This is how you appear to others depending on your mindset

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Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 28

@douggy3222 3 ай бұрын

One of the last things my ex said to me was "Grow up!". It's funny because in the moment it was completely unprovoked, I was trying to be as non-reactive as possible and not get baited into arguments and she just blurted it out. I did not even bother responding, but back when I still thought she cared about my opinion, I said to her "When someone tells another person to 'grow up', they are implying they themselves are grown, and therefore have no more growing to do, and that's actually a bad thing for them..." _Be comfortable with the fact that you're growing, not grown_ .... words to live by.

@anselmcs595 3 ай бұрын

That was beautifully said. Not only the truth of this is endearing, but also the poetry.

@sandra8991 4 ай бұрын

I just realized very clearly how fixed my mindset was growing up and how I still struggle so much with it. I feel ashamed. But it also gives me hope to get better.

@Betwixt_App 4 ай бұрын

Oh, please don’t feel ashamed! We live in a world that encourages a fixed mindset, so I think pretty much all of us have to do a bit of work on this. It’s so very powerful to know we can 🖤

@sandra8991 4 ай бұрын

@@Betwixt_App thank you so much for your supportive reply 🦋 It made me very emotional. I'm 45 years old and have never suffered more with anxiety and depression. I feel so overwhelmed by life. I was always curious and tried all kinds of things in life but didn't build something stable. And now I feel so lost and scared.

@Betwixt_App 4 ай бұрын

@@sandra8991I know exactly how you feel! I blazed through my first three decades, completely disconnected and numb to the crippling anxiety and doubt (that I can now see had been there all along). Then, in my thirties, it all came crashing down on me and I had no idea what to do or how to handle it. I’m glad to say that I now _do_ feel grounded and able to regulate my emotions, so I know you can too. It’s a process, of course, and it requires learning a bunch of skills, but things can be very much better 🖤

@sandra8991 4 ай бұрын

@@Betwixt_App thank you 🌱

@ranjanaluwihare1511 4 ай бұрын

Gosh didn’t know this was true! I had to listen to this again for re-affirmation! Thank you soo much! Soo enlightening! 🙏🏽🌹❤️🙏🏽

@Betwixt_App 4 ай бұрын

@@ranjanaluwihare1511 I’m so glad you found it inspiring! 🖤

@Deepskap-v9z 4 ай бұрын

Such an awesome summary in a nutshell

@Betwixt_App 4 ай бұрын

Thank you! 🤩

@elitsadermendzhiyska7771 4 ай бұрын

Great advice!

@Betwixt_App 4 ай бұрын

Thanks! ☺️

@AndyCroat-v6d 4 ай бұрын

Love your videos and this series. Thanks!

@Betwixt_App 4 ай бұрын

Thank you! And you’re so welcome 🖤

@smoage 4 ай бұрын

Would love to read your article if you wouldn't mind linking to it!

@Betwixt_App 4 ай бұрын

Oh, no probs. Here you go: medium.com/s/notes-on-changing-your-life/how-to-be-the-type-of-person-everyone-wants-to-know-b7e996313c39

@annetyrie2596 4 ай бұрын

ah ha! never seen it this way. hmm. would consider myself being brought up fixed, things were black and white, vulnerabilities were not to be shown. when i got smacked with the cosmic 2x4 i knew i had a choice - carry on as before with a stiff upper lip and swallowed hurt or open up to all that pain. i knew i couldn't do it alone so signed up for a self help facilitation series and a whole new world was found. what i didn't know i didn't know was staggering. after a good few years of soul searching and navel gazing i decided my only purpose in life was to be me. and to be the change i wanted to see. and the only difference i can make is to show by example. to be a pebble in a pond. thank you for your amazing concise insightful videos! i also need to say that my family no longer recognize me and think i'm nuts. their differing views were hurtful to my fragile ego, but at least i encouraged them to be honest lol

@bedazzledhobo6200 4 ай бұрын

God, i feel like you are writing about me 🤣 legit i can contextually explain my story with your words. I am still early in my journey but i promise myself i will be there

@Betwixt_App 4 ай бұрын

Oh, wow. This is an incredible story. Huge congratulations on this growth, and I’m so sorry about the familial rift it caused 🖤

@annetyrie2596 4 ай бұрын

@@bedazzledhobo6200 at nearly 70, i am 24 years on lol and still learning. i now enjoy the journey and stay in flow as much as i can. Life is as drama-less as i can make it and still be involved with groups of people. learning to love myself -wow what a revelation - you will be there!

@lllevokelll 3 ай бұрын

Generally, I expect my friends to be aware that it is literally impossible to meet me in any handful of meetings or moments, because, as the poet Walt Whitman once said, "I contain multitudes". So does everybody, though some lean into or away from it. I don't expect to meet my friends and they don't expect to meet me, we just expect to meet some version of ourselves any particular encounter. Familiar with each other, we skip past social convention after a cursory few remarks and get into authentic territory. You always need a little social framing, but you can veer into weird and intriguing territory almost astonishingly quickly after a couple checking-in exchanges, even with complete strangers. For example, just ask somebody how many ways they know of to perceive objects? (utilitarian, as expressions of consciousness, nondualistically, nominalistic, etc.) You don't have to be soft to be safe. None of my friends expect me to somehow not be aware of their personality flaws or their irrational nonsense or their theological dubiousness. They're just comfortable that I'm able to pick them apart but uninterested in harming them. It's okay to hurt your friends, when they benefit, because in part that is how they grow. You see a contradiction in their theology, with open permission to point it out, and together find a way to a better more accurate theology for them. It's not okay to harm your friends. You see a deep contradiction in their theology or their personality, but you realize it demolishes a key structural pillar of their whole theology or their fundamental sense of self, and they aren't ready for a collapse or crisis, so you wisely, with kindness, keep your mouth shut. Chess is a good example of this. Friend: moves piece. Me: Mmm, Rook is hanging to an xray attack by this bishop once the pawn exchange resolves. Friend: I take that back and push this pawn? Uh, I've lost track of the opening book moves. Me: So, this knight is book, or this other pawn is book and transposes the opening very defensively. Consider that you don't want book or defense though, as you're disadvantaged in a book memorizing competition. You want to go off book early, without a catastrophe, and play for a sharp game with lots of attacks and tactics on both sides, so you can either get lucky or up the chances I make a mistake in the novel off book sharpness. Friend: Ah, that is helpful. Thank you. This is why I like playing against you. Are they safe? Well, not in the sense that I'm not going to beat them up on the chess board. But they're going to feel at the end like a plant that got watered, bettered by the play and the conversation, and not like they got mistakes pounced on or got picked apart or made to feel bad.