Kids being sheer chaos for 5 minutes 20 seconds

Kudos to my girlfriend for letting me snap some of her treasured watercolour pencils to get the sound of splintered celebrity spine at 5:17 💀

[@RingRhino]

I would unironically watch a ten hour video of matt just staring into the camera.

[@Disbanded9998]

no you wouldnt

[@1Kismet768]

@@Disbanded9998 yes he would

[@CharlottePlusCake]

Fr😂😂

[@takashiari1598]

Knowing him, he'd probably actually do it.

[@Mrshoujo]

Don't Encourage Him!

[@GPhipps]

Motives aside, the baker did a phenomenal job on that Mufasa cake.

[@princesspixel3151]

I’d say it’s such a genius idea for a kid to to ask that so they could have the cake all to themselves… then again, I’m not too sure about the parents about that (Think of the parents!)

[@robinrehlinghaus1944]

Where can I see it?

[@Arakus99]

​@@robinrehlinghaus1944at 3:21 in the video

[@turnerIott]

@@princesspixel3151imagine the child sees it and is too sad to eat their own cale

[@robinrehlinghaus1944]

@@Arakus99 Ah, thanks, I must have overlooked it somehow

[@alchemy5750]

The kid who drew "Hulk smashes the Kardashians" has a better sense of humour than half of Hollywood writers

[@youraftermyrobotbee]

Y'all believe that obviously fake shit 💀

[@MezephelesArt]

​@@youraftermyrobotbeeYou'd be surprised what kids can pick up from their parents watching TV.

[@turbotoka9426]

True

[@nintendofan_64]

Thought it was something else💀

[@viridia1526]

@@youraftermyrobotbeeidk seems like something a kid would do in my experience

[@SpammingY]

"Married for 72 whole minutes, yay" Kid done went and nailed it

[@mistyonpawz164]

yy

[@Someone.southafrica]

ee

[@tigerlover2853]

yy

[@LovelyLara123]

Untitled Goose Game username and profile pic,nice

[@Dr.Freeman...]

honk

[@fuwafuwa2299]

I have not been doing well. That "Hulk smashes the Kardashians" comic was the first thing to make me absolutely laugh my ass off in weeks. That is just legendary

[@user-2137]

Hope you're doing fine, even tho this comment is like 5 months old now

[@yaky_thoughts34]

That's super wholesome, I genuily hope things get better for you. Sending all good vibes, someone on the internet cares!

[@yakamen]

6 months later comming across this --- hoping you're all right mate! Have a good one

[@-throat-]

Hope you’re doing better now!

[@LUNARRWC]

i hope you’re doing well !!

[@KassiusCalix]

When I was younger, my brother died. I was out of school for a while grieving. My teacher had the class all write some nice letters for me. I'll never forget the one that simply said "You'll see him soon." With a little drawing of what I can only assume was me ascending to heaven as an angel, with my brother waving down at me from a cloud. Still feel a little threatened to this day ngl.

[@princesspixel3151]

I honestly feel sorry for that kid because it was most likely good intentions. Childhood innocence can do that sometimes 😅

[@KassiusCalix]

@@princesspixel3151 She wound up killing her twin sister after we graduated high school.

[@MezephelesArt]

​@@KassiusCalixI'm going to hell for laughing but that was just such a quick escalation.

[@ohshitsadness7236]

​@@KassiusCalixayo what the fuck

[@shadowcatgamer2521]

@@KassiusCalix Logically, I know I shouldn't make jokes about this. Illogically, I think the next logical step is to find a way to contact her and send her a similar letter. With karma as context, it might feel even more threatening.

[@sovietunion7643]

That last one is the best ever. That kid is too funny with the ‘married for 72 whole minutes’ joke. That kid is the next big comedic genius

[@psyduckrules]

I disagree. I say the birthday cake one was the best thing here.

[@block827]

@@psyduckrulesits a tie

[@strawberrymoonphased]

I don't even know how a kid could come up with that 😭😂

[@wakkowarner5357]

@@psyduckrulesthe bday cake one was smart, but the comic was both smart and funny

[@OGFluffduck]

I guarantee “Hulk Smashes: The Kardashians” kid will be a world famous comedian. Or something. That kid has too much potential.

[@Lee-lm2bn]

Me and my friends would regularly play with Barbie dolls in Kindergarten and one time we wrapped the doll in cloth and digged up a hole outside, when the nursery teacher got curious and all we told her was " today is Barbie's funeral" 💀

[@eeyorehaferbock7870]

What did she die of?

[@randijohnson7573]

@eeyorehaferbock7870 most likely murder and/or arson

[@Teachmepleaseeee]

Bro y'all had a ken back then to mourn?

[@RKroese]

@@Teachmepleaseeee Ken doesn't mourn. Ken moves on to one of the hundred thousand other Barbies.

[@LeanAndMean44]

Literally skuhul emojiii

[@primalfeline]

“I just got married for 72 whole minutes” is the most accurate thing for a Kardashian to say. That kid’s a genius.

[@genegray9895]

It's fake

[@edgystuffretarkidnormcring330]

Starting to believe ppl had no personality until middle school. I have writing of stuff I did when I was child. 10yo me was mean af to the basic school bullies.

[@MezephelesArt]

@@genegray9895 What makes you say that? You'd be surprised what kids can pick up from their parents' televisions.

[@melissacooper8724]

I thought it was the best cartoon that kid ever drew! 😂

[@sporeham1674]

​@@genegray9895you were just just insanely boring kid

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

Ah, children. Here’s a direct quote from my aunt talking to my 5-year-old cousin: “If you wanted to play in the closet with the fancy clothes, you shouldn’t have buttered your brother.”

[@mewmewlunar]

...I misread "buttered" as "butchered" but honestly it still works either way.

[@thedestroyer342]

I misread buttered for battered lol

[@AceSpadespoken]

What happened??

[@ballstealer]

The fuck did your cousin do????

[@1ztype343]

​@@AceSpadespokenbutter

[@weresofansie1457]

My oldest sister has 5 kids, my third youngest sister has 2 kids, and my youngest sister is almost 17. I have a chaos story for Every single one of those children from within the past few years. But my favorite is actually closer to 10 years old (maybe more). My oldest Nephew was 4-ish (maybe younger) and he had recently gone to see wreck-it-Ralph in theaters. After his mother dislocated her kneecap, this toddler goes out to the garage, brings a hammer back, and holds it over his head shouting “I CAN FIX IT!” (Like Felix in Wreck-it-Ralph) Fortunately his father stopped him before that hammer caused any more damage.

[@Iwanttoblowmybrainsoutrn]

LMAO

[@CaitEden53]

PFFFT

[@BinglesP]

Tbf when I had carpel tunnel a couple months ago, I tried to keep snapping it back into place and stuff, before I realized what it was and that it wasn't doing anything

[@Minecraft_intermediate2023]

💀

[@yaky_thoughts34]

THATS SO FUNNY OMG

[@Zero_Moon_]

I did a lot of stupid/weird things as a kid, but here are just a few: I was probably like 3 and somehow managed to wrap myself up in a fluffy pink boa (like the scarf thing if that’s what it’s actually called-) and then continued to fall off of a barstool and, from what I remember, had to be taken to the hospital. I also once, at around age 5, drew a picture in a workbook for kindergarten of me popping my sister’s balloon on a cactus and smiling as she cried. I also: would pee outside on the ground when both of our bathrooms were occupied, stole a toy eagle from a daycare I was going to (why?), rode my scooter indoors, drew all over a map my dad had bought me, had a strong urge to chew on rubber pencil grips, would say absolute gibberish for no reason and out of nowhere, once ate paper (I think to prove a point or smth?), and whenever my dad would tell me about a celebrity, one of the first things I would ask was if they were dead. tldr, I was a weird kid

[@yoshepop]

I’m not the only one that chewed those pencil grips? :o

[@Ima_Door]

seems normal to me ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[@carpenterthehivewing]

I think you’re autistic

[@Iwanttoblowmybrainsoutrn]

SAME, one time I peed outside when I was like 7 or 8 in BROAD DAYLIGHT in the front lawn of my grandma's house💀 I have no idea why I did that lmao thank goodness there was no one outside bruh that was HELLA weird I used to also eat paper to prove to my brother that I can eat it and I did lmfao

[@tripplea_3338]

Dude, i still get an urge to chew on pencil grips.

[@CompletelyNormalHuman]

I love that Matt will NOT censor curse words, but would rather wait just so he can swear. Truly a man of integrity

[@CharlottePlusCake]

Yes😌

[@ps2bndled]

One of the few remaining 'unfiltered' creators out there. He won't give up anything that makes him himself without a fight.

[@Skellaton29]

It takes balls to rebel against tyranny (KZbin). He’s the definition of a gigachad.

[@pbjellysand]

just like the two kids would rather dig their graves than clean their room

[@DripDrangonhead]

He also unnecessarily spits them out,once he said shit emoji instead of the usual poop emoji

[@guardianofthehill]

Honestly, I find that short little "Hulk Smashes the Kardashians" comic strip to be absolutely hilarious. Just the fact that it starts out mocking the Kardashians for the banal, stupid and nigh cringeworthy events of their lives, including what I believe to be a shockingly apt joke about the shortness of celebrity marriages, only for it to then turn into the two Kardashians getting their bodies absolutely crushed by a Hulk that is very clearly fed up with having to listen to their pointless, idiotic conversations. The simple abrupt "END" at well, the end, also further aids the comic's message. The kid that drew this made their point, made their joke, and finished the comic at the exact perfect point for the joke to work. The kid that drew that little comic very clearly has a bright future as a satirist and cartoonist.

[@LobsterMobsterTheCrispiestLoaf]

Agreed 100%! It's unironically really good

[@cloudeight3887]

Should I redraw the whole comic?

[@pokefan006]

​@@cloudeight3887yes

[@quarterzillion]

​@@cloudeight3887 @me when you finish that, it'll be amazing

[@shrumi1133]

@@cloudeight3887Leaving a comment here so hopefully you’ll comment again when you do that, please do it! It sounds super fun.

[@garlandlevitan3050]

When I was a kid, I would try to demonstrate animals mating (using plastic animals) to my kindergarten classmates. The teacher called my parents, who later said that I probably watched too many nature documentaries. 😂

[@Jeriel_Lux]

Hell Yea to Captain Ravioli! I wanna start doing that at introductions. 😂 *"Hi I'm Jeriel but you can call me Commander Cheeseburger!"* 🍔

[@shanestrains548]

Hi I'm Shane but you Can call Me "PRIVATE PIZZA"

[@Jeriel_Lux]

@@shanestrains548 Cheese to Meet You Pvt! o7 🍕

[@snjert8406]

​@@shanestrains548hi I'm Anna but you can call me LASAGNA LEGEND

[@shanestrains548]

@@snjert8406 😂

[@thelonewolf7443]

Hi I’m *insert name here*, but you can call me “Saucy Spaghetti”! 🍝

[@Jadriam]

I once had a child I was babysitting ask me, sheepishly, for a slice of bread. I mistakenly said 'you don't have to be afraid to ask for bread, you can have bread if you want it.' A harmless request, you may imagine. I certainly thought that. ...He ate an entire bag. THE WHOLE BAG of sliced bread. I asked why and sure enough, the answer was 'you said I could have bread!' and that defeated me since I did in fact say that. No seasoning. Nothing else but the bread. He just sat with a loaf of plain sliced white bread, by itself, and ate all of it.

[@princesspixel3151]

Checkmate! 😂

[@wrightcember]

to be fair, i….have done the same exact thing, except with honey on every slice. i really like honey

[@Amy_the_Lizard]

I've done that! As an adult I prefer to sit and eat entire loaves of crusty bread though, like a nice sourdough or something, but I'd absolutely eat a loaf of sandwich bread as a kid

[@xyzzyx4839]

i have a cousin who, at every restaurant, without fail, eats enough free bread that he makes himself sick. and then keeps eating more bread. he is also completely aware that he is going to make himself sick, and does it anyway.

[@wrightcember]

@@xyzzyx4839 i respect your cousins motivation to the grind

[@Veniceeeeeeee]

looking at Matt staring at a camera for like 20 seconds was honestly the best part of my day

[@funguy3259]

yall are thirsty

[@l0b0t0myb0ner]

i was the 69th like LMAOO

[@CharlottePlusCake]

Yes✨✨✨

[@liastaob]

I so much wanted to give Bamboo pets

[@Toppy_From_Scratch]

Man it’s still morning where I live

[@Alium4060Obero]

4:03 *B i g J i m*

[@THSGC]

OMG DOG MAN OMG DOG MAN

[@Awsmoe-Cat-Drawing]

@@THSGC :D

[@kellyeah37]

big jim indeed

[@ThereforeTower]

as opposed to slim jim

[@TheLordOfBeans]

honestly, props to the among us kid. He's just trying to protect his family.

[@puffinpeddler2827]

That kid who drew the last comic is going places

[@thekarlkeeper8727]

I would pay good money for that drawing. Change my mind.

[@LobsterMobsterTheCrispiestLoaf]

Pure art

[@internetlurker1850]

Probably jail

[@callmecharlie4250]

it seems to be a series as well where hulk smashes something new every installment.

[@corndogboi]

WHAT WILL HULK SMASH NEXT? FIND OUT NEXT WEEK!

[@beek.4860]

4:08 reminds me of the time my first grade teacher had to explain to the class that no, "I'M SORRY YOU'RE POOR" was not an appropriate message to put in a Thanksgiving card for the homeless

[@asackboyplush6508]

I thought it was an ass

[@donpollo3154]

Just get a home lmao

[@JustYetAnotherHuman]

@@donpollo3154 They will. Perchance.

[@shyguy85]

​@@JustYetAnotherHumanyou can't just say perchance.

[@rosykindbunny1313]

​@@shyguy85Perchance

[@bitchwholikesrobots]

That hulk and the “kardashiens” comic is unironically amazing

[@Maerahn]

That last kid has a very bright future ahead of him as a comic writer! I want more of his stuff!

[@PeanutButterJellyBelle]

My little sister has the amazing ability of having the kind of thoughts that you would expect from someone who’s high, while barely knowing what drugs are. One time she asked me, "how do dishes breathe in the dishwasher?" 💀💀💀

[@Antifearn]

Idk, but it’s definitely not the same way clothes breathe when they are in the washing machine.

[@humanhuman5024]

They don’t breath they just stare at you with its shining reflection and the more you stare the more you notice it’s a reflection a reflection of yourself. Another self. A self that is better. So basically if you go in the dishwasher so you will become a better reflection of yourself.

[@j.r1466]

​@@humanhuman5024instructions unclear Got myself stuck in the dishwasher

[@iamrightoutsideyourwindowhello]

@@j.r1466 Step 1: Materialise your step-brother back into reality

[@stuffyouwithexplosives]

​@@iamrightoutsideyourwindowhello oh for fuckd sahe

[@awenrose4765]

I refused to eat tofu as a child because I thought people were saying "toe food" so I thought you either had to eat it with your toes, or it was made from human toes. When I saw kids in preschool eating it with their fingers at snack time, I deducted that the second option was the more probable one. I spent most of that year thinking that almost all my classmates, and their parents, were cannibals. Edit: I meant deduced not deducted y’all idk how I didn’t catch that 😭

[@awenrose4765]

That same year I think, possibly the year after, I wanted a realistic dinosaur cake. And I was very picky. I wanted an exploding volcano, I wanted my dinosaurs and trees, and something I was very very picky about was I wanted dinosaur poop. It HAD. To have. The poop. It wouldn't be historically accurate if we just ignored the fact that dinosaurs pooped. So they put dinosaur toys on it, as I requested, and put chocolate chips under a few of them. I was very happy.

[@GenyaIs4merican]

IM SSORRY BUT I CANT STOP LAUGHING "Toe food" AND "Dinosaur poop"

[@bananabuttersomethin]

I want to know where you grew up where all your preschool classmates were eating tofu

[@awenrose4765]

@@bananabuttersomethin lol we had parent volunteers bring lunch and snacks and things, and this one parent volunteer would always bring us snacks and it was basically almost always tofu, homemade too I believe

[@bananabuttersomethin]

@@awenrose4765 And the kids ATE it? Incredible. I must know this parent's secrets.

[@LemonadeStand618]

The parsley thing reminds me of when I said there was a marijuana in the sink at school. All the teachers were super concerned, and they were actually *disappointed* that it was just wet lettuce.

[@S4BRINA_0N_PAWS_666]

That kid with the Mufasa cake is an evil genius that may or may not grow up to be an supervillian. Also that at the end made me laugh my ass off.

[@transatlanticnostalgia4655]

Okay, but the kid who asked for a Mufasa cake just so she could have it all to herself is a pure evil genius. This is a true villain origin story.

[@philipphalter926]

"They called me a madman"

[@Ali-mv3jc]

I recently got a similar cake for my cousin because when she was a little kid she would scream whenever the train went behind my grandmas house because she thought it was a stampede that would kill mufasa, so she would scream "MUFASA" every 45 minutes for a while year

[@philipphalter926]

@@Ali-mv3jc sounds... traumatizing

[@ch3rr1p1r4t3]

​@@Ali-mv3jcWHAT.

[@turtlepack2023]

Sounds like that kid already had her origin story, and is now starting her grand career!

[@MintySynth]

This man is like the evil twin of Morgan Freeman, being a soothing narrator for literally anything, yet somehow every word he speaks makes me feel like he's plotting to poison my drink

[@The_Sleepiest_Socialist]

It’s the pitch of voice.

[@birdsquad3939]

Your comment makes me feel like you’d enjoy the game “The Stanley Parable.” The entire game is just a soothingly voiced yet very threatening narrator guiding you around an infinite loop in an office building. It’s very fun, I absolutely recommend it!!

[@R4YBVNS]

SKULL EMOJIIIIII 💀

[@CoraCreates]

@@birdsquad3939Agreed, I highly recommend it as well.

[@Ender3264]

​@@birdsquad3939 "Stanley entered the door on the..."

[@Limestone707]

2:11 Minecraft survival mode gamers be like:

[@archiermanilo23]

Honestly, having your kids put pepperoni in your wedding purse is a perfect metaphor for life and growing up

[@SatyrToon]

*Things I've Done/Said As A Kid* - Made the two-legged dinosaur toys ride the four-legged dinosaur toys and couldn't understand why my parents told me not to do that. -Said "Once you go black, you never go back" thinking it meant going GOTH. -Told a girl I would bite her. She told me to do it. So I bit her. Then she told the teacher on me and I could not FATHOM why I was getting in trouble if she told me to do it. -Liked to pretend to be a horse, but I didn't want to run around on my hands and didn't want to be a two-legged horse so I used two sticks that I would hold in my hands to act as the front legs. To be fair, it actually sounded like horse hooves in grass and was probably good cardio. -Thought that the bathroom was sound-proof and would sing my little heart out while I was going to the bathroom. I heard my mom talking to a neighbor about it one day and I NEVER DID IT AGAIN. My mom was disappointed. -Told people I liked beer. My mom kept trying to correct me and say "No, ROOT beer. ROOT BEER." I INSISTED that it was the same thing and refused to call it root beer for years. -Wrote what I thought were curse words on my closet wall with sharpie. Before we moved out of the house, I found the scrawls again and it was GIBBRISH which baffled me because I COULD READ AND WRITE WHEN I WROTE THEM. I could not wrap my head around these scribbles NOT being what I thought I wrote. -Accidentally turned the stove on, but didn't know how to turn it off. When it got really hot, I began to fill cups with water and dump them on the burners. - I was hospitalized due to a severe intestinal infection that badly dehydrated me when I was three or four. I can't remember what lead to it because a lot of that hospital visit has been blacked out of my memory for some reason, but I kicked a doctor in the face. I distinctly remember that and the fact that my little brain thought he deserved it. -We were in the car while my mom was talking to some family, getting ready to leave their house. My mom was feet away. My sister got out of her seat and managed to put the car into nuetral somehow. We started to roll backwards and a friend of my aunt ran and jumped into the driver's seat and stopped the car. I slapped him, though, and believe that he was EVIL for NOT LETTING US ROLL INTO THE STREET. I was four. I can't even remember my thought process. I just remember him jumping into the driver's seat and me thinking "This man is BAD." -Got a running start and head-butted my uncle's shin. I have no idea why. -Threw a baseball bat in Gym class in kindergarden and it hit my gym teacher in the shin. It left a MASSIVE bruise. The bruise itself cleared up, but we never saw the slight discoloration left behind go away. It was there for YEARS and STILL THERE the last time I saw her. She knew me from Kindergarden to 5th grade.

[@Itz_Dark_YT]

I read the whole thing

[@C1-wz9jj]

@@Itz_Dark_YTMe too, shows 4 - 9 y/o are stupid.

[@Xiga1980]

@@Itz_Dark_YTme too

[@L1MBO12]

Dang did the gym teacher hold a grudge against you for the rest of your time in elementary?

[@voodoo8913]

damm, i just got beat.

[@Freshlydeliveredegg]

2:30 that kid grew up to be Johnny cage

[@COVERSAI150]

No he grew up to be Mike Primavera

[@proletariennenaturiste]

That "time's almost up one" is absurdly humorous.

[@serioushex3893]

i've been helping my friend around the house while she's recovering from surgery. I put on the last video, about the warning label translations, and she loved it, but couldn't watch any more until she's healed because she's afraid of ripping her stitches from laughing too hard. So good job matt, you're funny enough to nearly cause a medical emergency.

[@Mat5881]

This is somewhat dangerous, but it must also be 10x more flattering than risky. Also, I hope she recovered well, I'll send in a bit of love for the both of you two.

[@swan_flute12]

I can relate

[@Adharcaiin]

I dont know if to take this as a complement for matt or insult help-

[@fenexus404]

next time, we need to cause one :)

[@Phoeeebs]

When I got a couple bad molars pulled (by honestly the worst dentists ever.) I decided that during recovery I was gonna have a "MattRoseathon" and actually did pop a stitch in my mouth from laughing. I wanna say it was the misspelled atheist one.

[@pikathemimikyu6655]

Worse thing I ever did as a kid: My mom and I were drawing in a "mom and me" workbook. We had to draw what animal we thought each other was. My mom drew a nice animal for me, like a bunny or something. I drew her as a snake. My poor mom ran out crying. Before you hate on little me, the reason I drew her as a snake was because I had remembered that a kid in my kindergarten class a few days earlier had told me that mommy snakes carry their eggs in their mouth to keep them safe. I was trying to compliment how good of a mom I thought she was 🥲🥲 I was horrified and confused at how upset she was.

[@SpectacleSpark]

LMFAOOOOOOO

[@rachelcookie321]

She started crying straight away with asking her child what it meant? I assume you are quite young so you probably wouldn’t of understood th E negative connotation to snakes at that age. A lot of kids think snakes are cool so I would assume it was a compliment.

[@pikathemimikyu6655]

@rachelcookie321 yeah, she was taken off guard. She's rather emotional, so she got really upset right away. She probably should have asked what I meant because I was so young. I locked the mommy and me book away out of fear of how upset I made her 😭 I felt guilty because I also drew the snake down because I thought snakes were the loudest animals, and my mom was rather loud sometimes. I thought that's what had offended her. I didn't mean it as an insult at the time 😅 we pretended the whole thing never happened until last year when she brought it up, and I finally explained myself 😂😂

[@fotisk-sg2sh]

excuse me did you forget snakes have fucking venom in them back then?

[@pikathemimikyu6655]

@@fotisk-sg2sh I was 5 I didn't know that

[@bl7240]

It starts out slow but watching the question "Who would win, the hulk or the Kardashians?" play out really brought it all together.

[@jacewarbeck9684]

I once showed off to a class in first school my Sumo technique (You know the one, where they grab their legs and move one leg up and down in a prone position) I lifted one leg and absolutely blasted ass in front of everyone. Everyone laughed. No it wasn't intentional.

[@Antifearn]

When I was 4, my mom took me to the butterfly house one day and let me wander around the garden while she sat down for a minute. A minute passed, and one of the butterfly caretakers ran up to my mom panicking because I kept asking all of the other adults around me if they had fly swatters. Apparently little me wanted to swat the butterflies so I could take them home and create a framed diorama like the one my Grandmother had. My mom always reminds me of this story because it’s one of her favorites, even though I have no recollection of me being that violent to animals when I was a kid.

[@notnullnotvoid]

You've landed in The Good Timeline where you didn't become a serial killer (yet).

[@ric6611]

@@notnullnotvoid Says you

[@PsychicIsaacs]

When I was about 8 years old, I wanted to collect butterflies as a scientific study. I asked my mother for a cyanide kill jar, such as the ones that professional entomologists use to kill their bugs and she denied me this request. At the time I thought she was being terribly unfair…

[@rainpooper7088]

I actually collected bugs as a kid, except my dad made sure it was ethical. Once I found a spider that had just caught a butterfly, so I asked dad if the butterfly was game since the spider was the one who killed it. He said I could take it once the spider dropped it, so I spent four hours waiting for this little crab spider to finish lunch. I was kind of a psychopath towards bugs I didn't want to collect though. I always fed ants to the ant lions in my grandma's yard because I wanted to see what they looked like.

[@NoriMori1992]

I mean I wouldn't call that being violent, you just had a perfectly normal end goal (having a butterfly collection like your grandma) that to your knowledge could only be achieved by violent means.

[@MrTryHardC]

That last bit was starting out like a normal satire comic a kid would make (and a pretty good one at that) and just devolved into the funniest thing I've seen all week

[@coolgamerboi717]

3:25 "it will be all for meeeeee" got dam funniest moment in the video 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Veecy]

If I had a three-year-old kid who came up with that Mufasa plan, I would be so proud. Maybe too proud.

[@Renfeng4]

When I was a child I used to convince the younger kids at school that there were actual ghosts at school and would start charging them for "protection" against the spirits. I got in trouble multiple times for spirit related fear mongering.

[@trashAndNoStar]

Did you end up becoming a politician now? 😬

[@xyzzyx4839]

i feel like you accidentally invented a religion except it's like what a religion would be if it were started by televangelists

[@yeeteater51]

bro is creating his own demand in a selling point that doesnt exist

[@millopodia]

people who charge you to keep your soul safe be like:

[@lesigh3410]

Elementary school protection racket

[@alextheasparagus6675]

When I was 8 years old or something me and my friend Malin had just discovered that you could draw on the asphalt with old pieces of roof tile (that her family had laying around for some reason), so we were drawing figures and writing our names on her driveway. Then she got the brilliant idea of trying it on other surfaces as well, and suddenly her dads company car got the name MALIN etched into its hood with big letters. Another friend tried to make perfume out of curry powder and put it into his own bag. It smelled like curry for years.

[@stef987]

Oh, the last one made me remember the time when another kid said that spinach was made out of duckweed, so I later went to a little stream next to our neighbourhood (which was quite countrysidish) with a genius idea in mind: to collect "wet spinach" from the stream and hang it on the twigs of bushes and trees to let it dry. I think I even meant to sell it or something. But I somehow abandonded it after a while.

[@Keznen]

@stef987 Well duckweed _is_ edible.

[@princessthyemis]

Ooooh nooo!!!!! His car! Omggg! He must have been livid!!😱😱

[@stef987]

@@Keznen ah, that's good to know! Plus I found out that there actually is something called "water spinach". So the idea might not have been total fantasy at least (I thought it probably was just a dumb joke an adult in the other child's family once made). Though I am not sure whether it really was just duckweed in that stream. To be honest, it did look kind of disgusting... but I don't want to be too picky here.🤷‍♀️

[@stef987]

@@princessthyemis the company car!😬

[@theflickchick9850]

I think the kid with the Lion King cake is on the wrong subreddit. He is not stupid. He is brilliant.

[@SlyHikari03]

3:05 the neighbor's kid's sleepover games be like:

[@nmac101]

When I was 5, my teacher gave us a sheet of exercises, and one of them was an illustration of a water bottle under a table and a kid looking for it, and the question "Where is the water bottle?". My smart ass answered "Hiding for its life". My teacher actually counted it right.

[@electricfishfan7159]

Oh, I read this as, “in 5th grade,” and I was more concerned about why you were doing such a bad assignment

[@ursidae97]

Your teacher sounds wonderful

[@KIFFLOM_IS_PEACE]

@@electricfishfan7159 American schools am i right *Turns out he isn't american-*

[@hieravian268]

When I was a kid I had a chesty cough, right? The one that sounds like you're coughing into a trumpet. Well. Little me, no older than six, in all their youthful innocence, when taken to the pharmacist loudly announced they had a 'Horny Cough'. The memory haunts me to this day. I could not understand why my parents and the pharmacist were laughing - "it sounds like a horn!" I tried to explain. Years later, I reobtained this memory, and finally understood 💀

[@radioanon4535]

Asthma attack every time you pop a hard on

[@thekavehfanatic]

....oh

[@ghoulbuster1]

xD

[@Turkeybirdlover]

​@@thekavehfanaticReally it is really a cool joke you probably look good

[@LilAnonomus]

My parents like to joke about the time I got separated from my dad at a ski resort (he was like 10 feet away) and I asked some lady for help and when she asked what my dad looked like I said "well um, he has skin" I was trying to describe his face stubble

[@ruadeil_zabelin]

2:35 Stranger danger was probably the worst campaigns that was ever ran. Because not only this happened, but it also taught kids that going with a neighbour or uncle is completely fine... because theyre not strangers.

[@LyrRAHHHhH.47]

*The last one just existing* Poor producers: “WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THaT DOWN!”

[@babowasalwayshere]

I love how you can often find a fairly simplistic line of logic to explain children's actions, for instance the kids that put fur from the hairy cat onto the hairless cat (they deduced likely that the cat was bald but shouldn't be, and so took the excess hair and put it on the cat so it 'matches'). Or the kid who said his mother's favorite food was piss--likely misspelling pizza. But then there are other kids where it's like.. you can't find the logic. You can't possibly fathom why they would have ever done what they did, no matter how hard you think about it and even if you asked them to explain, you'd likely not understand the answer. Such as the kid who named their shape hot dog.

[@janrafaelyrigoyen7433]

He likely thought "name the shape" literally meant name the shape so... get a better example

[@babowasalwayshere]

@@janrafaelyrigoyen7433 Perhaps I wasn't clear, because I know that much. I meant where he got the specific name "hot dog" from. Rather than 'Bob' or 'Jeffery', or something that you would use as a name. I could do without the rudeness, have a nice day.

[@ChuckSploder]

Oh, look how cute! It's a mother f*** and her f***lings!

[@janrafaelyrigoyen7433]

@@babowasalwayshere 1: i just read that last part about me being rude and i apologize, i did not mean to be rude 2: He probably thought something like: "Hmm that shape is not a person so i can call him whatever i want"

[@babowasalwayshere]

@@janrafaelyrigoyen7433 I appreciate the apology. And yes, maybe that's what happened. Sometimes the truth is children don't use logic at all. There's a weird blend of simplistic logic and just... none at all. Probably best not to think too hard on it.

[@antagonizingprotagonist8721]

I used to give things to my little sister for her to hide around the house to annoy my mom. Eventually she started doing it on her own with increasingly weird things like tampons and lids to things. One time, she hid about 20 pepperonis in all sorts of places. It took us the next year to find them all, and we still don't know how many she hid.

[@psyduckrules]

That’s hilarious.

[@ostrich_man_haha_funny]

Theres still one last pepperoni, you'll never know where...

[@ghoulbuster1]

Peperoni secret

[@tatteryt]

Peperoni secret

[@The_FnafFan]

Peperoni secret (is this a chain now)

[@judet2992]

THE END KILLED ME 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Rickardo_Astley]

This video almost ended me of laughter especially 0:48

[@OtakuUnitedStudio]

That ending was cinematic. Also, that kid is going places when they grow up.

[@ihavepressence2666]

The crunch of the Kardashian’s spines as hulk squeezes his fist as hard as he can followed by the comically loud “end” is the funniest voiceover of any comic strip ever

[@happy_dog]

I was about to say this. But also was looking for it. That legit killed me. ' I just got a taaann' ' I just got married for 72 whole minutes ' "Yaaaaaayyy" **choke** **snap** ÆND When I tell you I was dying of laughter for legit minutes

[@chloskyskies4399]

@@happy_dogbeautiful retelling

[@aquastartv1895]

that's the world's greatest comic dub ever in the history of ever.

[@weiner01103]

the hulk one had me DYING LMAO

[@senperj.williams1664]

5:10 this sounds like a sam o'nella skit.

[@giantpinkcat]

My brother is a partially verbal autistic child and can quite literally only speak in quotes he sees in kid shows/nursery rhymes. One time when I was a kid, I insulted him and he pointed to me, shouted "It's a cow!", and sang Old McDonald. I have never been able to recover to this very day.

[@abbyelectric]

that is an extremely clever use of limited vocabulary.

[@bullymaguire1087]

What a chad

[@Liams-tech471]

That kid is a friggin legend Edit :OMG how did I get so many likes on this? Thank you everyone

[@Zarmdthecoolest]

This reminds me of a post I saw about someone's uncle Matt, who was also autistic but fully non-verbal. Whenever someone gave him a t-shirt or something with a bad texture, he would go get scissors and cut it up into tiny shreds. I'm so, so proud to share a disorder with these people and I'm not joking

[@_Gam3r]

go cut up some t shirts now@@Zarmdthecoolest

[@melon64_]

The kid asking about the screwdriver in the sink just brought a new layer of stress on their poor mom

[@Luzisaustralian]

Why is everything funnier when a middle-aged British man says it

[@_-NatureMations-_]

The dead bee one though 😭😭 That kid needs some help

[@utterlycynthia]

When I was a little girl, I used to gouge out the eyes of my dolls. Eventually, I would also rip out their limbs and heads and have them scattered around the house. In one family photograph, I was about three years old with the head of a doll dangling from my fist, like some evil witch after a ritual sacrifice. No one found it creepy at the time but when I reveal to anyone now, they are mortified.

[@youronlyjessy_wessy.]

🌝

[@poopooHeaddodger64]

as a porcelain doll collector,this is my worst nightmare

[@utterlycynthia]

I'm sure my folks wouldn't have been so nonchalant about my weird habit if I did that with porcelain collectibles!

[@mgthestrange9098]

This could be a Toy Story horror film.

[@MezephelesArt]

While looking through a box of stuff I had as a kid, I saw a drawing of a bee wearing boots on each of its six legs and _spelling out_ the words "clown shoes" (as in, saying "C-L-O-W-N S-H-O-E-S") several times. This was captioned with "DAD, in his true form". I cannot for the _life_ of me figure out what I meant, and if I had one chance to use a time machine, let's just say I'd not hedge my bets on being able to kill Hitler when I could get answers instead.

[@sauerkids9254]

dad's truest form

[@MezephelesArt]

​@@tBagley43This explains a very small amount of it, but an amount of it nonetheless.

[@funnymannotfunny]

biblically accurate dad

[@sauerkids9254]

Why is finale playing

[@ytk2508]

Holy shit your dad is secretly Buck Bumble?

[@Thatguy-rc2ei]

The faint hulk squish. It’s beautiful

[@maddieplays418]

I will never get tired of your voice.

[@dogemanbacon]

3:20 Y'all that cake has scratch marks on it that trail down, the cake artist DEFINITELY had an absolute blast making this.

[@UnpatternedGarbage]

How could you NOT have fun making a cake like that?

[@Kaidrawsstuff]

You best believe if a little kid asked me go do this I'm adding every little detail and making it look perfect cause how could you not😭?

[@vbg4372]

I absolutely adored the "Hulk Smashes the Kardashians" because of how perfectly it represents the two, just for their lives to get unexpectedly cut from the Hulk literally snapping their spinal cords. Honestly, I think it should win every single Oscar they give out simply because of how mind-blowing this little skit is.

[@ilovemyboyfriend5]

Matt is such a vibe🤣🙏🏼

[@allys744]

I don’t know what’s more chaotic: the kids in their stories or Matt’s enthusiastic delivery 🤣✋

[@ctelled7591]

As a former kid i relate

[@zkam900]

As a former kid i relate

[@js8303]

As a former kid i relate

[@The_Nü_Wave]

As a former kid i relate

[@Republic_Of_Soraya]

I was born at a very young age...

[@zkam900]

@@Republic_Of_Soraya As a former kid i relate

[@angelabryant9766]

The 'Times almost up' letter got me way harder than it probably should've XD as a kid who did dark stuff like this all the time, I can just imagine the thought process 'Well they're really old, and gonna die soon, so I'll draw an hourglass because somehow, that feels funny to me'.

[@princesspixel3151]

Probably too “innocent” to understand how that hurts? I may know that experience myself as a kid, but there are those who have much less remorse (if any) than I had

[@stef987]

Maybe they even meant well...in their very own way.

[@Alicia-zf3nq]

When I was like 7, I wrote a story about someone's grandma dying and put it in my friend's mailbox to cheer him up after his granddad died. I don't even want to know what I would write to the elderly because I clearly had no common sense

[@user-bv7zo6vd4m]

In a similar vein, when I was a little kid I straight up asked an old guy something along the lines of: Your house looks very old, will you sell it when you die? ". Somehow he didn't get offended, and he lived for a decade and a half after that

[@babyblouie4761]

Could be. But just because we found it funny doesn’t mean the kid meant to be funny

[@GELTONZ]

Okay, the kids preparing to sleep outside is SUCH a big brain move. Meanwhile "Hulk Smashes the Kardashians" is a real life example of Teen Girl Squad and I love it. HULK'D!

[@spongepony]

Matt's dramatic voice is everything.

[@hhgff778]

"everyone will be too sad to eat the cake and it will be all for me" This kid is thinking on a level we can't even comprehend.

[@royalkaur9992]

As a kid I made my aunt cry at her engagement party because I told her "you look different with makeup on". I felt so bad afterwards because I thought she looked really pretty.

[@stevenwhitear]

Awww.

[@DaTimmeh]

Half the time, it's on the adults for misinterpreting something. Kids don't tend to have much of a filter, nor understand many hidden connotations of certain phrasings. If an adult (or teenager) said that, they're clearly insinuating something. But with a kid, that's just an observation, neither good, nor bad.

[@NoriMori1992]

That's her own fault. You said she looked different, not ugly. She should have asked what you meant.

[@AirWubbox609]

"WE ARE GOING TO DIE" this got me rolling on the floor

[@3th4nz1l4ns]

This made my day (or night) after being yelled at and having a lot of assignments to do. Thank you Rose.

[@spasmplayer7422]

That ending one was disgustingly accurate and hilariously fantastic. The kid has a future in comedy.

Watching Matt bully random kids on the internet for being stupid is truly the peak content i signed up for.

[@redRuxx]

@Favo359 IKR

[@Spider-BearProductions]

​@@Mingha0He is human. I know who he is.

@@Mingha0 im not a bot lmfao.

[@ArtsyAriaHehe]

Omfg 8 just saw you on kubz scouts newest vid

[@zkam900]

@ bot

[@RailsofForney]

3:39 He was just being safe! No one can be caught _Venting_ in the house if the vents are closed.

[@AzureKaioshin]

That was the ending i never knew i needed until i had recieved it. That kid gets my salute 🫡

[@mushroomy9899]

One time my little brother walked into the living room laughing his ass off, i asked him what was so funny, he said “seasssoned wattterrr” and then poured a bottle of water filled with various seasonings he found in the spice cabinet on my balls.

[@the.seagull.35]

Wait 😂😂😂😂😂 This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard

[@mushroomy9899]

@@the.seagull.35 lmao

[@incessantsepia]

Bros nads got flavored

[@reharm_reality]

I'm laughing my ass off omfg

[@CarbonBadger]

How was it?

[@henrybyrd8381]

The “married for 72 whole minutes” joke was actually funny.

[@raebrogden]

I absoutley adore the way you just screech 'Skull Emoji'

[@Natalie-qm3ys]

It’s become a staple of his channel.

[@OGuiBlindao]

The iPhone alarm made me have an adrenaline rush and vietnam flashbacks

[@balsamicvinegar7664]

i love it when kids are scary

[@IDontReallyWantAYoutubeHandle]

Said this in another video but might as well say it here too: When I was a kid, I wanted to write a funny Mother's Day card for my mother. She is an obstetrician gynecologist, which means she's a pregnant/baby doctor that deals in all things pregnancy. Naturally, this involves termination, so I, clever little 10 year old I was, wrote on her card "Thank you for not aborting me." She proceeded to cry and claim that it was the worst Mother's day card she had ever gotten.

[@princesspixel3151]

Oops 😅

[@Alicia-zf3nq]

That's hilarious! But also very dark and I might be horrified too if I were your mom 😂

[@theMyRadiowasTaken]

BRO 💀💀💀

[@Infomaniac_Moment]

Jesus dude💀💀💀

[@jake_from_statefarm7209]

I mean, shit, that’s sweet in a really dark way 😄 it’s thanking her for giving you life, which is kinda the point of Mother’s Day, right?

[@songsuggestor2008]

Hulk Smashes the Kardashians sounds like a good book

[@epiendless1128]

I wasn't able to stop laughing at the kaleidoscope one until I realised I was drooling on my desk.

[@Bubblegum-Cupcake]

Should it concern me that I’ve already seen a lot of these? No. Should I still love this video? Yes.

[@LendriMujina]

Yeah, a lot of people pull content from the same places, but it's Matt's delivery that keeps us coming back to him specifically.

[@thatanti-veganteacher2326]

Matt adds so much depth though

[@sandrafaith]

Should you still love it? Of course. BUT DO YOU??? (j/k, of course you do)

[@Bubblegum-Cupcake]

@@sandrafaith Who wouldn’t?

[@thereesinachannel8934]

When I was about 5, my little brother and I went shopping at Walmart with my mom. While we were standing in the checkout line, my brother noticed a Muslim woman in a black burqa, who was standing right behind my mom. Being only 4 years old and not knowing anything about Muslim culture (especially since we were raised as Catholics and didn’t know about other religions until a year or two later), my little brother instantly thought she was a ninja and, without hesitation, shouted, “Mommy! There’s a ninja behind you!” The cashier was dying laughing while my mom became absolutely mortified.

[@StoonArchives]

being a muslim, this absolutely fucking killed me kudos to you for making me laugh

[@thereesinachannel8934]

@@StoonArchives You’re very welcome! I’m happy that people are enjoying this really bizarre yet funny story :)

[@hikikomorishojo]

I’m Muslim and the same sort of thing happened to me but the kid said that I was batman lol, so cute!

[@StoonArchives]

@@hikikomorishojo cute indeed

[@Iwanttoblowmybrainsoutrn]

LOLLL IM DYING

[@Link-from-hyrule]

This was the best 35 seconds of a video ever

[@toastyotaku42]

The last one is hilarious no matter how many times I watch

[@beek.4860]

My 8-year-old cousin enjoys informing me that she is going to "steal my skin." I have no doubt that someday she will do it

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Bruh

[@foxtoons1999]

Is she in league with the Skin Taker from Candle Cove?

[@skog9944]

Is your cousin a necron? If yes, run!

[@ChuckSploder]

Most of my 2-to-10 y/o shenanigans had something to do with stairs. One time when I was 9, I was home alone. For some reason, the best thing I could come up with to do was take every cushion I could find from around the house, make a giant crash pad with them, and jump down A FULL STORY onto them. Needless to say, I survived, but that's still probably one of the stupidest things I've ever done. When I was 2, I had this really cool Tonka dump truck that I'd sometimes ride around in. One time, my sister (4) somehow convinced me to ride it down the stairs onto the hard tile entryway landing. The thing that saved my life was a small Disney princess beanbag pillow that she put in for "protection". It fell directly onto where my tiny head would've hit, and I came out completely uninjured with only a few scratches. A really dumb thing that I did was intentionally faceplant off of a sitting stool at the top of the stairs. Somehow I didn't get hurt at all as I triple-somersaulted down with the stool tumbling beside me. My record for how many stairs I've jumped down at once is 10, when I was 8. Jumping down stairs is how I learned to parkour roll.

[@ricardodnda3826]

Lol, kid you believed himself to be immortal.

[@C1-wz9jj]

Damn I only can skip 3 stairs. Your 8 yr old self is better than my 8 yr old self lol.

[@NiennaFan1]

There’s this video game called Omori that I think you would love

[@ChuckSploder]

@@NiennaFan1 not really, I've looked into it before. not my thing

[@NiennaFan1]

No I was totally joking (the horror in the game, the horrific incident where the trauma and horror stems from, involves stairs but no one involved was nearly as lucky as you, and this comment was more for other Omori fans to get a giggle out of, do not play Omori if you value your sanity)@@ChuckSploder

[@goosebums67]

I hope Captain Ravioli is doing well these days. Don’t let your dad kill your dreams, little buddy!

[@Polikaize]

thank you for blessing us with that half a minute clip of you with your kitty ❤