THINGS NARCISSISTS SAY TO EXCUSE THEIR BEHAVIOR

[@patricknelson1471]

they do everything possible to be alone and then cry for being alone

[@blondiexday]

6:13- mine said he’d be nicer to me if I was “sweeter and more feminine.” But no matter how sweet and feminine I was he was still mean to me. He said I was difficult, disagreeable, “masculine”(?!), unsubmissive (he was my bf, not my husband), self-absorbed, petty and catty and a burden to him and his children. He called me those things so much I believed him. So I tried to not be any of those things which really took all my agency and self-protection away to stand up for myself, so he could abuse me more.

[@terrymathews8177]

Everything is always someone else's fault - they are master's at making you feel your responsible for their horrible behavior - you need to educate yourself - the more you know the better equipped you are to stand up to them - so thanks for your efforts - everyone who's had a narcissistic person in their life has gone through a lot of hell - it's life changing to have this information

[@LookingBehindtheMirror]

Thank you!

[@MeaolaOrg4]

Several times over five of this misery years (we were on and off) we would be grocery shopping and he would walk super far in front of me…. Leave me on an aisle without letting me know he was going somewhere else, etc. this last round, we were shopping for dinner one night for a dinner he wanted to make for a friend. (Lobster Mac cheese) cooking and eating was one way we “bonded”. Mind you, we never lived together thank GOD! I was absolutely exhausted after working 9 days in a row, drove an hour to his house and he had not gotten what he needed for the dinner. I arrived about 5 pm. He had a list and waited for me to do the shopping”together” I kid you not….2 and a half hours later of driving and walking and frantically trying to find every ingredient. I put my patient hat on! Me calling stores looking for a certain ingredient ( at his request) while we were driving around town, walking into store after store, I thought I was going to collapse. My body was so tired and he knew it. He walked faster than normal, and left me way behind in the stores and parking lots several times. So, I had an AHA moment in one store. We went down an isle trying to find a particularly rare ingredient, and when I turned around after scanning the place one would normally find it…he was nowhere to be found….and he left with my purse and phone in the basket in a high crime area without saying a word to me. I had no idea he had left me there! I felt so panicked and scared and also angry that now I HAD TO WAlK god knows how many isles to find him because I didn’t even have my phone to ask where he was! And no way in the world would he be watching my purse with um, my whole life in it! I finally found him and I calmly asked “the next time you need to leave and not tell me, will you make sure and give me my purse and phone? NARCISSISTIC INJIRY! I paid for that like you can’t even imagine. These people are impossible. They don’t give two shits about us and will leave us for dead!!’ He has proved it many times (Not this incident. That evening was a light bulb moment for me though. He actually tried arguing with me in the store and asked if I expected him to be a “YES” man! I walked out of the store and left him. No, I just expect to be heard and respected! That was said later. But he never heard me or validated a damn thing. EVER The point is…. Pay attention. No one should turn anything around on you like something as simple as this. ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Mllascelles1]

I think I’ve been included in at least 3 shame conferences. Each time I caught her in pathological lies. It was comedy in the moments and it’s still comedy now since I have a new name for it. Shame Conference… it’s that conference or one on one with condescending tone. 😂 I remember saying WTH are you? And thinking “the audacity!”

[@susanparker9877]

YES, they do try to make us carry their pathological, emotional sickness. I refuse this burden...It is not mine to carry. I realized that my ex was trying to make me his crutch. Every day he'd bring his caotic mess home. I was supposed to make it right, like his mother never did. He was the child and I was the parent! Nothing like two ADULTS. Hopeless!! And the gotcha game is very nasty!

[@WandaEnlightened]

Caught him in a lie. Him: I know for 120% that I NEVER lie! Okay..

[@ericalashan1923]

I was wondering why he all of a sudden wanted to talk about the relationship after the final discard..shame conference.. lol...smh. I never gave him the chance to get the last word😊

[@rileyconnieneel5974]

I hope your channel takes off. Very well done.

[@LookingBehindtheMirror]

Thank you!

[@Giselle332]

Love this. You are describing their behaviour so well!

[@LookingBehindtheMirror]

Thank you so much!

[@susanparker9877]

Then there's the line 'that's the past'.

[@Orgnl1]

Thank you so much for your vids . They really help...god bless ya !

[@LookingBehindtheMirror]

You’re welcome. Thank you for watching!

[@nicocallewaert7608]

Hi, first of all, thank you very much for your videos. They are very helpfull. Great insight. I saw on one of your videos you asked to leave a comment for future video ideas. I don't want to bother you, but just wanted to drop this comment : Most videos on youtube are about narcissistic partners. But what do you do when the narcissist is your own adult child? My 20 year old son is a full blown narcissist, no doubt in my mind. He exhibits all the characterstics of it. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but this situation is already years intolarable. It feels like the road to calvary. To make a short summary: it started at the age of 16, minor incidents with law enforcement, but it went from bad to worse, from juvenile detention to jailtime. At the age of almost 21, he's still living at home. I never met a person who is more narcissistic, and it's hard when it's one of your own children. What do you do then...There are not many options. In a romantic relationship, you can walk away from the narcissist. I feel trapped and a hostage. I don't want to sound self pity, but that's the way it is. At times he's verbally abusive when he feels I said something wrong, even a little thing can set him off. He has no job and is not willing to work. He has a roof over his head, the refrigerator is filled up, I do his laundry and ironing, etc..., but nothing is ever good enough, it feels like he's entitled to it, zero appreciation. After ironing, he's even checking his clothes if I did it well. He's giving me the silent treatment 7 days a week, because it seems I failed him for whatever reason, like blaming me he ended up in jail. Well, I didn't beat that man in the street, he did. Whatever happens is my fault. Even when I have to talk to him to say something what is needed, half of the times he's not answering and staring at me with that tiger hostile look. And if he answers, it's never kind but with an agry tone. I know what is his problem and why he's so angry: he's not satisfied with his life and he feels entitled to a better life, but he's unwilling to take responsibilities like finding a job, behaving in life the way he should, etc.... He's expecting that everything will fall from the sky on his lap. He's very dominant and nobody has to tell him what to do. He scolded me many times already, things you shouldn't say to your mom or dad. His ego and arrogance are mind blowing. I asked him already many times: you will go through life like this?? Of course there is nothing wrong with him, it's everyone else's fault. He has no empathy or sense of guilt. I'm just sick and tired of this situation, but what do you do, setting boundaries don't help. People tell me: don't prepare food anymore, stop doing doing his laundry. It's not that easy, I don't want a war zone here. And I'm scared there will be violent outbursts again. Of course he's unwilling to leave because he has no income and is unwilling to work. And legally it's not that easy to get somebody out of your house. In a romantic relationship, you can pack your stuff and run. Not so in this situation. I feel stuck. Sorry for this long story. I just wanted to share it. Thanks and best regards. And thanks again, you are doing great work with your videos!

[@LookingBehindtheMirror]

Thank you for watching. I’m so sorry you are dealing with that. I honestly don’t feel equipped to give advice on this difficult situation, other than I hope you have people you can talk to or lean on. If you can, I would suggest you find a therapist for yourself or possibly find group therapy for parents in similar situations. I truly hope you can find a way to escape this situation safely.

[@nicocallewaert7608]

@@LookingBehindtheMirror Hi! Thanks a lot for your reply! Finding a therapist sounds like a good idea to start with. Thanks!

[@kaystephens2672]

I was called fat too. Id just had his child. I got diwn to 120. My normal weight was 150

[@NarrelleChain]

You are absolutely beautiful, hair eyes are gorgeous!

[@mezlandia]

I was told I needed to gain weight. And that if I was not attractive, he wouldn’t like me.

[@chxwv]

It’s not country , it’s family dynamics . It’s ridiculous to say that all families in a certain country will treat their mom that way