How to blow a Job Interview

[@frozenflame34]

I read the title fine

[@Matt_Rose]

Thanks, not sure what so many people mean about misreading it, odd ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@-roachperson-]

Cratulations!!!

[@clqoart]

e

[@SerfOfTheYear]

How can a flame be frozen you filthy liar

[@OmiEditsAlot]

I did too, like more than half of the comments here are saying they read it wrong.

[@archivist-93]

I like how some of these are just small mistakes and the others are my worst fears 💀

[@kaleenar963]

Half of these the interviewer probably didn’t even notice and the other half are absolute nightmare fuel

[@archivist-93]

@@kaleenar963 True

[@ImaginaryAlchemist]

I’m always worried I’ll rip ass in the middle of an interview 💀

[@immymoe914]

BEING STUCK IN A CLOSET FOR 20 minutes?!

[@archivist-93]

“Cup of sex” 😭😭😭

[@TMSandTDfan]

Out of all people, the one to say he was gonna blow up a library got a job

[@anabsolutehoot302]

The interviewer must have really wanted to protect the local library.

[@JohnJohn-r4l]

Bomb threats tend to make people really generous, I can’t quite tell why though.

[@ShiltzThePleb]

Reminds me of that one video about "cringe things done to impress crushes". Out of all of the other candidates, consisting of laughably awful and goofy but having potential, the succeeding one was something along the lines of "I put multiple organs of animals - cow eyes, pigs livers - in a jar and gave it to her as a gift"

[@monad_tcp]

maybe the job was for a demolition company.

[@TMSandTDfan]

Ok how the fuck has this got 1K likes, my comments if lucky get 600-700 likes but 1K????

[@joshhaworth2155]

Gonna have to consider signing my future letters "sinisterly" from now on.

[@Lufia4]

To keep the interviewer on their toes. And if they tell you that you misspelled it, you can just say "No."

[@chickadee1607]

When I briefly worked in HR, we got a cover letter from a girl who said she had attended "predatory school."

[@mleadenham1]

Yours in darkness,

[@shadowlord0162]

@@mleadenham1 lmao

[@knockout8157]

@@Lufia4”it seems you believe that I missed a small detail in saying ‘sinisterly’ as opposed to ‘sincerely.’ I’m afraid you are mistaken. *_You see, I have plans…”_*

[@vera39440]

"Creamy handshake" is something that sits with that person forever

[@neonplural]

The best band

[@truckjumperdude]

That "a" in the title is doing massive work

[@kubo7553]

"How to blow Job Interview" 💀

[@joshhaworth2155]

Been a while since a single letter carried so much power.

[@BengalsFan-z4q]

It is

[@EllpaFox47]

ITS NOT DOING ENOUGH 💀

[@tealisbored]

WHERE

[@Woopsdiditagain]

The one in the closet is gold. Greetings to that poor soul.

[@strogonoffcore]

it's a Stanley Parable ending

[@disguisedcat1750]

I cant believe the interviewers did not tell him he is going the wrong way.

[@reubenwizard]

absolutely loved that one, I can't believe they just left him in there for 20 minutes 😂

[@Emilightning]

@@strogonoffcoreliterally my first thought as well when I saw that one 😂

[@sarahelo009]

20 minutes wondering if this life is really worth living :.)

[@xvxy4441]

they were so scared of that last guy they gave them the job just in case 💀

[@claudiabarillas5618]

They had to protect the library.

[@beepboopboopbeep3]

For the safety of the librarians

[@lizvtaz6]

I found this guy to be relatable. I only ever talk to pepole at work.

[@BrickBusterVideo647]

Plot twist: the interview is to work at a library

[@xvxy4441]

@@BrickBusterVideo647 NAH THATS CRAZY

[@markymark443]

“Do you have any experience with kids?” “I mean I was one” Technically they’re not wrong. That is a more than valid point.

[@WolfTrot]

Technically

[@IfImCommentingStopMe]

If I was in on that interview, I would have laughed with that response and followed up with a clarification about taking care of other, younger kids

[@yeayea-tz2kq]

this is a good anwser though

[@M1sterBruh]

that’s the kind of answer you give when you’re high enough to walk straight into heaven

[@_OMister_]

There’s a way more sinister way to answer this question 💀

[@thalloutboy]

“Are you an assertive person?” “NO. Absolutely not.”

[@osasunaitor]

The Assertive Paradox

[@ArtOfShannonLee]

Assertive but not very self-aware. Or Assertive and a compulsive liar. 😂

[@MamaMOB]

Well that was pretty assertive!

[@AzraelScott]

…but wait-

[@mollytaylor8122]

​@ArtOfShannonLee Or not assertive but decidedly too self aware

[@AidanWR]

Can't believe you got it into the cup first try, then recorded a bunch of misses just to make us believe you missed it a bunch. So humble

[@jmatt440]

No he used math to calculate the perfect angle to get the stuff in the cup he couldn't have got it in first try that's physically impossible /s

[@olivia..gracee]

@@jmatt440hes mr peabody lol

[@arcticfluffyfoxy]

@@jmatt440 oh hey look it's "Mr I hate fun"

[@jmatt440]

@@arcticfluffyfoxy dude I said /s which means i'm being sarcastic

[@Glowing0v3rlord]

@@jmatt440 Yeah, that's not how sarcasm works...

[@Michelle-xz7pl]

They asked: "Have you ever been convicted of a felony?" I heard: "Have you ever heard of baloney?" My answer: "Yes, why? Am I going to need that here?"

[@веноминкус]

that’s such a strange thing to ask 😭

[@Michelle-xz7pl]

@@веноминкус ln the US its actually a pretty standard question for some jobs. I'm just an idiot who didn't hear that correctly.

[@ERROR-ei5yv]

I'm just trying to figure out in what world "felony" rhymes with "baloney"

[@knockout8157]

@@ERROR-ei5yvfeh-lo-nee Ba-lo-nee. I see nothing unusual here.

[@Michelle-xz7pl]

@@ERROR-ei5yv lol look, sometimes auditory processing is sort of throwing darts at things until my brain goes :THAT IS TOTALLY WHAT THEY SAID

[@fcninja_1211]

Video idea: Non-English speakers not knowing correct words for things. My friend has a polish cousin, and he didn't know the word for vomiting. So when his little brother suddenly began throwing up, he ran to his family saying, ''HELP, HE'S... umm... REFUNDING HIS FOOD''

[@anisah8546]

Lol that's a great idea. I have two stories of that: A Polish family-friend told her male colleagues she had a "breast" on her arm, and lifted up her sleeve to reveal a bruise. My Bangladeshi dad said to a lady "I'll keep touching you" instead of "I'll keep in touch."

[@fcninja_1211]

@@anisah8546 both of those are the most cursed things i have ever heard 💀

[@limejuice6564]

luckily I never talked to someone in english enough to use that word, but I really thought that molesting meant bothering because in spanish bothering is molestar

[@fcninja_1211]

Oh god...

[@thefatcontrollershat]

Recently met a Chinese person who confused clever and handsome

[@NoBloons]

Interviewer: "What is your biggest weakness?" Me: *zones out for 10 seconds* Me: "this question apparently."

[@epictoast]

did you get the job

[@thmxsz]

please tell me you got the job

[@NoBloons]

1. I should clarify, this is not my quote. It's a close friend recapping their interview. 2. They did indeed get the job

[@epictoast]

@@NoBloons let's go he got the job 🥳🥳🥳

[@NoriMori1992]

@@NoBloons What was the job?

[@elfiot]

My mom used to use the phrase “if it were a snake it would have bit them” to describe someone hunting for something that was actually within arms reach of them. She stopped after a 2 foot long snake got into our car and slithered into my sister’s lap for warmth on a cold night. It did not bite her and dad pulled over and flung it into a neighbor’s yard to get it off her lap; but no one thought I was funny when I said “on her lap? If it were a snake it would have bit her!”

[@theflatsixth]

tough crowd

[@SunsetDragon]

smh obviously dont know a good joke when they hear one

[@eowynsummer8271]

I read the phrase like "If it were a snake I would have bit them" and thought it was going to be a story about how your mom would used the phrase but worded wrongly lol

[@wasquash]

😭😭😭😭🙏

[@yet_another_communist]

This phrase is used a lot here in Brazil.

[@Random-bi9bg]

I once had a nose bleed right before an interview, but managed to keep my clothes clean. Then I had to sneeze and the whole interview room, interviewer included, looked like part of a murder scene.

[@M1sterBruh]

bro’s never heard of covering one’s face. after covid you have no excuse lmfao.

[@ariellenahh]

OMG😭😭

[@danielciocilteu3545]

Skull EMOJIIIIII !!!

[@lexifarley844]

"Thong-Clad Buttocks" Well that certainly sounds like a fancy pants overstatement

[@TrixterTheFemboy]

dibs on the band name

[@lexifarley844]

@@TrixterTheFemboy nauirce?

[@strogonoffcore]

@@TrixterTheFemboy i came to say that

[@TrixterTheFemboy]

@@lexifarley844 wha...?

[@lexifarley844]

@@TrixterTheFemboy noice+naur=nauirce

[@Goofiest_Ball]

Instructions unclear, I have recieved 20 dollars from the job interview

[@scuffed-dice]

Nice blow (said like wii sports bowling victory noise)

[@realalien.fromspace]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@-roachperson-]

BAHAHAHHA ABSHWHWHRJEONTNROEKWVEBWKSKFIEDIEIDIEIDIE

[@kodahyphenlee]

huh? i dont get it... OH

[@jwalster9412]

Congratulations, you made more than Canadian minimum wage.

[@jasonpatterson8091]

I'm a teacher, and I once said during an interview that, "I like working with the weird kids - I was one of them." Not my best self-recommendation. Did get the job though.

[@WoodlouseFairy]

As a weird kid i may be biased but that sounds like a fairly reasonable self recommendation, glad you got the job!

[@Welari12]

Just sounds like a witty bit of humor to me. - Also a teacher.

[@aubiiu6937]

i mean if you were a weird kid you’d know how to take care of weird kids, right? probably one of the advantages

[@HandledToaster2]

As a weird kid I appreciate teachers like you

[@satgurs]

Honestly doesn't even sound that bad.

[@alexagerszewski6271]

“what would you do if i asked you to do something you don’t want to do?” i replied with a five minute rant about the nature of morality before he stopped me to explain that he meant it in reference to cleaning the bathrooms.

[@izaridho2019]

You've got your priorities sorted out tho 😅

[@NoriMori1992]

Did you get the job?

[@yohomie4098]

something i would do

[@RedStripeMedia]

I did this as well i cried during it

[@SherryAAAAAAAAA]

At first I thought the question meant "you have to choose one thing you don't like doing and you're gonna do it, what will you choose?"

[@blepr]

1. With a straw 2. With a fan 3. Directly…

[@-fireball65-]

With wind too

[@Matt_Rose]

Footpumps and bellows also 🌬

[@miauthemiau]

burps

[@sfosac]

6. On the bottom......

[@BiscuitFlash]

@@Matt_Rose 👁️ 👄 👁️

[@thefisherkings8409]

11:04 Interviewee: "I might blow up a library or something. You know, just send all those free books up in flames." Interviewee: Bookshop owner: "Marj, tell the other candidates to go home."

[@coolwarfare]

Make the interviewee go home and then you get rid of potential competitors

[@darktodds]

@@coolwarfare yes but its clear he has a passion for burning free books that they can channel!

[@majman446]

I read Marj as Maj and thought for a while "yo the fuck do you want?"

[@manuman5319]

Well if he didn't get the job he would've set his library on fire

[@rambofan334]

"Are you currently employed?" "Thank you."

[@cludiix]

Always be respectful 🔥

[@Cannash54]

I applied for a job where I coach people on how to do well at job interviews. When asked what my greatest weakness is, I responded "I'm bad at job interviews." I got the job and have been there for almost a year now.

[@viridiannucleon]

Oh wise master, what is thy charisma modifier?

[@thekingscrown8931]

@@viridiannucleon mf rolled a nat 20 for his job interview

[@aaravgulati2]

Coaches don't play

[@asierx7047]

I mean, if that's your _greatest_ weakness then it means it can only go up from there!

[@FriendlyNeighbourhoodPickle]

So, you lacked the one thing you needed for the job and, if I'm correct, still got hired? Well if I ever have a job interview for like a zoo or sm and the interviewer asks what my greatest weakness is, ill remember you and say 'Well I'm scared of animals'

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

I’ve never had a job interview fiasco, but one time, I was auditioning for a play, and this girl, when given a scene to read, apparently forgot how scripts work and said her character’s name before every line. She got the part.

[@PLC_Productions]

how did she get the part? did they at least tell her to stop

[@Meela9088]

Maybe no one else went for the part, so the girl got it by default

[@PLC_Productions]

@@Meela9088 fair, but the commenter could have been auditioning for the same part as the girl, probably not though

[@Meela9088]

@@PLC_Productions true

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

@Meela9088 @PLC_Mapping She figured it out eventually, but I don’t know how she got it either. There weren’t many people auditioning, but she wasn’t the only candidate. She did great in the actual performance, at least.

[@jamessmithson-br7rm]

These stories make me feel much better… a few I can recall 1) My shirt kept unbuttoning itself, rather than acknowledge it I kept doing the buttons back up whilst I answered their questions. 2) I left my bag in the interview room. I didn’t realise until I’d left the building and the interviewer had to be called back down to escort me to the room to collect the bag 3) Spilt coffee down my white shirt before the interview, so I refused to take my jacket off. It was the middle of a heatwave and the building didn’t have AC (it was in England). They kept saying, it’s really ok you can take your jacket and tie off. But I kept refusing, insisting I was okay - even though sweat was visible rolling down my face, into my eyes and off the end of my nose.

[@jamessmithson-br7rm]

And I got one of those jobs… so chin up buddy if you have an embarrassing experience

[@madeleineruusu]

​@@jamessmithson-br7rm I have to know, which one?

[@TerpleDerp2600]

@@madeleineruusuI second this

[@jacobcain8203]

@@jamessmithson-br7rm come on, don't leave us hanging, which one did you get?

[@theaquaticz]

So??? Which one was it???

[@lepidodendr0n]

Just had a job interview last Wednesday. Immediately after thanking the man interviewing me, I tripped and fell down the stairs that led to his office. This was a bar and grill with a few people inside ordering food, all anyone heard on the opposite end of the door was "Oh watch out for those stairs-" *BANG BANG BANG* I still got the job, and I start tomorrow! EDIT: I hate to be like “thanks for the likes guys 🤓” but this community is so sweet. Thank you all for the congratulations and encouragement! My first shift ended a few hours ago and it went super well! My starting pay is much higher than I expected for my position, I have friends that work with me, and my bosses are super sweet unproblematic people! And our head chef yells “Wooooo!!” at random! I love it here :) (i did get hot sauce in my eyes and the smell of the sauce was so potent everyone was gagging but oh well 😭)

[@coshuloser]

good luck!!

[@SNESPrime]

Congratulations!

[@cheeseburgermonkey7104]

Incredible

[@SebastianSebastian-j7f]

congratulations! and watch out for those stairs

[@markomega8719]

Happy to hear that. I hope the working conditions are good or at least okay. As long as one has a job and is reasonably healthy, more happy moments always come. The wait might be long though.

[@denisa_the_jedi]

I'm autistic, so job interviews are my worst nightmare and I never got a job at a company who did interviews only. I walked myself out of an interview because the interviewer really insisted I answer the "when do you see yourself in 5 years?" question. I first said I don't know, many things can change in 5 years. He insisted. I said I really can't predict anything. He insisted again. I told him I changed my mind and I don't want the job anymore, and left. It wasn't a dream job anyway, but I was applying for my first job ever.

[@daniellalloyd1082]

Same. I can't understand formal settings and the invisible protocols you're just meant to "know" for the life of me - wouldn't be surprised if I genuinely gave an answer like "spiders" to the biggest weakness question at some point, tbh. I didn't even realise until this video that would be an inappropriate answer...

[@suungjinu]

@@daniellalloyd1082 i wouldnt say inappropriate, but definitely.......unorthodox

[@zombieslayer1468]

the answer to that question is probably a high(ish) position at that job

[@baguettegott3409]

Same, I'm autistic and struggle so badly with this insane environment where you just... HAVE to lie. It's expected of you. I can't do that! I just always say the truth and do my best to at least phrase it nicely, but most of the time that obviously doesn't work. My dad got his current job that he's been supporting us with for three decades by straight up lying and saying he speaks French. When he got the job he took a really intense crash course and then just winged it and it all worked out, now he does speak French. But never in a million years could I do something like that.

[@succuboi.]

I'm also autistic but with other disabilities (and am noticeably queer) I had a seizure in my first job interview and they still wanted me Working in healthcare is a great option for disabled people in the UK because there are loads of entry level positions that don't even require a-levels (search "NHS trac") and they have great accomodations I've received the job offer but it's still "pending review" per se but imma be a real lab tech soon :3

[@zephie531]

My mother answered the ‘how would your friends and family describe you?’ Question with ‘…unusual?’, then had to try and make that an acceptable answer for a nursery teacher. She got the job!

[@Swift_Lemon]

That’s impressive 😂

[@yeahokaycoolcool]

I similarly got asked "describe your personality" and I just said "im weird...." And then chuckled. Like "huhuh" kinda chuckle. I did not clarify. I didn't even think to clarify lmao 🙃 I only recently realized I should've tried to turn it into something positive and that's why the interviewer stared blankly at me for so long. 😑 This was like 3 years ago btw

[@rikav8959]

u​

[@rikav8959]

uu​

[@Firewolf_alpha]

KZbin is drunk again, it says the video was posted 6 hours ago, and there's a reply from 20 hours ago, a and it says there's one reply to this comment when there's five...

[@Wingman-69]

That notification popping up, containing the words „blow“ and „job“ make me grateful, that nobody saw it

[@-roachperson-]

😭

[@WasatchWind]

Seriously I'm afraid to let people hold my phone, not cause I have anything bad saved on it but because you never know what notification will come up from Matt Rose, Game Grumps, or Ordinary Sausage

[@chaosspider5765]

​@WasatchWind game grumps probably calling a beloved game shit because they are so unbelievably terrible at games, and are trying their absolute hardest to make the game look super buggy and unpolished

[@evilcatfuhreal]

​@@chaosspider5765and iirc being extremely abusive to dingdong from oneyplays? im not sure

[@WasatchWind]

@@chaosspider5765 Dude I just think they're funny lol

[@urlocalbee_]

Instructions unclear: i accidentally interviewed the interviewer

[@gaminggamesgamergaming2970]

Instructions unclear: I accidentally gave the interviewer a blowjob

[@MrC0MPUT3R]

I ended up doing this interviewing as a developer because I was interested in how their product worked. I stopped after the interview commented on it, but I would have kept asking questions lol. I was offered the job, but I turned it down for another.

[@Kondoge]

How?

[@VOgaming51official]

someone once told me and a few other people in the room to do this. Me and my friend both thought it was stupid.

[@VOgaming51official]

@@Kondoge probably the "do you have any questions?" part

[@Shark_1982]

The worst one I can actually remember was a clerical role for a housing rental office and panic literally overtook my entire brain, so I walked into the room, the interviewer asked me if I would like to take a seat, I stared at him like a complete psycho for 10 seconds then said "No thanks" and turned around and walked out. Then had a break down outside the building. Good times.

[@Nutzername36]

How polite from you :D

[@keawarren]

Once interviewed for a position at a Catholic non-profit hospital. Turned around on the main stairway too quickly when I heard someone call my name and knocked an elderly nun down a flight of stairs. Like, more than a dozen stairs. I can still hear the thuds.

[@PinnePon]

Was she alright?

[@Random-bi9bg]

Did you get the job?

[@PinnePon]

@@Random-bi9bg asking the real questions

[@keawarren]

@@Random-bi9bg I did! Been here for almost 20 years.

[@inquizition9672]

​@@PinnePon apparently the elderly nun was not okay

[@ADAN_IS_CHAOS]

"Chedderhorse" sounds like a new invention

[@hobx6063]

Or a pop music band

[@LeoFlipnotes]

Or a band name

[@Ralph_ralphster]

or a new breed

[@Rainbowdragon2]

Or a bluegrass band.

[@Matt_Rose]

or a new species of beetle or something

[@elemental4999]

was being interviewed for a fast food job, when asked why i was applying there i straight up said "i just want the money" and they hired me regardless.

[@pilyglot3037]

Lol that *is* the only honest answer XD

[@timmiller1]

There really is no other answer

[@patrickkunkle5958]

Well nobody applies for a fast food job out of wanting to build character and connect with others

[@smiles9882]

No cause wtf are you actually supposed to say to that question. Why else would anyone want to work fast food beyond money?

[@v0id_d3m0n]

​@@smiles9882ig you could explain why you want the money if there's a cool reason behind it

[@transmission3143]

I am a recruitment professional. Some years ago we interviewed someone and asked him if he was comfortable working under close supervision. His reply was "Absolutely, I can take orders like a Nazi".

[@desertels5119]

Holy moly

[@NoriMori1992]

Did he get the job?

[@transmission3143]

@@NoriMori1992 Haha no, he didn't. Not just because of that, but it was a factor.

[@ahmataevo]

@@transmission3143 - Strange, most places are only hiring order takers who don't ask questions.

[@sherwinashford]

@@transmission3143 Here's another question: Is a sense of humor really worth showing in an interview? What is the difference between a charismatic person in a job interview compared to a charismatic person, say a party?

[@riannascott8716]

I have been underprepared for many interviews, but I’ll never forget the most recent when the guy said “are you flexible? Can you handle varying difficulties and still be willing to work” and I responded “oh yeah flexible is my middle name. My husbands military” didn’t realize until after that it sounded like I was talking about our bedroom life

[@sapphiresuicune6787]

"tell us about a time you had to make a quick decision" "Saying this"

[@Alicerxses]

Reall

[@kormannn1]

5:14 What's wrong? I don't get it.

[@semprequevoceleroscomentar8446]

​@kormannn1 I might be wrong, but I guess the interviewer asked a question in French and the person answered "yes" in another language. Sorry for the bad English tho, that's not my native language

[@kormannn1]

@@semprequevoceleroscomentar8446 well, it proves that the person is bilingual...?

[@taysem321]

yeah but they're asked if they speak french (in french) and reply yes (in spanish). also "si" = "if" in french. they messed up

[@24karatmagic]

the dramatic reenactment at 4:00 really enhances the story LOL

[@henriouellet8416]

it's incredible

[@MrJaspett]

Reminds me of a "fun" first interview question in a group setting, "What is your superpower?" One poor woman answered "I'm anally clean."

[@bencenagy5459]

wtf was the thought process 💀💀💀

[@alicepersson9568]

Anal is an adjective meaning "very careful/meticulous"​@@bencenagy5459

[@vofcoffins1038]

I’m gonna assume she meant it like in an “anal retentive” way??

[@fredhasopinions]

that's kind of cute, she's so innocent she forgot the primary meaning of anal for a sec

[@AbigailTheRockEater]

Did she get the job?

[@Alicia-zf3nq]

This makes me feel so much better about my failed job interviews. For my first interview for a job at my uni, it turned out my housemate was my interviewer. She knew me so well that she obviously saw through all the bullshit I was saying. During my second interview for a position at a prestigious degree, the interviewers asked me why I wanted to become a researcher and I responded with "Researchers are cool". That one still haunts me to this day

[@justchiling22]

Did you get the job at your uni? 👀

[@Alicia-zf3nq]

@@justchiling22 Fortunately not lol. As soon as I entered the interview, I realised I was terribly uninformed about the position I was applying for as well. The professor that I completely messed up with during that second interview gave me a job two years later, though. I don't think he recognised me as that student that completely embarrassed themselves during the interview, but I recognised him and couldn't stop thinking about it for the entire job interview

[@NoriMori1992]

That second one is such a legit answer though! I don't see that as a fail at all!

[@EncryptedLiberty]

Today I learned I'm actually well adjusted and socially adept.

[@agarcia3986]

Damn how does that feel bro?

[@EncryptedLiberty]

@@agarcia3986 Shocking.

[@GloomyFish]

makes me feel a bit better about bursting into tears after the first question, and answering every other question with "i dont know"

[@_-drowsy-_]

Oh that would so be me 😭

[@The-S-H3lf-Eater]

What in the goddamn is that pfp???

[@gummidon1618]

@@The-S-H3lf-Eater 👁️ 👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️

[@The-S-H3lf-Eater]

@@gummidon1618 I have never used tinder, why are these eyes staring at me?

[@gummidon1618]

@@The-S-H3lf-Eater I actually do not remember why I did that sorry

[@Imtiredofyourbs]

My first job interview occured when I was 14. I've got too enthusiastic at first and then when I understood that I won't get the job I started crying while very awkwardly trying to hide it and my interviewer felt so bad she gave my cookies and tea. Lol.

[@The-S-H3lf-Eater]

Well at least you got something out of it.

[@bigjerome-wz4uo]

Mine was also at 14, and the interviewer was really not reciprocating my attempts to be friendly. I felt like I was getting hazed or something lol. It was going fine until she asked "Why should we hire you over other applicants?" I had no idea how to answer and just made up some bullshit for the most awkward 30 seconds ever 😂 Still got the job somehow

[@Xnoob545]

Holy shit, at FOURTEEN? I'm 15 right now and i could NOT pass a job interview. I think i could do the same thing. But like, is it even legal to work at 14? Surely that falls under child labor laws, no?

[@Imtiredofyourbs]

@Xnoob545 I'm not from the US. In Russia it's legal to work for half of the day with parental consent from 14 as long as the job isn't dangerous/involved hard labor/unfit for children (no adult settings, tobacco or alcohol involved)

[@--CHARLIE--]

That "if it was a snake it would've bit me" expression does make sense though, which is more than can be said of most figures of speech, even if I and apparently everyone else have never heard it before. For those who don't get it it's because snakes are sneaky and if you don't see them, and let them sneak up on you, they bite you. Hence, a small problem you failed to spot that is pointed out to you at the last second can be described with the phrase.

[@EmeraldSands]

That expression must be a regional thing, I’ve heard it plenty! It feels like it might be a redneck saying dhkchk (I’m from the rural southeastern US)

[@AgentPh03n1x]

my parents used to use that one all the time so frankly i’m surprised that it seems that no one’s heard of it

[@MrDannyDetail]

I've been looking up the phrase on the interwebs and it seems it's actually generally used when something you were searching for turned out to be right under your nose the whole time, as in it was so close to me all along that I probably touched it during the search and thus if it was a snake it would have bitten me. To my mind that doesn't fit so well for an undone zip, unless before they were told about their undone zip they had already been searching for the zip in the position it was meant to be in and failed to notice it was there all along but just a few inches lower down (i.e. undone), but that's a bit of a stretch to make the idiom work.

[@BrickBusterVideo647]

My mom always says that figure of speech when I need help finding something. Of course she magically spawns it in the exact place I spent 20 minutes looking for it.

[@DaNintendude]

I'm verys surprised that nobody seems to know this one. Probably one of the most common idioms I heard as a kid.

[@juliewaid1626]

When I was sixteen I went to my very first job interview at a Golden Corral buffet and I ended up panicking and leaving because I did not know there were going to be questions.

[@v0id_d3m0n]

Bro😭

[@LIXOUALeBg]

i mean, what did you expect

[@gewnurb]

​@@LIXOUALeBgprobably a job

[@NoriMori1992]

Oh no 😂 What had you thought interviews were like?

[@Danitheguy]

Hello me want job worker: random question 16 yo you: running violently

[@parawixlia117]

you know it's a good one when matt says "finally" but there's still over a minute left on the runtime

[@GeneralKenobi69420]

Mental illness ahh pfp

[@oliveslays]

i got the news that my grandma died in the middle of my job interview. STILL GOT THE JOB (i was crying for the whole second half but still answering questions)

[@naan000]

oh that must have been horrible :(

[@NoriMori1992]

Wow. Seems kind of heartless that they didn't reschedule? But at least you got the job. What job was it?

[@sonicboombayah]

that’s actually mad. also weezer pfp

[@jackdoesrandomstuff]

I misread this as your grandma dying while shes in a job interview

[@SillyAbby-c4y]

I'm so sorry! Wish you the best and fly high to OlivaSlays grandmother🪽🕊

[@jaimecarter3988]

I'm a singer, and we are trained every day to walk into an audition setting and say "Hello, my name is (name) and I'll be singing (title) by (composer)." As much of that training as we receive, it doesn't appear that audition panels have been taught the same thing. There is very little that can cause classical singers to fall 100% silent, but nothing will make me forget every word in my vocabulary more than a casting director going "So what would you like to start with?" right before I start my slate. YOU TAUGHT US THE SCRIPT, WHY ARE YOU NOT FOLLOWING THE SCRIPT???

[@VivAtreyu]

To know that you can adapt if something happens

[@fallen535_online]

I once had an interview in a huge, like three universities size, building. I got there early, the security at the gate gave me directions, and I went on my merry way. Half an hour later (the time my interview started) I had to call the HR lady, since I was still lost. She gave me directions. It didn't help. In the end, I spent there almost two hours, lost in the corridors. Oh, and the security pass was only for one part of the building, so somehow I was also trespassing and got in trouble. Later I learned only a few candidates made it to the actual interview...

[@isitsweet9567]

That sounds like something out of The Mysterious Benedict Society

[@timmiller1]

Finding the interview WAS the interview.

[@fallen535_online]

@@timmiller1 "We regret to inform you that your application has been rejected due to your lack of a sense of direction." 💀

[@cr_chain]

This british dude for some reason always makes my mondays better

[@-roachperson-]

Same 🧌

[@cr_chain]

@@-roachperson- 🧌

[@Lufia4]

Mine too!

[@Meela9088]

It’s Tuesday in Australia but yeah

[@porgman3764]

Same and I don’t understand why

[@Cat.str8.from.h3ll]

Interviewer: "do you believe you're good with kids?" My ass without thinking: "I had to take care of younger brother and he ain't dead yet, so yeah" I got the job tho

[@satgurs]

will use this if i get this question, thank you

[@diy-guyishere7615]

​@@satgurslol to that, off topic but your pfp is cool, love it!

[@rafaeltemplario]

You looked confident, that got you the job.

[@babebee999]

I love relishing in other people’s embarrassments to help me cope with my own

[@Secretgeek2012]

I have had the worst fucking Monday, and this is exactly what I needed. Also, my interview horror story - Final interview for a senior subject matter expert role at a massive classic GB company. Bought a new suit and everything. Trouble was, my (cheap) new suit and the fancy leather of the chair didn't seem to want to cooperate, and I started sliding down in my seat. I was so focused on the questions that I didn't really notice until I was slouched in the chair like a moody teenager, at which point I shuffled my way back to a professional posture. Only for it to happen all over again. Twice. I didn't get the job.

[@Meela9088]

Ouch

[@kiyote437]

What is a GB company?

[@alexsilva-vn7jc]

🤣ohgod 🤣

[@Secretgeek2012]

@@kiyote437 Great British

[@lunarkomet]

Look at the bright side, maybe they just thought your answers weren't good and wouldn't have hired you regardless

[@NachoCheeseDorito-Kun]

"I was trying to write with a tampon." Writing your credentials in blood will surely leave an impression.

[@supernovasquid]

Period blood that is

[@jakistam1000]

Where do you think she was reaching for the pen? :O

[@The-S-H3lf-Eater]

When I get an interview I hope of The Heat commencing, and I get nose bleeds so that I write the information in blood red.

[@edibleglue5858]

I showed up a day early, tracked grass in, pointed at her chapstick and told her I used to have the same one and ate it... and somehow got the job. Still have that job a year later.

[@equivalentconcept1403]

No shot you came a day early, ate the interviewer's chapstick, and got the job. Did you put the whole tube of chapstick in your mouth and swallow it or just take a lick off the top like a push-pop? What were you even applying for? Was the act of consuming chapstick intentional? What was your thought process? I have so many questions!

[@edibleglue5858]

@equivalentconcept1403 I did not eat the chapstick but mentioned that I used to eat the exact same chapstick 😂 I was applying for position of a cashier

[@catbatrat1760]

@@edibleglue5858 OHHHHH! That makes much more sense! XD

[@ChonkyCats]

😂

[@edibleglue5858]

GUYS update I quit because I got physically assaulted by a customer

[@timfunnydragon]

Chick-fil-A interviewer asked "how would your friends describe you" I said "I don't really have friends, and it depends on who you ask, but some people say I'm like a school shooter"

[@Swift_Lemon]

😦….

[@jonolivier9126]

Welp...

[@omnitroph1501]

Did you get the job?

[@vanitasz]

Damn

[@taxidancing87]

SKULL EMOJIIIIII

[@faceless_0_0]

the words “blow” and “job” being so close to each other made me concerned for a second

[@illusionofquality979]

...oh! So that's why people meant by the title. I was thinking "blow" as in drugs and I was so confused since I can't imagine what that has to do with job interviews unless you are on Wallstreet.

[@cludiix]

​@@illusionofquality979LMAOO 😭

[@Scypek]

Pretty ironic from someone with a name as inappropriate as yours. "Fac" could be pronounced as a sex word, "e" is a type of drug, and "less" sounds like a lebsian. So a sex drug lebsian, and the last part could be a very flat lenis with testacles.

[@aMyst_1]

The 'a' in the title is like Spider-man holding together the two halves of the boat

[@S0ull3ssroblox]

@@aMyst_1 "SKULL EMOJIIIIII"

[@restless_child]

At one interview at a juice shop, I was asked “why do you wanna work here?” and my answer was “I like juice”

[@asierx7047]

juicepilled

[@halfsine]

the only correct answer (other than "i want money")

[@maximilian2843]

Hired!

[@KnightmarePhoenix_official]

I did my very first interview ever while sick as a dog and on benadryl. I almost drove directly into oncoming traffic on the way out of the parking lot afterwards. But I did indeed get the job

[@SvanTowerMan]

Reminds me of how the first time I drove home from work by myself (instead of having my parents either drive me or supervise my driving), I accidentally drove the wrong way down a one-way street, didn't stop at a stop sign, and forgot to use my turn signal before turning. Amazingly, no one noticed, and I never got pulled over.

[@Antifearn]

Wait, you used to be a dog?

[@KnightmarePhoenix_official]

@@Antifearn Tumblr reading comprehension

[@cludiix]

​@@Antifearnim confused too

[@spartanbeast3575]

@@Antifearn sick as a dog is a simile and figure of speech, you could consider it short for "as sick as a dog"

[@hotpotato5587]

5:36 Well if you consider the verb “ameliorate” meaning “to make better” and the suffix “-ific” (like in terrific), we can say that ameliorific is a new adjective meaning “problem-solving”

[@spartanbeast3575]

A bunch of people added it to Urban dictionary, go check it out 😂😂

[@thenonsequitur]

Yeah, if I was interviewing someone who gave that answer, that would be a point in their favor for sure.

[@skld-xm]

Exactly what I thought too. Except, you know -ate should end in -ing if converting to adjective form.

[@skld-xm]

Edit: I said -able on accident. I’m a clown

[@NoriMori1992]

Or "self-improving".

[@donniecatalano]

I also shook my soon to be manager's hand a bit too vigourously and made it pop. I didn't hurt him, but he looked at his hand in such a surprised face 🤣 and said "are we in a cartoon or what".

[@cleowithmayo9359]

I once accidentally put a skill on my resume twice. But I put those little indicators on the side of how strong that skill was. I gave them different ratings. First interview I ever had though was in front of an audience in a mock interview in a class about getting a job. They asked me the weaknesses question. I had never heard that, so I answered genuinely. “Anxiety,” I said. He stopped the class demonstration to say, “Don’t say that.” Damn.

[@Anti_Septikum]

So you are supposed to lie?

[@reaganjaegan]

The story of the person walking into the closet and staying there for 20 minutes out of embarrassment almost made me pee myself

[@ashleyh9759]

I showed up 4 hours late to my first job interview due to a miscommunication, listened to the manager talk for 10 minutes and didn't say a word, then hypothetically ignored a lady's husband dying and told someone their dog looked sick. Still got the job

[@sharrpshooter1]

What do you mean hypothetically??? I need to know more

[@shanilevanon4439]

What job was it?

[@ashleyh9759]

@@sharrpshooter1 The manager gave me some scenarios to see how I'd do. One was "An old woman says she needs litter that's lightweight and cheap because her husband just died and can't carry it for her anymore, what do you say to her?" I answered, like a true saleswoman, "I'd ask what her budget is" (idk I was 17 and nervous) and the manager just kinda gave me a look and was like "I'd say I'm sorry for your loss" Then he asked what I'd say if someone walked in with their dog and I panicked and said "uh---I don't know---uh if their dog looks sick I'd point them to the vet section??" and he was like wtf no

[@M4SOPMODII]

I once got asked a question about what if I was the only person behind the counter and a bunch of customers came in and lined up all at once. I, without even having a chance to think, said "I'd cry." I could tell from the look on her face that the interview was a lost cause at that point but we kept going. She later asked me a question about when I had to think quickly and I froze for like 15 seconds before telling a story about how I accidentally lit a rag on fire at an old job and how I grabbed the burning rag, threw it on the ground and stomped it out. Didn't get the job.

[@indigoecho9016]

10:42 has the same vibes as "In case you got covered in the Repulsion Gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: 'Do not get covered in the Repulsion Gel.'"

[@oldfashionedboots2774]

I took a class where over half of it was dedicated to being interviewed for a job- the best advice is to answer the question in ONLY the context of the job- so like, you like theatre, that’s ur hobby: instead of saying “it’s fun” you recontextualize it as “i love working in with a team of people who are dedicated to getting the job done and doing it well” Interviewers are never asking about your personal life, their only asking for reasons you should work for them lol TLDR: interviews are mind games and you just gotta learn the rules

[@marthmallow7420]

effectively hiked up to the mountain where i was about to apply for a job, got there huffing and puffing, handed them my resume and asked for a glass of water i got the job, i have been one of the janitors there for a little over 3 years now

[@marthmallow7420]

3:19 SINISTERLY 💀💀💀

[@dfquartzidn6151]

Damn, congrats, man. I guess they knew that if you worked that hard just to reach a job interview, you’re worth hiring!

[@erich_ika]

so happy to be a comedic dude. 90% of these mistakes could be fixed by pretending they were a joke.

[@cosmicdahlia]

fr if my button flew into the interviewees coffee id point it out immediately cause id be laughing my ass off otherwise

[@Joao-ur7ey]

The 7:36 one was hilarious. I can't stop laughing lololol. Maybe english is not his native language. Where I'm from the phrase "if it was a snake it would have bit me" is a very common expression we say to things we can't find that are right in front of us. I didn't know this expression didn't existed in english until now lmaoo

[@heatheretaithaha]

he might be southern (usa) bc ive heard that phrase all my life. typically from older people

[@uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhidk]

I thought that phrase meant “If I realised it later, I would of beat myself up about it”

[@NoriMori1992]

It does exist in English, it just isn't common, and its meaning is really not obvious if you haven't heard it before. It's even worse because this guy wasn't even using it right; he wasn't _looking_ for his fly. So even without the innuendo problem, that would have been a baffling thing to say.

[@TedEhioghae]

​@@NoriMori1992Maybe it means something obvious. He should've seen that his zip was opened.

[@Cringe_Control_Cameron]

That title was purposeful and you know it, Matt.

[@paperstrawsYT]

☠️

[@grayanddevpdx]

@@paperstrawsYT *BOOTLEGGG SKHULLLAMOJJIEEEEEE*

[@-roachperson-]

💀

[@cheddarsunchipsyes8144]

@@-roachperson-*SKULLLLLLLL EMOOOJIIIII*

[@h3artz.and.st4rz]

💀

[@TenMillionFireflies]

Nothing prepared me for the dude who walked into the closet. I almost died laughing at that

[@lizanna6390]

It was the reaction that got me of just staying in there for so long. Brain really abandoned him there.

[@ahmataevo]

"DAAAD!!! TOM CRUISE LOCKED HIMSELF IN MY CLOSET!!!"

[@VkngVd]

That button was possessed with a comedic genius

[@RJ-Isaac-TSOML]

If the cover letter said "Sinisterly" I would just respond that I"m left-handed and signed it with my left hand. That is, after all, what sinister means.

[@Eyeball44]

I’ve just learned something new, thank you!

[@KasaiRayquaza]

I was applying for a library assistant job. Part of the interview was to put on a children's storytime. Now, I had been in library services for about six years already at that point, and had therefore done several storytimes in the past. But never before had I done a solo storytime, and it was always for kids (rather than the two ladies who were about 20 years my senior). The entire time I was telling the story I kept having to pause for the giggles, and my nerves/embarrassment made me forget the song section. I thought for sure I had failed but, as I was leaving, the main manager told me that I (one of the last candidates to be interviewed) was the only one who actually did a storytime. I'll have been working at that position for three years in a few months.

[@salpaka9332]

Had the same "if you were an animal which would you be" and I instantly said cat, not realizing that it might be one of the worst options to pick. I then went on for 5 minutes explaining how cats are really good at working alone yet they are pretty social creatures. Somehow got the job...

[@Musiclover-tm5es]

For that question, it doesn't really matter what you say, but the reasons why you said it and they liked your reasons!

[@ImaginaryAlchemist]

That’s such a weird interview question though, sounds like something a kid would come up with. The only right answer is cat though

[@squishy-melonpan3290]

10:52 Absolute perfection! The voice at the library part! I'm CRYING! XD

[@disbish5472]

I walked into the office and I sat in the chair of the CEO

[@A8Y9N]

💀

[@juliewaid1626]

I made the mistake of watching this video after gallbladder surgery and literally almost died from laughing. I have no regrets.

[@lexi_hana]

Hope the surgery went well! Glad you were able to have a lil giggle

[@benhelius4204]

Oh gosh, the closet one (3:35) cracket me up. As a German, I may flex with the beautiful word "Fremdschämen", which is very strong in that case (meaning being embarrassed about another persons embarrassment)

[@Toxsuke89]

in English, that would be called “second-hand embarrassment”

[@AnonymousChannel512]

@@Toxsuke89 Some argue it is synonymous to cringe

[@ArtOfShannonLee]

@@AnonymousChannel512 I’d argue this can definitely be cringe but that cringe doesn’t always have the same flavour of empathy. 😂

[@lexi_hana]

I too have been cracket up

[@Chronos-Sensei]

I found another German! “Schadenfreude” ist ebenfalls schön.

[@CarJul666]

Matt will be finding buttons in his room for years to come.

[@breadman0512]

7:34 For anyone wondering, this phrase is often used when you're looking for something you can't find, and you're looking in the right place, but still miss it. So the phrase is saying that you got so close to it but still missed it that if it were a snake, it might have biten you. The phrase dosen't even really fit this situation. Which is why he said "for some reason I said..." but apperently it's not that common a phrase.

[@Stay_away_from_my_swamp_water]

When I was preparing for an interview I legitimately prepared that when they ask me "Where do you see yourself in 5 years" I'd say "hopefully dead". I'm glad they skipped the behavioural questions.

[@Stay_away_from_my_swamp_water]

also the library guy is my spirit animal. I take the same strategy when dating. Expectedly with no success.

[@Stay_away_from_my_swamp_water]

Ok it did succeed once but it doesn't count since it didn't last long

[@isitsweet9567]

Why?

[@thepinkestpigglet7529]

Why

[@Shaytan.666]

Same

[@sandrafaith]

Interviews are a nightmare, 50+ year-old introvert me still breaks out in a cold sweat when I have to do 'em. I wish I could just say "Just trust me, I can do this job"

[@Synthwra1th]

The power I feel knowing I was able to read the title correctly

[@miloyall]

At a recent summer camp job interview they asked me if I had worked with kids before. I had over 200+ hours of community service from being a summer TA in the past but my brain responded with "Yeah, I know a few."

[@Csp499]

At 8:09 for some reason I immediately expected "...accidentally unhinged my jaw like a snake, consuming the interviewer whole".

[@yurivianna3901]

😂😂 thats funnyhahahahag

[@Pikapower7]

That's funnier than the original!

[@umbreonturtle8382]

3:29 The closet story actually has me crying on the floor like HUH-

[@-roachperson-]

I’m actually SCREAMING AAAAHQYVEYABYANYSNYSNSYKDOMDAAA

[@genericname2747]

I just.. how does that happen..

[@_AstaLily]

I just lost it 😭

[@sabotower1792]

Absolute sitcom moment

[@Genya_Is4merican]

I dont even know what I would do in that situation. Like, If I just accidentally walked into the closet and like didnt decide to come out from embarrassment, It would be harder for me to go out since I've been in there for so long😭

[@TheFlamingPiano]

I was once asked in an IT company interview "How do you see yourself in 5 years?" I took it too literally and said "Joining piano competitions and trying to build a music career". Only then did I realize it was a very wrong answer... Anyway I was already turned off by how they were hours delayed from schedule so I didn't mind getting rejected

[@Cecilpedia]

Had a job interview as a host position at a restaurant that was meant to be based on a speakeasy. It had a bakery in the front and a false wall that opened up to a dark and very nice restaurant and bar. The interviewer opened the false wall to come and meet me and I, startled, went "JESUS FUCK"

[@SkywardWarriorCosplaygamer]

I want you to know that my sister and I laughed extremely hard at the image of you waiting around and your interviewer materializing right next to you unannounced. XD

[@GunSpyEnthusiast]

" Are you an assertive person? " "I fucking better be. "

[@Man_Aslume]

There's a wolf inside you The wolf inside me: *obese Chihuahua*

[@FuzzyMH]

Matt is going to be finding buttons in his room still for the next 30 years.

[@Matt_Rose]

Real

[@CANDIxp]

Unfortunately

[@waleedalarmanazi159]

BRO i laughed out so hard and loud for 70% of these stories i rarely laugh this hard 😂😂😂 especially the closet guy LMAO

[@NoobySwooby]

I READ TITLE AS HOW TO BLOW JOB INTERVIEW 💀💀💀💀💀

[@littled5986]

ME TOO 💀💀💀

[@404Errored]

Smooooooooth....

[@VoidFork]

bro same

[@funnisilly]

SAMEEE 😭😭😭

[@lillyplaysguitar]

HELP ME TOO 😭😭😭

[@NocturnalTyphlosion]

"you mind if i got a glass of sex? i mean. water." "not at all, you're immediately hired and promoted to manager! welcome to blizzard entertainment!"

[@Grievous_Nix]

Literally the “can I have breast milk wait I mean…” meme IRL

[@CalSN20]

I read that title completely wrong 💀

[@MrMonkeVR146]

Me to...

[@Basilbasilisk]

Same sooo same

[@pengos1639]

same bro

[@SuperXavier_R]

SKULL EMOJI! -Matt Rose

[@cr_chain]

@@SuperXavier_R hey man you copied me on the other comment saxing they read it wrong Jk who the hell cares u dont even know who I am

[@scaraloth-v8f]

"what's your spirit animal?" "...elephant..?" "BRITNEY SPEARS!"