Customer Service Brainrot

Genuinely had to leave my mic in rice to dry after this.

[@MadJaz]

_matt rosalicious_

[@bentshaggyoil]

thank you

[@LifeWKai]

Definition:

[@Bricky_2009]

Matt Rambo

[@splatana.armed.m0th]

Matt rosa..what?

[@Cannotoad1201]

F

[@wolfiiu]

if i ever told my waiter i needed a minute to look at the menu and they just said “it’s time” i think i’d have a panic attack lmao😭

[@lanskandal1181]

Lmao same

[@RooftopRose079]

*sweats profusely, heart races* I’m not ready for this exam!

[@Xnoob545]

Nah it would be better if the waiter started saying: "60, 59, ..."

[@noahfuc7131]

@Xnoobspeakable I’ve done that one before. It usually gets a chuckle. Had to stop because elderly women ruin everything fun

[@Mirka-]

"😨"

[@PoeticNugget]

“They are drastically improved by being read out by a middle aged British man.” Yes, yes indeed.

[@therealkayr15]

relatable

[@Ramsey276one]

5:33

[@gurrrn1102]

I’m older than him, am I middle aged now?

[@PoeticNugget]

@@gurrrn1102 yessir

[@spacenaves]

​@@gurrrn1102That would make you a senior citizen I fear

[@MasterArchfiend]

Okay, but telling someone who buys something that is known to give users cancer “Good luck” is both kind and evil. I love it.

[@cainprescott4937]

It's like that thing games sometimes do where you make a questionable decision and the game goes "are you SURE?".

@@cainprescott4937 Suddenly Chris Morris…

[@digitaldritten]

@@cainprescott4937 Are you certain that whatever you're doing is worth it?

[@katie7748]

Wait til you find out about food, sunscreen, modern medicine, tap and bottled water, hygiene products... The hippie dippies and cOnSpiRaCy ThEoRiStS are right.

[@vitaminademorango]

Chaotic Good

[@ribbonduckling1314]

My favorite brain rot story happened 6 months ago. I was tired and the store was closing soon. A girl and her dad were debating whether they want a bag. My dumbass said "There are lots of things you can do with a bag, like choke a baby." The girl was mortified but the dad was laughing. Took me a minute to realize what I said.

[@LazyParakeet]

you made me choke on my drink and spit it out

[@aboxinspace]

I would definitely buy a bag after that

[@defetya]

​@@aboxinspacewonder what did you do with that bag afterwards

[@TimBurtonPrincess]

This whole video reminds me a lot of a story I read once, where this woman had worked at Walmart, but quit and switched to Target as her job. One day, she had to make an announcement, and she said "Attention, Walmart shoppers!". She realized what she's doing, and quickly said, "You are in the WRONG store!"

[@everett9199]

WOW that was an epic save on her part 👏👏

[@cainprescott4937]

Quite nice of her to assist chronically lost Walmart shoppers.

[@skinkshamer]

great take on improv, props to her 👏

[@skinkshamer]

great take on improv, props to her 👏

[@skinkshamer]

great take on improv, props to her 👏

[@Eiji_Kirishima]

Never forget the time I couldn’t remember what the word for thirsty was and asked one of the customers “are you water- do you- water hungry?” 💀

[@WildArtistsl]

Water hungry 😂 i love this

[@Eiji_Kirishima]

@@WildArtistsl I cried for a week in bed after this 😭

[@fukkthisnewupdate8882]

​@@Eiji_Kirishima you must have been really water-hungry after that

[@littleredhen8205]

This needs to be higher up, lmfao.

[@tirushone6446]

💀

[@CaeiseSorewynn]

When I was at university I was working Sunday morning in KFC. I wasn't really awake yet, as it was like 7 am, so when someone ordered coffee, I automatically said "Of course, with bacon and cheese?". Customer said "yes". We stared at each other for good few seconds while our brains slowly worked out what the hell happened.

[@CaeiseSorewynn]

Also, I rang up customer that wanted a shake. While I was giving him his order he asked for ketchup, so I asked "...for shake?". "OH NO I SWEAR I HAVE FRIES"

[@Shafas_GachaWorld]

😂❤🤣

[@spazemfathemcazemmeleggymi272]

At least you both hadn't woke up yet😂

[@motherknowsbest1192]

you were in it together

[@TyrannosaurusRex..]

5:50 I don’t get this one?

[@Mossyplush]

I once said "What" in the most monotone voice. It started with the normal customer service "Hello, welcome to McDonald's! Will you be using out mobile app today?" "No, give is just a moment please!" "Alright, order whenever you're ready!" ... ... ... "Hey, I have a question" (In the most monotone and almost angry voice): "What." They broke down laughing

[@ponyta_lover_Boo]

I too would probably break down laughing

[@GoAway3729]

im imagining chris pratt what from that one marvel movie i havent seen and i have broken down laughing

[@ewanb1086]

​@@GoAway3729now I know that sounds bad

[@GahlranCosplay]

I had a similar experience once a long time ago. The guy at the register was (understandably) wanting his Veterans Discount, I was new and didn't really know how to apply it at the time. So I basically said, in the most lifeless, soul crushed voice possible: "Oh yeah I think we have that. I'll go check." I wanted to die after that so badly lol.

[@BENDYKILLER698]

@@GahlranCosplayi could never work at a register, even if i wasnt an introvert i mess up everything i say, i gotta think for like 10 minutes until I've figured out what i want to say just to say it somewhat flawlessly 💀

[@drew2789]

The idea of a server asking you "do you have an umbilical cord" had me dry heaving

[@Vanta526]

No. I haven’t had a umbilical cord for 13 year.

[@freakyfreakster69]

@@Vanta526i do 🥰🥰

[@maybemablemaples2144]

Bloodborne intensifies

[@clarenzabalorio8570]

It was at 0:53 after he said "SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES EMOJI"

[@SamanthamusPrimeV28050]

I swear I'd scream "YO! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, OLDHEAD?!?!?!?" if someone asked me "do you have an umbilical cord?"

[@showshortage4684]

Never gonna forget the time I walked up to a table and wanted to say "Can I get an appetizer to get you started?" And also "Would you like an appetizer to start you off?" What I actually said was, "Would you like an appetizer to get you off?"

[@thebdqjet7974]

English is just such a 🤌✨FaNtAsTiC lAnGuAgE✨

[@nathanhaimson]

I would have been like HELL YEAH. Y'all got mozz sticks?? 😩🤌

[@MidnightAndLuna]

😂😂😂😂

[@MidnightAndLuna]

@@nathanhaimsonsame

[@michaeledmunds7056]

At least you didn't say "can I get you off?"

[@SuburbaniteUrbanite]

I guarantee you that the manager seriously considered keeping “dougalicious” as a permanent greeting

[@halfsine]

*dougalicious*

[@JiggyThe1st]

*Skullemoji* licious

[@livingonhighvibe]

you would think as a normal person. Managers in these establishments are full of themselves, micromanaging, etc. The person prolly got yelled at or written up.

[@L0LB1T1SN3AR]

dougalicious

[@OhSoStrawburi]

Dougalicious

[@Barely.Beth06]

I remember I was seating a family of 4 once. After they got seated, I looked at the woman and asked her “I’ll bring over some kids menus. Three, right?” She looked at me all confused and then told me they just needed two. One of the people, who I assumed was another kid, was in fact her husband

[@Foxiz]

Once when I was drunk, I walked in to a gas station to buy more alcohol, and it was *very* expensive. So I said to the cashier; "- THIS IS A ROBBERY!", realized what I had just said and quickly added; "by YOU! BY you! It's so expensive, it feels like you're robbing me!" Nailed that one! 😅

[@Xnoob545]

close one

[@pissapocalypse]

Whew that almost went bad

[@Mcasii15]

Fucken nailed it dude

[@thunderibiscuitz7893]

He had us in the first half ngl

[@roflBeck]

Dodged a bullet there, your own bullets.

[@kelseyjaffer]

I worked at Starbucks for years. They make you call out “Welcome in!!” to anyone who walks through the door. I was sitting in my old Starbucks at one point last year working on my laptop (I don’t work there anymore), saw a person walk in out of the corner of my eye, and yelled out “WELCOME IN!!”. They didn’t say anything to me…the random person working on their laptop who had just enthusiastically welcomed them into the Starbucks

[@Elitx]

i would've just walked out and never returned

[@breadgenie3414]

Lmao I’ve had a similar thing happen to me in a store, except I was the stranger getting greeted. I honestly found it quite amusing and just went “thanks!!”. You could see how embarrassed the accidental greeter was in the beginning, but we both ended up laughing after I greeted back.. Makes me just a tad sad that the stranger in your story ignored you 🫠

[@subsoar5734]

i used to do this on break. i’d take my apron off and be sitting in the lobby and accidentally confuse the hell out of customers

[@C.I...]

"Welcome in" doesn't even make sense as a thing for the staff to say...

[@LukeySkywookie]

that's just muscle memory... or I guess mental memory?

[@madpandakira4774]

I once greeted a customer by saying "hi how are you?" To which they said "good, how are you?" And I replied "doing alright! How are you?" And I think we would have just kept doing this if his wife hadn't started laughing at us. I have never been able to look this man in the eye since

[@alexaar4951]

ive done this as well but what i do the most is that i greet a customer and then they follow up with "hows it going?" or "how are you?" and it never fully registers in my brain so i just scan their groceries in silence. i always feel so horrible 😭 like i realise i never replied but then it's too late now to reply because i only realised 10 seconds later and yeah 😭

[@thebdqjet7974]

It actually took me an extra couple of seconds to realize the job brainrot moment in this comment, I had to read it TWICE (almost became an extra 3rd try too), I think this is a sign for me for the future 😭😭😭

[@roflBeck]

Think I've done that, I just add in a "Oh yeah, I said that already, haha."

[@Ghiaman1334]

I've done that at least twice lmao

[@p0lusthegremlin]

I do this often

[@alissamarquardt]

I worked for a call center like 20 years ago and this is when customers were first learning to pay online. I had to do a temporary password reset for a customer and the only parameter was I tried to use was something simple so the customer could get back in to reset. I once told the customer "Ok, your temporary password is password - Capital P, lowercase assword". As soon as it was out of my mouth, the lady on the other line burst out laughing. I apologized profusely and my company loved playing the recorded call in training sessions. A friend told me they used it to train new employees on what not to do for years afterwards 😂😂

[@solong_abigail]

omg id be so embarrassed but glad it could be of use to others 😂

[@Evoimations]

This works for two video sequels.

[@lorenalulu5765]

Worked at an escape room for two years always had to give big speeches and always be “in character”. Got a side seasonal job Hot Topic and answered the phone with “Hello what are you escaping today!”. Terrified the person on the other end 😭💀💀

[@highqualitygrunt8195]

If the person was ordering off hot topic they might have been excited

[@alexstuff21]

everybody thanks Matt for everything but nobody thanks his mic, it goes through a lot to make these videos happen, so I'll say it, THANK YOU MATT ROSE’S MICROPHONE

[@Gaons.hair_]

I think we should thank his wife too. thanks, Matts wife

[@seplol]

⁠​⁠@@Gaons.hair_dont forget his chair. thanks, matt’s chair

[@queerwizard]

mattrophone

[@mixiekins]

especially on this one, thanks mic for taking a swig of backwash for the team. absolute MVP.

[@AnimationEvi]

Matt: **Gargles and then sprays beer all over the microphone**

[@tanini5740]

I used to work as a barista, and when I handed someone their coffee they asked if it was the lactose free one, and I just said "I hope so" and walked away. I actually didn't even know.

[@Xnoob545]

💀

[@0_dearghealach_083]

💀

[@leobragaurbe]

IM WHEEZING RN 😭😭

[@DefNotEnder]

💀

[@Bubblegum-Cupcake]

💀

[@natedavis3441]

I work at Chick- fil - A, so when I worked up front it was policy to say the characteristic "My Pleasure". One time I went to say "my pleasure" and "no problem" at the same time and instead said, while looking them dead in the eye, "No pleasure. My problem. I"m sorry."

[@lucasbabyflores1536]

Mood💀

[@Borealis109]

Sounds like you’re about to jump them

[@munchkin6345]

A few days ago I had ordered something from Starbucks and the lady tried to say "have a nice day" and "have a lovely day" and ended up just telling me "have a lice!" I was with a friend and we stared at her, completely confused, until she explained. We laughed with her, then said the same thing to another customer about ten minutes later 💀 She was awesome

[@CiCodiCadno]

That lady infected you with a cognitohazard

[@CartmanProd]

I've done this same thing lol

[@Rinalyyn]

one time I was serving a family with a baby, the mom was in the middle of feeding the baby baby food and said “open wide for the food plane” and I just instinctively opened my mouth, I stood there for a few seconds with the family just watching until I started to walk away with my jaw gaping open, _still holding their food._ I had to go back and apologise

[@Rinalyyn]

most embarrassing thing ive ever done tbh

[@polkadotss]

LMFAOOOO

[@therealsilly]

I WOULD DIE BRO 💀

[@HCR_]

L

[@Tyuf_]

​@@Rinalyynthis. this is the absolute worst one of them all and it's in the comment section of all places

[@thedorkknight9684]

a friend of mine once discorded me through tears of laughter because her coworker was using the store's loudspeaker system and accidentally defaulted to his old job, saying "Attention K-Mart shoppers-" before panicking and realizing it was the wrong store. they work at bed bath and beyond.

[@YarrBr0]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Wildflower485]

RIP to both these stores

[@0_dearghealach_083]

"Attention, K-Mart shoppers! You're in the wrong store! Please leave!"

[@Mega-Brick]

@@0_dearghealach_083 I'd kill to have this kind of joke become a regular loudspeaker occurrence on April Fool's Day.

[@shadowxxe]

I once dialed the wrong number at work. A man with litterally the deepest voice ive heard answers and goes "Hello?" and i proceed to ask "Hi, is this claire I'm speaking to" this was followed by the man erupting into laughter pn the other end

[@MiloTheMightyDude]

Over my time as a cashier, I came to realize that when I said "Have a nice day," I really meant "Please leave." The day I accidentally said what I meant felt like I had a hole digged through me.

[@blizzard_the_seal9863]

direct and to the point! also absolutely hilarious to picture in my head LMAO

[@RyanTosh]

The worst is when I accidentally tell people to have a nice day before they've paid, and instantly realize and instinctively go "wait never mind"

[@vaporcobra]

god that's too real

[@spideraba769]

@@RyanTosh I'm sorry, Ma'am, nice days are for paying customers only.

[@livingonhighvibe]

I would have laughed my ass off. haha

[@yahiamice_cantaloupe]

"Edward will be your sedward", funniest thing I've heard in my entire life. Almost sounds like a Nickelodeon show from the mid 2000's

[@SquiddyBonneBouche]

Yes 😂😂😂

[@AdeleEevee]

true ytp vibes 🤣

[@SERGEANTJACKSONAUTTP]

@@AdeleEevee now that's a word i haven't heard in a long time...

[@TRMofYT]

My name is Edward XD

[@cheeseburgermonkey7104]

@@AdeleEevee FR

[@hithere2741]

Matt’s like a humour amplifier, I laugh more at these things if he reads it out loud.

[@The360MlgNoscoper]

Reminds me of Soothouse. British people are somehow the funniest and least funny people on Earth.

[@gurllovesdragons]

Can confirm

[@gurllovesdragons]

Can confirm

[@gurllovesdragons]

Can confirm

[@The360MlgNoscoper]

@woah_silly_goober Can confirm

[@hellagia2151]

My favorite that I got REMEMBERED for was when I went to Pizza Hut and tried to order a pepperoni pizza and said “a large hand tossed pizza.” They go “toppings?” “Pizza.” Had a guy call me “pizza on pizza” when I came in next. XD

[@blufferfish0896]

I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve tried to tell a customer to have a good day and have a nice day, and ended up telling them to “have a nice gay”

[@Blxe_Angel]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@brinleyhamer729]

have agice gay

[@loneshadow0844]

Have a nice gay Have a good evening (it's morning shift) Have a good morning (it's evening shift) Have a -um -hmm (customer already left) -have a good day.

[@Sqwidiot]

oh, I certainly will ;3

[@oren1305]

Damn, glad I'm not the only one.

[@Dogeycorgi]

As someone who has never been in customer service, I can’t relate but I can laugh

[@Florb_Underscore46]

Real

[@Cannotoad1201]

F Edit: how did I get 8 likes just by typing the letter f I was just spamming it on random comments

[@jwalster9412]

As someone who as worked outside of customer service, and basically never deals with people I laughed.

[@sodacanimations]

same

[@timesnewlogan2032]

You are one of the luckiest people alive, then.

[@jules_is_tired]

i have my own announcement horror story. i work at ulta, and i finally memorized one of our announcements and had ran through it without the script once that day. i tried to do it again and blanked part of the way through, so i ended up saying, "attention ulta beauties! do you want to save 20%... OH NO" and i tried to hang up the phone but I DROPPED IT WHILE THE LOUDSPEAKER WAS STILL ON SO IT WAS DEAFENING AND EVERYONE IN THE STORE WITNESSED IT. my coworkers laughed at me for the rest of the day

[@0_dearghealach_083]

That's hilarious!

[@Eatbutternow]

I used to work in a grocery store. Once I was walking down a busy isle and had to squeeze past a very large woman. She was putting a package of bacon in her shopping cart. I meant so say excuse me to her, but instead I looked her right in the eyes and said ”cannibalism” with a big smile in my face.

[@kingluigi3820]

I’m not religious, but it’s a god given miracle that you’re even alive to this day

[@handsomepenguin.7659]

LMFAOOOO

[@danmartin7823]

@@kingluigi3820No, he just forgot to mention the part where he outran her.

[@averagecoffeefan]

Oh my god 😭

[@thewinterprince1731]

I worked at a McDonalds part-time for three years after high school. One night, I was at home getting ready for bed, and I was preparing to say my nightly prayer. I started the prayer with "Welcome to McDonalds-" then caught myself and broke into a fit of laughter. I had just welcomed God to a McDonalds that I wasn't even in at the time. It was that night that I decided it was time to get out of there. X3

[@kendrahall5902]

Rotflmao!!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@EASgirl25]

that’s real funny

[@technicolourmyles]

This is one of the best things I've ever read on the internet

[@trevorendeavors7972]

Was He able to fix the ice cream machine at least?

[@Preinstallable]

McDonalds in Heaven has always working ice cream machine, perpetual mcrib and shamrock shake

[@CaptainObliviousV]

Honestly, I have so much respect for customer service workers. One time me and my family were heading home from a vacation, it was early in the morning, I was still half asleep, and we stopped at a McDonald’s for breakfast. I really wanted a pie, but didn’t know if I wanted apple or cherry so I decided to get both. When it was my turn to order I stared the cashier lady in the eyes and said “I would like two *apple* pies, one apple and one cherry.” Bless her heart, either she was still tired too or she was used to this kind of thing, because she didn’t even bat an eye, meanwhile my dad is trying his best to not laugh, my sister is rolling on the floor in hysterics, and my mom also not being a morning person was just as clueless to what I said as I was. I was completely mortified once I realized what I had said, but hey at least I got my pies.

[@kr0kon]

if you hadn'tve put the apple bit in bold i wouldn't of noticed either T-T

[@soupcangaming662]

I wonder if she was conflicted on one apple pie, one cherry or 2 apple pies, another apple pie, and a cherry pie. Or 2 apple pies, an apple, and a cherry.

[@devononair]

I suppose the worst is you could have ended up with four pies!

[@deltazangoose3711]

As someone who used to work at a McDonalds through my teenage years I can confirm I *did* get this sort of thing a lot and was definitely used to it.

[@mabogibo525]

So you got your pisssssss

[@sturmovik1274]

Several weeks after I started working at Walgreens, I was home alone late one night. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my cat walk into the room... and I turned and asked her if I could help her find anything.

[@katie7748]

I met my husband at a Walgreens 😊

[@veveastrid]

I work at an asian fast food place that has spring rolls as well as noodles. A person in the drive once tried to order 6 noodles, and I was like you mean 6 packages, he said no I mean 6 noodles. I was so stunned and told him we don't sell noodles individually, this confused him. The back and forth continued until I asked if he meant something other than noodles, turns out he didn't realize that he had said the word noodle in place of spring rolls for the past two minutes

[@samissomewhere4573]

I used to work at a donut shop. When referring to the donut holes, a man asked "how much is half a dozen?" I said "six." He meant the price.

[@Muchacho1994]

S I X

[@skullmastergamer]

What if it was $6 lol

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Technically correct.

[@pyxlated_void4719]

I love how you have to click the read more button too see the end

[@Evoimations]

I think I just found the newest entry for r/technicallythetruth.

[@thedancingparamedic]

here’s a story that actually happened to me today. I’m a paramedic and I had a patient that thanked me for my help once we got him into his room in the ER and I replied with “no, thank YOU” and left. I was like, did I just thank this man for having a medical episode?

[@velvetbutterfly]

Depending on what country you're in it could be taken as "thank you for keeping me employed" or "thanks for your money"

[@ashiningsoul449]

I'm currently just an EMT but I wanna go to the paramedic level. I can absolutely see myself doing this.

[@TheCreateCraftJurassic]

Once my teacher told a story of how the waiter went around and asked her, “how is your food?” My teacher said that it was bad, and the waiter said “great!” And walked away. Later she came back and said, “Excuse me, did you say you didn’t like it?”

[@LeonyxHasBigDumbEnergy]

Working at a little cafe once, had a regular came in (who I knew quite well) and he ordered a hot tea from me. I rang him up, turned to start his tea, and was just talking away to him. When I was done, I popped the lid on, turned back to him, handed it off and went, “Careful. It’s… tea.” I meant to say that it was hot, but my brain had shut off a long time before then. I was on hour 8 of a 10 hour shift, with no break. He opened the lid, and acted scared to see it to make me laugh (which worked) as I slowly slunk to the floor in embarrassment.

[@LeonyxHasBigDumbEnergy]

@batrachianbill9760 sadly, not everywhere has laws that help or favor employees. Where I worked at the time I worked there was one of them.

[@konservedpeanuts]

While doing an internship for school at Hemköp (a Swedish grocery store), an old lady told me that God had made me work there because he hated me. She told me this after her having found the specifically non-organic lentils that I had failed to point out the location of a few minutes prior. This was truly an eye opening experience for 14-year old me, I have had nothing but respect for everyone working in the service industry since.

[@Jennilynne]

Y'know. Reading this I realized that even though I've worked somewhere that sells groceries for years now that I have people ask if we carey something explicitly in organic but never non-organic 🤔

[@michaelk.3715]

I work in a hardware store and once a customer pointed me out to his kid and said something like "that's why you should stay in school".

[@sensifacient]

@michaelk.3715 I got that one too when I was cashiering in a craft shop. A lady said to her daughter, "If you don't go to college, you'll end up like HER." I was like, "I'm actually going to college right now!" and she gave me SUCH a vicious glare, haha.

[@konservedpeanuts]

​@@michaelk.3715It's weird because I was very much a 14 year old who was very much still in school.

[@womp3571]

Hur fick du jobb på hemköp så liten??? ingen affär kring mig vill ge jobb åt MINST en 17 åring på typp feriejobb :')

[@ceaslug9791]

I work at Starbucks, and one time I was asking a customer for her name. When she answered I was going to respond with “oh, perfect!” But instead I tripped up on my words and said , “oh, person!” Like I was surprised to see a human being in the drive through.

[@NightZoneDE]

I mean, it's Starbucks... are the customers there even human?

[@unrenewable]

gender-neutral "oh man"

[@EatAnOctorok]

Post-apocalyptic Starbucks romance story when?

[@ceaslug9791]

@@NightZoneDE I ask myself that question on the daily.

[@sunnobeats]

when i was 13 and worked at a cafe for a school project there was this day where the apple pie with whipped cream was really popular and i got used to spraying the cream. at some point there was this guy who put his hand out (he wanted a napkin) and i nodded and said "yes sir" AND SPRAYED THE CREAM ON HIS HAND. he was absolutely shocked to the core and i hid in the bathroom for the next 30 minutes.

[@Xnoob545]

Lmfao

[@nannikira]

you had a job at THIRTEEN---- man i'm fifteen and i still can't get a job😭😭😭(i want one cuz i want money of my own)

[@yn262]

@@nannikirareal but they said it was for a school project so it likely was for a short time

[@technophobian2962]

​@@nannikiraEnjoy the free time while it lasts. It's nice to be financially independent, but the free time you get as a teen is pretty nice too.

[@AstsUnfound]

the fact im thirteen and is prone to doing this makes it ten times funnier.

[@skullmastergamer]

Imagine the guy calling that “Douglas” place and just hearing the other person say “dougalicious” and then they hang up

[@rainyparade7867]

One time when I was selling girl scout cookies, I attempted to call out to a woman passing the front of the store, "Do you want to buy some girl scout cookies?" BUT INSTEAD, I SLAMMED my hands onto the cookie table, and YELLED "HEY! YOU WANT TO GO?" My friends were of course all there selling as well. They never let me live this down.

[@averyholmes5394]

That woman probably got the life scared out of her

[@enzoqueijao]

​@@averyholmes5394 Only two things can truly scare me in this life: hippos and little girls

[@Brass319]

at that point you've just gotta commit to it and jump the counter

[@andromeda_va39]

Aaand I just peed myself a little

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Damn, Girl Scouts are really determined to sell their cookies, even ready to start throwing hands.

[@2nukitv218]

As someone who currently works in customer service I laughed harder than I normally do because of how relatable some of these were. I once confidently told someone “Good morning!” It was the very end of my shift and was quite dark out. I was also outside at the time as well.

[@Code7Unltd]

>"Good Morning" >dark outside Are you sure that wasn't in the early morning?

[@2nukitv218]

@@Code7Unltd Nope, I was night shift.

[@NoriMori1992]

I would always accidentally say "have a good day" when it was night, or keep saying "have a good weekend" after the weekend had ended. So I just gave up and would always say "have a good one." Can't ever be wrong with that one.

[@anxiety_ridden3]

​@@2nukitv218 was it past midnight

[@nathanhaimson]

Oof, I've done that before. I was usually on closing shifts, but I would occasionally open, and I was so used to saying "have a good night", I would sometimes say that to people at like 6am.

[@littlebird8515]

worked as a CVS cashier and one night it was really slow so I chilled out next to the pharmacy desk taking to the pharmacist about video games. An old dude came in and picked up a prescription and the pharmacist said: "That'll 28 dollars and 68 fucking cents." to which she immediately apologized to him profusely because he was very polite and nice. Me and the other pharmacists were cry-laughing, and the old dude was really cool with it and laughed too.

[@roflBeck]

That's pretty funny, I like that.

[@literallytrash1869]

Not customer service related, but it reminded me of this story from a few weeks ago: I work as a mechanic in assembly and I had to remove a little item by drilling it out because I assembled it in the wrong place. It was a plastic item however and it melted a little in the process. I had to order a new one so I went to one of the responsible quality inspectors and I wanted to say "Can you order a new one, it got damaged during assembly" but I completely forgot what I wanted to say so instead I looked him silently in the eyes and said "it melted" with no context as to what melted and started laughing because it sounded so stupid.

[@AvenRox]

Could you *imagine* being that customer calling, hearing the person on the other end say "dougalicious" and then having the call abruptly end

[@quincylancer]

Nice to know this happens to everyone. I worked at a grocery store and asked a guy if he had a rewards card for the store as I was giving him back the rewards card

[@yefr8r]

that happened to me multiple times.

[@tybeaud2904]

i've done that so many times 💀

[@VeraEdelman]

I’ve definitely asked people if they wanted a bag while putting their things in a bag

[@TarisLuna]

I answered the phone at work with "Hi mom."

[@AtticusKarpenter]

When you do something so many times, brain begin to try reduce amount of energy spent on that mundane task, and reduce HARD

[@LordCrate-du8zm]

As someone who doesn't work in customer service, I declare this extremely relatable.

[@TheCommentReviewer]

While this comment isn't awful, it uses an overused template and fails to offer unique perspective. 3/10

[@SuprSBG]

Yes

[@vibrantgleam]

@@TheCommentReviewer Who are you?

[@kiernanhowell-mackinley1733]

​@@vibrantgleamThey're a comment reviewer can't you read

[@MarbleFox162]

My sister worked at chick-fil-a. Her name is Alaina. In the drive thru, she had to say, “it’s a great day for chick-fil-a” and then their name, but she was really tired, and instead said “it’s a great day for chick-fil-aina” God bless her.

[@FinalFaith]

I worked at McDonald’s and one day a woman and her daughter came in and asked for an M&M Mcflurry. For some reason I could not for the life of me make an M&M McFlurry. So I made an Oreo one. And I threw it away. Then I made another Oreo McFlurry. And I threw it away. And another. And another. This went on probably 6-8 times at which the mother and daughter both just started feeling bad for me. The mother even called out “No!” as I was making what would be the last mistake that night. I just gave up and asked a co-worker to make them an M&M McFlurry. Deep down, maybe, I wanted them to have an Oreo McFlurry because I would never eat an M&M McFlurry. Theories still ongoing.

[@aynDRAWS]

I've been there. You make it wrong the first time, and then the second time, so you assure yourself you'll get it right this time but you second guess what's actually right and what's wrong and get stuck in a loop

[@0_dearghealach_083]

You musta really wanted an Oreo McFlurry.

[@agarcia3986]

LMAO clearly there was a love affair between you and the Oreos

[@Amazonianarya]

I had some pretty bad brainrot when I worked at CVS in the pharmacy. I was picked to do a PA for a customer, and hadn't done one before so I was like "Hello, hello, is this on?" all over the store, before I recognized it was on and finished the announcement with the other techs cracking up at my reaction. I also wanted to do a follow up call for a patient, reached his spouse, and she confusedly asked "isn't he there already?" I called the pharmacist's wife looking for him while he was working, 10 ft away from me.

[@reid3031]

Spent a decade in customer service, and I never will do it again, but I fondly remember the time I worked at the Best Buy complant desk, and I tried to tell someone "Stop harrassing Arash" (my coworker) but it came out as "Stop harrash her ass", and I paused in a fit of brain rot and confidently concluded "...her ashes." Dude slammed the desk and left.

[@ImaginaryAlchemist]

Well, it got him to leave so I'd say that's a win

[@aworthlessmanofnoworth7041]

i was reading the last part and said "dude slammed the left and desk" these comments are getting to me

[@SamuraiFluff]

My wife worked at a local diner. The sign was off but door was unlocked. My wife has a seizure condition and startling her can make her as she puts it "floppy fish". Sadly you can just walk past her sometimes when she is not expecting it and she will be started. Unbeknownst to her a local walked in and was expecting food an hour before opening. She had no idea he was there because she had headphones on. She turned locked eyes screamed bloody murder and collapsed. The guy was unfazed and still tried to ask the manger to take his order while the manger attended to my wife.

[@michelleadamchak1330]

Ah.....Matt, you could read a stereo instruction manual outloud and I would laugh. You, sir, are a comedic genius, and in a world where laughter is rare, you brighten my day immensely. Thank you! ❤🏵️♥️

[@MichaelDarrow-tr1mn]

i agree. matt please read a stereo instruction manual

[@eeyorehaferbock7870]

@@MichaelDarrow-tr1mnespecially one for a stereo created by some Japanese company that doesn’t even bother finding a proper translator for their manuals…

[@official-obama]

@@Abigblueworld you noticed that absolutely no one has ever liked your comments? i didn't

[@indomitablesloth2437]

I would also like the stereo instruction manual video

[@NobodyisAnybody]

@@Abigblueworld You’ve technically only written 32, but whatever

[@Maerahn]

I once worked in a pub restaurant where we had shorthand codes for all the items on the menu, that the kitchen and waiting staff used to comunicate the orders quicker. One of our specials was the spinach and mushroom lasagna, which, in kitchen code, was 'SML' and we verbally pronounced as "smell,' for speed. On one occasion, a waitress took an order out to a table of two people - a fish and chips and one of our spinach and mushroom lasagnas. She presented the fish and chips to the man with no issue, but when it came to his wife she accidentally used the kitchen code for the lasagna instead of the actual name - meaning she held it in front of her and said "SML?" (i.e "smell?") The look of fear and confusion on the face of the poor customer as she nervously leaned forward and obediently took a sniff of her lasagna..!

[@neprinadervogelweid1803]

7:16 "WE WILL WE WILL, SHIT SHIT. WE WILL WE WILL SHIT SHIT. CMON, SING IT."

[@handmadegoods]

I’m extremely embarrassed to admit that I very audibly did sing it. LOUDLY

[@MrMatthias]

Replying "Okay" to that customer telling them where to shove that pizza is kind of a power move, really

[@cameronblack7822]

this video was MADE for me- here’s some of my stories: i work at a restaurant and im a host so im consistently telling people to enjoy! (very enthusiastic) their meal. on more than one occasion someone has asked me for the location of our bathroom and after telling them and they say thank you i go “please enjoy!” the amount of awkward looks i’ve gotten is insane. also, one time i was helping out a customer over the phone and he said thank you and i was trying to say “no problem” and “my pleasure” and i said “my problems…. umm goodbye” and hung up. i was also helping with a doctor pepper sampling one time and we were giving out dr pepper zero sugar cans in dr pepper koozies and someone came up to me and asked if we were selling the koozies and i tried to tell him “they’re free” while also says “it’s dr pepper zero sugar” and looked this man dead in the eyes and said “it’s free sugar!” and shoved the can into his hands.

[@i.minpayne2561]

ah, my favorite verbal fuck-ups: "my problem" and its older brother "no pleasure"

[@miss.dazzle.05]

I work in retail and a customer I had helped left and told me to have a great day, and I just replied with “hi”. Realizing my mistake I yelled “WAIT NO HAVE A GREAT DAY” and startled the person next to me. I also once told someone the signs were on sale instead of “the sales are on the signs”. I’m usually an eloquent speaker but gosh dang it customer service brainrot really throws that out of the window.

[@jessicacallaghan8082]

The number of times I've said "good morning" when it's clearly nighttime; ended an order with "what can I get for you?" as I'm handing their card back; asked for their name multiple times even though I already wrote it down... Also I work at CFA so I'll often end an interaction with "My pleasure" even if they never said "thank you"... the worst though was like 10 minutes before close, I went to read out their total and just... forgot how to read numbers. Like I had to stop and think about what those symbols meant and how to pronounce them

[@AaronRotenberg]

"The sales are on the signs" is interesting because it could be interpreted as either: - "the items that are on sale are listed by signs"; or - the converse of "the signs are on sale", i.e. "any item that is on sale is a sign."

[@miss.dazzle.05]

@@jessicacallaghan8082 I’ve done the opposite….I usually close so when I do open, I often ask “what are we shopping for tonight” when it’s like 10:30 in the morning 😂 I used to work at CFA as well and it took forever to get out of the “my pleasure” habit

[@miss.dazzle.05]

@@AaronRotenberg I work at a clothing store so it’s obvious that the signs aren’t on sale but that’s hilarious 😂😂

[@jessicacallaghan8082]

@@miss.dazzle.05 honestly I just always seem to say the opposite of whatever it is... I've definitely said "good evening" at 8am

[@redforest9269]

8:03 Girl's mom: Who taught you to act like that? Girl: *points at cat* Cat: You have betrayed me for the last time, kitten!

[@JetSetDman]

your line delivery when saying "fucklet chodgecake" was immaculate

[@dean3507]

I used to work at a pet supply store. One day my boss was looking at the cans we put out and she didn’t like how we organized it. She grumbled something along the lines of “oh so stupid“ but I thought she said “Yum good soupy“ so I started cheering like “yes, very good soupy the dogs love it” and she was not impressed

[@livingonhighvibe]

a standard square, typical manager. Also, warrants a report to HR.

[@EvanOnPawzz14]

Yum good soupy. Love it.

[@doreririfasolatido]

im crying at this comment omg

[@wolfeyyy4226]

"that'll be all" "yeah I get that a lot" probably the perfect thing to say if someone is socially awkward with you as a worker, just to break the tension

[@RavenclawNimbus]

That one killed me

[@SeanIsAnxious]

My coworker once answered the phone and instead of saying “Papa’s Pizza, pick up or delivery?” Like we always do, she said “papa pleep plop” and just stood there for a minute registering what she said. I laugh everytime I think about it

[@ThisFreakingDuck]

You posted this the VERY SAME DAY I called a customer with a concern about their tub/shower not working, and told them that I’d heard they needed a help with some plub.

[@chelseawhite7117]

I picked up the phone at my job while looking at my boss hoping she would help me with the sheer volume of people calling in. Instead of asking the customer on the phone “can you hold?” I asked “can you help me?” Also Matt, normally idc how you refer to yourself- except you’ve identified yourself as being 33 recently, which is the same age as me, so can you …. PLEASE….. not call yourself “middle aged”? 😭🤣😭 we’ve got seven years left!

[@Jennilynne]

As someone who turned 40 late last year... Even I'm not ready 😢

[@ImaginaryAlchemist]

Bruh I just turned 30, there's no way I'm almost middle aged already 💀

[@maddythelion]

I'm 38 and definitely not middle-aged. Planning to live to 100. 😎

[@shapular]

Same SKULL EMOJIIIII

[@aboxinspace]

I'm 27 and I've felt middle-aged for the past 15 years 😂

[@lynneabrown4656]

I once did a closing announcement where I stuttered horribly and exclaimed "fuck-" and then restarted the announcement and ended it with "holy shit" because I thought I pushed the end button but it was still going and like four people stopped shopping just to stare at me 💀

[@Xnoob545]

ok this is extremely funny

[@lynneabrown4656]

@XnoobSpeakable I like to look back and laugh now, but I was so embarrassed at the time I had to step away for a breather lmaoooo

[@shay_d7907]

YOU DID THE DEATH NOTE SOUND EFFECT! YES!!! I feel like if I was in customer service, I would do all of these things in chronological order.

[@The_True_Joseph_Joestar]

Putting a card in a customers mouth is unbelievable, had me dying

[@JurassicGlitchy]

Sounds like a scene from a Mr. Bean episode tbh

[@meraklija316]

​@JurassicGlitchy and I feel it's absolutely something I could do because I'm distracted easily and tend to do things automatically.😂 Took the card -> should put it back where I took it -> to customer's mouth.

[@shellshockhkmk7816]

Matt is one of the KZbinrs who never fail to make me laugh no matter the mood. If you see this Matt, Hope your having a good start to your week

[@Matt_Rose]

Thanks, you too!!

[@stalin208]

Hi Matt Stalin loves you comrade.

[@DTAM-Aviation290]

@@Matt_Roseoi

[@imbored457]

I first read this as “no matter the food” and got confused, maybe it’s because I have food across the room but no energy to get it

[@Swift_Lemon]

@@imbored457........di did you get it?

[@liastaob]

I love that sausage selling picture, it genuinely looks like you're the only happy person there, and the two guys you're holding on to have absorbed like 10 percent of your happiness.

[@Arlosdarkcloset]

The fact that this video is what stopped me from having a mental breakdown is very telling as to where I'm at mentally

[@levipeterken4020]

Matt, thanks for providing invaluable content that I can fall asleep to (is that a compliment?)

[@iqzario4animations203]

Thought you were one of those annoying mr beast pfp people but it’s just a Pokémon lol

[@Matt_Rose]

Sleep well!! Sorry if my megaphone wakes you up 😬

[@cr_chain]

​@@Matt_Rose lol

[@Cannotoad1201]

F

[@iqzario4animations203]

@@Matt_Rose 😔 ofc you have to reply, now I won’t get likes😭😭😭 unless 😔👉👈

[@summershaffer9237]

I work at a Culvers and while taking an old man’s order, I heard one of my coworkers barking. after I finished I loudly asked “who is going feral back there?!?” the mic was still on.

[@TheStellarMars]

The rampaging gorilla in the corner:

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Coworker... barking?!

[@rivplaysgames]

I worked at a culvers for a bit, as an order taker (both window, and front) , and confidently said "The Chicken Is Out Of Season" to a drive customer. When I meant Out Of Stock. When they came to the window to pay for their order, I said "Out of season? Like its a fucking vegetable-" infront of them.... ....I will remember this for the rest of my life, surely.

[@rivplaysgames]

Also, honestly, people barking at Culver's does not surprise me. You get one of those long shifts and your brain turns to mush, fun times fr fr.😂

[@zerir.3726]

working at dq with a bunch of middleaged women and teenagers feel this a lot. Last week our manager called everyone to give them a weird pep talk and left the mic on while there was a line putside for everyone to hear it

[@sparkleshoe2224]

I worked in retail for two years, and the amount of times I led someone to a dressing room but was so tired I couldn’t string words together properly so I ended up telling a random customer who hadn’t done anything “thank you” and then just walking away is shameful.

[@djsnowpdx]

This is therapy for me. I panicked in front of another employee while trying to ask her to do something for a pair of customers where we were working, and when she agreed to do it, I said thanks! I love you.

[@duplollamaree1250]

as somebody with slow processing which can occasionally result in a less-than-fortunate spoonerism or incomprehensible/rude phrase, I felt every single one of these deep in my bones and I wish all of these people a swift and easy recovery

[@lemolea9571]

Yes! I have slow processing too and so many people have called me stupid for it. Like?? I'm not stupid I just take a bit longer to do stuff.

[@Kris.krisis]

Same 😭

[@blizzard_the_seal9863]

REALLLL theres a lot of space between my words when i talk specifically cause it takes me so long to find the words i want to say, its probably very much preferable over this lol (still annoying when ppl just say “never mind” and move on tho…… like bro wait a sec im getting there 😭)

[@lemolea9571]

@@blizzard_the_seal9863 So real. It also causes me to interrupt people a lot because by the time I've understood what's been said, they've started talking, it's so annoying. And sometimes I just don't finish sentences or say something wrong and my friends look at me weird because I thought I said something that made sense but forgot to say the end or whatever. I try to take my time to think out what I'm going to say but in a conversation it's hard to keep up that way so I just end up saying the first thing that comes to mind. It's gotten me in trouble a few times haha.

[@duplollamaree1250]

@@blizzard_the_seal9863 Oh my god I HAAATE when people just go "nvm :/" and move on like I WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!! /! gimme a minute

[@townsemikah]

I once mixed up the steps I was supposed to go through as a cashier so badly that I ended up asking the customer "Are you a phone?" I was supposed to first ask if they were a member of our rewards program, then ask for their phone # number if they were.

[@RV1701]

😂 😂 ahahaha oh man

[@ImaginaryAlchemist]

Reminds me of the time I was trying to ask a customer if they had an account with us. I usually say "are you a member with us?" or "do you have a phone number with us?" But my brain glitched and I said "do you have a member with us?" 🙃

[@aynDRAWS]

I have absolutely done this before---

[@johnnytheyoungmaestro]

I was at Wendy's during one of my lunch breaks a couple weeks ago, and I asked for a single burger, and then I actually asked the cashier: "Do you guys have a 6-piece Chicken McNuggets?" I instantly realized what I said. She jokingly said back to me: "We have a 6-piece Chicken Nuggets, we don't serve McNothing!" That was probably my dumbest moment at a restaurant. 😱🤣

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Pretty clever response on her part, lolol!

[@SpitfireKitty]

I was at the point of tears laughing while watching this. All you could hear from the other room was just a maniacal, "HeeHeheEehe" 🤣🤣 I didnt realize i needed a laugh so bad 😭

[@serenitywingss]

i was trying to eat while watching this and it was a mistake, i legitimately almost spat out my food laughing like five times. you're a freaking blessing matt rose lmao

[@devilsdaughter5338]

I will never forget the time I was in a pub in Cornwall, we had just ordered our food and drink and the waiter replied with ‘okay, I lo- I lov- I- I Uhm- I love you guys, I’ll get your drinks in a seconds’ he walked off smiling yet embarrassed and I didn’t see him again for the rest of the evening

[@sensifacient]

It's unbearably cute. I used to have to call people early to give them work assignments, and sometimes people who haven't woken up default to a sleepy little "okay...love you, bye" and my reaction was like 🥹 every time, lol

[@subjectverbargument9871]

bro forgot none of his friends can remember previous time loops 😔

[@thmxsz]

bro no please forget this shit ive done more then enough of this kind of dumb shit and i cant live with people remembering

[@ThatT3FESchoolBus]

I used to work at Chick-fil-A. My first day on the job, I placed down the trays and when the teenage girls told me “thank you”, I gave an awkward smile and said “My problem”. I was thinking of “No problem” and “My pleasure” at the same time.

[@nathanbarnes7217]

I work as a cashier in a grocery store. Once had a customer buying what looked to be some food platters, so I asked, "You guys having a party?" The customer looked at me and whispered, "It's for a funeral. " Never have I wanted to die quicker than that

[@midnightdemon5448]

Where I work we have to card every customer for alcohol sales, and sometimes I make a joke when ringing customers out by saying ‘oh sorry, the computer says you’re too young, we’ll have to put it back’ And one time I looked the customer in the eye and said with a completely straight face ‘Sorry, it says you’re too old’ to a guy that was maybe mid 30s?? I almost died 😭 😭 💀

[@ArtinVulpin]

I work at a local cafe and one time I was taking a customers order. They decided to order onion rings and that automatically comes with a sauce, including ranch. When asking them I tried to say "What kind of sauce would you like with that" but instead I said "What kind of ranch would you like with sauce?"

[@Zipesthemanokit]

This time I was the customer at a Mother's Day thing, and I gave the guy the right amount of money for a candle. Afterwards I said "Keep the change" because I saw it in movies and thought you just was meant to say it. I was like 7 and it still haunts me to this day...

[@Tabby.exe_]

“What would you like for dessert?” “Can I have the chocolate fudge cake?” “You mean the fucklet chodgecake?” “Yeah, that one!”

[@stevefurrier9932]

Its bettee thsn calling it a chocolate fuckcake

[@fractalisomega9517]

Was helping this lady out in the meat dept during thanksgiving and she was looking through all the turkeys, she asked me “Do these birds get any bigger?” I said “No ma’am they’re dead”

[@natenolan8616]

wow thats so funny, it's almost like i've read it multiple times before on reddit and twitter for the past 3 years

[@fractalisomega9517]

@@natenolan8616 Touch grass lmao

[@natenolan8616]

@@fractalisomega9517 babe im not the one reposting funny stories like they're mine, but go off

[@kylanvelpa3790]

I once told an old lady "You look finished" and she did like the most outrageously amused reaction!- I WAS CLEARLY TALKING ABOUT THE EMPTY GLASS NOT HER AGE!!! 🤦 Thankfully she and her family were lovely to me as I served them all night, and I even helped carry their luggage the next morning as they left the inn. Honestly those are the moments I loved serving ppl - when you got to form little connections with people you'll prolly never see again. Makes the world feel less lonely.

[@romasissues]

Thank you Matt for making me laugh when I thought I felt like all my emotions were sucked away. You're a highlight in my otherwise pressure-filled day

[@cojec]

I was having an awful day, watched this video, and started laughing uncontrollably after ten minutes of a British man reading brainrot experiences. I hope you're feeling better, whoever you are. You deserve it

[@henryB-k5j]

I used to work with children and wanted some of them to help me with something, after none of them volunteered I said with too much confidence "if you're not a volunteer, you're a victim!"

[@ManuelMediocre]

Out of the plethora of KZbin channels who read funny comments or memes as their main content, yours is the only one that has truly made me cry laughing multiple times. You really have a knack for finding genuinely hilarious stuff to read and I personally think you also add a lot with how you read them out and the little sound bites you put in. Cheers for the laughs

[@TheRealEITSRow]

My bf and I now call you "Rat Moses", we watch your videos together, too. Thank you, Rat Moses, for being British

[@ElSings]

AS A CHICK FIL A WORKER THE ONE ABOUT MISTAKING KIDS FOR DOGS HAPPENS CONSTANTLY ITS SO EMBARRASSING

[@SavDerpy]

I havent cried of laughter this hard probably in my life. Thank you.