Shari's life changing journey (Talking insomnia

[@aquariusstarchild5156]

Upur story has really helped relax me ❤im laura ove had chronic insomnia for 2005

[@shannonglover5444]

I love that Shari said, "I have to face my fear every night. The night time is coming whether I like it or not." And it's so true. We have absolutely no choice but to face that. And also that the days are definitely harder than the nights. It's been this anticipatory anxiety for me that has always been the hardest part and then the nights are usually less scary.

[@shariwithey2704]

It's so true. We can't run away from insomnia. We literally have to face it. The only option we have is to make the best of the difficult nights. These days my reaction has totally changed to difficult nights. If I do happen to have a wonky night, I always try to choose the nicer option, usually watching tv for a while, and it feels nicer that trying to force sleep.

[@janinekay]

I need to watch tv instead of panicking …I so struggle though knowing that everyone else is tucked up sleeping in bed… but now I know there are plenty of us … just probably watching tv instead of forcing sleep. I used to think I was the only one suffering this pain as nobody in my friendship circle or family had struggled with insomnia .. it’s more common than I thought !

[@Stuffed_chicken]

@@teresahoang6593 Don't blame yourself...I never had insomnia before and I didn't think I was anxious or worried as a person. And then one day it just happened, all of a sudden, after I caught Covid. It can happen to anybody. I'm still going through it now but I have hope. You didn't ruin your life. We'll get through this.

[@JW-qz4jl]

@@Stuffed_chickenthat’s how my insomnia started to after having Covid, same for my friend as well, we both didn’t consider ourselves as struggling with anxiety either before we had Covid

[@kerrywilliams2375]

@shariwithey2704 hi Shari just watched this episode and delighted to hear a Welsh accent 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿I too am Welsh but I live in Ireland. Really struggling with insomnia and have been watching all these videos but I feel I should just take the plunge now and join the community how did you find it being in the uk was it easy to join the meetings time wise etc…?? I really hope I can get to a place of acceptance like you one day x

[@onyerbike4713]

When I found this channel, I thought, hallelujah! Finally someone who confirms that nothing you do to "try" and sleep works. No meditation, no breathing exercises, no chamomile tea. Nothing. It's not just me!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So so glad to read these lines 😊! So happy you found your way here and 100%, we all in fact have some inner struggles, and many many have experienced what you have and left the struggle!

[@shariwithey2704]

Thank you so much for having me on the channel. It was so great to come on. When I first found the channel, I remember thinking "I hope I can tell my success story one day". I'm definitely still a work in progress, but I really hope to help others see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Recovery happens in the speedbumps, if you let it. Every speedbump is another chance to teach your brain a valuable lesson. I truly believe the sleep coach school has saved me so much suffering❤

[@shariwithey2704]

@Nina Situm I worked with a few. Mainly coach Alina and Coach Michelle. They were both absolutely amazing. ❤ And to answer your other question, no I don't take any meds now. I don't do anything to go to sleep. Just like before insomnia

[@shariwithey2704]

@Nina Situm I sleep absolutely fine most nights. I still have the odd night where the anxiety pops back, but it's nothing like before. I don't track how many hours I sleep. But It's probably around 7 hours, sometimes more sometimes less. Just totally normal. I do still think about sleep a little bit but it's more just like remembering a memory now. It's not like I'm stuck in the struggle any more. I'm not obsessing or thinking of ways that I can get more sleep. Befriending wakefulness really helped me. I started to just use my time awake to do something nice. I also think it really helped to try to live as if Insomnia didn't exist. After all, it only exists in our imaginations.

[@AyeshaKhan-q9s]

@@shariwithey2704 Hi, So you said Insomnia only exists in our imagination but it does bring with it a lot of fatigue and exhaustion. Also did you go through these thoughts, “I’ll always struggle with insomnia” “This won’t ever get better”?

[@shariwithey2704]

@user-zq4dj9ph3k hello, yes of course it does bring so much exhaustion and worry, but i ment if you could forget today that you ever had insomnia, then you wouldn't be thinking about it, so it wouldn't exist. The physical symptoms that come with insomnia are definitely real. But as we go through this recovery process they fade away. I definitely had the same kind of thoughts, and just so you know those thoughts came back every time I had a speedbump, but they are just part of the recovery journey and will also fade away with time. Hope this helps 🙂

[@leafsleafsleafs2]

​Shari your story is very encouraging. Can I ask how long this process took you? @@shariwithey2704

[@adamleonard4141]

I'm only just starting out on my recovery journey and these testimonies are encouraging. It feels like rock bottom at the moment but I hope by learning from others I can overcome this monster. I wish I had found this community earlier

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So glad you found your way here Adam, hang in there and let us know how things go.

[@55Porter]

One encouraging thing I see with these testimonials is that many of the people who have suffered with insomnia seem to be healthy looking and attractive in spite of their sleeping issues. It gives hope that it doesn't have all the negative effects on your health and appearance that many of these "sleep nazis" who insist "you must get 8 hours or else" say will happen. Of course having that threat hanging over your head doesn't help with sleep issues AT ALL.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

You’re soo right, that fear of health issues or just that we will not look well, it creates so much pressure - and for no valid reason. We have a series here called Heard online where we see that there’s no evidence that insomnia causes any health issues, and that it’s normal to sleep way less than 8 hours. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here 😊

[@55Porter]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thanks for the info. Keep up the great work! 👍

[@janinekay]

Gosh these recovery stories are comforting… my insomnia is no way as bad as it was back in august 2022 when I was having zero sleep most nights , just the worst hyper arousal and palpitations feeling so depressed the next day .. and like Shari.. I have tried ridiculous things rituals etc that have not worked 😢becoming super obsessed with it. I’m still a work in progress and have recently started taking fluoxetine but I think that will help too with my menopause journey .. we shall see . I’m not as panicky in the night.. and I know this couldn’t care less attitude seems to be the thing .. however easier said than done 😢

[@shariwithey2704]

I'm still a work in progress, too. I think we all are in some way, shape, or form. And I totally agree that not caring is definitely easier said than done. In fact, not caring at all is probably impossible. I just feel less interested in solving insomnia. Even when speedbumps come up here and there I'm just not so bothered I guess. Hope this helps❤

[@shannonglover5444]

It's definitely easier said than done. I've had some really tough days where I've cried for sure. Just felt hopelessness. I'm having a lot better nights than I was but that fear doesn't leave so easily.

[@shariwithey2704]

@Shannon Glover oh the amount of times I've cried 😢 Your right the fear takes a long time to fade away. Even for me now there's still a bit of residual fear. But I'm wayyy more ok with fear being around that I was before. It does take practice.

[@janinekay]

❤yes it so helps Shari and Shannon hearing this… in the midst of it when it first started I felt like jumping into the canal down which is around the corner.. it’s a positive notion to compare now with then and know I’m not like that anymore however is still get the racing heart quite a lot but wondering if my new meds may help with that when they kick in as I have mood swings too from being onset menopausal which is also horrid … I’ve got to a time in my life when I’ll do anything to sort myself out but not the silly stuff… like yourself Shari I too started cbti and thought what is this all about ?so strict causing me more anxiety 😟 it really helps to share thanks lovely ladies -

[@jenniferjones6542]

Great episode! Lovely to hear someone from the UK too👋🏻

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So glad you found it 😊

[@DaveG-qd6ug]

Very inspirational thank you both!!🥰

[@bayapapaya-]

Thank you so much for the work you are doing. I felt like I was the only person in the world having zero sleep. It got so bad that I had to talk with my job and start coming in at noon rather than 8am. Honestly felt like a failure for doing that. I work at a drs office and they are concerned ordering bloodwork for me. I finally have HOPE❤

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Anytime, a comment like this is the gas that keeps the tank always full 😊

[@AyeshaKhan-q9s]

Hi How’s your sleep now?

[@AidaDeRose-cv3oj]

Shari!! I am so happy to hear your story :) All is good on my side!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So so glad to read these lines 🤗

[@traceyvance8032]

Another great video ❤

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So glad you saw it 😊

[@Sarahd1324]

Great story and love hearing these. I’m still in the heat of my struggle despite being in the school now a few weeks. I’m one of those that’s tried quite a few sleep meds and is afraid to get off them completely because of the string of 3-4 completely sleepless nights they’ll likely bring (I’m only maybe getting 1-3 hours with them though most nights). When I can’t fall asleep I usually stay in bed and do nothing. My heart feels like it’s beating too fast and despite trying to “accept it”, sleep doesn’t come. I wonder if I’d be better off watching TV or reading when they happens, I’ve yet to ever get up from bed and do anything else. I’d also love to know how long you were on the antidepressant before stopping? Thanks for sharing your story!

[@shariwithey2704]

Getting out of bed and doing something I enjoy has definitely been a game changer for me. At first I found it scary but now I find it so much easier to just get out of bed and watch TV. Sometimes I stayed in bed and watched TV aswell. But it's all about the intention. I never try to befriend wakefulness with the intention of getting to sleep. I do it with the intention of just doing something nicer than laying there suffering. I took the antidepressants for less than a week. Sleep meds I took for around 2 weeks I think. Not long at all. I was relying more on alcohol and sleepy tea 🤣

[@shariwithey2704]

@Nina Situm mine started off with health anxiety and yeah I suppose I did feel quite stressed. I don't think it matters what caused it though. I'm just so thankful that I found this channel 🙌

[@shariwithey2704]

@Nina Situm It's definitely all anxiety. It's just anxiety that we won't sleep, which then results in not sleeping. It takes time but honestly I'm fine now. You will be too.

[@melissasanpablo3493]

​@@Freydis_MAximus Hi Nina! How are you now?

[@coco-cabanak.7160]

I liked her video, cause i saw that she had same problems like me when she couldn't sleep. She couldn't work and had hardly social life. I hope, i am some day free from my many years of insomnia 😢

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi coco-cabana, so glad you found it and you know, education can help so much. Hope you find much here that leads to peaceful sleep

[@AyeshaKhan-q9s]

Hi How is your sleep now

[@coco-cabanak.7160]

@@AyeshaKhan-q9s hey, still not so good. but i know it has something to do with fear, cause i have a very low sleep quality if i have to get up early or if i sleep somewhere else, or if someone is sleeping in same room like me.and on the other days i still sleep not enough: i have problems to fall asleep, and wake up several times during night and i get up too early. And i can't never nap during day, no matter how tired i am. It's so hard to let go when the fear is subconscious. The body runs a programme that it has learned for several years, like:" the night is a danger and I have to be careful. I must not switch off."I think if you haven't had insomnia for a long time, it will be easier for you to reprogram your brain. In my case, there are so many layers of anxiety around sleep that I don't know how to deal with it.but I am convinced that the information from this chanel is the right way to go.👌👍

[@zincerish]

Another question, I've always had an obsessive personality and now it's obsessed with not sleeping. Would a medication that helps with making me less obsessed like an OCD med help make my sleep issues less of a problem? Any advice from anyone?

[@shannonglover5444]

I have a bit of that pure "O" brain myself. What has been helping me during the day for all of my intrusive thoughts is to remain very neutral towards them and then let them sit there and they go away. So if I get an initial spike of anxiety from a thought, I go, "Ok." Then allow the thought to be there without challenging it, ruminating or adding more thoughts to it. Then it slowly fades out and I continue with what I was doing. It definitely takes practice.

[@shariwithey2704]

I had lots of thoughts very similar to this. I felt bombarded by these types of ideas. I thought that because I have a bit of an ocd type of personality that somehow this was really causing the insomnia. I really believe that insomnia is enough to scare the life out of anyone, regardless of whatever type of personality they have. Anyone who experiences insomnia like we have is bound to become obsessed. It's just our problem solving brains working super well.

[@dodgdurango6128]

Lithium has been amazing for my situation. my ocd has dissipated and my rituals are gone. I’m not caring about sleep anymore. insomnia is still horrible but it’s helping 😭

[@shannonglover5444]

@@dodgdurango6128 like the prescription lithium?

[@dodgdurango6128]

@@shannonglover5444 yes. Lithium even helps with sleep deprivation symptoms in some patients. its really helpful especially if you have hypomania.

[@zincerish]

I have a question, I've dealing with this for a few months now and I've tried multiple meds that sometimes work and sometimes don't. I'm now taking nothing but could the meds have caused any long term rewiring to make sleep even harder now to achieve then when my sleep issues first started? I just want affirmation that no physical damage has occurred to the brain from taking those sleep meds. Anyone have experience with that?

[@shariwithey2704]

Hi, to me this just sounds like your brain on autopilot giving you these thoughts and ideas that you've broken your sleep by taking the meds. Obviously I'm not a doctor or anything, but I hope to give some reassurance that your sleep can't be broken. Its a natural function of the body and there's nothing you can do to brake your sleep. The only thing that stands in the way is fear of not sleeping. Once you work on that fear and learn to be ok with wakefulness then sleep returns. Hope this helps😊

[@shariwithey2704]

@Teresa Hoang Not at all. The only thing blocking sleep is the fear of not sleeping. Your brains just keeping you awake because it thinks being awake is a threat.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Ed, there’s no evidence that medication can harm our sleep system… what can be harmed is our faith in it, which then can look like something is wrong with us. But when we know we’re just anxious, and we learn and the anxiety fades, then we can see nothing was wrong and we sleep well

[@kellyvanderbel8751]

The school she joined was this the immunity program ?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Kelly, yes she was in the Immunity program.

[@dallas41891]

Do you not recommend Martin reed?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Martin is great (!) and a personal friend 😊 Highly recommend him. But what matters most is to find a teacher that you resonate with. Everyone who understands sleep like Martin will say the same thing, just in slightly different ways, which is so great because then anyone looking for coaching can find a good fit 👍

[@dallas41891]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 okay I'm glad to hear that! I was concerned that since he did cbti that you wouldn't recommend him

[@SallyBrennan-vz6cv]

Is it not possible to do a 1:1 coaching session with coach Alina now?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Sally, I think she does have 1:1 calls via her own website, check it out! You can google sleep coach Alina and you’ll find it

[@janinekay]

Also just to point out .. hey Shari.. good to hear an English accent or is it welsh ? Im from Manchester, England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 😅 even tho Daniel I love your American accent ! .. it’s soothing !

[@shariwithey2704]

Yes Welsh 😊

[@AndrB7]

I'm from Wigan (Just saying) 😊

[@melissasanpablo3493]

Hi Shari, would like to know how did you handle 0/sleepless nights? Found your story resonated with me so well 😊

[@AyeshaKhan-q9s]

Hi How’s your sleep now?

[@melissasanpablo3493]

@@AyeshaKhan-q9s still struggling but slightly improved. How about you?

[@RockySharma-jo9hs]

Hey. How are you now?

[@dodgdurango6128]

Mine is so bad that everyone around me, including my doctors think I’m bipolar. Edit: is there a point where watching videos about insomnia becomes a bad thing to do

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi, I get this question often and I’d say whenever we are learning, it’s fine. When there’s nothing more to learn, we naturally become disinterested and start tuning out 🙂

[@dodgdurango6128]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you for the reply. I’m still having a hard time with my bipolar diagnosis, especially because i noticed it as insomnia at first. it never made sense till I realized I was taking piano Lessons, starting degrees, driving to random cities, that I might be bipolar. but over time I started worrying less about sleep and still haven’t slept more. guess that makes way for mania.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Anytime, and hang in there! Let us know how things go

[@dodgdurango6128]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 doing so much better on hydroxizine Pam!