Three Options for Solving Problems (Ross Greene #5)

There are three ways in which adults try to solve problems with kids: Plan A (which is unilateral problem solving), Plan C (dropping the problem completely), and Plan B (that's the one you want to get really good at).

[@cajunbeauty7654]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! Just finished this series of videos, and I feel like I can finally put into words what I have been unknowingly doing with my son most of the time. And can finally explain to his teachers and my spouse/his father!!!! 😄😄 Wowww!! I was also the same as a kid! 😂😂😂

[@constancemiller3753]

I'm glad you found a way to be a parent instead of turning to the violence, isolation or ignorance that society demands.

[@lynnmalo1503]

thank you for what you do. I read your book The Explosive Child and it changed everything with my "challenging" kid.

[@constancemiller3753]

Thank you. My challenging kid is a beautiful person but he is challenging. This guy is the only thing that gives me hope.

[@rawsomechef]

My son has just turned 16 and he is rarely home. Addicted to computers and gaming. Has given up sports, friends and fresh air. Doesn't help. I can not to or say pretty much anything, anymore. I am a single mom and no male role model. Quite the challenge. All i want and need and desire: a healthy and healing solution!

[@yingfang5683]

My heart goes for you. I have a 10 year old boy and i can see him heading down the same way as your boy. It gives me a lot of stress, frustration, and depression. Hope Dr Ross can help.

[@end3rzl33t]

Good stuff! Now send this guy to Washington to fix those politicians!

[@zanfear]

Especially in the era we're living in right now.

[@aguyfromnothere]

@@zanfear Its only getting worse

[@1sola1verita40]

Wish I had known all this 23 years ago.....!!

[@UrbanHomesteadMomma]

Ouch… some of this one kinda slaps me right in the face… 😬 But to be clear, I likely needed it

[@martinayari3529]

I wish my son's kindergarten teachers watched this video...

[@ujoepost]

I wish all my elementary school teachers watched this

[@mls5555]

Doctor, I need help with my son. I read the book "the explosive child" I am Debbie and my son is Jennifer. All I can think of is my son. I need more help though. I joined also the Facebook groups and asked numerous questions. But I still don't understand. I need help. Who can I ask, please help me.

[@corinnadrust6857]

Read his books!

[@constancemiller3753]

Buy his books for the decider at your kid's school.

[@wkdbty]

What if one of the parents refuses to work on plan B because he ONLY believes in plan A. What do we do then?

[@constancemiller3753]

Show the A type parent the "what result do you want? We've done A and it is achieving??????

[@aguyfromnothere]

Plan A works fine for generations. Plan B may be better. Your spouse is not maladaptive they are just using a method which has worked for generations but might not be working for your child. Best to be on the same page so best to work together and talk openly about the disagreement. Crucial Conversations book is pretty good.

[@farmerchick3040]

Have him listen to some of this. Not all children are the same.

[@TheChristineLacey]

10 minutes in and I still don't know plan B

[@tdeniseechols7434]

Chris Lacey Plan B is in another series of videos.

[@MirandaPenningtonSongs]

Read "the explosive child" or get in on audible. It's really necessary, if you want to follow the "collaborative problem solving" parenting method.

[@PragmaticPursuits]

I truly believe we can assist children with challenging behaviors develop skills to aid them in navigating difficult situations in a much healthier manner but the idea that we as educators, caregivers or mental health professionals can “fix” a child is absurd. The truth is for most of these children this will be a struggle that will continue on into their early adulthood and possibly even longer for some. I’m not suggesting we give up but the reality is we cannot control the environments that have cultivated this lack of skill. We can plan B in school all we want but if these techniques are only being practiced in school and not at home we are just applying a bandaid to a wound that needs stitches.

[@kaytiekelm9735]

ebony silva ebony silva Which is exactly why you involve parents in your teaching. You help teach them as you teach their child. You make them a part of "the team" rather than keeping them at arms length. If parents are not invested, then you have an extra job on your hands, and you make them invested. You travel into the child's world, teach them using a subject matter they enjoy, continue meeting them at their level rather than expecting them to come into the neurotypical world and you build up their trust, and the trust of their parents. You learn about them while they learn from you. It's a give and take relationships, how can you expect them to move even a tiny bit from their comfort zone if they are feeling nothing but "invasive teaching and possibly on unsolicited terms. Which brings me to the point where you mentioned" the environments that have cultivated this skill". Did you watch this man's first video in this series? A lot of these children do not control this. There was no "cultivating". These skills do not have to be learned or simply "picked up on", it is how their brain is wired and part of who they are. By starting out thinking this was in some way (conscience or unconsciencely) some of their doing, you are setting them up and their parents to fail.

[@oliviadebruyn774]

I am slightly lost. I get what you are saying but the whole plan B thing doesn't work. If my 5 year old who has ADHD and SPD says to me he needs to visit his grandmother daily because he has to and I give him 3 alternative days it still causes a meltdown just because he has to. Totally lost

[@constancemiller3753]

ALSUP (assessment of lagging skills & unsolved problems). Difficulty with ....?

[@mxrichardsonsneighbourhood5402]

To me, the question is: why does your child feel he needs to visit his grandmother daily? What is it that he feels he gets with his grandmother that he feels he may not be getting elsewhere? Then, how can you and the other adults in his life help him get that in other ways that work for you and him both?

[@farmerchick3040]

Try video chat. Some have fun filters as well. Put it on your phone and grandmas.

[@antoniod]

My parents threw UBER-Plan A!

[@sunsetjoseph]

So a child's concern is usually sensible let alone of equal value to that of a reasonable adults?

[@KirkbyKev]

Yep.

[@breezybre2670]

Yes it is of equal value as the child is of equal value. It doesn't mean the child's concern is sensible to us as adults but they are very real to kids.

[@aguyfromnothere]

Its not tough to see why people use plan A. Its your only option with children (its silly to collaborate with a 2 year old) but they dont transition as kids grow older.

[@nancymitchell863]

10:16