Tim Dillon Rants About His Time Working on a Cruise Ship

[@publiusvelocitor4668]

Joe, high AF, trying to wrap his mind around the idea of a boat.

[@mrillis9259]

Once even extremely smart people didn't think steel to be a usable material at sea or air.

[@stevend481]

I cant wrap my mind around it sober

[@SJ-ni6iy]

A boat makes way more sense than a plane.

[@coryspann5774]

Joe “Boats are basically the same as a space ships dawgggg” Rogan

[@kathrynmcelroy5658]

XD.XD!

[@TheJDeuce]

"They're cruise people...the lowest caliber of human being that have ever drawn a breath" lmfao this whole clip has my stomach hurting

[@daddyrabbit835]

No shit, man. I enjoy a cruise once in a while. I've got to dive some amazing reefs that I usually wouldn't have access to. You also get treated like a king on those things. It's nice from time to time.

[@TheJDeuce]

@@daddyrabbit835 that's awesome. I've never been, but had opportunities and still will be open to it, but will forever think of this clip for laughter.

[@tomaxxamot4906]

That was one of the funniest things I've heard on this show

[@jja1483]

J2MTR this clip was facinating 😂

[@jja1483]

J2MTR lol ikr same here 😃😂😣🚢i think id be afraid these animals on the same ship 😂id probably be watching this clip on the cruise😃😣🚢🏃‍♂️

[@michaelspoto8720]

"I could have been a personal trainer on the boat" lol

[@ArmwrestlingJoe]

“How do you do it” Tim’s funny af

[@W.M1738]

@@ArmwrestlingJoe 😂😂

[@melixi0773]

@@ArmwrestlingJoe epic

[@Stevethelightingguy]

There was a little old lady that lived on one of the cruise ships because it was cheaper than an assisted living nursing home. She usually stayed on the same ship but would go to another when the ship needed maintenance. She had the highest level diamond platinum whatever card possible and for a regular fare always got upgraded to a penthouse suite. She was known to have different crew members over for supper every night, which made her loved by the crew. She got anything she wanted regardless of her platinum card. She was at sea so long, they gave her basic training so she could be on the crew manifest instead of the passenger log.

[@SKa-tt9nm]

Ok. What happened to her?

[@JohnDoe69986]

@@SKa-tt9nm she's floating on a ghost ship somewhere in the Bermuda triangle

[@shavedparmesanprosciuttoan4317]

There is an elderly couple who frequents the bar that I tend at. They spend their retirement cruising back to back because it’s cheaper than rent or assisted living, and when they’re in between cruises they just visit family in my town and come to the bar I work at, and then get up and cruise again. Their bags stay packed. Lots of elderly people spend their final years on cruise ships and often die onboard. That’s one reason why cruise ships have morgues.

[@Lilgus84]

I heard about this a long time ago. Good for that woman. She beat the system.

[@TheMikeMase]

as shitty as a cruise sounds, that sounds a fuck ton better than assisted living

[@koatam]

$109.00 for a 5 day cruise? That's cheaper than a pump and dump motel on the highway. That's cheaper than my rent. I think we cracked the code fellas. We solved homelessness.

[@PatriarchalCompass]

This comment is worth gold

[@SamDePrez]

A lot of older people actually do that, they live on cruises all their life as it's cheaper than owing a house, a car and going to the shop.

[@dtaylor6656]

I was coming here to suggest exactly this. Put em on cruises. win-win

[@xGWASx]

@@dtaylor6656 wait, so if i quit my job youll pay for me a cruise?

[@MrJoshlibby]

This example would be $109/day plus 30% gratuities (tips)/per day / per person minimum 2-3 people. Also have port taxes depending on which port your at.

[@christopherfernandez4157]

Me: “Joe Rogan is so insightful sometimes.” Joe: “How can a giant metal thing float?” Me: “This is not one of those times.”

[@mrillis9259]

This is a modern look compared to Joe who has abstract thought an can look at a steel ship the same way people once did.

[@christianrivera0712]

@@mrillis9259 what ? 😂

[@killermongo7128]

@@christianrivera0712 when you're high sometimes you just realize how amazing things are that we have come to take for granted like how a giant boat just floats

[@christopherfernandez4157]

@@mrillis9259 I agree people should take time to appreciate the wonders of now-commonplace technology (airplanes, the internet, etc.). "Wow, it's crazy that we figured out how to build flying machines" would've been a little more reasonable. Archimedes figured that out why heavy things float like 2,200 years ago.

[@Btn1136]

Tim’s response “it’s gross” 😂

[@HearTheMeow]

Tim looks like the type of person who would go on a cruise

[@macethegr8]

HYPER O good one

[@ShellDabs]

he literally looks exactly like another comedian that i seen on a norwegian cruise

[@squad7857]

What?

[@askmemum]

He’s gay so there’s that

[@God-w-]

@mike fightfan You're on KZbin calling people pussies. Well all know who the pussy is here bud.

[@Jb-yf9zv]

One minute: “i’m high” Next Minute: “Imagine it was in space”

[@agoodamerican614]

Avenue 5, HBO

[@yeeaahBUDDY]

Yah, that's obviously why he prefaced it with "I'm high", because he was about to say some highass things. Glad you figured out what occurred in plain site.

[@Jb-yf9zv]

yeeaahBUDDY that’s literally why i said that.

[@SunTzuMedia]

😂💀

[@SunTzuMedia]

@@yeeaahBUDDY Jesus, why are you so bitter? Come on, man! This is our time! We got to unite... There's no point to comment something like that... Stay well out there, bro. 💯💪

[@bossatron3544]

"Shes hot enough for him to cause a genocide" may be the funniest thing I'll hear in my life

[@raccoonski]

metal things floating don’t make sense to poor Joe. wait till he learns about airplanes

[@toejam119]

Airplanes do not float in air.

[@55MrRockets55]

This gave me a good hearty laugh

[@elijaharvinger1178]

They gave this guy 100 million dollars for "imagine your in space on a spaceship". And "Metal things floating is crazy".

[@samuelrappaport6162]

Lmao

[@elijaharvinger1178]

@AdamsAudiVlog * D rider.

[@NoConsistency]

Cruises are like miniature condensed Floridas that just float around.

[@jasraboin]

No Consistency hahahahaha

[@mosslinden5058]

excellent comment

[@selfactualizing]

😂

[@jakobbennett540]

No Consistency lol

[@torianholt2752]

Sans gators and pythons anyway...hopefully.

[@Garrus1995]

“Say, if your murdered your wife?” “You do something like that, you go to the cruise jail.” “The guy who threw his wife overboard, they threw him in the cruise jail?” “He went to cruise jail.” I don’t know why, maybe it’s just Joe’s genuine curiosity or Tim’s tone of voice, but I found this exchange so funny!

[@bob3007]

it gets even funnier when you realize they both forgot about the word "brig" after that much conversation lmaoo

[@beccaleigh7744]

He's definitely right about those libraries. The most writing I ever did in one sitting was in a cruise ship library. It was perfectly silent for a solid 11 hours.

[@kylocatky]

I actually had a similar situation in my college library...I was the first person to check out a book 😭

[@Ms123kill]

@@kylocatky what college did you go to

[@iamcinmal5015]

@@Ms123kill Harvard

[@revekat2053]

@@Ms123kill the one that aunt Becky paid for her kids to get in?

[@mrsir1872]

when i was 11 we made a group of us teenagers and we would hang out in the library all night bsing.

[@camdencapps6894]

“She’s hot enough for him to cause genocide” - Joe Rogan 2020 That has to be a JRE classic

[@PrettyProChannel]

I coulda been a personal trainer on that cruise. People look at me like how do you do it 😂😂😂😂😂

[@geoffreywilds4173]

“There are people who live on boats year round” Bro.... that’s the Navy 😂

[@lukestrong5779]

And like a literal tonne of other jobs in the marine industry

[@AnthonyScottGames]

Worked on royal and celebrity for 5 years, 6 month contracts followed by 2 month vacations

[@eisernfront8549]

Senior citizens actually lives in cruise ships coz it's cheaper than nursing homes or your typical Del Webb.

[@KPITGangsta]

...talk about a festering frothy Petri-dish.

[@jja1483]

Anthony Neary did u take a vacation on a cruise🤔😂😣

[@missgonyalado]

“Has anyone checked out a book?” “No...” 💀💀💀

[@brentsims6218]

For real though, who goes on a cruise to read a book? 🤣

[@nikko.lottsahcocc6917]

While lounging out in the sun by the pool for the afternoon.. I can see ppl doing that.. guess not tho

[@erichaynes7502]

@@nikko.lottsahcocc6917 Nick, they can't read. Nick, they can't read!

[@colincopland3665]

What a niche job: cruise ship librarian...

[@Ray_D_Tutto]

Sitting by the pool reading a book seems peaceful.

[@happydog6537]

It’s so funny Tim cannot get Joe to say that the people are trash, but he just keeps doubling down and going back and drilling in on it. I love it.

[@projectilecomet8382]

“There’s something funny about being on a vehicle that’s on another vehicle” 🤣🤣

[@vibe808]

I laughed at that

[@SuperBaby11]

Don't forget your body's a vehicle

[@jcrALLday]

Really wanted that one to breath little haha now I gotta watch the whole thing

[@penjani]

😂😂😂

[@atomknight8361]

@@SuperBaby11 Our body is a cage

[@jopo7996]

The worst thing that can happen to you on a cruise ship, is being behind Tim in the buffet line.

[@ChaseAcheck408]

or John pinette

[@1Learn2Swim3]

@@ChaseAcheck408 Bahaha

[@pollyanna147]

Ralphie and lee syatt

[@viktorreynisson1619]

made my day hahhaha

[@allanjim3]

@Jo Po - Actually the worst thing that can happen to you on a cruise ship, is finding Tim behind you after he’s done a few lines!! 😳 I guess you didn’t know he’s gay?!

[@LeoPalone]

"The lowest caliber of people to ever draw a breath" Tim Dillon is a national treasure

[@MrSxesamuel]

“The lowest caliber of human beings to ever draw a breath” lmao that one got me

[@buffalomind6838]

Damn! Lower than child molesters, rapist, serial killers, and candy thieves? That’s some interesting shit to know in case I’m ever on Cash Cab I’m winning boys the double or nothing, cause who would ever know that correct answer.

[@SpizzWiz]

Matt Skylar ....What???

[@KLLERSK-uh1fv]

@@SpizzWiz he’s cruise people

[@APC9906]

Tim Dillon is still a member of the group he rants about.

[@MrShadowpanther3]

He recognizes that but he also mentions around the usual crowd HE is the SKINNY GUY.

[@RamiroEloy1997]

Well yeah, that’s how he knows

[@playea123]

It's part of the reason he is so funny

[@codyquinn4954]

Thou doth protesteth too much Tim

[@TheLouisianan]

lol I'll always be a Pizza Hut employee then. We were a ragtag team of college kids and drug addicts. Not much difference tbh

[@flonkas]

Never heard of this guy but he’s a national treasure lmao every time he talks I already know it’s gonna be hilarious

[@suhkmadiq2992]

You think this is gold? Check out his podcast Tim Dillon Show. It’s the best!

[@RawOlympia]

the first time I saw him he was wearing a bizarre Epstein costume (the building with the gold top and blue and white), it was surreal - I love it when I catch him!!!

[@Newsletter770]

No joke, they’re legit elderly people who live on cruises because it’s cheaper than nursing home

[@NotCreativeEngh]

It sounds cruel at first but imagine staying in that home for the rest of your life or see another country every 2 months?

[@Nilbogllat]

This needs to be a Netflix documentary

[@tristanplatts8869]

I can confirm this is 100% true. I’ve met sooo many older folks over the years on cruises who have said exactly this.

[@ryanhalliday2615]

Big facts. You ain’t never lied

[@day1avsfan907]

Once you're old enough to consider being in a nursing home, than I'd imagine you wouldn't feel like constantly traveling.

[@shawnsamsundar94]

that's classic high Joe comparing sea travel to space...lol.

[@Rockenstein68]

He’s way too stoned

[@thesponge836]

People have been making that comparison for hundreds of years, that's why they're called spaceSHIPs.

[@LifeofJD]

Rhys O'Connor hundreds of years tho ?

[@thesponge836]

@@LifeofJD Haha fair enough, it's been around since the late 1800s at least. But the link is so obvious that it would make sense that the comparison was drawn even earlier.

[@shawnsamsundar94]

@@thesponge836 I mean yeah I can understand the comparison but the way he was going on about it was funny as hell.

[@radarlovedr]

I literally watched this clip a day before my brother called to brag about going on a cruise later this year.

[@karoliskesminas8247]

Show him this video xD

[@cathypaz3555]

Tim Dillon...”I could have been a personal trainer”. Lol lol lol 😂

[@itsjustaride12]

mike fightfan it's a joke moron

[@hazza9595]

@mike fightfan He said that cause everyone on the ship was a lot fatter than he was. It's a joke man.

[@Shive1337]

@mike fightfan Do you have covid? I think you need a respirator, I don't think your brain is getting enough oxygen. You're being unable to understand what people are writing to you.

[@MaoMoney]

@mike fightfan I don't think Ive ever seen anyone so blatantly remove context from a joke lol

[@benbouchard7958]

Tim Dillon is the man. He vibes with "stoned joe" like no one else! I watch all his interviews start to finish... and break into hard laughing often. Good shit boys !

[@FOADJEWTUBE]

U FUUUKRZZZ ROKKK

[@stevend481]

Rogan takes him too serious. Awful vibe

[@DThat492]

Im starting to love Tim Dillon more & more. He's really funny.

[@jodythomas4324]

Tim Dillon is hilarious and one of my favorite up and coming comedians right now but the man literally looks like the typical guy you’d see on a cruise...

[@joshfrench6426]

That's the beauty of it

[@SilentNinjaaa]

Man looks like an over grown pig wearing clothes….Makes sense.

[@azbag1906]

Lol just a bit of self loathing going on.

[@Brian-be9jw]

"There's something fucked up about being on a vehicle on another vehicle" haha

[@ZenMaster4President]

Saved the best line of the clip til last

[@vinzentcordova358]

“If I’m on a boat, I’m getting drunk”

[@superspecky4eyes]

I went on a Norwegian cruise and it was dope. My partner and I were the youngest people on the boat by about 30 years and because, unlike the cruise regulars, we treated the staff like humans, we got treated like celebrities. As a one off, it was brilliant.

[@voiceofreason2674]

Carnival is way better trust me no rules just right

[@therainman7777]

@@voiceofreason2674 Can you explain what you mean by “no rules?” This is all new information to me.

[@voiceofreason2674]

@@therainman7777 the thing with norweigian is it feels like ur on some kinda strict vacation Bible school. All the crew is white people from east Europe and they bother u in a friendly way like “can I get u something this area closes in 15 minutes but we have a deck bar at the front u can go to” on carnival they go hard 24/7 everyone is Filipino or east Europe can’t speak good English and they ask to bum cigs off u. Tell you shit like “there’s a casino machine that’s about to payout. And the food is the same on either one. The seafood is horrible order a sirloin steak every nite it’s free.

[@mikeg2491]

@@voiceofreason2674 I’m 39 and see those ads for Viking River cruises and it’s all elderly people, hell I’d love to go tour castles cruising down the River Elbe. I think if they retooled their marketing they could attract younger more upscale clientele.

[@dougtheviking6503]

@@voiceofreason2674 What you've just described is a reason not to go on a cruise.

[@oro3510]

tim dillon is one of the funniest people alive right now he is so criminally underrated. he makes me laugh harder than just about anybody.

[@dacoldstone3764]

Okay Mr Gatto

[@AQS521]

Especially when he talks about air bnb. It’s hilarious

[@evanlabonte4571]

You have to appreciate satire a lot lmaooo. I like him to though

[@adamdiazzz]

He’s pretty funny but that funny lmfao

[@RickRockstar]

Ya

[@slime.poo6168]

"The lowest caliber people to have ever taken a breath"

[@Squcecreatorz]

You said it so wrong all you had to do was watch the part over

[@slime.poo6168]

@@Squcecreatorz crazy how you figured out what I meant 🤯. It's almost like it didn't need to be verbatim

[@ricflair5956]

You quoted him wrong you dumbass. You are a cruise ship patron, you’re so useless.

[@slime.poo6168]

@@ricflair5956 better get a lunatic like me off the streets

[@jeffsokolscoldpizza8997]

Imagine thinking you were so much better than people?

[@bryanutz4870]

Cruises are like going to Walmart, but with Costco food!

[@1Learn2Swim3]

Who hates going to Walmart? It's like going to a corporate Flea Market that a bus load of circus sideshow performers are shopping at.. with a bank and Subway attached. What's better than that?! 😁

[@pandapancakes37]

@@1Learn2Swim3 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@pandapancakes37]

@@1Learn2Swim3 there's always some greasy mom with cheeta print spandex walking slow asf in front of you

[@dcross446]

@@1Learn2Swim3 you can even get a half-ass hair cut at the one near me!

[@1Learn2Swim3]

@@pandapancakes37 😂 not walking though, Driving the go motorized grocery chair thing just cuz they're to lazy to walk!

[@Paullawrence1007]

Ex Navy here...when one shipmate was sick, the vast majority of the crew got sick. It was only a matter of time. I never go on cruise ships.

[@tomk6292]

Rick was in the navy?? That’s not canon

[@ronaldcervantes1959]

Navy crud

[@Kamalvincent]

Same here. I'm ex-Navy too and I never understood the appeal of cruises.

[@Paullawrence1007]

@@Kamalvincent likewise. If i go on any cruise liner, I expect someone to hand me a mop.

[@DatWonGuy]

My grandma died on a cruise because she (and I quote) “wanted to go on a cruise before I die” She had terminal cancer and she made those sorry SOB’s dock early and carry her off the ship.

[@jeremiaha5167]

She left like a G. Respect.

[@mwarn84]

“The lowest caliber of human to ever draw a breath”- 🤣🤣🤣

[@williamdixon8961]

He confessed to being high now, at the start.

[@1Trollcat]

My husband and I met performing on Carnival Cruise ships. We referred to them as WalMart of the Seas. That's basically the clientele. It's the weirdest lifestyle you can imagine. All my most vile human stories come from my five years working for them. I'm still shocked reality tv has not capitalized on the insane amounts of human debaucery that occurs on them, it's unreal. And yes they have a jail. And it's usually right next to the morgue. On longer cruises, which attract older clientele, they have a larger morgue because these old people die on ships ALL the time and they have to store them somewhere until they get back home. I was on a ship where several old people kicked it within the first few days and I saw the captain of the ship who said that if anyone else died they would have to empty the ice cream freezers which eerily played into a joke among the crew that if they were serving ice cream in our dining room for no reason, it meant they needed to stash a body. The industry is awful. Some of those workers are modern day slaves. Anyone crying about slavery and paying to go on a ship is literally paying a corporation to keep certain crew in the most horrifying living conditions while they work them 14 hour days 7 days a week. It's crazy. Performers barely get better living conditions but at least our hours aren't as terrible. I could go on and on... don't go on a cruise ship is the moral of the story though!

[@agent_ninety9]

This comment! 😂

[@IIEthanGamingII]

Wow

[@thescoobymike]

A fuckin morgue lmao

[@Samew0001]

I agree except no one is forced to work there, they can find other jobs if it's that bad, although I get it, maybe they should strike. Corporate greed: Make the most money with the least amount of people.

[@olejakobaune8033]

The oceans are no place for old people. The seas don't fuck around. In a minute you can get stuck for weeks, rogue wave. Whatever. Your story is so hysterical and dark though, I'm gonna have to take a cruise to check this shit out xd.

[@letsgomets07]

“Cruise people are sick” damn I got a good giggle on that one, so true

[@justinnardine8564]

Imagine being stuck on a cruise ship with a guy who’s the love child of Artie Langue and Chris Farley

[@Soloman_Gumball]

I'd believe it if you told me he was Artie's brother that doesn't do hard drugs.

[@justinnardine8564]

Ein He’s Artie w out the jacked up nose

[@jordanmercier3616]

@@justinnardine8564 he used to be a mad coke head, so his nose might be fucked up internally lol.

[@sum-0ld-manthat-conor-punc655]

You do know they don't actually put everyone in the same room though, right?

[@justinnardine8564]

Sum-0ld-Man That-Conor-Punched Obviously you’ve been on a cruise, sir?

[@jhouser972]

This Tim Dillion looks like the typical American that comes off a cruise ship what is he talking about?!

[@noname-qb7ir]

He's a walking milk float

[@esteven2668]

Sounds like a person with a lot of experience we should listen to

[@RealAnthonyJones]

He's a caricature of what the world who says "stupid americans" think americans really look like

[@Tarmac76]

Why attack him for being bigger? Does it invalidate his views? 40% of Americans are overweight. Looks like the typical American. FULL STOP.

[@jetter820]

Newlyweds, overfeds and half deads.

[@zzzzzz1039]

Joe derailing the conversation and Tim is just like "Yeah Joe, cruise ships are like space ships, uh huh..."

[@BeerMe831]

Cruise people and degenerate gamblers fit into some kind of weird venn diagram.

Cruise ship people = Walmart Regulars = Vegas Casino Tourists= Kentucky Citizens.

[@MM-gl1xz]

Especially when you go on a poker cruise lol

[@FixedWing82]

Those and people who listen to margaritaville playlists

[@johndoe4724]

Based

[@bullmoosemedia]

Tim is both....that's why he knows so much about it. TRUTH IN POWER. LOL

[@williehughes1690]

It's just like why Bill Burr was talking about randomly sinking cruise ships it's because of the caliber of people who go on them.

[@samus598]

That bit is the best! Old Billy Bronze Balls was way ahead of his time. "Its animals" lol!!

[@metalboy27]

His population control dreams are starting to come to fruition.

[@surfingtothestars]

metalboy27 like we need a plague lol

[@iHaveTheDocuments]

Next let's sink California

[@Nedula007]

Ya 😂

[@jonhouseman5210]

Absolutely a genuine funny, sad, realistic conversation...I love it!

[@trailguidealex5010]

Alot of old people spend money on cruises because they know they are gonna die and would prefer being on cruise then being in a retirement home

[@irishjoe2941]

Bad Cattitude that’s true I worked in a Nursing home when I was younger in Southampton NY and had friends in the Accounting dept and they average out 300-500 a day! A fucking day!

[@MyJiel]

Yeah that's not a valid excuse to support an industry to fucks the environment more than most other entertainment industries. Fuck people who go on cruises

[@susie7336]

Trailguide Alex damn.

[@rzawistowski33]

I met an old lady in a cruise that said she just goes on constant back to back cruises, cuz it's way cheaper and safer than living alone. There's a doctor, people every to help, tons of stuff to do, get to see new places all the time. It cost her $1500-2k monthly compared to $6k on land without food.

[@PANTYEATR1]

@Bad Cattitude ahhhh....the Villages...I'm trying to find the secret sex society out there. i hear there's old MILFS out there with husbands that can't perform anymore and they will finance a stud like me to come wreck that juice box! are the STDs still crazy out there tho?😅

[@45johngalt]

"People getting on a boat and traveling across the country." My stoned @ss thinking of a ship moving along west on the great prairies.

[@colincopland3665]

That’s been the business model of river cruises for forever...

[@concatinate]

Some guy in the 1800s invented something like a covered wagon with sails to sail on dry land... hmm...

[@CarloisBuriedAlive]

I love Joe using space, something most people haven’t interacted with, to help explain the earth’s oceans lol

[@dominiquesmith8939]

Tim was lowkey eating in that buffet.

[@andreww5574]

And he asked the guy "Rough night?"

[@KFrost-fx7dt]

Tim was the guy.

[@jeffsokolscoldpizza8997]

Haha true

[@Btn1136]

Lowkey?

[@bigbaby8533]

Its common for old people to die on cruises. To take a trip on a cruise every day until you die is a cheaper retirement plan than going to a retirement home.

[@Garrettito6671]

Ginja Boy well most cruises, especially retirement cruises, have morgues on the ship because people die so often

[@seanhurley9216]

My grandmother fell in the bathroom on a cruise and died

[@buffalomind6838]

Imagine having done that for fifty years until you pass? Well grandma started young, and chose the seas you know along with a thousand other people on a continuous rotation of new people every week. It doesn’t seem to be as enjoyable when you type it out, but rather terrifyingly sad. A The Twilight Zone episode brings nightmares to me at this moment. Brrr

[@Kier4n99]

@@seanhurley9216 sorry for your loss bro

[@Mynewhandle420]

@@seanhurley9216 😭😞

[@J__007]

“That’s a vacation for somebody who’s fuhhked”. 😂 9:05

[@bartynburgdorf293]

"Dude if I'm on a boat, I'm getting drunk" - Joe Rogan

[@jeffatkinson2672]

Joe “Dude if I’m on a boat, I’m getting drunk” Rogan

[@tyzilla87]

Yup..... 💯%. Which is why when me and the fiancee goes on cruises, we automatically purchase the drink package. WELLLLLL WORTHHH IT

[@ellaisboring]

@@tyzilla87 how is the hangover on the ocean though? 🤢

[@jamesdillonmccracken]

@@ellaisboring no hangover if you don't stop drinking lol

[@amandah3619]

I read this as he said it. Inception

[@chetthebee1322]

I didn't know Chris Christie did standup also.

[@eyeheartvideogames692]

Chester Bee 🤣😂

[@fliptophiphop1894]

Dumb

[@Robisquick]

Tim Dillon, Theo Vonn, and Joey Diaz is the absolute funniest ranters of all time.

[@Lebowski333]

Bill burr 😎

[@aaravarora737]

Alex jones

[@dustinstafford3456]

Second stimulus check I'm going on like five cruises

[@Kevs442]

Dude, for 12 hondo's, you can take ALL the cruises.

[@dustinstafford3456]

I'm gonna stay cruising

[@toddlehman928]

Try getting a job instead

[@dustinstafford3456]

I already have a job but good try

[@GeorgeGlass298]

Good luck with getting a second stimulus check 🤣

[@ellaisboring]

Instead of retiring my grandparents decided they're just going to go on cruises until they die. Sounds like a solid plan

[@rzawistowski33]

It's cheaper than a nursing home, plus they got better food and doctors still

[@FM-pr1ht]

My favorite JRE guest, he always naturally kills

[@jimbo9305]

"There are comics that perform there." "Yes. They live in hell."

[@bentline]

This was the best cruise advertisement I've seen in a while. It made me want to go on a cruise.

[@NIMMHATVRapBeats]

Good luck with your lungs after you got the rona

[@callanc3925]

Yeah makes me wanna go see all the fucked up people, maybe witness a couple old bodies

[@MizantropMan]

It made me want to work on one.

[@randimoniumtime]

I got second hand high listening to Joe talk about cruise ships and space.

[@alexandergrothendieck1571]

"Because I am high right now" classic Joe.

[@jessebennett6834]

Now*

[@alexandergrothendieck1571]

@@jessebennett6834 I am high too.

[@jessebennett6834]

@@alexandergrothendieck1571 its cool bro bro, I am high too! #HealthyMindsSmokeWeedEveryday

[@Tomsonx232]

It really depends on the cruise you go on. Royal Caribbean has been a great time for me, been twice in the last 2 years. Definitely is weird walking around the ship at night and just looking out at nothing but darkness

[@trumpyclancey824]

Broke ass trashy fuck

[@darrpurcell8613]

Swingers??

[@darrpurcell8613]

@Epic asking a question dude you know that's what the question marks are for

[@shrapnel77]

Went on "Majesty of the Seas." for my honeymoon. It was an awesome time. Food anytime you want, casino (won $200.00), coffee, rooms are small, but are not in your room during the day. Never slept better in my life. For me and my wife, 3 days, two nights, Key West, Bahamas, Coco Kay (sp?). The top deck at night would have winds at 40-50 mph, it was awesome to go up there at night. Plane flight, cruise, two people, $1,300.00. Not bad, but that might be over.

[@loomspace]

Look up, the stars are the best thing about being at sea.

[@roguetoken5640]

One of the few clips where Joe makes Tim laugh.

[@anthonydedvukaj2694]

I have no experience with cruises so I always heard about them as a luxury until I saw this video😂👍🏼

[@kathurtado13]

Believe me THEY ARE NOT LUXURIOUS!!

[@PattyKakes7787]

Bro, cruises are awesome. Use the ship as an airplane, get off the boat as soon as it docks and get back on as late as possible, you can see the world on a budget.

[@pizzajeanz4410]

They’re a lot of fun. Royal Caribbean was a great time, and I’m young lol

[@Zmart30]

Anthony Dedvukaj they’re great fun man. Just don’t go on them at this time lol

[@hamishgaffaney5323]

Yep, I use to think I was missing out by not going one, now I really don't want to go on one ever

[@jacklonghearse9821]

Cruise ships are the Wal-Marts of Yachts

[@Mano_421]

“That’s the cure for homelessness carnival cruises” 😂😂😂

[@skreign]

He may be on to something here

[@matkiley17]

The worst possible caliber of human to draw a breathe.

[@trojanhorse9459]

Who

[@matkiley17]

The cruise pp.l Tim literally says the line . And actually yes my father is a deadbeat that was an excellent call..irish last name gave it away

[@trojanhorse9459]

You sound like a totally disgusting person to judge a group of people you don’t know.

[@matkiley17]

I believe its called a joke. These are comedians you know that right?

[@aintnuthinbutathang1646]

@@trojanhorse9459 he was quoting the video

[@Macadune1197]

This was my first exposure to Tim Dillon

[@guadafok3585]

Joe "Metal floating makes no sense" Rogan

[@NaturalHypertrophy]

Cruise ships are hiring right now, I heard that the turnover rate has skyrocketed recently for some reason

[@Nswix]

My friend is a stewardess, I was thinking the same thing. Theres not enough money to pay me to be locked in a tube with people coughing for eight hours...

[@RuthCuadrado]

I worked on a cruiseship. People don’t even get a salary. It’s all tip-based. I’d never do that again

[@mitchrils]

Natural Hypertrophy I see you everywhere bro haha

[@trojanhorse9459]

Ruth Cuadrado I did too but I was paid handsomely. The people are terrible but not as bad as lake people.

[@dain6492]

Joe's face at 11:07 is priceless when Tim says Venice is a beautiful city

[@adamtelsayer]

I worked for Carnival for 3 years. I can say most of this is true.

[@Jesuisderetour87]

Uhhhh because that’s one of the lowest end cruise liners that exist.

[@MosheXX]

Am I buggin cause this only made me want to get on a cruise

[@trojanhorse9459]

Go on one. Fuck these people. I’ve had great times cruising. Worked for them and patroned them. Just do some research and then go have fun.

[@jacksongraydon2503]

1:02 the way he suddenly shouts "DEAD!" 🤣🤣😅😅😅

[@bluedressable]

This made me laugh so hard. I love cruising, I’ve been on over 10 cruises and have visited over 25 countries because of it. You meet the craziest mother fuckers you’d ever met on cruises. Drugs, alcohol, partying. It’s every day. I wish they mentioned the elderly retiring, selling everything they had and cruising for the rest of their life. Unlimited health care, housing, food, room cleaned each day, travel, activities. Why would you living in an expensive ass nursing home for $10,000 a month when you can cruise for a month at $20/day?

[@ellysoncompany743]

“The dark ocean, especially at night.” Joe is a modern Einstein.

[@elbonja]

Been sailing for 8 years. 5 on a cargo ship, 3 on a cruise ship. THOSE 3 YEARS WERE HELL ON EARTH. It's an incredibly stressfull work environment.

[@Hm1-zn3bn]

As an officer or rating? Asking cause I'm considering changing cargo ships for cruisers. Maybe bigger salary is not worth it..

[@georgetheonlyporge]

Joe's unintentional comedy is sometimes his best. The comments section consistently providing high level entertainment from the smartest, wittiest and funniest community there is. Literally from all walks of life. Like his guests. Joe's created something beautiful here. And he has done so not despite, but because of his shortcomings. The humanity that's there for all to see.

[@ohthaterin]

💯 this!!

[@nickmattio3397]

Tim looks like a Carnival cruise ship

[@visualreaction9738]

12 year old kid wrote this comment^^

[@kevinfernandes1882]

Tim is one of the best guys out there rn he is hilarious

[@GooberLoofer420]

I actually quite enjoyed the cruise I went on, not Carnival though, Royal Caribbean. Food was great, didn't really hassle with the trolls in the buffet, though. The unlimited drinks pass made it all worth while, I was shit housed the entire time, drink a cup of black coffee first thing then get to the booze. Shocking amount of fine chicks in thong bikini's too, in addition to the women who had no business in a 2 piece.

[@puremaledark8305]

Doug Smith did the same. I love drinking, thank god i got the unlimited drinks. It was fucking miserable and the food sucked ass hole. I legit stopped eating after like 4 days. Trash!

[@Chrispypullen]

It's easy bandwagon humor

[@IEmIM]

I've been on dozens of cruises. Mostly princess but a few on Crystal and I really really enjoyed them. Listening to someone who has never been on one and someone who has only likely gone on low tier - large crowd cruise lines is hilarious. It's like listening to people talk about eating sushi, who have never eaten sushi or only eaten gas station sushi and are entirely disgusted at the thought of doing so without any real quality experience to back it up.

[@puremaledark8305]

EmM listening to someone who assumes the “low tier” is interesting also. Quite the assumption. But there does seem to be only two types of people out there, people who love cruises and people who hate them. Never met anyone in the middle; thats been on one.

[@IEmIM]

@@puremaledark8305 yea, fair point. It does seem pretty polarizing haha

[@rudydalessandro1094]

I worked for 23 years on cruise ships, my advantage was my position, as senior officer, I had my own, nice cabin, and full service, both cabin cleaning, and dining. I didn't had to stand at buffet with hundreds of people, we seat, with captain and other senior officers and being served.

[@hendawg3048]

WGAF…

[@Kevin-xi6ts]

Gopher?

[@jameswall1987]

"That's a vacation, for someone, who's Fucked." - Tim Dillion I crack up every time I think about what he's saying.

[@HomestarCrawler]

I went on a cruise once several years ago. It was really awesome. 1/2 the days were at sea and 1/2 at some location. When I was at some location I would go exploring, one day I hiked in a rain forest and bathed beneath a beautiful waterfall. On another I explored an old fortress which still had rusted out canons, used to fight off pirates. On another I went on a tour of the oldest rum distillery in the world. And on at-sea-days I'd find an empty deck (the ones far from the buffet) and read while sipping cocktails. In the evening we'd play cards or watch a show. You don't have to stand in line at the buffet, there are fancier restaurants you can go to. I'd do it again. I guess there are some trashy people there, but you can easily avoid them.

[@sierrasmith8722]

wow 🤩 where did you go

[@brandonelmo5607]

I’ve been on 1 cruise in my 22 years. It was the first and last I will ever go on

[@TheSpritz0]

Why? Can you explain what happened?

[@charleszvirbulis5230]

lmao what cruise line??

[@brandonelmo5607]

TheSpritz0 Id just much rather take a vacation where I’m just on beach/resort for a week would much rather stay in one place and enjoy it rather then visit a country for a couple hours and then get the bums rush to the ship. I didn’t find the cruise relaxing at all, I mean that’s the main reason why people take vacations is to escape reality and relax and not have cruise staff telling you what to do all week. I found it pretty boring on The sea days like what I said before wouldn’t you rather be on a beach instead of a crowded boat day?

[@brandonelmo5607]

Charles Zvirbulis Norwegian, so you can’t tell me I went on a shitty cruise line

[@TheSpritz0]

@@brandonelmo5607 So there was no opportunity to hook up with any hot women??

[@tn21108]

@6:38 Joe not giving up on reading while that high is something I admit to admire.

[@danielabatabogdanov8586]

Never seen Tim before but he seems naturally funny

[@aseaton]

When you're in International Waters, you are subject to the laws of the country whose flag flies on the vessel. Because that's where the ship is registered

[@dustinharford8454]

Thanks for sharing, interesting!

[@nathandust]

Fuck that. Break the law all night, all day.

[@alecnolastname4362]

@@nathandust Yeaaa because being locked in a jail cell on a cruise ship for 20days while it makes its leasure way back to an impovernished nation where IF the prison is in good condition the prisoners will not take to kindly to a white man.

[@Awesummzzz]

Most cruise ship companies fly flags of Central American or Caribbean countries. Looser laws than US and Canada, I'd guess

[@alecnolastname4362]

@@Awesummzzz cheaper labour

[@alexcoyg3281]

My friend forgot his room key inside the room, got locked out so he went to next door cabin where his brother was staying, went on the balcony walked on the ledge and got inside his room which was open.... someone saw him doing that... a couple of officers came to his cabin 15 min later, made him sign some paper and then dropped him off in Mexico next day when they docked... he is forever banned from Carnival, Celebrity ,Royal Caribean and Disney cruises.

[@Inky925]

I went on a carnival cruise once for my grandparent's 50th anniversary. It was single-handedly the worst experience of my life

[@gperrin9050]

I've stood on the lower deck of a cruise ship late at night whilst in the middle of an endless calm ocean and I've never experienced anything like that before. The Ocean felt like an enormous, patient hungry beast offering a cold lonely death. It was whispering "Nobody will find you, I get to keep you with all the others, you'll be my treasure and after I swallow you, I'll never think of you again"

[@Whitters40]

Dude, walk to the light. Step outside. Smile maybe.

[@voiceofreason2674]

A carnival cruise out of New Orleans to Cozumel during the dead of summer is the only way to do it

[@voiceofreason2674]

@@RR-lh1kv yea it’s a lot of fun cuz u get the New Orleans locals crowd and you get the people who are willing to party in like September when the heat is insane

[@BOOSETO]

Gotta love how Doug dresses like the Mayor from JAWS

[@Ian_Durr]

"There's a certain group of people in this world who have just excepted thar their animals. And then it's just fun!" -Tim @ 12:20 hahaha!!

[@sgriff-zf9nc]

Tim dillon is a legend what a guy

[@austinkeithgrant]

Falling off a cruise ship is legit one of my worst fears ever

[@waywardwritersinn1273]

I thought I was the only one!

[@jadentaylor7384]

Dont forget rogue waves

[@Jesuisderetour87]

Must have been a past life 😂

[@mmms1917]

🤣🤣🤣 Tim nailed his description. I worked for every major cruise line over a 3 year period. If I knew how, I’d turn that experience into a series. Drunk passengers chasing the casino manager around with a pole after losing all their money at the tables. Guests, stealing crappy souvenirs from the gift shop, and then proceeded to be arrested when we docked in Miami. Someone cretinous human even lifted up her dress and took a dump in the photo gallery. People would drive their mobility scooters to their table, get off onto their chair, and then the waiter would go and park the scooter. At the end of the dinner the waiter would drive the scooter to the guests table and the guests would get onto the scooter and drive across the ship to the theatre or casino. Jo and Tim were wondering if anyone lived on the ship because it’s cheaper than living on land. I met a woman who did just that. She sold everything and live on ships. Apparently she reached a deal with Crystal Cruises, where she pays $164,000 per year to live onboard. In terms of cruise lines, Crystal is generally on the higher end of spectrum, but a cruise ship nonetheless.

[@decespugliatorenucleare3780]

that's incredibly sad