Things that Happen When You Move In Together

[@Tara........]

My GF and I made the decision to both keep our own residences. We've both been through live-in situations before that didn't work and the separation was so much longer and fraught with grief while one party seeks alternate accommodation. Also, I'm much more of an introvert than my GF and I really need my alone time. The time we spend together is always that little bit more special because we know we have a set amount of time together. It may not work for everyone but, it works really well for us.

[@kathrynhall7021]

Don't clean up after your partner. I know how hard that is. Just don't. All you will do is build resentment. Stay strong and let them figure it out.

[@LittleLulubee]

But if their mess lays around, that also builds resentment

[@dorisrodriguez5947]

I do most of the deep/daily cleaning around my house, but I think what helps not build resentment is communicating specific tasks my partner can do. For example, I hate taking out the trash so I ask her to do it, or other things like washing towels, toilets etc.

[@mihlali8416]

Lol 😂😂😂

[@cheezpuffg0rawr]

My partner and I have our own rooms outside of our shared bedroom. It's a really fortunate situation to be able to afford it and I am SO THANKFUL that I have my own space for meditation, school work, reading, etc. We respect each other's rooms, so if I want alone time I can go into my room, close the door and know I won't be disturbed. Plus it stays however clean or messy I feel comfortable with. Something to consider if moving in together.

[@jaynedavies2757]

No one is perfect basically. Find you own way together. I would love to live with a loving lover.

[@ren_b7]

First to comment ✌️🏼 The scariest thing about moving in together is literally not able to hide your bad side. It really freaks me out and you need to deal with their annoying habits.

[@kelsey7000]

It's so important to check in with yourself and your partner periodically to see if living together is still working for you both because it can be so easy to just keep doing it out of habit/fear, regardless of whether or not you're happy. I moved out of my partner's place after living together for 6 months because I just wasn't happy. I realized I need a few days out of the week to myself to recharge and give myself a chance to miss my partner. I can't say it's been an easy transition, as my partner was really hurt by my decision, but I couldn't just keep doing it when I knew deep down I wasn't my best self in that environment. We still see each other most days and we're slowly getting used to this new arrangement so hopefully it keeps going well :)

[@alessandrawhittingham6866]

This is helpful! Lockdown was rough because obviously they were there ALL the time and I realised like you I need a day or so to recharge by myself and I felt guilty hiding in the bedroom. I had to go back to my family recently because my mental health was all over the place but now in the UK some companies are opening the idea of going back to work, so my partner will be in an actual office full time atm, so I'm hoping that will help with the space issue!

[@kelsey7000]

@@alessandrawhittingham6866 Glad someone can relate! Never feel guilty for giving yourself the space you need!

[@josepha133]

After watching this I don’t think I’ll ever want to move in with anyone 😂

[@AlexisLilian]

Hahaha nooo! We just didn’t show the good parts 😉

[@chocovore07]

Alexis and Lilian in that case a video about the good side of it would be great!

[@Raay.90]

@@AlexisLilian maybe do a second video talking about the good side/benefits of living together

[@grecyzeal5049]

😂😂😂😂

[@IMLIFEWITHALEAH]

LOL

[@kseniageraskina5312]

Me and my girlfriend had something like a demo version of living together, we were spending a couple of weeks at a summer house (actually it’s because we don’t have an opportunity to move in together now, cause we live in Russia and there obviously will be troubles with our families but well, that’s the sad part of the story😬😅) but it helped us to understand the difficulties and to talk about our habits and all the other staff.

[@kittensgregorio3171]

This is all so true, I sorta consider it as a training ground for when you get married because there’s no place to hide (literally and figuratively) once you’re sharing the same space. Been living with my gf for years and adjusted to each other’s quirks, its all about balancing acceptance, and giving way to each other.

[@chastidye2598]

How’s that going so far?

[@shay259]

Thank you for bringing up such important and unpopular topics! Tbh, I've always been afraid of moving in with someone for the reasons that you've mentioned. I value my own space and freedom too much. I've never been in a relationship, so may be when the right person comes I will be eager to find compromises and the thought of sharing a flat with someone won't be that scary. But for now it is as it is.

[@khensk]

Loving Lillian’s outfit

[@stinastouch3119]

both of them so beautiful

[@tikioluu2321]

I met my boyfriend online, flew in to get to know me and stayed 3 days and returned after a month to stay. 4 months so far and we haven't killed each other yet 😂

[@katrina9799]

I live with my boyfriend 3 days/4 nights per week. This is definitely a good way to get to know each other before we live together full-time.

[@elenav1709]

This was great! I love your content. It’s been super helpful to me! I had a lot of internalized homophobia and started watching more lesbian content over quarantine to try and heal. Now I’m dating my best friend-who is a woman! Would love to hear more about finances and how you two negotiate that kind of stuff. Keep creating! Much love from Ohio, USA.

[@chastidye2598]

Hey! I ended up doing the same thing. Dating my best friend(both women) who plan to move in together. How’s your experience been so far?

[@melissafisher9030]

Hi Loved this topic. With the Pandemic going on my GF and I didn't see each other for 3 months due to a Hard Lockdown in South Africa. Relying on video chats and calls everyday, i know you both are used to the long distance scenario. I was In Durban and she was in the North West approximately 9hrs away and we werent allowed to transverse provinces. When we finally started moving up more levels we made the decision in our very young relationship to see if we could work, so I moved in. To say it's been smooth sailing would be a lie, BUT we have found our strengths in living together and we have our own pet peeves etc. Luckily we do get a reprieve every few weeeks as i have to travel into Joburg for a few days and sometimes for a week or two. It's definitely learning a New love language. She's very shy and i'm very extroverted and she's very logical and i'm a scatter brain creative . She's a early bird and i'm the night owl. She hates cooking and I cook. We're learning to balance all these things. At the end of the day i value how we are growing.

[@AlexisLilian]

Wow, I can imagine how hard the separation must have been and that’s great that you were able to find a balance and make it work. That’s definitely what it’s all about, recognizing your differences and making the best of, and very true that will make your relationship so much stronger. Love this, thanks for sharing! - L

[@aimitravel2122]

For me the separation between going out with friends are much harder because my GF & I have the same circle of friends. We went to the same university (same course) and at one time we even work in the same office. Basically her friends are my friends, mine are hers.

[@Никодя]

Thank you for this advices, I'm moving in together with my girlfriend and I'm a little bit anxious, so it is very helpful that you gave me some direction

[@lizaroberts9167]

You two are the cutest and most endearing couple ever!!

[@jamesfv1]

This is why I think it’s great to do what my girlfriend and I want to do which is separate bedrooms which was my idea. Everyone should have a safe space of their own. Our kids would get their own room, so why not us?

[@silviahopkinson2487]

The head leaning on the shoulder when my girlfriend is trying to do her own thing is too accurate! Sometimes I just want attention!

[@scubagoldfish45]

Still looks pretty fun! I notice you didn't mention blanket forts and snacks... 🤔

[@maykieaviv1840]

thanks for that video! I feel this topic is so important and needed to be discussed ...and Lillian's shaved haircut suits her very much :)

[@AlexisLilian]

Thank you! 😊

[@greeneyedswimmer17]

Haha I can relate to so many of these. I hate that my partner leaves coffee mugs around too ☕ 😂

[@courtneygalloway7578]

i have ptsd from the last time i lived with a partner. im always the cleaner and the cooker and the laundry-er. in my dreams my future wife and i live in separate houses connected by a bridge. like frida kahlo and diego rivera.

[@LittleLulubee]

Are you using the term ptsd as a joke?

[@courtneygalloway7578]

@@LittleLulubee nope

[@newbestofthis4422]

it is hard to live with irresposnible person

[@tinam269]

Same!!

[@user-gw5uz4ed4s]

Or Hermann Hesse in Montagnola

[@enkhtuultsesendorj5617]

My partner and I, we used to live in 2019. I wish want to watch this video earlier. So many unsexy and unromantic things happened. but it helped to us understand each other well. Thank you guys sharing it

[@amandaconnell653]

Isn't it a famous lesbian joke...." what do lesbians do on their 2nd date? Ans: Move in!! Or more crudely ....kiss, fuck, move in! Ha! Disgusting personal habits & unequal chore shares are deal breakers that's a guarantee. As a mature lady with plenty of worldly experience i would suggest that before you move in together spend plenty of weekends together at their place or yours, no going out, no partying & just be with each other. You'll soon see how well you get on! One last point...for mature gay women who are financially & domestically settled, living together isn't the be all & end all of a relationship. Stay safe everyone 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 💖 💖 💖👍👍👍

[@terriejohnson1131]

At 61, I am perfectly content to live alone, even prefer it.

[@LittleLulubee]

What do lesbians bring on a 2nd date? A U-Haul 😆

[@saagamyllari2600]

Great vid😊 I highly recommend couples to do some research about dofferent ways to live together. There are a few different ways to live together for example me and my boyfriend live in separate homes and it works for us. We are planning to move in together soon, we would have separate bedrooms in our new place. Most of these issues pointed out on this video, like personal space can be resolved forexample by having separate bedrooms

[@BullEspresso]

It's here that you see the deeper side of Alexis and why their relationship works.

[@natewrites7803]

I loved this and the little acted out segments made me laugh out loud!

[@Pakidesivlog]

Your little parodies in between are so fun🤣

[@motv-independentthinkingfo3817]

You girls are so freaking hilarious and honest, I can tell you guys had so much fun making this and you just really love each other, what you have is beautiful. I pray I get the same experience with my future girlfriend someday. My ex and I lived together and I did everything for 9 months all the cleaning, all the bills and shopping, as well as all the decor and responsibility, she made it very clear that never really cared about me and it ended badly...I've been single ever since but I love myself more than ever and I have grown a lot into my best self at this point. I should certainly attract the right woman soon💯❤

[@shay259]

It so sad that your ex behaved that way! You certainly deserve better and I have no doubt that sooner or later you'll meet the right person who'll care about you. It is great that you love yourself, I think that's one of the most important things in life. Nobody will love us, if we don't love and respect ourselves. And sometimes self-love can be really difficult. So I am glad that you love yourself 💜 A couple of days ago my mother told me that she had cried a lot, because she was worried that as I am bisexual it may be really difficult for me to find a girlfriend one day, as most queer girl hide somewhere (that's how she thinks), so I will stay single and unhappy because of who I am. I was shocked to hear that, but I told her not to worry, as I promised that I will be happy no matter what. My happiness doesn't depend on my partner, it depends on me. And as I love myself and want to be happy - I will be. And if it happens that I will have a loving partner, then my life will be even more awesome :)

[@motv-independentthinkingfo3817]

@@shay259 Absolutely and that is so true, self love is everything. Indeed after everything ended badly I really got into myself deeply and I am the greatest lover and best friend of my life for all of my life and so are you to yourself and everyone to themselves, it is too sad people live and love themselves through their partners or friends or other people in life when really they are just to be a bonus to help you enjoy the experience of life. I started my own KZbin channel and I talk all about self love and self care and self respect, feel free to check me out MO TV-INDEPENDENT THINKING FOR THE FREE MIND™️, I Would Love To Have You As A Subscriber and or A Frequent Visitor On My Channel. Not enough people know how much love they have stored in themselves and how much power they have over their lives so as a former lost soul who lost myself in my ex I feel it is my great responsibility to enlighten and show love to people all over the world especially women who just need a real life coach on their side and I'm here for everyone. Thank you for your reply, you definitely deserve all of the love and happiness that life has to offer too. God Bless You My Distant Sister and Thank You Again, Be Blessed💯❤🙏🏽

[@khensk]

Thank you for the free 2 month trial🥺❤️

[@fehaxo8452]

I'm moving in with my girlfriend in three days, thank you!!

[@mery5989]

it's so cute that when you were a kid you felt the need to put mugs away XD

[@barnstar2077]

A lady I was dating wanted to move in with me earlier this year, but her son had a boa constrictor. There was absolutely no way I was going to have something like that in the house!!

[@AlexisLilian]

😂 definitely a unique kind of challenge- it’s me or the snake! ;)

[@barnstar2077]

@@AlexisLilian - She is still a friend, and although we went our separate ways for other reasons, I know it would have caused me too much anxiety having the snake in the house. Love your videos btw, you two always put a smile on my face : )

[@strikkekose]

Love this video! Lilian, where did you get that necklace, it's beautiful!!

[@AlexisLilian]

Thanks, it’s from Saskia Diez www.saskia-diez.com/

[@Pakidesivlog]

Useful and thought provoking. Thanks guys!

[@terriejohnson1131]

I think there's a lot of really good advice here. Certainly, it jibes with my personal experience of living at close quarters with others.

[@CharliesWill]

Imagine all these issues only...with a disabled g/f and watch your potential “mate” run as fast and as far away as possible, has been my experience!?!?!

[@sharonfinney7709]

Hi A&L, hope you are both well, Me and my partner moved in together nearly 18 months ago and we love living together, we have not yet had a disagreement as we work as a team and that is key in my opinion, my partner works but I don’t, so I stay home, I do the chores, I love to cook, so together we have that happy medium. Obviously when I do start to work then the chores etc would be split down the middle, which both me and my partner agree on. Love you girls. Xx

[@AlexisLilian]

Aw that’s great to hear that it’s working out so well and that you found such a good balance! Thanks for sharing:)

[@mintmindy]

LOVE YALL :))) This was hilarious but informative

[@kaileyparts1289]

Your videos always make me smile 🥰

[@113nightbird]

Great video! Thanks! :)

[@hestermarseille4989]

Favorite video, because It didn't feel as slow? If that makes sense and also I really wanted to know what your problems were and how you resolve them. Like you spilled the real tea lol

[@sulemmarquecho]

I really enjoy watching your videos although my English is not very good hahaha Last year I moved to another city to go to college with my best friend (now a former best friend). We had a lot of problems with our different habits and all that. I wish I had been more tolerant of him. I lost a friend but I learned to be more patient and tolerant :)

[@AlexisLilian]

Ah true, I always tried to stay away from moving in with good friends because it would suck to lose the friendship like this, especially as someone who needs a lot of alone time. But yes always a lesson to learn :) thanks for your comment!

[@_DivineTruth_is_Home_]

Thank you, simplied to wash away the fears lol. When all is organized...play time 👍😄

[@RicardoRodriguez-wh1qd]

Many of the things you spoke about are very seriouws but as usual you made it funny and I enjoyed it. Thank you.

[@RaeLarz]

Omg you guys made me glad I didn't uhaul with my gf during quarantine

[@AlexisLilian]

😂 yup that can be dangerous!

[@fery655fery2]

So much I learned 🙏

[@josedavila]

UR so good together I love you both. Are you the perfect combination. I remember when you went together you show so little even was lack of videos you were adjusting. So hard to see. The little you show. And now you are sooo adjusted and mature its so good. And encouraging people to live with a different human😜😁😂😂 big hugs Ich liebe dich zwei. 😍💜💋😀😀😘😘 Danke schön

[@michaelmaclean7885]

Many greetings! I'm Michael. I'm a bisexual guy from the U.K living in the Philippines and have had the very considerable pleasure of viewing some of your videos for the first time. There's a lot I really like about them. Some of them are very stylishly filmed. In the morning wake-up bedroom scenes, for example, there's a distinctive sensual quality that gives one the impression one is watching a well-crafted movie. This alone sets you greatly apart from other people making videos in the same genre. When watching you highlight some of the challenges that couples inevitably face when living together an idea suddenly occured to me that I thought I would share with you. I've never come across it before so it's definitely unique to me. When a couple shares a home often unforseen conflict-creating issues arise as time goes by . Ideally they are addressed very quickly long before they escalate into something major. But in so many cases these issues are not voiced in their infancy and are held tightly and secretely inside because the frustrated or even offended person doesn't know how to approach their partner with the problem. This can easily go on for months with both women having a list of grievances.

[@Premchik]

Very good video!

[@hfortenberry]

Well done! And you two are so cute and funny. Mixing your metaphors LOL (I do that too and my ex always used to laugh at it)

[@IMLIFEWITHALEAH]

Pretty much explains it all

[@lovelybrokenpony]

Alexis shirt is amazing !!

[@loupelizzo2399]

Love this so much and so true thank you and give and take is something in a relationship is a must

[@namitarastogi244]

You guys look amazing together 💛💙Love from India

[@NickVenceil777]

Mike's Cool! why not lover lumatics? lolololololol

[@betsyjordan888]

My husband and I use the same heavy duty Febreze!! The best and a joy for our bathroom relationship

[@AlexisLilian]

What are some of your partner's (or exes) pet peeves and what do you love the most? The first 1000 people who click the link will get 2 free months of Skillshare Premium: skl.sh/alexisandlilian08201

[@juanaines5637]

I know this has nothing to do with the video but can Alexis drop her haircare rutine?? Your curls look amazing!!

[@AlexisLilian]

She already did! Take a dig through our old videos ;)

[@EricB256]

When you said Skillshare, it reminded me of the fact that Jay Foreman makes just the funniest Skillshare ads. Thank you very much for this educational video.

[@gladiztorres-romero1643]

Nailed it!

[@williamoconnell1233]

That's why I want to try it when my parents are going away for a certain number of days.

[@ladypedina169]

I was able to predict by the second publication which of you was introvert and which extravert

[@klarissaclairiton9010]

This is a great video. Very well filmed and edited. Love the musical interludes. An absolutely beautiful couple.

[@AlexisLilian]

Aw thank you for the kind words! 💕

[@alanaban3519]

Beautifull miss match like two left

[@LittleLulubee]

I love those ringlets 💗

[@briannafraser9142]

Its so funny, nothing suprise me ...because I never lived alone. I always shared flats with diffrent people.

[@newbestofthis4422]

I realized that I prefer to stay single

[@qaidasynnn]

Are you muslim?

[@Whimswirl]

You can have a partner and live separately

[@stefanie_xx]

The acting at 6:54 👏🏻 *shivers*

[@julzamidala2865]

Was it acting.... or just a replay? ;)

[@yungshaaaa777]

Scratching the tip of the surface. 😂

[@muumuugirl]

i love lilian's shirt

[@tamzen8630]

Oh boy i had such a hard time accepting that my gf prefers to go dutch all the time and it was even harder when i became unemployed.

[@erikatingey7040]

I love lilians tattoo!!

[@nadyaivanova2716]

Everything is correct, but this things cannot compare the situations when you have a baby. That’s x100 more difficult.. We have much more responsibilities and duties. I always thought that we get along so well, but now we don’t have time for US at all. We split the time by hours, while another person go to separate room to relax. So it’s ether we are with baby or one of us. When you both tired you have more fights about cleaning and all this staff. We also fight about who more tired.

[@dollface3005]

My gf and I have been dating for 5 months spend a lot of time together buy I still don't use the toilet around her 😂😂🤣 I would rather put it off the whole weekend till I get back to my place

[@aymenbenhamida950]

Goodluck if you broke up girls. You really have bound each other.

[@aikokaroline1452]

Lilian where is the neckless from?

[@AlexisLilian]

It’s from Saskia Diez www.saskia-diez.com/

[@hamitupagain]

I love you two, just found you and I'm binge watching all your videos! Question: Do you know your Enneagram numbers? It's a fantastic typology system that I'm really into right now. The best test is at Enneagraminstitute.com. Please please share your numbers. I'm dying to know!

[@wraithsrequiem9711]

I'm always worried about the expenses.

[@eh-n9237]

I feel like an Alexis & my gf is a little like a Lilian. This was helpful. I want to move in with her but I think we will wait. We are still deepening our relationship as partners. I’m really worried about how to divide up the chores/cleaning. I don’t like cleaning. Can you be more specific about who does what in your household. Do you both practice the Komari method?

[@lmyers26]

2:23 start...

[@pinaluna7745]

Where are your beautiful necklaces from?

[@soothingmelodies1861]

Guys...love u ..right from india...i got my soulmate...right from USA

[@MA-ej7bp]

Where are you working at? I never heard anything about going to work..

[@AlexisLilian]

working from home these days!

[@michaelproctor1592]

This is why I'm single ! One of the MANY reasons .......... LMAO

[@julzamidala2865]

+1 on 'the tip of the surface'! :)

[@ACETHEEGR8]

Wheh! No lies told 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@andreahobson6987]

Love you guys! I've noticed alexis isn't as kissey and touching as she used to be with you lillian? Maybe the excite ment is gas settled down? Anyways you guys are beaitiful as usual and keep giving us those great videos ...

[@AlexisLilian]

It’s because I keep putting things in random spots! 😂

[@andreahobson6987]

Has settled ? Lol

[@andreahobson6987]

@@AlexisLilian haha!! I loved watching her always kiss you and love up on you it made my day brighter .. such love you know? ❤

[@andreahobson6987]

@@AlexisLilian hahaha!!!

[@balolay]

Lilian has a tattoo?! What’s the meaning behind it?

[@AlexisLilian]

No meaning, just a pretty little branch :) got it done a year ago in bali

[@universeoftrees3913]

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[@Pakidesivlog]

Do you girls get jealous of each other? Does jealousy exist in gay relationship like in straight?

[@emhathaway7388]

Absolutely. They can just like a heterosexual couple could

[@galway8563]

ALEXIS IS FEMALE SHAWN MENDES !!!😎

[@smahanmalainine8990]

😍❤️

[@Moonlightblue44]

Living my on live..I dont need enyone

[@sabinestro468]

Wait...how do you know?😉🤣

[@michaelmaclean7885]

Part 2: The continuation of the previous message. The message was accidentally sent before I finished it. So please read my previous message first. Continuation: When everything finally comes out in the open it's often during a colossal argument in which all the festering issues explode angrily one after the other usually caising a great deal of hurt in the process. My idea? My solution? When a couple starts living together they should agree that once a month, always 30 days apart, they should have a Problem Resolution Discussion. It would be the couple's monthly opportunity to freely express anything that is causing them to feel unhappy about their partner's conduct. It wouldn't matter how trivial the issue: this would be the agreed time to lay it bare. Sometimes there there will be no problem to discuss because all is well; at other times there might be a great deal to cope with and resolve. Since both women know in advance that this regular harmony-maintaining session will take place each month, they will feel so much more comfortable when facing a difficult domestic issue that they normally wouldn't know how to deal with openly. They will always know that on that certain day of the month any gnawing and unspoken issue will be freely voiced and resolved. All they need to do is wait.

[@Wutheringreads]

Oh my. The moment it cut to Alexis and her incense. 😅

[@giulianabelotti934]

Ciao😘

[@emmanuelswinney6108]

STEPHOANON JOYCE WAIESKISKISKISKI KEALLYS KRIS Kien Bettden Muncy Robert Lint, Dawn JIMMMY

[@suejanismat6147]

Emmanuel Swinney why do you keep writing these names¿