This TikToker Claims to be a Vampire

[@missian6086]

Oh! She’s an energy vampire. Those are very real. Most of them work in offices.

[@Riehentar]

Yeah, can confirm. Some coworkers just ‘suck’ the life out of ya, especially if they are a Colin Robinson

[@Stickamajig]

They especially like to come from high schools.

[@AmrenMirit]

A yes the office vampire that hangs out in the break room and somehow makes you feel drained after speaking with them, also makes you wonder what they actually do...

[@shanegau4402]

Well to be fair could a blood vampire put their videos up on KZbin today.

[@Taxevader-gk9ms]

the only word that describes this couple perfectly is NERD

[@yanlingwei2109]

"I recharge by going to big events with lots of energy" Lady you aren't a vampire you're an extrovert 💀

[@phoenixthings]

Exactly, like gurl you ain't supernatural you just like being around people-

[@Giaiaonearth]

😂😂😂

[@mage1439]

@@phoenixthings And you know the feeling isn't mutual. Like, who wouldn't be annoyed by her?

[@eeeeee8829]

I mean is there a difference?

[@mintstitch2806]

wouldnt vampires wanna be alone tho like how tf does this make sense lmfaoo

[@BattleCatsQuestionMark]

This August claims to be a duck

[@THE-TRUE-Doi]

Ha

[@LordFarm]

😂😂 Take that haha

[@p-__]

My farts are better than August's farts.

[@NirichiRP]

This Duck claims to be an August

[@snoodgaming4528]

kasa jizo behaviours

[@applesaucer2442]

"the sun effects me pretty bad" *Uses a see through lace umbrella*

[@kirahhdrop]

Now hang on, i thought the lace was like at the ENDS of the umbrella 😭 but no that WHOLE THING IS LACE!

[@RacingEuphoria]

If you were actually a vampire you wouldn't have to alter your appearance to look like one

[@DesertRunner602]

And I highly doubt her diet is strictly blood.

[@kristinegangman7756]

If you're a vampire why would you say you're a vampire? You would think from all those years that they lived they would realize that admitting being a vampire is more of a hassle than pretending to be a human. Say you live in a place where crimes are high where people die, you are the first to be suspected. So why? Unless you're delusional and wants to be "unique and different". Prove to the world you are unique or something

[@umbrellacorp.]

​@@kristinegangman7756Exactly, real vampires don't go on social media. They stay out of attention and don't care what people think or say. Social media vampire are so fake with their act. My wife and I grew up with goth and we truly believed in our lifestyle. Don't care about social media, anything or anyone. We stopped because we grew out of it and we married and have a family.

[@xx-qv9tp]

No you STOP with your damn ‘logic’ lol

[@AlicesonHarvey]

Especially the fake fangs, wouldn't she have her own ones

[@jamjam445]

Hold on hold on hold on. They met.... at a STAKEHOUSE?!

[@larademiney7914]

Underrated comment 😂

[@SnaxTheSnaxolotl]

XD amazing, I can’t believe I missed that detail lol

[@the_channel_with_no_name]

😂😂😂

[@Alpha_Q_Up]

The fact that no one has opened a Steakhouse named "Van Helsings'" proves that we have failed as a society 😂

[@maniachazbin]

Must have been a KILLER date. With her level of delusion, if they spiked the wood, does that mean the 'stakes were high'?

[@ImASchizophrenic]

that small ass umbrella ain't doin' shit 💀

[@brandoncarmona7950]

Not only that, that shi is see through

[@opalyasu7159]

As someone who easily gets depressed under sunlight, I agree that it does nothing. It's too small and transparent

[@AlicesonHarvey]

It's getting attention, from everyone around her, I think that's the real reason she is carrying it around She is just itching for someone to ask, about the umbrella,so she can talk to someone new , about being a vampire, who doesn't drink blood

[@AlgorithimMaster]

How the hell does the sun make u depressed ​@@opalyasu7159

[@MoaiBusinessman]

She's getting incinerated by the sun 💀

[@nukeacitrus]

The dude gives off that "Your girlfriend think she's an actual vampire but you're just a chill guy so you don't question her sanity" energy.

[@Grump.y-OldMan]

Exactly. As long as she puts out, doesn't sneak blood into his food, he is good. Lol

[@YOURGAYBRO121]

I wouldn’t be surprised if her Boyfriend name is Edward Cullen lol

[@Angel-vb7bb]

He’s deep into the rp 😭☠️

[@Bumblebeerocks23]

"I've been told I'm an energy vampire" girl that's an insult you're an extrovert

[@gemjarv]

If you are not Colin Robinson , you are not an energy vampire

[@nicolewalker6894]

LOLOLOLOLOLOL girl, same. 😂😂😂

[@aubreymorgan9763]

I'm only a few minutes in and I can see how she'd be exhausting to be around

[@Gatsu_Gambino]

@@gemjarv Love that show! hahaha

[@sgshaday]

No. Its worse. It's basically people who are toxic and drain others.

[@briannam3140]

10:18 if she’s so afraid of the sun, that umbrella is doing nothing

[@bostonrailfan2427]

it’s a parasol and it’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to do…only she’s so full of crap it’s clearly a prop not an actual tool to help her stay safe

[@Ayykat15]

My thoughts exactly 😂😂 like this is all for a look, not protection.

[@apexvulture5415]

True, she must not get headaches under the sun anymore cause that umbrella isn't blocking shit. Maybe her child headaches were caused by something else and this whole time she has just given herself a fake diagnosis of "being a vampire." lmao

[@targard.quantumfrack6854]

@@bostonrailfan2427 a parasol is much thicker, this is une ombrelle (as "opposed" to a parapluie)

[@bostonrailfan2427]

@ it’s literally a freaking parasol: the same ones used in the Victorian Era by ladies, based on the same patterns, used for light shade and not actually thick like you claim

[@wilkothewilkoman]

When I was young, I firmly believed I was an alien. Turns out I'm autistic. Which is almost the same.

[@-He4v3N_1s_Fu1L-]

bro too real it's the same for me😭😭😭

[@Bumblebeerocks23]

Get out of my head lol

[@x.x_c4nn1b4l.cupc4k3z_x.x]

when i was a tween i thought everyone else was an alien. turns out i'm autistic AND schizophrenic.

[@Jellyfish_king]

I’m a alien but we’re just jellyfish from a different planet

[@ac_corpse]

No way same lol

[@DocBree13]

Calling a person a psychic vampire is one of the worst insults I’d ever use on someone. It’s not something to be proud of, it’s something to get therapy to overcome.

[@roozief9349]

Collin robinson

[@victoriasalter1701]

This is not okay. The real vampire subculture are an actual thing and deserve the same respect that they actually highly value as a community…

[@sgshaday]

​@victoriasalter1701 Psychic vampires are part of that subculture tho...

[@MRKetter81]

Worst insults? Oh you're one of the Karen's creating a massive neurotic scare.

[@cuz5613]

Are we not going to talk about how she is a “vampire” but has sunlight beaming through every window onto her, and has a transparent umbrella in broad daylight? She should’ve been ash a long while ago.

[@MoviesFreeGalore]

Thats Hollywood vampires, don't be a racist.

[@nghi-lan]

Also if she WAS a real vampire, she would also be condemned by everyone bc there are a lot of (mainly religious) people who don’t like vampires so why is she so pressed about people calling her a sinner (bc if she really was a vampire she would be a sinner) And obviously she isn’t people call her out for which she also doesn’t like. (Abt hate comments, no one wants hate and I understand why she may be upset about that but) I don’t understand why she she’s so pressed about stating the obvious truth 😭 (I hope it’s readable, all my working braincells tried but I feel as though it’s not comprehensive enough, English is also not my first language lmao)

[@LegobuiIderman]

And she literally puts fake teeth on in a part, the sun has been on her multiple times, she also eats garlic and doesn’t drink blood so she is the exact opposite of a vampire lol

[@cuz5613]

@nghi-lan I read and understand, she’s the one that posted on the internet telling everyone that she is a real vampire but that doesn’t mean everyone is going to play into her delusion.

[@nghi-lan]

@cuz5613 that's true. If you don't want to deal with criticism, don't post. The internet is filled with all kinds of people, so there's bound to be negativity no matter what (even when the creator is in the right)

[@drexyspivey]

Everyone knows real vampires are much better at applying makeup than this.

[@JillKidd-s1l]

I was going to make the same comment! 🤣

[@AMKmusic96]

They don’t need makeup they are natural beautiful to humans

[@JillKidd-s1l]

@AMKmusic96 yes!

[@dwightrenfield2241]

@AMKmusic96 - vampires, in the original sense - are repulsive and monstrous. They are the living dead that feed off the living, after all. Hollywood vampires are the pretty ones.

[@keeper3499]

Exactly my thoughts. Lol looks like she used a bunch of magic markers or something. 😂

[@pastureprincesss]

her man won’t even look at her when she’s talking about this stuff 😭 he’s staring at the floor the whole time he’s not talking lol

[@TalaIsDarker]

I feel like he is just playing along.

[@jmor-_-.656]

He was more excited when their "friend" Ryan showed up.😏

[@Opeyemi.sanusi]

That dude isn't straight

[@ItsBugtronic]

Bro is disassociating, every time she talks his brain goes into self protect mode so he can't absorb any of this garbage.

[@Theoceanwitch11111]

I would be embarassed as well 😭😭

[@BuRn_FrN]

I didn’t know I could roll my eyes so much I saw the back of my head

[@darkrossboss]

I like how she retroactively removes requirements of being a vampire in order to classify herself as one “they don’t actually need to die from garlic, also they don’t burn up in the sun, they just get headaches, also they don’t have fangs they put them on, also there’s actually a subclass called an ‘energy vampire’ because you don’t have to drink blood”

[@pixie12]

In all fairness, that’s what’s been done with vampires in literature all the time. So I’m less bothered by her rules and more bothered by the delusion.

[@ghostthelizard]

The sun thing was made up by a movie. In folklore vampires usually were just nocturnal not really allergic to the sun. However yeah its weird how she claims to need energy but has sharp fangs and tbh she forgot the most important vampire requirement that would set them apart from say a demon which might also suck out energy and that is that vampires are undead

[@StrangeScaryNewEngland]

@@ghostthelizard I'm pretty sure the first famous vampire movie where they die from sunlight is Nosferatu, right?

[@TheIntruderrrrrrr]

"I am a dog but I walk on two feet because dogs do not speficically walk on all fours. Also I do not have fangs because there are dogs with no fangs. And I can talk because a dog does not systematically bark. And my body is not covered with fur because some dogs do not have fur. And I have hands with 5 fingers yeah but technically dogs have hands with 5 fingers too. And I do not have 8 nipples because a dog can also have only 2 nipples..."

[@paintpink7300]

I love the “are you ready for me to take some of energy” and he answers with the dead, no energy tone of voice. He looks and sounds like he needs to take a nap first.

[@stanclark8824]

See, she really is the energy taker. She could kill a whole party mood instantly. Keep her away from parties that people want to enjoy.

[@SawyerJensen69]

Yeah Fr tho IMAO lol!!!

[@Dianaaaabb]

He looks like Edward Cullen from Wish.

[@JillKidd-s1l]

​@@Dianaaaabb I can't unsee it now!!! 😂

[@DollarDuds]

I have chronic cluster headaches, and sunlight is one of my triggers, I guess I am a vampire 😮

[@biannathesparklequeen9210]

I guess I am one too

[@WobblesandBean]

I'm pale and anemic, by gum I must be a vampire!

[@selinalovesdogs]

i also have headaches from very bright sun or staying in the sunlight for too long. guess half of the world is a vampire 🧛🏻‍♀️

[@gozzilla177]

I get sunburnt if I google pictures of the 🌞 I'm pretty sure I'm a 🧛‍♂️ 🦇

[@missycitty9478]

Same!! ( But in all seriousness, I sympathize! I suffer from daily cluster headaches! It's brutal!!).

[@carly4082]

"I'm not delusional I'm definitely a vampire" puts a crappy pair of fangs in 😂😂😂

[@NopeNaw]

"I'm not delusional" is the most delusional thing one can possibly say.

[@RacingEuphoria]

This might be the nail in the coffin for TikTok vampires

[@okami-chan9772]

More like a wooden stake

[@NASCAR_STOP_MOTION]

hahahahahahaha

[@kevinserna809]

JESUSCHRISTISKING

[@arakano]

​@@okami-chan9772 Here's hoping.

[@p-__]

My farts are better than August's farts.

[@Drfeelgood_]

Imagine vampires are real and they reveal themselves to us to let us know they don’t claim this woman😂.

[@theclash24]

Imagine the horror if they did and DID claim her as theirs

[@Shinymewkiwi]

"yo dudes, Draculafan594 here, i do *NOT* agree with this"

[@toppvpfighter]

5:49 i looked up what a energy vampire is and bro roasted her self. shes basically saying every social group would hate her. like a energy vampire is someone who would always want to be the center basically that one friend in high school you want to give a uh not so kind tab, or [full result on google] Energy vampires are people who tend to prey on highly sensitive, empathetic, and happy people and feed off of their kindness and compassion until they leave them drained of their energy. she dues seem like a energy vampire to me, maybe she is right that explains the boys friends leaving him.

[@rangerchief8004]

So she is a Democrat.

[@keeper3499]

Your glasses. Your eyes… your glasses make your eyes look ridiculous. Lol like a muppet or something. Lol 😂

[@DogFlamingoXIII]

I had a friend that said he was a vampire/werewolf hybrid that was a mage that had been reincarnated throughout history (since Ancient Egypt) and remembered all his lifetimes. He kept that up, until his *EARLY THIRTIES*. I'm pretty sure that he finally stopped telling people this, because the mother of his baby was upset that their son was repeating this kind of thing and was afraid it would cause problems for him if he continued, and to his credit, he took that to heart. He didn't want to actively hurt his child *like that*.

[@Benjamin69-k1t]

My question is how did he get a wife and kid in the first place while acting like this?!

[@teddine7366]

His girlfriend probably didn't want that behavior repeated for good reason. She probably didn't want her kid getting picked on in school and teachers being concerned for her kid. And yes @Benjamin69-k1t, it is a mystery to how this guy hooked up with a girl playing pretend like a 5 year old boy. Lol.

[@sylvie4084]

@@Benjamin69-k1tnot his wife, just a girl who liked his “weird alt boy” vibe and got pregnant with his kid before the gravity of the situation became apparent

[@cassie.m.0723]

I had a similar "friend" (I wasn't really friends with her but she was the girlfriend of my actual friend) She was in her mid-30s when I met her, and she had been claiming for YEARS that she was the reincarnated Vlad Tepes... But not the one from history. No. The one from the Castlevania games. She said the games were based on a true story, and that she had lived all of it, was reincarnated now as an overweight, one-eyed, trailer trash woman, and that her girlfriend was the reincarnated Lisa Tepes. AND THEN she tried to rope me into it by telling she that she "senses an old soul" in me, and surprise surprise, I was her reincarnated SERVANT. 😂 Needless to say I've long since stopped talking to her and her gf entirely

[@StarseedResistance]

Reincarnation is extremely real so is energy manipulation spirit science paranormal. However a lot of people in a spiritual community love to make crap up about their past lives and get egotistical about it.

[@BlazingTomato]

Her: "I'm a vampire" Also her: *just casually walking out in the sun*

[@JadeKitsuneuwu]

she’s one of Dio’s vampires lmao

[@theclash24]

I mean Dracula walked in sunlight too lol

[@theclash24]

Dracula walked in sunlight

[@FUNREAR-s8w]

Thats only for vamps under 40 days educate yourself racist

[@sollyfan]

Fun fact, vampires having a weakness to sunlight started with the original Nosferatu movie.

[@Sotweetie]

If Elvira here was actually allergic to the sun she would probably have a real black umbrella instead of a lace one.

[@tangentartists6876]

Do not take our Mistress of the Night's unholy name in vein!!

[@500ccRabbit]

Silence heritic!

[@persephoneblack888]

She can't even a little bit compare to Elvira 😂

[@CZombies25]

There's only one blade, and there's only ever gonna be one blade

[@AceJackWagon885]

what does this even mean

[@J-iq9de]

​​@@AceJackWagon885 Like the marvel character Blade. Also I don't know 😂

[@Rotten.Potatoes.]

Can I point out, just real quick... vampires don't have a reflection 3:47

[@bearz5036]

Maybe that doesn't apply for energy vampires.

[@Techno_Halo]

Maybe they could see their reflection in the modern day with modern mirrors

[@Rotten.Potatoes.]

@bearz5036 according to Google, they do have a reflection but apparently it shows an emaciated and haggard figure, not their actual appearance.

[@Rotten.Potatoes.]

@@Techno_Halo what's a modern mirror?

[@davidryansargent6731]

The mirror did not know she was a vampire because she didn't have her vampire clothes on.

[@MrGoatskin]

Also; if she's a psychic vampire, why does she have fangs?

[@bostonrailfan2427]

only posers wear them, real deal ones only need alcohol wipes(can’t be too careful drinking energy!)

[@PaldeanWoopa]

Because she puts them on

[@DoomedPi77]

Because she thinks an energy vampire is an actual vampire 🤦‍♂️

[@raventripp6181]

So she can steal our energy by taking about it of course.

[@kaineandrews3790]

Because otherwise you wouldn’t look at her, see something odd, and proceed to do a double take, ask questions, or commence with the insults. She’s not a psychic or energy vampire… she’s an attention vampire. Without that, she’d die. Like most TikTokers.

[@Unknown-UpTown-Resident]

Wouldn't a vampire have superior eyesight and not need such *THICK* glasses? 🤣

[@GirlOnTheBalcony]

I mean bats do have bad eyesight so maybe we’re in the wrong

[@cam3851]

Guys, ffs 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@gozzilla177]

​@@GirlOnTheBalcony and garlic is a natural blood thinner, so it's likely a lie told by big vamp to season us 😂

[@missycitty9478]

​@@GirlOnTheBalcony 😂😂

[@666_kaosritual_]

⚫ ⚫ 👄

[@TurbatusTheFurious]

If she's a vampire, why does she have a reflection in that mirror?

[@ryanspalding6524]

Funny thing is, vampires do ask for consent. Its just not to "absorb your energy." Its to be let into your house since vampires cant enter a home if the home owner doesn't agree to the vampire entering. Also why the hell does she need fangs if she doesn't suck blood? Isnt the entire point of fangs meant to be able to pierce flesh?

[@bradblumhof6917]

Well, her BF has a really long neck, so if she decides to start sucking blood, he'll be easy pickins.

[@raventripp6181]

Myth blood drinking vampires have long sharp thumb nails to stab their prey biting and tearing of flesh with teeth can cause a flesh eating bacteria outbreak always want to keep your prey healthy incase you can't find a better source. The difference about energy vampires even talking about them give them energy rather it be about something good or something bad. The blood type of vampires they stay hidden and keep themselves on the down low.

[@TheLastPiecePizza-Alex-]

Yo wtf true. Get this man to top ong ong

[@musek5048]

if you haven't noticed logic does not exist in the minds of the delusional.

[@TheLastPiecePizza-Alex-]

@@musek5048 This shit isnt even delusional anymore its more similar to hallucination.

[@wigglemelon8807]

"I Married a Real Life Vampire and Lost My Friends" sounds like an amazing anime that would take you on an emotional journey

[@ijustwantedausername]

Omg it does!

[@wigglemelon8807]

@ijustwantedausername if I had the talent, I'd make it myself 😂

[@ijustwantedausername]

@@wigglemelon8807 I call dibs on being a voice actor in it 🤘

[@wigglemelon8807]

@ijustwantedausername oh absolutely! At this point you've earned a producer credit and a leading role 🎬

[@shilohosborne322]

​@@ijustwantedausername I'll gladly watch it

[@Madison-iw8ix]

She's certainly feeding off August's emotional negative energy.

[@SawyerJensen69]

Yeah Fr tho IMAO lol!!!

[@iandemorest1892]

Your commentary makes this so ducking funny 🤣I wonder how she explains away the fact she still needs regular food after her "energy feeding"

[@Alan_da_goth]

As a former vampire kindergartner, we kinda just forget we think we're a vampire. Or we get bullied out of it 🥲

[@xX4L3XX4ND3RXx]

Or simply just outgrow it

[@timfunnydragon]

Idk Abt y'all, I kinda grew into it and never had an elementary/middle school phase

[@p-__]

My farts are better than August's farts.

[@Addy-ve1yc]

I was not a vampire kindergartner, but I feel like I was meant to be and the universe just forgot and went "oh, how'd we miss that one? whatever, give 'em rocks at ten, we're making witches now" so yeah, that's more or less how I ended up with a cigar box of rabbit bones Also, like you pfp

[@JigMeister1]

I wasn't a vampire in elementary school but rather acted like a cat and man did I get bullied and that died off in fourth grade so I'm grateful in a sense that I'm not like that no more.

[@Naitohana]

She watched What We Do in the Shadows and had a lightbulb moment so she could avoid blood

[@kimsomniac2144]

"what we do in the shadows" is an amazing show! This chick can't hold a candle to Colin. Colin Robinson is a powerful energy vampire...but maybe she is draining us with cringe.

[@JimboDoomface]

What she's talking about and what Colin is has been around for decades. I remember reading about "psychic vampires" twenty something years ago and thinking some of my friends are probably psychic vampires. You're probably right though, she prob did get it from WWDITS

[@fizazainab-rz3qd]

you know it's a great day when the title isn't part of the situation situation

[@ijustwantedausername]

Hahahaha

[@cassiehartford8997]

THIS

[@SawyerJensen69]

Yeah Fr tho IMAO lol!!!

[@ZaikRap]

I must be surrounded by this energy sucking "vampires" 😂 I called them extroverts.

[@ravenspurplebeats5412]

she walks out in daylight, isnt afraid of cross and wears fake teeth, like cmon thats somthing real vampire would never do and she is delusional which isnt a insult.

[@chasehedges6775]

Exactly

[@jablanbukvovski]

what real vampire?

[@BreakofDawn]

@10:30 she says she livestreams as a fictional vampire. Sounds like she knows she not a real vampire

[@nate9948]

It’s all for money, the OF should give it away

[@pudgesnextturnaround3112]

She may have a mental problem, but we don't know for sure, but based on husband's body language i think he wants his wife to stop

[@CarissaEllyn]

What We Do In The Shadows would beg to differ about energy vampires

[@KodieTheAussieBrony94]

IKR

[@CarissaEllyn]

@ COLIN ROBINSON

[@SawyerJensen69]

Yeah Fr tho IMAO lol what would we do in the shadows?!!!

[@shrouded8797]

That parasol she is using...does literally nothing to block the sun.😂

[@squeekytheanimefreak]

Yeah, I hate it when people pretend to be something they aren’t and then force that persona on the rest of us.

[@DaleBagley-g8m]

2:40 I have that exact same scythe, got it at Spirit Halloween for $10

[@TBX-j8u]

Idk why this is so funny to me 💀😭

[@cinder4181]

Same!

[@VampireHellie]

It’s lit

[@TBX-j8u]

@@VampireHellie I did not expect you to be here 😭

[@PlaguedDarkness]

Same lmao xD

[@amberwillard3199]

2:34 There are circles that believe "Energy Vampires" are infact very real. They are people who come across a very friendly and extroverted and tend to be around for the drama in friend groups of not being the one to stir it up. "EV"s thrive on draining others of their energy. After an encounter with an "EV" some claim to be left feeling emotionally drained or depressed for several days afterwards.

[@MB-lz5eb]

What's the psychological explanation for this? (asking both "what causes people to feel emotionally drained or depressed after interacting with EVs?" and "what motivates people to drain others?")

[@dwilson9546]

Google the article Psychic Vampires! Occultism in the Nineteenth Century Very informative about the historical origins of psychic vampires in the 1800s

[@hyde1893]

well, he certainly looks like she feeding off his energy

[@Backwoodz207]

Energy vampire….yeah someone watched too much “What we do in the Shadows”😂😂 ok Colin Robinson

[@amberwillard3199]

@@ColletteKelly Agree! This (energy vampires) isn't something I personally believe, I used to run in some eccentric circles and conversation could get pretty wild some nights.

[@nr12345]

The worst part, her boyfriend is obviously far crazier than her.

[@aryangirllie]

exactly

[@darbarasingh9039]

Honestly yea,he's playing into his girlfriend's delusion

[@mrchief7836]

Guys, I have to come out about something. Im actually an AH-64 apache attack helicopter. Ive known this since when I was 6, I threw a firecracker and it was kind of like a missle. Everyday I go outside and spin around in circles in my front lawn screaming DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO and flapping my arms. Im still waiting to be bought by the US government and used for operation desert storm. Wish me luck boys

[@AceJackWagon885]

remember, no russian

[@biggayfeline]

I cackled out loud at work.

[@Subject-green_2011]

Your a psychic AH-64 apache attack helicopter, gotta get the type right! (This is a joke lmao)

[@liamlowenthal8476]

My favorite is always, when people do take up these claims, saying I'm this and that - it's always the ATTRACTIVE side of this and that. You don't see anybody trying to walk around looking like Nosferatu or the older depictions of real vampire lore. No, they always aim for the Anne Rice depictions, the Edward.. whatever the hell his last name is depictions. The cute, the hot, the sexy. And they're ALWAYS gravitating around gothica decor whenever they do stuff with their homes. That's not what a vampire is. XDDD I'm sorry, I majored in ancient religion, world history and mythology and boy man.. these types of people crack me up. It's obvious because they're cherry picking modern lore. They probably don't know what an Assyrian even is. lol

[@jadenkumar5654]

fr

[@SawyerJensen69]

Yeah Fr tho IMAO lol!!!

[@pororou]

oh i would love to hear you talk about this!!

[@trustworthydan]

To be fair. This girl is probably 25 years old at most, it's probably the only "vampire lore" that she even knows.

[@j4nk3n]

That and I can't imagine having a debilitating need for human viscera is actually very glamorous in practice, probably need a whole society working together in secret to make dinner time possible too without it being alarmingly obvious

[@questtherebelgaming]

The Masquerade is gonna be pissed once the find out she's out here telling everyone she's a Vampire lmao 🤣

[@streetreelspdx]

😂

[@theclash24]

Or the Cam laugh because she's getting all the tropes wrong so it only helps lol

[@questtherebelgaming]

@ you got a point lol 😂

[@CDS.26]

You would think a vampire wouldn’t need glasses that thick to see. lol

[@EcoMouseChannel]

She has a reflection... NOT a real vampire. Has to add fake teeth... NOT a real vampire. Supposed "day-walker"?... NOT a real vampire. Doesn't "Feed on Blood".... NOT a real vampire. Blind as a bat... Well, OK maybe that's legit

[@wrenithilduincats]

3:56 She does realize that if she was a vampire, she wouldn't show up in mirrors, and probably not camera, either, right?

[@nocturnaltruthseeker]

That's false though. The idea that vampires don't have reflections is because early mirrors were made with silver. Silver is considered holy and that is why it does show their reflection. Modern mirrors don't use silver so there isn't anything to stop their reflection

[@wrenithilduincats]

@nocturnaltruthseeker I guess your right. I was just using what I remember seeing in tv shows and stuff lol

[@Bluntz1289]

That depends on which clan she is from 😂😂😂😂

[@SoldierYena]

@@nocturnaltruthseeker Question: isn't light also holy? That is why they are allergic to sunlight? So why would it be the material of the mirror and not the physics acting upon it that is holy enough to nullify the vampire? Not trying to be a dick. I still think this is hilariously ridiculous. But just a food for thought kind of conversation.

[@aarons8143]

It's recorded on a mirrorless camera

[@RacingEuphoria]

These people just keep coming out of the woodwork

[@p-__]

My farts are better than August's farts.

[@SawyerJensen69]

Yeah Fr tho IMAO lol!!!

[@DanielFifeM]

If she is an energy vampire, why does she have the fangs......

[@trainguy69]

god forbid people have fun?

[@vib.9027]

@trainguy69at what point does fun cross over into debilitating delusion?

[@kazu9445]

@trainguy69 fun = cosplaying, pretending. Delusion = actually genuinely believing you're a vampire.

[@trainguy69]

@@kazu9445 so what? you makin it sound like its a you problem

[@AiColonel]

@trainguy69 Is it not? Lol she’s not 6, it’s time to stop pretending

[@mp5249]

I think we all learned from TWILIGHT that vampires sparkle and are beautiful. 😂😂

[@Lilstitchy626]

7:22 vampires dont put there fangs in they just grow out.😂😂😂

[@centrevezgaming4862]

Yeah after becoming a full vampire and has fuller hair and breasts and should be wearing white if the vampire is female in tradition.

[@iidentifyasadoctor]

I was about to comment that lmao. This delusional crap is so old

[@Talenel]

She's an "energy vampire" why does she even need the fangs?

[@rangerchief8004]

I wonder if she glitters when in direct sunlight 🤔🤣

[@MaskedCommenter]

And vampires aren't in the sunlight lol

[@snippedtiex]

Small tip: if you get headaches in sunlight (or bright light in general) it might be because of you squinting your eyes, just push your fingers on one side of your forehead and pull them to the other side (massaging the Muskels in your forehead) for most ppl this solves it.

[@RoseKindred]

I have been accused of being one, and honestly, if I was in the 1,400's I would not make it. I am UV sensitive, have better night vision, used to have PICA, low vit-D (like sometimes single digits), OCD, even my canines were sharp and proud before someone filed them down. But, I still had a reflection. If she is happy, good for her, BUT, don't expect others not to laugh.

[@MayorGoldieWilson825]

1,400's?

[@RoseKindred]

@@MayorGoldieWilson825 Roughly the time of Vlad from Romania (Walachia). There are other time periods of Vampire-like myths, but his is the most well known.

[@chelseyb2626]

Me too! i get this horrible rash if i stay out in the sun longer than 5 minutes without sunscreen, and even high SPF ones usually only cover me for 30-40 minutes. Never been able to tan or go to the beach 😢

[@bostonrailfan2427]

she’s putting on a show for attention, not even she believes the claims she’s making

[@sophaloph1129]

Ayyy my vitamin D is also often in the single digits! now I’m on pills and daily sun time. But mostly the pills help LOL

[@TiredTurtl3]

"im a vampire" as she proceeds to put fake teeth in

[@Infinity.Plus.1]

They're transvamps.

[@nagisa3523]

kid in ur school was like " I CAST BLEACH MORTAL"

[@shaywilliams9223]

😂

[@Shinymewkiwi]

"I CAST ACID THROW! PARRY THIS YOU FILTHY PLEBEIAN"

[@Stylinerious]

10:34 She just outed herself she said her job is being a fictional vampire

[@EvisceratingDoubts]

No you see it's like if an actual nurse dressed as a sexy nurse. She's a real vampire but roleplays as the fake ones from fiction /j

[@AmeerSlaughter]

​@@EvisceratingDoubts "real" vampire

[@plaguebunnyproductions]

2:17 Of course it had to be Ohio

[@nataliamagdalenanowak]

Is Ohio full of weirdos or sm? Bc I am from Europe and I have no idea what’s going on in Ohio xd

[@Nicoa06]

@@nataliamagdalenanowak Ohio’s a meme, people on tiktok say the landmark for weird shit happening in the US

[@Mastcomputerman]

Dude. I live in Ohio. I know people who legitimately thought they were vampires. My one friend looked exactly like the guy in the video. Stopped hanging out with him like a decade ago because i can't stand fake ego.

[@Mastcomputerman]

​@@nataliamagdalenanowakOhio is a weird place. It's always gloomy kind of like London.

[@Mastcomputerman]

Our weather actually has left most of our people stuck inside with vitamin D deficiencies and mental illness issues. Sad truth of living here.

[@JarradIsSus1810]

If she was a vampire she wouldn't be able to do her own makeup because she wouldn't have a reflection in a mirror

[@madamefluffy4788]

3:00 - dude looks so defeated/done with it all.

[@Daniellawrightt]

She “took his energy” that’s why😭

[@amaris7968]

0:38 love how she’s supposed to be a vampire but she has a reflection

[@sokokokoko]

Apparently the reason they couldn't be seen in mirrors was because old mirrors were made from silver and supernatural creatures tend to be weak to silver. So since modern mirrors aren't made of silver this singular fact gets a pass 😂

[@Fw_Usil]

3:11 "darling it's time to collect your vital energy" "Yes honey..."

[@Shyinka]

They're like the real life version on the "my witch wife, me doing whatever the hell she wants" meme lmao

[@Gundamman]

The sex must be out of this world for the guy to lose all his friends.😂

[@eddieford9373]

This woman has no idea what a vampire is.

[@lexirose5257]

8:15 the real ones saw the mug

[@amelliamendel2227]

You're Too much 😂😂

[@JessicaAdams-x6m]

I ♡ to fart

[@johanjotun1647]

He broke character with the "She likes Blood Sausage" crack

[@HananahBanana]

Idk about anyone else, but this has got to be one of the funniest videos August has done. I am weezing with laughter here.

[@PUCCl_]

2:41 found what looks to be this exact Halloween decoration listed on eBay for like 11 dollars as: “Grim Reaper Halloween Costume Skull Scythe Staff Kids Scary Death 33 Inches”

[@VanillaHazeI]

I saw it in spirit of Halloween 😭

[@mimz1173]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@TBX-j8u]

💀💀💀💀

[@GK_Squid]

She discovers she's an energy vampire 2 years after what we do in the shadows and thinks it's a normal thing

[@calebtorres9714]

Haven’t they watched Twilight? They never learn their lessons…

[@chasehedges6775]

Also, the Twilight movies are so laughably bad LOL!

[@SawyerJensen69]

Yeah Fr tho IMAO lol!!! I haven't watched it either!!!

[@jolielavey1769]

thats why theyre so good tho 😂​@@chasehedges6775

[@mikeyhope7577]

If someone was a vampire, they wouldn’t go around telling everyone they’re a vampire.

[@mr.coolguy8513]

This is your 3rd video about a vampire! HOW MANY VAMPIRES CAN THERE BE?!

[@Star-spotted_Ceilings]

There’s probably a whole community tbh

[@evanbrown4820]

Search up "Vampire clubs in LA" You'll get lists of the top 10, so there's quite a few. And for them to all stay in business there must be a pretty sizable community. And that's just in LA, granted it's a major city, but still.

[@karinrandall855]

One! Ah ah ahhh! Two! Ah ah ahhh! Three! Ah ah ahhh!.....

[@stanclark8824]

There are clubs and bars for them.

[@xx-qv9tp]

As many as there are asylums closed…..

[@Mr.Maskss]

Glad I have garlic in my kitchen

[@FreakTesticals]

Glad I’m on the registry 🙏

[@gozzilla177]

Garlic is a natural blood thinner, technically it would make it easier to drink 😂 big vamp lied to season you haha

[@Mr.Maskss]

@@gozzilla177 don't you know it kills them? Smh

[@gozzilla177]

@@Mr.Maskss or was that a rumor spread by them so you taste better and have easier to drink blood? Big vamp has fooled us I think! 🧛‍♀️

[@natashaunfiltered]

Okay... but am I the only one who laughs a little unintentionally every time August says sim-u-lar instead of similar? I love it 😂

[@LunaryxDiarmait]

But what about sim-a-lar?

[@Starterman_a]

I'm only now realizing that's not how tou pronounce it.

[@emorytucker5467]

"vampires don't exist" You ain't met my ex-wife

[@livvlife]

August saying “oh, so you’re a poser…” cracked me up lmaooo

[@PapaGeorgeVr]

3:25 i mean... They gotta ask before coming inside so...

[@dannygreens5112]

Booooiiii you just made me spit my drink

[@Potato198T]

True but…weird wording…

[@random_internetperson]

"Open the window [[insert name here]]"

[@LinkiePup]

That goes back to demons, and other evil spirits. You, have to willingly open your home, and thus yourself to evil. Meaning acts that the “demons” make you commit, is in reality all your own fault. That then got translated to Vampires, and has stuck since. Also the reason why Vampires don’t show up in mirrors, is because mirrors were made out of Silver way back when. Silver was seen to have holy properties, and would cast away evil. That’s why it’s the one thing that can kill a werewolf.

[@dannygreens5112]

@@LinkiePup *woosh*

[@WylieWolfenstein]

How a normal person enjoys the vampire experience: obtain vampirism in a fantasy mmo rpg and roleplay, it's a much more respectable way to be a vampire.

[@gozzilla177]

I wanna be a hybrid! Let me be a warewolfpire! Lol

[@saiyamoru]

Literally nobody can make me respect LARPers more than the person who pretends that this stuff is real (and try to convince others).

[@chrisphillips2401]

Im pretty sure if you look at the lore concerning vampires, they don't need glasses 😂

[@robertdoherty2001]

5:12. Vampires have no souls; they are undead yet not living, according to the fictional lore.

[@davidthedreamer0]

she done messed up

[@SQUIDELIZA]

She saw what we do in the shadows and took it seriously and that’s the funniest thing ever.

[@ThePittpa63]

They don't have reflections either

[@Oscar92839]

Bro might as well be from transylvania

[@meh79]

Can we all agree that this woman knows she's not a vampire? I hope she doesn't believe she is because she has told herself this so many times.

[@purplehayes1993]

Interview with a Vampire was my favorite movie as a young child. I wanted to be a vampire so bad when I grew up. 😂

[@KrewsaderMonkey]

I had a friend who really thought he was a vampire but he wasn't acting wierd, he just proclaimed he was a vampire

[@brandoncarmona7950]

If there was real vampire they wouldn’t tell the world they’re vampires

[@jeicedorin5862]

Yea that will break the masquerade.

[@JustAnAngelx]

This dude's just happy to have the goth gf

[@Isntmycatcute]

0:40 in my school, there were kids that believed they were millioneres. 😂

[@dark_beach7]

How do people physically trick themselves to being something different from a human

[@silly-yamo]

You can’t physically trick yourself to be something, only mentally.

[@adryelalves4501]

@@silly-yamo that's why it's a trick, ain't real

[@silly-yamo]

@@adryelalves4501 I know! But there’s a difference between physical and mental.

[@silverserpent420]

Being a human isn't as popular as you think. Didn't you ever wish to be that lazy cat or dog in your house? Ever wish to be a bird that can soar high over all the yuk that life can bring? Granted we don't all act on said feeling. But I can at the very least understand the why. I hope they find that missing piece. Peace be with you. 💚

[@silverserpent420]

​@@silly-yamoalways that one. You know enough about what they meant. Why be mean on top of that? You're very superior. Hope it brings you genuine happiness. Ffs.

[@cacklebabygg6156]

I think her boyfriend is going along with it as a joke

[@Advocate1215]

Husband

[@knockofftasty9693]

@@Advocate1215he has a long neck

[@AudioReplica2023]

If thats her boyfriend ...he needs to do better cuz she feels like needs way more attention

[@IamHOB]

@@knockofftasty9693🦒

[@SomeRandomYouTuber2024]

Must be crazy in the sheets

[@labj143]

5:34 Hey August, love your content, but as someone who loves Cryptids and myths, not all vampires drink blood. Vampire has become an umbrella term for any supernatural that steals energy. Not to mention the original use of the word, didn't refer to something that sucked blood specifically. But also, this lady just seems like an attention seeker. I've met people who have similar "lifestyles", that don't feel the need to go on interviews like this(or take such gothic styled photos as if to prove something). It's honestly a little insulting for her to act like this. Edit: I also want to add that she is not the only person who does this so publicly, there are hundreds of accounts of vampire "cosplayers".

[@dmachine6140]

I've learned something new today

[@Jules-y6v]

As always, you bring out the best of news and keep us entertained.

[@Shadow_1287]

I am about to crash out. Why do you want to be a vampire because then you can’t eat some of the best foods like garlic bread and garlic parmasian noodles

[@FivePebbles-e8s]

If someone were actually a vampire they would want to stay hidden, I don’t know how these people don’t realize this.

[@CozygorlUS]

This is obviously a special breed of vampire called TikTokus Vampirus who need to feed off the lolz of the community

[@saiyamoru]

If you redefine 'energy' as 'attention', it makes perfect sense why she thinks she feeds off've that.

[@bepis1305]

The nostalgia for the late 90’s/early 2000’s vampire subculture is hitting me hard lol

[@elleash3040]

That feels more like 2010s thing… Twilight, Vampire Diaries, True Blood

[@lurklingX]

5:36 imma vampyre.... butt i donnt drinka de blooood. (so uh... what are the FANGS there for, then, sweetpea? rollin my eyes. make it make sense. there is literally no need for teeth for non bl00d vampires. it's not like the gallbladder of energy vampires lol, just haven't evolved to get rid of a useless thing yet.)

[@lycansoldier9512]

She’s a fruit vampire

[@tdm_nicky5603]

​@@lycansoldier9512i guess