Gazing into the abyss of Mr. Birchum

[@Kyran1996]

Birchum telling the kids not to tell their parents what they’re doing is pretty ironic, considering conservatives make a huge fuss over teachers being allowed to not tell parents if their kids are LGBTQ+.

[@CirianAlani]

Conservatives are hypocrites, news at 11.

[@DavidRYates-tk2tq]

Excellent point.

[@friday13thirteen]

tbh the fact that the hero protagonist is a teacher at all is pretty wild, considering every right wing influencer is constantly bleating about how homeschooling is the only solution to save our children from the woke mind virus. i guess maybe they were going for a ron swanson kind of thing, where the joke is that he hates the system he works in and actively tries to obstruct it, except people liked ron swanson and also the show is clearly not trying to say that he's correct and all the other characters are evil government libtards.

[@khrashingphantom9632]

I thought there was a grooming concern about to pop up…. 🫥

[@taylorrowe6928]

The most insane thing about this show is that shop teachers are almost non existent because of right wing efforts to cut school funding.

[@Saliferous]

Yup.

[@DewMan001]

Huh. Hey, DW lads, how's that battle against public schooling going for you? You going to be able to make a show that will be understandable for decades to come because of it?

[@PhilipReadArt]

Imagine if in Bob's Burgers, Bob hated burgers and cooking in general, resented having to cook for a living and rejected any opportunity to cook outside of work.

[@Toy_Tomb]

It’s like if the Family Guy wasn’t actually a family guy

[@Jane-oz7pp]

Nah see, that's been done, kinda, and because of the absurdism they added it was really good (Mr Meaty, of course)

[@555Soupy555]

​@Jane-oz7pp it's been done by conservatives for lifetimes, they never stop bitching and moaning

[@rocketamadeus3730]

I mean, he is still a curmudgeon otherwise, and a lot of the show is just to showcase that. At least when it's not about his family being weird for weirdness sake. Mr. Birchum *does* like tools, but the show is written terribly as opposed to mediocrely, and they got right wing freaks instead of voice actors.

[@altromonte15]

While also berating others for not cooking, complaining that kids these days don't want to cook, and being obsessed with cooking and kitchen tools

[@electric_whelk1653]

The plotline where his schoolkids do his housework for him really exemplifies the way conservatism's whole "remember when you could take pride in hard work?" is usually a dogwhistle for "remember when other people were happy to work for you?"

[@ChewyTwee]

Yeah and them forcing children to work for free is totttallllly different from all the ‘welfare queens’ who are profiting off everyone else’s labor

[@NotD-kp3by]

Also child labour is good apparently but yk think of the kids and all that

[@Ioganstone]

Ya slaves were happy if they weren't they would've just fought back that's a choice in my book

[@Egalitariat-likesecretariat]

"when others were happy************************************************************************ to work for you"

[@pippastrelle]

A teacher getting mad that all his pupils have no idea how to do his subject feels like a good joke in a different context

[@MrGruzefix]

Reminds me of my Latin teacher. Why do all of you suck?! Well lady, there is one thing we have in common... One time she had the our class write an exam, then there was a break and then she had the other class write THE SAME exam. I wrote down everything on a napkin and handed it over to a girl from the other class during break. We laughed our asses off afterwards and when the teacher went on about how we all sucked at the exam and how the other class was so good at it a few days later I dropped that fact loudly in front of the whole class. She flipped, started to berate me and frankly the class for a second then actually thought about it and went to the headmaster's office since she realized SHE had fucked up and might get into more trouble if she yelled at us now for doing something completely legal and expected. I could have memorized it after all. She wasn't out teacher the year after :P

[@just_matt214]

Had a graphic design professor like that in college.

[@GenesisTheKitty]

​@@MrGruzefix r/thathappened

[@sunblade704]

​@@GenesisTheKittyAh yes, nothing interesting ever happens in reallife. I was in a similar situation once, it's really not that outlandish

[@Melonist]

​@@GenesisTheKitty you have no whimsy

[@daithiodonnell2825]

They actually wrote that Britney Spears joke back when it was relevant, the frame rate is just so slow it didnt display until now.

[@KidVolcano]

😂

[@lukemccann8930]

It's crazy to me that this show is literally "and then everyone clapped" the show

[@klisterklister2367]

*clap clap clap* you did it shinji

[@mattelliott9766]

Yesss lmao! 100%

[@CesRaisons]

They went onto the r/AITA and searched out the very obviously fake and heavily incel

[@victoriablack355]

I saw someone describe it as a Mary sue story (in the sense that the plot is “look at x character aren’t they so cool and have no negative qualities and the world revolves around them?”)

[@somegal-89]

@@klisterklister2367 CONGRATULATIONS, SHINJI!

[@nlpnt]

My favorite running joke is that Karponzi the ridiculously over-the-top liberal strawman is the hardest-working guy on the faculty if not the whole town.

[@Lemoncakelover678]

Yeah for the conservative woodshop teacher who is meant to shit on Millennials for not being hard working enough, the literal antagonist whose a millennial, works the hardest in the series. He literally has like 3 or more jobs.

[@gwen9939]

He feels like he was supposed to be the Ned Flanders of the whole show, but trying to position him as Ned means that Mr Birchum has to be Homer who the joke is constantly on that he's lazy, stupid, unprincipled, and a bad father, and the only reason he hates Ned is vibes.

[@sarafontanini7051]

@@gwen9939 hell the whole joke is that Ned is a genuinely good person and homer's childish, petty hatred is not only based in incorrect thinking but completely one sided with no actual reason behind it. Here karponzi is actually an antagonsit who dislikes birchum, so if the point was to make him ned flanders they fucked up at the first step

[@seeleunit2000]

​@@gwen9939No, in The Simpsons Homer is lazy and hates Ned because Ned has a better life than himself. In addition to Ned being a goody two shoes. But in this conservative animation abomination, they tried to do the reverse and failed. Karponzi comes off as the hard working one and Burchim is the lazy one

[@paulsmart4672]

Huh. I think the show *did* say something. Accidentally. About how their purported values are only aesthetics, and they actually loathe any sort of values or dedication. Not that loathe liberal values. Just the whole notion of values in general. Karponzi is a fool and contemptible not just for believing the wrong things, but for actually believing the things he believes and dedicating himself to them.

[@zenith5844]

It’s wild that in the first episode, birchum expresses his dissatisfaction with the students woodworking skills and yet he trusts them with his deck when they couldn’t even manage a birdhouse

[@timtheskeptic1147]

In grudging defense of that, the deck is actually an easier project than the birdhouse. Sure it's larger and more consequential, but you can't exactly mess up "lay wood flat. Nail in place." (Devil's Advocate, away!)

[@zenith5844]

@@timtheskeptic1147 Objection! they weren’t able to nail the birdhouses or use the saw previously, yet somehow managed to do both for the deck? Something smells fishy🧐

[@timtheskeptic1147]

@zenith5844 When I did wood shop in high school, the birdhouse was actually an advanced project. We weren't building from pre-cut kits. We had to choose the wood, do the math regarding cutting angles and weight, and aesthetics. It was a real competition with decent prizes. I forget who won, but it wasn't my zeppelin shaped birdhouse 😕

[@zenith5844]

@@timtheskeptic1147 a zeppelin birdhouse sounds sick! My favorite wood project was we made magic wands

[@timtheskeptic1147]

@zenith5844 By any standard it was awesome! The contest was rigged! /s

[@justinland5713]

Can't help but point out that they all say "Oorah", which is a Marines saying, but they are Army and Navy. I feel like if they had anyone with any experience in any of those branches, they could have could have pointed this out to them.

[@paytonanthony1308]

i noticed that too!

[@uniquenewyork3325]

Uh ohhh 😬 idk how they aren't embarrassed

[@trouty606]

Also they call themselves "Meal Team Six" and I'm going to go out on a limb and say I doubt these dorks were navy seals during their deployment, so I'm calling stolen joke valor.

[@alisonpurgatory85]

@@trouty606 And simply stolen joke, John Oliver's segment on Nuclear Weapons had a bit where he said 'Meal Team 6'

[@raditts]

Of course nobody involved with the Daily Wire has any knowledge or experience with any branch of the military beyond the standard conservative "support" as a symbol of how they are more patriotic than thou.

[@asmodiusjones9563]

Words can barely describe how thoroughly this show’s lunch was eaten 25 years ago by King of the Hill. Every clip conjures a scene that KotH did ten times better. The Simpsons is credited as the most clever and satirical show of the 90s/00s, but KotH had the most heart, compassion, and subtlety. Just as the barest taste, I’ll reference this time 45:00 and one of my favorite lines: Bobby (after hearing a bizarre and sexist description of soccer from Hank): “… why do you hate what you don’t understand?” Hank: “I don’t hate you, Bobby.” Bobby: “I’m talking about soccer.” Hank: “Oh. Yeah, I HATE soccer.”

[@FrozEnbyWolf150-b9t]

My friend and I have been going back and watching King of the Hill. Conservatives would call it "woke" if it came out today.

[@jaytheknife]

That and the character Ron Swanson

[@ItzGuerrero]

@@FrozEnbyWolf150-b9t"living next to someone from LAOS and not harassing them? Pathetic." I have never laughed so hard at a race-based joke as when Cotton corrected Dale assuming Khan was Chinese.

[@Lexivor]

@@FrozEnbyWolf150-b9t Conservatives have called Mr. Birchum woke for having a gay character.

[@Jane-oz7pp]

​@@ItzGuerrero even better, when it appears that Khan was actively hiding being Laosan (which would make sense since... y'know... the times and the reason his family probably had to leave Laos to begin with...)

[@MasoTrumoi]

For the record this was animated on a time crunch and shoestring budget by a small team in Valencia, Spain. According to online accounts claiming to be from said team, the majority of the animators are queer. These are people who were work-for-hire through their studio and probably put through the equivalent of sweat shop standards in animation, an industry already famous for terrible working standards. I have no doubt in my mind that any decently funny or clever background gag, such as the Bernie Sanders joke of him selling belt sanders in his mask and mittens from the meme, is just the Animators trying desperately to put anything even remotely joyful or goofy into this garbage. Also, apparently they were told to redo the animation from their initial style to be more "stiff and realistic" instead of the cartoony vibe they preferred. The Daily Wire is so inept at anything creative they thought that asking for animation to look stiff would improve it. Think about how insane that is for the next 40 years like I will.

[@user-et3xn2jm1u]

Legitimately, for how barren the backgrounds were (surely due to deadlines and budget), they did contain several good jokes. I have no doubt this made the showrunners very angry and was regarded as a bad move.

[@sarafontanini7051]

conservatives actually think making something look worse and boring is better... they're NEVER winning the 'culture war'

[@Owesomasaurus]

When your benchmark for comedic animation is South Park, I can see how one might think stiffness equals comedy

[@hayuseen6683]

Oh I hate that...

[@PhotonBeast]

@@Owesomasaurus The thing is, there's stiff, there's realistic, and then there's stylized; though there is overlap to be sure. Stiff in generally is bad because it's just jarring and visually unpleasing and tends to be uncanny (even for non-human stuff). Realistic movement isn't stiff. Likewise, South Park isn't stiff; it's only stiff in the same way the Townies in Wreck-It Ralph are stiff. Regardless, yeah, when the top people in charge just go around assuming they know what they want and what is 'good' without talking with the subject experts, well.. you just get dumb results.

[@BrigitteEmpire]

"Conservatives are getting better at comedy and it's making the left nervous" I tweet, crying, as I pretend to enjoy Mr. Birchum and The New Norm while bleeding out of my eye and ear holes

[@Jane-oz7pp]

Meanwhile, Bob's Burgers and The Great North are out here being flawless shows

[@seeleunit2000]

Seriously come up the day conservators actually become good at comedy of the day when they decide to stop being bigoted than jackasses and we both know that's not happening.

[@totesMagotes83]

There was an article like that about South Park a long time ago: "We aren't losing the culture wars anymore"

[@CesRaisons]

@@Jane-oz7pp Great North mentioned 🗣️🔥🔥🔥 love that show

[@pugachevskobra5636]

Lmfao

[@therobotchickenMLP]

Glad somebody finally pointed out the weird usage of "heteronormative."

[@MegaProto]

Mr. Birchum getting his sleeve caught in a lathe is the least "shop teacher" thing ever. These type of guys are so fucking serious about shop safety it's almost comical.

[@trouty606]

He didn't even turn the lathe OFF before reaching over to try and fix it. What kind of amateur hour bullshit is this?

[@stripeytawney822]

Yep. Getting caught with the chuck key in the chuck without your hand on it was auto-fail the class. So this is a show about a pretend-shop teacher by celebrity writers who never took shop class.

[@candrian7]

@@trouty606 One written by a guy who cosplays a blue collar worker but has never done anything remotely close to labour. The sort of person who thinks health and safety rules are government overreach that workers just pay lip service to instead of rules written in blood that no real worker takes lightly.

[@NosebleeddeGroselha]

Only time I’ve seen a similar joke work was in Ned’s Declassified and they had a ragdoll arm for the teacher, twisting itself like wet cloth around the lathe, and he dismissed class to spend the next 45 minutes screaming

[@blktarockstar818]

​@@candrian7Carrolla has always claimed to have worked as a carpenter when he was younger

[@lukelee7967]

When I heard the "Romeo and Romeo" joke. I actually paused the video, did a long awkward pause myself, shouted "FUCK THIS SHOW, is Romeo and Julien so hard to think of!?!". And went to take a shower before I finished it.

[@Lemoncakelover678]

Even worse, romeo and JULIO was right there!

[@stevenyukabacera160]

Romeo and Hussein Benghazi Teleprompter

[@Owesomasaurus]

I had to do a R + J monologue for high school and because all the boy monologues objectively suck did a genderbent Juliet speech as Julien and if I can think of this as a 16 year old Mr Bircham has no excuse.

[@seeleunit2000]

Doing that would require putting in effort and using their brains isn't something conservative, right-wing, nut bars don't do. PS: a queer retelling of Romeo and Juliet would be an interesting thing to see. There's a lot of potential right there.

[@lukelee7967]

@@seeleunit2000 I get your point. But I think they did put some effort in. Just none towards making the show funny.

[@jakeinternet]

40:10 How incredibly bizarre that this random animated sequence suddenly throws in a reference (?) to Pink Floyd's The Wall without any understanding of how the hammer imagery in that film was a commentary on the nature of fascism. Great work gang

[@Lambda3141]

Name a more iconic and ironic situation than right-wingers loving media that criticizes their worldview.

[@josephpotter5766]

Not beating the 'this is kind of Nostalgia Critic levels of humour" allegations

[@voidify3]

Yeah I was thinking the same thing

[@MankyPancakes2]

​@@Lambda3141right wingers getting mad at Rage Against The Machine whenever Tom Morello posts leftist opinions on Twitter. They don't understand anything.

[@llynxfyremusic]

It had zero purpose being there at all lol. It just looks like they were ripping the wall off instead of making a reference

[@scottbrayton9484]

Ive left this comment under every Mr. Birchum video but as the son of a highschool shop teacher I am annoyed that the absolute banger premise of "animated sitcom about a highschool shop class" was wasted on this garbage.

[@mattgroening8872]

Watch king of the hill I think he subs in a wood shop class in one

[@ballpitbakery]

There are so many stories that could be used for a shop class sitcom, like a kid accidentally welding their magnet they were using into their project, or two kids making a competition out of their woodshop cleaning and making a Jenga game from it.

[@Our_Remedy]

Amazing how they made the "Annoying character everyone hates" (Karponzi) the only tolerable if not likeable character in the entirety of the show. He's the only character that would apologize for anything ever and mean it.

[@ridjenite]

Which, to them, is a weakness. That's their worldview. Cruelty is power to them.

[@NerdSyncProductions]

“strong Nostalgia Critic energy” is such a devastating burn lol

[@FirstLast-cg2nk]

I can't help but point out that, given the awards and setup (Three consoles, big screen tv, and a gaming computer offscreen, plus headphones) that Eddie has in his room, he's likely doing well for himself as a gaming influencer. With 50k followers, plus subscribers, monetization, merch, and concurrent viewers, it's very possible that Eddie is making more than Birchum is.

[@Lemoncakelover678]

It would be hilarious if birchum discovered that he's the only one making least money out of the family so he can't use the 'i work hard to keep you feed' to his son

[@Silburific]

Yeah, but playing video games isn't "manly" like complaining about the fact that your wife can divorce you or trying to convince people that it's totally normal for middle-aged men to be sexually attracted to children. If you're gonna talk into a microphone for a living, you need to talk about something worthwhile, like why the poors should be sterilized.

[@bareakon]

@@Lemoncakelover678 And let's not forget, he chose a lower-paying job than he's capable of, that he doesn't enjoy, for the sole reason that he happened to get a phone call about his kid's earache immediately after being offered the job. Now I don't have an exact measure of the scale of fucked-ness of the US medical system, but surely, SURELY, an ear appointment isn't outside the family's means at that exact moment. In that scenario, he'd be the lowest-earner of the family, entirely because he IMAGINED a sacrifice that needed to be made IMMEDIATELY, so that he could act like a martyr. And his martyrdom is completely irrelevant and his family doesn't need him as a breadwinner. Hilarious. Beautiful. Poignant. Love it. Better show than the one they actually made. Buy the rights. Season Two: Destroy Birchum's ego. Make him build himself back up and go to therapy. New Bojack Horseman. Emmys galore.

[@ernie39]

​@@bareakonhehehehe, excellent

[@FirstLast-cg2nk]

@@bareakon I won't mock Birchum for the "taking the job for my son", because it was indicated his son may need surgery because of something stemming from the earache, and as someone who had constant ear and nose infections as a child, that's scary stuff. We don't hear specifics, but surgery is expensive without insurance, even by the standards of around the 2000s-2010s and a teacher's medical coverage would take out most of it. However, there's no indication that Birchum still needs to keep teaching. There's nothing to indicate that his son, wife, or step-daughter need any kind of medical treatment that would necessitate that coverage. It was a one time sacrifice that he insists on still making instead of actually doing something more with his life. His continued dissatisfaction with his life is solely his own doing.

[@WildLmaoplane]

shout out to Mr Birchums wife that spontaneously became gay and left him. my aunt did that

[@dichotomae]

oh my god, so did my aunt

[@MrGruzefix]

​@@dichotomaemine just never married and has 3 cats.

[@Lexivor]

My uncle's wife did that. It's more common than you might think.

[@jayoftheabyss3197]

Your aunt did that to Mr. Birchum?

[@TurbopropPuppy]

@@jayoftheabyss3197 incredibly based of her!

[@Acideye48]

I really enjoyed this as it not only was a fun takedown of Mr Birchum, but also an interesting look into the nature of fiction and art.

[@cyruscrompton8221]

19:40 How funny would it be if the entire episode was about Birchum *thinking* he had to play hooky from school, avoiding lib teacher (sorry cant be bothered to remember his name) thinking he would snitch, doing everything possible to get rid of him to the point he can't drink and have fun, just getting into antics. Only to realize there was no school. It's his day off.

[@dyerseve3001]

Everyone in the comments who have watched good animated comedy: classic Simpsons, South Park, family guy. Have suggested countless scenarios and jokes that are easily hundreds of times better than whatever this crap they put out is.

[@cyruscrompton8221]

@@dyerseve3001 the only thing I'll disagree with you about is "100 times better" because a positive times a negative is a negative Ok jokes aside you're so fucking right this stuff can NOT be that hard

[@ND-nr6mx]

That's just the "Free Balloon Day" episode from SpongeBob

[@lefishe5845]

​@@cyruscrompton8221 That's why my media rating scale has negetives act exclusively for the so bad it's good scale, and 0 is just not only bad but boring, but -10 is hysterical because it's bad.

[@patrickthornton5232]

In Texas, schools are open on veterans day.

[@zirrix4795]

the "he doesn't want to teach but does it because he needs money" is also like, just exactly the plot of school of rock, down to the "do whatever you want while i sleep off this hangover" joke

[@TheFiteShow]

i don't think there's an original beat in this show

[@lefishe5845]

How fitting that the conservatives don't wish to make anything new at all.

[@cosmodious1755]

I'm so here for this first installment in the Dracula learning to be assertive arc.

[@troywalkertheprogressivean8433]

And his voice and american accent lessons.

[@townzen190]

What happened to Bobby Dook? I can’t remember.

[@Grogeous_Maximus]

@@townzen190 Bobby probably joined an MLM

[@juanitachristblaster4252]

He needs to be invited into the conversation

[@thegreygoblin5165]

Poor guy, used to be pretty confident until what happened to Lisa and his relationship with Alucard got pretty strained.

[@ScarabD]

It'd be way funnier is everyone got in an argument over the most efficient way to use the microwave. Wife comes in half an hour later to see them doing complex experiments and timers trying to figure out the ACTUAL most efficient way to set the microwave timer. Somehow this has resulted in black smoke pouring from the microwave and a smashed pile of ready meals on the counter.

[@LAZY-RUBY]

That sounds like genuinely funny American Dad B-Plot.

[@genexplore]

​@@LAZY-RUBYit writes itself. It gets introduced in the start of the episode where a few characters try some combinations and leave it but Francine is hooked. In the second bit, Francine has stop watches and is cooking the piles of food. Klaus could have a dialog with her about why it's important. It comes out that so much of her day is taken up by domestic tasks that she's becoming obsessed with how much time she could save at the microwave alone. In the end, the A plot collides with the B plot, the microwave is destroyed, and the fact that the kitchen is full of prepared meals helps (whatever the central conflict of the A plot is).

[@timothymclean]

Look, it's not impressive to come up with a better joke than Mr. Birchu-oh hey that's actually pretty good.

[@hayuseen6683]

That requires creativity and trying to make entertaining entertainment instead of a culture wars hit piece for publicity.

[@seeleunit2000]

​@@hayuseen6683Which is something that conservatives cannot do because conservatives, don't do creativity. To be funny is to have the ability to have good timing, observational skills, critical thought, and the ability to not punch down... Conservatives don't do that.

[@nathanyou1899]

Funny how in the plotline about how people should just get along despite their political differences one of the characters was going to be played by Candice Owens until she split from the daily wire over political disagreements. Funny that, it's almost like having political disagreements with people is a valid reason to not be friends with someone.

[@terpsidance.]

But they have to maintain their insistence that it's the left who is divisive and they just want to get work done

[@bosstowndynamics5488]

The saddest part is that they see no hypocrisy at play here - their political beliefs are important and everyone else's are either petty or evil, so it's not OK for anyone else to disagree with them, but it's righteous for them to disagree with everyone else. It also helps that manipulating others into forgiving their terrible ideas without them having to entertain anyone else's ideas is politically advantageous

[@thatjeff7550]

"I was written up for saying one student threw like a girl! But then two months later, that kid started identifying as being a girl! And no one apologized to me! Crickets!" Okay, I have to admit I did chuckle at that. It was for maybe a half-second but it was a halfway decent joke.

[@UniGya]

It's the only good one. Unironically I think the show would be better if Mr. Birchum was conservative but had random unexpected progressive ideas sprinkled in, like being a trans-inclusive misogynist. Comedy comes from subverting expectations and this is one of the few times the show actually does it

[@theendersmirk5851]

In fairness, the guy claiming "oh yeah, being black and pretending to be nonbinary definitely protects me from the school yelling at me" sounded like a good setup to a joke showing him doing a shitton of stuff against school rules and against the law, before getting arrested. Like, the main issue is this show makes its talking points with dialogue that would be better served as the setup for an actual punchline.

[@corporatecapitalism]

@@UniGyaa show about a conservative dad having someone close to him come out as gay or trans and then progressively begin to accept new ideologies and mature as a person would be incredible I think

[@ballisticwaffles]

@@corporatecapitalism The more I workshop this idea in my head the more it just warps into being King of the Hill 2.

[@maritofuentes4690]

​@@UniGya "You are a trans woman? No wonder your so shit at driving" Something like that?

[@maudiojunky]

Whoever wrote the lathe scene has never used a lathe before. Not only is the ruler getting stuck in the lathe implausible, Mr. Birchum would no longer have a shoulder or likely be with us after becoming entrapped in an operating lathe of that size.

[@Veecy]

In fairness I would also clap if I was listening to a boring tech conference and a man fell from the sky and landed in a superhero pose

[@d.w.stratton4078]

Yea bbgrl, make em clap 🥴🤮

[@malcire]

It would be more interesting.

[@timothymclean]

I understand why Mr. Slime did not give Mr. Birchum the benefit of the doubt, but you are correct. Seeing an apparent stage performer doing acrobatics on stage is entertaining.

[@ScotRotum]

​@@timothymcleanat this point most millennials and younger have been well trained by the MCU to clap and hoot like seals when we see a three point landing.

[@Lemoncakelover678]

​​@@d.w.stratton4078Mr birchum is certified babygirl

[@solucian]

36:55 this could've been a perfect spot for a joke, too. Birchum's like "what the hell why won't this reverse?" Garbanzo walks in and tells him it's because "progress/we don't move backwards bc we're liberal" or something, then Corolla can come back with "I wish we'd go backwards when they used to lock up commies like you" and Zamboni gets all 🙄💅offended and storms out. Birchum realizes both of them were so focused on arguing that neither mentioned/noticed that he was stuck. Or just ANYTHING more than 2 seconds that were absolutely necessary to tell the audience the lathe couldn't move backwards

[@iluvtacos1231]

That would genuinely have been funnier.

[@Jade_Bunbun]

Also sounds like a pretty good moral or lesson too, him realizing he should have asked for help first instead of arguing, or even asked for help at all right before Carpool leaves. That would have made for slightly decent story telling

[@sreyarthakrishna6195]

But that would involve Mr Birchum making a mistake, and make his continuing to be stuck at least partly his own fault, and we can't have that.

[@potroastmutt7915]

I had this thought too. I actually thought they'd go for a "it won't reverse because it's woke" joke. Which would have still been cringe, but at the very least would have had a semblance of understanding woodworking and the craft you're basing your character around. Hell, even a "oh it's seriously jammed" or Birchum breaking the handle off by yanking on it too hard with his strong strong conservative arms and it's made with "cheap lazy commie labor" would have been better. "Oh it just won't go" is like. Have you even seen a lathe before Mr. Corolla?

[@goldenhorde6944]

Aw man imagine if the plot of the episode was that 911 was just not available for some reason so he has to contact Karponzi and explain his situation, admit he's scared of dying for the first time since leaving the marines, and then the climax is him having to carefully walk Karponzi through manually disassembling the lathe and saving Birchum's life. Edit: and make that the season finale so it end on both Karponsi redeeming his workmanship (workpersonship?) and Birchum redeeming his teaching and communication skills!

[@Mentalbox52]

I love how the punchline to the elephant joke is not discussing the elephant in the room. That's so clever.

[@ThoughtSlime]

And also on purpose

[@blarg2429]

@@ThoughtSlime I can't tell if you're saying this because it's true or as a funny way of saying that your joke was clever by accident, but I enjoyed it regardless.

[@charlespecaut303]

​@ThoughtSlime I wanted to say, I kind of liked your elephant joke as it was at face value, as a sort of anti-humor.

[@simon1714]

I genuinely laughed. Funnier than anything in Mr Birchum without even trying

[@SurprisinglySincere]

I thought it was actually kinda too funny to illustrate the point properly. Which really says a lot about how profoundly unfunny the writers had to be to not even stumble upon a joke by accident.

[@J_CtheEngineer]

So a handyman woodworker, operates a metal cutting lathe (one of the most capable machines of wrecking humans), with a long sleeve jacket (something that is *explicitly* warned against in every shop setting), and gets caught in the machine. Something tells me someone doesn’t have the domain knowledge to make their character seem competent.

[@jackcade8790]

On the Romeo and Romeo thing. In addition to what everyone else has mentioned, they changed a play in a school to have more male roles? In what universe? Romeo, mertucio, and tybalt were probably already being played by girls because only 2 guys auditioned.

[@goodboi6329]

Romea and Juliet

[@orionliketheconstellation3003]

lesbians named romeo and romeo

[@debdebberton]

literally the only "new tablesaw gimmick" that exists is a safety feature capable of detecting blood, which slams the blade into the table so hard (to minimize bodily injury) that the force of the impact can potentially destroy the table saw. is that what they're mad about? increased worker safety? reduction of limb loss? utterly inscrutible on their part, they can't even make good hardware/tools jokes, literally the thing this character SHOULD be amazing at and have insightful commentary about.

[@iriswaters]

I think that whole thing was probably, originally, an attempt to make some sort of commentary about computers in tractors, and the fact that blue collar workers are fighting against the companies that make them over the right to repair and such. But somewhere along the line it broke, mutated, twisted into a nightmare amalgam of idiot ideas and reactionary nonsense about millennials and how Apple stores feel effeminate to idiots, and eventually, about China Bad. Probably in part due to any real discussion of the right to repair being hard to engage in without criticism of American capitalism, but probably mostly due to no one involved understanding the issue, and multiple voices involved just adding 'jokes' continually, without regard to any sort of narrative coherence.

[@VultureSkins]

That’s a rad safety feature!

[@debdebberton]

@@VultureSkins it is for sure, no doubt. but it is also SO terrifying when it happens lol, the speed of the blade ejection is so fast that when the blade slams into the interior enclosure it sounds like an explosion 😵‍💫

[@CuriousKey]

No one at the Daily Wire has ever held a chisel. That's the thing - every "masculine" aspect of how they view traditional values - outsite of sexual harrassment - is something they themselves have no experience with. Shapiro and his ilk are not strong, brave, good at being outdoors, or really anything they associate with the "ideal man". They're fragile, privileged, whiny little boys. They couldn't tell you which part of a saw does the cutting, and it doesn't surprise me they can't tell tool-based jokes. The only tools in their life experience is themselves.

[@UserOfTheName]

​@@debdebberton There is also an explosion happening. The Metal break gets launched into the blade with an explosive blast

[@senipain2785]

Honestly, the comparisons to Darkseid and how "art is alive"; were not only fascinating, but genuinely more enriching to my life, than anything the actual show did on purpose.

[@dinosaysrawr]

It confirms for me that modern conservatives are very literally anti-life. Their idea of a conservative protagonist is a standoffish, unpleasant Gen X man who considers everyone a bore and everything a chore, because caring too much about anything or anyone would be cringe and gay. In Birchum World, you are required to marry, produce spawn, work at a "respectable" job, and participate in your community, even though this lifestyle will not only *not* result in joy or fulfillment, but actually, drive you towards alienation and substance abuse, which is considered super funny, cool, and based.

[@tysonasaurus6392]

Same, didn't expect the Mr Birchum reaction video to make me permanently rethink the way I perceive storytelling

[@Dragoderian]

Mister Birchum, for being conservative slop, is also super freaking weird for having basically no religiosity in it? Like, even the Simpsons went to Church regularly.

[@khill8645]

I think that's because there'd be no upside for them; they're unwilling to lampoon it. The Simpsons doesn't shy away from showing Maude or Lovejoy as hypocritical or pearl-clutching, but Birchum is made by folks screeching with zero self-awareness, "won't someone think of the children?!"

[@Dragoderian]

@@khill8645 Quite possibly, but the fact that they don't at any point mention Birchum's family going to Church, that they effectively show them as being totally secular, could definitely be something that cuts against their intended(?) audience.

[@khill8645]

@@Dragoderian You know Carolla's an atheist, right? That's my point, they don't want to stake any actual positions in that realm because they don't want that smoke. The actors are a mix of atheists, Protestants, and Catholics... and DailyWire has already had its share of infighting thanks to religious feuding.

[@LittleMissLounge]

Wouldn't it be funny if they didn't give the Birchums any particular religion because they didn't want to alienate conservative Jewish people like BS?

[@Dragoderian]

@@LittleMissLounge The theory my friend and I have on it is that they don't want to alienate the Alt-Right Jordan Peterson-loving 'Atheist' Types. A demographic that still baffles me to this day.

[@bosstowndynamics5488]

The other reason creatives tend to be left leaning IMHO, which is tangential but kind of related to Mr Bircham, is that creativity is inherently at odds with conservatism - the entire point of conservatism is not wanting anything to change, to just wanting to be the person on top of the heap and to not have to ever change or challenge yourself. Creative people inherently question the status quo because the interesting and creative things we do are the things that describe something other than the most boring possible version of the present. It's the sort of thing that leads into your concept of antifiction and antitalent.

[@ND-nr6mx]

Broke: why did Michaelangelo give David a tiny dong? Woke: the tiny dong represents many things, how we often shrink away in the presence of beauty, an ode to Man's naked fear when subjected to the scrutinizing gaze of the audience that now gathers around it. In 812 B.C., Gomandi Emperor Hezberel IV decreed that-

[@Crash_Of_Waves]

The Daily Wire are fascists not conservatives though? And you're trying to construct conservatives as mentally impaired as a way to dunk on them which is a pretty capitalist kind of value all on its own. The far-right tends to be uncreative because a lot of its members are marginalized middle-class white men engaging in protest white masculinity to overcompensate for whatever petty personal bullshit they have like child abuse or they're closeted or neurodivergent or Jewish or some other petty insecurity. Protest white masculinity is inherently hollow and uncreative because it's a facade covering feelings of low self-worth. But yeah because Mr. Birchum is tame conservative media it can't have bizarre nihilist queer erotic horror. I don't know where I'm going with this.

[@myddle2073]

The contrast between how you talk about the proto-Birchums vs. the final Birchum is potent. Yes, Birchum isn't, but he was once. He was and they killed him.

[@arempy5836]

He's stillborn, in limbo and simultaneously wishes to truly live and truly die.

[@TheManWithTheFlan]

"Oh boy, new Thought Slime, I wonder what ol' Mildo has to say about this shit cartoon?" *One hour later* "Matt Walsh is Darkseid."

[@VidGamer123]

Matt Walsh WISHES he were Darkseid. He's more like one of those lame one-off supervillains like Condiment King or that guy who steals pennies... for some reason.

[@JohnSmith_1920]

oh thank god, the universe is saved, Darkseid is a total loser with no real power :D

[@Montesama314]

He fucking WISHES he had Darkseid's presence. He's an annoying smug shit getting paid by oil billionaires to spread that smug shit opinion.

[@malcire]

Meh, Darkseid is a multiversal embodiment of evil. Matt Walsh is just a sad little man.

[@Archeopteryxman421]

​@@VidGamer123 He's one of Darkseid's simpering lackeys, like DeSaad or Glorious Godfrey

[@Rozilla]

Obligatory Terry Pratchett quote that kinda relates to some of the ideas brought up: "All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable." REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little-" YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES. "So we can believe the big ones?" YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING. "They're not the same at all!" YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET-Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED. "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point-" MY POINT EXACTLY. Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

[@CesRaisons]

That dialogue is so good, makes my eyes roll back into my head

[@redrasegarden]

Sorry but I couldn’t help but think you were yelling half of that

[@jdprettynails]

The first Discworld novel I ever read. Been hooked on the series ever since

[@lordofhyphens]

​@redrasegarden yeah, Death's small-caps doesn't work well in a YT comment.

[@redrasegarden]

@@lordofhyphens oh, it can be small?

[@AEGreen]

i think it's unintentional but the veterans day episode really highlights how depressing it is that the only reliable reward for service is one day of bottomless appetizers

[@MLBlue30]

I also find it disheartening that the greatest expression of patriotism and freedom is expected to be destroying yourself through substance abuse.

[@dinosaysrawr]

A smarter show would've had that be the joke.

[@ChristianNeihart]

For me, the patriotic holidays all ring hollow. They symbolize the denial of prosperity.

[@wadespencer3623]

@@ChristianNeihart What exactly do you mean by "denial of prosperity"? Genuinely curious.

[@ChristianNeihart]

@@wadespencer3623 if you've watched George Carlin's speech on the American Dream, it's kind of likebthat. For a lot of people, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Veteran's Day, etc. arejust another day to work. There is no day of rest unless you take PTO. The government spends more on the war machine than it does general welfare and that just builds more and more resentment.

[@zerothebear]

Saw the thumbnail and was baffled at seeing a Darkseid Is reference being made about Mr Birchum, but you really stuck the landing and it actually made perfect sense in the end. Bravo 👏

[@zerothebear]

Also if you're into the magic of stories and haven't read The Unwritten, I highly recommend it

[@DahVoozel]

Rightwing: Accuses everyone of being groomers. Rightwing: Writes the main character who is supposed to be 'correct' as using language suggestive of grooming children.

[@starofjustice1]

Nice avatar. That's some ACTUAL thought-provoking media.

[@alisonpurgatory85]

Yeah. Every conservative accusation is a confession, they want to make it easier for them to actually groom and abuse kids, and if people think we're the ones doing it then their attention won't be on the real perpetrators

[@JohnEusebioToronto]

"Kids, come to my house this weekend. If you don't, you will fail. And don't tell anyone! Especially not your parents. Its our secret."

[@SuperKiobi13]

there's something you must learn about republicans, every acussation is a confession

[@claytonandres1194]

I've only seen NSFW fan art of Mr. Birchum and the New Norm so I assume these are some incredibly horny shows

[@TBLIVIN]

I'm the old Norm, I want normal fanart

[@c3r6s9]

i only just realized these were two different shows bc of this comment

[@hektorsehmsdorf1336]

I am unsettled by this information

[@FrozEnbyWolf150-b9t]

That's the proper way to be introduced to this show.

[@codo820]

This might be the most horrifying information I've learned today

[@Noirevert]

The best thing about my viewing experience of this video was that my internet cut out multiple times and I ALWAYS assumed it was a deliberate awkward pause.

[@PhotonBeast]

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Ha!

[@luckypup1919]

Actually Mr. Birchum DOES exist when we turn the show off and it’s to fulfill all the fanart of BirchumXCarponzi

[@amandatovo4131]

I absolutely believe *that* art is real while it's original source it's not. It also create the amusing mental image of Final Crisis being resolved by humans making so much horny fanart of Darkseid and Desaad that he just gets embarassed and leaves

[@randomjunkohyeah1]

@@amandatovo4131 Lmaoooo

[@seeleunit2000]

It's the only interesting thing about the show.

[@valivali8104]

Personally don’t like because he deserves better than Birchum. But I'm sure it makes dw seeth, so won’t critize otherwise 😈

[@ballisticwaffles]

@@valivali8104 He deserves better but as I heard in retail once, "You can't help who you fall in love with."

[@charlescannon2469]

I was thinking (the wife cheating) He is sitting in the car at a red light, the clock showing 5 minutes has passed. Mr. Birchum: Ah...shit. I should have tried to join in.

[@SparkIgnitionv2]

Can we revisit that ‘tool lives matter’ joke though? Because the structure of this ‘joke’ strongly implies that they’re poking fun at the slogan ‘black lives matter’ by presenting what they think is an equally ridiculous, but more obviously absurd, iteration to highlight how stupid it is. That ‘black lives matter’ is equivalent to ‘tool lives matter’. That ‘black lives’ are equi… yeah you all see it too right? Wow. And this joke unironically presented next to the marching fascist hammers from The Wall. I’m no art therapist, but this makes me want to be.

[@tysonasaurus6392]

NO SERIOUSLY I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT, it's super fucked up

[@oO0catty0Oo]

It sounds like that Simpsons clip where principal Skinner declares that, no, it's the children who are wrong. But, like, a whole show...

[@munjatkumo1929]

Ah yissss, that's one of the funniest Simpsons-jokes! That must mean Mr. Birchum is a funny show!

[@timothymclean]

Look, I get what you're trying to say, but a whole-show version of a Simpsons clip could just as easily be The Simpsons. That's how clips work.

[@norascarletempress]

The problem is that the joke is funny in The Simpsons because Skinner is obviously very wrong. That doesn't work in Birchum because they are trying to convikce you that Skinner is in the right

[@oO0catty0Oo]

@@timothymclean Fair

[@cowhammer]

*checks runtime, rubs hands together like that yellow suit guy*

[@xbxDaniel]

The mask?

[@VultureSkins]

The man in the yellow hat?

[@rosiemaphone]

Do you.... do you mean Mr Burns?

[@ngotemna8875]

Amogus?

[@wesshiflet2214]

The Reverse Flash

[@Dragonatrix]

The elephant joke was such an anti-joke that it became genuinely funny.

[@emrhys]

yeah I laughed out loud it was actually really good

[@Alexander_Stern1]

I loved the elephant joke!

[@kaiserruhsam]

the standup thing may not have worked out but the comedy chops are there

[@drewbabe]

Just goes to show that Thought Slime can't avoid being funny

[@iluvtacos1231]

That cracked me up

[@LordHonkInc]

22:00 Cargo cult writing. They know how cartoons "work", on the surface at least: A cast of characters get into wacky situations, and the audience laughs. So, by their affirming the consequent, they reason that to get laughs, you only need a cast of characters that get into wacky situations. It _has_ to work, surely.

[@Dadh4t]

this show was written by people who saw King Of The Hill and said "you know what? yea, that boy really ain't right"

[@ItRemindMeOfHome]

Ok, speaking as a veteran, that joke about them wanting to hit every bar/restaurant in town on veterans day, that actually was pretty funny, because it's a real thing we do. It's the one day a year we don't have to pay for food. There's no weird nationalist undertones when I eat to bursting of course. Honestly, it's more a symptom of how expensive it is to eat normally every other day of the year, and how private corporations giving us free food under social pressure is the closest thing many of us get to real benefit from our service to the nation.

[@RobinTheBot]

Thanks for the input.

[@valivali8104]

Unfortunally how it was made makes veterans look like gluttons. But making it realistic would expose actual, real sociatal problems and no conservative wants to do that...

[@charleshockenbury353]

I hate how Birchum has the 3 fingers on his hands (not counting thumbs). Like that's supposed to be done to save space on tiny drawn hands where four fingers would be too hard to draw, but Birchum has these huge hands, and a wedding ring always present that draws the eyes to his hand. So he just looks like a real guy with 3 giant fingers and it's so distracting

[@Mavis-ne1ss]

I mean, he *is* a woodshop teacher

[@charleshockenbury353]

@@Mavis-ne1ss I did consider this, but that’d still leave an empty space where a 4th finger should go. It’s just uncanny having a design leaning more into realism (he looks like a human adult man) but then gave him these giant cartoony hands

[@lark613]

I can't unsee it now

[@primitiverobot]

family guy did it so they kinda have to

[@allthedumbthingz-oc5cc]

There’s a decent amount of cartoons that give their characters 3 fingers, so I don’t mind it.

[@MrDanzibar]

Alright, Birchum is miserable because he is a teacher. Birchum is a teacher because he needed health insurance for his child. If Birchum lived in a country with a publicly funded healthcare system, he would be free to continue his enterprise as a wood-working entrepreneur. Is the Daily Wire in favor of a public health care system in the United States? Probably not, but damn, if there was any kind of quality control, you would think somebody would have connected that this show is making a subtle point in favor of a health care system funded by taxes for everyone instead of only those who have jobs with health insurance.

[@darkartsdabbler2407]

It ultimately doesn’t matter, these people don’t actually care about anything making sense, they don’t actually stop to try and square their actions with their rhetoric with their politics It’s just a bunch of bad faith finger pointing all the way down

[@sixstringedthing]

I am fascinated by the fact that this show had its "hero" character be so inept at his job as to get stuck in a lathe (an event that often tends to cause nasty injuries irl), but the writers were so inept at their jobs that they made this happen in the most implausible and poorly explained of ways. It's like some weird ouroboros of being shit at what you do. Amazing.

[@trouty606]

Who the hell tries to mess with something stuck in the chuck with the lathe ON?! Like what the chicken fried fuck is this? I took shop in high school which included a lathe unit, and scores of us stupid teens using this potentially super dangerous power tool didn't do something this inept. I also still have the little bowl I lathed up from that class. I keep change in it, it's nice.

[@AmyMist]

@@trouty606 I feel like if they wanted to do that gag, they should have had a student with some kind of loose-fitting clothing around the lathe and had Birchum repeatedly shame them for it (maybe even lean in to the show's conservative bent and have it be like... idk a boy with long hair or jewelry or something), and then when the kid finally DOES get caught Brichum just like. watches it happen. I feel like that would have played in better to what his character is supposed to be while also letting it feel like he's "right" in some way.

[@SeisoYabai]

That entire point about "anti-fiction".... I found myself thinking throughout the video that I've met people like Mr. Birchum. Just so filled with a sort of bored disdain for anyone who doesn't think and act just like them, who believe in their own superiority. This kind of detached misanthropy is exactly how I imagine their lives to be. If art is a reflection of one's beliefs, then what is art that rejects art?

[@starofjustice1]

anti-art

[@acuyra]

Romeo and Jules. The same sex Romeo and Juliet clone should be called ‘Romeo and Jules’. So easy.

[@anitanielsen1061]

Or Julian

[@anitanielsen1061]

Romeo and Julian is also Right There. ..I’m probs saying that cuz I was thinking of Beyblade’s Julian lol

[@kaiserruhsam]

@@anitanielsen1061 yeah julian is better because it preserves all the iambic pentameter

[@anitanielsen1061]

I somehow thought of the “🎶Romeo and Juliette🎶“ pop song like “🎶Romeo and Julian🎶“ lmao

[@Jane-oz7pp]

​@@anitanielsen1061 you'd have to really stretch the pronunciation into Julianne, but given the tilted way that you're meant to present Shakespearean lines, that works so well

[@ghostporcupine]

"commerce is the enemy of art" you have stabbed me in the heart with the exact words I've been struggling to find for years

[@ernie39]

oo as a somewhat related tangent I've been reading a book called The Gift by Lewis Hyde that's focused on making that point! it's kind of a breakdown of the theory and value of gift-giving, how art is (ideally/at its core) a gift, and how commerce severs a gift's cycle of benefit/reciprocity

[@ghostporcupine]

@@ernie39 I love you so much, thank you for the rec!! I've been desperately trying to find actual citations to back up my points surrounding this idea

[@kennyl4699]

I'd like to recommend a video called "Home Movies: The Spirit of Creation" by EmpLemon, which discusses this very topic in-depth while talking about the show Home Movies.

[@ghostporcupine]

Thank you@@kennyl4699!

[@ringer1324]

0:09 OMG COUNT DRACULA IS BACK AS CO HOST. I thought he was permanently removed from the thought slime channel after that controversy he got into last year

[@lmoa3917]

Dracula is beating the bloodsucking allegations

[@CaitiffPrimogen]

Seeing a Dracula made me wonder if I'd accidentally clicked on Scaredy Cats video

[@shannonolivas9524]

​@@CaitiffPrimogen I'm not seeing Bobby Duke here so I think we're fine.

[@timothymclean]

Controversy? Did another woman report that Dracula sucked her blood? Look, guys, I get that that sounds absurd (why would a respectable podcaster even want to drink blood?), but the writing's been on the wall for a while.

[@Owesomasaurus]

Omg this is just classic undead discrimination. The Man just hates to see a walking corpse succeed in a living-supremacist world.

[@IceLaic]

As someone who tries to truly optimize her microwave button presses to the absolute limit, I’m horrified at the prospect of changing the absolute numbers for the sake of reducing finger movement. Especially because the 0 button is BARELY out of the way of the Start button. This would be a massive scandal if I had my way, on the level of finding out that a big name speedrunner has been splicing their runs or something. I may be on the spectrum a little bit.

[@Tai112336]

I appreciate that, in addition to Corolla's previous attempts at the character, the version of Mr. Birchum you describe as a demonic dark entity controlling the minds of Daily Wire "creators" also ends up being more real than Mr. Birchum in the show

[@brandymabry3995]

I heap praise upon you for looking so young at the ripe old age of 39

[@mattgroening8872]

Dude he looks 40

[@cerebreuxs]

​@@mattgroening8872i thought as THE matt groening you would understand jokes 😔

[@M0ONCommander]

queen of k-pop BoA is 40 and doesn't look a day past 22

[@FirstnameLastname-bn4gv]

Congrats on missing the joke fellas 👍🏻

[@SamuraiMujuru]

I know a number of veterans, and they DO like to go out to the various restaurants offering free meals on Veterans' Day, but it's always in a "I get to benefit from this thing I did/am doing and have a day where I can have nice meals without having to make it myself or pay out the nose for it."

[@Name-ot3xw]

My military relatives were the weirdos who spent those sorts of holidays by hanging flags and getting together with what mates were still alive. One or two who might spend it hanging out with the Veterans at AA.

[@tomithebunny]

My mom and I got so many free little caesar's personal pizzas. if you catch them right at the end of when they do their giveaways, since nowadays places usually have a set stock and end time for veteran's day stuff, sometimes they even give you more. One place gave us four. I really don't think places give out free fuckin booze though, c'mon.

[@ngotemna8875]

Hey, by all means: get your free food.

[@ItzGuerrero]

You mean like a normal person? Crazy.

[@TheDarthbinky]

Yeah, I've gotten my free Applebee's burger a few times. But it's not something I make a big deal about or feel I must do.

[@MrGruzefix]

God I hate, how a show about a shop teacher doesn't understand any of the tools they use as props. He pats THE CIRCULAR SAW BLADE?! He grabs something in the lathe WHILE IT IS ON?! He wears a Jacket while doing it? He gets a ruler stuck in the chuck? HOW?! They are so obsessed about men loving tools it is insanely funny how they seem to not understand the first thing about them...😅

[@fatcat1414]

Masculinity is itself an aesthetic performance to the types of conservatives who made this show. And unfortunately, 'research' and 'safety' are largely viewed as effeminate soyboy concepts.

[@magnafoxodyssey2127]

This could have been a funny bit and commentary piece about American Machismo if the show was actually interested in being funny and not just a filibuster sermon of the creator and co's political beliefs

[@josephpotter5766]

​@@fatcat1414 All gender is a performance, the problem is that conservatives think they're not allowed to rehearse, so they tend not to get the line reads down.

[@olliefischer]

for real, i got so much second hand anxiety just from watching a fictional animated character lovingly pat a circular saw blade. the thing probably wasn't even plugged in, but it doesn't matter. treat power tools like guns. even if they're not on, treat 'em like they're on.

[@cyanidenightshade]

Just watch King of the hill at this point

[@ferrisffalcis]

this video starts off like "hey look at this comedy" and halfway through it's writing advice and i'm in awe we are witnessing cosmic horror the likes of which could never be produced by real cosmic beings we are witnessing humans becoming AI through the machinations of a dysfunctional system there's so much potential for something like this to be deliberately written into a story mr. birchum is a story about god

[@JohnnyTheWolf-d3p]

That is no "cosmic horror", that is COMIC horror!

[@gabby3036]

29:10 I'm sorry, I'm here again. Why would it be Romeo AND ROMEO?! Why wouldn't it be Romeo and One of the Male Capulets?! I'm sorry, I don't remember anyone else's name but you know what I'm getting at here - that'd be like two dudes name John dating each other. Which I'm sure exists but COME ON.

[@twinpeople]

Romeo and Julian. It was right there! They wouldn't even have had to make much of an effort to think of something that at least resembled a joke, and they still settled on fuckin Romeo and Romeo.

[@TheMillenniumWitch]

Darnit, ya beat me to it. Though I was gonna throw Romeo and Julio out there.

[@toppersundquist]

When people use 'content' derogatorily, they're referring to Mr Birchum.

[@Aeon135]

They were so focused on if they could that no on- Actually no wait, wrong Jeff Goldblum quote They made it coz, like, you gotta make -something-

[@OneMadApple]

That joke from the original pilot, about George Washington Carver coming up with a ton of peanut-related inventions, but not peanut butter, was stolen from a title card at the end of the 2007 American Dad episode, "Black Mystery Month," (about a national conspiracy surrounding giving credit to Carver for inventing peanut butter) which came out several years before Birchum was apparently first pitched to Fox around 2010-2011.

[@SeisoYabai]

Eh? I don't think you can call referring to a bit of history/food trivia as stealing from another show.

[@herocarlisle]

Holy hell, Mildred! You've just described Darkseid and the Anti Life Equation better than any writer in 60 years. Bravo

[@kingcalamity6276]

I like to describe the Anti-Life Equation as: Empirical, mathematical proof that there is no hope

[@broshmosh]

@@kingcalamity6276 Empirical, imperical isn't a word :)

[@kingcalamity6276]

@broshmosh I knew that looked wrong but I was too sleepy to think about it

[@Hammage56]

Great bits to be had in this one, but I'd love to add that this is a rhetorical BANGER. The metafictional references are a great addition, the dissection of why it fails as a comedy is spot on, and it all flows in a current of emotional honesty and political awareness. Genuinely a Mildo 10/10, excellent work

[@scenedemon]

Honestly the concepts you delve into here about fiction being real is actually something I genuinely believe in. Art is one of the most powerful forms of magic we have and storytelling is how we got religion.

[@asmodiusjones9563]

I can’t stand it, I have like five comments about how King of the Hill did every one of these concepts better, but they keep coming. FYI 49:07 there is a KotH episode where Hank’s drunk boss is assigned to work with Habitat for Humanity as community service after a DUI conviction, and Hank is immediately angry because he’s been on the waiting list to volunteer at Habitat for years.

[@trouty606]

I feel like you and I are having the same brain aneurysm at watching Birchum mercilessly butcher the idea of comedy at concepts that KOTH did 15+ years ago. Hell, the entire premise of the Birchum show is basically a botched play at the one episode where Hank steps in to be a shop substitute teacher temporarily. Except that works because Hank is not only skilled, but clearly cares about the kids and thinks teaching them these skills is important. Not because they're lazy and woke, but because he's passionate about how you can feel proud in being able to make something with your own two hands and the tools you've got. And the villain isn't the liberal principal, but the school system itself and how underfunded it is. Hell, the episode basically ends the same way as Birchum's first episode, where the kids come to Hanks house to use his tools to finish their shop projects. Except the show had writers, so in KOTH, it's the kids experiencing the end of the show's plot arc, where THEY come over to Hank's of their own free will, because they show that Hank's brief time as their teacher made a real impact and gave them the desire to finish their projects because they were feeling that same satisfaction of building that Hank does. It's like, plot and themes and characters and frigging comedy were in that show, and it hurts my brain how Birchum both rips it off and fucks it up entirely.

[@asmodiusjones9563]

@@trouty606 we are left to wonder forever if the Birchum “writers” or whatever you’d call them had seen the KotH episode and created their own twisted version on purpose, or came up with a similar concept, executed much worse, on their own.

[@trouty606]

@@asmodiusjones9563 I can only assume if they did, it was actually unintentional since if they ripped off KOTH more overtly it might have meant a joke snuck into Birchum.

[@MrFutago87]

I firmly believe that people always put something of themselves in the art they create even if unintentionally or unknowingly. Now looking at Mr. Birchum the thing that really stands out to me is the seemingly strong desire of Adam Carolla to be handed success and praise for doing absolutely nothing and deep seated envy of newer generations being able to do that in his eyes, see the son being a Twitch streamer. Looking at the show through that lense doesn't just make the show itself really pitiable but Adam himself as well.

[@MLBlue30]

He must really despise Jimmy Kimmel for becoming a liberal with his own talk show.

[@DauphineProductions]

Time to grab myself some Borger King and watch an hour of Slime.

[@redstone9386]

Home of the wet puppet borger.

[@JohnnyTheWolf-d3p]

"Hmmm!"

[@GhengisJohn]

I was given like 30 pounds of hamburger by a food bank. I have not been able to get my mind off the day I gloriously dive into some burgers. SOON...

[@JohnnyTheWolf-d3p]

@@GhengisJohn Are you trying to get rid of the slime?

[@GhengisJohn]

No no. It's time for slime.

[@johnw06]

"He's just kind of puking, and you should laugh." That, I laughed at.

[@blockybaconman1413]

I love the background music used in the video. It fully gives the vibes that this entire show and everything surrounding it is both completely and utterly ridiculous and a genuinely grim look into the utter shell of a once (at least slightly) creative endeavor.

[@Barnaclebeard]

Aw so sorry to hear Rosanne died of complications of consuming a whole live calf.

[@jayjasespud]

They should have had one of those weird one-off horror episodes. The whole town starts experiencing weird spiral-related mishaps. Mr. Birchim builds a podium in the center of town (he's a carpenter) and gives a big speech about loss of individualism and how spirals are the newest woke trend. Then everyone straightens out and someone raises an American flag. Then it cuts to black.

[@notreallyhere67]

You forgot the screeching eagles and explosions :D

[@sporg5437]

@@notreallyhere67poorly rendered 3d eagle green screen

[@themadhoffer5802]

This comment made me think about just how funny it would be if a show started out like this, whith bad jokes and animation, but slowly more spirals come in, people start going crazy, and it just turns into the plot of uzumaki.

[@carysbebard3690]

​@@sporg5437 love intergrating green screen into a cartoon

[@transgenderbasketballplayer]

Jingo Ito

[@wrexvincent]

The whole thing with the 'donkey work' episode is also glossing over a lot in that an adult teacher told students to show up at his house without telling the parents to get 'extra credit'. Like how is that not a 1-1 grooming comparison? Oh right, this is on the DailyWire. The people who want to make it easy to groom kids

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

More people need to see this.

[@wadespencer3623]

It's part of the vast amounts of evidence that they throw around the accusation of grooming without understanding how it actually works. As a sub, I took ethics courses. Having kids over at your home without informing the parents or school gets you blacklisted for life, and for good reason.

[@renatocorvaro6924]

I now know that Mr. Birchum exists and, more importantly, I am reminded that Crank Yankers existed.

[@KidVolcano]

Yes! after this I may look for some Crank Yankers, or Fonejacker...

[@Levyathyn]

I genuinely can't believe they ended the pilot with a, "And then they all clapped," moment. EDIT: I have to say, I wasn't expecting the thumbnail to tease an actual comparison and reveal in the video. Very interesting, very well done.

[@alexc.4909]

The concept of an evil extradimensional entity/concept exerting its power over our world through creative works is really cool, I might have to use it in a DnD homebrew at some point.

[@VultureSkins]

You might like SCP articles about memetics or similar

[@alexc.4909]

@@VultureSkins Honestly I don't know how I didnt realize that what I was describing was basically a memetic scp lmao

[@hellothere9520]

The Magnus Archives actually did something similar iirc!

[@0meAcat1]

Who's lila

[@terpsidance.]

I'd recommend reading the neverending story, or watching the movie

[@adamklevy]

The elephant hardware store joke is so fucking good

[@burtonmoore996]

As a veteran, veteran's day food crawl is a real thing. Though not for getting blackout drunk, but for getting three days worth of free restaurant left overs.

[@flibberfrogman5508]

I think restaraunt leftovers are a US thing, they're not really a thing in the UK at least. I don't know if they're a thing in Canada, that could be the confusion?

[@sallybanner]

my god, mildred, you really killed it with this one. mind blown

[@KaelWrit]

It is WILD to have specifically Vietnamese people be mad anyone would criticize the US. Like do we have to remind a literal boomer that Vietnam happened? eta like I just referred to the war as "Vietnam" instead of "The Vietnam War" without even considering it. That's how big 'Nam is in our culture in the US. AND YET.

[@kingofsting19]

6:45 I hate-watched the first season, but it wasn't until this moment that I realized the reason why they had a different kid other than the teacher's pet kid be excited about Mr. Birchum's home improvement assignment is because that's the same kid who they have speak Spanish later on, and give an impassioned defense of Birchum for teaching work ethic. See, the Daily Wire is invoking the """natural propensity""" of Mexicans to love and be good at manual labor. Because Adam Carolla.

[@Vesperitis]

Are you kidding me? The only content about Mr. Birchum I've been consuming are video essays by progressives talking about how gay it actually is. MORE CONTENT ON MR. BIRCHUM I SAY.

[@andu1854]

Anything that points out how much Adam Corrolla is a one trick pony hack, I am all for it

[@orestes0883]

I mean, when his origin story is that he was going to be an astronaut until he saw some hot, sweaty guys and said "Nevermind, I'll have one of those please", they aren't wrong. I just think it's funny, instead of the end of the world.

[@atraxisdarkstar]

Daily Wire: Could have made any series they wanted, could have made a modern King of the Hill that makes conservatives look rational and reasonable and progressives look absolutely insane - makes a shitty unironic American Dad starring a neutered cheap copy of what an idiot thinks Ron Swanson was supposed to be.

[@codenamerondo114]

It’s so wild that what they’re *trying* to do exists. This is just king of the hill minus the jokes and ability to be self aware

[@natebeynon]

That must be why their house looks just like the Hill’s

[@Stolskai]

52:40 Yet the funny thing is if Berchum became a tradesman, he'd instantly be forced to eat his own words because it would require a much higher amount of effort and work than what he does teaching, and he wouldn't have a class worth of people who he can treat like garbage when he feels insecure or wanting to complain about his problems.

[@johnathonnow]

I like the part where Mr. Birchum clearly does not know how to properly use a table saw ever.

[@theblakedestroyer]

I didn't think a video about Mr. Birchum could be this interesting

[@ThoughtSlime]

And you were correct!

[@makiaveluz]

Sorry to correct you mr Slime but this video is in fact this interesting. Don't mind me, I was attempting to make a joke but i realize it doesn't work and now I am just yapping.

[@townzen190]

I wish we all had the gift of gab.

[@stevenyukabacera160]

RIP Roseanne Barr, she's snorting Ambien in Heaven now

[@MrGruzefix]

Legend is, she did of embarrassment from hearing a funny story from RFK about a bear.

[@SamhainVenus]

Minor point-- schools are often open of veterans day. Because we host veterans day assemblies, that janitors hate, that students ignore, teachers think is a waste of time, and the vets themselves just kinda sit back and talk themselves. But we get black Friday off for it so. Okay

[@ernie39]

the school I work at had Veterans Day off, but that didn't stop them from holding an assembly the Friday before. we sang various patriotic songs including take me out to the ball game

[@jujutaylor2186]

I'm from Pennsylvania and we never had school on veterans Day we always had school closed

[@wadespencer3623]

@@ernie39 Ah the one written by somebody who only watched baseball years later. And thought it sucked. He was correct.

[@magicrainbowkitties1023]

It largely depends on the school district. The one I was in for elementary and middle school didn't, but the one I was in for high school did.

[@comp.lex4]

i love your illustrative meandering nonjoke at 13:00. i was dying laughing, and then reawtched it almost immediately

[@ConvincingPeople]

There is a two-part episode of Behind the Bastards about the Silicon Valley "AI" cult mentality, in which Robert Evans talks about the techbro accelerationists' favourite philosopher Nick Land and his concept of hyperstition, the notion that reality itself is shaped by the lenses through which we view it and the beliefs which mould those lenses, and towards the end of the second part, he discusses how the push towards generative art is in many ways an attempt to reshape the world in this way to better fit the worldviews of people like Andreessen and Musk, because actual artists have human desires of their own and can imagine and create visions of better worlds which a machine definitionally cannot. Something like this show may not be the product of a large language model-although, certainly, parts of The New Norm are-but it's reflective of the same desire reflected in such endeavours, which one sees repeated over and over again, from Charles Maurras and Julius Evola through the John Birch Society and Flat Earthers, to shout their myths into reality, to reify their will through lies told as if they were truths. To that end, this video is a great companion to something like the final monologue in Dan Olson's "In Search of Flat Earth"; to another, I was immediately reminded of hazel's "a normal creepypasta retrospective", which is much less overtly political but riffs on that postmodern idea of collective reification in a thoroughly entertaining way, and honestly has a tone which complements this video really well.

[@josephpotter5766]

This is a fantastic comment, i'm down for any comment that can use the phrase 'collective reification' both correctly, and without a tongue in cheek. Genuinely smart.