.singer9638]

I don't often read "dark" or horror works because they don't horrify me. I might find it unpleasant, like walking through muck, or it might even make me laugh. That said, I don't see why people shouldn't read or watch such material if they enjoy it.

[@TheShadesofOrange]

Appreciate that. Thanks

[@jcdenton616]

🥺🪄🪰

[@candicebarbata5028]

🫀🫁🧠🤢✨🧡✨