Things you wouldn't hear on a quiz show | Mock the Week - BBC

[@MikeWilsonBarrett]

Oh I just love Hugh Dennis hahaha

[@Chebab-Chebab]

Tonight on Egg Heads we have Dara O'Briain and Andy Parsons.

[@AzelfandQuilava]

"Well we couldn't call it 'Bald Pricks' now could we?"

[@milton7763]

That opening Cameron-joke didn’t get anywhere near the response it deserved

[@donovansharpe3831]

What's the guys name

[@luketonkinson5440]

Donovan Sharpe Ivo Graham

[@theriddler482]

It was really clever but not that funny

[@ShredOfficial]

My entry "And now we go to round 69, this is the head to head"

[@jaggass]

''Next it's the quick fire round fingers on triggers''

[@BBBuckley]

@alright 'giving' head

[@reevethomas1083]

“It’s the banker. He says he’s got your kids”

[@198soni891]

classic Frankie :’)

[@alansmithee419]

Deal.

[@rubywest5166]

“I’m sorry, I’ve been informed that I heard incorrectly. The banker is, in fact, in your wife’s box”

[@helenaandreaboschberth10]

I spent 10 minutes during an exam remembering the "Fucked if I know" joke, and now, 3 days later, I finally remember where it came from

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

"Good morning, that's a nice tnetennba."

[@gcurtis8512]

I came here to drink milk and kick ass, and I've just finished my milk

[@batters49]

What do you call “negative one” sat alone in an empty room?

[@robinwellaway5533]

That's ruddy mysterious

[@gideoncaplan6814]

last one is genius

[@danielyeshe]

I love Hugh's last joke!

[@MrKaywyn]

I love Ed's joke about taking your first answer.

[@jakamneziak]

It's Bullseye and here's your host Oscar Pistorious!

[@maijapoppanen218]

Help me I'm on an endless Mock the week wormhole and I can't get out

[@josephinebennington7247]

Can’t help you, I’m in here somewhere too. And I’m the ear worm....

[@phunkymind23]

So now we're down to just two regulars: Dara and Hugh. After this round, one of you will have to leave. Who will it be?

[@FakingANerve]

That last joke takes the cake 😂

[@verity_amo]

Is it just me or does Hugh always look a little depressed after he finishes speaking?

[@Quicks792]

It's part of the delivery of the jokes, and it definitely works!

[@verity_amo]

@@Quicks792 i thought about that but he just looked a little *too* disappointed about something..

[@pineapplepenumbra]

@@verity_amo Well, there was the rejection of his marriage proposal.

[@verity_amo]

@@pineapplepenumbra Wait, seriously...? Man, that's heavy.

[@pineapplepenumbra]

@@verity_amo 2:01 "I'll marry someone else, then."

[@Jafs]

When you watch mock the week literally just for Hugh Dennis

[@nadinewesterveld5597]

I still hear that "finger on buzzards" in my mind whenever I hear "finger on buzzers"

[@RIXRADvidz]

Sha Waddi Waddi

[@chrisgarton4225]

Oh sorry I didn’t know we were on. Hello and welcome to Distraction.

[@emmalouise9536]

Welcome to eggheads well we couldn’t call it smug pricks could we 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@alexbullett9151]

😂😂 that one about Cameron

[@paddyh8023]

1:43 Bakku If anyone's interested

[@Justgirlmustache]

Thank Obama

[@moshemankoff7488]

The good people of Fukedifiknow beg to disagree.

[@alansmithee419]

Nah it's "A"

[@chrisstar969]

Barrack Embalmer are you my uncle? The one who was an undertaker in the army?

[@niallh4194]

"Well Robert, it's time to meet the banker...wait...oh...no...oh sorry...we have just got news that the banker has taken your money and got on a flight to the Caymen Islands"

[@chrisgarton4225]

Hello and welcome to Supermarket Sweep, where I’m sweeping this whole supermarket.

[@alexnorman4919]

So John the question is this,, "Do you like Marmite?? I think you know what the options are!!!!"

[@chrisgarton4225]

Welcome to Tipping Point, looks like we’re on the edge now.

[@chrisgarton4225]

And as you can see here, the oldest brother and the first born sister are fighting about who’s the favorite, welcome to Family Feud

[@chrisgarton4225]

Hello and welcome to The Bank Job. Okay who took the money?!

[@BabiesTasteOfChicken]

There is scant little that brings me greater joy. Sad. Isn't it?

[@livb6945]

No

[@jaggass]

''You could be £50,000 richer and so could we since we are charging people £1.50 a call''

[@chrisgarton4225]

And let’s go to our Countdown Conundrum. Well no one has got it let’s see what it is: CONUNDRUM

[@LiamEFC.]

1:43😁😁

[@chrisgarton4225]

Congratulations! You just won a trip to Napa! The Napa Auto Parts store that is to pick up your brand new car! The car that has been handed down from many generations of your family!

[@cirrustate8674]

@Eric Burkheimer Well, they need parts stores in other countries, too.

[@chrisgarton4225]

And our biggest price is one million dollars, oh sorry one million pounds.

[@alansmithee419]

No, it's rubles

[@VlvrdMlgm]

with some dumb answers I've heard on game shows here on US TV, I could expect to hear 0:33

[@pineapplepenumbra]

It's Baku.

[@andrewmacd03]

“We asked you for things that start with an ‘e.’ You said, ‘a great night out with the lads!” Bet that’s what Ed Gamble thinks. He looks like someone who would take drugs 😂

[@andrewfenn3019]

A question with a hilarious possibility will make our host piss himself laughing on the inside while trying to keep a poker face. All that and more on..... The Chase

[@chrisgarton4225]

For one million dollars here is your question. What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. C B. A C. D D. B

[@alfiefryer1399]

LOL

[@Lord_Skeptic]

That actually was a question on who wants to be a millionaire

[@thephandmphamilywithalvefo3307]

Chris Garton oof 😂

[@jbcatz5]

Ooh er, can I get a 50/50 on that?

[@jesseberg3271]

I never thought of buzzards as birds of prey. I always assumed that you had to hunt to be a bird of prey, not scavenge.

[@beeble2003]

It seems that buzzards, kites, vultures, and other carrion-eaters are generally classed as birds of prey. The general characteristics are that they eat vertebrates, have talons and strong beaks for tearing flesh. But it's one of those terms that's been used "forever", rather than a formal biological classification.

[@jaggass]

''What is Ian Watkins's favorite chord is it A Minor? shit''

[@chrisgarton4225]

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 HAPPY NEW YEAR! Oh no sorry welcome to Countdown

[@conormcinnes4384]

Baku. The capital of Azerbaijan is Baku

[@jaggass]

''Entrants must be 18 or over as im not interested anybody younger than that''

[@justinleavitt2643]

I’ll

[@LiamEFC.]

How do they think of things like this so quickly

[@gcurtis8512]

Because they're comedians

[@AutomaticDuck300]

They're given the topics and subjects on the show in advance, so some jokes are prepared like in Scenes We'd Like To See but some of it (especially in the main part of the show) is improvised.

[@jesuschristonabike8878]

Plus, they record for hours for each 30-minute show, most of which is cut. They have more than enough time to think up jokes.

[@klop4228]

I feel like they must still improvise some of SWLtS, since some of them are replies to others' responses, but maybe they talk to each other before each show to get these to work as well.

[@Evghenios79]

Its improvised, but they do multiple takes (to give us a more polished delivery)

[@SeanCurtiss]

How did they miss: *Buzz* Correct; The buzzard is in fact a carrion bird and not a bird of prey

[@pionelpessi707]

3:05 and at time of this comment, Hugh is a Pointless guest host

[@mechislander]

The sad thing is I know what the capital of Azerbaijan is without googling... Baku.

[@FalconFire13]

tothemoon Despite what is considered as "cool", knowing your geography shit isn't sad !

[@jakewoolley9533]

I only know coz there is a formula 1 race there

[@thomasbyrne9127]

F1 fan ?

[@AngeliqueV]

I'm a F1 fan but didn't knew it ... but i'm not that smart ... maybe that's the reason .. brainless XD

[@eoinh1]

More impressive if you told me what is the capital of nagorno-karabakh.

[@Nulono]

I don't get the "I've started" one.

[@fredgodling5914]

Some game shows the host will start to ask a question when the timer runs out but because he has already started the question he continues giving the player a chance for the point. From that context as the host Hugh started to take a piss time ran out but because he had started..........................

[@truthseeker502]

Hard to believe these lines aren't prewritten

[@RIXRADvidz]

I wish we had a font for sarcasm and irony, you can't tell if someone is actually being witty or plain stupid. I hope the former and not the latter.

[@beeble2003]

They're preprepared. The comedians are given the topics in advance so they have time to prepare material.

[@khalilokhal5398]

My entry: now we move on to the next round called stupid assumptions..... That is of course ASSUMING you're still watching this shit.

[@chrisgarton4225]

Eight players remain, but only one will win the prize money. Find out which seven of the eight contestants will be disintegrated when we return to, the Weakest Link!

[@jesseberg3271]

Didn't they literally do that on Doctor Who?

[@jaggass]

''We asked 100 people to name 10 driest places in the world you said a Convent our survey says''

[@chrisgarton4225]

Welcome to the Weakest Link, goodbye.

[@sarcasmo57]

SNAP!

[@FooBarBash]

I really really can't stand Angela Barnes on this show. There are great female comedians, but she's consistently unfunny, uninteresting, and frankly irritating.

[@Julietta334]

It's weird, but her jokes are often very clever. Like objectively I reckon if someone else was telling them I'd love them. She's just not that likable

[@chrisgarton4225]

I’ll take all big numbers for the numbers round, and the target is 999.

[@NVME57]

The next person to press their buzzer will lose.

[@andrewfenn3019]

It's the game the whole family can play. It's "Incest". Here's your host, Josef Fritzl.

[@chrisgarton4225]

Welcome to Pressure Pad where you have to use your hands and feet to apply enough pressure to the pad to answer the question.

[@robertmcdonald8342]

I thought it was good. Would the US version be the Biden joke?

[@chrisgarton4225]

Um, I’ll take why people want one Jeopardy champion over the other two Jeopardy champions for $2,000

[@chrisgarton4225]

I’d like to buy a howl

[@Nulono]

Washing machine salesman? Huh?

[@alexandradelliou]

2020: 3481

[@chrisgarton4225]

Hello and welcome to Distraction. Now let’s welcome our contestants, every girl who found out I liked them and made me leave them for good.

[@Lord_Skeptic]

what is the best way to cheat at who wants to be a millionaire a. cough

[@tpfootballanalysis6752]

2nd

[@tpfootballanalysis6752]

Cos I like to make note I was early for a video

[@tpfootballanalysis6752]

The BBC is a big channel. I find it an achievement if I am first or second to comment in a video. I only do it on big channels. I don't spam your channel so it doesn't affect you

[@toxigames]

its not busy over here,

[@chrisgarton4225]

We surveyed one hundred people, only the top answer is on the board, here’s the question: Name the country who doesn’t understand the English language. Oh I’m sorry the United States isn’t on the board.

[@mitchelljack1590]

These are rarely funny

[@deirdredowling2251]

And again token woman. 50 per cent population.