Coworkers can be Idiots

[@bananabalism7670]

Wait, does wine actually make balloons float?

[@h4egeum]

i have to test it

[@jamesthebluecat1263]

@@h4egeum be sure to get the same type of wine he drinks.

[@matthew5330]

@@h4egeum results?

[@liamrohrbach8944]

Omfg, people are dumb. No, it doesn’t, it’s a quick edit to the video where he replaces it with an actual helium filled balloon.

[@Jerrremy]

​@@liamrohrbach8944Matt rose wouldn't lie to people on the internet

[@bloodshriker4430]

my absolute favorite is "you know history didn't actually happen right?" still don't know what she meant by that, I was too afraid to ask.

[@asdffdsa8885]

Well obviously she was a devout follower of Last Thursdayism, the belief that the entire universe was created last Thursday, and any memories or historical record of events before last Thursday didn't actually happen, they were just created that way to make the universe seem older than it really is.

[@Neonflame]

This is some Assasins creed level shaite

[@simonnachreiner8380]

I mean technically? History books are usually written and agreed upon by people who weren't there. I can understand that primary sources can be flawed but there are some people who are above and beyond snobbish about it. If I have five primary sources from both sides of an event that all say the same thing I don't give a damn what a report written by pencil pushers WHO WEREN'T EVEN THERE says. WW2 American submariner Internet cookies to whoever knows what event I'm still pissed about.

[@baintreachas]

maybe she meant something like “history is written by the victor” or whatever? I feel like that’s how I would misphrase that. Or maybe she’s just a presentist or something

[@muhammaddarrenputra6389]

"Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered. And the process is continuing day by day and minute by minute. History has stopped." - her.

[@vanillaextract4135]

I can’t help but be a little impressed by the apparent dedication of the guy hiding in the ceiling.

[@MezephelesArt]

Laborious Laziness, I believe TVTropes would call it

[@MagicCardboardBox]

But like, why even bother showing up?

[@n646n]

@@MagicCardboardBox He didn't, cause it didn't happen.

[@lofthouse23]

​@@MezephelesArt TV Tropes fan? Me too!

[@MezephelesArt]

@@lofthouse23 Eyyy, it'll ruin your life!

[@flakky55]

I have the story of a lifetime, passed from my aunt. So she has this coworker, mike. Mikes kind of stupid. For context,they work at an office where you print things out on like these huge boards so they can easily be copied for future use. On insanely expensive wax paper. Mike: - On an 106° day, thought it'd be a good idea to store rows of expensive prints vertically, pancaked against eachother, outside. They melted. - put boards on top of trashcan because his desk had no room, rather than organize his desk, overnight. Obviously because he put it on a trashcan, cleaning staff threw it out over the weekend. And for the worst of mike: Aunts coworker has been asking mike for some prints for a while now. Mike doesnt know where they went,but they should be in his office, so she and aunt search the room and find nothing. Aunt leans against the wall trying to think of where to look next.... And falls through the wall. Through it. MIKE, IN AN INSANE LINE OF REASONING, DECIDED TO MAKE A FALSE WALL OF CARDBOARD, HID THE PRINTS BEHIND IT, PLASTER + REPAINT HE OFFICE TO MATCH THE NEW WALL. His reasoning? "Oh im behind on work".

[@pretzelbomb6105]

Is there some corollary between being an idiot and finding extra hours in the day to perform stupidity? They always seem to get so much done in so little time.

[@angelbear_og]

😲

[@vickypedia1308]

How do you not get fired after like the second incident of that kind?

[@flakky55]

@@vickypedia1308 perhaps he was their only entertainment in the office lmfao

[@KanawhaCountyWX]

This sounds like the pitch for a 2000 sitcom that's good in theory but bad once it makes it to air and nobody watches it and then it will get remembered three decades later as some bastion of excellence

[@AberrantChibi]

"How fast you're going doesn't have anything to do with the time it takes for to get there." Ah, traveling at the speed of plot, whether it's on foot or via starship.

[@Chyrre]

This is why I never run

[@earthboundisawsome]

Ah yes, all of those scenes in Naruto with people running over long distances; they really were moving at the speed of plot. They'd never arrive until the exposition was finished

[@P0nyl0ve]

@@AberrantChibi if you are in a big enough city with enough stop lights, it kinda doesn't tho

[@WhatDoesMyChannelNameMean]

Well... she does have a point, since you never know if you're going to encounter road work or a wreck or something.

[@ckinggaming5bucketmadness766]

Ah that explains how they could think that, they’re actually the main character of the universe

[@gaspshichat]

my old manager tried to convince me that there were 60 cents in a dollar. we worked in a store as cashiers. she was in her 60s

[@lilliematthews7922]

And there are 100 minutes in an hour.

[@Vanta526]

bro confused currency with TIME 😭💀

[@gaspshichat]

@@lilliematthews7922 funnily enough, she said there was 30 minutes in an hour, couldn't read 24 hour clocks, and thought there were 150 days in the year. she also apparently stopped going to school when she was 14

[@jaythecoderx4623]

There are 100 cents per minute

[@snakevenom8136]

@HVY526 yknow what they say, time is money lmao

[@vinawaldren6888]

I normally wear contact lenses. Once I wore my glasses to work. Two coworkers thought I was a new hire! Makes you realize that "Yep, wearing glasses is all it takes" for people to not realize Clark Kent and Superman are the same dude. (Also, Wonder Woman basically does the same thing)

[@UndefeatableTwilightCatgirl]

It's actually amazing how much wearing glasses changes our perception of someone's face.

[@LovelyLara123]

As someone with glasses, yeah, accurate

[@Hiro_Trevelyan]

My boyfriend has glasses, his face is so different without them it's insane. It's almost like wearing a mask around the eyes, it completely changes the shape and perception

[@kelroylovel7110]

Kinda related I wear all black so I'm like a real life ninja I've spooked a number of people just chillin waiting for the bus after work Its little funny tbh 🦇😎🦇

[@vinawaldren6888]

I worked at Walmart, so I was in uniform, basically having to look like everyone else. Probably made it worse since my own identity was already masked by that fact. Tho no one else really looked like me either. I have exceptionally long dark hair, always wore long sleeves and boots. It was the only way I could "tweak" that uniform to looking remotely cool. Then wear glasses one day and OMG who is this new person?! 😐 It wasn't like they were the dark rimmed "nerd" glasses either, they were silver wire rimmed! I was just baffled.

[@Miply]

My Mum worked with a woman who thought pigs produce sausages like chickens produce eggs. She thought there were farms with pigs continuously giving birth to strings of sausages like a magician's pocket.

[@saladmancer4802]

My mom thought chickens only produced eggs after getting freaky and that the white string inside the egg was an embryo.

[@Miply]

@saladmancer4802 I have pet chickens and a lot of people think this! They're always asking how we get eggs with no rooster.

[@kiernanhowell-mackinley1733]

@@Miply tell em they're eating a chicken's period menstruation.

[@renakunisaki]

"Oh I fertilize 'em myself"

[@BenLabelle1]

There are, but those aren’t sausages you want to eat.

[@AndyHappyGuy]

6:20 This confirms that Matt Rose is in fact impossibly radioactive and undergoes alpha decay at ludicrous speeds to produce unexplainable amounts of helium nuclei.

[@Matt_Rose]

Damn, you figured it out!

[@SubspaceTripmine_Real]

@@Matt_Rose It makes sense that you would be impossibly radioactive. I mean, you’re already impossibly cool!

[@sepruecom]

and he can even switch it on and off at will. Just hope it's not his brain cells decaying at that speed ;-)

[@Xenonthenoblegas]

@@Matt_Rose where did you get these powers matt rose

[@frick3417]

@@XenonthenoblegasHe gets his powers from his diet of wine and Furbies

[@omohosp]

When I was 18 I worked with a girl who was the same age as me. Found out one day that she whole heartedly believed that the only two countries in the world were America and China, and that every other country was actually just a region on of those two. Not sure how she graduated high school.

[@tydshiin5783]

Assuming the education system only covered like american geography exclusively, I can see how that can happen

[@ferntheinkling]

@@tydshiin5783 I mean you’d think they’d at least know about the revolutionary war or the world wars

[@loafoffloof3420]

@@tydshiin5783 people just dip out of their history classes I'd guess

[@bananabuttersomethin]

I assume you're in America, so why was China the "only other country"?

[@GardenVarietea]

​@@bananabuttersomethinGonna go off on a limb and assume it's because "everything's made in China," or at least that's what the joke is where I live.

[@hithere2741]

This is a cognitohazard. My intelligence has reduced tenfold.

[@jimmydesouza4375]

Wouldn't something reducing tenfold mean you have -900% of it? What would -900% intelligence be?

[@MonkOfTheGunk]

@@jimmydesouza4375 the idiots who tried the "Chase Bank Glitch" would prolly qualify

[@UnreliableArsonist]

@@jimmydesouza4375 probably dead

[@parrokeet9877]

@@jimmydesouza4375 jellyfish brain

[@Banana_Fusion]

@@jimmydesouza4375 -90%.....

[@EvanBear]

Worked in internal tech support. "Hi, my monitor isn't working anymore". 30 minutes of talking her through the common steps (is it plugged in, have you turned it on, is the light blinking etc.) and one walk into a neighboring building in the middle of winter later and I figured out that it was, in fact, NOT plugged in. She didn't actually check if the cable was plugged in, she just said "Yes" so I'd "figure out the problem faster" 🤦Guys, when we ask you to check if it's plugged in, please actually check if it's plugged in 😩

[@RedCaio]

Customer when I ask them to check the power chord: "I pay so much for this service, I shouldn't have to lift a finger, just fix it RN or send me a tech" Customer 10 minutes later when I finally persuade them to check: "Ugh, I can't believe you wasted all this time sending signals, just for me to find out it's unplugged. thanks for nothing!"

[@danielflanard8274]

​@@RedCaio Customer service, the field where entitlement and unearned indignation come together. Those kind of individuals lack basic self-reliance while being incredibly nasty to the people they rely on.

[@wahidtrynaheghugh260]

That deserves a “what the hell is wrong with you?”

[@adirblazkowics7717]

Typical situation in IT, very unfortunately

[@paulamarina04]

reminds me of an old it joke my parents told me a few times "hello this is tech support what may i help you with" "good morning, i got a new keyboard recently but it doesnt seem to work at all" "hmm. try lifting up the keyboard for a moment" "uhh okay" "now, while still holding the keyboard, take a step back" "okay..." "now take _three_ steps back" "uhm, sure???" "are you still holding your keyboard?" "well yes, as you told me to, but i dont really understand how this is supposed to fix-" "your keyboard is not plugged in"

[@jenniferfinlayson1512]

Worked at a fast food place when I was a teenager, and during a rush one evening, the fry basket accidentally swung back at one point and burned my arm. Later I was working with the burn bandaged and a coworker came up and asked if I'd cried when it had happened, because she had cried when she had gotten burned by the boiling fry oil. I said no, it didn't hurt that much. I found out later that the way she had gotten burned was that she had accidentally dropped the fry scoop into the boiling oil...and then reached into the boiling oil with her bare hand to retrieve it.

[@rollihd714]

WTF, i thought natural reflexes would make u flinch before u di insane stuff like that

[@NoNameForNone]

@@rollihd714 If she had wet hands it takes about a second for the moisture to burn off (creating a small insulating layer of steam) before actually burning the skin and causing the reflex to happen. It's similar to the leidenfrost effect (floating bubble of water on a hot plate).

[@acrellama]

That sounds more like a lapse in judgement than stupidity. In chef school, my sister and her classmates were taught not to catch knives and to just let it fall. People still do because of natural reflexes

[@DarkShard5728]

​@@NoNameForNoneim pretty sure that IS the leidenfrost effect

[@melissacooper8724]

Reminds me of an episode of The Simpsons where this awkward teenager was trying to retrieve the taco out of the fryer with his bare hands!

[@Mango-Mint]

Someone in my class asked where the titanic was, she refused to believe it was underwater.

[@MyDadStoleMyArm]

Seriously?! People can really be that dumb? Well, I wouldn't put it past somebody, considering what the human race is capable of.

[@thediamondkittygamingmore6614]

Where did she think it was???

[@EMLtheViewer]

@@thediamondkittygamingmore6614 On Saturn’s moon Titan, of course. Where did you think it was going with a name like that?

[@AndyHappyGuy]

Girl came from the Raise the Titanic universe.

[@thriftstorepierrotdoll9851]

it sounds like she was surprised we couldn’t retrieve it 😭😭

[@Portal2LabRat]

i had a 16 y/o coworker at my last job who complained about getting pulled over for hitting another car and driving away. he somehow didn't know that you're not supposed to do that

[@oldyingyang15]

Underrated 😂😂😂

[@Xnoob545]

Driving at 16 feels weird to me Like, I'm pretty sure that's legal but Weird I'm literally 15 and it feels like I'm a child You're telling me I'm almost old enough for driving? Feels wrong somehow

[@orppranator5230]

@@Xnoob545Grow up

[@Levi_is_Smol]

@@Xnoob545 In Germany, you have to be 18 to drive alone. Feels better than 16, given that the cognitive difference between a 16 and 18 year old is much higher than, say, between a 25 and 27 year old. But to counter that, we may need to wait until the age of 18 to drive alone, but our infrastructure (in cities) is good enough to be able to get around without a car, either via bike, foot or public transport, and we are allowed to drink beer and wine once we turn 16 and everything else at 18.

[@raindrop3918]

not a coworker, but my sister's boyfriend thought ducks grew into geese and swans (males were geese, females were swans) like some sort of pokemon evolution

[@goldenfreddy64]

That would make sense if it wasn't falss

[@goldenfreddy64]

False*

[@ulpurt7612]

A fire started in one of the rooms in our building, and the other lady in the room... turned off the lights??!? Baffles me to this day.

[@lilliematthews7922]

Everyone knows fires have bad night vision, and so won't be able to find you in the dark. Obviously.

[@genericname2747]

fire can't see you if it's dark

[@MyDadStoleMyArm]

Well, fire is light, so I suppose she assumed that it was going to...turn off the fire? People are fucking stupid.

[@gothnerd887]

She didn't want to waste energy since the fire was already providing light

[@beepboopboopbeep3]

@lilliematthews7922 Unrelated but this just reminded me of how when I was 7 I thought tornados would chase after you so you had to hide from them

[@RispGD]

6:15 matt casually doing black magic with no explanation:

[@batata74]

Ah, you haven't learned how to blow helium yet haven't you?

[@beccalaurx]

I spent the rest of the video trying to figure out how he did it and I still don't know

[@Matt_Rose]

My powers are beyond your understanding 😊

[@gloglonotyt]

​@@Matt_Rose💀

[@west113]

Gravity doesn't exist

[@way2dead4u]

I love doing 'fun facts' with new coworkers, and I gave one about how the moon phases work. This one girl I work with then asks me, "wait, the sun and the moon aren't the same thing?" She thought the sun and the moon were the same thing and the Earth when into a 'dark mode' like on your phone. what was supposed to be a fun icebreaker quickly turned into a science lesson. This woman was about a decade older than me with a child. She also repeated asked if we lived IN the Earth, not ON it

[@thisisfyne]

I can't even

[@BluestTable]

That child is gonna turn so many fun facts into science lessons 💀💀

[@pottymouthstudios9889]

The thought that people so dim can procreate terrifies me.

[@LingeringCryptids]

@moldfarmingLIVEOH AGREED, makes a cool worldbuilding idea

[@sleepdeprivedcactus]

The beatle who shall not be named

[@dominictalbot3720]

i said "john beatle" when that came up to be funny and i didn't think the actual response would be worse

[@kraevgames]

I knew a couple who tried to convince me that women can't be color blind, while they both told me that the blue color setting on my TV was purple.

[@eddiehimself]

I remember this woman once told me that only men can be colour blind... she was our SCIENCE teacher lmao.

[@NoriMori1992]

They probably misunderstood (or misremembered) something they read about the genetics of colourblindness. Women are _less likely_ to be colourblind, because they need the gene on both their X chromosomes, so they need to inherit it from both parents. Men only need it on their one X chromosome, so they can get it from just their mom, even if she only has one copy and isn't colourblind herself.

[@tamarlindsay8382]

Blue plus orangey-red makes purple. They both probably have age-related severe "yellowing" of the lenses (severe cases turn orange). People who have old cataracts removed often are surprised at what color things really are.

[@isitsweet9567]

@@NoriMori1992 My mother had a similar misunderstanding about dominant and recessive alleles. She thought that if a trait was recessive, that meant that you could only have it if both parents expressed it phenotypically. Given the information that blue eyes are recessive to brown, she drew the conclusion that only people with two blue-eyed parents could have blue eyes, and two blue-eyed parents could only have a blue-eyed child. She and my father both have blue eyes. I have green eyes.

[@Nat_the_Chicken]

The blue/purple thing could also be a case of slight differences in normal interpretation of color categories, depending on how purplish the blue was. My family has an ongoing argument over what color the walk signals here are; I think they're blue, my sister thinks they're white, and my dad thinks they're green (although he may be trolling us lol). None of us are color-impaired, they're just really pale LEDs that we interpret differently.

[@littlescamander]

"I have 17 bottles of perfume" just sounds like one of those math problems. "Johnny has 25 bottles of dish soap." 😂

[@JuliannaGallo-x2v]

“Wait, why does Johnny have so many soaps?”

[@kiwiskinsuwu6066]

@@JuliannaGallo-x2vMind yo business, Davey!

[@interdisciplinaryhumanitie894]

@@kiwiskinsuwu6066WHY YOU WORY’N ABOUT IT?

[@JosselynSings]

Looked at the replies just to see if the vine was quoted. The comment section, for once, did not disappoint

[@scibus2593]

My old manager at Costco told me that the pallets I was lining up on my aisles weren’t neat enough. He told me I needed to use more TLC. “TLC?” I asked “Attention To Detail”. I had a migraine.

[@emilysmith2965]

All you really need in life is a BLT B - quit your job L - T -

[@AUnicorn666]

@@emilysmith2965 B bye bye job L leave forever T toodeloo

[@LordJazzly]

'Tender Loving Care', which is idiomatically used for 'attention to detail'. Never heard it used in relation to _pallet stacking,_ though; usually it's more of a medical/education/animal husbandry thing.

[@Leopard_211]

​@@emilysmith2965for some reason this is was funnier than if it was "B - Quit L - Your T - Job" And I don't even know how to explain why

[@trianglemoebius]

@@Leopard_211 Because when you see three letters and three words in a conversation about acronyms, you expect them to use one for each, so not doing so subverts your expectations. It's like two jokes in one!

[@nicandknacksandseans]

I'm convinced that every human being, from the lowliest garbage man, to the smartest particle physicist, has a thing. One thing at least, that they just learned wrong from childhood, just totally misunderstood, and never got corrected, so that a simply baffling erroneous belief exists where there should be factual knowledge. I wonder what mine is?

[@smoxthybweh]

I'm also convinced that there is a thing that everyone has that they will never be able to understand no matter how many times it's explained and shown to them. Mines locks and doors I for the life of me can never unlock/ lock or open a door correctly the first time unless there are directions.

[@ArchHippy]

I'm so grateful that I at least know how fast you're going affects the time it takes to get there.

[@mossyairplanes]

i once thought you didn't need your liver to live.

[@AverageConsumer-uj8sm]

@@smoxthybweh Mine's tying my shoe laces. I've been told how at least a dozen times now and I just don't absorb the information.

[@ArtistUnknownOfficial]

I can never figure out how to read and interpret road signs and associate them with the road. I'm 24 with a license and still don't get it 😭 I hate driving it's mortifying.

[@dnaxomega4252]

The “I’m gonna getcha” sent me into a 5 minute laughing fit at 2:00am. My mum thought I was playing a video of Jimmy Carr laughing on repeat.

[@antonliakhovitch8306]

I worked in IT when I was in university. At one point, one professor started signing her emails: "Dr. [name] Where laptops go to die"

[@MyDadStoleMyArm]

Uhh... The...charging bay? It's called life-support, people!

[@strogonoffcore]

that's kinda poetic i guess

[@antonliakhovitch8306]

@@MyDadStoleMyArm She actually went through like three laptops in the course of one year. One of them had three battery replacements before dying completely. She was perfectly technologically competent, too -- just had bad luck.

[@tortolgawd4481]

​@@antonliakhovitch8306 she emits enormous spiritual pressure 😂

[@kirkwahmmett1666]

I have a friend like that. It started with his phones (he's been through like 10 in the past few years) and just about every piece of technology malfunctions in some way around him. I will repair stuff for him and just trying to demo it in his presence won't work. There's an old black and white tv of mine that has never once worked while he was present.

[@alyssumowo]

These were classmates, not coworkers (thank god), but in high school there were guys in my senior math class that were CONVINCED there was no water in Africa. I tried to tell them that an entire continent full of people would obviously not be devoid of water, but I'm not sure how much they believed me.

[@Keznen]

"If you're from Africa, why are you drinking water?"

[@NoriMori1992]

@@Keznen "Oh my God, Karen. You can't just ask people why they're drinking water."

[@fig_flop]

Based cookie run pfp

[@horsefeathers2391]

All the 'at the watering hole' scenes on the nature documentaries, the snow capped Kilimanjaro, the crocodile and hippo attacks- denial isn't just a river in . . ., you know what, I just remembered something- My boss's middle/high school daughter was talking about her geography homework and she didn't know where Egypt was located. My manager didn't know either :l Yes, I am American

[@gordon1545]

Live Aid: "And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time, the greatest gift they'll get this year is life, where NOTHING EVER GROWS, NO RAIN OR RIVERS FLOW, do they know it's Christmas time at all." Wut?

[@emilyfarfadet9131]

A co-worker was peeling a lemon. I explained to him that I had spoken with the co-worker who brought them in, and they were Meyer lemons from their tree. He looks at me like I'm stupid, says "No dummy, it's an orange, watch I'll show you", takes a great big bite.... It was not an orange.

[@Nat_the_Chicken]

This is literally that meme with characters eating a lemon and then making a face

[@AwesomeYena]

My mom used to peel lemons for me like oranges.

[@glebglub]

@@AwesomeYena my dad eats the peel

[@AwesomeYena]

@@glebglub Me too.

[@timebomb4562]

When life gives you lemons call them yellow oranges and sell them for double the price Grunkle Stan probably

[@Cleestooncleestoon]

1:36 Ah yes, the Beatles: John Voldemort Ringo Potter Paul Dumbledore and George Granger

[@SgtWilliamPepper]

don't forget Stu Slughorn, who died before they were famous and Pete Moody, who was replaced by Ringo ^^

[@dashcamandy2242]

I still blame Cho Ono for being the cause of their separation. 🤣

[@erikafriberg]

Missed opportunity to use Weasley for George!

[@Brokefumo666]

My BRAIIIIIINNNNN!!!!!!!! ITS MELLLLTTITTITITITITIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGG

[@Da-Yeeter]

My dad’s coworker had to be put on a performance plan. He later submitted a 13 page document about how he would improve, when he was known for a lack of effort. Turns out, his wife (who also works for the company) wrote it for him. 💀

[@HungryWarden]

Plot twist of the century

[@Da-Yeeter]

@@HungryWarden true that. Worst thing is, he was/is on the verge of being fired BEFORE this whole situation happened. 💀

[@danielflanard8274]

That is pathetic in every sense of the word. Too many men look for a maternal figure in the women that they pursue and too many women indulge those manchildren.

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@Da-YeeterOnly the verge??

[@Da-Yeeter]

@@DeathnoteBB I was trying to be modest.🫤

[@Oll1000]

The girl said "I don't believe in the Mongols, they seem a bit far fetched" as she unlocked the parking lot gate by shooting it with a bow from horseback, followed by loud throat singing to signal that the defenses had been breached.

[@bastianrevazov7425]

"To comemmorate the death of... wait that's not Susan"

[@yolandaaliceflynt3671]

I've once seen a movie that started like that. I wonder how the people at the real funeral reacted😅

[@ToButterflyAPimp]

Cause of death licking toxic envelopes?

[@NoriMori1992]

@@yolandaaliceflynt3671 What movie was that?

[@Nat_the_Chicken]

@@NoriMori1992 Not a movie, Seinfeld. For some reason this is the only part of Seinfeld I think I've ever actually seen and it is WACK

[@Revalopod]

Free Churro

[@charlesajones77]

3:55 There was an episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (British version IIRC), where the second question was "Which of these ISN'T a dinosaur?". The answer was "Thesaurus". They got it wrong.

[@NoriMori1992]

What did they answer instead? I want to know which dinosaur they thought wasn't a dinosaur 😂

[@joshslater2426]

They probably said Trodon, or one of those dinosaurs that doesn’t end in “…saurus”.

[@trianglemoebius]

'Millionaire' relies as much on hard questions as it does on putting people "on the spot", so to speak. Everything about the show's set, from the way the lights move inward to focus on the contestant to the way they have a curved desk in the centre of a circular 'arena-esque' audience setup is designed to mess with people so they panic and don't think straight. People failing to answer hard questions is fairly boring. People answering hard questions and then failing on easy ones is worth talking about to your friends.

[@埊]

@@trianglemoebius thats good that 'Milionerzy'[basically a polish spinoff of Millonaire] doesnt have that

[@charlesajones77]

@@NoriMori1992 Okay, I think I remember now. It wasn't Britain, it was Australia. This was on Millionaire Hotseat, a version of the game specific to Australia that has multiple contestants playing together. The options were A: Brachiosaurus B: Stegosaurus C: Tyrannosaurus D: Thesaurus. They passed the question to the next contestant because they didn't know the answer.

[@SuspiciouslyCatShapedPotato]

When I was in 4th grade someone was 100% confident that sand is just dried water, everyone agreed with him but me. The IQ in that classroom was below room temperature.

[@Nat_the_Chicken]

Someone probably told him glass is liquid sand and he got mixed up

[@SuspiciouslyCatShapedPotato]

@@Nat_the_Chicken For the sake of that kid's intelligence, I hope so.

[@spacebearcadet746]

The absolute IQ of a grain of dried water.

[@annareverie13]

Ex-colleague of mine thought someone was committing fraud because “he sounds Polish but he reckons he’s called George and that don’t sound Polish?” (The man was in fact Romanian and called Gheorghe)

[@TheMohawkNinja]

That actually sounds pretty smart. They are at least attempting to use an understanding of cultural norms to determine if someone is who they say they are.

[@MyRegardsToTheDodo]

@@TheMohawkNinja Not really. I have colleagues whose names don't sound German at all, but their families have been here for atleast three generations. Claiming they aren't German because their names don't sound German is just plain stupid. And there are quite a few variations of Georg in different languages (including Polish, so the person could simply have used the English variation of the name as a convenience).

[@TheMohawkNinja]

@MyRegardsToTheDodo Sure, but if someone claims to be German and their name is something like "al Bashwari" or "Xi Shaolun", wouldn't you be suspicious of their claims of German heritage?

[@MyRegardsToTheDodo]

@@TheMohawkNinja No, not really. Germany has been an immigration country for the last 2000 years, with some of the names being "Germanized" (including my mother's maiden name, that's originally French, the name came to Germany some time in the 1500s) and we've had immigrants from the Arab region since atleast the 1960s. Someone with the name "al Bashwari" could be third or fourth generation German atleast, or married and taken that name. The German Democratic Republic was on quite friendly terms with the PRC (both communist states), including worker's exchange programs (the Chinese government even tried to help keeping the GDR government in power in 1989 by sending much needed workers and technology, this never happened due to the collapse of the GDR). When the GDR collapsed around 1000 Chinese workers lived there, so even someone with the name Xi Shaolun could be second or third generation German.

[@TheMohawkNinja]

@MyRegardsToTheDodo But they are still ethnically and culturally Chinese or Arabic. That's what people tend to mean when they say "that name doesn't sound X". Germany is infamous for its migration practices at this point exactly because the Arabic migrants don't assimilate into German culture.

[@Cecilpedia]

Had a guy explain to my boss that Africa is a country and not a continent. Boss is an immigrant from southern Uganda.

[@theflyingspaget]

Read that as "had to explain to my boss" and was about to ask many questions

[@niraskie783]

I mean South Africa is a country but Africa itself isn’t 😭

[@cafekaskada9290]

@@theflyingspaget me too, I didn't see it, until I read your reply

[@clovercurator7997]

Was that guy George W Bush?

[@Mariwend]

Something isn't adding up there.

[@slashplane]

5:16 My mother is the destroyer of tech. One time, my dad, a soldier, had bought a laptop that was supposed to survive IED's, he took it with him on a tour to Afghanistan, it survived perfectly fine. Decided it was tough enough for my mom, it survived less then 2 months in her hands

[@SMG-vx3mu]

how the fuck did she destroy a laptop that survived a tour in afghanistan?

[@splendidsimp]

Was it physical damage or like internal damage? Like did she manage to fuck it up with a virus or did she actually *_fuck it up_* ?

[@BluestTable]

How the hell do you make a laptop IED proof

[@SMG-vx3mu]

@@BluestTable i doubt the laptop was suppose to tank IEDs while only getting cosmetic damage at worse. i think it was supposed to maintain function should it be in the blast of a IED (that might be basically the same thing though)

[@slashplane]

@@SMG-vx3mu Yes, I can't imagine much of any computer surviving a direct explosion, when it says survives an IED it meant more of if it's in a vehicle hit by an IED the laptop would still be recoverable or functional.

[@agiar2000]

I was at a post office in Texas and the postal employee was asking a customer: "Now, is that in _EASTERN_ Europe or _WESTERN_ Europe? It makes a difference in how we ship it, so is that in _EASTERN_ Europe or _WESTERN_ Europe?" My dad asked "Which country?" The employee replied "Korea".

[@ChezburgerLeaf]

'It boiled away the hydration' I wouldn't even expect that from a flerfer lmfao 💀

[@wfr878]

just filter the water out and you got some pure hydration

[@ChezburgerLeaf]

@@wfr878 YES

[@BobbyHill63]

I mean, we drink water for its minerals, and then we pee it out (where else would the water go?). Distilled water has no benefits from drinking it. The only problem it that boiling water doesn't distill it. So I guess she's actually more right than you'd initially think.

[@professorowblock7812]

@@BobbyHill63 Distilled water absolutely has benefits from drinking it. Otherwise, you could just eat mineral supplements and not drink water at all. Fun fact of the day: _Water_ and _minerals_ are different things, and you need both to exist.

[@xelac1334]

@BobbyHill63 You seriously don't know that we need to drink water - as in WATER, H2O, not the trace minerals dissolved in water - to survive?? You're the type of person who gets written about in Reddit posts like these.

[@emmycarlstromulvling4997]

A forklift once broke at work and oil started leaking at a rapid rate. Told my boss and suggested we should leave it and let the oil drain out completely before fixing it. He looked at me, dead in the eyes, completely serious, and says. “The oil won’t stop flowing on its own, cause there’s oil in the earth and it will never run out. it will just keep on bubbling up forever from the ground” which is so wrong on so many levels LIKE BRO WHAT??!!?????

[@SupaThePotato]

7:15 the dedication to avoid working is almost commendable, jesus christ

[@vinawaldren6888]

I used to work at Walmart and I'd get into the middle of the round clothing racks to avoid customers. ( In my defense, people are scary! You never knew wether you were getting ready to encounter a nice person just asking for an item or a loon that's ready to go off the deep end because we "don't have that in the back")

[@tsm688]

@@vinawaldren6888 I used to try to get into the middle of the round racks as a kid! Mom was absolutely sharp and would never let me get close :D

[@SaturdayssVillain]

*me, drinking chocolate milk* "Y'know, you can put chocolate milk in the microwave and make it hot? I came up with this and it tastes so good!" "You mean...Hot Chocolate???" "Oh..." -My sister, 2024.

[@burnv06]

I do that but mix it with coffee

[@catrinacoons390]

@@burnv06 You mean. . . a Mocha???

[@Leopard_211]

I didn't even know you could drink it without heating it up

[@NoriMori1992]

That's not hot chocolate. That's heated chocolate milk. Those are different things!

[@trianglemoebius]

Hot chocolate is not the same as warm chocolate milk. Hot chocolate is made with cane sugar and cocoa powder, while chocolate milk is made with liquified chocolate and nothing else.

[@tiantianxie3361]

this girl in my class asked the science teacher why people can’t just CLOSE THE BLACKHOLES

[@dumptruck_babs]

I'll never forget the first time I tried to use a mop at my fast food job in highschool. I didn't realize I had to wring out the mop before using it, and the entire floor in the front of house was absolutely drenched. People were slipping so bad that they had to close front counter for ten minutes while my supervisor tried to soak it up with a dry mop 😂

[@americantoastman7296]

Omg same my first time mopping was an embarrassment 💀💀💀

[@BestHakase]

I've never saw this kind of mop in my life

[@simonnachreiner8380]

That is an absolutely genius way to get out of work if your coworkers don't snitch.

[@joxii__]

At my first job as a teen, I actually asked my boss how to use a mop. I said I had seen how people used them on TV but I didn't want to risk doing it wrong and ruining the floor. While it seemed dumb, I look back and am glad that I asked. Imo there's nothing wrong with asking someone when you don't know something, even if it's something stupid.

[@aedwynn6474]

I... I did the same thing...

[@ReikoAyanamiCh]

I have a coworker who was CONVINCED that a "quarter past the hour" meant 25 minutes. His reasoning? "A quarter is 25¢." He would angrily defend this even when proven wrong. Edit: missed a typo, oop

[@thientuongnguyen2564]

What did he say when you told him it's ACKSHULLY 15 minutes or if there's only 60 minutes, how could a quarter of an hour be 25 minutes?

[@KinCryos]

the titular character made the same mistake in Beverly Cleary's "Ramona the Pest". for those who haven't read it, she was in kindergarten at the time

[@joobletmaster5000]

...oh i just had several realizations.

[@kirbyfreakyt4695]

I hope you ended up saying "A Quarter is 25 _percent"_

[@johndemeritt3460]

My wife recalled an April Fools' Day prank from BBC claiming that pasta are actually grown in fields and harvested annually.

[@edithpatel7007]

0:50 is possibly the wisest words I've ever heard in my life

[@teaoftraffic]

he’s not wrong though

[@Zulk_RS]

Him and the perfume co-worker are both technically correct.

[@ErinCailinCatGirl]

I think they mean that the aftertaste of the food is better than the actual taste

[@Snowstorm...]

He means when you vomit it back up into your mouth

[@Brass319]

idk I think food tastes best five minutes before it goes in your mouth for the first time

[@cadensherman1983]

I work in IT for an elementary public school. Right before school started, our administrative assistant (money person) was putting together something Olympics related. She had asked the AP to get a diorama of a bunch of flags from storage. I was in the office doing tech stuff and I got to overhear this gem of a conversation between them. AA: *Holds up flag* What flag is this? AP: “Paraguay.” AA: “A pair of what?” AP: “Paraguay. It’s a country in South America.” AA: “Wow, they (the Olympics) really have *all* the countries!” I just about lost my shit

[@Quiet_Jay_C]

Oh, yes, I live in Pair of Guai, specifically in the left Guai 😅😅😅

[@nathanlawrence2484]

When i was in high school, i had to take physics for the first time. My friends and i had been poking fun at "the class where they teach you how things move" until the first day of class. Teacher kept blowing my mind every day for a semester. Apparently, id never given thought to how gravity works, other than every planet had a core that caused gravity. I essentially thought that gravity was caused by a singularity in a planet. I thought that Jupiter, a planet of mostly gas, had a freaking blackhole level gravity well. God am i glad i took that class.

[@schoo9256]

I... might need to take a physics class

[@LordCrate-du8zm]

I had a coworker who thought that Bulgaria was next to SPAIN. SHE'S EUROPEAN.

[@Cyfrik]

Wow, someone who's just as bad as me at geography really exists? I feel less alone now.

[@ricecooker2001]

is she directly from europe? cus if not it doesnt matter lol

[@Liggliluff]

You can't even say they're connected by the Mediterranean sea

[@MadIIMike]

I was hilariously bad at geography, literally just learned where things are years after school by binge playing EU4... >_> That said, I never was THAT bad...

[@corruptedplayer]

being european does not equate to being good in geography. im european aswell and im shit in geography. its funny seeing you guys struggle with maps of the us, but give me a blank map of europe and i can pinpoint maybe 4-5 countries

[@LordJazzly]

'England, Wales, France, and Middlesborough' Uh-oh, someone's escaped from the Angevin timeline

[@intelchip_x86]

The based timeline.

[@trianglemoebius]

@@intelchip_x86 All my homies hate John I.

[@DinosaurMan-zf5pw]

Well a thesaurus does sound like a type of dinosaur

[@GamingGreen21]

That's what I thought it was when I was in school

[@nomoretwitterhandles]

It literally has "-saurus" in the name, which is the common suffix for any creature belonging to the dinosaur species. I think it's fine if people get confused by that. Why tf do we need to call it a "thesaurus" anyway? I'm practically a human dictionary so I've always understood what a thesaurus is, but it's still the dumbest name ever. It's like, did the person who coined the term WANT people to get confused? Ridiculous. Next time I hear someone say a thesaurus is a dinosaur then I'm gonna agree with them

[@massgunner4152]

​@@nomoretwitterhandlesWtf is a thesaurus?!

[@Paulafan5]

Thesaurus was named in like the 16th century, well before dinosaurs were "discovered". It means "treasure chest" or something like that.

[@Meela9088]

@@massgunner4152kinda like a dictionary but for synonyms of words

[@chrisninety1]

One time a group of us were, for some reason, talking about the ending to Romeo and Juliet. One co-worker piped up and questioned why Juliet didn't text Romeo her plan to fake her death. Confused, I began to reply "well... it's Romeo and Juliet..." he responded with "yeah, with Leonardo DiCaprio, right?"

[@billybobjoephilcorncobtiptopge]

Shakespeare x Albert Einstein collab when

[@埊]

@@billybobjoephilcorncobtiptopge 曹操 x Tadeusz Kosciuszko collab when?

[@estebson]

The best part is that, technically, Juliet, or rather Friar Lawrence (an ally of the couple) did plan to text Romeo of the plan, in the sense that he sent a letter with the plan to Romeo through Friar John. However, Friar John was stopped and quarantined due to an outbreak of the plague, thus preventing him from successfully delivering the plan to Romeo. This is outlined in Act 5 Scene 2 of the play.

[@KarthikaJayakumar-28]

@@埊 Dafuq who are those people

[@KarthikaJayakumar-28]

@@estebson HOLDON I thought it was just friar lawrence hello?? There are two friars in the play?? I am studying this play right now help me am I gonna fail the test??

[@KasaiRayquaza]

As a writer, library assistant, and English major, I love the joke of a dinosaur reading a book and calling it a "thesaurus". (I have a shirt and a sticker with that exact image.) I never realized that there were full grown adults that would not realize that there was a pun there. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

[@Nat_the_Chicken]

Thesau enough and decided to leave

[@BaconNuke]

I was totally expecting the bowling was just "dumb coworker walked down lane with kids in it, kids threw a ball at him" kinda thing

[@SingerSofiaBrook]

5:45 ah yea, maybe he’s a dragon, and can exhale hydrogen. You know, it explodes, but it also floats!

[@SmallFuzzyBug]

Nobody tell the knights.

[@fa1ryf0x3s]

Don't worry, Rat's just a dragonborn.

[@FableTheWolf]

I know someone who went to a job interview in the fall of 2018. Last time I spoke of it in 2022, he still believed he was going to get a callback. Nothing anyone has said could convince him otherwise. The last time I talked to him was in January of this year, where he is still jobless, always claiming he didnt want to start anything new because "what is he going to do when the call comes". Those who know have been baffled by this for the last 6 years, and we're all still waiting to see when he's finally going to admit he's not getting a phone call.

[@RedCaio]

not to sound mean but he's either lying (he knows but wants to relax unemployed) or he's got something going on up there making things extra hard for him. I had a vaguely similar thing happen, I applied somewhere and "got the job" but later they told us the training class was cancelled. I called them and they were saying stuff like maybe they'd have room in the next training class in like 3 months maybe perhaps. Didn't realize it was never gonna happen for like a year or something. I take things literally and couldn't tell that they just didn't want to admit that our batch of new hires were un-hired. I've since learned however that I'm autistic so taking things literally and missing the obvious unspoken stuff can be a common experience for autistic people.

[@FableTheWolf]

@RedCaio Ah well I do know he's not autistic if that helps. But you're right about something else going on. Our current running theory is that he's figured out that after no consequences from his parents he's trying to milk it for as long as he possibly can, so he's lying to everyone to keep up the facade. For the first two, maybe 3 years he did genuinely believe he was getting a callback and would fight against people who tried to tell him otherwise. His ideas about it never made sense from the get go but got more ridiculous as time went on. For example it was a very physically intensive thing that had to have physical evaluations to even be considered and he was never going to pass that because of, well size and bad habits. You could tell just by meeting him that there was no way they were going to waste time on evaluating him as a candidate, and they didn't as far as I know. Yet never even getting to that stage wasn't a clue enough for him. He's let's say chronically online so it's been a toss up between being that deluded or somewhere along the line turned into a master manipulator. We'll never know which because I'm not in touch with him anymore and neither are his old friends. I had plenty of odd conversations with him about it before finally giving up. Your story is a lot different and I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. It sounds like that place was very unorganized and I'm sorry that the burden of their issues came to rest on you. That's not fair what those people did and I hope you're doing better now. But even you calling them and following up already makes you better than the person I'm talking about, because he refused to do that for a long time and even months later there were a couple emails that I never saw. Sometimes we wonder if he even went to that interview at all. All I can do now is wait for the day it all catches up with him. It's already gone on way longer than anyone thought though so who knows.

[@proudtobeme1ashkente]

@@FableTheWolf The next Chandler Halderson? Hopefully not.

[@FableTheWolf]

@@proudtobeme1ashkente After looking that up, and man that's a horrible story, I hope it brings you the tiniest peace to know that that is unlikely to happen in this case. Unfortunately the truth isn't much better. As much as he uses them, his parents use him. I theorize they are of the "I had children to take care of me" mentality, so as long as all parties think they are getting something out of the not-discuss-anything-and-negligently-not-speak-about-the-future arrangement, none seem to be outwardly bothered. They don't care about his warped perception of reality as long as he goes to the grocery store for them. Have to say, hearing the "why don't millennials just buy a house instead of wasting money on rent" speech from a millennial in the presence of all people who are renting last year was an experience. Kind of like a brainwashed pet. So no murdering today thankfully, but there are bets about who might hear from him again the day his deal goes sour.

[@Ashe_is_sleeping]

I’m not a colleague but a student, one of my classmates yelled “SKULLL EMOJII” And me running on monster energy’s and pure spite yelled “MATT ROSE” no-one knew what I was talking about 😭

[@Matt_Rose]

Now this is what I like to hear

[@Ashe_is_sleeping]

@@Matt_RoseI am an icon what can I say

[@j_cannot_type]

i did this literally 2 days ago 😓😓

[@theneverwatcher9860]

@@Ashe_is_sleeping You can say EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION

[@MyDadStoleMyArm]

Nobody? Seriously?! Not even the kid that yelled it?! Why would anyone in their right mind yell "SKULL EMOJIII" without having watched Matt Rose?!

[@amelioravictoriadionyssia3323]

When I was in grade 8 social studies I didn't know what gonorrhea was, and asked on the extended map behind the projector where to find it on the map. My teacher tried reprimanding me until he realized I genuinely thought it was the name of a country

[@timebomb4562]

I wish I was there Until I was 10 I didn't know what godparents were when this girl in class told us she visited her godmother I legit thought she was cinderella or something

[@toaarania2392]

0:57 So fun typography fact there actually are upper and lower case numbers, we just never see the lower case ones (usually called oldstyle instead because they used to be more common) and they aren't as different as the different letter cases are.

[@theominouspigeon]

$

[@DreamingNightmares]

My mum used to work with someone who didnt believe in reindeer. She thought that if Santa and his elves weren't real, nor are the flying deer that pill the sleigh. Deer can't fly is what she said. When presented with a real reindeer she thought it was a nornal deer with horns stuck onto its head by the staff...

[@traveller23e]

wtf, reindeer have completely different facial shapes and are a fair bit larger...

[@DreamingNightmares]

@@traveller23e I think it's the idea that they fly that made her think they were fake...

[@MattManDX1]

@@DreamingNightmares She sounds like the kind of person who doesn't believe Santa Clause was ever real. Like the actual Saint Nicholas of Anatolia would be an imaginary character to her despite written records verifying his existence. Or that Halloween was always just a spooky holiday where you overeat candy rather than it just being the day before All Saints Day

[@DreamingNightmares]

@@MattManDX1 Probably to be honest.

[@NoriMori1992]

*pull the sleigh

[@Antifearn]

Once when I was working on a college film set as a script supervisor (it was outside in a local neighborhood), my crew mates and I saw this beautiful red fox sitting in the street with a bushy, chestnut-colored tail and a mole it must have caught in its mouth (foxes are extremely rare to find where I live in the US due to all of the urbanization). We silently stood back and tried to get some good pics of the fox without disturbing it, but our stupid production assistant, Stella, started running towards it excitedly clapping and shouting “Puppy! Come here, puppy!”. The fox ran away with its food and Stella was disappointed because she wanted to pet the “dog” and see if it had a collar with an address on it. As if she was going to put the wild fox in her car, drive it to someone’s house, and try to meet its owners and learn the fox’s name. 🦊💀

[@ElkAndTurt]

di you call her retarded? I hope you called her retarded.

[@queenofyasrabien]

even if it was a dog, running towards it is inappropriate! that's a toddler's behaviour

[@entamology581]

lmao did you tell stacy she's an embarrassing womanchild

[@daftish_birdman]

i like your use of emojis

[@cccg838]

She probably has bad eyesight lmao

[@Nightman9001]

Matt please never stop doing what you do. Your editing is impeccable, your sense of humor is fantastic (I love you little interjection / "live" moments), your choice of material is great, and the pace is incredible. Your videos make me laugh harder than any other content I've found in YEARS (and I've been on the internet for almost 30 of those). So on the off chance you see this, thank you, and I hope to enjoy your content for years to come!

[@NocturnalDecay]

6:33 Place your bets: does this mean that A) User TWITCHAY did not work with this man again because they disliked him for his stupidity B) User TWITCHAY did not work with this man again because he was fired C) User TWITCHAY did not work with this man again because he fucking exploded

[@alcatraz160]

D) All of the above in that exact order.

[@SniperOnSunday]

E) All of the above in the REVERSE order

[@schlechtername8432]

@@SniperOnSunday All of the above including D)?

[@SniperOnSunday]

@@schlechtername8432 Yes

[@clayday5299]

F) Both D and E

[@danuostret1900]

A co-worker and me were driving in his car and he got a phone call , the radio was loud so he slowed down the car , thinking it will lower the radio's sound

[@LordCrate-du8zm]

That's really more of a brain fart.

[@OntarioTrafficMan]

My gran's 2006 Honda Civic does actually increase the volume of the stereo as the speed increases. The idea is that driving faster produces more wind and road noise so you'd want the radio louder to compensate

[@EllpaFox47]

This is the same logic as turning down the radio so you can see better

[@nomoretwitterhandles]

@@EllpaFox47 Not really. Slowing down would just make the radio seem louder (less wind sound), and it doesn't help anyone to be able to hear better (because there is already sound). Turning down the radio to see better is actually a response to being overstimulated. If all of your senses are going off, using more of your senses will not help you. It's not that it literally helps you "see" better, it's more like it helps you concentrate on seeing. Not to just nerd out on you, but, you know, your example has a real science behind it. OP's coworker just had a brain fart. Big difference.

[@renakunisaki]

"Did that sales guy cut one during the test drive?" "Yeah, and he turned up the radio to cover the smell!"

[@tigergirl305]

Not a coworker, but I had a roommate who refused to believe that me and another roommate were both left-handed because only 10% of people are lefties and "there's just no way you're both left-handed". After we proceeded to comfortably write with our left hands in front of her, she got genuinely angry and stormed off. Such a bizarre interaction

[@tsm688]

some people just never learn to shut off their anger when challenged. it can catch anyone but usually not all the time, or on things so damn obvious

[@AverageBloxxer-425]

once i went to Rgentina, nice place. The fresh seafloor pasta there tasted great!

[@alicebthegachaweirdo8378]

Yea, me too

[@AverageBloxxer-425]

@@lookatTK well yes, but actually no.

[@netherwarrior6113]

Pretty nice place, but do be warned there is a lot of sea ports with pirates

[@Legendary_Detective-Wobbuffet]

I work in a Japanese company with Japanese bosses and for Japanese customers. I have a coworker who will not accept that she doesn't speak Japanese! Instead of just talking in polite English, she'll word salad billionaires!

[@NoriMori1992]

I know what word salad is; what in the world is a "word salad billionaire"?

[@geealion]

@@NoriMori1992OP is using “word salad” as a verb! As in “she’ll [speak in] word salad [to] billionaires” (I think!)

[@NoriMori1992]

@@geealion Thanks! I finally figured that out after re-reading it just now 😂

[@DarkShard5728]

i do not know what word salad is, would anyone be able to tell me?

[@geealion]

@@DarkShard5728 Sure! It’s an expression basically meaning “a jumble of words that don’t make sense”. So if I said “The stopping drove the next bus like a fun Tuesday but not with a boom” that’s word salad. It vaguely reads like a logical sentence but doesn’t really make sense or mean anything.

[@Plethorality]

Lets learn about gravity. "Im not falling for that!"

[@Lilkiwi2]

Matt never disappoints

[@khaelkugler]

You haven't even watched the video bruh you commented within a minute of the video

[@avee_007]

@@khaelkugler but he really never disappoints

[@MBauer457]

But your spelling does

[@fewless06]

@@khaelkugler he doesnt need to, because he already knows matt never disappoints

[@khaelkugler]

@@fewless06 tru tho

[@StuffandThings_]

1:25 Okay weird fun fact here, there's a plant by the name of Boquila trifoliolata which can mimic the leaf shape (somewhat, to the best of its abilities) of any plant it happens to be near. Scientists have determined that it probably has some mechanism to "see" based on how its mimicked stuff (and IIRC it even mimicked plastic leaves). It can mimic leaf shape, color, even venation. I've personally also noticed that the related Akebia quinata (same family, Lardizabalaceae) does something similar too (though this is as of yet undocumented in scientific literature, I've also read of people noticing that Lardizabala mimics too), caught it mimicking a variegated maple, a honeysuckle, and some marjoram pretty effectively. It did appear to only be capable of this when there was a line of sight between the leaves it was mimicking and the plant, particularly if the sun passed in front of them. Sooooo TL;DR, while plants definitely don't have eyes, there's at least one freaky ass family of them that may very well have what can only be described as some sort of vision

[@trianglemoebius]

Boquila mimicking plastic plants is probably a myth, as is it being able to mimic without growing into the target - the reports of it doing this were unconfirmed and (at least as of the last time someone tried, in 2014) have not been able to be replicated. More likely, Boquila "steals" genetic information from the plants it grows on, in a form of Horizontal gene transfer (HGT).

[@isitsweet9567]

That's really cool, where did you read about this?

[@Nat_the_Chicken]

Do you work in botany? Sounds like you have a lot of personal experience with these plants

[@StuffandThings_]

@@Nat_the_Chicken Nope! Just a (admittedly rather serious) hobby of mine. I've been told I should go into botany though lmao. Its got a pretty approachable learning curve though a very high "skill ceiling" if you can call it that so its a great one for pretty much anyone, and very easy to get really invested in. The key really is just to be very observant and very patient, and you'll catch all sorts of awesome stuff! Reading and/or watching a lot of plant stuff will take you very far too.

[@mistakesregretsandimperfec7740]

Oh, reminds me of these brittle stars that can see without eyes! It was in one of Lindsay Nicole's videos, but I don't remember which one. It was most definitely an ocean related one, tho. That's pretty awesome that even plants can "see" things!

[@OZdoesArt]

First one reminds me of an interaction from back in middle school- "What's a state that starts with 'Q'?" "...Cuba!"

[@REDFRLegend]

I'm not American but I remember some place called Quebec to exist. Would that have been an accepted answer or is Quebec something different?

[@ChristinaMendez-i9o]

​@@REDFRLegendQuebec is in Canada 🇨🇦 (idk if this comment is satire or not)

[@REDFRLegend]

@@ChristinaMendez-i9o Quebec is in canada?! I didn't know that! I only read somewhere that it exists

[@worfsonofmogh1154]

@@REDFRLegend It's a province. But really it's a state of mind.

[@laila.xo5]

matts giving us the best videos it’s like a victorian child receiving bread

[@Worst_Animator]

7:23 My man’s not an idiot, he’s a genius! Like who’s gonna check the roof?

[@daxtonfleming]

You know ceiling tiles don't lead straight outside, right?

[@MyDadStoleMyArm]

Exactly! And he would've gotten away with it if it hadn't been for that meddling co-worker.

[@princesspixel3151]

“I saw [co-worker] vent” …look, SOMEONE was gonna make that joke. It was inevitable!

[@osheridan]

u/45MinutesOfRoadHead apparently

[@thomaswittkowski8316]

@princesspixels3151 Yes, very in-vent-ativ of your to think of this joke. I see myself out...

[@pennycat6317]

Jesus Christ that mock up of a girl's office desk is so on point

[@viktorvalkov-gu7qr]

Adult equivalent of "that one kid at school"

[@zombehattack666]

2:01 is actually kind of wholesome. You've always gotta give back the stuff you borrow.

[@JustDavenThings]

6:20 that’s not how it wait what the F?!?

[@paperstrawsYT]

Yes it is

[@aryapatel1932]

He used a fan

[@ggwtfboi]

No, he just had a positive attitude!

[@skibidiperry]

I think it’s in reverse

[@aryapatel1932]

He used a fan

[@burnv06]

7:58 Bowling: Anakin Skywalker edition

[@yoseli5970]

My coworker at a Whataburger wanted to convince all the girls to get with him to prove to HIS GIRLFRIEND that he wasn't "too fat to find girls" 💀

[@CyrilCommando]

That's not stupid, that's kinda based.

[@jeffery9543]

@@CyrilCommandono

[@nomoretwitterhandles]

@@CyrilCommando As a woman I... weirdly agree? The coworker's girlfriend seems like a judgmental and emotionally abusive a-hole. I would never tell my partner "you're too fat to cheat on me" because that's literally asking for a challenge lmao. And it's also very insulting. It really is a power move to be like "Oh, too fat to get girls, am I? Challenge accepted!" lol. The smarter move would've been to just dump her ass, but I'll give the dude an A for effort.

[@kindlyevilbgm]

@@CyrilCommando That’s not based, that’s kinda stupid.

[@massgunner4152]

What in the actual fu-

[@Qermaq]

Worked for a box company back in the '90s. Religious girl started on the line. She asked what they were making, and they told her (honestly) these were for crematoriums to store cremated human remains. She left at lunch and did not come back. But I worked with a guy once who screwed up inventory one year because he insisted on counting five things "0, 1, 2, 3, 4. Four."

[@trianglemoebius]

Sure we laugh at that guy now, but when the robots take over he'll be ahead of the curve!

[@danielflanard8274]

I wonder which religion she belonged to, the view of cremation as desecration is somewhat uncommon these days.

[@Qermaq]

@@danielflanard8274 All I know is she was Hispanic, never got to know her. I think maybe she was freaked out ;)

[@isitsweet9567]

Probably Catholic, then. I doubt that it had to do with her religion. She was probably just squeamish.

[@Nat_the_Chicken]

Zero-based counting my beloved. Truly a computer scientist in the making

[@Cyan-bm6sz]

1:00 it's ok Matt, we're here for you in this hard time.

[@Matt_Rose]

Nubbudy tuld me itd be this hrad

[@BouncingKetchup]

hrad

[@andievalentin]

​@Matt_Rose so no one told you life was gonna be this way?

[@Candy_was_here]

Hrad

[@gossamera4665]

@@andievalentin Tbf his life's a joke, he's broke and his love-life 's DOA.

[@mad2fan2018]

4:47 I'm surprised that he also didn't ask why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food.

[@galixypawerpack]

Real

[@turbo_marc]

Well the very smell of the product is very good, the customer is a customer. He receives the mass of the poisoned, for he does not eat the bread. Let's live through the hate of tomorrow's propaganda tincidunts on the shores. The greatest eros will not be born to a casino. What is the level of the vehicle class or the load level. It is Pharetra who lived in the earth class; marriage of the two phasellus here. Care providers expect free financing. There is no fermentation in the mouth of the throat unless it is just a great time. I hate to invest the hendrerit urn author senescence?

[@wieldylattice3015]

The whole blowing up a ballon that actually floats bit what a bout of incredible editing, bravo!

[@pixel7071]

pretty sure there's just a fan underneath him. You can see his hair being moved by wind in a room with a closed window, and the balloon weirdly flocks up after he's done tying it.

[@DimerDuck]

“Technical harbinger of death” is a great band name 😂

[@lovetolovefairytales]

I had a "boss" (ahem) who when I asked, "How should I cook this? Because I'm literally 16, not a chef and have never even been taught how to turn on the oven," replied "You cook it the way you eat it." 17 years later, I'm in my thirties, and I'm still confused. 😅

[@tsm688]

maybe he meant, like the way you want your steak? rare, medium, well? but probably just meant 'wing it'

[@DarkShard5728]

​@@tsm688that doesn't make sense either

[@mrbizzaros]

I once had to convince THREE people that "Korea" started with a K, because they all thought it started with C. They also believed that I was wrong solely because a majority of us in the group believed it to start with C.

[@MattManDX1]

Korea was indeed spelled Corea for a long time, it was only in the early 20th century that the common English spelling switched it to a K. It had over 300 years of being Corea compared to the roughly 100 years of being Korea

[@trianglemoebius]

@@MattManDX1 Also the "Corea" spelling comes from an attempt to anglo-ify the name of the Korean kingdom that existed at the time: Goryeo. It makes a lot of sense if you hear Goryeo said in a Korean accent, then picture a British guy trying to mimic that.

[@DeathnoteBB]

Ah the appeal to the majority. People who are wrong love that one. You can believe up is down but insist you’re right if you can trick enough people into agreeing

[@estebson]

​@@trianglemoebius Not to mention Korea is still spelled with a C in many European languages, such as Spanish.

[@pretzelbomb6105]

@@MattManDX1A fair point. However, unless the three people he was talking with all had an unusual level of knowledge on the etymology of Koreas’ exonym, a preexisting agreement that the”C” spelling was objectively more correct despite falling out of use 100 years ago, and a self-defeating determination to not make either of these things known during the conversation… they were simply wrong and in agreement on it.

[@jademonass2954]

ive met LOADS of people that sell stuff on the street and such, where basic math is just beyond them me: "$10 for those sweets? can you do 2 for $20?" "nah, i cant go that low" i even tried increasing the price once (2 for $30 or something) and they still said id be pulling their leg from how low i was going 😭😭

[@NoriMori1992]

You should've just bought one for $10, and then bought another one for $10 😛

[@Nat_the_Chicken]

I love the natural instinct of "this person is presenting a price that is not written on my sign, they must be trying to haggle"

[@BestHakase]

​@@Nat_the_Chickenwell, the person may not knowing basic math, instructed to not trust buyers with calculations.

[@Magic_Skeleton]

Did you actually say the word "dollars"? If you just said "two for twenty" they could have interpreted it as "two dollars for twenty candies", which explains why 2 for 30 would be pulling their leg. Dumb either way, but it may have been simple miscommunication and not a math issue.

[@Di_Tre]

^

[@TheAbsoluteStateofThings]

4:47 thought I was having a stroke for a second there

[@mrepic9994]

Well, the at the look like when they read those like the, you think?

[@Matchbox-P]

6:28 Guy with a lighter on the forklift. Sounds like a game of Clue.

[@fanfywriter8727]

To be fair, if there'd been a gas leak, he WOULD have found it.

[@Matchbox-P]

@@fanfywriter8727 oh well

[@pretzelbomb6105]

“It was Shiftlead Burgundy, in the fresh scorch mark, with the lighter.”

[@PsychoSavager289]

I had a coworker who thought that Egypt is on the equator (it isn't) and that it isn't a tropical country (it is, albeit barely). Aside from the fact that it's impossible to be on the equator without also being in the tropics, what made it worse was that SHE WAS EGYPTIAN.

[@trianglemoebius]

This is a reasonable mistake, frankly. Egypt isn't on the Equator, but it is *Equatorial* (as in, part of it is between the Tropic of Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn). She probably figured that 'Equatorial' just meant a country had the equator run through it. Which it kinda sounds like it should mean that, you know? Especially since, being from Egypt, English likely wasn't her first language. EDIT: Also Egypt is only on the tropical country list by technicality, it's functionally Mediterranean.

[@PsychoSavager289]

@@trianglemoebius She was an English teacher.

[@40Ccents]

6:48 NAHH FREE MY BOY JAMES! HE DUN NUN WRONG

[@_AstaLily]

I’m still in UK equivalent of high school, so a classmate rather than a colleague, but there was this one kid in my class last year who asked in our History class while asking about Roman settlements, “Miss, is…is Exeter still a place?” He didn’t hear the end of it for the remaining hour of class.

[@MyDadStoleMyArm]

"Is Exeter still a place". What an idiot...

[@TerezatheTeacher]

As a foreigner who's been to Exeter, I can attest to the fact that it definitely is not a place any more.

[@MyDadStoleMyArm]

@@TerezatheTeacher As a local who's been there multiple times in the past, I'll have to check to make sure. What's there now, a giant crater? Empty fields? T H E D E E P D A R K A B Y S S , perhaps?

[@amadandearbhte4318]

I had a classmate ask if "Jews are still a thing" 💀

[@Lazare7782]

@@amadandearbhte4318I’ll make sure they aren’t soon

[@Dinotymek]

0:31 i litterally just watched the switzerland april fools spaghetti growing on trees tv prank

[@qwertyuiop.lkjhgfdsa]

@@hamstreeet yes we get it we know what video were watching

[@lillyplaysguitar]

I thought you said the "spaghetti growling on trees prank" and I was like "why is spaghetti growling"

[@imnotabin]

Didn't the UK do that back in the 50s?

[@Secretgeek2012]

Had my kids fooled with that for a couple of years. 😁

[@lukiwei9468]

I literally just watched Luca

[@ChuffyBar]

1:47 actually pleasantly surprised she got wales. most people think its just part of england

[@dawidwojacki5049]

1:45 I wish lad

[@Asrieldreemurr283]

Honestly the only non-invaded parts of the uk are Scotland and England (by this I mean countries that joined the uk on purpose)

[@thezombiecreeper]

1:50 I mean, Queen Anne, Kings George I, George II, George III, and Winston Churchill would all have liked to say “France”…

[@SamTaylorsVersion]

None of them would say Middlesbrough though

[@NoriMori1992]

I want to know how this person thought Middlesbrough is a country 😂

[@estebson]

Not to mention every single Plantagenet and Lancaster

[@thezombiecreeper]

@@estebson Perhaps, if the United Kingdom existed then; but in that case, William the -Bastard- Conqueror would be one step closer to getting to say it - all he’d need is Wales.

[@HenrySilosky-kg4on]

My step mother had a coworker who thought that goats laid eggs. He was a doctor.

[@Nat_the_Chicken]

I mean I guess he wasn't a goat doctor

[@banjoe7727]

Had a co-worker catch something as it tipped over, without standing it back up, he just let go, caught it again, and once again, without tilting it back upright, he let go, this man forgot about gravity, babies are born with the fear of falling, how does he not know about it.

[@SoleaGalilei]

Working at a greeting card store, we were told to separate the cards with illustrations from the cards with photos. I put one that had CGI art of a T-Rex on it with the illustrations, and my co-worker argued with me that it was actually a photo. I have to emphasize, she was *not* saying that it should go with the photos just because it looked like one, or that it was a photo of a model of a T-Rex, she thought someone had TAKEN A PHOTO OF A REAL T-REX.

[@paigeepler]

A Sound of Thunder be like

[@chillcreep4926]

My little sister, as a child, was insistent that a specific picture of Jesus at our local church was a photograph. Other pictures she could accurately label as drawings or paintings, but this specific one was a photograph according to her. But she was just a little kid at the time so it made sense.

[@HORSECONSUMER]

0:09 are you sure your coworker isnt a pirate?

[@AhmetCoskun68]

5:18