Think Fast Before You Speak: Framework Communication

[@BeUltranormal]

👋🏻Heyaa! Hope you enjoyed this video! Do struggle to think fast? 😮😮 🤫Wanna join my SECRET Relationship Bootcamp? be.ultranormal.co/relationship-bootcamp - Chris

[@sehr56]

Had to come back to this again. Damn working memory! LOL!!!

[@BeUltranormal]

Practice and it will become default. Think of it this way, working memory is RAM, long term memory is HDD. In order to get something stuck as our default, we need to write it to HDD through repetition and practice! :)

[@sehr56]

@@BeUltranormal Thanks Chris, good way to visualize what I want to happen and understanding the mechanics of the brain to get there! Danke’!

[@sehr56]

@@BeUltranormal Makes perfect sense Chris. Thanks for the metaphor. A close second might be open windows/tabs on desktop. I can only keep a few open at a time, which is one of the reasons I hate to be interrupted and promoted to a new task, Without finishing the first one. The joke is that Womem never close open windows/tabs. One of the reasons they have the ability to quickly recall a precise slight I inflicted on my partner 3 years ago. I had zero recollection from my HDD and Certainly not my RAM. That has happened again and again and she gets sore because I honestly can’t remember it. Women must have RAM nearly as large as their HDD. Recall is instantaneous! You would think that all those Open windows/tabs would slow down their processing speed. Not so!

[@sehr56]

I can’t believe that people actually talk to me!😜 Babbling. Yes. Plus repeating myself. Am I doing that till my ideas are validated, or till I get the response I want? Or do I feel that I need to clarify my high speed ideas? Good work Chris!

[@BeUltranormal]

Ha, yes, I've experienced similar. Like I've gotten halfway through saying something and stopped, thinking to myself "what was my point?". It's really just practice. Practicing formulating your point before speaking. The more you do it, the more automatic it becomes, the quicker the process gets. I always like to think of it like basketball. No one is born a great basketball player, but over time, the more they practice in a deliberate way, the quicker their reactions come, the quicker their movements happen, the better they get. Practice deliberately and the performance comes as a result! Some of the best communicators I know have ADHD! Our fast moving brain PLUS organized communication = unstoppable :) Thanks as always for stopping by Stu!!

[@sehr56]

I can’t believe people, friends family, tolerate that I say the same thing, a simple thought, 3 only slightly different ways of saying the same thing. Am I waiting for them to come up with a different response, or that they are not responding with the same energy I’m putting into saying it. Even the most mundane things. Heading over to a party tonight with close friends. Will try to plan, stay present and only speak once. I can certainly control what I say, but I can’t control how other people respond. So I just speak it and let it be. Thanks for your help on this and the concept of frameworks. Will definitely be checking that out. I’ll let you know how it goes at the party tonight.

[@BeUltranormal]

As I say to my members: "What you need on game day, you find in practice". If we need to manage emotions, we need to practice ahead of time, if we need to master conversations, we need to practice ahead of time, if we need to practice being present, we need to practice ahead of time. :) Practice will get us there, always!

[@sehr56]

@@BeUltranormal Any thoughts on how to globally and specifically “practice” in each of these areas? Do You have a program or can recommend resources that will inform me on what and how to practice? Thank you Chris!🌞😜

[@Helen.Channel988]

Thank you for these recipes for effective communication

[@BeUltranormal]

Thanks for stopping by!

[@sehr56]

It is hard to commit to a system when the brain wants to do the opposite. Winging it. Always. Then chasing the dopamine,moving on to the next stimulating ideas. Rinse. Repeat. It’s insanely frustrating that I can’t be, “My own best friend!” Very difficult to find an ADHD certified therapist, covered by my insurance. My regular therapist, literally has the same awareness and misconceptions the public in general has. Hah! Probably why I stopped seeing him! Not my job to educate him on the complexities and mysteries of the ADHD brain. Cheers mate!Thanks for letting me rant!😜

[@BeUltranormal]

Ha, no worries, half of ADHD is just getting our thoughts out of our mind :) Just remember it's not just ADHD brains that want to wing it, it's everyone's. And they "wing it" in the way that they just want to go to the way that they're used to. It's kinda like if you've eaten chocolate all your life, then someone is like "hey vegetables are more beneficial", your brain will reject it for comfort for a while until you train it otherwise. It's not easy, but neither is the alternative. As I always say, we have to choose our hard! :)

[@bullboywins]

This is misleading, if you fundamentally have working memory issues like most adhd'ers do, then even if you use all these frameworks, they can only help you with structuring experience recall, they can't help you with communicating in real time with discussions because once you start changing the variables within that framework it'll more than likely collapse except you're working from some sort of external system like a note or something.

[@BeUltranormal]

Thanks for the comment! If I'm understanding you correctly, then you're suggesting that frameworks are unable to work because our working memory challenges means that we would always require an external prompt in order to work? If so, then I disagree. Ultimately our brains still work in the same way as others, we simply have less "RAM" slots than other people, so we're still able to learn and develop skills through repetition and practice. This is why people with ADHD can still drive cars and pass a driving test despite not having any external prompts to help them remember what to do in the moment. In fact, both myself and my members have had success with learning and speaking in frameworks. It's simply practice and repetition, will an external prompt help with that? Sure! But practicing will mean you won't need it in the moment. There's often a misconception that people will ADHD cannot build habits, so perhaps that's where your comment is coming from? So, yes, it is more effort upfront, but I disagree that it's misleading. In fact, if you look around at framework communication videos/blogs etc... you can see many many scores of ADHDers who have had plenty of positive experiences with it.

[@bullboywins]

@@BeUltranormal First, I'm just realising the comment might have come across as rude and dismissive, so my apologies for that, the video is quite informative, the title and wordings just made me think I was getting something more than this. That said, I'm saying the frameworks are not the solution for real-time discussion processing and communication speed. Like I said - it works for static stuff that you memorize(practice) and need to remember in a structured format including driving, you don't really need to change key variables when driving. It could work for interviews, presentations e.t.c like you mentioned for instance where there are a number of things you memorize and can then practice and recall them with that framework, but it's not going to work in fast-paced corporate work where you need to communicate in real-time with variables changing and moving during your conversations. That's my point and what I thought the video was going to address for me.

[@flor.7797]

Oh dear, why do none of these frameworks ever seem to work for me? 🦌

[@BeUltranormal]

Great question! It's never just *what* you do, it's also *how* you do it. Something I encourage my clients to do is ask questions such as "how can I make these work better?" and then it opens up a different line of thinking. Frameworks are only ever a guide, but they need to be practiced and worked on in order for them to become your default. Our brains are neuroplastic, so the more we repeat an action, the stronger the neurons for that action. So, repetition and challenge are the key! There are never any shortcuts, but there are powerful tools if you're willing to master them. :)