Things Could Be Better🫤: Life In Chengdu Update

[@isoldel9313]

hey I think it's a normal feeling for a lot of us that we are the ones making plans and initiate things. I have been living abroad for like 14 years and what I found the most important thing is really to focus on yourself instead of seeking comfort from others. I am at this point of life that I really don't care about making new friends anymore, like I'm 40 I don't think any of my drinking buddies or hang out friends have helped me in my career growth or personal growth in anyway. I did everything by myself, through my hard work and dedication. I have a handfull of close friends all over the world and that's more than enough.

[@amywahwah]

Agree 👍

[@bethany8906]

years ago i moved cities in china and i was unprepared for the grief i felt for the life i had left behind . gratitude , presence , belief . you will come out on the other side . there are wonderful people everywhere and you attract wonderful people . thank you for sharing 🙏

[@DIYDiaz]

I hate that you’ve hit such a rough patch, but I love that you speak so openly about it. With social media, sometimes it’s so easy to compare our dark times with someone else’s highlight reel. I love when vloggers are open and honest about their vulnerabilities because it helps normalize our own feelings and emotions. Thank you for all you do, and I pray things get better for you soon and you meet your new Chengdu bff super soon! ❤

[@dotunderscore]

Trying to make new friends as an adult DOES suck! And especially when you’re living somewhere like China where the change happens so rapidly. But, it comes with time :) For what it’s worth, I enjoy keeping up with your adventures ❤ Thank you for taking us along!

[@AWittyName]

I just want to say - thank you SO much for being real about this. It’s so easy as “armchair travelers” dreaming of visiting all these places to idealize taking the plunge and jumping into an experience like this. It’s helpful and refreshing to see both sides of the coin - the awesome and the sometimes not so awesome. Plus getting tips/ideas for how to cope, and knowing that we’re not alone if we DO experience those not great times.

[@eb94499]

It gets better Aleese ❤ I really admire your courage in starting all over. Love from Malaysia

[@yanie3000]

Transitions are so, so hard. Thank you for being real, transparent, and vulnerable with us. So many people are probably going thru a similar struggle (I know I am), so it's nice to know that we're not alone in these feelings. Wishing you smoother sailings for the rest of this year.

[@Lunaxklk]

Dear Aleese Lightyear, I have been following your channel since you started posting about your life as a teacher in China, and now I am living in Asia as well (the Philippines, to be exact). Even though I came with my twin, I can completely relate to what you talked about regarding loneliness. At least you're making an effort to learn the language, reach out to people, and step out of your comfort zone. I believe in you and am confident that you'll be more than okay. Just know that your fans will be here to support you. Thank you for being real and staying true to yourself.

[@stevemraz3883]

It does get better. I moved to a new city in the States and I really had the same depressing experience as you had here for a long time. But it became better later. It just took some time.

[@arianneriley4824]

Yay for building solid friendships in a new city. Moving is hard. Starting over is hard. Making new routines is hard. Be patient with yourself. You got this!

[@AleeseLightyear]

Being patient is key.....I keep telling myself this! Thanks for the words of encouragement!

[@disneythequeen]

It's gonna get better, Aleese! We don't know each other, but I watch your videos so you're a friend in my head hahahaha. Being vulnerable is very brave and making new friends as an adult is a real task. Hang in there :)

[@laurasanders5050]

I love and need these types of real emotion videos. Please keep doing these

[@AleeseLightyear]

OF COURSE!! Authenticity matters so much!

[@laurasanders5050]

@@AleeseLightyear ❤️

[@Alex_k_Q]

It’s just winter phenomenon 😂😂 get out on sunny days, Chengdu is beautiful! And I recommend the mountains around Chengdu like Qingcheng Mountain (青城山）, Emei Mountain(峨眉山). You don’t have to climb all the way up ( it’s really exhausting😂), try spending a weekend there, let’s say… Six Sense Hotel? Expensive but a really nice one ( and the only one of the brand in China).

[@AleeseLightyear]

ohhh I have been to Qinghcheng mountain for hiking and it's really lovely and relaxing! Some of my Chinese friends also told me about this hotel and how famous it is! I think it might be worth the price! So maybe I will go soon! Thanks so much for the recommendations!

[@kaisaa4318]

You have a heated rug 😂 Oh I know the struggle of moving to a new place and making friends when over 30. It sucks. You seem to be so much more active and braver than me putting yourself out there. I think you’re doing a great job ❤

[@JaneDoe-jp9xp]

Hey-hey, Aleese) Thank you for this channel and your frankness. You're really strong and pleasant girl, so I'm sure that you'll find Chinese buddies if you haven't already, and now you're no alone too c;

[@CatherineHall-cu9ww]

I spent the last 4 years living and working in Chengdu and just left this summer. I can definitely relate to how you are feeling. Most of the expat community left after covid and lockdowns, and Chengdu doesn't seem to have the same charm it did a few years ago. I hope you can find community 💞

[@OurQueerImpact]

Listening to you is so comforting, love putting it on like a podcast. Keep doing what you’re doing, and sharing your experiences through your content please ❤

[@BO-fp6ul]

I love that you are being proactive about your mental health. It's so important, and important to recognize when you are in a funk and just getting up and doing something about it rather than wallow in it. GOOD FOR YOU Ms. A!! You just never know what stimulus will change your perspective. The random train stop thing is cool. Being alone in a new place sucks. I hope this video helps someone other than me😃 ...🧡🧡🧡 ...You truly inspire. "I am happy enough" ...

[@渡海-q2w]

It’s the seasonal mood change my sister, you will find better mood in summer you don’t have to feel left alone. We all share the same emotions.

[@AleeseLightyear]

hhahaha.....it's not seasonal.

[@RosaliaShiweva]

Whoop whooop Congratulations 🎊🎈🍾 🎉

[@MirandaBailey-01]

Fēicháng gǎnxiè! ❤ I hope one day we'll get to meet!

[@WealthDecoders]

Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability 🙏🏾

[@AleeseLightyear]

I appreciate that

[@zak_wasserfall1512]

Girl! I love your vlogs! Love how real you get and take us on a journey with your vlogs! It's soo beautiful ✨ 8:42

[@AleeseLightyear]

thanks for the loveee!

[@llw2606]

You need to move to a big city like Shanghai, guangzhou or shenzhen where you can a lot of foreigners. Chengdu is big but people there don’t see many foreigners and afraid to get close to them. Because it is just too foreign to them.

[@AleeseLightyear]

There is no way I would just up and move again. I guess patience is key with anything. But I don’t have the strength or desire to pack up and go elsewhere now.

[@ryanzhang701]

Chengdu is one of the most developed and international cities in China, apart from Shanghai, I don’t think it has any differences for her to go to Guangzhou or Shenzhen, except for the temperature difference. There’s no perfect places when people nitpick all the time.

[@AleeseLightyear]

nitpick? Sir, did you even watch the video? The way I'm feeling isn't because of the location. I don't want to move, I don't dislike Chengdu.@@ryanzhang701

[@strawberrycake1413]

Aleese, I admire the heck out of you! You inspire me to explore my own city and be comfortable in my own company. Rooting for you! ❤❤

[@opaljohnson4762]

Thanks for your openness in sharing your feeling of loneliness. I totally get it and understand that it must be difficult. Sending hugs and hope that you find your community soon.

[@yvonneandbeyond]

Awh, these are such difficult emotions! But I can relate. Back when I lived in Japan, I moved from a town in the Osaka region to Kobe region and I experienced a lot of similar feelings of loneliness and isolation. The move also happened during the early days of the pandemic, which made it much more difficult to meet new people. I'm sure your true friends consider themselves very lucky because you seem like a wonderful person! :) I also think you are radiant whether you need to 'power cry' or you're having a great time. Hope it gets much better for you in your new city and all the best to you in 2024.

[@nadineinchina]

Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time Aleese. You are not alone though, I've been struggling with feeling like myself recently too. Starting over is hard and you should be proud of yourself for even taking that step! A year from now you will look back on this time and realize how strong you are for getting through it. Making true friends is so hard in China as expats! Wish we were closer to each other I would love to have a glass of wine with you and cry together! Big hugs to you!❤

[@lpgilber]

I get you when you talk about reciprocity. I have a friend who I was initiating most of our contact and I started to feel something about that. So, I started to slow down on that until they started reciprocating and making contact back towards me. That's how I knew they velued my friendship. It worked for me but my situation is different than yours. You are just meeting these people while I had known this person for a while. Good luck making new friends and keep trying!

[@QueenXKnit]

Tank you for being so genuine with us ❤ I hope you will find yourself back soon ❤❤❤

[@AleeseLightyear]

💜🥰

[@OmeidaYangshuo]

I really admire how forthcoming you are about your life, happinnes and struggles, and all the adventures and new things you are willing to try in search of joy, fun, balance, connection, etc. As long as you invite it into your life, good things will definitely find their way to you! Loneliness is not easy, but as any challenge, I believe it is a chance for growth. I wish you can turn it into solitude, learn from this experience, and become an even better version of yourself. xoxo, Nana, from the omeida team 😘

[@Enchanteralle]

Aleese, I wish I can just sit in front of you, give you a hug, and chat over random stuff while dining out. I totally understand those things you mentioned. I too feel that it's harder to make friends as you get older. People are so scattered and even with my current friends, we have to schedule weeks ahead to get together because everyone is so busy with work, family, kids, etc. Also, it's hard to meet people who would reciprocate the effort you put into the friendship. Sometimes it can feel lonely when hanging out with some people especially those you just met if you don't have a strong emotional connection. The friends closest to me are ones who I can sit there and talk about deep feelings with or crack up about anything. There are some friends you just meet up and do something fun together, but not really have a deep emotional connection with. I think that's something that takes time to build, but it can be hard when you don't see them so frequently. I can't even imagine me moving to a completely new country and trying to make friends. It's challenging enough in the U.S. Social media can be toxic and I hopped off of that for years because I don't have time to see how great other people's lives are when it's not always true. I value spending quality time in person rather than browsing at pics and clicking the like button. Hang in there. I enjoy your vlogs, but I also appreciate these things you share in videos because it's so relatable. Take care and do know that there's a lot of us out there who would love to meet you and be a friend! :)

[@rctbear2291]

Girl, I love you and I think you're awesome. Strength and Honor, Liove and Blessings!💯🕊♥⚔

[@AleeseLightyear]

Thanks for the love!

[@jhoneliab.6741]

I so missed your videos 🥰 really glad you're back to posting videos regularly. They're so calming and relatable. Keep going girl "you eat an elephant one piece at a time" 🫶🏾

[@AleeseLightyear]

Thank you so much!!

[@amaelriesterer1421]

You are so strong and brave, travelling and living in china on your own! You should be really proud of yourself❤Always having to be hyper vigilant because everything is new and different can feel soul crushing BUT it will get better. Lots of love and hugs from a solo traveler far far away😃

[@wah704]

Your hair looks amazing!

[@AleeseLightyear]

Thanks!

[@chchnchang99]

I got that feeling of incompleteness too . Especially now that I just enter in my 50s and single without a soul mate around for anything for 15 plus years, nothing make me happy at all... but you're young Aleese! You still got a lot to go honey, cheer up boo!!!

[@calvinlo6478]

Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share this struggle!! I think this makes you more relatable and helps for those struggling with similar feelings!

[@AleeseLightyear]

Absolutely!! This is why I do it!

[@jaim.6567]

Thank you for this video. I struggle with same thing in the States. I moved to a really affordable town, but haven't been able to meet people and the ones I did, it felt like I had to do all the planning. Now, Ive come to the conclusion Im just going to finish my contract and will probably move to a more expensive city but filled with more activities and single people in a similar stage of life. I do hope for you it gets better and these things are growing pains. Anyway I love all of you videos you are always very honest.

[@sayaandyangsaya2756]

Be happy and keep forward.

[@AleeseLightyear]

💜💜

[@ryanzhang701]

I wish you could adjust well soon, Chengdu is a nice city and there’re many places to explore.

[@AleeseLightyear]

Thanks! It's really not about the place! I have explored so much and it is a cool city!

[@barryglover5063]

Ms.Lightyear, 1) you are rocking the braids, 2) maybe it is time for you to find a local gym and sweat your blues away, 3) great video!

[@Tinpinming]

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@lindyralph8792]

I can imagine how lonely it must get, you are doing a great job and hopefully it'll get better soon. I'm really looking forward to hearing all the good and the bad from your new life in Chengdu. Hang in there xxx

[@r-cdmx]

Change the thought, change the condition. ✨

[@dlf4298]

Hey Aleese. We really enjoy your Channel. I'm from chengdu and I'm living in the US now for almost 5 years. My wife and i are planning to move back to chengdu next year. (she is from Tennessee.) She really likes you! Maybe We guys could Hangout If you are still there hahaha....

[@peipeiinHK]

totally understand you. it takes me average 1 year to meet real close friends in new cities no matter in my own country or elsewhere. also chengdu people are more quite than Chongqing for example, so it could take more time for you to feel connected to local people. but after all, chengdu is great city and food is great! Give yourself a bit more time! also I recommend red book 小红书 to explore the city !

[@shiwang8989]

You will be alright Aleese! Was Suprise that you are struggling in Chengdu. One of the best cities in China that I really like beside Zhuhai. Just hang in there you will get thru this rough moment😁

[@AleeseLightyear]

🫠🫠🫠

[@annagor4727]

I have a heated rug 😂 Aleese, I understand how you feel as I’ve been moving here and there since I was 16. I wasn’t great at making friends then, I haven’t become better 16 years later. That makes me cherish every meaningful friendship and every person who is reaching out time and time again like they are my true blessing ❤ I hope the feelings change for the better as life goes on! All in all, it’s quite an exciting journey 😊

[@alexanderyoung4066]

Cheer up and carry on!

[@miazhang5132]

It's so relatable of the consistent loneliness feeling with age getting bigger, that people focus more and more on own smaller families. It is even as hard staying in one place without moving! Because friends leave or friendships fade away anytime. Thanks for sharing those and you're not alone. Hugs!

[@Salomecazelles]

Your video makes me want to visit China when I go to East Asia

[@AleeseLightyear]

This video, in particular? lol Well-- you should join my China group trip happening this summer: www.trovatrip.com/trip/asia/china/china-with-aleese-lightyear-aug-2024

[@queen_be]

Such a beautiful video, thank you for being so open with us ❤️ sending you hugs & love your way. Wish I lived in China, so we can hit the streets & connect offline! Stay beautiful! I hope you enjoy the year ahead ❤️

[@RosaliaShiweva]

You are glowing 😊😊😊

[@easymi9964]

chengdu is famous for Panda，Food and Bar。Happy new year！

[@ColorsOfTheeWind]

Xin nian Quai LE.😁 from what you were talking about it feels like youre homesick from Beijing. You made a big change in your life so readapting can be hard time and time again. it never really gets easy it just gets familiar and that loneliness does too. I hear where youre coming from and hope christmas and your new years was enjoyable. We see you !! and thank you for your authenticity and showing all the sides of this life, people will then know what it can really feel like in all aspects. However I do know how it feels so yeah anywho.. nice talking to you cause watching your videos feels like catching up with a friend

[@wynandroberts1068]

At least you are not with Think First anymore. Haha. Always something positive.

[@AleeseLightyear]

And very soon you will be able to say the same thing!

[@fdoctor79]

I am believing for better days ahead, Aleese. We all have our good and bad days, but it is still a blessed life. I am rooting for you as always! Godspeed and traveling graces. Tfs

[@RosaliaShiweva]

I totally understand you . A hug for you . Yes it can get really lonely . Thanks for sharing always . that food looks good 😅 I am in current in isolation total isolation. Because of the lessons thus far , once bitten twice shy they say 😂. But we learn we move and I hope some days I will take of the barrier cap to live more without worrying that I will be a prey again . I love better help ,hope I will be able to use them again soon .. thought their service was very professional and versatile . 💛💛

[@AdventureTwT1]

Your hair so gorgeous 😍

[@AleeseLightyear]

Thank you so much 😀

[@绿水长流-v1u]

Not sure if you are into nature views or no,but if you do,try to explore the west parts of Sichuan,beautiful sceneries and nature and culture,meet people over there and chat with them,see their lifestyle,see if it helps❤

[@leslynmoore]

You are loved!!

[@distrustful.000]

You seems to be slimmer,face also seems sharper compared to past videos❤

[@AleeseLightyear]

Thanks for noticing! I have lost a lot of weight but just never mentioned it in my videos!

[@lindaang7814]

Happy New Year Gurl 🎉

[@AleeseLightyear]

Happy new year!!👍💓

[@Lee12035]

Thanks for what you’ve shared. Watching this made me think about the attitude and nuance of one in their 30s in regarding to adventure and settling down. What’s your current life stage if you’d thought about it and defined one?

[@crdbl123]

Hey, I don't have any answers, just sympathy. I hear a lot of my own thoughts in your words. As someone who spent many years in Beijing, endured covid there, then finally tried a new location in China as someone older and more set in my ways--it's been a tough year. Just like you said, it's like a mix of the discomfort of a new place, lost friendships, lost versions of myself, and that covid trauma I think we're still dealing with. When I first got to Beijing, a good friend said he thought it takes 6 months to even find your footing in a new place, and I kept that in mind all this year. It's a good rule of thumb! Life has definitely improved, but I'm likely heading back to Beijing sometime this year. Give it enough time and the good effort (looks like you really have!), and if ultimately you're not feeling it, move on! Hope the holiday trip will bring some perspective. Best of luck.

[@BowieKenneth]

I admire you, you are amazing woman, I've following your channel. Keep up the good work, it's hard. Keep your mind on God. I want to see china thanks to you.

[@PC.505]

will you back to Unite states during the winter vacation? love your videos.

[@AleeseLightyear]

Thank you!! I won't go home for this winter holiday, but for the summer, I will go!

[@Djikimed]

Hello lovely Aleese Your hair style fit you well, i really love it❤ you have also a very nice personality, like it too. From Ahmed. Nice (France )

[@AleeseLightyear]

Thank you so much, Ahmed! I appreciate your kind words about my hairstyle and personality. It means a lot to me. Sending warm regards to France! ❤️

[@Djikimed]

@@AleeseLightyear its a pleasure to read some words from you🤗 If one day you plan to visit France specially the south of France(Nice, very very nice city with beaches,...) you'll let me know please🙂 Take care lovely Aleese.

[@MatteoLonghi7]

I guess the weather doesn't help😅 It's been smoggy almost every single day, ugh I just don't understand.

[@AleeseLightyear]

I just ordered a therapy lamp that mimics sunlight so hopefully that will help!! You should get one too😅

[@yyysboy1]

i hope ur feeling better or have discovered new ways of working on the feeling of loneliness❤ I feel a bit emotional in regards to what you talked about in this video - Im a china born Chinese, I grew up in China, now in oz for work and life, i went back for family for only 3 or 4 times since 2011. honestly I experienced loneliness in recent trips there, perhaps loss of my dad was the major reason as dad and i were very close just like best friends... I dont have contacts like friends or ppl i used to be in the same class with... i noticed China has changed a lot, I have changed a lot too. its no longer where i would easily adapat to or feel used to, i have reverse cultural shock. and, it is the lack of diversity that made me miss Australia - the ppl there are less interactive and not very conversational (compared to ppl in australia or western world), most of them seem to rush for work work work and money money money... Apart from food, I honestly dont know what the drawcard for me is... as a chinese looking guy, getting fun adventures with other ppl perhaps is even more difficult as an ordinary Chinese person. In many western countries i went to for holiday, i easily came across fun conversations with ppl, whether it be a wink of a lovely guy, a smile with hello from a stranger, a guided walk on offer to me when i got lost, a joke shared by a person from next table in a restaurant, etc... you wouldnt expect these in acountry like China. To me, thats the element missing there. Personality of ppl or bubbliness of ppl in a country matters to me. So, if i go back to China for a stay, it would be just for the reason of seeing my family and food of course. I hope ur feeling better, ur NOT ALONE. sending a big hug x

[@jimmycfchung]

God bless you with happiness n good health

[@teatree6228]

Once visa free travels come to australia to china- i will ho chengdu

[@WealthDecoders]

I hope it gets better.. are there social networking apps available, like bumble? I’ve met lots of cool people there

[@AleeseLightyear]

Not very popular app in China. But I got it!

[@UpgradingJeff]

I am curious to know if you have any information on the price to purchase apartments in Chengdu?

[@juki0h391]

If things don't improve, maybe you should move back to the US to be with your friends and family.

[@AleeseLightyear]

That may seem like an easy fix for some, but that’s deff not the answer for me.

[@Bowen_J]

It is difficult to meet new people and make friends as an expat

[@AleeseLightyear]

Sooooooo hard. I’m over it.

[@travelaroundlife]

❤

[@fatisummer9106]

am i the only one who noticed that Aleese seems she lost a lot of weight

[@munangiwaC]

❤❤❤❤

[@rogerhill933]

You look beautiful 😊

[@AleeseLightyear]

Thank you 😊

[@albback8176]

👍

[@afroabroad]

To be honest with you loneliness is normal. And the fact is there aren't too many other foreigners that are worth talking to. And that great time bs is a lie no one on social media is having a good time.

[@AleeseLightyear]

Yeah I agree, totally normal feelings.

[@AdventureTwT1]

If l was in Chengdu l would have been your friend 😁,l love to travel too and adventure as well and l really like your hair it’s so beautiful 😍… l pray you get friends that reciprocate, l pray you find peace and happiness staying in Chengdu in Jesus Christ name Amen 🙏😁…

[@cee_el]

Is it that hot there? 😮

[@AleeseLightyear]

Parts of this video were filmed in Sept and August. So yes, then it was very hot. but towards the end I say that it's December, not warm anymore

[@jennybian5697]

❤❤❤😂😂😂

[@XLNNN]

Homesick maybe?

[@AleeseLightyear]

I miss Beijing a lot!!

[@henry-pj9zo]

it's alway difficult living abroad, especially in China, there is hugh language barrier, culture difference. China is not open enough yet, most of Chinese have no connection with international. that's the meaning of your job, to teach more people good English, to improve the connection btw China and the whole world.

[@AleeseLightyear]

Thanks for understanding! It has also been really tough trying to build connections with my Chinese co-workers who are all fluent in English. There is just a a strange gap that they aren't really willing to get to know me when I'm clearly trying to get to know them. But it is what it is and I keep trying to better myself

[@ryanzhang701]

Opening up doesn’t mean everyone has to speak English, Chinese have their own culture, language and when you are in other people’s country, you need to adjust yourself in that environment not the other way around.

[@ryanzhang701]

@@AleeseLightyearIt takes time to get to know people and I don’t think it’s a specific thing in China, if I were you, apart from the work it’s better to go around the cities and enjoy the view of Chengdu, since there’re many parks and activities you could enjoy even by yourself, hope you could adjust well soon.

[@AleeseLightyear]

@@ryanzhang701 ok.......I think I'm pretty well-adjusted after 5 years. I'm not expecting the other way around, you are unfairly judging the situation

[@HAITI-1804]

Maybe you need a boyfriend, fly me out to China. I’ll make you happy

[@AleeseLightyear]

Fly yourself out! You know what city I live in 😂

[@AmelieZh]

哈哈哈哈哈哈

[@travish932]

Go get yourself a boyfriend asap❤❤

[@amaelriesterer1421]

She’ll also do fine without a man because she is the moment🤌

[@AleeseLightyear]

as if a man would solve all my problems....🙄🫠 BUT- a man would be nice!

[@name...........n]

Your audio is bad.

[@AleeseLightyear]

🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@bluestar2253]

See I told ya so! China is not what it cracked up to be!

[@AleeseLightyear]

you told me this?

[@johnjk3118]

its time to get drunk😊