Thunder Junction Eriette , theftmaxxer

Give me eminent domain wizards I need to construct highways
I’m sponsored now! Use “MALD” at coolstuffinc.com so they don’t Get Me
#magicthegathering #mtg #mtgcommunity #mtgcommander #cardgame

[@A-Legitimate-Salvage]

“I can totally be trusted with the Louisiana Purchase being a game mechanic” Words of a very normal and trustworthy person :)

[@voratheexplorer6442]

GIVE ME THE LOUISIANA PURCHASE

[@jamietheshaymin9290]

Actually lost it when he said that

[@lancesmith8298]

Manifest Destiny: “You have Louisiana, dipshit, it came free with your continent”

[@gravityman5319]

I think Mald needs to see Eldrazi Conscription, the only enchantment that looks at a creature and says "Fuck it, you're now the secret Fourth Titan"

[@Dyllon2012]

Wow, in a surprising twist, it turned out that that Niv-Mizzet was actually an Eldrazi and is now working for me!

[@exiledhero3791]

I mean, he was already a sliver, so fuck it, eldrazi too

[@bleachfan614]

E.C. was the first one that came to mind when he said "big booty enchantments".

[@lancesmith8298]

The problem is that it’s the only Aura bigger and stronger than anything Jotaro’s cooking, and Astral Wingspan, the crap card he showed, is as high as it gets for non-theft high cost Auras in just about any color. Either you’re tutoring Clifford the Big Colorless Aura, or you’re sweating and dying the entire time because somebody’s commander costs 6

[@nissveneficus1860]

Honestly I’m more worried how bestow interacts, because if WotC decides to go crazy (untrustworthy they may be, I doubt they will), bestow counting as the cmc similar to pay x spell’s could have interesting effects.

[@prysthaea7735]

"I've mever gotten with anyone because of what their bones look like" is so real I love it

[@MakeVarahHappen]

For once I agree with non-land because it's less about "uwu, don't touch my precious lands" and more "it would be way too easy to steal all of someone's zero mana permanents."

[@specialk5523]

I don’t want to deal with these Asinine Antics with my gnome army in play.

[@seanheath4492]

@@specialk5523So Eriette is going to confiscate all of Anim Pakal's action figures?

[@specialk5523]

@@seanheath4492 NOOOOOOOOoooo!!! It took me 3 turns to make them. 😭😭😭

[@aradraugfea6755]

Yeah, but there's so few Auras that target opposing lands and don't give them some negative effect. Though A spreading seas in this case becomes ramp for the blue player. Also, if I'm reading her right, kill the enchantment, get your shit back.

[@jackbennett6902]

@@aradraugfea6755 So I just looked it up, there are 35 land aura cards in Esper. LET ME LOUISIANA PURCHASE!

[@johnnywoodson4231]

PREACH BESTIE PREACH! When I first saw this card I genuinely didn't see the word "nonland" and was like: "Finally, a consistent way to reenact imperialism in MTG."

[@lancesmith8298]

“Many Magic the Gathering players ask themselves the question: can I use MTG mechanics to become British?”

[@jacobd1984]

@@lancesmith8298Thunder Junction is the Western set though, so it wouldn’t be Britain 😬

[@johnnywoodson4231]

​@@jacobd1984Maybe in a few years they'll introduce the Victorian England set and Eriette will finally reach her final form.

[@fernandob2275]

“I’m gonna have her leave her skin on” What a gentleman lol

[@ilshail153]

It's a necessary evil that her ability can't target lands imo. While green ramp *deserves* it... going full colonizer and stealing lands is just two steps away from becoming the person at the table who's constantly ramping and spamming big dummy spells. We would have become the very thing we sought to destroy...

[@nicmalugin-dm9ju]

On a side note if you can transform something like Oublitte or whatever it’s called into an aura you can wipe whatever you want of the face of the board forever with out it being able to come back

[@ardinhelme687]

Two words: Eldrazi Conscription.

[@XTempestBuster]

NAH MATE

[@jthrone7768]

The ole eldrazi switcheroo

[@beepboprobotsnot3748]

oh no

[@seanmurphy3430]

Oh my God Eldrazi Conscription can actually conscript things. My prayers have been answered.

[@Unit-3D]

Drop Eldrazi Conscription onto the Avacyn player's commander. You know you want to.

[@nicholasfarrell5981]

1:27 - no you're not, and no you can't.

[@dagdamor1]

I’m going to need a full week to figure out which of your bars in this video was the best.

[@andrueurbane7361]

As always, the answer is... the lowest bar. /s

[@bryanstrahm9961]

New Eriette about to be Conscripting more Eldrazi than anyone has ever seen.

[@Vullek]

we need some of those big green enchants like Colossification. Green always gets the good shit damn.

[@dejanlaurent3075]

Ah yes she got level or rizz so strong she makes the other team play for her, Satoru would be proud .

[@Dragonshade64]

I think I know what this is a reference to and it's nice to see that the shippers have already begun. god speed to them.

[@lauralharris]

The shipping has begun

[@darkma1ice]

>I’ll play a land and a creature >Eriette: you mean OUR creature

[@adeptsofstygiesviii]

Absolutely based

[@hexbox2182]

Dumb thought: what’s the cmc of an opponent? I know this wouldn’t work but it would be funny if you cursed someone and then got control over there turns

[@dragoknighte48]

Sadly players don't count as permanents. Wizards already cowarded away from these kinds of interactions when they stopped Door to Nothingness' ability from being worded as "Destroy target player"

[@almond5284]

Players are Emblems that let you cast spells and have life totals

[@Dragonshade64]

Are you asking if you can take control of you opponents with Psychic possession? That sounds like a delightful degree of shenanigans if it's actually a legal thing.

[@VivBrodock]

eldrazi conscription now actually conscripts

[@finnmchugh99]

This may be the bane of green decks...you put all that work into pumping up a huge creature then your opponent swipes it.

[@mistertaz94]

Oh wow thats a really big hydra you got there pal. It's what? 3000000/300000 because you cast it's X value repeatedly right? Right. Whats the converted mana value of X on spells again? Oh right it was 0. So here's how we're gonna play, I just gave it Phantom Wings and that shits mine now.

[@JayemelMusicUniverse16]

FINALLY!!!! lol

[@OMAGAICE122]

So. Uh. Here to formally request a read-over of Obeka, Second Spliter on the behalf of the Kamigawa Reconstruction Initiative, otherwise known as SHRINES EVERYWHERE!

[@lancesmith8298]

My immediate thought upon seeing Becky again was “I’m going to hell if I play Necrogen Mists. More than usual anyway”

[@almond5284]

@@lancesmith8298 she'll only ruin your own hand, my guy. Unless that's your plan.

[@lancesmith8298]

@@almond5284 If I simply play every other card in my hand and then Necrogen Mists, then the problem solves itself. >Yeah, but what about things like Phyrexian Arena? If there’s two upkeep card draw effects out, then I’m still card-positive, and after a third or fourth, doesn’t matter anymore. >Oh not the card draw, I mean the life loss. Let me cook. >You’re not even gonna be able to gain life with Sulfuric Vortex out. It tastes better burnt.

[@BenMarcWilliams]

@@lancesmith8298 C'mon, buddy, at least use Cunning Lethemancer and Creeping Dread instead so you can force everyone to discard with you.

[@gakk8658]

Aah, I somehow had missed the nonland part, that ratchets down the fun considerably. Still, any commander that makes otherwise garbage cards good is a Commander that is fun.

[@jacobd1984]

Automatically gets (almost) any token though, so that’s nice at least.

[@loach5348]

I have GOTTA see the new Obeka, the amount of shenanigans that card can pull would make artifact decks look fair and balanced

[@almond5284]

I'm already out here Upkeepmaxxing with Lynde Cheerful Tormentor, and now that Obeka is strutting in, things are gonna get SILLY.

[@almond5284]

Also how dare Obeka, Splitter of Seconds not have *split second*

[@confehdehrehtheh]

I'm like 87% sure she works with the Arcanum Wings + Eldrazi Conscription combo to steal real big lads. Doesn't require a cast for the aura, and you're the one that activates Arcanum Wings. Sure they get to fly for a bit, but you have an instant speed "steal this" button now.

[@connorhamilton5707]

This does work. Aura Swap puts the new aura onto the battlefield attached to the same object, as long as it's an eligible thing to be enchanted by the new aura (can't put an "enchant player" onto a creature, or an "enchant creature you control" onto an opponent's creature).

[@hugmonger]

"I'm just gunna have her leave the skin on" Mald! Damn it I almost woke up my roommates laughing so much

[@kacyhasthecandy]

Currently building up the courage to go to my local lgs to buy cards for my first commander deck (group hug eriette of the charmed apple) then you hit me with this. Fuck giving other people gifts, I should be getting myself little gifts in the form of everyone else's shit.

[@scruffyryan]

Group hug is overrated, play ojer axonil and the tap to do 1 to everyone guys....group thug>group hug

[@TheCaptainstupendous]

“I’ve never gotten with anybody because of what their BONES looked like” Spoken like a true ally 🏳️‍⚧️

[@suzibean]

I don't care what bones she got imma leave the skin on. Ah I love your subtle allyship - bless you 💖

[@einstein951]

Infinite Reflection "Not only is your creature mine but now all my creatures are your creature and now they're gonna beat your face in"

[@General_Nothing]

So do we think that glamour is only visual? When you touch her can you feel her actual features?

[@kristiandahl1310]

As if Zur decks didnt need a mistress to help them. also calling out Thalia and the gitrog monster roast our bae ridding a frog i dare you.

[@deusexmachina3047]

I'd like to see you talk about the new Gonti, and possibly the old Gonti. Gonti is my favorite character from MTG.

[@flumm3287]

While I agree that green deserves it, removing that nonland word can give her an easy 3 piece steal all lands with Kormus Bell, Urborg, and Asinine Antics

[@sofer2230]

Ah, yes, easy combo of 3 cards, your commander, and, 12 mana. Meanwhile Boros Charm + Armageddon exists.

[@flumm3287]

@@sofer2230 Meanwhile, Eriette can't run boros charm and this combo doesn't actually exist because of the nonland restriction. I'm just messing with hypotheticals

[@bradsimpson8724]

Two things: 1) I currently do not have an Esper deck; I haven't had one since my Oloro got disassembled some years ago. 2) I have never built an enchantress deck that was not Selesnya. I don't think I was in a rush to change either of those things, and I haven't paid much attention to the spoilers for awhile now because of how close together the set releases are. But I think I may have an Esper enchantment deck ready for testing in the early part of May.

[@TheGiggleMasterP]

The nature of sexuality in MtG has never had a better advocate 😅

[@Geneo1700]

Day 8 of asking for Teysa, Orzhov Scion

[@joeknutson5798]

First and I want this commander

[@stripeybag6977]

Your partner having skin is pretty important. Day 202 Either Nashi would be nice to see Moon's Scion or Moon's Legacy

[@BenMarcWilliams]

She looks better with her makeup on, but so what? That's what makeup is _for._ Some girls have L'Oréal, Eriette has literal witchcraft.

[@BloodyAltima]

No fam, we both know what's up. You ain't un-ramping the green player. You're dunking on the guy who got a little shafted on lands early on so you can just bunt him out of the game entirely. I see the devil in you.

[@jthrone7768]

This deck makes Sigarda’s Aid much scarier. Stealing people’s shit off the stack lol.

[@rivalthoughts2061]

Day 413 of Can I please get a Piru The Volatile review.

[@musha45]

As a green player, take it. By turn 4 my mana ramps would be higher anyways so you would be taking the same one mana either way

[@AZDfox]

Let's be real, makeup is also just cosmetic and no one has ever not hit it because they were wearing makeup. She just has that magic makeup.

[@robertpreteroti3459]

“I have never gotten with anybody because what their bones look like, I’m just gonna have her leave the skin on.” 😂 I’m stealing this.

[@majinvegeta6364]

It's time we just made it official and ban winning in commander. Winning ruins the game for casual players and should only be allowed at cEDH tables. Also, using tutors, boardwipes, counterspells, wheels, infect, eldrazi, slivers, combos, reserved list cards, or mana rocks that cost less than 3 mana makes you a bad person who should be permanently exiled from all LGS and playgroups.

[@evanprimeau3810]

Your LGS must have an absolute critical mass of hyper casuals to be this sick and tired of hearing complaints. My condolences.

[@hanschristopherson8056]

That’s the longest can they get explantation I think you’ve given 😂

[@GeneralCDragon]

Me hard-casting Eldrazi Conscription 😩

[@sarahbuck2506]

Arcanum Wings is your friend here

[@GeneralCDragon]

@@sarahbuck2506 Not really. Arcanum Wings is a 2 drop, and that won't take control of anything important. Its Aura Swap also wouldn't trigger the cast trigger.

[@sarahbuck2506]

@@GeneralCDragon It isn't a cast trigger though. It's "whenever an aura you control becomes attached", which will trigger her ability when it enters.

[@GeneralCDragon]

​@@sarahbuck2506You're right, I misread that. Thats a decent effect. Really only good if I have a lot of high cost Auras, though. But ninjutsuing out enchantment auras sound fun.

[@sarahbuck2506]

​@GeneralCDragon It really is lol. I run it in Ivy, Gleeful Spellthief, so whichever one doesn't get blocked is getting Colossification as a combat trick

[@insanemang9983]

So...if you aura curse a player do you take control of them?

[@kingofbudokai]

Depends on the players CMC :p

[@sythrus]

We need one on the one eyed coinflip twins, oakun and zndrsplt

[@isaacjames2682]

When I saw her, my first thought was "Oh! I like her more than the other one!", then I realized "Oh... the other one is better..." Then I thought "But this one can also run the old one." But I ended at "If I'm making Esper Steal, why am I looking at her instead of Sen Triplets?" Long story short, she's wonderful, but she's not triplets. Also, she's not better than Marchesa the Black Rose. The jury is still out on the new Dealer of Death though. Since the Black Rose is older, I would rather have her roasted. No offense.

[@trevorjamieson8892]

I'd think there are some benefits to this the triplets don't have. 1. This comes on a whole turn earlier, letting you begin theft shenanigans faster. 2. Eriette has 4 toughness compared to triplets 3 toughness, putting it out of the bolt threshold. 3. Eriette's focus on auras allows it to more easily pivot to killing with the commander, should your theft shenanigans fall out. 4. Eriette's ability allows theft from all players at the same time, and at flash speed. 5. This allows you to use good enchantment payoffs in your deck, like Mesa Enchantress, Sigil of the Empty Throne, or even Sphere of Safety. I'd say there are good reasons to choose this over Triplets.

[@connorhamilton5707]

Don't forget bestow creatures and Licids can be auras. Also, here's some nice enchantment movers for when you want to control something else: Ardenn, Intrepid Archaeologist Aura Finesse Aura Graft Crown of the Ages Enchantment Alteration Kitsune Mystic//Autumn-Tail, Kitsune Sage (cheap repeatable aura movement once flipped) Fumble Shielded By Faith (MV3; can move itself when a creature enters)

[@davidpeters1613]

The last line of the video. One of the greatest lines ever. THAT is how you say it

[@BabyDuckKaspar]

Day 28 of asking for Bane, Lord of Darkness, the Kpop front man who is allegedly the God of Tyranny and Strife

[@kcosofsky7338]

ohhh you're literally cooking with the land stealing.... your vision....

[@lameemo]

Leave the skin on: Not bad when you're making mashed potatoes. Absolutely unhinged when you're talking about potential sexual partners

[@AvaricioDues]

I’m more Excited for Rakdos, The Muscle and Laughing Jasper Flint to add to my Prosper, the Tome-Bound deck for more stealing shenanigans

[@SmashedFish76]

Fuck nonland, this deck doesn't even get Utopia Sprawl. If I take your Path of Ancestry in Esper, that's your fault, George.

[@zpinkerton7946]

We're getting to a point where you need to 100% guarantee your commander is hexproof AND phases out on demand if you wanna use it, man. (Also once again requesting Urtet) (Or Wernog (+Bjorna?))

[@DAsrada]

And of course, the new Pearl-Ear takes a look at cards like Celestial Mantle and goes "Why not both big booty enchantment AND cheap enchantment"?

[@The1AndOnlyGoldenboy]

Eriette is definitely a GILF. No doubt about it.

[@sgtCalamari]

everyone sleeping on Court of Vantress......... Make token copies of high-CMC Auras, those tokens would have the same CMC and Eriette will trigger when the token Aura becomes attached

[@dubiousbrick4483]

Okay, we’ll I guess I’m making ANOTHER Esper deck

[@deucesommerfeld1248]

Day 64 of asking for Magda, Brazen Outlaw also MILF GAME STEP UP

[@like17badgers]

I dont think people are prepared to learn just how degenerate this card is. the Aura decks have been waiting YEARS for something like this that enables the "top end" enchantments to not be just MASSIVE blowouts. you strap "if the target has cmc less than this card's cmc, fuckin steal it" to cards like Angelic Destiny or Celestial Mantle. like it's all fun and games until Ensoul Artifact steals a Sol Ring or nobody can play creatures cause Necrotic Plague is out. day 13 of asking for Baron Von Count!

[@evanprimeau3810]

I'm telling all you down bad thirsty nerds right now: she might have two more colors, but this Esper man eater is just Tergrid with extra steps, and I have no pity for you if you drop hundreds of dollars building this deck just to find out you're marked for death the moment you sit down. You think Casual Commander players are gonna let a literal declaration of war like Eriette live for even a fraction of a second? Even if she isn't eating every removal spell known to man, your opponents are probably going to be throwing more aggro your way than if you wore a red suit to a Spanish Bull Run, a color you might as well be wearing since you'll soon be bleeding lifepoints faster than the Rowan player with a Necropotence. For god's sake, her text box effectively reads "Every Aura in your Deck is now Snatch Steal, from Yugioh", except they spontaneously grow wings and put on forty pounds of muscle, and for any deck that cares about their Commander, them's fightin' words. Build what you want, but remember: this is a social format, and player removal isn't just an in-game mechanism. Players at your LGS can, and will, tell you to play a different deck, or make you the archenemy in every game.

[@qwormuli77]

The Louisiana Purchase isn't the problem when coercively trading with the -land baron- green player you hate. It's a problem when you become what you hate by copying enchantments and stealing from the already poor player behind on lands, only to Hurkyl's Recall their rocks with mana you garnished from their untap. Letting the esper player build their own Black(mana)Rock, Inc. is not a wise move. It's confirmed: Mald's hatred of green comes not from a point of disgust, but from envy.

[@szylaj]

YESSSS THEY PUT ROOTWATER MATRIARCH INTO COMMAND ZONE XD

[@hemogoblin3076]

Mald. You are forgetting. We have plenty of big booty enchantments. Enchantment creatures!

[@S.Grundy]

You want the Louisianna purchase? Sen Triplets fits those colors... but only for lsnds still in their hand

[@MrTripleM3]

Maldhound, all colors need to step their milf game since 2016 because we got our WBRG dommy mommy Saskia.

[@ImmortalSoul7756]

Day 21 of asking for Silver Overlord review, with Amoeboid Changling spin to salt. I will be stealing your suger momma

[@radiantburrito]

Day 19998 of sliding pics of Kami of the Crescent Moon into your inbox. 🌙

[@Unyubaby]

So I have a game mechanics question. If I play Curse of Disturbance and enchant target player, do I now own the player? Just asking for science.

[@mofomiko]

Y'all hate ramp THAT much, that you see an effect that turns every aura into removal and think "this is fine, and not the most obnoxious thing ever". I think you forgot, that green absolutely hates unnatural the most and eats enchantments for breakfast - unlike pretty much every other colour, who are gonna be the real victims here, y'all fake ass good samaritans "i '''''just''''' wanna steal sum lands uwu". Matter of fact, I will only pull up against eriette flashing grove street colors

[@emmettceglia]

My 97.5th day of requesting Liesa, Shroud of Dusk.

[@Yorsem]

Please roast "The Balrog, Durin's Bane", that card was MADE for your format

[@jonathanrobinson8926]

Never been more dissappointed to see a "non-land" clause. 😔 I thought my boi Equinox finally had a home..

[@loulou-ol2fg]

I absolutely despise any blue deck, even worse when its blue and black, add in white control? You're the first im killing... but this? Im gonna have to learn to play counterspells

[@grimsventure4439]

Please do “three Dog, Galaxy new DJ” I’ve never seen a water fall of card on turn 4 paired with “Light-Paws, Emperor's Voice” quite like that.

[@cazthearcher]

I just thought of a funny: If you consider players non land permanents, the simp game becomes immensely funny with auras (I know that’s not how it works, but I thought it be funny)

[@FaustTheIX]

Day 3 of asking for Liesa, shroud of dusk. Trust me Mald I know you gonna like this tax drain commander bro. She got them boots 👢 for ya

[@kaladelsol3432]

Asking for more green BS with Runadi, Behemoth Caller

[@HeraldOfOpera]

As someone else mentioned, the Eldrazi be actually Conscripting people now. Also, remember that most tokens are MV0. Marit Lage is apparently as much of a simp for her as you are.

[@zeldasattic1528]

The mycotyrant would be cool my favourite commander 7th time asking

[@TheSkullkid16]

Thank the Theros Gods that this creature is A, not in green, and B, not able to affect lands. Can you imagine the meltdown the green players would have if you started stealing their lands AND ramping better then them? Trample wouldn't just be a game mechanic to them anymore.

[@jodylester9118]

I'm running Zoetic Glyph and stealing One Rings.

[@codylucas6146]

Could you take a look at Grakmaw? It's gimmick is simple, but devious with It's color combo.

[@mjohn3126]

Day 1 of asking for Meria, Scholar of Antiquity

[@remixex369]

Regarding the unramping. You could steal a Marwyn with like 10 counters on it with a cheap aura.

[@NobodyDungeons]

Should've gotten green in the color scheme. Get come big boy enchantments like collosification because your dinosaurs are mine now.

[@kismet8010]

That closing line was pure Shakespeare

[@prestontrammell9907]

Patiently awaiting the day Wizards ends their cowardly ways and prints a version of Arlin Kord that’s playable as a commander so she can claim her rightful spot as Alpha Dog Milf

[@kirbyedwards7049]

Asking for a roast on Kalitas, Traitor of Ghet and Torbran, Thane of Red Fell. Day 117 of asking

[@RemUchiha]

Oh no no no no no, Mald don't do it. I'm not even gonna argue with you about whether or not the effect you propose is fair or balanced, I am concerned for your *safety*, you have said it yourself, green players would sacrifice their children before sacrificing a land drop, if you start stealing a green player's lands, they will shiv you in the ribs, only one of you is walking away from that table alive, it's not worth it.

[@luiscuadros8115]

I know we’re doing Thunder Junction decks but need you to review Ghyrson Starn soon please!

[@Rukalin]

So far there's only one MV>6 aura she properly works with: Eldrazi Conscription.

[@spatters127]

I once again humbly request a review of my boy Jared Carthalion

[@FURIASN]

Hidetsugu and Kairi, just for the flavor, please.

[@kabobawsome]

If they *didn't* include nonland, they run the risk of Redless land control becoming a thing with the Eldraine Role tokens and Estrid, the Masked.

[@jacobd1984]

Ok I hear you but I cannot support you. This is not your average catfish enchantment, we’re deep into biddy territory here.