Stupidest reasons people have called 911 / 999

[@plasquatch]

"Police, fire or ambulance?" "All three, I've set a burglar on fire."

[@YoungMrBlue]

🗿

[@CREEMkitty7]

😂😂😂 don’t know why

[@gdeproductions1225]

@@YoungMrBlue I think you mean 💀

[@marsh_bo1]

​@@gdeproductions1225🗿

[@Kinokoumori]

*I have not been able to stop WHEEZE laughing for a solid ten minutes, call ME an ambulance!*

[@fireflystudios123]

Fun fact: because of the popularity of american movies in australia, many australians have called 911 instead of 000. So they had to make 911 redirect to 000.

[@princessthyemis]

wow!

[@Laoise-m6j]

a similar thing happens in Europe, except it's 999/112 instead of 000

[@CiCodiCadno]

It's the same in the UK: 911 redirects to 999. On a side note, I work in a quintessentially British establishment, and a little, very much English girl came in and said "can I get cotton candy?" when looking at a box that clearly said 'candy floss'. Americanisms are inescapable!

[@monkeygaming2841]

What if you went to america on holiday

[@emerald8274]

​@@monkeygaming2841aside from just being inadvisable for select areas, pretty sure the it is set up to transfer 911 calls locally by GPS data. If you are using a phone from a foreign country that can use the existing networks it will probably work as any local phone. I don't know what would happen if you dialed 999 in the US. Given the amount of foreign tourists I'm sure they've thought of that. I just don't have the desire to find out. Emergency Dispatch clearly deals with enough issues.

[@hotelmario510]

Woman calling 911 after having a premonition of a murder only to be dismissed out of hand is definitely part of the plot of a movie about a woman with psychic powers who has to prevent a murder from happening

[@christinabrannon685]

It reminds me of the plot of the Final Destination films. 😂

[@thedemolitionsexpertsledge5552]

Minority Report

[@eeveestar6826]

Literally the premise of Death in Paradise, Season 1 Episode 3

[@GunSpyEnthusiast]

She has to prevent *her* murder from happening, but she doesn't know it's hers.

[@FreddyKruegerTheDreamDemon]

That's literally the plot to the show Medium

[@arthurmartin4616]

To be fair, worrying about a kid peeing in the air vents is a valid concern especially if they have done it before.

[@Matt_Rose]

How many times til you just get used to it I wonder?

[@lumieas]

@@Matt_Rose roughly, 3 to 5

[@ram_stick_samurai]

@@Matt_Rose I pee in my own vents, it's nice.

[@cameronbigley7483]

@@lumieas Experience or?

[@Blue_phoenixLover]

@@Matt_Rose had it happen to me 9 times-

[@loyalpiper]

As someone who works as a call taker for the scottish ambulance service you'd be surprised how much people stick things up their arse and get it stuck.

[@Revalopod]

Broomstick handle

[@Mosssys]

I've heard a story about a soap bottle

[@Aethelos]

@@Revalopod MARGARET THATCHER

[@Danomnomnom]

Always remind people to make sure that the next thing they slip and fall onto has a flared base.

[@Spoon-385]

i heard a guy who used a toilet brush

[@mijigamin1]

8:27 an elderly neighbor once called my mom saying “i swear im not crazy, and if i call my daughter she’ll send me to a home, but it looks like there’s a turkey on your garage.” there was a fucking turkey on our garage. turkeys didn’t even live their, i have no idea how it got there

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Must've been a wild turkey that got lost or somethin'. Kinda sad to hear the neighbour was afraid of getting sent to a home, afraid of sounding crazy...

[@Zebo12345678]

​@@0_dearghealach_083 I'm pretty sure the "they'll send me to a home" comment was a joke.

[@irenemiller9958]

ON your garage, or IN your garage? Either way; that poor guy.

[@mijigamin1]

@@irenemiller9958 on, like on top of

[@brandonp7503]

"I've just about had it, Dad! You're one non-native fowl hallucination away from the nursing home!" 😂

[@ebonyofthestars]

10:40 well... this has been the first time I have heard of the abbreviation "D&D" being used for a criminal charge, so... while reading ahead of Matt reading aloud I was a bit confused why the determined caller's lover was arrested for playing Dungeons and Dragons

[@sidewayscat5294]

I had the same thought lol. Maybe it was during the satanic panic 😂

[@red-catsareliquid]

same

[@zerobatsu]

It seemed like such a plausible scenario too!

[@osheridan]

Same

[@melsbacksfriend]

Chaotic evil moment

[@Antipaxos_Nadja123]

To be fair finding a dead squirrel in your bed randomly must be pretty terrifying

[@Paulafan5]

That's revolting! How did it get there? Did a family dog or cat put it there as a "gift"?

[@Antipaxos_Nadja123]

@Paulafan5 this woman was terrified, so even if it wasn't a literal corpse there could be reason for her to be distressed right?

[@joshslater2426]

Sounds a bit like what happens in The Godfather.

[@Antipaxos_Nadja123]

@sheatemyheartt I don't know the context tbf, it could be a mafia threat at the extreme end or just a cat at the lower end, but it would most certainly be jarring

[@genericname2747]

My guess is the squirrel entered the house and then randomly died. Or she had a cat

[@immortalkaos80]

I got one that doubles as heart warming. I was a police dispatcher, because I live in a town so small 911 dispatch is also done by us. Every single week the same elderly woman would call with one outlandish crisis after another. Hoodlums drove a car through her house and stole her measuring spoons. Aliens broke in and took her tv guide. Things like that. She was obviously mentally unwell. But she was alone and harmless. She also made homemade chocolate cookies for the cops every time they came by. As a result there were fights every week over who got to take the call so they got cookies and then spent 40 mins just chatting with her while eating cookies and milk or coffee. It got so bad the LT had to in state a clear rotation for them so no one was fighting over who got to go next.

[@pittiebaby]

Awe

[@ajplaysytreal]

i seen “arrested for D&D” and thought “what the hell did she do, roll a nat 1?”

[@dontaskme3648]

What happened

[@allasar]

My brain instantly went the same way as yours.

[@rojabell]

@@dontaskme3648 drunk and disorderly

[@GalaxywinghasADHD]

Some people comit violet acts because of dnd (crimes)

[@dwaswas3]

"So, you have commited multiple crimes, lets do a laywer roll check"

[@GeorgeMarionerd]

When I saw someone had included a link to an article, I half expected Matt to read the link instead of the actual article.

[@Matt_Rose]

Ha! 😅 Next time!

[@eggyt1153]

@@Matt_Roseplease do it’d be funny

[@EmmyforHistory]

@@Matt_RoseI double dog dare you to read the actual link next time

[@pittiebaby]

​@@Matt_Rose "frqtubskalfjsoo/jealous+idk+love/jeuaornsuaj"

[@jayeh1443]

The mother worried her kid would get an allergic reaction to packing peanuts is really sweet. stupid, but sweet

[@elfiot]

She’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit.

[@Cecilpedia]

I'd rather someone have a stupid but genuine worry than not care at all

[@elfiot]

@@Cecilpedia yeah. The story would be completely adorable if the caller was a small child who was afraid their sibling was about to die of packing peanut exposure. I’m kinda concerned that a grown woman doesn’t know what packing peanuts are, but it’s better to have a false alarm than risk actually harming the kid.

[@YokiDokiPanic]

Okay, it might sound silly because the guy was dying his pubes, but an allergic reaction to the genitals actually IS an emergency.

[@Diablo_Himself]

Hmm...good point. However, the "packing peanuts" one is bluddy stupid!

[@Crawfishness]

There are a couple of forgivable ones in here, if only because the person calling had a legitimate reason to assume there was an emergency. Doesn't make them less funny.

[@electricay]

​@@Crawfishnessthe deer one was dumb but sweet

[@JetFalcon710]

@@electricay Yeah, it kinda makes me think of a story I once heard about a drunk guy ordering an Uber for a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest

[@asteroidrules]

Completely valid reason to call 911, but still a monumentally stupid thing to do.

[@Half_Awake]

My dad used to be a police officer. One time he got a call where all the person would say was “They’re killing them!” so naturally he hurried to the beach where the person called from expecting a murder or something awful of the sorts. Instead, it was a pod of orcas eating a sea lion. Someone called the police on a pod of orcas-

[@EatAnOctorok]

That must be why a lot of operators advise the caller to stay on the line for as long as they can while the drive is being made.

[@thebussypresident7085]

“Can you describe the perpetrator?” “He’s black, white and red all over!”

[@caram5222]

I want to know what they think the police was going to do? Like a stern warnning or did ghey want them to jump in?

[@Mara_1337]

​@@caram5222yeah, that's always what I'm thinking. What do people expect the police to do? Also, in this case (and several others tbh), that's just nature doing it's thing lol. I read the post of the manicure girl in the video and that made more sense than the orca one lol. The salon refused to let her talk to a manager or get a refund, so she felt like she was scammed. But like the officer said to her, it's a civil matter, not a criminal one. A lot of times, people call emergency when they wanna like, sue somebody or smth. That's not what it's for either 😅😅

[@iampointless]

Yes but the place I live we should call 112 if any sea lions are harmed.

[@jeepmega629]

Turn Down For What playing right after the lady said to turn down the music sounds like the funniest coincidence in the history of the universe

[@Rosiewolfie23]

lol i dont think it was a coincidence 😂

[@cloakedcarp]

0:52 I can’t believe our law enforcement doesn’t account for cold deer, quite shameful to be honest

[@phygs]

would be fish & game if anything

[@osheridan]

HeII are we even paying taxes for?

[@Decidukip]

Reminds me of the woman who called into a radio show to complain that deer crossings were in dangerous spots and should be moved.

[@The1Dragonprincess]

I thought there is at least a separate number to call animal emergency care to take them to the vet or zoo hospitals. 🤷‍♀️

[@V.U.4six]

Oh deer

[@yoymate6316]

in case anyone’s curious about the XXXX hairbrush story, here it is copy and pasted from the archived copy of that reddit thread on the wayback machine: "What's your emergency?" "I just swallowed a hairbrush" there is no obvious respiratory distress since they are speaking fine and calmly so I move on to try to assess the situation "How did that happen?" "I was pissed off" "Ok ma'am what's the address you are at..." She was fine she just had, in fact, swallowed a hairbrush... It's actually pretty sad because this particular person was one of our frequent fliers for psych. I worked a second-level of dispatching that just dealt with medical emergencies and psych so I was insulated from a lot of the run-of-the-mill everyday dumb calls by the normal dispatchers and most of the "dumb" stuff that made it to me was actually genuine psych problems or people out of their minds on drugs. Of course, you still laugh at that kind of stuff because it's a change of pace from the ordinary and you tend to develop a really dark sense of humor in that line of work but you do always have to try to remember on some level that the person screaming that they need you to send the FBI to get the aliens off their roof does have a medical problem that they need help with. I'm not sure [how big it was] because I was stuck in dispatch but the crew who took her to the ER (who stuck around in case they needed to take her to a psych treatment place after) saw the x-rays and described it to me in medical terms as "an actual fucking hairbrush".

[@isthatrubble]

jesus christ. I hope it was a little kid's one or something, but even so how do you even do that

[@oolivero45]

I'm a 999 call handler for the ambulance service, and the most stupid one I've ever recieved was from someone who was complaining/moaning that there was an ambulance parked preventing him from getting into his garage. His neighbour had managed to simultaneously have both a stroke *and* an MI (heart attack), and all this self-absorbed walnut could think of was himself.

[@Diablo_Himself]

Sounds about right for this country, unfortunately. Was he an entitled twonk, by any chance? Rich family?

[@annie_the_little_fish]

"Self absorbed walnut" LOL

[@TheBoss.-tq2vm]

@@annie_the_little_fishBest insult ever

[@dioritegaming592]

@@annie_the_little_fish im using that

[@zoetje9817]

And his garage, evidently.

[@EldritchOwl3141]

My father once called 911 because his dealer upped the price...

[@Silver_wind_1987_]

😂 hey! My angel dust was 5.00 before!!! Why is it 7!? 😂

[@BO-OH-O-WA-ER.145]

Here in Australia it’s 000

[@dolphinfish-zt5xx]

@@Silver_wind_1987_ damn inflation

[@DracovStudio]

@@BO-OH-O-WA-ER.145that cheap? I'm kidding. I'm an Aussie,

[@Swagmaster65]

So how'd it go after that?

[@Thomas_Everman]

My sister called the cops when she was about 4 because she "Couldn't find Dad". He was on the back porch grilling hamburgers for dinner.

[@isthatrubble]

at least she knew how to do it!

[@TheGothickitty33]

I did that once too. I was 6 maybe 7 and walked home from my friends house across the road and dads truck was not in our driveway. I couldn't find him in the house. Called 911. Turns out my dad loaned the truck to a family friend that day and he was on the back deck cooking steak. The one place I did not think to check. Also My dad was starting to go deaf so he did not hear me yelling for him.

[@exuakema]

I butt dialled 999 and they heard me talking about cheese on the side of the road

[@Vanta526]

This works for two video sequels!

[@exuakema]

@@Vanta526 oh dam

[@bachynskylisa1]

Yes, but were you on the side of the road talking about cheese? Or were you talking about cheese that was on the side of the road?

[@exuakema]

@@bachynskylisa1 what

[@Jupiter-T]

@@exuakema What was on the side of the road - you or the cheese?

[@枒]

I called once because our bag of chips was full of ants. Hundreds of them. I was home alone and a hormonal teenager with anxiety who was terrified of bugs. They sent the officers right away, so it must’ve been a slow day

[@枒]

If anyone’s wondering what the officers did to help, they literally just took the bag of chips outside LMAO 💀

[@saturny_OSC]

@@枒 Legend

[@Silver_wind_1987_]

​@枒 panic attacks ain't very fun and also are sort of an emergency as you can pass out 😮

[@Thelastunicornlover]

Your chips had ANTS!🐜🐜🐜

[@Iluvpie6]

What I want to know is why you thought that was a job for the police

[@naymeequillo]

The hospital socks are the absolute best though! When I had my tubes tied and woke up a bit groggy, I asked a nurse if I could buy a pair and she told me no, and I tried to give her thd pair I was still wearing. I thought they were borrows. I nearly cried when she told me I could keep them and she called me a very "pleasant and polite" patient 😊

[@MundaneGray]

They are great socks. I had a few pairs from colonoscopies, cataract surgery, and having my gallbladder removed. My father had a similar collection, and when he passed away, my mother gave them to me. Thanks, Dad. 😢

[@msthecommentator2863]

Love those socks! I had a family friend who washed and gave me hers when she was in for surgery. They're the comfiest socks I own, I wear them all around the house

[@ChronicNewb]

I wish I could enjoy them but I have trauma from my last hospital visit soooooo

[@bonecanoe86]

A few days ago I had a dream where they came out with a brand of gum called "Gump". They made a 90s style commercial with an extremely catchy theme song to promote it, and you couldn't get away from it. Within days the word "Gump" made it into everyday speech in infinite ways. You no longer hang out with your friends, you gump with your friends. When you think about something you "gump on it". Everything involving other people, thinking, or doing anything in general was now "gumping". I know this has nothing to do with this video but you were the first person I thought of when I woke up.

[@Revalopod]

Forrest Gump syndrome

[@mxyzptplk]

im gumping so hard rn

[@terrotorotbart8319]

911/999 dispatch, what's the dumbest reason someone has gumped?

[@kaproskarleto5136]

I had a dream last night where I (and two random people) were getting chased by the spider guy from Monsters Inc.....yeah, that's off topic, but.. thought you should know 👍

[@meatballphilosopher5734]

The smurf virus

[@Lokisqueen22]

The lady who called 911 for the "hot cop" was charged with misuse of the 911 system. I think she was later sentenced in court.

[@Dangerzone334ArchiveOfficial]

That's what she gets for misusing the call

[@KinCryos]

I remember reading about that. for irony, the "cutiepie deputy" she called for was the one who arrested her

[@melonmusk8924]

​@@KinCryos She got what she wanted.

[@LlywellynOBrien]

​@@KinCryosAnd an arresting officer legally has to give their badge number if asked, so at least she could say she got his number.

[@qcexplorer6628]

Horny jail

[@TheCleverArachnid]

One of the best parts of having cancer was I ended up getting more of those wicked comfortable grippy socks than I could ever wear. 5 years in remission and still drowning in socks.

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Well-- are you okay now?? Please take care of yourself.

[@pittiebaby]

Lol- my family has a lot of random medical problems, I got epilepsy from my dad, the epilepsy causes RND or AMPS (as some call it) I have an asthma variant from my dad, PCOS (I think that's how its spelled? 😭) from my grandparents ig, (Idk if I have it or what my mom has been talking about getting me tested and stuff) and I have low blood pressure but high heart rate, so ive been to the hospital a, a lot.

[@pittiebaby]

I cant find you through the grippy socks. Help- all I see is yellow and blue

[@lemagicbaguette1917]

Sock baron

[@PinnePon]

If the sun seems brighter than normal that might be a medical thing

[@TH3HAZB1NZ_]

agreed

[@Frilled.jellyfishcookiefan]

I think it’s astigmatism, not completely sure tho

[@britishbirdie9113]

@@Frilled.jellyfishcookiefan I have astigmatism, the sun is not brighter. Lights are just twinkly stars

[@PinnePon]

​@@britishbirdie9113wait lights arent supposed to be stars???

[@britishbirdie9113]

@@PinnePon nope! I thought this too before finding out what atsigmatism is lol I was like "This isn't normal?"

[@Maplekittycity]

The shamelessness in these kinds of people always amazes me. I could be bleeding out but still not call any emergency service in worry of bothering them.

[@tuxtheidiot1767]

A little over a year ago I sprained my ankle so bad that I could barely walk home. It probably took me like 30 minutes to walk back home, when it usually takes 5. I ended up going to the hospital... around 2 weeks after that happened.

[@imMoRTal0722]

real

[@harshmnr]

Understandable but please do call emergency services if you're bleeding out (or any other emergency). 😂 Even if you don't want to bother them, you'd bother them more by like, dying, right? ~:~

[@Jinxprincess13]

Fr like a while ago I was having waves of crippling pain and just went 'if it happens again I'll call the NHS advise line, and if they say go to hospital then okay' but then you get people who call 999 for a cracked fingernail or some shit and I can't imagine the mindset behind that.

[@Diablo_Himself]

I have avoided calling 999 due to the embarrassment of my injury. Despite bleeding quite a bit.

[@DavidWillanski]

9:48 reminded me of a story from someone who worked in Parliament House. They found and pressed a mystery button under an MP's desk. They thought nothing happened, until armed security guards burst in

[@Chrisjamesbrown]

Legitimately buttdialed 911, I was talking to my brother about Skyrim's Dark Brotherhood. All they heard was 2 men talking about assassinating the Emperor. When I heard chatter on the phone all I could say was "Oh SHIT" and put the phone down. I had police come visit to find one what the heck was happening. The call was about 15 minutes long. For context, I'm autistic, so I kinda panicked lol

[@CherryHotSauce]

That’s not autism that’s a pretty normal reaction to that situation

[@elfiot]

@@CherryHotSauceautism reliably makes things feel even more chaotic than they are. My brother and I are autistic and mom used to quip that if she did the “prank” where she said we were going somewhere boring but actually took us to Disney World, we’d both start crying about the change of plans. Legit though it would have been like: …if we’re here…who’s going to feed the pets??? Are people going to miss us at the place we thought we were going??? Do we have enough sunscreen??? Why did she lie to us??? What else is she lying about??? So probably just add a generous scoop of panic onto the normal amount of panic about butt dialing the cops.

[@RaymanChrome]

Redhaus post said "What's your emergency?" "I just swallowed a hairbrush" there is no obvious respiratory distress since they are speaking fine and calmly so I move on to try to assess the situation "How did that happen?" "I was рissed off" "Ok ma'am what's the address you are at..."

[@starwarzchik112]

Thought it would be hairbrush as sex toy, this is a twist!

[@simonnachreiner8380]

I mean that is actually an emergency. Having a large foreign object lodged in the esophagus can tear the inside of the digestive tract.

[@IBathedKeanuReeves]

Did they ever explain why they redacted their comment?

[@cruncyart]

@@IBathedKeanuReeves Sometimes, when people delete their accounts, they'll purge all former activity using a bot or some such for additional privacy

[@coolguyfunguy2307]

As a firefighter, the dumbest thing I ever got called out for was a "gas leak" at a grocery store where a customer dialed 911 complaining it smelled bad inside the store. Noot even "it smells like a gas leak", just "it smells bad".

[@b.m.933]

3:50 reminded me of an episode of The Amazing World of Gumball where the duo was working at the mall and a lady came up to them to ask them to help find her son and the lady said she last saw him in 1987 in New Jersey.

[@jjstarz7383]

make me a cake and fill it with brisket

[@b.m.933]

@@jjstarz7383 The taste of your hand always sweetens the biscuit.

[@jjstarz7383]

@@b.m.933 mama’s proud boy his belly is swollen

[@b.m.933]

@@jjstarz7383 Slathered in butter until it turns golden.

[@s4turn_st4rz_yt]

I REMEMBER THAT ONE OMG

[@mallardish1764]

2:41 You laugh when this man is the only thing standing between bigfoot and the whole town getting bigfooted

[@andrew_might_community_post]

He’s gonna find him soon. He’ll kill Bigfoot and be a town hero after everyone doubted him. Just give him time and he’ll win.

[@Grievous_Nix]

Lmao you made it sound like Bigfoot makes everyone else’s feet big too.

[@cindygauthier8567]

@@andrew_might_community_post Depending where he is, he’d be breaking the law by killing an endangered species. Apparently the state of Washington had to pass some laws because of the amount of heavily armed wingnuts coming into the state to look for/hunt Bigfoot (aka: hunting for something human shaped)

[@christinae30]

I laughed so I couldn't hit the like button for seconds😂🤣🤣

[@lorena_lucas]

In Brazil, we have separate numbers for police, ambulance, firefighters etc. Wish we had a system like 911, so I wouldn't have to remember a lot of emergency numbers

[@TheNasaDude]

Italy had a bunch of numbers too 113 for police 115 for firefighters and 1515 for forest fires 118 for medical emergencies 112 was for road assistance IIRC We have now moved to an unified system where you dial 112 and they mobilize the appropriate service. The move took a long time since every region had to do it (there are 20 regions)

[@UzumakiNaelricyZ]

This. Everytime I see a video like this I have to Google the numbers so I can remember them again.

[@Diablo_Himself]

In England, we have 999 for emergencies. (Police/Fire/Ambulance/Coastguard) 101 for non-emergency police, I think. 111 for non-emergency medical advice/help. I am sure there are more...

[@1stdragon123]

in the usa we have both. generally the separate ones are for non emergencies with the idea you can just look them up.

[@DarthGTB]

True. Since we see police cars fairly often on the streets I was able to memorize 190 as it's written on their cars, but I can never remember the other ones I've just checked SAMU, which is equivalent to EMT, and that's 192. BTW, I've just found out that if you call 911 in Brazil it's apparently also redirected to the military police (the main police force in Brazil), but this number only works from mobile calls which is virtually everyone nowadays. All the main numbers: 190 - Military Police 191 - Federal highway police 192 - Medical service 193 - Fire brigade 194 - Federal police 197 - Civilian police 198 - State highway police There are some other emergency services for unusual stuff like human rights abuse and such. There is one specific for women who feel threatened by men... Yeah there are too many to remember

[@Astronomalyy]

My mother once called 999 for suspected sepsis (30/40% mortality rate, if you're curious) because she had a 'ragged dark rash' on the side of her face that didn't go away when she rolled a glass over it. For about 5 minutes I hovered over her shoulder, panicking that she would die. They were about to dispatch an ambulance before she realised it was chocolate.

[@FirstnameLastname-jd4uq]

30/40% mortality rate is for septic shock (basically very severe sepsis that causes dangerously low blood pressure). Mortality rate can be much less than that if it is treated early and doesn’t get to that point

[@zo6679]

That’s why you always gotta lick and rub it. Saw a very melanoma looking mole on me once, turned out to be old barbecue sauce

[@jaredcrabb]

​@@zo6679 I probably found this way more funny than it is.

[@elfiot]

@@FirstnameLastname-jd4uqmy younger brother went into septic shock a couple of weeks after a major surgery when he was 12. Mom drove him to the hospital where he’d had the surgery and they were able to save him but it was terrifying. I guess it makes sense that earlier stages of sepsis look different, but in my head, that word is synonymous with turning grey, running a high fever, vomiting, and feeling faint. None of that can be caused by chocolate, unless you are severely allergic to it.

[@FirstnameLastname-jd4uq]

@@elfiot and an allergy would cause anaphylactic shock, not septic shock

[@AllisterCat]

Out of the three times I have laugh cried in my life they where all while watching these videos, thank you Matt for making me happy :D

[@PrettyWaffle]

craziest 911 call I've heard was one quite a few years ago where the man said "time is going by really, really slowly" because he and his wife ate weed brownies and then he asked the operator what the score for the Red Wings game was. I truly love Michigan

[@lizanna6390]

At least he had a good excuse.

[@bathr00mgirl]

IIRC he was a cop, too!

[@ThatOneGuy-s8r]

I called 911 when I was 5 or 6 years old because our DVD player was flashing the word "play". it's haunts me to this day

[@hughcaldwell1034]

To be fair, electronics flashing messages at me induced much anxiety when I's that age. Still do, to some extent.

[@boathesnake478]

the fact that you called 911 or the word "play" flashing?

[@ThatOneGuy-s8r]

@@boathesnake478 both

[@bananabuttersomethin]

My microwave said "Child" one time and you don't see me calling 911 over it.

[@durdleduc8520]

@@hughcaldwell1034 for real though. once i was home alone when our power went out. we were one of the lucky folks with an electric generator, but for some godforsaken reason it decided to not work SPECIFICALLY when my dad was on a trip and couldn't come home to fix it. it was daytime & the summer so my main concern was the fridge & freezers and also WiFi because internet-addicted teenager. at one point i started to hear this mysterious beeping sound in the house... i'm partially deaf so it was hard as hell to track down the source, wandering aimlessly room-to-room. eventually i realized it was coming from the basement. some device plugged into the wall next to the fuse box, mysteriously receiving power in a pitch-black, powerless basement, beeping and flashing red numbers on its display. it felt like a horror movie. once dad could look at the pictures i sent him, he was able to let me know it was a gas detector running on backup power that probably got errored when the electricity went out. once i got the generator working (also a terrifying experience) it shut up.

[@dittoguy1987]

7:43 the caller either put an entire hairbrush in their mouth and it got stuck or it went somewhere else

[@chitarah]

That person who was scared of the frog definitely had an EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION!! Edit: Amazing content!! This is why I’m subscribed to Matt Rose lol!

[@bewearstar9462]

That's right

[@m310grass]

Emergency Frog Situation!!! ‼️🚨🆘🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🆘🚨‼️

[@twanam3943]

EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION 🐸

[@ursidae97]

Also felt for the emergency cold deer situation

[@Thelastunicornlover]

‼️🚨🆘🐸🆘🚨‼️

[@triniasta]

3:55 now thats what i call a EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION

[@jimb.7523]

* *EMERGENCY TINY FROG SITUATION!!!!!!*

[@charliepappas-rr3rv]

OH THANK GODDNESS SOMEONE CALLED THE EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION I WAS GOING TO BE BUT I HAD TO WORK

[@vuxl]

I HEARD FROG. ITS AUTOMATICALLY AN EMERGENCY SITUATION

[@thewitness8321]

This is truly a 𓆏 EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION

[@genericname2747]

🐸

[@dawnrunner77]

Suddenly reminded of the poignancy of the George Carlin quote "think of how dumb the average person is, now realize half of all people are stupider than that"

[@SnackAttak]

2:15 i cannot blame her that potato looks uncannily like a toe

[@Protogen_000]

True

[@Mechstreme]

a potatoe

[@V.U.4six]

@@Mechstreme😂

[@Ciaraahah]

Maybe that’s why they’re called potatoes 🤔

[@C1-wz9jj]

@@CiaraahahTime to eat some freshly boiled toes.

[@greybeardcanadian1036]

This brought to mind my days as a tour director. The best complaint I heard was from one woman on a Madagascar tour. I would take the group out for a walk one evening and show them all the constellations in the southern sky, which I personally thought was really cool. She complained that "the night sky was not as interesting as I told her it would be."

[@rwentfordable]

😂 Damn the entitlement of people

[@sherry2313]

Well she's crazy because I've been to Madagascar and it was the best place ever to see the night ski. They have the lowest level of light pollution on the planet. Seeing the night sky there was amazing beyond words.

[@thatguynamedtohuki]

10:35 Not going to lie, i was trying to figure out how someone can get arrested for dungeons and dragons until Matt said it out loud.

[@rebekahjollie5053]

We had a deactivated flip phone as kids and my mom used it to teach us how to call 911. Except she didn’t realize that 911 still works on a deactivated phone. This lead to my brother walking up to mom with a (as far as she knows) non-functional phone saying “mom they want to talk to you.” My mom thought he was playing pretend and picked it up only to realize it was actually 911.

[@Hunter-Winchester]

"Mrs Parsons stole my glitter water" 😭😭😭 I almost had to call emergency services myself, cos that one had me dying with laughter 🤣🤣🤣

[@michellebrickner9307]

My husband works for a rural county fire department. The number of times people will call about a house being on fire when all they saw was smoke as they drove by, not bothering to stop and make sure the owners aren't grilling or burning trash, is amazing.

[@jamesaulner]

As someone who had to call emergency services for valid reasons, these operators have the patience of a saint.

[@vampirelibrarian777]

I have had to call before for medical reasons (a surprise seizure on a hard floor was NOT fun!) and it’s absolute hell, I felt so much like I was wasting their time. Can’t imagine having the confidence(? ignorance??) of calling for silly reasons like these

[@unapologeticallylizzy]

I don't think I've ever had to call emergency services (I'm only 21, give it time) but I have had to speak to the police non-emergency number about my credit card being used by someone that wasn't me. I'm a student, I can't afford to be robbed so I was absolutely in tears and the officer was so lovely and kind.

[@MezephelesArt]

I once called the police because I got lost. Fine, right? The location I was meant to go was, according to my map, a minute away from where I was, and I still couldn't figure out the directions. Moral of the story? Don't let me do directions.

[@gianna-lt7mp]

When my neighbor was 5 they called 911 because she lost her Barbie in the backyard. When her mom took the phone away from her and apologized, she screamed "BARBIES GOING TO DIE AND ITS ALL YOUR FAULT."

[@dorothyallspice1862]

LMFAO THIS MADE MY DAY

[@saagabragi6938]

7:09 Allergic reactions can kill you, so that might in fact be a good reason to call 911. Dyeing your pubes is weird though.

[@jc441-i3q]

I once dialed 911 in the UK to see if it would actually redirect to the emergency line. It did. I apologised to the operator and hung up.

[@Jordanisokatnth]

911 has become such a universal number most operators just say "fuck it, you go here now"

[@nthgth]

I'm very glad to know that. Honestly, as an American, I only know of 999 from British TV (the IT Crowd mainly), so I imagine it's fairly uncommonly known. 911 is not only the US - so tons and tons of tourists might not know 999 when they have an emergency while visiting the UK.

[@Jordanisokatnth]

@@nthgth the solution was the actual universal emergency number 112

[@nthgth]

@@Jordanisokatnth never heard of it. Seems like 911 works in many countries though, so maybe "universal" is a bit of a stretch

[@Noahiscool69]

"999 whats your emergency" "The grass is green" "Ok were coming in 2 seconds"

[@YoungMrBlue]

This joke is not intended for simple minded Americans like myself is it lol

[@40Ccents]

@@YoungMrBlue please for the love of god, shut up about americans

[@SGM1066Official]

@@YoungMrBlue how dare u

[@YoungMrBlue]

@@Noahiscool69 guys I’m an American it was supposed to be a self-deprecation joke because I didn’t get it

[@TsAnimations-qi8rk]

I'm Canadian

[@JaneAustenAteMyCat]

Me seeing 'arrested for D&D' and thinking Dungeons and Dragons. Very disappointed to learn that it means drunk and disorderly

[@vuxl]

oh so the d&d game didnt get extremely violent?? smh

[@Ensign_games]

my favorate TPRPG - "Drunk and Disorderly"

[@robinvanderpal372]

to be fair - drunk & disorderly is quite an accurate description of my party a lot of the time

[@TheQuackinator]

i did too

[@VeryPeeved]

@@Ensign_games TablePot RolePlaying Game.

[@ythegamerita]

10:35 before you said it i was like "how would you get arrested for dungeons and dragons?"

[@headphone_cat_gaming]

That is EXACTLY what i was thinking

[@stilltoomanyhats]

8:17 "Yeah my roommates are suffering from a sudden attack of carcinization"

[@LlywellynOBrien]

Turns out their choice of inebriants was so potent that it triggered rapid evolution. They got moon stoned.

[@RedCaio]

I was a good kid but when my sister who was left in charge denied me the cookie jar I said "I'll call 911 on you!" and she made the mistake of mockingly saying "no, you won't. lol" so you see I had no choice but to call 911 on her.

[@shadowmaster435]

understandable

[@nthgth]

Your hands were tied. You warned her.

[@melisastone231]

4:40 gives intense doctor who vibes, just the lady and the little girl over the phone about something innocent like a snowman missing, just gives that weird, almost creepy but not quite, vibe

[@The_doct0r-14]

WILD WHOVIAN! I was also thinking that

[@aidenninetynine]

7:43 this was probably someone purging their comments before leaving reddit. (not because of the api protest, that was less than 8 years ago)

[@matthewweatherhogg4964]

Well that’s lame as hell

[@tokyoishappy]

yeah there are bots on reddit you can use to go back and edit all your posts to a random string of words because its very easy to see deleted posts

[@osheridan]

Wouldn't that mean it's more likely to be the API protest? (Whatever that is)

[@cheesycheese8451]

@@osheridan no because it was also edited 8 years ago

[@aidenninetynine]

@@cheesycheese8451 thanks for answering for me

[@frita1411]

My guinea pigs love your videos/voice. Anytime I play them they start wheeking (happy sounds) ❤

[@StefTalks69420]

He's probably a Guinea pig

[@0_dearghealach_083]

🐹 Heck yeah

[@pittiebaby]

THATS WHAT THATS CALLED

[@GriffinForte]

Mine died

[@Xianthus]

4:31 honestly pisses me off a little bit, because 1) great way to traumatize a child, and 2) I wish the police’s answer had been no in my case. I was a horribly anxious, socially anxious, and depressed kid, alongside having undiagnosed autism. All of this meant that, especially around middle and high school, I had a lot of trouble attending school because it stressed me out badly enough. The school principal had no idea how to help a struggling child, and so one of his many awful ideas ended up with this: On one of the many days I didn’t go into school (which cumulatively made up well over half the school year each year and only got worse as time went on), my parents had a meeting at the school to discuss what to do with me. The principal sent them back home with a letter for me, which stated that I could either be driven in by my parents to attend school for the rest of the day, *or* he could drive to my house himself and take me to school. Of course, that just stressed me out even more, and I didn’t move. So what did he do? Show up at my house with not one, but TWO police cars with lights flashing to try and intimidate me into going in. Yes, I had built up enough missed days to have a truancy case opened against me, but that was not the kind of legal action that would require multiple police cars in an attempt to force me, an anxiety-ridden teen, to attend school. (I panicked, had my dad drive me in after all, and then sat in a chair in the library for the remainder of the day refusing to move or do anything, which ended in my dad having to come into the library at the end of the day and walk me out. I really wish they had flat-out told that principal that he was not allowed to use police resources for that, because that incident caused heavy trauma for me and only made the rest of my days at that school worse.

[@casstitudy]

@@samararg4507 why are you so hostile 💀

[@TheRealDakasch]

Holy hell this is extremely relatable. I’ve been having such bad days at school and I also have undiagnosed autism, a lot of adults think I have it, and I’m having trouble going and my grandma freaked me out by saying the police were gonna show up tomorrow and bring me to school like a couple days ago just to intimidate me into going.😭😭 but at least my school principal has a much better way of me going, I can leave whenever I want as long as I tell someone. But I haven’t really been going to school since that was set up..

[@Xianthus]

@@TheRealDakasch Well, I’m sorry your grandma did that. I’m very glad your principal is reasonable, though! I think that’s a much better way of handling it. Best of luck to you

[@AiOinc1]

My dad is a county sheriff and I wish I could tell you about all of the insane calls he's responded to, but I'll just tell you my favorite one. New employee at a mine driving a double wide dump truck up a hill puts the transmission in the wrong gear. Engine stalls, truck rolls back down the hill. Twists and breaks drive shaft, truck rolls backwards into a house. Truck had so much inertia that it knocked the entire house off the foundation. Nobody was home, nobody was injured, but they stood around for hours trying to figure out what the heck they should do.

[@jerryfperryiii6830]

... Wow. Impressive.

[@talonscavern7657]

Not me reading ahead and wondering why would she get arrested for Dungeons & Dragons...

[@miranda.g.22]

I went to elementary school with a girl who would call 911 to get attention / revenge on her parents if throwing a tantrum didn't work. She called 911 because they didn't let her pick the movie for family movie night once. She was really proud of this too

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Bruh.💀

[@Berniej.Janinsky]

How did she enjoy the 2 month stay in jail & being hit with $2000 in fines that Mommy & Daddy took out of her allowance for the next 10 years?😂

[@456puff]

I've called 911 and been put ON HOLD. It happened to my parents once as well. The fact that we've been put on hold for actual emergencies (and I'm sure others have as well) because of these people is infuriating.

[@midnight23404]

My aunt has a book about stupid reasons people called 911 called "what's the number for 911" so when I saw this video I thought of that immediately and it made me happy.

[@cirrocirrus]

i tamar

[@Window873]

My Dad works as a paramedic and I was chatting with him when he got a call for "80 year old male lost his keys and wallet". He also once had a person who threatened to jump out the window... on the ground floor.

[@stariadreamtea]

The lady who thought her heart broke needs a hug 🫂!!!!

[@Diablo_Himself]

...or told to grow up?

[@SuperPaperMarioMovieGuy]

2:53 You're going to have to call Gru for that.

[@IGOTTRIXUPMYSLEEVE]

or hermitcraft s8

[@YoungMrBlue]

Ha!

[@Kawaiitwo]

@@IGOTTRIXUPMYSLEEVE”Is the moon big?”

[@TheMNMPig]

​@@IGOTTRIXUPMYSLEEVE YES someone else referenced it :D

[@JustBluHues_]

​@@IGOTTRIXUPMYSLEEVEFINALLY SOMEONE SAID THIS-

[@pastelcatnip]

I don't know if this is a thing but... strangest thoughts people have had as they're falling asleep? Last night around 12:30 pm the phrase "I love you... 11 inch pie" repeated in my head until I fell asleep and I thought it was the funniest thing ever

[@SkeletonLand368]

4:14 Caller (to the neighbors): Hey guys, can you turn it down?! Lil Jon: Turn Down for What? [music for a few seconds] Turn Down for What?

[@ClausMichaelFasting]

In other words - said neighbor didn't care.

[@SirAsdf]

5:29 This has to be the singular most suspicious thing any human being has ever done.

[@kurtmatteson4914]

Could've been them showing someone how to call emergency services and accidentally putting the call through.

[@gothnerd887]

*Serial Designation V reveals a yellow and red flag with text that reads "LITERALLY SO INSANELY SUSPICIOUS"*

[@Michael-pp8lz]

I was the manager of a car wash in high school. A woman called 9/11 around midnight and complained to them about our car wash being closed (open 8am-7pm). The arresting officer (yes she was arrested) was a frequent customer of our car wash and he gave me the story that dispatch told him. She was arrested for 'DWLR Not Impaired'.

[@stilltoomanyhats]

4:35 sadly, the case remains cold.

[@eggyt1153]

☃️

[@LSSmoon_ye]

Funny number on the likes has been incinerated

[@mizukittyakinyama]

100th like, that's pretty cool!

[@GriffinForte]

104

[@milesmansfield]

Matt, I can’t help but notice that you’re approaching 1 million subscribers. You know you can get emojis on play buttons now? isn’t there a certain human head bone emoji you’re especially fond of?

[@VoidStaresback]

Please never call it that again.

[@IAmTheCoastalGhost]

HUMAN HEAD BONE EMOJIIIII

[@AmeliaEarhart53756]

YAY HUMAN HEAD BONE EMOJIIIIIIIIIIIII

[@SotraEngine4]

Matt gotta make a KZbin comment video for it

[@AuleTheSmith37]

You mean the cranium emoticon?

[@thelonelyghost1634]

1:23 "just wanted to call you guys to make you aware I'm in possession of two *flexes* unregistered guns"

[@HappyNarrative]

I used to work in the emergency department of a local hospital and this just brought back a tooonnnn of memories. Objectively typing triage notes about butt removal stuff is such a learned skill. Seeing “Rectal trauma” was so cryptic lol. A massive zucchini, unbroken lightbulb, pink still vibrating marital aid (that one had to be surgically removed), and a small electric toy hamster were all during my watch. And all grown men. 🎉

[@IBathedKeanuReeves]

How many of them claimed they fell on them? Honestly, I'd be more surprised if anyone admitted they were exploring their inner world when asked why they have a large object in their rectum.

[@Shannon-f8w]

Not the lightbulb! That's terrifying.

[@annareverie13]

3:56 sounds like an emergency frog situation

[@m310grass]

Emergency Frog Situation!!! ‼️🚨🆘🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🆘🚨‼️

[@Jupiter-T]

Ok you win

[@Friendly-Neighborhood-Asexual]

*_Bonetrousle_*_ begins playing_

[@valerielevasseur8674]

But is the cold deer opaque or clear?

[@m310grass]

@@valerielevasseur8674 turn that opaque deer clear

[@eliasmg9144]

3:17 tbf, it's not uncommon to have a heart attack for taking viagra

[@0Pawprint0]

I’m glad you read out "drunk and disorderly" tbh because it would’ve absolutely taken me a full minute to realize the D&D in this context is not, in fact, Dungeons and Dragons. I may be stupid… end of sentence :’)

[@michaeldoerrler2363]

8:51 emergency fog situation ☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

[@locamiGI]

❤❤❤❤❤hi

[@Monarkofseals]

Why did I read that as frog? I guess I’m just used to seeing “EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION”

[@genericname2747]

We are number one

[@peterhowareyoudoingthat]

@@locamiGIh❤i

[@TheCosmicDiamond]

When I was little I called 911 on the chuck e cheese mascot because "he was too creepy for little kids". I saw police officers in the parking lot on the way out. But they weren't here for Chuck e cheese lol.

[@theo-parabola]

1:30 As someone with a severe peanut allergy I must say that packing peanuts are a major threat, and could possibly trigger an EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION!!!

[@TheCreepyPastaArchives]

*Throws packing peanuts at you*

[@naevithekittycat]

@TheCreepyPastaArchives, *gottem*

[@LeviTheOnlyBloxxer]

E m e r g e n c y F r o g S i t u a t i o n ! ! !

[@Nuggn-i1b]

*we are number one starts playing*

[@floorman7076]

*E M E R G E N C Y F R O G S I T U A T I O N ! ! !*

[@kiti_cat524]

9:41 "911 whats your emergency" "its my birthday"

[@Kinglovinstone]

"we'll be arriving shortly"

[@mizukittyakinyama]

and then the police, firefighters and ambulances rushed to the scene

[@ashleesmith580]

0:52 Fun Fact: I once had an officer come to my house because someone had supposedly "reported" that someone was pouring paint down the gutter and the officer had "tracked it down" to my house. I informed him that my neighbors have a bazillion pine trees and that it had rained recently, making the pollen look like thick yellow liquid.

[@Amy_the_Lizard]

Okay, if the pubes guy actually was having an allergic reaction to the dye, that COULD actually qualify as an emergency depending on how bad it was

[@Headspr0uter]

1:19 Johnny Bravo: "Hello 911 emergency? There's a handsome guy in my house. Oh, heh. Wait a minute cancel that, it's only me." 😎

[@gimbrol]

3:55 I think the frog on the doorstep was an understandable call, that could have been an emergency frog situation.

[@rat_dragon]

I can just imagine this: "Let's examine the scene" **walks over to the body** "Um...that's a potato" 😂😂

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Reminds me of a line from The X-Files episode "Humbug": "We're exhuming your... uh, potato?" Context: They thought someone had been burying a body, but he was just burying a potato by moonlight to... cure warts, alright- that sounds weirder even IN context...

[@danuostret1900]

My younger cousin once called 112 because he had trouble with an essay for English

[@while_coyote]

When I was in 1st grade, I mistook ordinary vans for kidnappers a lot, so I almost called the police because I saw a van parked across the street from my school, but my parents took the phone out of my hand before I could call 911. It was an Amazon delivery van and it was parked outside of a house to deliver things to them.

[@gaspshichat]

someone once called 911 on me and my cousin for sitting in my uncle's car while eating cheesecake. before calling 911, they asked us what we were eating and got angry when we said cheesecake because they were allergic

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

Wow, that person sounds extremely self-centered. They think that just because they can’t have cheesecake, no one else should be allowed to? Mega yikes. My sister has a dairy intolerance, and I distinctly recall a time when someone brought our family cheesecake, which she obviously couldn’t have, but instead of making a fuss about the rest of us eating it, she just went and got herself a doughnut instead. She was, at this point, under the age of ten.

[@jennyjokela1656]

Emergency tiny frog situation🚨❗️‼️🐸❗️‼️🚨

[@Sonic-fan1234-v6i]

8:09 oh well I think I’ve got a good reaction clip for thi- *ad*

[@DuoEditzYT]

I got a bible ad

[@theominouspigeon]

I forgot that the emergency number in america was 911 so for a split second I was like "how could you call 9/11?" 💀 (edit: im not even british)

[@Jatb1]

Our British minds 💀💀💀

[@danuostret1900]

" Yeah hello, I think you illegally parked your plane in the fucking world trade center"

[@alicebthegachaweirdo8378]

In Sweden the emergency number is 112

[@lumieas]

SKUHULL EMOJIIIIII

[@personlookingatyoutubevideos]

oh 9/11

[@Robot3k]

To be fair, the potato at 2:14 looks exactly like a human toe.

[@nathanhaimson]

Yeah and it makes sense they didn't want to touch it to confirm and mess up a crime scene just in case it actually was a body 🤣

[@oliveregas3878]

matt rice

[@personlookingatyoutubevideos]

Matt rice is my favourite KZbinr

[@nostalgicsheep]

Matt Rice??

[@KindlyKalen]

Fax 🗣️🔥🥶

[@turkey_sandwhich]

mattress rice

[@TH3HAZB1NZ_]

MATT RICE LOL

[@ashgoat4792]

thank you i needed this, todays my first day of college and my mom and I argued and now i’m crying but have to get ready this is helping me calm down edit: I HAD AN AMAZING FIRST DAY! Maybe I should call 911 because you guys are too kind. Thank you

[@moonpie21012]

Good luck with the rest of your university experience, its not easy but its worth it!🙂

[@KanawhaCountyWX]

Best of luck in your journey.

[@harbingerofham]

good luck!! i hope you and your mom patch things up soon

[@Alex-kn4gk]

Good luck

[@PizzA_TimE]

Good luck!!

[@bananabuttersomethin]

"911 what is your emergency?" "I nailed my finger to a birdhouse accidentally."