Thinking about Shomer Negiah?

Here is some advice on some ideas one should internalize before taking on this aspect of Judaism.
Check out andreagrinberg.com for more!

[@rivkamalka1]

Hadassa just sat me down and showed me your channel. I'm breathless - speechless. Gorgeous! You have so much to offer. This video was perfect; clear, filled with understanding, grace and encouragment. I'll be sharing it with my friends.

[@silentautisticdragon-kp9sw]

I converted and became shomer negiah so it was definitely a bit hard to get the women I knew to stop touching me, especially those in my extended family. Your points are spot on! Hugging my mom and sis are very special to me now and I value this closeness with them so much more than before I went shomer negiah. I also love it because it reminds me every day of the presence of G-d in my life, every time I reject a handshake/hug/whatever and maintain my distance, because its something I do every day. Can't touch this

[@andreagrinberg]

I always thought that non-orthodox Jews (conservative/reform) are generally able to pick whatever mitzvot they feel most connected to. Since hair covering and shomer negiah are some of the more "difficult" mitzvot, non-orthodox communities generally don't do them, so it may just be an issue of the fact that other people don't do it, not that you "shouldn't" do it. You are not wrong in any way. You are a Jew, keeping mitzvot that you feel connected to. That is admirable and amazing! :)

[@saraheliana1190]

YES! Great truths spoken here - touch is communication! And honestly, I do not want to communicate the same thing to every man. I am grateful you made this video, yasher koach. It made me want to be shomer negiah, even though I am not Orthodox. I just don't feel comfortable giving high fives or handshakes or hugs to men, to be honest. :)

[@andreaherzog7149]

It's so beautiful that you have developed this sensitivity. I took on this concept before becoming "orthodox" so it's definitely something that can enhance one's life, regardless of your religious "label" :)

[@aviezerscop401]

So, I'm an Orthodox Jewish girl... And being shomer is actually very hard for me, cuz all my friends are very friendly and I have to actually move away from them and ask them to please not touch me. (I forgot to mention that my nisayon is toavas mitzrayim, if that makes more sense) I'm just so sick of having to tell everyone that "I don't do that." It's really hard, because people forget, and there will always be new people I have to ask to not do that. I'm always on the sidelines, because I'm going to bump into so many people if I mingle with my classmates. We have a kumzitz every month, and I can't put my arms around my friends and sway and feel the achdus because that's probably not what I'd be feeling. The school hallways are so tight that it's like I'm playing Lode Runner. Touch anyone else, and you're out. And people treat being shomer so flippantly, like it's no big deal, but it really is! Yes, it makes a difference if you wear perfume. Yes, it makes a difference if your shirt or skirt is tight. And yes, how you walk, how you talk, how you act, it really makes a difference. And so many girls act like it's okay, but it's not! It's forbidden by the Torah. Don't they CARE? And people say being shomer is hard? Try not being able to touch anyone but your immediate family. Ever. Yeah, I'm sorry for the rant. Have a good Shabbos.

[@elzy6998]

WOW! WOW WOW. You really have a talent in portraying thoughts, blu ayin hara. Very inspitational!

[@wsearp]

Touch to me is intimacy.... I am not a toucher or huger except for close family>>> While I may shake hands with another man, I do not touch a woman unless she initiates it.... It's not that I don't like or love people, I just don't want to communicate the wrong thing, and that has happened many times.... I save my affection for those who I love and who understand my touch is communicating my love and caring for them.... I have no resistance however to anyone who reaches out to me with their touch.... with them I feel it is safe to do so....

[@BrutalistCanoodlist]

I've noticed that you often employ the term "A.K.A." in instances where you really mean to say "e.g." AKA is "also known as"; e.g. is "for example". So when you said something like "the one you want to touch, aka your spouse"; the one one wants to touch is not always one's spouse. It could be one's child. So in your case you really meant to say, "...for example, your spouse".

[@andreagrinberg]

Thank you for pointing that out! I will keep an eye on that. In terms of the kind of touch I am referring to in the example you pointed out, it is "aka" because the only person that you want to touch is your spouse. Regardless, you bring up a good point and I appreciate it :)

[@cynthiarobindyer1450]

I am also trying this shomer negiah...my cousin is a rabbi he does not touch anyone or let them touch him. People dont get it since the world thinks its all ok.idont want to hug or shake hands with just snyone. My husband and family ...but people reach out and are very forward. So I have to tell them I dont hug or touch...its my beliefs

[@KrystalMoniique]

Hello:) I would love hear about your conversion. I have enjoyed watching your videos, thanks:)

[@radiohd04]

Nice work, kido.

[@Xaforn]

I am the same way, it makes me very uncomfortable to hug a man I don't know or even at times shake their hand. I'm not a hugger to begin with so remembering to hug family is hard a times. If someone goes to hug me, if they are not family I just stick out my hand. I try to be very nice and polite about it, and I think dressing modestly in a way explains my actions as well. Love the videos!

[@rosey4exclaim]

I didn't know that this was an aspect in Judaism. I know that when I was a fundamentalist Christian (I'm a Pagan now) I did shake hands, but I didn't touch men in any other way (except for close family). I think the only exception I made was when a group of us would hold hands for prayer (a very Christian thing). I also made sure I never found myself alone in a room with a man. So yeah, I totally understand, and it's good information to have in case I ever interact with an Orthodox Jewish man.

[@ayelet613]

very nice. :)

[@Canahoney]

I not a orthodox Jew but i have a ques am tion i wear a hair covering and i get told all the time that a women in my position should not b doing this i am a married jewish woman am i wrong and i thought about practicing the no touching aspect as well . My marriage and God are the two most important things to me keeping my hair cover has already enhanced both.... Any idea y i am being told im wrong

[@aviezerscop401]

Well, if you're Reform, they say to do the mitzvos you feel connected to. So you feel connected to this, go ahead. And Conservative believes in Torah Shebichsav, I think. So, you're just wearing yet another article of clothing. Besides, you don't need to explain yourself to others.

[@tamponderosa6119]

My only question is what do you do when someone really needs a hug? I would worry some of this mentality is self obsessed. Some people don’t get hugs unless they’re given, and compassion doesn’t tarnish you. I hug my husband WAY different than friends. Touch is powerful because it’s our own act of emotional transference. It’s not your responsibility to worry about how it’s received. Just an opinion from an atheist.

[@angelaoldland3388]

How does this work with homosexuals? I'm not asking to be offensive, I am trying to understand.

[@mockduckcompanion]

Why would it be any different?

[@aviezerscop401]

So, it's not any different whatsoever, sadly. Read Eye of the Storm (beginning on page 128) , it's a Jewish halacha sefer which elaborates on this. Vayikra 18:22- You shall not lie with a man as one does with a woman, it is an abomination. Kiddushin 29a- In respect to all negative commandments, whether time causes them or time does not cause them, both men and women are obligated, except for the prohibition against shaving one's beard and the prohibition against shaving the peyos. Ramban quotes Kiddushin 29a in his commentary on Vayikra 18:22, indicating that he believes the prohibition against Toavas Mitzrayim is included in the prohibition of V'al Zachar. www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/960669/jewish/Issurei-Biah-Chapter-Twenty-One.htm Isurei Biah Chapter 21 goes over what is not cohabitation but is nonetheless forbidden. It would appear according to these meforshim that a male or female who is attracted to the same sex must be shomer with them as well as the opposite gender. Please note that this is not a halachic psak, I'm just a 15 year old girl who has researched the topic. Please consult a Rav if this is a personal matter, and for advice as to going about it. Have a great Shabbos and Pesach.

[@BlimiRose]

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