Things That PISS ME OFF.

[@jschlattLIVE]

Your browser is holding you back. Level up with Opera GX: operagx.gg/jschlattLIVE7

[@thisaccountisnotinuse]

helo

[@mr.mr.8261]

Change your locks!

[@Kinoboat]

Ok

[@snomcultist189]

No

[@simplyAppl3]

guess which browser I'm watching this from rn (level impossible)

[@bloodborneonpc7]

Two uploads in one month is how you know he’s paying New York rent

[@jzh4805]

How the fuck do you upload not in a row????

[@KingTangent-j1d]

Nice tits!

[@bloodborneonpc7]

@@jzh4805 there wasn’t any other catchy phrasing Edit: I fixed it

[@deleted-something]

True

[@toast_clicks]

Two uploads in one day

[@Karl_Marksman]

Glad your grandma got that thing removed, it was starting to bother us both

[@nexongn]

Sleeper comment

[@EcyGuy]

‘Both’ scares me

[@SeprexOG]

yupppp

[@WobbleDuck3445]

your an OG for doing this

[@asgth6147]

Holy shit Pesta profile picture?

[@nichollsaurus]

3:33 no schlatt, i have not seen a woolly mammoth. they died over 4,000 years ago.

[@wildest777]

You just haven't found one yet, keep looking , they're there

[@GikamesShadow]

Thats what the government wants you to believe

[@emmettl2780]

@@wildest777 did you not hear schlatt crying about the fact that they're not?

[@NikolasNikolaou-lh1bw]

@@emmettl2780 are youu dense

[@destroyerofnuts7159]

I thought it was like 6,000?

[@johnmarshalllusk6841]

Imagine being a European who is allergic to peanuts, thinks they’re in a lumber shortage, has just bought one of those exaggerated toilet paper packs, is watching this video on a full screen flip phone, is walking behind a woman late at night, loves elephants, doesn’t know who Squilliam Fancyson is, and who is doing this all while filming a vlog while walking away from another flip phone recording.

[@grantcastleman7116]

sounds like the average French man

[@Memu_]

Almost all of these are things he has talked about months ago on the Sleep Deprived podcast. That really proves that they bother him enough that he's still thinking about them.

[@SpaceHeggo]

He is a very angry person.

[@drnkt69]

Most of these things he already ranted about on other ocasions for years, eg on chuckle sandwich

[@vitasomething]

aztro in his left ear whispering about celsius. pandah in the other doing a squilliam impression. mika, one his lap, paperstrawing like a mammoth. friendship truely is hardship in the life of an alpha.

[@not_dashstar]

Nice rack!

[@mac_sour]

also that he's broke lmao, rehashing things that he's already talked about and slapping a sponsor right in the middle of it to make a quick buck

[@Wifft36]

Grinder notification at 5:18. Whoever he matched with is a lucky man.

[@thinkingsnake1189]

I fear for him

[@randompeo4521]

There’s no matching on Grindr. Someone in like 5-10 mile radius just saw his profile

[@AJThePyro1]

@@randompeo4521you seem very experienced with grindr

[@RC-fp1tl]

@@randompeo4521bro knows from experience 💀

[@malfoyenjoyer]

​@@RC-fp1tl bros surprised about gay people existing

[@GoatedEazyE]

5:18 interesting notification sound you have there, schlrindr.

[@_lezzogs_]

And how would you know that @brokeba- ah ok i know now!

[@SurrKas]

what app is it

[@crippledsound7585]

@@SurrKasGrindr

[@Minos_Prime_King_Of_Men]

@@crippledsound7585hmmm

[@GoatedEazyE]

@@SurrKas grindr its a gay dating/hookup app

[@huthealex]

5:04 an address in NY + CEO info, I think we all know what we need to do, thank you schlooter!

[@JustaTwurtle]

Oh yeah, Luigi-time

[@doctor_fill]

I'm out of paper I'll write on the casings instead

[@raccoonpuppy]

5:19 the grindr notification going off as you say "I'm tired of pretending" is insane

[@N30Z1MMY]

GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT NOTICED

[@NikitaInShambles]

why do you know that it's the grindr notification

[@tenderandmoist5011]

​@@NikitaInShamblespeople are gay Niki, i.e J "Ared" Schlatt

[@jonathongeiger8119]

​@@NikitaInShambles how do you know?

[@NikitaInShambles]

@@jonathongeiger8119 ...

[@stevenzamora273]

All of Squilliam Fancyson appearances 1. Season 2 Ep 35B “Band Geeks” 2. Season 3 Ep 48B “Squilliam Returns” 3. Season 6 Ep 101A “House Fancy” 4. Season 6 Ep 117B “Professor Squidward” 5. Season 7 Ep 127B “ I ❤️ Dancing” 6. Season 7 Ep 131A “Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful” 7. Season 7 Ep 135A “Back To The Past” 8. Season 10 Ep 206B “Code Yellow” 9. Season 11 Ep 217B “The Check-Up”

[@TireRire]

You forgot “1999”

[@cohey8910]

still not enough

[@crafty4722]

Nice Rack!

[@ARandomEliatrope]

Nice Rack!

[@Calmtimer]

Nice Rack!

[@otisjoi]

He's finally opening up about that fateful night in April 1999

[@sheep7]

"Gay Shat" will never be forgiven for his actions on 26th of April '99

[@sumdude-named-lemon]

Maybe schlatt was the bay harbor butcher all allong

[@otisjoi]

​@@sumdude-named-lemon idk maybe he's just the blood spatter guy

[@Crj0m]

Yeah that when i was born

[@Abs023]

Oh ni

[@deadturret4049]

That opening hits hard lmao. I sometimes pretend to stop and check my phone so that the person in front of me gets more distance.

[@Cyranek]

> "I need to get something off my chest." > I open the video > There's nothing on his chest

[@snot65]

i couldn't agree more

[@airbornesquirrel]

Nice rack!

[@MrTib11]

Most under rated comment here

[@beybrain7896]

HE LIED TO US! >8[

[@hbmips7023]

>“Things that PISS me off” >open video >no piss

[@browh4ttf]

"Europeans are irrelevant to me", says Schlatt, completely forgetting that he, in fact, bombed Serbia in '99

[@iwantmykidssusan4941]

It was the buckingham palace, read a book for once. It was his first attempt on the royal family, and 6 people died in the bombing. He then went out for a drive where he collided with a car “accidentally”, killing 3 more, including princess diana. Then in 2022 he finally accomplished his goal he set back in 99, poisoning the queen, taking her life. And if you look closely, the king was poisoned accidentally, but he lived.

[@Sm1thyBTW2]

it was a very ‘99 christmas 😂

[@browh4ttf]

@Sm1thyBTW2 fireworks and all

[@ozzy2776]

Schatt: “You ever seen a Wooly Mammoth?” Every single living person: No.

[@itsozzyguy2882]

Yo, another Ozzy? What’s going on bro

[@TheBirbBirb]

This comment needs more likes lmao

[@camhollestelle5104]

Schlatt’s an ancient creature. He’s been here for many centuries.

[@hoomanhiho]

@@itsozzyguy2882 the ozzys are everywhere. you can't escape the ozzys. they're following you, watching your every move. edit: omg omg im so sorry i just realized your username is ozzy. i thought you were saying that you have seen multiple ozzys recently.

[@confidentstreetlamp1762]

Mammoths frozen in ice can be preserved remarkably well, some researchers even made a stew out of one.

[@the_uncle78]

Elephants are smart enough to hear the 3rd one and understand it enough to be pissed about it

[@PsychoKupo]

4:06 Schlatt, did you not see Squilliam clutch his heart when he fainted? He had a heart attack and died on the way to the Bikini Bottom Hospital.

[@mintboy460]

heaven claimed another angel🦅🦅🦅

[@JonahTheBitter55]

@@Itxquirkdie

[@Luzzzzzo]

@@Itxquirkdie

[@ausballanimations]

@@Itxquirk so overused

[@GH0STCCC-vu5rz]

@@Itxquirk lol nope

[@Evjaaa]

'fahrenheit is better' is such a schlaggot thing to say i miss him

[@JUSTREGULARSCREAMINGAAHH]

schlarenheit

[@mydor123451]

@@JUSTREGULARSCREAMINGAAHH Schelcious

[@sofaking.]

schlevin

[@bryanfongo327]

Even the example JPEGs he uses at 6:20 show exactly why celsius is clearer lol

[@Becats101]

that sounds like a slur

[@Kerbs28]

The funds are low

[@emiliantataru2952]

Whenever it's a main channel video it's just slop to get a sponsor off

[@not_dashstar]

Nice rack!

[@zubatski]

Jesus ​@@Itxquirk

[@thatoneguy1767]

@@Itxquirknobody loves you and no one ever will.

[@ExplodingSteve]

the rent is due

[@TRIVIA5209]

These timestamps are genuinely the least helpful chapters I’ve ever seen on a KZbin video

[@zeenxdownz]

Truly a 1, 3, 6, 4 moment

[@UniqueExecuted]

jschlattLIVE looks inside prerecorded

[@Chimpin_]

is this some kind of temu haiku

[@weirdredstone42]

@@Chimpin_ original: >buy wireless device >look inside >wires

[@Chimpin_]

@@weirdredstone42 ohhhh ty i get it now

[@leovillant768]

Ye

[@Void_950]

the one with the cat ​@@weirdredstone42

[@Altienne]

It’s okay scat, we’re here for you

[@joaquinaizenberg]

😭😭😭

[@terrariapro147]

Jscat

[@disksector]

yeah sat

[@yournan2511]

scatman john

[@CalvinLol777]

Jshat

[@ragcat3732]

9:20 I SERIOUSLY agree with this one so much. I can’t help but laugh, especially when it’s done with a car. People really set up their phones to record themselves driving away, and then they have to drive back, walk back to their phones, and then get back into their car.

[@ActualTrashcan]

Ryan Trahan is the only one I can get behind doing it, idk why maybe it’s just cause I like him but he also does sometimes show him going to grab the camera after which makes me laugh

[@TheAutism_Man]

Schlatt called out Ryan Trahan with this one.

[@lemonsarekool9422]

this but when they set up a camera filming them “waking up”

[@hans7709]

I mean its a great shot in a Video about the car, you hear the car drive by, see it from lots of everyday angles, it just works. But in a vlog where they`re just going somewhere is extremely goofy

[@에이에이-aa]

fr

[@gusbauer773]

i could listen to schlatt talk about random topics with his own opinion for so long lmao. Ts is so enjoyable bc its so relatable.

[@morbid9142]

I just wanna point out the blatant hypocrisy that schlatt hates people with peanut allergies yet he would fizzle into dust if hes splashed with holy water

[@yeethittter1285]

Fr if peanuts are so harmless I'd like to see him eat a clove of garlic 🙄🙄🙄

[@ella.com.]

Exactly, as someone with a peanut allergy if I ate one I would start dying 😞

[@Edge_Boye]

@@yeethittter1285I do that all the time when I’m sick I like it

[@zingaboid]

@@Edge_Boye i think they are implying hes a vampire, mr edge boye

[@Garffunguy]

Schlagg: "Europeans are stupid for using celsius" The rest of the world Except USA: "I didnt know i was european"

[@radpot7364]

Fr lol, American minds cannot comprehend the mighty and power of celsius

[@sofianesk3050]

"Schelsius" when he realizes even Americans use Celsius but no one outside the US uses faranheit

[@grdhggsdg]

I literally said out loud "Guess Im European now" when he got to that part lol

[@TheUltimateNix]

I can't help it... Why Celsius is better 1. It's easier to remember: 0 is water freezing point and 100 is water boiling point. Fahrenheit is 32 freezing, 212 boiling?! Both systems have weird temps for average 2. It's based on water temperatures at sea level pressure. Water is the most common liquid on earth, making it a good benchmark 3. Used by every country except by the majority of a single country that calls the rest of the world "Europeans" 4. Fnck the word "Fahrenheit", that random h pisses me off and is the reason someone in these very replies spelled it wrong. 5. Scale is parallel to Kelvin 6. It's in the metric system which was invented first and so much more consistent. 7. It's not in the imperial system which was invented by the colonisers themselves: Britain. Even they were smart enough to change mainly to metric, (at least a lot of google sources say that but maybe not according to a reply? I'm not bothered to double check sorry. Disclaimer: I used basic knowledge and easy enough google searchs to just get my point across)... I need to stop

[@eduardowalsh9418]

Argentina: i knew it! The bastards tried to convince me otherwise, but i always knew... i always knew better.

[@MaximusMarc]

Seeing schlat so unjustifiably angry at things is one of the funniest things I’ve ever watched I’m literally dying right now and I don’t find manny things that funny

[@Malphas38th]

I also don’t think Manny is very funny

[@Pissnburg]

@@Malphas38ththe guy from Ice Age?

[@raiden7194]

i think the anger is very justified tyvm

[@kraio-sfu]

Manny, like the wooly mammoth

[@reannaissance]

@@kraio-sfu i was literally about to comment these exact 5 words. not a single unique experience

[@RandomGuy08-f1j]

WORST thing about paper straws is that the lid of the cups are still plastic, so really, the lawmakers aren’t doing anything to make a difference.

[@mo_ure]

Calling Europe a museum is both so true and completely insane at the same time

[@wscamel226]

true

[@HaifaaAmni]

Europe is a musem and America is a TV Show. Pay to go to Europe or pay to watch America. Just people entertaining for money

[@epic6501]

europe is like a beautiful museum and continental america is a shithole filled with drug trafficking and urban wasteland for the museum workers to laugh at and go "oh that sucks" whenever literally anything happens there

[@Isometrix116]

​@HaifaaAmni Correction: Politics are a TV show, celebrity gossip is a TV show, but America is so influential and exports so much culture that everyone always hears about the American stuff. Seriously, it's less that America is weird and more that it's center stage, so everyone notices. Look at Ireland, or Australia, or Japan, or the UK, or Canada, or... and you'll see similar levels of insanity.

[@Jonath_an1008]

@@Isometrix116Not completely true. While yes most countries are somewhat insane. The us takes this and 10x it. The amount of insane shit in the us is insane

[@Michelleysinga12]

i love the little schlatt animation!!! it’s so cute

[@SayoriReal]

Real I loved those

[@charliesmith5229]

I don't.

[@e1901]

Yes! It was enjoyable and funny lol

[@markwest1937]

I was allergic to peanuts as a boy, but as I became a man that weakness left my body

[@parcton9716]

I went the other route and just transed my gender

[@HateMerchant]

@@parcton9716 🤡

[@kingzeno1708]

W evolution

[@hiiamxk]

yo halt i just realized peanuts grow underground????

[@megaduffpuff2435]

My zfold 6 is the reason I'm able to sports bet while watching your videos in full screen schlatt.

[@dextrosefather]

its the reason im able to record my uni lecture and watch schlagg at the same time

[@Bogsnail]

Paper straws are inexcusable. 1: there’s better biodegradable straws that don’t get soggy 2: plastic straws are a red herring to distract from the fact that most of the plastic in the ocean is dumped fishing nets and equipment

[@Teriiiyakiii]

7:33 Fold user here. I use the tablet mode for doing art/graphic design/editing on the go and taking notes. It can be difficult to draw on a small rectangle. It's also cool for 3DS and DS emulation. But yea, there's not much use for it for those who don't really need the extra screen space. Also you can't see the crease at all when the screen's on. You can still feel it tho. Also also it's not the peanut we're allergic to it's the protein. Most can eat peanut oil, candies, and cereal. This video's targeting me personally at this point.

[@adamushu]

1 fun thing about a tablet fold is that you dont need youtube premium to have a video playing while out of the app lol. But yea I do use split screen quite often, like having notes and whatever else i need for work, or things like youtube and chess, or youtube and reddit, or chrome and anything, or excel and discord, or emails and notes or excel.

[@qwoolrat]

mannn all of these sins and you agree with farenheit too thats crazy

[@SeanMaddenBMX]

@@qwoolrat fahrenheit is better, sure 32f being freezing and 212 being boiling is random, but its not hard to remember. For the temperatures that we experience day to day, its much more specific and memorable than celcius

[@Teriiiyakiii]

@@qwoolrat i think you might have replied to the wrong comment?

[@qwoolrat]

@@SeanMaddenBMX memorable is subjective, specific is unnecessary

[@slappels1266]

8:57 "Jschlatt" casually advocating for allergy-based eugenics.

[@what-br1ub]

did he just say that peanuts grow on a tree

[@broadestsmiler]

@@what-br1ub He did, and he would be wrong. Peanuts are legumes and grow underground.

[@TonyMaynard-SD]

AND the "joke" is so overdone its like not even funny

[@slavicgamer7621]

@@broadestsmiler "peanuts are legumes" nerdy ahh

[@TheUltimateNix]

Does that allergy opinion count as ableism? Also, does his hate on elephants count as specieism?

[@lsswappedcessna]

Schlatt's paper straw rant is real. Plastic straws banned? METAL FUCKING STRAWS. Toss them in the dishwasher with your plates and cups, hell, let the customers take them home, they aren't worth that much, you can get a 120 pack of them at wally world for like $50.

[@hollywebber1461]

11:40 you need to understand, as a restaurant server, that giving a paper straw to an asshole customer is sometimes the best part of my day

[@AdultsAreTalking]

It's even better when you know you have plastic ones instead.

[@Vldmr_TM]

I genuinely love this type of content, steering away from reaction slop

[@YellowMustard_]

It’s not slop, isn’t schlop

[@LilSillyCritter]

​@@Itxquirkgg gang its over for me i guess lmao, ain't no one subscribing from this, ya gotta put effort in for those subs to matter anyways, just some friendly advice if ya want subs think what you want them for, and is this the best way to achieve that if no im rooting for ya in whatever you try next

[@fedethegreat88]

​@@LilSillyCritterHave Schlatt viewers never heard of comment bots?

[@LilSillyCritter]

@@fedethegreat88 nah i get this but like there is a slim chance this ain't and on that chance i thought it best to yap

[@fedethegreat88]

@@LilSillyCritter Usually the ones that aren't bots are either UTTP or Christian spammers, these ones are 100% of the time bots

[@rendann]

5:19 was that the effing grindr notification

[@trashfay]

I'd say "how'd u know", but I know too

[@muk0u]

how do you know what that sounds like

[@thewacher9787]

Yes yes it was

[@JethroLive]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that noticed bro

[@zentryii]

Lmao I noticed that too.

[@TheBananaFourSeven1776]

5:03 thank you for sharing this. He will be dealt with shortly

[@pqstelss]

Oh yeah! Luigi-time!

[@Dogempire-001]

0:10 so that's what he did in 1999

[@Frigid_Thoughts]

​​@@Itxquirk nice way to self-promote, Fake voodoo ahh bro

[@CaliSalt69]

​@@Itxquirkthank you. I can be finally free from this world.

[@thelivingzombie8403]

​@@ItxquirkI've spent the last 4FUCKING DAYS DOING A CHEMISTRY PROJECT. 8 HOURS OF RESEARCH AND WORK. I would LOVE for you to kill me now. Take me to Liam Playne. I beg of you

[@thelivingzombie8403]

Lmao

[@Aaron_black2408]

​@@Itxquirk haha joke's on you that's exactly what I need

[@levithompson252]

I don't think anyone will read this, but in case anyone is interested: I am about to graduate with a bachelor's degree in Forest Ecosystem Management. In short, the reason we have timber shortages isn't from the lack of trees, it's from a dip in the economy. For a tree to go from the ground, to logging truck, to a mill, to a treatment plant, to the store, is a long, disjointed process. Only a small portion of companies actually own everything and are able to complete the whole process themselves. Most of the time you have a landowner who sells the timber to a sawmill. That sawmill will hire loggers (sometimes contractors, sometimes they work directly for the mill) to cut the trees down. The TRUCKERS who drive the trees to the mill are often independent contractors, who pick up jobs based on where they are. Once the log gets to the mill, it's cut up into boards. Then, it's sent to a treatment place (where they kiln dry and it and treat it for weather or whatever it needs done). From there, it goes to the stores, where consumers buy it. Because of capitalism, the consumer drives the prices of the product. When the economy is bad, people stop buying lumber to build houses and stuff. But what ends up happening, is the means of production is so far removed from the consumer (because of so many steps), prices often don't shift fast enough for the loggers on the ground. It's weird and complicated, but basically, even if a 2x4 quadruples in price, the logger likely won't actually see that price change in his income - but he feels the rise in gas prices to run his equipment. So, when the market is down, loggers stop cutting. I've heard of people buying over a million dollars worth of timber, and then the market crashes, and they literally didn't cut it for 5 years because they were waiting for it to be worth it - they still lost money. Also, a big cause for timber prices dropping is because China isn't buying as much timber as they were in the early 2000's.

[@boomblade1019]

That’s sick man, shoutout to environmental majors

[@Aodhite]

Very informational thank you

[@Extatick]

Wtf

[@raven-the-guy]

this is VERY interesting, thanks for sharing

[@AdultsAreTalking]

Yeah I love Schlatt but a little research goes a long way 😂 I hate when people just make assumptions because most things tend to not be so black and white. That being said, I agree with everything else he ranted about. Fuck paper straws. I wish I invented them because whoever did is set for life and is laughing at us right now 💰

[@mburl]

11:40 yes, yes we are

[@xtrastudios8270]

Jschlatt is one of the few content creators that makes me giggle with glee and kick my feet

[@Foz482]

My problem with Farenheit is that the point that is 0°F is standardised based off of the freezing point of a mixture of water, ice and... ammonium chloride? Whereas 0°C is the freezing point of pure water, and 100°C is the boiling point of pure water. That makes more sense

[@T4ngi]

yes

[@alesjpohl]

Celsius even has the same scale as Kelvin, which is the real temperature scale

[@T4ngi]

@@alesjpohl yeah

[@theriveracis5172]

0 in Fahrenheit is cold to a human. 0 in Celsius is cold for water. I am not water.

[@Mag2Stone]

@@theriveracis5172 Well... water is the main component of your body (about 60%) And "cold to a human" is absolutely not a good way to measure something. If you ask different people what is "cold" you will get wildly different results. It even depends on the humidity, wind and many other factors. (Fahrenheit isn't even compatible with Kelvin in any way afaik. Are there ANY calculations that are easier using Fahrenheit?)

[@AaronMarshall-q1i]

This is just "ya know what really grinds my gears" from family guy

[@kgruberbenlevy1894]

5:28 its funny that he sais Europeans but its the entire world

[@ping-bi3dm]

Yea, lol, they are completly alone on that.

[@dommoo2]

Ya 32 is more reasonable for water to freeze at then fucking 0

[@Moter.]

​@@dommoo2 how?? No it isn't, and it boiling at 100 makes so much more sense than like 216

[@sopzoki]

@@Moter. that person was being sarcastic

[@space_cadet_alien]

@@Moter. no

[@Kevintheria19]

Im currently going through a breakup and Shlatt is the only person who made me laugh in quite a bit, thanks shlatt.

[@sceenee]

he's finally coming out!

[@kneedeepinthepassengerseat]

He kinda did on the vid he just uploaded on the schlatt and co channel

[@philh98]

​@@Itxquirk I'll die happy knowing I didn't subscribe❤

[@LizordSword]

​@@ItxquirkYAYYYYYYYYY WAHOOOOO

[@Dariel-Trinidad]

​@Itxquirk oh thank god, I get to die sooner than expected💀

[@brandgames6091]

@@Itxquirkjokes on you, I don’t want to be here anymore

[@manoffewords1]

11:17 - It's not a shortage of lumber, it's a shortage of truckers to get the lumber to where it needs to go.

[@JoshuaZitzelsberger-sk3ek]

It’s because they won’t hire drunk drivers

[@lexi_the_rabbit_alt]

thank you for this comment! :3

[@codymifsud2448]

It also is the high quality lumber needed to complete projects. That’s why. Like we need old growth lumber for things to work

[@notspiderofficial]

@@codymifsud2448I was told that a lot of companies plant three trees for every one tree they cut down. Idk if it’s 100% true so I may be wrong about that

[@centific]

“It’s a, it’s a nut. It’s a tiny little thing. It grows on a little tree” … yeah Schlatt, you go on and think that…

[@things4438]

Schlatt is freaking stupid

[@WaskoDaFox]

'murican

[@sirlukeypookie]

most intelligent fareinheit enjoyer

[@Chemically_Induced]

@@WaskoDaFox wtf do you even mean by that? Murica is the 4th largest producer of peanuts worldwide. They just don't grow in NYC.

[@sirlukeypookie]

@@Chemically_Induced most intelligent 'murican

[@robloxskillissue]

agreed on everything exept 5:30 it just make so much more sence if everything below 0 is freezing idk how it bad

[@winterwisteria]

This is the shit i subscribed to schlatt for. The combination of art with his humor? Impeccable. The drawings add so much, 10/10 video.

[@Bratgirly]

This must have been so hard to go through :( I’m so glad your mastectomy went well, hoping you have a swift recovery 💕

[@prrrismo]

schlatt hating foldable phones yet having never seen or used one is the most schlatt thing ever

[@Kemp999]

Ikr. Im actually pretty happy that i have mine. The fold just overall can be used for anything when folded, but when opening it, it just makes gaming, multi-tasking or watching vids a lot more better.

[@-shurikenpaul-6931]

Foldable phone owners really coping hard huh

[@drukson]

most useless shit ever

[@DRECKoNex]

foldable phones are the most useless thing ever, they cost so much just for them to be fragile and have no benefit

[@dommoo2]

I have had the z fold 2 3 and 6 and thay are the best phones i have ever had, and thay only have been getting better and better

[@tortilla8145]

So uh. Yeah. I have a folding phone. I actively tell people to never get one.

[@ryankeller9499]

0:57 you sure were a threat back in 99

[@AverageDOOMfantbh]

What happened in '99?

[@F_Name]

​@@AverageDOOMfantbh...you don't wanna know buddy

[@AverageDOOMfantbh]

@@F_Name I wanna know

[@maxnco008]

He pretends like he did something devious, but almost everyone knows that it was really just a massive all male orgy

[@pizzaman1720]

What happened in 2001 is nothing compared to what happened in ‘99

[@mjzela3229]

Schlatt if we cut down too many trees we will all fucking die.

[@great_hedgehog8199]

Eventually, probably, because of the hit on biodiversity destabilising the ecosystem until it, possibly, crumbles. But oxygen specifically, if that's the main thing you're implying, comes mostly from the oceans; which is a whole other concern, but cutting down trees will not be as impactful to the planet's oxygen production as many think

[@just0982]

Damn, i didnt know that trees were irreplicable.

[@jams3842]

@@just0982 minutes to cut down, years to grow back

[@palecandy]

sleep deprived should just watch the lorax for a video

[@just0982]

@@jams3842 and hours to do the math on exactly how many we need to plant vs how many nature autonomously plants vs how many we cut down.

[@ーーサークルガードーー]

i love the cute little animations inbetween the chapters also W takes

[@JUSTREGULARSCREAMINGAAHH]

reminds me of the offensive jimmy carr doodles

[@JUSTREGULARSCREAMINGAAHH]

@Itxquirk BEAT IT SCHLIGGER

[@novvut]

i think if we stopped making paper straws we wouldn’t have a lumber shortage anymore

[@unlikelygoldfish576]

I can tell by the art style, that he hired that one animator from the room reaction vid, the one where he pretends to show schlatts house.

[@unlikelygoldfish576]

Or im just wrong and stupid

[@eugene3301]

which video is it?

[@unlikelygoldfish576]

@ Wait ill look

[@unlikelygoldfish576]

@ “ranking your disgusting bedrooms” at 35:44

[@TomJ211]

that video was 3 months ago bro how do you remember 😭🙏(also it might not the same person as they draw the ears different)

[@Dreamy.tsu_]

bring back "did schlatt win" and bring someone who really fucking likes celsius and argue about which is better, im begging

[@tanakisoup]

Celsius is objectively worse for everyday use. How often do you need to know the boiling point of water? Is it really so important that you need to base your entire heat measurement off of it? Meanwhile Fahrenheit is just more accurate. For Celsius to be as accurate as Fahrenheit you need to start adding decimals. That’s a whole other digit added just to make Celsius comparable to Fahrenheit. If you add decimals to Fahrenheit it becomes incomparably more accurate than Celsius could ever hope to be

[@S0n0fG0D]

​@@tanakisoup humans being made out of mainly water:

[@tanakisoup]

@ and how often are you boiling?

[@S0n0fG0D]

​@@tanakisoup Celsius literally tells you that freezing is 0 and gets progressively hotter the natural way. Fahrenheit is just confusing. "Oh mate it's FREEZING outside, it's 40 DEGREES" Your version of too hot is 109. Tell me how that is "objectively" superior. I want to be CONVINCED that I should use that over Celsius. Do it.

[@S0n0fG0D]

@@tanakisoup never, because the temperature never reaches 100. That's the f*cking point. I know that It's too cold when it reaches 0. I know it's too hot when it reaches 30. It's simple and straightforward. Yours just jumps ahead by an extra 40 points for no reason. Explain to me why your freezing temperature is 40. 40 IS NOT A LOW NUMBER. EXPLAIN IT TO ME!!

[@GreatDaneGames1]

12:52 HOW DOES HE KNOW!!! 😨

[@ElliotGiles125]

Real as fuck

[@calvertturanyi8371]

I'M AVOIDING COLLEGE APPS DUE TOMORROW AAAAA not actually I just need a break

[@doodlebug_doodles]

No fr because I have to finish a storyboard for class 😭

[@redxdragon5934]

​@@calvertturanyi8371 I'm literally doing the same shit

[@kyb5203]

Man.. I should go back to working on my lab report

[@Con-Pin-]

Me and Friends & Family whenever we go to a restaurant with paper straws: "Anyone needs a mixing stick?"

[@Sawyer24]

im so sorry mr. shlatt, i will never be allergic to peanuts again.

[@mjakot3205]

5:25 Americans trying to remember at which temperature water boils 😞

[@MonoSause]

Oh look, it's boiling. Guess it's hot enough to boil. It also changes with elevation, so 100 C and 212 F might be off if you're in the mountains.

[@grdhggsdg]

True like bro 100 deegree celsius is SO much easier to remember than 212 deegrees farenheit ( I couldnt even remember it without looking it up )

[@TheGreatestSoul]

almost no one is technical enough to NEED to know at which temp water boils, and if they NEED to then they probably already have memorized 212.

[@pissedoffbucketguy9115]

110?

[@kyrcreruly]

When it boils :]

[@Masterous]

8:50 him thinking peanuts grow on trees is so funny

[@kaisrae]

Did you know that cashews come from a fruit 🎶

[@Moter.]

​@@kaisraeno🎶

[@pelegkislasi8723]

@@kaisrae 🎶

[@bigm8yule]

​@@kaisrae did not expect to read a tobuscus reference today

[@judith1075]

Schleanut: don't we believe in biology? Also jschlat: Peanuts grow on a tree

[@acee555]

as someone who owns a foldable phone, they suck but for not any reason anyone says they suck for. the clam-shell design you'd hope would protect it better from falls (which it does kind of) but it doesn't even matter if it lands on the outside screen anyways. and because its a stupid fold screen on the inside you can't put a screen protector on it so if you are using your phone when you drop it (incredibly rare scenario, I know) there will be tiny dents and scratches on it. also idk if this was a thing only with older fold phones but there is no visible crease in the screen, everyone brings it up as a big thing but, in reality, its everything else that makes it suck.

[@XiaoIsMyHusbandBTW]

i still think the flip phone look is just cute, but i actually hate the book looking ones too, those are just ugly

[@에이에이-aa]

@@XiaoIsMyHusbandBTW I like book style cus I can read manga more beneficial way. But without this preference of me, I'd rather choose bar.

[@JustaTwurtle]

I recently broke my weak little screen, and now I can't use the top half of my screen. I absolutely hate my phone. There are very few uses for it. Taking photos is easier, since you can set it up, but that's really it

[@saqlainhyder5412]

Had the book one, but my only issue with it is it's the worst to type on. The outer display has a narrow keyboard and the inner display has a wider keyboard

[@coffeecupcomps]

I feel the same Schlaggot

[@duckman5891]

He’s a schlaggot and we are his schlutts

[@XClobbertSpeedersonX]

Oh schlaggot if only you can understand

[@melonhead9908]

Bro... Wtf I did not expect to see this first on the comments

[@bigsmoke.bigsmoke]

First time in a while one of these "Schlasomething" comments made me laugh

[@prageruwu69]

real

[@ABitDistant]

description says the video is edited by Schlatt which means that the Grindr sound he put in at 5:18 and the “editors” note about him absolutely hating Ryan Trahan were all just him

[@plushy.gremlin0.o]

tommy trembling in his boots when schlatt says he doesn’t like vloggers who do the walking away shots 💀💀💀💀💀

[@Dirtsword888]

Dude! I genuinely understand your pain at 9:20. Can’t believe this isn’t number one. Also I love peanut butter and feel very sad for people who can’t

[@disputenf]

the celcius one hurt me personally

[@drxf33lg00d]

good

[@guavapaste]

@@drxf33lg00d celsius is better then fahrenheit because... bro. < 0 is cold. > 0 is hot. Now why tf is 25°F fucking cold? How do you guys know when it's cold outside? Why tf do you need a three digit number to say the temperature of your fucking microwave? There is little to no advantages on using Fahrenheit unless you like the number 100 assigned to your body's temperature.

[@great-wyrmII]

​@guavapaste 100 is 100 percent hot, and 25 is 25 percent hot (so cold)

[@mrmatt1331]

@@great-wyrmIIthats stupid. 0= freezing, 100= boiling. Nuff said

[@great-wyrmII]

@mrmatt1331 That's literally only nice for water. What about human comfort? What about weather?

[@BeatsByMyDad69]

8:25 I am watching this on a foldable phone. There are creases all over your face. I know you're laughing at me.

[@PearlyStardusts]

While he said this I could only think about someone with the phone going “well… do I have news for you”

[@Charlie-u6d5o]

You know what, thank you for the end note Schlatt. I've been ill and feeling sorry for myself until I realised I actually do have about 4-5 college essays due this week lol, hope you have a good day big man.

[@Muhammed_Salad]

11:24 Instruction unclear, I got arrested for murder

[@TheInfectedGamerYT]

Pphhhhhtttttt!!!😂😂😂😂

[@H.A.C.P.O.A_agent_H4_rank_lVl]

Can confirm I am now dead

[@party_dude]

can confirm i was the axe

[@TeaCrap]

Can confirm I was the blood

[@floorman7076]

Can confirm I was the security camera

[@Brian_Griffin_Gaming]

Shrectal cancer really had to say some fucked up shit

[@Ianweis]

Schlazophrenia makes my nono area feel funny

[@emmettl2780]

@@Ianweis holy schlatt! there is no way you just said that

[@not_dashstar]

Nice rack!

[@hoomanhiho]

@@emmettl2780whattt there’s nothing there. I think you’re hallucinating

[@Chaotic_evil_duck]

​@@Itxquirk shhhhhhhh

[@Cottor_OwO]

6:10 as someone who studies physics I would say Kelvin is the objectively correct one as temperature does have an absolute zero

[@terramarc]

Kelvin is impractical outside of a scientific setting though because any common temperature is gonna be in the multi hundreds

[@kikopsan]

So as a student of something theoretical you also know nothing we use to measure things measures what the "true" value would be

[@stokbrood]

Celsius is Kelvin, it's just that Celsius starts the base at the freezing point of water

[@Aygeu]

Rankine is better than Kelvin then

[@Cottor_OwO]

@@kikopsan yeah, but there is a true zero when we’re talking about temperature (also I wrote the first comment as a joke, kelvin is obviously not practical in everyday life)

[@dmex56]

" IM NOT A THREAT👹🔪"

[@mrlolgameryt]

2 uploads in less than 2 weeks, new york rent hitting hard

[@mrblanc8064]

I love how we collectively get together to watch a man with mutton chops rant about petty things he hates

[@mattsmorang9853]

I'm glad Schlatt finally came out

[@princeniccoli]

*Opens KZbin and sees this video and sighs* Alright Schlatt, what pisses you off buddy? *eats chips*

[@TrxumaBond]

6:27 friendly reminder that anything below 0 Celsius is freezing and over 100 Celsius is boiling. Where do you get the numbers 32 for freezing and 212 for boiling respectively in Fahrenheit?

[@Kromer_Hunter]

Because it’s iconic

[@Kromer_Hunter]

Because it’s iconic

[@Greasefire2]

@@Kromer_Hunterhow do you get “because it’s iconic”? That measurement system has been around longer, lol

[@Kromer_Hunter]

Yeah, sure. "It makes sense because modern society is based in decimal" Ok nerd 🤓12 inches per foot. 3 feet per yard. 5280 feet per mile. 6 feet two inches? Goated, chad. 188 centimeters? Beta, nerd.

[@TrxumaBond]

but we're not talking about distance, we're talking about temperature. at least with distances, we can agree that 0 means there's no space.

[@simonpodliska1072]

The internet truly is a toxic place, devoid of positivity. Just endless videos of people being angry. Anyways this is actually exactly what I need, please make more

[@Ultroxus]

“Schlemboy” goes crazy

[@tjrobertson9064]

Schlatt asking if i have ever seen a wooly mammoth just proves that he chose the snail for a million

[@user-sl1wt1dv4y]

I remember the last time Jschlatt was angry, I miss my wife.

[@t.o.mirite]

...tails, i miss her very much

[@YurinanAcquiline]

I miss his wife too.

[@Deztroyer3k]

@@t.o.mirite (Sigh)... I miss my wife tails... I miss her a lot

[@quintencornelissen2274]

​@@Deztroyer3k"I'll be back"

[@htspencer9084]

Next time aim better!

[@memelord1480]

4:05 so in total Squilliam has had about 9 episode, 1 video game (11 if you want to count him being briefly mentioned), and 5 book cameos. The episodes he shows up in are Season 2, "Band Geeks" - This is the Superbowl music episode Season 3, "Squilliam Returns" - Squilliam calls Squidwards bluff of him "owning a 5 star restaurant" Season 6, "House Fancy" - Shows off his house on live TV, basically taunting Squidward Season 6, "Professor Squidward" Minor appearance, laughs at Squidward while watching him get arrested Season 7, "I

[@Anonymouseyoutuber]

SpongeBob pfp well earned 💪😤

[@Chrosteellium]

11:35, me too. How about....we just.... dont use a straw? it's not like we as human beings are incapable of drinking from a glass that does not have a straw

[@leechion2933]

Fr tho

[@leechion2933]

Only use I see straws for is travel, and at that point get a lid with a nozzle

[@guh69]

Just use telekinesis smh...

[@leonardonetagamer]

Have you tried drinking anything with ice without a straw?

[@alexepic9199]

No buddy aint doing that

[@RK_7000]

So surprised Schlatt was able to name "House Fancy" over "Squilliam Returns" when they turn the Krusty Krab into a fine dining establishment😂

[@julialee7491]

"I'm not a threat" Sounds like something a threat would say...

[@NoahTheBl4d3]

"We know you need to finish that project" Me with at least 10 missing school assignments: *phases out of existence*

[@fynnee]

Transmasc, asexual pansexual spotted. R U my twin

[@NoahTheBl4d3]

@ maybe? Maybe not ;P

[@aleccooper1712]

peanuts don’t grow on trees schlidiot

[@maplebarf]

Who ever animated this I’m jealous and I want your job lol. It’s so cute!

[@plodiN3]

paper straw = illegal. owning 5 houses and 25 cars = perfectly fine don't even worry about it.

[@aksvinss]

gatekeeping resources go crazy

[@MarlowVR]

1:03 bro remembered the horrors of 1999. You may not remember me, but I saw everything, EVERYTHING. And I will not stop until this is over, lock your doors shlatt.

[@mementomori510]

Nobody gonna mention the Grindr ping at 5:20?

[@ghostofsilence2697]

I was just about to say that

[@KrustyCrout0n]

And you know what that sounds like? 🤔🤔🤔

[@S4ndsman]

@@KrustyCrout0n and you know what that means? 🤔🤔🤔

[@Floridadian]

i don't hear it

[@LizordSword]

​@@KrustyCrout0ndude you're watching schlatt