This Air Force Veteran Uses VR to Treat Her PTSD

[@blackrelicrabbit]

Firstly, she was really brave and I thank her for being able to speak up on it. I am also a disabled combat veteran with PTSD, though it seems for different reasons. I really appreciate her interview because it made me realize some things about my own struggles that I'm going to pay more attention to. I have a lot of words that come to mind but too much to write, so I'll just say thank you and wish her the best.

[@finalminer1425]

I say this to every veteran I meet, or see, thank you for your service, I hope you either have the help you need or get the help you need, soldiers do things no citizen could ever do, you and other veterans made sacrifices I will never know, so thank you

[@aaronlopez5163]

You all made sacrifices to yourselves or others that normal people could nit and you took the consequences of it head on and without regret. For that you are some of the wisest people anyone could ever learn from and any help you need, you can draw from our hopes and dreams to strengthen you soul. We all wish you rest that you deserve and hopefully you can find happiness knowing you fight your own demons in the darkness to give us knowledge and wisdom when you return to our light. Thank you for your service soldier and we all hope that you don’t continue straining yourself if it ends up becoming your death. There is freedom in life There is purpose in death The force is all things and i am the force. Remember these words when you feel too stressed to act.

[@blackholechan1770]

*Salute*

[@who-_-Cares]

People say to me that ptsd is ptsd and we are all in together, be it from trauma and torture or combat and life or death situations.

[@philb4682]

@@finalminer1425Hoah sir ❤

[@acarajechorao6419]

It's really rare to see a woman talking about ptsd generated by her experience in the military. I feel like most of the time they are afraid of people who are inclined to say that they only feel pain because they are supposed to be more empathetic and fragile; kinda trying to invalidate their trauma by puting the fault on their gender or even their sex. At least for my aunt it is this way, she feels the need to pretend everything is fine and that she actually doesn't have feelings at all. It also happens with women in the military, not only men are afraid to show their emotions, so I'm really grateful for her and you, azeal, who gave her this opportunity to share her experience. I hope she's doing fine. Much love from Brazil to you guys❤🇧🇷

[@RenetaScian]

The military also tells you to suck it up, and power through. There is definitely a culture of "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps", without realizing the irony... That the phrase was made up to describe something which is impossible to do.

[@savvythedivineyethuggable7493]

Of course this has to somehow turn into sexism or a misogyny issue.

[@Cocoagraft_33]

​@@savvythedivineyethuggable7493 That's how a lot of problems start, but I do think it sucks.

[@WintGov]

@@RenetaScian it’s army bro

[@RenetaScian]

@@WintGov Armed forces in general are like this. Though, Army and Marines are EXTRA bad, or were a decade ago.

[@Beelzebubby91]

I can’t believe it took the doctors that long to figure out she had PTSD. That is ridiculous… Jesus I can relate to how they treated you.

[@mq5731]

To be fair, the doctors are overburdened, overworked, and can only learn from personal experience. That's why IBM came up with the idea for Watson. A computer doctor can access every single drug that might be relevant to treat a patient while simultaneously looking at a spreadsheet of previous cases to help come up with a diagnosis. I know Watson is being used to treat cancer patients right now, but seriously. VA could probably do with some of that technology.

[@enriqueperezarce5485]

@@mq5731 This right here my mom is a friends with almost all the doctors in town and their always overworked and tired

[@jrny8922]

The same thing happened to me with my doctor two years ago diagnosising my ptsd with her was annoying I felt like I was at the VA as a civilian it took me months to get meds I had multiple health problems the first two weeks after my accident. I had what I think was a heart attack but I'm not sure seemed like it tho I had a stroke the had me in the hospital again which didn't help my ptsd at all sense it stems from that.(sorry if this looks like run on sentence😅)

[@Beelzebubby91]

@@jrny8922 Mental health care is in the toilet. Even in Canada it takes years to get on a wait list just to see a psychiatrist or psychologist when you’re a suicidal child. So if you even make it to the appointment without killing yourself, then you still have years to go from there with waiting for counselling, an inpatient program, trying different medications etc.

[@tubalord3693]

Some doctors don’t believe in PTSD sadly doctors aren’t infallible For example I have a friend who hurt her self when running so she met with a doctor of course but the doctor told her that woman were biologically incapable of running without destroying their body and she should never run again because of that and she believes him completely until she made a off comment of a woman on a treadmill one day to me that complained caught me off guard and it took me hours to explain to her way that was false it’s always a good idea to get a second opinion if something seems off

[@thin.chungus5554]

Babe wake up Azeal uploaded

[@Azeal]

yuhh

[@fermy7419]

VR is such a useful tool that has so much potential. I'm glad she was able to find and use it to help get through things.

[@Homer890]

So this is interesting to hear. In my experience drone operators are enlisted soldiers not officers. Maybe a difference between branches? Idk, the army uses enlisted personnel for maintenance and operation of drones, officers or warrant officers will fly helicopters. Drone operators I got to interact with mostly had a darker take on life and such to deal with the job they had. Most deceived it as playing a video game with real consequences. I’ve got to applaud her for talking about all this and I’ve got to say most of what she is saying is true with the VA. I’m dealing with all types of problems with them since I got out.

[@RenetaScian]

Joint service places tend to be Air Force officer operators for most things. Also Warrant Officers are the best officers to work with, imo.

[@Homer890]

@@RenetaScian definitely I was aviation loved working with the WO pilots

[@Tayd0g]

Due to the way recruits apply to boards all pilots, including rpa pilots (drones) in the air force are officers. Though I have heard of rare instances based on academic performance but idk if they actually fly.

[@Densoro]

I relate to her so much. My CPTSD started with a variety of domestic violence scenarios. By age 6, I was already having hallucinations, or completely mentally checking out of my body while my body fought my bullies at school. By high school, that had escalated to stress-induced seizures. I spent my childhood begging for some sort of professional help. Now, at 31, I'm stuck at home after the seizures knocked me out of my warehouse job -- but I'm finally getting specialized help. Danielle gives me hope that I can get back to the energy and activity levels I lost when my condition worsened.

[@BIGMACISHIM]

Ah yes, just what i needed. I'm sick of seeing a bunch of people screaming at their tv's because their favorite team lost :/

[@sleebyrose]

Fr, my dads doing this, i think hes gonna hurt someone.

[@toasty6986]

My dads screaming because of the opposite. At least he hasn’t gotten violent.

[@jasonxd9880]

what final is it? literally from brazil and idk what is happening

[@toasty6986]

@@jasonxd9880 first football games of the season 💀

[@jasonxd9880]

@@toasty6986 ah, sad

[@sunnex474]

that fact that I clicked on this when it had 911 views is one of the biggest coincidences in my life

[@camelthegamer7165]

Bad day for you too, huh?

[@RenetaScian]

Thank you for all your good work your doing. I'm sure you get tonnes of praise in general, but I absolutely appreciate it. For this subject... The biggest thing I know about PTSD, is it is difficult in the Nth to feel like you're alone in it. I feel that applies to so many other things. I feel that is where what you're doing here helps the most.

[@Azeal]

Hey! I'm pretty sure you're the one in the video... if you are can you dm me on discord? I've lost your tag. Sorry if this is the wrong person :b

[@privaterose5021]

Shoutout to you, fellow veteran. Never feel alone, and if you ever want to talk shop or bullshit around with a fellow veteran feel free to reach out. We're all one family, and relying on the gov or VA to help us is just vain hope. Side question: VR helped you, any tips on what VR headset to start with or what games to try first for those of us who may try your method?

[@LiteraryCurtastrophe]

I don't want to bother you if you are or aren't the person in the video, but I have ADHD and PTSD and some others... Have you tried EMDR? If not, I'd highly recommend it. Also, using vibration, not lights. For me, I held vibrating nodes in my hands, and it kept me focused on what I was doing, so I couldn't dissociate, but it didn't make me so focused that I'd hyperfocus/freak out. Anyway... I hope you're doing well, whether you're the person in the video or not

[@ghostdog0424]

Thank you for sharing your story. I think it’s great hearing how VR helped you get to a better place.

[@stubbstcg9682]

Coming from a small town and family with a bunch of vets who either dealt with excessive drinking, pills, warped senses of humor, anger, etc, or all of the above, really feel for her. Have my own slew of problems, but seeing people that deal with something like this and the ways they do, really makes me feel for them. Country has treated vets like absolute shit for years, and I hope we can get to a state where we can get vets the treatment they truly deserve.

[@lynxgamerlife]

Yeah, even just as a person who has only an uncle as a vet they don’t give him any real medical care. They pretty much give over some pills or narcotics if that and throw him out of the office. It’s stupid and horrible.

[@themerpking8445]

You can see how the hyper alertness is affecting them even in vr, even when they clarify things

[@treywingo7817]

I've never wanted to give someone a hug so bad

[@Firebringer121]

So this might spund weirdl, but I actually had a lot of empathy with this veteran, despite not being a veteran or seeing anything close to combat. I've dealt with hyper vigilance, constant anxiety, and just a lot of what she was describing, and she did a really good job conveying it!

[@WDC-TacPotato]

Yo azeal man i honestly wanna give her a hug and tell her, she is an amazing person for pushing through the ptsd pain and still striving to be human as the rest of us. Much love Danielle.

[@demanrunner847]

There's a saying that may or may not go around often "A part of me returned home, while another part of me is still back there"

[@Azeal]

Thanks for watching! You can submit your own story to be in a video here: azeal.me/submit If you like my little orange-haired avatar, you can pre-order the plushie here: azeal.me/plushie And you can support the channel by joining the Patreon and joining the discord server: azeal.me/patreon

[@Claymann71]

... not sure where to put this Azeal. Maybe you can forward it to them? ... Lucid Dreaming helped /helps a lot with my mental baggage. Meditate. Clear your mind of all thoughts & feelings. Only breathing & the rush of your blood from your heart in your mind. My Chant Word is SMO. Just s-m-o. Thousands of times until it becomes meaningless. Keep a dream journal. Anytime you dream, write as many details as possible before you forget. It took me 6+ months of constant trying to get Good at it. While waiting to fall asleep, picture a dark void of infinite space. Put a white glass box room in there. I picture a comfy chair & a light bulb on a chain above me. The light is red. The color doesn't matter. Whatever works. I think about the kind of world I want to create. Eventually, you will feel 'close' to unconscious sleep & the light will change color. Mine goes from Red to Green. Could be any color. The important part is you notice & focus on that color change as it will signal the upcoming transition from awake to meditative conscious rem sleep. In dreams, there is a lot of variations but generally, walls will be devoid of decorations. No pictures or artwork or light switches or anything detailed. When I notice my Light go from Red to Green I imagine a large red button or cartoon sized leaver on the wall. Once I activate it, the construct begins. A few things to remember: all aspects you create are extentions of your mind. People may behave like you or how you think they'd behave. They may have your voice or a different voice & act differently then they would IRL. When you get good enough, you can simply wake-up in a dream by thinking PAUSE & then imagining a control button or leaver nearby. Once that happens, you take control of the mental construct. No more nightmares. You can use it to facilitate mental therapy or express emotions that are too raw for reality. Never use it to express Negative emotions. (Don't use mental constructs as a 'punching bag' for anger or malice)

[@Claymann71]

Like a curse, what ever duration the negative emotion lasts for (a week, month, year) will return for twice as long. I've seen some twisted things morph from construct to nightmare. I've only been unable to control a dream twice in 12 years but I'm pretty sure the 1st was a Wandering Dream Demon & the 2nd time I had released a negative construct & it mutated beyond control so I just forcefully woke up by choice instead. . The best description I ever heard for Night Terrors & PTSD symptoms that last for days/weeks/months is 'it feels like something terrible & unstoppable is hunting you, & if it find you, you WILL DIE.' It's not rational. It's nearly irrational fear & having a Night Terror / Panic Attack in your dreams is... it feels like 'wanting to have a heart attack just so you can stop the racing thoughts & chest-pain'. It can be that intense. You keep waiting for a knockout that never comes but you keep waiting for it to land anyway.

[@TheAnonyomusGuy]

Would you consider interviewing Ironmouse?

[@MrStrepsilz]

Hey Azeal, I love your videos! Before I write my own story, would you be interested in a story about someone growing up with autism in a place where nobody understands you?

[@Drew-v2f]

You are a strong woman and one who can help out others. Keep finding other passions to your peace. Don't be afraid to get actual coaching. I hope you get this message there is hope for you and everyone else in the world. God is with you

[@tinybasketbun]

I don't think I've ever related to someone so much in my life. Thank you for making these videos and thank you to her for sharing her story and her struggles.

[@Azeal]

[@El_chara]

if you relate to this story I'm sorry for you

[@pinnacleofcomedy6306]

I'm not an army veteran but i do have PTSD. Listening to people talk about stuff like this on this channel really feels healing. Getting someone else's pov on this helps understand some things about myself better or just in a different way. Thanks for being here. ❤

[@GooshMasterG]

10/10. Thanks for the great content over the past year!

[@Azeal]

💜

[@Hwelhos]

for some reason my brain focused everything it has on the branch behind the bench lmao, gotta watch it again now :p

[@Azeal]

Oh no, more watch time for meeee >:)

[@RenetaScian]

I noticed it too, and now I'm going to fixate on that. Thanks. HAHA

[@mesasapoop]

so many of these stories help me living with so many different conditions and the abuse i been through since i was from before i was even five years old, these videos help me

[@Broadshore]

I been there... I know how she fells.. PTSD is tough. It's very tough and a battle that many of us go though. Thank you for your service! Oor Rah and keep going. We are all here to help as best we can.

[@ajakks6551]

As someone who has ingested *ALOT* of Metal Gear lore, that part about how the soldiers were treating other human beings deaths in the field of war like a video game and laughing at it hit me like a truck with the irony of it.

[@justsomeguywithamustach]

Ive been waiting for this since the live stream and thank you azeal for letting people tell their stories

[@flextapeadhesive]

Azeal, you have earned hundreds of peopels respect, and for that you're my hero. Godspeed Azeal.

[@leoultimaupgraded9914]

This person is so incredibly brave to come on here and talk about her life, and I can relate to some of her issues, like intrusive thoughts and anxiety (though I am not a war veteran myself, just wanted to clarify that). I’m glad she was able to find peace, and I strive to be as brave as she is.

[@xFaerieBonesx]

It’s so weird to me for some reason hearing a familiar medicine because I only remember the names of the ones I take and Wellbutrin was one of the first medications I was put on when I was diagnosed with PTSD at a very young age. I admire her so much for speaking up about her struggles because I know so many people who relate to her including myself. We all appreciate her bravery and willingness to inform people about the struggles of having mental illnesses! I’m not a veteran because I’ve been on antipsychotics since I was about 12 and they wouldn’t allow me to take my pills if I joined but I still know and understand the feelings she’s describing all too well. I hope everything just goes up from here for her.

[@LaurenSchraderMusic]

I’ve been off of painkillers for over a year now - moving to a state with medical cannabis is what allowed it. Coming off of opiates after 8 years put me through the worst pain I have ever felt in my life, but after the withdrawals passed I started feeling way better, and I’ve got way less brain fog. Definitely feel the PTSD nightmare stuff too. I have woken my wife up way too many times freaking out from a nightmare. Sometimes waking up from it, sometimes not. Awesome hearing her story.

[@rosylagoon3600]

I think this really highlights the difference between the emotional awareness and empathy between men and women.

[@Azeal]

Men are taught to be hardened, emotionless machines, ESPECIALLY in the military. Nurture, not nature.

[@delsinhays6421]

@@Azeal Sometimes, for some of us, its in our nature to be that way till we cant function. We break down, get back up, and keep going

[@random_youtuber8095]

I believe that all genders are capable of having high levels of emotional awareness and empathy, it’s just that in this society men are told they need to be more emotionless and be strong, and they end up shutting it down. Women though are more allowed to express their emotions and allowed to be empathic. In this video though she talks about military times and they train people to be orderly & be able to kill others. You have to learn to not have empathy or sympathy when doing so.

[@hollowman9410]

Explain?

[@RenetaScian]

​ @Hollow Man Military Training has a propensity to glorify war, and dehumanize the targets of military aggression. They train you to follow orders, to see the war or cause as ultimately just, and there is a lot conditioned rationalization of that violence built into it. Though, that said, I've known EMT folks who didn't start having PTSD issues on a severe scale AFTER they quit that job. And yeah, all genders are capable of empathy to more or less the same level, but conditioning can definitely affect it. That said, I had this anecdote the other day where I realized that a lot of traits associated with Femininity looked eerily like Neurodiverse Conditions, (ASD, OCD, ADHD).

[@JeeBayYT]

Had night terror once. I agree this shit hits hard asf even the most normal thing would just scare you dead. mine was a skull with parts of flesh on it and eyeballs just staring at me then jump to just bite my face off (ended up screaming nobody woke up thankfully, but half an hour later it was ok, couldn't sleep tho).

[@notdisplayed2617]

Vrc player and USN. Even though I haven't been in any combat, I encourage others to try it out. It helps me be more social, less anxious and angry and defensive. I've seen a lot of my coworkers get beaten down by the stress and isolation and hope that the world is nicer to them as they get out.

[@Djrealfake]

I want the both of you to know just the first two minutes of this video have shown me something about myself I've needed explained for a long time. I thank you for what you are doing I haven't been able to go outside for more then a few minutes at a time without smoking a joint first for a while now and even if I do want to something my body always fights me on it. I figured I was just a broken, lazy person, without even wanting the be lazy. Hearing how she describes her anxiety filled in the box for me. The "family" and place I come from was and is rough so I have actually never heard what the signs of anxiety are as no one around me can afford to go to a shrink just for feeling bad. No people would just say get back to work, no time for feeling here. Its a sad way to live. Anyways thank you again.

[@who-_-Cares]

Getting rid of my vr headset was one of the worst decisions of my life... it helped me so much, i miss it a lot. I grew up being tortured, physically and mentally. VR helped with the ptsd more than anythjng else ever did. Made me smile in times where i wouldn't have smiled for weeks. I hope her ptsd is softened by this as much as it did for me!

[@finalminer1425]

Thank you azeal making content I actually enjoy, it gives me something to listen to while I’m playing games or driving, your ability to spread the voice of the voiceless is amazing, you do good work. So thank you

[@ghostlywildcard246]

These stories/videos not only educate me on different people but it also helps know what to or not to do to keep up with my own physical and mental well being. I often struggle with stress and depression, and my dad with PTSD and I'm only noting from the video that he might have that hyper vigilance on top of it, my mom's lost her memory before on top of what's still a reoccurring sickness whenever she overtaxes her body. WIth all the different things affecting people's lives I think it's important to try to learn about it in the case you meet someone who suffers from any illness, disability or trauma

[@deepfriedicecream576]

gaming in general has helped healed my ptsd. i can relate to what shes saying, both of our illnesses are service connected, and we both used the military as a refugee camp for kids with broken homes and no direction. sad to hear that my life experiences are not uncommon, and my pain is shared with many

[@Theminecraftian772]

That's insane. I feel bad for all the veterans that have to deal with the VA like this. Not just because they were overburdened with the pandemic, but even before that, her doctors knew, and made note that she had, or likely had PTSD, and they didn't do anything for it!! I'm can't say much about the VA themselves, I don't know their work load or capacity, but the entire system for veteran support needs to be revamped. A very touching story, and I'm glad that VR can be the place to escape that people need.

[@hungrymusicwolf]

I have never had my old symptoms described quite as succinctly as in this video. Pain everywhere in the body, unable to move, nightmares, complete lack of emotional bandwidth (never even thought of describing it that way but it fits perfectly), permanent vigilance, lack of sleep, and eventually the complete breakdown of being able to do much of anything at all. Listening to their story I am so glad I always refused medication. I would not have recovered as much as I have had I gotten / been put on medication. It still took me 10 years to put a dent in my symptoms and then 3 more to really start getting back to the point of slowly returning to being a functional member of society again.

[@Allplussomeminus]

Such a satisfying victory. It's rising-from-the-ashes stories like this that are very inspiring.

[@mattr.9167]

I’m very happy for this person’s recovery.

[@joshuatimothy2966]

Love the dark setting of this vid bro Keep it up

[@PuppetToTheSound]

Thank you for taking this interview - my story is pretty similar to Danielle's in how my CPTSD affects me and what my experience has been with the Medical industry in the US - although I have no military background. Hearing it from an outside, but similar, perspective helped give me some unexpected solace concerning my own struggles right now So yeah, thank you for taking the time to respectfully learn/hear/share this experience with the World ☮💟☯

[@NobodyDungeons]

So, one thing I grappled with for a long time, and still grapple with is the emotional suppression caused by autism. I don’t think a lot of people realize how important emotions are to our mental well-being, and one of the things I had developed at a very young age was a bubbly, excitable, and happy go lucky personality as a coping mechanism because I didn’t know how to act or react to things but smiles were almost always acceptable so that was my default. I didn’t even notice the emotional suppression I had till high school where I started getting my other symptoms under control. It is something that gives me constant issues because your brain just works differently, and you need to compensate a lot for it.

[@gothsinn23]

I've been on both Effexor and Wellbutrin for years now. Been slowly weaning off Effexor because if how much I was dissociating and having brain fog while on it. When I was diagnosed with ADHD Inattentive Type and ASD, Wellbutrin was the only thing that helped. It was honestly a godsend. It kept my anxiety and panic disorders in check, improved my mood, allowed me to finally actually feel present in the moment (though I'm not back to 100%, but it's still a visible change), and I'm slowly getting back the ability to focus and complete my college coursework on time. Not to mention, I've started getting back into hobbies again when I'd spent years just floating through life without really living it. I'll probably end up on another stimulant like Adderall before I can actually fully function, but, it's so amazing to see other success stories for Wellbutrin. I'm happy to see how much it's done for you, and I hope it continues to help you thrive. You are so incredibly strong. Wishing you all the best! ❤

[@C-SD]

To do that kind of job you often have to compartmentalize your emotions, and its not good for anyone. I'm sorry things are so tough, but I'm glad you are getting help. I absolutely suggest "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk. On its own it won't do everything, but made a huge difference for me and a lot of other's trying to recover.

[@Sphynx-bi7eg]

Hey man I love the videos and I love to listen to them in the background. Idk if you've already done this, but if not I think these videos would do really well in a podcast form. That way you could also have a wider audience through spotify and apple podcast. just a thought. Keep up the great vids :)

[@scoobydew2216]

Thank you for telling your story! While my situation wasn't the same (I didn't serve in the military, which is definitely a good thing for me) I can sympathize a lot of what you went through, from the hypervigilance to the intrusive thoughts. I've been wanting to get into VR myself to try and overcome what I think is CPTSD, so here's hoping! ^_^

[@markknife1]

Why is it that some medications they give us for our condition, aggravate that condition, but when you complain, they gaslight you about other patients not feeling the same way.

[@El_chara]

to make you think it's working so you don't change therapist and continue to pay them

[@Hwelhos]

oh another vid, nice, amazing to hear

[@johnsatan117]

Back in the 1950s, the US military didn't want people talking about PTSD. It was shunned. Then a WW2 veteran named Audie Murphy started talking about it. He is the most decorated US soldier ever. He was a legend. He was one of the first to openly talk about PTSD. Also, from what I know, my uncle is a vet, and he flew drones. He has PTSD and plays Call of Duty to deal with his PTSD.

[@therollerblock6276]

10:00 I'm ashamed to admit I thought she meant something completely different than what she did.

[@RenetaScian]

If it works, why not? Eyyyo. HAHA

[@kai_alex]

4:35 makes so much sense i have ptsd from 3 separate traumas and i didnt fully process it until after

[@Maceman486]

I wanted to hear more about what the job was but I completely understand if the interviewee didn't want to go into too much detail about it. Keep up the good work on your healing journey!

[@RenetaScian]

Sometimes the information is highly classified, unfortunately. And it is hard to figure out what is and isn't okay. Better to err on the side of caution.

[@williansnobre]

The soldiers that are alright after the horrible things they do, specially the ones dealing with long distance airstrike or drone assualts they kind of avoid the most traumatic parts of the whole thing by distancing themselves from the target, literarilly and figurativelly. They sometimes handle it like a videogame because in a way feels like a game, it is numbers and mechanisms, goals and results. Sure, some of them are probably incapable of empathy but a lot of them are just kept at a distance by the automation of the job or as a way to keep their own sanity.

[@lunamajor9264]

Sucks that VrChat has come to a crash and not as fun anymore, but I hope people who use it to heal mentally can still enjoy it.

[@Lycon721995]

Know a lot of people in the military. A lot of them to this day don't care who they killed or how they did it, only that them and thier friends made it home.

[@Mel-a-knee]

Thank you so much for what you're doing, I love your content and what you're trying to do. I'm trans as well and seeing that some people are actually supportive really helps me remain hopeful in society.

[@clawedmoss9030]

Wonderful story and perspective once again. I hope your life keeps getting better danielle

[@HikiOmo]

I can hear in her voice that she does have a lot of pent up anxiety, I'm hoping she's able to recover.

[@Colemanbentz888]

This has really inspired me to get back into my VR workouts. I also deal with a lot of chronic pain, I've been on opioids for about a year now and I'm really worried that I'm building up a tolerance for it and I'd like to get to the point where it's not needed again. In the summer I'm pretty active, I ride my bike about 3-6 miles 2-3 times a week and I generally feel much better in the summer because of that but I tend to get really depressed, lazy and stop caring for myself during the winter and I've just been feeling really horrible and low energy the past month or so. What she said about the first time she tried beat saber really hit home though, yeah it's going to hurt a lot at first but if she got there, then I can do it too.

[@missmeeper]

I have diagnosed PTSD from being raised in abuse. Seeing another person I feel I can relate to after everything I've gone through causing my brain to change, It's hard for me to relate to anyone and for anyone to relate to me. This helped me. Alot. I've used VR chat for the same reason but I'm not quite to the stage of being able to be around others there yet. I have tried but extreme anxiety sets in and I panic leave. But I'm trying.

[@finalminer1425]

To any currently enlisted soldiers, or retired veterans, thank you for your service, you make sacrifices a citizen who hasn’t enlisted ever will never know, your all very good people, even if we may disagree politically you make this country safe for me to live in, so thank you, I hope you have the proper resources you need

[@philb4682]

Thank u sister in arms for ur service! ❤ ur story helped me 😊

[@aesthesia5023]

This video was so eye opening, thank you so much

[@williamcappello3370]

I know this is late. I got called a pedofile for wanting to join the military in 2 years and my online friend group I was with for 4 years banned me because of me wanting to be in the military and I got called a pedofile for wanting to do it in 2 years. Ironic situation one of the online friend that a girl is dating one of the friends that they know is 10. The girl is 16 and the guy is 10. They dated in June and they say I'm a pedofile smh. I'm happy that they all banned me on discord because I feel a lot more happy.

[@Ethereal-wg9hw]

Starting to become glad that ADHD kept me out of the military. I doubt I could've handled the meat grinder when it clearly had such an effect on all of these people.

[@samuelhaverghast2442]

I'm homeless, which is one of my greatest fears, and if it wasn''t for my VR headset, interacting with friends I made on VRchat, playing games or just having a good time, I wouldn't be here, I would end my life in a heartbeat, I currently live in hotels to stave off the street, but I know its going to eventually happen

[@lycanthis9963]

I'm also quite skeptical of medications, but for me it's a nose condition that we could only chalk up to allergies. Throughout most of middle school and all of high school, I had to be on allergy meds that often times made me very drowsy and sometimes made it hard to function. After high school, while I still have prescribed medication that's recommended for everyday use, I never use it due to the drowsiness it brings, instead just using an over the counter medication whenever I feel it's necessary. I also never use nasal spray, since that's what started the problem, and one spray in particular left such a bad taste on the back of my tongue that I was coughing terribly for the rest of the day and needed multiple peppermints to replace that taste.

[@RenetaScian]

Fair to say that using Pain Medication long term has a lot of unnecessary risks involved. The problem is that so many people lack access to the healthcare that would allow that to be a temporary fix for what they go through. Pain medication is good for short term injurious things, but not so great at long term outcomes.

[@HandsFreeProductions]

So, she's trying not to be specific but it's pretty clear that she was working army intelligence, likely for identification and tracking of potential HVTs or possibly OSINT. I know some people that do this work, and it is a grim fucking job. When you're spending your day sorting through the lives of some of the most disgusting people on the planet, it absolutely gets to you. I do civilian OSINT, and even doing this work regarding gang members or sexual abusers puts me in a bad place, every damn time.

[@IAmCaezar]

A lot of this I can relate too I usually just try to live with it but hearing someone talk about it all when it is almost the same I'm going through and sounds like they are doing better makes me want to try again, I have a VR head set and always want to go on vr chat so I don't feel like I live under a rock as much as I do.

[@jacobpugpoirier3350]

2:16 literally me rn. It's 1:00am I could sleep, and I am tired, but I'm constantly worried about what's behind me. O_O

[@jacobpugpoirier3350]

2:30 ME ME ME ME, that's ME! Right... Now!

[@startjumpmodernize3954]

Heightened awareness sucks. I have sleep issues because of it and I work 3rd shift to prevent dealing with stimuli that mess with me like 500 people around me

[@feoleb]

Thanks for sharing. I had ptsd. I would start to shake and panic and cry when I would think about certain things. And it was triggered by being nervous. Like if I got nervous about something, like taking a test, I would go into the panic attacks. Even though the test was fine but I was guess I was so senstive because of the emotional trauma. But it's gotten better over the years. Hope it gets easier for you too. Also, I've been taking low dose naltrexone for chronic pain and it seems to be helping. And it doesn't have so much of a downside like opiates or benzos. If I stop taking it it's not a big deal. It's much easier than stopping caffeine, that's for sure :p Not many doctors are familiar with low dose naltrexone though. I have cervical issues in my neck, and joint issues all over my body. Just saying if u need something more regular than nsaids. And I hate mental health meds god...they all fuck me up so much. Like ssri's or tricyclic. Bleh. I can't take those.

[@DraDraska]

Amazing story, thank you ❤️

[@darc22005]

The amount of physical pain she went through, I wish you didnt have to. Im on opioids (tramadol like you were) and muscle relaxers for my Psoratic arthritis and my fibromyalgia. yeah that stuffs pretty damn strong. its not as much as vicodin but its a pretty strong opioid. I understand that kinda pain just makes everything miserable and depressing. and on top of that you had PTSD. Im sorry to hear you suffered like you did. but I thank you for sharing

[@mistertibbs472]

Great video. Also I gotta say you really gotta think about making a full song of your outro.

[@the300rulers7]

Your videos show that vr is a really good place but as people should also know that it is hell because of rude people and hackers but the people who want to have fun and are nice even that out

[@unknown20005]

in a way it’s cool that girl’s are becoming increasingly accepted into the army but then you realize that they will come out changed different and suffering from ptsd and then you will not be so happy

[@justincider1528]

i get the hermit thing, if i didnt ruin my friendships i'd still have my vr but i just cant get into anything anymore. PTSD is a Biotch

[@nicholasbrocker3673]

Sadly the military goes for the people that know that can kill and not really be that affected by it because we need people to do those horrible acts of seeing a dead body and doing the stuff that you were talking about and not really batting an eye to it when it’s the bad guys

[@ButterFromDiscord]

She has like a very subtle Scottish/Irish accent or smn

[@D3M3G0D]

i think the reason some of the guys didn't really seem to feel anything when they saw people die is probably due to just being desensitized like i used to see live leak videos all the time so seeing anything that isn't super high quality on a camera probably from a distance wouldn't mess with me as much as seeing it in person

[@InvisibleGenXGorl]

I really want to speak to you after Im able to get into VRChat. Waiting on getting my Occulus. What youve gone thru and some of what Ive gone thru are so similar. I dont deal w the outside world any longer & I used to be on the go and very social. Now Im by myself almost 24/7 . Insomnia is horrible for me. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Depression & PTSD

[@Sorrowdusk]

@7:54 *It's crazy dudes* but IIRC - I dunno if it was Last of Us or sometin else but STAFF /artists got PTSD just from being MADE to watch vid/photo of actual death 💀/crime scenes as "research" to make the gore realistic.

[@Sorrowdusk]

ALSO: the game was Medal of Honor BUT only because the game let you play AS Taliban. 🎮🤔

[@Sorrowdusk]

I don't know if it's on Reddit no more. Probably banned now. BUT there used to be subreddits where they would post photos of crime scenes. There were photographers leaking them. So like a dude's face gets flayed 🧏‍♂️ because he assaulted some cartel guys woman and the guys show it off nex to his body. A suitcase 🧳of bones 🦴💀 in a dingy ass house. And all kinds of stuff . That stuff on other places too . REALIZE there are people who WATCH 👀that shit and just go "duuuuude! Dats bruuutaaal! 😆" and are just entertained.

[@RenetaScian]

There is also people who worked at the moderation team at Facebook who went through similar. They would have to pull down people spamming images of hate crimes and animals being abused, and ended up with debilitating cPTSD doing that for a few years.

[@RenetaScian]

@@Sorrowdusk Also, thank you. HAHA I couldn't remember what it was.

[@haydenrobbie7368]

i don't know if this'll help anyone here, but apparently shouting/yelling the word stop can well stop your current trail of thought and let you redirect it to something else... i don't know if it works for severe cases of PTSD but can help to stop most intrusive thoughts... once again it doesn't seem to have a 100% rate of effect, but rather a 50%-75% rate to stop it... some studies i've read say that you can shout/yell it in your head, but the best and most consistent results come from when you shout/yell out loud...

[@samwindlove6844]

I'll be trying this, thanks!

[@haydenrobbie7368]

@@samwindlove6844 no is also meant to be a close second... but remember, it can be a bit uncomftable to do it in public...

[@Beelzebubby91]

I don’t have PTSD or any military experience but holy shit I can relate to mental illness causing physical issues and the doctors just giving you piles of meds cause they don’t know what to do! I have two chronic illnesses now and they affect everything that she talked about and I never feel like anyone understands what I go through because I look young and healthy, but she just gets it. ;( I wish VR was enough to help me, but my cat has also been my lifeline. Working out was my way to cope with my mental illnesses originally and then when I developed the physical illness and started to decline, I was crushed and still am. I am just suffering and no one can help. I just keep getting fed pills but the frikkin doctors take so long to help and run out of pills to prescribe cause they aren’t helping enough and there is no cure.

[@zansvrlife9017]

Another banger *aggressively chews popcorn*.

[@rockndave02]

Very helpful and inspiring video!

[@Vaidiss]

my history teacher used my PTSD to compare to the hiroshima bombing, as i get it was kinda similar but not on the level the very obvious bombing was like. i get she wasnt trying to trigger me or anything but my 2019 past from explosions and sirens going off everywhere at the dawn of 3AM really hits to this day.

[@camelthegamer7165]

Dehumanizing. All sides did it in ww2. Doctor Seuss did it extensively and racistly to make it easier to kill the Japanese. Japan did it too. A good soldier doesn't see the enemy as human, he just kills them.

[@RenetaScian]

Sadly, all too true. Makes you get up to go look for the brain bleach.

[@savvythedivineyethuggable7493]

Wait, when did Dr. Seuss do it?

[@Sorrowdusk]

@@savvythedivineyethuggable7493 he drew wartime propaganda cartoons during WW2

[@Aurora99342]

I am planning to join UK army, tho just for the money. I plan to be the armourer

[@foggychurch]

intrusive thoughts are a pain, i live with them near-constantly too. I also have CPTSD from years of sexual abuse so my intrusive thoughts are just constantly of rape and abuse. We should talk about intrusive thoughts more. Because they're often extremely disturbing, and terrifying. It's so hard to deal with alone.

[@noahkalberg]

I can relate to the anxiety side

[@OhHeyItIsNano]

Glad she was able to make it alright in the end. Wonder if she has any interesting adventures in VR she'd like to share. 🤔

[@fralanasko2900]

How on earth did they not think you had PTSD....

[@blueraven5776]

Only few will understand, thank you for this video.

[@anonymous_bag5241]

I know this may seem insensitive. I think people who are empathetic are the ones who should (if they choose to) be in the military. If you treat murdering real people who have families and friends, people who care about them, and not feel anything about it, and treat it as a game, you should not be in the military.

[@SynTouhikou]

That’s wild… 2 5ths of Vodka a WEEK…..