Unlikely lines from a romantic novel | Mock the Week - BBC

[@johnnychin]

Andy Parson's M&S joke was brilliant.

[@Gongasoso]

What's M&S?

[@johnnychin]

Gongasoso M&S is Marks & Spencers, a British departmental store. They had a fpod campaign previously that played on the word S&M because it was similar to their name.

[@hip2thabone_da_sticky1]

@@Gongasoso en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marks_%26_Spencer

[@untidyecho9916]

'As he slid into her, she moaned 'UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA' '

[@kylestubbs8867]

Where is that one? I'd really like to hear it again.

[@nicholasseaks95]

love the Nando's bit. It's like it's from a romance novel for normal people.

[@johnblobbylauder2866]

hugh dennis customs officer brilliant

[@grahambretman4010]

Watched this many times just for Gary's flushing angrily joke, brilliant

[@tompengelly8030]

That last joke about Mr Darcy almost made me cackle at work. XD

[@markt1387]

"This is the last time we can be together. Have you anything to say?" "Unexpected Item In The Bagging Area...".

[@Brownalebelly]

The delivery on that last one was perfect

[@chrisjasper3289]

Hugh Dennis = Legend

[@jeanmichellelaurent]

He kissed up from her ample thigh to her toned flat stomach. Silence and then he heard the sweet words of “I’m sorry sir but that mannequins are for display only” coming from the shop clerk

[@WardyLion]

Having been apart for so many years, Helen couldn’t contain her joy at seeing her love again and flung herself into his arms, crying: “Oh, John! I’ve missed you so much! My heart ached every day we were apart and I have dreamed of this day for so long!” John held her close for a moment before stepping back and replying: “Oh, Helen...you haven’t half let yourself go!”

[@connieallen6804]

"Heavily into M&S" AHAHA IM DEAD

[@curiousgemini]

Those Custom agents are pretty thorough.

[@eamonahern7495]

That last one! 😂

[@perfectlyfrank8]

I laughed a bit too hard at the last one :D

[@soapysoappla942]

Frankie Rufolo same

[@RyanKravesGaming]

I'm afraid many people disapprove of our relationship so we can no longer be together. Good bye . Europe

[@frankydave]

Hugh bloody kills it there. Gary as well.

[@mdntctyvlcn]

She fell in love with him from the first moment he spoke to her: "It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

[@ratherryan]

Gary Delaney is hilarious in this XD

[@TheManOfManyNames373]

Here's mine. They gazed into each others eyes. Breaking the silence, she said "Oh John, you're like my best friend."

[@klop4228]

Ouch.

[@KeithFraser82]

Hugh and Romesh vying there for the Frankie Boyle Memorial Award for Most Wince-Inducing Joke...

[@cyqry]

In fairness, I think Romesh took it this time, the pause as that sense of humour joke ticked into people's brains!

[@stuwiebentube]

Ha ha Hugh's one :)

[@edwardkinsey5680]

Dara and Ed looked into each other’s eyes.....

[@kiraaisling9603]

1:35 *god he loved being a priest*

[@nickbrothwood1238]

HOLUP!

[@davidshulimson9491]

I don't think I've seen anyone make Parsons and Romesh break character like Hugh's customs joke did.

[@SuperMarioDWfan]

Hugh is classic!

[@just-tess]

1:44 Hugh's little arm swing though!

[@adamedwards7520]

That first one made me heave - hysterical.

[@AbdulRashid-do7yp]

hugh killed this one

[@zlee001]

flushed angrily. XDDD

[@timebomb4562]

That baa at the beginning was brilliant I wonder if Hugh does any other barnyard noises

[@tomm1102]

That was proper funny haha

[@jellyslopefall572]

She couldn’t take her eyes off him. The colour she saw on his face and the shock from his words: ‘technical difficulties, please stand by’

[@paulpurves484]

Gary owned that one

[@Johny40Se7en]

That last one was a corker! =P

[@AllaMortify]

As he waited for her in the restaurant, he began to wonder whether he'd made a mistake in coming straight from work. Her tinder profile had stated "no clowns" but surely she hadn't meant that literally?

[@sweiland75]

I had to hear Romesh's second joke three times, before I got it. I am guilty of being a man.

[@dearberlin]

Very nice set!

[@DJB0X3R]

“I will always love you (ewe).” “Baaa”

[@stephenmurphy2212]

A gay love story: Romeo and Julius!

[@AllaMortify]

Nervously, he leaned in and kissed her. She seemed a little cold. Her pale skin, as white as milk was flawless. The embalmer had really outdone himself this time.

[@sherrieanderson505]

Romeo, Romeo where art thou Romeo? "I'm down here you blind bitch" She pondered the events of the previous night. Never before had she realised that the hardest part of eating a vegatable would be the wheelchair.

[@Robman275]

Rob Beckett's joke about Alex Salmond suddenly became very topical.

[@CliftonPhotographer]

He gazed deeply and long into her eyes, unable to look away..... It was then that he realized he really had a thing for women with cataracts.

[@AlexBlexAleb]

i remember this from yesterday LOL

[@alanburge2725]

Customs officer. All the jokes are great but that has to be the absolute winner surely.

[@citywitt3202]

1:29 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@anthonymichaeleardley494]

3:28 🤣🤣🤣

[@annanbjhfbjdhfmxnbfvj8447]

Sarah's love made him feel like a young boy again. which is why he went out to find one

[@Gyarkify]

I don't get Romesh first joke about the young boy, someone explain.

[@Gongasoso]

"Do you feel like Indian tonight, love?" "No, I feel like a young boy..." "... I knew you were weird, but this!?" /\ It's the same type of pun, I think, as this one /\

[@kjamison5951]

The guy was so caught up in the moment with this woman that he recalled how good he felt when he was a young boy.

[@BadWebDiver]

It's a pedo joke...

[@Me-fo1kk]

Think...you are as old as you feel...ok (insert here..the man or the woman you are humping )

[@aupaaupa2377]

Romesh just choosing violence

[@shaunpenne1840]

Elizabeth Bennett's eyes widened as Mister Darcy emerged from the lake dripping wet, needless to say a few moments later the feeling was mutual!!!

[@Me-fo1kk]

Must say I saw that scene that was so overblown in hype. Did nothing for me.

[@shaunpenne1840]

@@Me-fo1kk I think it's the dual wedding scene at the end, where we can see that Colin Firth has an impressive set of love spuds in his trou, that got a lot of women talking. As a guy, I didn't notice until my girlfriend at the time (back in '95!) pointed it out! Ever since, the pendulistic swaying of Colin Firth's pan handle has haunted me, much in the same way that Ned Flanders tight ski suit haunts Homer!!😬😬😬😬😬

[@laksyy]

Last one 😂👏

[@ChrisCatton]

What is Romesh referring to when he talks about the person "not watching her drink"?

[@EA369]

Roofies, date rape drug you put in someones drink.

[@ChrisCatton]

I thought it might be a particular event or person.

[@ItsAsianTV]

what's the one about Shaun

[@chrisgarton4225]

Oh Romeo oh Romeo, where for art thou Romeo? I’m not kidding where the heck are you?!

[@gwishart]

It's actually "Wherefore art thou Romeo?"; it's an enquiry into the existential reason for identity, not location. Wherefore means "why".

[@harrywhite9030]

@@gwishart shut up

[@Nulono]

I don't get the locket joke.

[@azure.blue567]

A locket (or lockets) is also the name of a cough sweet in the UK

[@catherinegalvin8471]

As he walked in on his girlfriend with another man all he could think of was back to when he’d being coming out of his cage and he’d been doing just fine

[@Wrenn_NYC]

I can do that one better. Lines REMOVED from a now published romance/erotic novel. (I was the editor doing the removing.) 1) "Cocks Thrashed" (I keep a list.)

[@ronitchatterjee5430]

What's the point of the buzzer

[@BadWebDiver]

Signal the comics to swap or finish. Once he got angry at someone and buzzed them before they could speak! :D

[@chrishanson9748]

@@BadWebDiver At Andy Parsons, for his joke about "And it's gold (medal) for Ireland!", he buzzed him out every time he tried to do something.

[@wakefieldtrainlad340]

I love your eyes, your beautiful face and cute little nose, eh... no not you I'm talking to the dog!

[@just-tess]

haha Hugh did that one on Valentine's cards SWLTS!

[@jakamneziak]

'close your legs love your meet smells' *female voice* 'it keeps the flies off me chips!'

[@Monkey80llx]

Parsons voice is not only annoying but it never changes, no matter what he’s saying. 🙄

[@Nulono]

I don't get the cough sweet joke.

[@shirokumaotaku]

Because a locket it is also another word for a pendant that you can put something special inside It's kind of like a play on word joke

[@powderedground78]

Lockets are a brand of cough sweet.

[@alvindimes4729]

Slowly passionately our lips 💋 met, then she crossed her legs and broke my glasses.

[@UKsingh1313]

69 dislikes 🤣

[@Agnethatheredhairkid]

Unlike most women on this show, Sarah Pascoe was actually funny.

[@Haaris.Qureshi]

That joke about abusing sexual harassment claims was made in very poor taste, I think.

[@KeithFraser82]

I didn't take it that way - I assumed the scenario in the joke was one of genuine sexual harassment where the harasser got what he deserved.

[@Haaris.Qureshi]

***** Even by this show's standards.

[@malteeaser101]

I thought the total opposite.

[@Haaris.Qureshi]

I've been watching the show for ages, this still seemed poor taste even for their standards.

[@colin76samp]

That joke was tame compared to when frankie boyle was a regular, least they trying to keep things near the knuckle