This One Purchase Changed My Relationship With Money Forever

[@jungleman1012]

"Over-consumption sabotages your future. A scarcity mindset sabotages your present." That hit me hard. SO true .

[@GreggKocenko]

So true!

[@Dollsteak69]

It's 103 degrees outside and I know a guy that is under a fan with an A/C in the window and he won't turn the unit on in order to save less than $25 over the next 2 weeks. Ridiculous.

[@burchified]

How can I sabotage my past?

[@adamtajhassam9188]

I would also consider buying from dollar stores to save money on food better not wasting 56 dollars & walmart.

[@jungleman1012]

@@burchified Tell lies about it.

[@davidxiao8027]

"Spend extravagantly on the things you love, and cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t."

[@OhShunz]

Great quote by Ramit Sethi

[@tomleeyrc40]

said like a single man with no kids

[@dr.strangelove5708]

@@tomleeyrc40 So then he can teach that to the kids :)

[@b_delta9725]

@@tomleeyrc40 quite the opposite, if you're a dad your children is what you love the most so spending your money in what they want is the best you can do

[@jurgentebeest6199]

@@tomleeyrc40 Ramit Sethi is married. And it also applies to non-single people. You have a scarcity mindset.

[@stephengreen9207]

In 1965, my 10 year old self, a "saver" with a paper route, who also collected bottles to return for money, shagged golf balls for money etc., found himself with $5 (value $75 today) in his pocket on a hot boring summer day in tiny Charlotteton PEI while hanging with my 8 year old brother who did nothing for money and therefore had none. When he realized I had $5, he got so excited about our possibilities that I became intrigued. I asked him what he would do and he immediately said "comics, cold pop, chips, gum, candy, chocolate bars". I said OK. Best day of the summer! I remember little else of that summer but I will never forget us enjoying it all under a tree for the full afternoon. We never did it again, realizing it was insane, lol, but that also made it great.

[@howdythere3121]

What a great story! Have you ever thought about writing? You seem to have a knack for it.

[@lyndagibson9699]

And that golden day has stuck with you for life! 🎉

[@CubanDre]

haha shit man PEI! I grew up in small town Canada in the 80s. Couple of friends on bikes with 50 cents would go so far at the corner store. 43 years later, I am finally learning how to stop hoarding these coins

[@stephengreen9207]

@@howdythere3121 Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.

[@stephengreen9207]

@@CubanDre Oh yes, @ $.10 / pop, same for a comic book, or chocolate bar, chips $.05 etc it went far. Little bro, who I gave the lead to, also wanted 100 buble gums @ $.01 each lol. I let it ride. It was a hoard. Mel, the store keeper, knew the family and us or we would have been challenged as thieves for sure.

[@pederson815]

I bought the same exact machine about 10 years ago. The lesson I learned was not about scarcity, it was about the short-term benefit of buying on the cheap. This machine was expensive, but I have derived so much value from it, it is the best thing I've ever purchased. Really. I am now trying to apply this lesson to other areas of life. “The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.” ― Benjamin Franklin

[@laseximexi]

Buy once cry once

[@lenonel3286]

Damn that's why they put him on the hundred, wise man

[@robertlee4172]

Ya, I agonized over spending $14 bucks on a metal reusable coffee filter vs. a $3 dollar plastic version from No Frills. Best $14 bucks I ever spent.

[@turokforever007]

Nowadays, a lot of so-called good makes are just the same.

[@jackgreenstalk777]

"Quality is cheaper in the long run"

[@crapphone7744]

I can say from experience when you hit the point in life that a $2500 car repair bill is an inconvenience not a life-threatening and finance ruining event, you are in a good place.

[@ActionMan153]

I'd be fucked.

[@michaelnurse9089]

You generally don't there by buying coffee machines you don't need.

[@graeff]

​@@michaelnurse9089depends tho

[@7hi5on35]

This is why 'credit cards' exist.

[@crapphone7744]

@@7hi5on35 credit cards exist so Banks can charge you 23% or more for no justifiable reason except for lack of competition and greed. Once they have you hooked you never get unhooked, and with their high-powered lobbyists they've changed the bankruptcy act so you can't even escape that way anymore. The justice department needs to break up visa and MasterCard enforce them to charge any member Bank the same rate they charge Shittibank and Bunco America.

[@abe677]

My wife's a coffee hound so I watched this. Very good video. When I was young, my father told me that I needed a job that would pay enough to enjoy life when I wasn't working. He didn't mean retirement. He meant that we needed to enjoy life as we go.

[@banne8834]

That's always been my philosophy. I save some and invest, but I also spend and do things with my money. I have a view that life is short, and we need to enjoy it while we can. You don't know what tomorrow will bring. I think I got this attitude from los8ng my father at a young age, and then losing my teammates in the military due to an ambush by the Taliban. I take things a day at a time, and I save for the future but I focus in the here and now.

[@sergten]

"Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think Enjoy yourself while you're still in the pink The years go by as quickly as a wink Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think."

[@WhiteBubblySoup]

Hi my name's terry and I'm going to enjoy myself first

[@dawnbell475]

@@WhiteBubblySoup YES!!

[@_Big_Brother_]

I will always associate this song with the final episode of, "House, M.D."

[@ferney0gaviria]

Read it singing in myind

[@marcchrys]

The guy who sang that with Jools Holland Orchestra is now dead..so heck yeah those lyrics are so true

[@PabloTBrave]

$400 for a coffee machine you use every two weeks is a waste but $400 for a hobby and something to share with friends is nothing , you needed to see it as a hobby rather than a frivolous unnecessary purchase .

[@restalva]

correct. 😇

[@DaleYuzuki]

This right here. ☝🏻 A hobby you can share with many.

[@j.n.sloane]

She literally said this. Literally.

[@jakpips3967]

Our coffee maker was double this, we use it 4 times daily per person and have had it for 6 years that's a lotta cups made still works like a beast👍

[@ElectricityTaster]

If you have the money to spend then it becomes a matter of do you enjoy tinkering with a coffee machine more than you enjoy making 300 bucks? And keep in mind the only reason you enjoy making/saving money is so you can spend it.

[@hopeinparis]

It's not about coffee, it's about learning that fun and adventure are not trivial non-necessities in this life, and giving yourself permission to allocate part of your discretionary income to funding the fun, without guilt, apology, shame, or regret. This is huge for people who were brought up with a scarcity mindset. EnJOY! xx

[@hhjhj393]

I would agree with you, but people suffer because of coffee, and forests are cut down for coffee. It's not worth it. Coffee is not necessary. Food is necessary, coffee isn't. I like coffee, in fact I really like the taste of black coffee, but it's one drink..... The pleasure only lasts a tiny moment. Should so much suffering happen to others just so I can experience a moment of pleasure? I enjoy coffee sure, but it's not even that great of a pleasure.... Nope. Not worth.

[@worawatli8952]

@@hhjhj393 The ants are suffering because people farm potatoes. I'll stop eating chips from now on.

[@ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023]

​@@hhjhj393 Counterpoint: I manage my migraines with preventive medication, hydration, sufficient sleep, as balanced a diet as I can manage (I have several medical limitations), fresh air, playing with our dogs & other relaxation, and two or three cups of coffee per day (tea does not work for me, not even very strong black tea). If I fumble with these (and meds, coffee and sleep are the most critical) - BAM, a day wasted in pain. I do my best to buy Fair Trade coffee beans, to lighten the load my need places on others. We have a beginner level espresso machine, bought from a sale in 2017, twice repaired since, and still going strong. I consider this an ethical and sustainable enough solution for my situation.

[@RitzCracked]

@@worawatli8952 what a false equivalency lol

[@lauraanthony773]

“Overconsumption sabotages your future, but a scarcity mindset sabotages your present, and both of them make you regret your past.” Great topic, very thought-provoking. I grew up with similarly penny-pinching parents… we were told to conserve everything from laundry detergent to Dixie cups… I relate to the mind shenanigans I’ve had overcoming the tendency to over-over-over think $$ and decision-making in general.

[@Ncognito579]

❤

[@PacificSword]

There's a happy middle ground between unbridled consumerism and stoic frugality. Nice to see you're finding it!

[@AccordingtoNicole]

Couldn't agree more!

[@agentm83]

There's nothing wrong with buying something nice for yourself once in a while, within reason of course. Gotta treat yourself occasionally....

[@Black25284]

​@@AccordingtoNicole why Is your hair locking like 2014? Why you lock in general like 2014?

[@mistydavis4746]

​@@Black25284 why judge?

[@waynehendrix4806]

@@Black25284 Maybe because in 2024 we have so many drag queens? I'm going to vote that Nicole is a "hot chick" in her own way. (Do you know how many men appreciate straight hair?) And why does one say lock when they mean look. Bad bot. No botting botter.

[@ceuson3]

I saved for years & am now comfortably retired. I recently noticed that I'm just as frugal, but why? I'm here! This is what I saved for. So I went crazy this week - I bought grocery store sushi for lunch & matchbox cars for the grandkids! Baby steps, I guess.

[@lilblackduc7312]

Pace yourself, now! You don't want to step out on a ledge too fast...Lol

[@chetmyers7041]

You'll be cured of being a tightwad when you can spoil yourself with a pair of custom made shoes. I have plenty of money in the bank, but my parents were born in the mid and late 1920's, so they had plenty of experience living thru "lean times" and lived an example of being frugal. Dad always bought used cars and had a good relationship with a trusted independent mechanic.

[@azena.]

Hey, that's great, good for you to have given yourself the respect and care you deserve to enjoy yourself on something that you know you have the capacity to provide for yourself. Doesn't matter how small the strep is, it's meaningful to you and if it brings you joy then that's all that matters ❤️

[@robertlee4172]

You'll eventually pay for that indulgence. The end is nigh!

[@jimpchip]

Unfortunately I can only give this video one Thumbs Up. My wife and I are getting up in years and if we hadn't taken some of the trips we have in the past we may not have the chance going forward. The trips were all paid in cash and may have stunted the growth in our retirement balance but these are memories that don't go away. Enjoy life if it doesn't harm your future.

[@tracy419]

I'll probably die working because I can't afford to retire, but my wife and I moved to Europe when we were dating decades ago, traveled around, saw things and did things that most people in my same situation can only dream about. We did this in part because we lived in Fairbanks and saw all the retired tourists, many of which could barely walk across the street in a single light cycle, and thought why wait until we're too old to actually participate and enjoy it. Don't regret a thing.

[@halfsourlizard9319]

I mean, you could make more accounts and give it more thumbs up ... But prolly check ToS first ...

[@funknick]

I've been through this. My father was fairly stingy about spending despite him and my Mom being relatively successful in their careers. Our childhood often struggled with skimping on everything to save more money. Despite his relative success, he never got over the scarcity mindset. It plagues him and his marriage to this day. If we as kids didn't explicitly tell him we ran out of cereal, despite him knowing we're out of cereal, he would avoid buying more cereal. It didn't matter that he and my Mom had good jobs, it didn't matter that cereal only costs $3. It didn't matter that it meant his two kids would have breakfast for the week. What mattered was that he saved $3 not buying it that week. This scarcity mindset will destroy you folks. Even when my Dad retired and my Mom was far out-earning him even before he left his job, he would still skimp and cheap out on every little thing he could get away with. He'd pick on my Mom when she bought a "nice dress" that cost $50 when attending my brother's wedding. Don't let this mindset break you. It is necessary in a survival situation, but don't forget to actually live your life when you crawl out of the debt hole.

[@hhjhj393]

Your dad actually sounds like a decent man. Maybe of insulting the man who provided for a family, maybe you could try and understand where he is coming from? Maybe he is crazy, idk, but I didn't see any examples of him destroying anything in your comment.

[@naynayhooray]

@@hhjhj393They didn’t insult their father at all. They recognized how their father’s anxiety about money negatively impacted his relationships with his most beloved family members. That isn’t an insult, it’s an observation, and an important one to make if you wish to grow and thrive as a human being.

I had the same epiphany with my Barbie pajamas... I rarely buy clothes, like, really. So, it was a real struggle to convince myself to buy 2 Barbie-themed pajama sets... but they really give me joy and I'm always smiling when I wear them.

[@sunflowerfields4409]

Scarcity mindset totally describes how I've felt about money ever since I got out of debt in 2018. I finally had the means to save money and I did. Then I was terrified to spend it. Flashbacks of that mountain of debt I stood under paralyzed me. I still am afraid but I have dipped my toe in the water and am learning that it's ok to spend money on the things that make me happy. Like traveling. I booked a trip last year and paid in cash. Much to my surprise, my world didn't implode, I could still pay my rent, bills, etc AND have some left over. I'm still learning and trying not to feel guilty that I took that trip. This is exactly the video I need to watch over and over. Thank you for talking so openly about scarcity mindset.

[@deb1130]

I could have written this. I got myself out of a perilous financial situation and then began to save every possible cent I could to prevent that from happening again. I recently allowed myself to buy a rebounder (mini trampoline) and that “splurge” didn’t kill me! I actually love my new purchase.

[@sunflowerfields4409]

@@deb1130 ♥ How fun! A mini trampoline! I am glad you love it. Enjoy every moment while using it.

[@lynnlytton8244]

I want to grow up to be you. I'm close. If I hadn't had to replace a stolen car (with a giant yellow kayak on top that looked like a mutant banana; I ask you, who steals something that obvious, really?) and a hail-destroyed roof last year, I'd be closer. I still hope to travel.

[@sunflowerfields4409]

@@lynnlytton8244 omg! How horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. LOL a mutant banana. 🤣

[@stevecarter8810]

I resolved this by making one year loans from my savings to myself at 6%. So if I dip into savings £2000 for a bike, I set up a standing order of 172.13 per month for 12 months from my checking to my savings account. Then sometimes I feel broke and look at all the outgoings and I'm like, yeah I didn't need that, or, I already broke that, or yeah, I could just spend more time with that instead of spending again. And because me-the-bank always beats me-the-consumer, I continue to save while enjoying luxuries

[@johnnymac6178]

The real message of this video is about mental health. I completely relate. I have done this same mental gymnastics over so many things. You can't take the money with you...make it, save it, invest it, and spend it...and just enjoy life. You can always make more money but you can never get more time.

[@keithparker1346]

THIS. I would add that the only time that exists is NOW

[@ralphwaters8905]

My wife and I went through some hard times when we were young, and it made an impression. We both lived our whole lives in a scarcity mindset, although not to an extreme. I did all my own auto and home repairs. I saved 10% of my pay in a 401(k) for 27 years and adjusted to that 90% income so we never missed it. Our discretionary income and savings really jumped when we paid off our mortgage. I was able to retire at 55, and it was the best decision I ever made because she would fall ill when I hit 65 and pass away 2 years later. I wanted to do a bit of traveling but she never wanted to leave our pets alone at home. My lifestyle is "comfortable" now and I will never live long enough to spend that 401(k). So... Nicole has a good point. Moderation in all things. Allow yourself a few pleasures along the way, for that much-anticipated tomorrow may never come.

[@semmunn8322]

love you bro. you made me cry. i’m 67, still working full time. i don’t know how to stop. i’m afraid of boredom. i keep saying to my wife of 36 years that i have to retire and have some quiet time together.

[@ralphwaters8905]

@@semmunn8322 - I'm so busy these days I don't know how I ever found time to hold a day job. However, that's always been the case. Too many hobbies, I suppose...

[@DaleYuzuki]

“Fun is a good enough reason to do something… Life is weird. Life is boring, and stressful, and sad, and it’s up to each of us to find ways to make it less so.” I came here to hear about your espresso-making experience, and learned a lot about life. And you won a new subscriber. We all have no idea how long we have in this wonderful adventure of life. I have an impending loss of a close relative (to Stage IV cancer, DLBCL or large diffuse B-cell lymphoma) to remind me to appreciate the gift of today. There are no guarantees for tomorrow.

[@gryphonmacthoy]

Friend, you are AMAZING. This whole story is so relatable. I don’t know anyone who won’t learn a LOT from this. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing ALL of this. You’re wonderful! Consider : add a pinch of cinnamon to the darkest espresso. Tiny pinch. It’s my favorite way.

[@gzoechi]

When I first discovered I have enough money to buy stuff, I learned that it's really hard finding stuff worth buying. Most things are crap and are more burden owning them than not owning them. Then all the time used for recherche, what the best buying option is, was just wasted. Now I just enjoy knowing I'm financially safe and only buy something if I'm convinced it will improve my life.

[@MaryDeanDotCom]

True that. When I started earning real money, it was mind-blowing to walk around a mall and discover that all the stuff I had coveted, like jewelry from Zales or clothing from Macys, was overpriced crap. You find much better quality at the thrift stores.

[@geraldmcmullon2465]

The research needed to find what is best and best for you gets hard with so much information around and yet not really enough. The reviews tell us of the features even the quality of materials but can't tell us that it can be serviced in two years when it fails or that parts are even available from day one.

[@gzoechi]

@geraldmcmullon2465 The companies intentionally hide crucial information. Often it's even hard to find the resolution of a display. Other products aren't any better. It's like the companies want to prevent us from buying their stuff at all costs or perhaps the whole economy runs on people buying stuff they don't need by accident so they have to buy multiple times to get something they actually want once. I just try to not want anything. It's a great cure for the nerves.

[@James-ol6rw]

Sometimes, owning real quality products is far better than keeping the money they cost. Living well is more than just having lots of money. Exercising restraint is still important, but everything in moderation is the goal.

[@dizzysdoings]

There's a saying that's so true, the cheap turns out expensive.

[@junglecat7263]

Luxury is defined as the state of great comfort. If that upgraded machine brings you joy every day, it's $400 well spent. It also is important to amortize your spending. If you get 8 years out of that machine, it's $50 a year or 14 cents a day

[@bobsmithers]

And because its quality, it will be still worth $150-200 in 8 years if maintained. 👍

[@VHangout]

Exactly. I still use the Racilio Silvia I bought for $600 in 2009. $40/yr and still going strong.

[@lesleysears9808]

If coffee is your hobby you need a better hobby!!!

[@Tryp-j9d]

Aka WAAAAAAAY MORE than just MAKING YOUR OWN COFFEE!!!!

[@Tryp-j9d]

@@bobsmithersBUYING a COFFEE-MAKER…..to SELL it???

[@tombombadil8709]

"Everything in moderation, especially moderation."

[@heretolearn-m6v]

Yes, the scarcity, minimalist mindset has served me well all my life. I, like you, am at a point in my life that is causing me to ask why not? It is a struggle, but I have said yes to loosening the purse strings a few times, and everything is OK. In fact, I think stepping out of survival mode, which is the economic mindset of scarcity, is actually bringing more rainbows and unicorns into my life. I do have to say, as a lifelong coffee drinker, that I have had it in every conceivable way. Today, I love strong, black, unsweetened dark roast. Heaven!Thank you for sharing... 😃❤🙏✌

[@patrickcallahan2210]

Insightful! One thing I found for me is maximizing the joy that money allows. For instance, spending money on a beautiful kitchen knife that I use every day vs spending money for something fancy/beautiful which I use rarely. By choosing the knife I get to enjoy using it each day and each time I see it I get a little hit of beauty which brightens my day. As opposed to splurging on something that gets stuck in a closet and only used a few times a year, or some painting for the hallway that I walk past without even noticing on the way to the bathroom most of the time.

[@stuffbenlikes]

$700 for my machine, turned me from wasting time and money twice a day going to Starbucks, waiting in line, often getting my order wrong and having to go back after I get home, to a vast increase in happiness and satisfaction. I don't even make fancy stuff, I make a mocha twice a day every day and it's often the most satisfying thing in my day.

[@frenchyroastify]

Yeah, me too. I enjoy making my coffee.

[@ImprovisedExpletiveDevice]

Exactly how it was for me. A $700 machine sounds bad until you develop a Starbucks latte habit. Add a dollar or two for tip and your machine pays for itself within months.

[@elzbietamiet1635]

LOVE THIS. ☕ 💕

[@W4ldgeist]

My wife loves cappuccino. So I one day, after reading a million reviews and waiting for 2 years, I bought the same machine she bought. Now I make my wife a cappuccino every morning, with a nice latte art heart on it (yeah I know it's simple, but it makes her happy). She sits there smiling and enjoys the great coffee to start her day. That piece of work, that takes 5 minutes out of my sometimes stressful morning, is very enjoyable to me. Even though I often don't drink coffee myself in the morning and share with her. Just doing that one thing every morning for her, with an expensive machine I waited so long to buy makes me happy.

[@BigNews2021]

Yeah, Starbucks is ripoff. I only go because I keep getting gift cards for the place. Right now I think I have around $200 in my card and it's been a while since I last went. I usually use them when traveling. Mostly I make my coffee at home. Black coffee or cappuccinos, and all I need is my Moka pot and French press (actually have 2 of each in different sizes). I've thought about buying an espresso machine. But really, I don't need it and I really can't justify the expense seeing as I love the coffee that I make.

[@markhernden9472]

My two most prized possessions are my 11 year old Bosch coffee maker and my 12 year old Taylor guitar. The coffee maker works as well today as the day I bought it and the guitar gets better with age. I enjoy them both every day. It's very gratifying to make a purchase that you're 100% satisfied with, no matter the cost.

[@Tryp-j9d]

MY $8 Walmart coffee maker STILL WORKS PERFECTLY after NINE YEARS.

[@thenorthstargirl]

Yes!!! I love this. I did something similar a few years ago - I spent $300 and bought the most expensive winter jacket at LL Bean they had, because I tried it on without looking at the tag and it fit like a GLOVE. I debated not buying it because it was so expensive but I had been shopping for one for so long and it was just perfect. Literally the nicest, most well made, warmest, most versatile jacket I have ever owned, and I live in the North Eastern US. Ever since then I have bought the exact clothes I want - when before I would buy what was in "style" or the best price on the sale rack for the best value. I have saved more money buying the expensive things because I am so happy with the clothes I have, I really don't feel the need to shop. I rarely ever go shopping unless I actually need something. For example, I tried on a Patagonia shirt because I loved the style and it fit perfect, but it was almost $50... but that is the only shirt I bought all summer, as well as a T shirt I bought as a souvenir on vacation. I genuinely love my clothes when I put them on, because I invested in my own wellbeing and quality and HAPPINESS. I'm sure it's different for everyone, but that's what worked for me! My wardrobe has also gotten a lot smaller, so much less stress, more happiness. I buy clothes well made for the season, and that will last. Great video! :)

[@found_at_midnight]

Great presentation! Excellent lesson and well stated. I too grew up with a scarcity mindset and for most of my life scraped mold off of any spoiled cheese, ate more if there was free food at a venue, choked down overripe bananas, stopped at every pile of curbside trash to find treasures, save soap bar scraps to combine later to use, shoes were good until there was a hole in the bottom, etc. I even had a minimalist mentality through my twenties and actually enjoyed it. Then I bought a coach wallet and used it and enjoyed it for almost twenty years. I learned that not everything has to be cheap if it is made to enjoy and last for many years. In many cases, buying higher end products saves money in the long run.

[@vng75]

In my early 40’s I started to earn a lot of money while keeping my lifestyle very frugal. After a couple of years like that, I decided to explore how spending more money would make to me. I bought a new fancy car and, I started traveling around the world with my family. Money really gave me the feeling of living more at that time but, like a drug, the feeling faded away when I was back to my ‘normal life’. After 6 years, I decided to return to a frugal lifestyle, to enjoy simple experiences which do not cost you a lot (like hiking) and focus on what really brings me joy. There is no causality between money and happiness. Money just makes you more secure and free to make your own choices. This is my journey. Usually I don’t write too much about it but your video was a good catalyst.

[@markusbartkowiak3813]

Thank you for sharing!

[@ye4864]

I like how you wrote as much as what you wrote, sir

[@welshie2007]

Was it hard for your family to switch back with you?

[@vng75]

@@welshie2007 luckily no. I switched when my children left home for college and it turned out to be easy to return to a frugal lifestyle my wife and I eventually preferred.

[@hhjhj393]

We humans physically can't experience "happiness" for long periods of time, it's just not in our wiring. Look at men with porn.... The pleasure always fades, and your brain demands more and more to feed the dopamine hit. You start off looking at playboy mags and suddenly you are watching the foulest things.... Or with food, you eat a cookie and get a momentary high. The cookie was AWESOME, but only for a moment... You reach for another cookie to keep the pleasure going, but the second cookie while good just doesn't taste as good as the first one. You go to the store to buy more cookies, but the normal cookies aren't good enough anymore, now you need double chocolate, dipped in sugar, super soft cookies. Again you eat a cookie it tastes AWESOME, but only for a moment.... You buy a nice car you feel like a king! But only for a moment.... Chasing pleasure is a fools errand. Instead of fleeting pleasures seek longer term happiness. Instead of seeking simple sex, seek a deep relationship. Instead of buying cookies, try gardening. Instead of buying new cars, try walking, hiking, or designing something. I truly believe that no joy can truly ever come from consumerism. The pleasure you get might be immense, but only for a moment....

[@arielspalter7425]

This mindset of beating yourself up after the fact on small purchases I make really resonates with me. I’m a 50 year old man with a home fully paid off and no other debt, significant savings and enough left over money every month, and I cannot stop feeling guilty for spending $150 on a stupid item I wanted from Amazon or once in a blue moon allowing myself taking an Uber because I didn’t feel like using the public transit. I really don’t know how to teach myself to relax around the fun money.

[@kevalan1042]

why not make a "fun" budget, allocated for spending without justification

[@Cuzzazbuzz]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pp7VhKireaymY7csi=yR895Yd6xPX0hMdN

[@Breadfan00]

@@kevalan1042and you need to get rid of it, if something’s left over, invite a friend to dinner. There is no waste in that.

[@mind.journey]

@@kevalan1042 If I did that I would end up not using the allocated amount anyway

[@DywanTv]

Maybe what I will say is a bit harsh, but man. You are 50. Realistically how much more years of good health and quality of life do you have? 10 to 15? Never knows, may be 5 may be 20. You worked your ass off for 30 to 40 years. Of course I do not know you, but how many good memories do you have from these years? Can you imagine anyone at 80 years old telling that he wishes he would've save more money? You cannot take money with you. Fuck it. Buy a motorcycle you always wanted, but the camera, bicicle, flying course, jump with parachute, rent a Lambo if its your thing, fly to Thailand. Someone wise told me one that we only regret thing we didn't do. I find in more and more true everyday.

[@1970EModel]

Holy cow. A week ago I spent $440 on some automatic litter box. I have been questioning the decision ever since. I was debating sending it back. It doesn’t change my life. It helps a little. And it may not last. It’s $440. Then your video comes across my feed…. That’s me! You’re spot on! Why am I worried about this? My financial situation is very good. I am wasting hours trying to decide if the expense was worth it. Thank you.

[@thisdude5825]

If it's a Litter Robot, it was a great investment. We've had one for a couple of years now, and although it's not perfect, if it broke today, I would be ordering another one tonight. Beyond the convenience it provides, we use literally less than half of the litter that we used to.

[@RoyalReyna]

​@@thisdude5825I recently started looking into review for an automatic litter box as I thought it would make my life easier and increase the quality for my cars because it would be getting cleaning through the day instead of just once. But all the reviews I've looked at so far said they were more hassle than they're worth and not great for the cats? So could you tell me more about your experience? I don't wanna give up on the idea just yet

[@seporokey]

A few years ago I realized that everyone has, or at least would like to have, a thing they spend "too much" money on. Like, I saw this wooden bathroom caddy on Etsy for $200 and I thought "Why the hell do you need a $200 bathroom caddy?!", but when I thought about it, I'm the same way with computers, and my sister is the same way about cameras. I don't NEED a $2K gaming desktop, and she doesn't NEED a $1.5K Sony Alpha whatever camera, but these things are our hobbies and they spark joy. There's a middle ground between frugality and over consumption and it seems like you're finding it. Kudos to you.

[@piedpiper1172]

Would a $500 6800xt have been fine? Yes. Did my $980 7900xtx cost more than I spend on rent? Yes. Has it brought me the simple joy of a premium product delivering premium experience every day for over a year? Yes. We spend so much time working, and so little on hobbies. For the things we use the most, it often makes a world of difference to have that little extra. Recently I was building a computer for my partner using old parts. During the down time we started playing Remnant 2, and she used our steam deck on “potato” quality (it’s literally called that in the game, lol). Seeing 4k ultra side by side with 720p potato, I’d never felt so good about every penny spent on my card. It’s important to have things that translate all our labor and work into a sense of earned satisfaction. A few nice things that work as they should, every time.

[@apothes1970]

I have been frugal my whole life and paid my mortgage off quickly and now have a nest egg, but a life of austerity has made me frugal and I feel I left it so long that now I'm at a point where I've lost interest in the things I wanted when I was saving, l have the money to buy whatever I want but I have nothing I want anymore. My advice from this is to find a balance, and not to get too deep into he whole delayed gratification thing because you run the risk of having nothing to look back on and be happy about. My grandkids will be the real beneficiaries of my frugality.

[@alanwainwright79]

James Hoffman set me straight. I really enjoy coffee but JH said if you’re not looking for a hobby don’t buy an espresso machine. His suggestion was to leave the fancy drinks to the professionals and purchase them as required. However to meet your coffee needs go for an Aeropress or a Pour-Over for your morning fix. This has worked well for me and satisfies my morning coffee fix. I still indulge with the odd “fancy” milk infused drink, but the Aeropress (that was purchased for me as a gift) really dos the trick. I really enjoy your pragmatic real world videos Nicole, keep them coming. Take care.

[@kli9005]

That exact video is why I own the Breville Precision Brewer that he has.

[@WayneSchowalter]

It was a surprising revelation to see you step back ever so slightly from your minimalist lifestyle, difficult as it may have been. Life is too short to deny yourself whatever it is that gives you a moment of happiness. I have only recently decided to stop denying myself purchases I would have thought too expensive in the past but now offer me a degree of joy and a way to shake up the mundane moments of life. So, please, ditch the regrets and enjoy yourself. You have earned it.

[@kennethoneill4176]

She still only has one espresso machine and she learned to make espresso on the less expensive machine. I'm more impressed she saved 400-600 dollars on the purchase. Minimalism as your actual Budget allows a person to buy higher quality more durable things. I'm a drip coffee person though and the flavor in my coffee comes from the creamer I use. And I prefer using honey to sweeten coffee at home. For long term use I need a coffee maker with an indestructible coffee pot. As I usually have to replace machines because I burn or break the pot

[@SPR_NAPALM]

@@kennethoneill4176I hear ya. Several years ago, we broke our drip coffee pot. I thought, I'll just replace it. The pot was more than a new coffee maker. Go figure.

[@kennethoneill4176]

@@SPR_NAPALM unless I unplug a coffee pot after I use it I end up eventually leaving it on and burning the pot . But I'm low class I'm not above buying coffee from gas stations that if you save the cup you can refill it day after day for like 50 cents

[@cynthiamurphy3669]

@@SPR_NAPALM I'm 70 and have been a coffee lover since I was a teen. I'd tell anybody that a cup of very hot strong instant coffee with some powdered creamer and sugar when there's nothing else at hand tastes pretty durn good, especially if you're cold and need the caffeine kick right now. When my old Mr. Coffee finally quit working over a year ago, I searched out another 12-cup drip model online and found one at Walmart selling for $12.00 because it was white instead of black. I use it daily, and it's holding up fine. Coffee elitism is a thing on you tube and always cracks me up. And mainstream media said yesterday that coffee prices will probably be going up, no surprise.

[@CELLPERSPECTIVE]

This is weirdly relatable for me. I went through the EXACT mental gymnastics with the EXACT same Breville model. Growing up with immigrant parents, while teaching me the importance of saving, really did break my relationship with money in more ways than I care to admit.

[@thinkmilly2810]

I know exactly what you’re talking about. I had a friend point this out to me over 25 years ago. He calls it poverty consciousness. Once I figured out that I didn’t have to have that mindset, I searched for a better mindset and it was a game changer. You are not alone. Thank you for posting this video.

[@cedarforest4621]

Yes, I have struggled with a scarcity mind-set that leads to limiting beliefs. This video speaks to me. Also, had a similar incident with coffee machines. But I went for one of the more expensive machines (Rocket Espresso), and LOVED it. Then I realized (after 10 years, because once you buy something you never give up on it) that it costs too much in maintenance, and am now starting the process of looking for a less-expensive to operate machine. There is a balance. Glad you are learning it sooner than I did. Although I have to say that scarcity mind-set does leave you with more options at the end of the day.

[@tqpro]

We all hit these lessons at different times in our lives. For me it's learning that lesson in my mid-fourties. It's unreal how pervasive that mindset can be in every facet of our lives when you live month to month and then finally, after 25 years of working....break free..

[@bgdexter]

If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well. There's a persistent joy in using things well designed. We're tool makers, and appreciating tools made by people going that extra mile to make it great also means appreciating those people and confirming the mindset we share with them.

[@KnightMirkoYo]

Oh, it actually fits very nicely with my earlier conclusions: - Don't judge what others are doing with their lives, because their _goals_ are probably very different from yours. New one from you: - Don't judge what others spend their money on, because what they _love_ is probably very different from what you love.

[@aratafreecs3445]

I totally get this and this was me until November of last year. After years of interest in photography and occasionally shooting on my second hand Canon, I decided to take it seriously and get a professional camera and lens and to go out and use it every day. That purchase had so many positive side effects on my whole life. I went out way more than before, got happier and became more open to new experiences.

[@87Rado]

Wow, I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one that goes through this. I recently retired, and was asked to come back to work at my old company almost immediately (due to them short handed) for more than double my old pay. I only work two days per week, and 4-5 hrs each day. I told myself that since all of the money I'm getting will be extra income, it's going towards the restoration of a classic truck I own. I have put away more than enough to start this project, but am having trouble purchasing anything for the truck due to how expensive the items are. So now I just keep collecting the money and buy nothing, and what's the point in that? I plan to use your video as a reminder that, it's OK to move forward with my plan. Thank you!

[@belenlg5978]

I played piano as a kid til I was 19, then stopped because uni got too hard. At 27 decided to go back and buy an awesome 6500 euro piano (Kawai K300 Silent). It was all my savings at the time, but no regrets, I actually enjoyed the new piano so much I started studying piano again, and now at 37 I play it from 5 to 15 hours a week. I'm not a pro pianist, but a decent intermediate musician. I teach little kids, I compose comedic songs with my nephews, I play with my brother who plays sax, I share recorded songs with my other pianist friends... Having a hobbie which engages you and allows to share the benefits with others is incredibly rewarding, being coffee, a piano or whatever!

[@GrahamCampbell-kr2gz]

I spent $3500 on a commercial machine when I had money. Paid for itself in 18 months. No more trips out and an obligatory cake. People now came to me for coffee so I saved time. 23 years later I am so far ahead. Best purchase ever

[@MiteshDamania]

It was working 23 years later?

[@ThaJay]

@@MiteshDamania With commercial machines the reliability is not compareable to what's on the consumer market.

[@Vince3C]

Great insights. The goal shouldn't always be about what is the cheapest, but what offers the most value. Choosing cheap over value can be expensive. Sometimes the cheapest is what a person needs to get by. But if a person can reasonably spend more to get the optimum value, that's probably the better option.

[@dieterdevos8907]

I am really happy for you, we are vulnerable as human beings no need to hide that. Thank you!

[@richardbarry2140]

Thank you for this video. I am retired and spend less than half of my income from my investments. Yet, I ponder over possible purchases within the same price range as your coffee maker for months even though they will make no difference in my long-term financial situation. Your sharing of your struggle helps me see that all of us people who were born or have lived in financially strained times internalize too much pain over spending. Sometimes we must examine ourselves and excise some of our demons to enjoy life more fully.

[@rhondaloveloveloves9551]

I was raised to buy the best quality of what you want even if you have to wait and save the money for it first. We have taught this lesson to our children🌻I have never regretted buying quality items but have watched many friends buy cheap things and replace them multiple times.

[@bettybotterbutter]

How did you get so smart at such a young age! (or wise, maybe..) I can certainly relate, but am in my 60s and trying not to let money fears rob me of small joys and certain expenditures that bring happiness. After years of the deprivation mindset (ex husband helped with that) I am feeling freer to indulge here and there with as little guilt as possible. Seeing the end of the horizon up close makes it easier, so bravo to you for coming to this awareness so young. Love your videos!

[@RaveKev]

Wow, this is the first video of you i see. And it is great! I am a pretty impulsive shopper. I buy stuff i don't need, i try new hobbies nearly every two months and buy the stuff i need for them. When i try to figure out what i want to buy, i start at the lowest price, think about it, and check what i might miss with the next higher ones, then i compare them to the next league, etc. So i started with a Low price coffee machine, went over to a Sage Barista and ended buying a Bezzera duo top mn. But there are also things, i don't buy that often or always the highest tier stuff - I own my digital camera pretty long, but that's because i did not reach the camera's boundaries, but the boundaries my knowledge and skill in taking photos are the limit.

[@08Barclay]

Wow! I’ve struggled with a scarcity mindset for most of my life, and at 71 years old, Still deal with it, in many of my purchase decisions. Your quote, is succinct, and indicative of wisdom beyond your years. In the vernacular; “ you go girl”! 😉👍🏻

[@RRak]

I was also raised in a scarcity mindset but with one big caveat. My parents always told me to choose my priorities and buy the stuff that is important to me of the highest quality I can reasonably afford. The saying is "Only a rich person can afford to buy cheap stuff". Because you often have to buy it twice - first cheap and later again - good. This way almost all the stuff I care about is high quality, reliable, and lasts longer than I've expected.

[@TenaciousP]

I tell me kids - always buy the very best you can afford - it’s true.

[@DanielSalgadu]

I've always dreamed about a fender guitar, and in Brazil they are really expensive, so when I got my first job I bought the cheapest guitar and spent years and money improving it with new gear. One day it clicked me and guess what. I spent 3 fender guitars improving that cheap one. This was a lesson for a life. In Brazil we have this saying: The cheap turns out expensive. Lesson learned.

[@rautakallio1852]

But think of the fun you had adding the guitar mods. Not to mention all the things you learned about guitars along the way. You wouldn’t have had that experience if you just bought a new Fender or Taylor.

[@KeithandPamBilyeu]

Pam here….what the scarcity mindset does the most is create a different kind of selfishness, almost a cruel one really. I have observed the lack of generousity, benevolence, and genuine care for others who might be in need or suffering in some way. I find that this mindset is a twisted form of greediness too. One person I knew, loved to always be dressed in new clothes. OMG, I was like HOW does she afford this? She wears it all once or twice and returns it. A couple stores in our area finally cut her off. It was really a form of stealing.

[@pauldodd2120]

Not spending on yourself doesn't mean you don't donate generously to worthy causes.

[@themoodyteam]

Apparently the returning clothes scam is really common 🤯 Unbelievable!

[@brendanmahony3002]

Money is for recognising the good work of others. Saving is mean by nature, wastes other people’s time and effort, creates unemployment and reduces the real world products available in the future. Should you buy a bond to purchase a retirement home in the future or should you invest in a retirement home that meets your requirements? Saving destroys everyone’s present and spending creates everyone’s future.

[@Skolzerx]

Mehhh, this comment is not really right. I have a huge scarcity mindset but donate generously. Just have trouble spending on myself

[@brendanmahony3002]

@@Skolzerx Donating is spending. The only way to save is to buy bonds or invest in other people's bonds (bank debits, super and stocks).

[@michaelbeary]

I did almost click away once I saw this was about a coffee maker, but somehow I knew by then that it would be meaningful and insightful. It's fascinating how you know immediately when you're dealing with a genuine and thoughtful person.

[@samsonchan1488]

I have the same Breville BE. Growing up everything was scarce, and I went through the same thought process before buying the expression machine. Great video - life’s too short already not to feel joy

[@jerryanderson3181]

Nicole I am 55 years old have managed thousands of people through out life and you are the smartest person I think I have ever heard let alone know anyone of your caliber keep on keeping on doing what you are doing thank you for sharing I am sure you have helped a lot of people

[@Tryp-j9d]

“Throughout” is ONE WORD, DUMBBELL!!

[@Tryp-j9d]

BUY SOME PUNCTUATION, DUMBBELL!!!

[@joelmichalski7429]

I bought a $450 grain mill to mill my own flour from wheat berries. It elevated my baking game and I now make extra loaves of bread to share with friends and family. I get to educate people on the difference between real bread and bread from the supermarket - and when people taste the difference they want to learn. It’s a virtuous circle. So… like Nicole, buy something nice and use it for yourself but also share with others - it really makes the experience rich and takes away the sense of over-indulgence. Sharing is key!

[@geniferteal4178]

My sister does this! I thought she was the only one crazy enough. Don't worry I've heard all about the benefits. 😊

[@piccalillipit9211]

*IVE BEEN A MILLIONAIRE* and Ive been homeless - Ive lived with multiple apartments and villas packed with expensive stuff and I've lived in a 1 bedroom unfurnished apartment with NOTING This is my advice. Own as LITTLE as humanly possible, but the things you do buy, buy the BEST quality you can afford / get hold of. But ONE quality item a year for the cost of the 40 items of trash you usually buy. Im a bespoke tailor now of historical suits, my clients buy maybe 1 suit ever 2 years, and they buy second hand as well. ---> I just bought a new sewing machine - actually its 30 years old, but its the perfect one for the specific task, its taken me looking every day for 18 months to find it in as new condition. As it happens it was very cheap - but I would have paid 5 x the price for it because its THE RIGHT TOOL FOR THE JOB. and it will last until I pass away.

[@pennynickels5216]

I just bought cashmere !!!

[@joeshmoe9940]

I see it the same way. Buy few things but buy the best. The older one gets, the more one accumulates and most of it is just junk you end up having to get rid of. Skip the junk phase and go right to a few very nice things you really enjoy.

[@piccalillipit9211]

@@pennynickels5216 I hope you enjoy it and it lasts you a long time. If you need to wash the garment buy a bar of old fashioned white natural tallow soap, grate a small quantity off into a bowl of warm water and gently wash the garment just swilling the water through and around the garment. Rinse thoroughly and dry flat - dont wring it out - but as it drys pull into shape. Cashmere is a wonderful fibre but its short and fine, it will not stand washing and dry cleaning strips the natural oils - so after you have it cleaned it will get dirty very quickly. I hope this is helpful

[@piccalillipit9211]

@@joeshmoe9940 I suffered brain damage in a mugging when I was rich - in the aftermath I was evicted and left behind everything I owned except my dog and some clothes and my car. I chose not to fight the legal battle to get the stuff back, hard to do when you are homeless. That was 10 years ago - turns out 98% of the stuff I left behind I had no need of. I have never had to re-buy it in order to live a happy life. The things you own, they really DO own you. You have to pay to insure them, to store them, to move them, to maintain them, to upgrade them.

[@noelhanna6432]

I've been a rich man and I've been a poor man, And I choose rich every f**king time!!!!

[@gregoriobenavides]

I’ve come to relish the good deal on well-built, quality items that I use each day or week. Regular maintenance, upkeep, and learning how to do it these things myself rounds it out for me. I was fortunate to be gifted an almost new Breville Infuser espresso machine at the beginning of this summer, and love it. Learning about it has brought me joy and appreciation on several levels - especially of my wonderful friend who could have sold it (she got it for free when she was picking up lamps she bought on FB marketplace) but instead gave it to her friend - me. Great video and story. Thank you for sharing it with the world!

[@clutchnshift1]

I appreciate your thoughts pre and post $400 coffee machine. I used to use alternatives for getting to an airport, but then, out of great convenience to me and my family, I agreed to spend money on airport parking (not the shuttle parking, but the “right there” parking). It was expensive, but it was worth it, removing unnecessary stress when catching our flight and also on our return home. Don’t skimp on transportation and parking when you travel, you are already spending money on having fun, don’t let parking and transportation ruin that experience.

[@JubeiKibagamiFez]

2:45 Fancier and more expensive does not always mean high quality and well built. Most times, that fancy, expensive is priced because of the brand slapped on the front.

[@frostyfingers9282]

I believe that everybody who comes up in financial hard times and lives to see more affluent days must face this truth: frugality is a superpower in poverty and a prison in wealth. A poor person who comes into money and can't bring themselves to ever spend any of it is poor forever. It's often really hard for frugal folk to flip that switch and realise they don't have to live in scarcity any more. And excessive frugality is just keeping them miserable. It's a response to a problem that no longer exists. Obviously don't go buck wild and fritter money left, right, and centre. But handwringing about enjoying purchases you totally can afford is a giant waste of time. Money you can't ever bring yourself to spend is worthless.

[@AccordingtoNicole]

Well FWIW I’m still pretty far from affluent. Definitely not in poverty, but far from a place where spending money is inconsequential.

[@TylerG7777]

Wow. This was truly an excellent comment. So profound, and so true. “Frugality is a superpower in poverty, and a prison in wealth”. “A poor person who comes into money and can't bring themselves to ever spend any of it is poor forever.”. Those are some of the best comments I have read. I wrote them down. Thank you for sharing that.

[@someundeadtalent2016]

It’s hard to find the middle ground between mindful with consuming and also spending money, while also not restricting yourself too much. For me, a big thing was buying new furniture for our new apartment - and moving into it in general. It’s way pricier than our old one, but oh boy does the balcony spark joy. Same for the furniture, one vitrine and one lounge chair I’ve dreamt for since forever…

[@gcfun]

Great video! I struggle with a scarcity mindset, also based on my upbringing. It affects me mostly with finances and my time. But I’ve also found myself swing from intense saving seasons into spending seasons and vice versa. It’s almost like the impulse loses its threat (to a person with scarcity mindset) but then it catches up with me and I pivot hard back to saving. One thing I’ve been convicted about lately is missed opportunities with hoarding both my time and money, opportunities that very well have the potential to bring me more autonomy over my time and more money than I could have imagined. It’s all about balance and this video does a great job explaining this!

[@elisebrown5157]

I was raised with a scarcity mindset, and then spent much of my married life while the kids were young barely scraping by paycheck to paycheck. There was always financial pressure. Even once I was separated and had a good income, I was still using unpacked moving boxes as furniture because it "didn't make financial sense to buy anything." My next relationship was disastrous in all aspects but one - he taught me how to have fun with my money. I spent so much time just jealous that he had so much stuff he really enjoyed, and then something suddenly shifted and I realized there was nothing stopping me from spending my money on things I wanted too. Have I bought things I regretted or overspent in certain categories? - yes, of course. But overall, I've tried to stay within my budget and with a mind to not adding clutter to my home. I've certainly enjoyed life more since adopting that outlook. I think of myself as an epicurean: I don't want a lot of stuff, but I want the stuff I have and care about to be the best I can afford. It's more enjoyable, easier, and lasts longer that way. I don't spend my hobby time wishing I had the "thus-and-such" model instead of whatever I bought.

[@talus007]

“Fun is a good enough reason to do something” Words to live by

[@johnkelly6550]

"Fun is a good enough reason to do something you can afford, if it is something you want to do” Words to live by

[@iandoesallthethings]

Once my financial situation improved I had to fight myself to spend money to accommodate my newly diagnosed ADHD. Yes, $800 for the robot vacuum with the mop and dock felt absolutely insane, but when had I EVER EVER had mopped floors in my adult life before?

[@smugdouglas]

So glad you told us not to click off this video because it was about a coffee maker... Didn't even know I needed this video right now. Hit me in the feels, thanks stranger.

[@85amil]

Don’t know why this video popped up in my feed but I enjoyed hearing your thoughts. And the way you view money and spending has a lot to do with your upbringing. Some people were raised as if money was scarce only to find out their parents were borderline rich but frugal and stingy their whole childhood. Some really didn’t have it in childhood and go crazy when they finally more well off than their parents. Some are just like you. And some just Always had everything growing up because their parents could afford it and their family would just give away things when they don’t want it or no longer use it because everything comes so easy. Like famous rich ppl and popular influencers that always get free stuff! All examples can have and extreme effect on someone in good way or bad way.

[@zacharyquinn2144]

I suffer with this on a much more extreme level. I went back and forth for weeks between whether I should drop $8 on a pair of bluetooth headphones at five below so I could listen to music at work. I have so much money saved and still $8 felt like too much. I’ve held onto the receipt for 2 weeks in case I want to return them for any reason and so far they work great and I’ve actually been using them!

[@AccordingtoNicole]

That’s wayyyyy too far

[@zacharyquinn2144]

@@AccordingtoNicole Yes!! I’d rather oversave than overspend though lol I have pinched pennies my whole life

[@ronnieyuen4309]

You work hard to enjoy life buddy. If spending is your poblem, plan ahead, set aside disposable income every month, spend that money on yourself knowning that you can.

[@bethmcpherson1355]

I resonate with this because I splurged on Bose over ear noise canceling headphones a couple of years ago. They are PERFECT and I use them every day. Consider the cost per wear for items and buy the best quality you can afford. Keep it forever. You will save $ in the long run.

[@emiliodiaz3927]

I'm with you , I have saved up a lot of money (not rich), but the survival mode that helped me save that money doesn't let me spend any of it

[@ebeyslough]

Bought exact sane machine 5 years ago and it was the best decision. Never have to go out, wait in line and spend $12 on two cups of latte every morning. Especially convenient on weekends when we can sleep in, make coffee and lounge around for a few hours without leaving the house.

[@KsazDFW]

Me too…. I bought mine pre-pandemic using credit card points. The breville and my Tesla are two of my best acquisitions.

[@toonman361]

Most of my life I made little money. I finally have a career where I am comfortable. I had a light-bulb moment about a year ago when I noticed that some of the things I was buying were in boxes long after I bought them. That made me rethink the idea that having the money to buy something should not justify its purchase. I am now set with the task of moving much of these things on to a buyer at a fraction of the cost. A hard lesson.

[@TarpeianRock]

Really, really enjoyed your vid, had no idea where this was going at the start. I’m 64 and very close to retirement, earned good money and I have no debt but living on my pension ( being European ) I’ll have to make do with significantly less. When I look back and reminisce on all the things I did, acquired and the many, many far away travel adventures I lived through I have a deep sense of satisfaction : I did what I did then because I enjoyed doing them at that specific time in my life, now at 64 I don’t have the same longings and have other interests but I’m very glad for having had those “time-specific” enjoyments. Don’t ever spend money you don’t have but do the things you can afford to do.

[@andersv20]

This resonates a lot. Espessially the bit about talking to your friends about it, withouth getting much of a responce. Somehow, I feel really alone in the experience of going back and forth over something expensive that you care about, and something that you really really want to get right, and nobody seems to care even one bit, and it's impossible to get more than a shrug and an accusation of overthinkkng when you try to share a glimpse into this drama that's been your life larely. At the end of any one of those personal journeys, which they absolutely are, I have a need for someone to just engage with me about it, to understand and validate all those emotions and frustrations and the time spent and thoughts and dilemmas and research just to get the damn thing.. Right. But instead they say "Yea, good coffee!" 💀

[@amandaheshka5684]

I can totally relate. Let’s hope the happy middle ground is a wide plateau and not the narrow tightrope that I still struggle with thinking it is.

[@ssebasgoo]

I've been raised like that too. Whenever I buyed a video game with my hardly earned money, I was earing my mom in my head telling me that wasn't necesary and I wasn't a kid anymore. The sentiment of culpability is real but, eventually, you realise that life cost money. You're not gonna be buried in dept by buying what makes life enjoyable.

[@JoshuaTrinityWolf-dc4up]

I met a young man in 1992 that was heartbroken about his upcoming divorce. You see for years he only focused on work and paying off his house and his young wife was upset that they never had fun.She wanted to go camping or go on a road trip because they both worked hard for employers and only paid down the house she began to hate. I told him that moderation and fun are needed, some fun is an investment for the spirit." Then I said this: " If all you ever deal with in your relationship is problems ......then..... your marriage becomes a problem. They sold the house and got 54,000 each. He listened and went on to see the importance of healthy moderation.........

[@midasapprentice8670]

"If all you ever deal with in your relationship is problems ......then..... your marriage becomes a problem", wise axiom. 👍🏽

[@learningisfun2108]

Great comment. Luckily, I have a wife who knows how to spend to enjoy life as I veer towards always saving. Balance is key. Invest in your relationships. Wife, kids, friends. Listening to “Cat’s in the Cradle” always chokes me up: lost relationship: 🎶“He'd grown up just like me, ya, My boy was just like me”. 🎶. 😢

[@kimberlyfink1032]

Not true for us. We ran to the problems vs let them fester. We found each others company fun. I think too many people think problems resolve with time without any engagement. So they avoid problems and divorce because they are tired of the problems not solving themselves. Run to the problem and enjoy each others company facing the issues

[@lecothers]

I feel you 100% because I also have more or less the same mindset. I still judge me after every purchase even though I convinced myself I needed in the beginning. affording hobbies is not we've grown up with, its good to see you implementing that in your life, and it is influencing

[@SeanSurajJeremiah]

Thanks for narrating my scarcity mindset struggles. It's hard for me to spend my surplus money and not feel guilty. I also am guilty of considering other people's spending on non necessities as frivolous.

[@ronaldzeoli7528]

I did this with a 11:59 bench sander. I toyed with it for months. Buy used buy new will i use it enough. I finally bought a new one on sale with my amazon gift cards from birthday and some cash. It cost me less from my out of pocket. that was a win. If i don't use it as much as i think,i told my son and grandson they are going to get a nice bench sander when i'am gone. I know it sounds crazy.

[@PopsSinging]

Really enjoy your videos, you articulate well the things that a lot of us experience but don't know to put into words and I generally get something from your videos to think about. Keep up the good work.

[@MissWeezeyUSA]

Many poor people buy bottled water 💦 as a “necessity” & have discretionary tattoos, salon nails/eyelashes, highlighted hair etc. (They never get it together to buy a one-time $30 water filter/pitcher that would free up those future bottled water expenses).

[@ridetonight33]

Wow, best videoI saw in quite a while! Both extreme ways are kind of easy to go: Spending as small as possible (with the downside of overthinking everything) and just buying everything that comes to your mind (but being broke). The hardest way to go is finding a good balance in the middle between both sides. Congratulations! Sounds like you found your way in the middle

[@sarahlhickman]

Profound and was like I was listening to old self with the “should I sell, should I enjoy” conundrum. Terrific video.

[@tednagel]

You get one lap of life. You've gotta live that life. Don't overdo it. Moderation is key.

[@Tryp-j9d]

You GET a lap EVERY SINGLE DAY, Honey!!!

[@TheCybertiger9]

I listen to music quite often and enjoy it. Most of the time I listen to MP3s off my computer via computer speakers. The speakers I use are nothing special and sound OK. Recently I heard some Bose speakers played through a laptop, and the sound blew me away, but at the time I couldn't justify the $200 price. But then they went on sale for $105, still a little more than what I wanted to spend. But then I convinced myself since i do enjoy listening to music, why deprive myself and miss out on the sound of these speakers. Sold.

[@sackwhack]

As someone who used to live paycheck to paycheck in their 20s, to someone who transitioned to be super frugal now in my 30s, I struggle a bit with being maybe a bit too frugal at times. It can be hard to strike the right balance. I feel like if you find genuine happiness when you spend the money, then go for it! No point in saving money forever and not live, right? On the other hand, be careful not to walk into the "lifestyle creep" trap by increasing your spending but not reaping in the increased happiness. For example, going out to eat every now and then makes it a fun experience but it looses its charm if you do it every day.

[@gawebm]

Just brilliant! I'm an old guy whose learned a lot. Not often I get impressed by brilliant insight these days. But you sure did. You are a very smart person that has special gifts of both insight, and communication. Very well done. You are an old sole in a younger persons body.

[@brucekennedy5274]

This was super helpful. It’s galvanised what I already suspected, I suffer from a scarcity mindset. I find myself resenting those who I see as extravagant, even when they can perfectly afford things they don’t essentially need, and the only one really suffering from that feeling is me. I do own some nice things and value the happiness they give, but I’ve gotten into a hole where I struggle and deny myself pleasures I could enjoy if I didn’t feel so guilty. Your video has encouraged me to lighten up and enjoy today without stressing so much about tomorrow.

[@theesilverghost]

While my childhood wasn't as financially restricted as many, I definitely learned to worry and fret about money from my mother. Despite having a good job and walking around with clothes and shoes that are getting quite worn, I will stress about and overanalyze buying a pair of sandals,.yet; don't think twice about buying a latte as the price of enjoying my local coffee shop's garden space.

[@GrowingonVancouverIsland]

Awesome video Nicole! Happiness and having fun is the spice of life! Enjoy while you can! Love your coffee machine story

[@caparn100]

I always have in the back of my mind that I don't want to end up dying with a load of money in the bank. This keeps me from being obsessive about saving.

[@puregold1725]

If you end up needing medical care for a significant disease you'll regret it. Im on the med Revlimid, the low dose is $15,000 a month. My copay is about $7,000 a month.

[@caparn100]

@@puregold1725 I live in the UK. So all medical care, drugs, etc is free for everyone on the NHS.

[@puregold1725]

I'm in usa also. Its crazy how much it costs. I agree with you.

[@puregold1725]

@@caparn100 just curious what your taxes are because I've read that counties with universal health care have high taxes. But it probably better than here in the usa.

[@caparn100]

@@puregold1725 In the UK there is zero income tax and national insurance contributions (NIC) on all income below £12,570, above that we pay 20% income tax and 8% NIC (28% total), above £50,270 we pay 40% income tax and 2% NIC (42%). Contributions to pensions are free from income tax and for some people also free from NIC. So for instance, someone with an annual salary of £70k would pay 28% on £37,700 (£10, 556) and 42% on £19,730 (£8,286) giving a total amount of tax and NIC of £18,842. If the person decided to put £20k of their salary into a pension that year they would pay a total of about £10k income tax and NIC.

[@joseagueros7549]

wow, as a psychotherapist that was 1 of the best self-reflecting moments a person can experience when sharing their genuine self.... aka "true self". This means we, or You, in this case, admit there is a mental component that was unhealthy and you changed that behavior into a healthy action. great job, Nicole.

[@robertdufour2456]

Thank you! This was an unusual and fascinating and enjoyable presentation!

[@moccaloto]

Perfect explanation of why the amount of money you spend on hobbies (coffee, 3d printing, sport, gaming, roleplaying, horses, whatever) should not be justified in the traditional way. Just spend as much as your wallet can safely and comfortably handle.

[@jeremiahreilly9739]

Dickens wrote: "Yearly expenses 10£. Yearly income 9£ 19 shillings. Misery. Yearly income 10£ 1 shilling. Happiness." Many people, perhaps most, are out of control financially. Financial management and investing are skills which can be learned. To save $100 is hard work. To grow $100 to $110 is hard work. To grow $100 million to $110 million is inevitable. The second stage of financial management is learning how to spend your money. That's what it's for!! This is actually harder than learning how to save in the first place. Bravo for buying the "upscale" espresso maker. I actually use a $25 Moka pot. Chacon à son goût.